servicey - Jezebel

posts about #servicey more →
Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/18/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
OMG BUTTER. Food of the Gods. President, salted. Plugra, I didn't care for. I use butter in my cooking as much as fucking possible. There's this thing I make, when I grill any kind of steaks. It consists of tiny tiny slivers of fresh garlic, and when I say tiny, I mean tiny. Add to saute pan. Add 1/2 stick of salted President. Add fresh black pepper. Simmer on really low heat, don't let it bubble too much. Taste it approximately 70,000 times by dipping pieces of warm crusty bread in it. When it's done, pour it (not any of that "drizzle" shit-I said POUR) on top of the steak. Mmmmm bloody steak..Sorry. So pour it on, salt it, and then pick up that steak with your bare hands and devour it like a mountain lion. it's like sex in your mouth.
Reply

warwickbeloved
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
im happy to report to everyone that the margarine in missouri is indeed yellow. i'm poor, and the color comforts me.
Reply

warwickbeloved was starred warwickbeloved was unstarred

Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
12/18/08

@warwickbeloved: I was gonna say, I'm so sure I've eaten yellow margarine here. And not been fined.
Reply

tscheese
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
Also, why did this thread go up when I was on the bus. WHY.

Anyway.

My mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever had. She uses cold margarine, straight from the fridge, and mixes everything with her hands. Her chocolate chip cookies, no lie, are the best on the planet. I NEED the recipe. The cookies are soft without being too chewy, and they just melt away in your mouth. Delicious.
Reply

tscheese was starred tscheese was unstarred

Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
Er, I would like to use this opportunity to say that we should quit disparaging margarine and paraphrase Cracked.com's debunking of the margarine-is-one-molecule-away-from-being-plastic myth, "Saying margarine is one molecule away from plastic doesn't mean anything. It's like saying the word farm is one letter away from fart."
Reply

Diziet_Sma
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
After reading all these posts, i realize I have a butter hierarchy:

President

Lurpak

Plugra

Kate's

Kerrygold

. . .aaand now I realize that butter takes up way more of my brain space than it really should. Sigh.
Reply

Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

DramaClub
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
I like lurpak Danish butter. It's what I grew up on. Silver foil wrapped goodness. It's not fancy schmancy but it's better than American butter.
Reply

DramaClub was starred DramaClub was unstarred

Diziet_Sma
12/17/08

@DramaClub: Yes! Lurpak a Luverly!
Reply

Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

HereComesMyBaby
12/17/08

@DramaClub: Hahaha! I totally eat Lurpak whenever I'm in Israel and the name always cracks me up. Lurpak.
Reply

HereComesMyBaby was starred HereComesMyBaby was unstarred

Diziet_Sma
12/17/08

@Diziet_Sma: I meant Lurpak is Luverly. I blame butter-induced distraction.
Reply

Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

Diziet_Sma
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
Margarine is the devil's work.
Reply

Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

drspaceman
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
This article has made me self-conscious. How are you supposed to cream the butter if you don't have an electric mixer?
Reply

drspaceman was starred drspaceman was unstarred

Diziet_Sma
12/17/08

@drspaceman: You can do it wth a wooden spoon in a bowl - great workout for your biceps!
Reply

Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

TheFormerJuneBronson
12/17/08

@drspaceman: I use the wooden-spoon-and-bowl method. The trick is to leave the butter at room temp for several hours beforehand (or less time if it's summer and/or you live in a hot climate. We keep the house at 65 in the winter, so room temp is just perfect here right now).
Reply

TheFormerJuneBronson
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
Butter all the way for me, and I'm vindicated about not melting it for cookies. It's harder to cream it, but that's what you have to do if you want the cookies to turn out right. It also makes a slight difference if you do it by hand or with the mixer--you can over-cream butter with the mixer in a trice.

You just know that that bitchy margarine-hater spat the bite into a napkin and left it and the bitten cookie on the buffet table, like some kind of animal. How rude can you get, anyhow, even when confronted with a margarine cookie?
Reply

thesciencegirl wields the truth like a mighty axe.
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
I use margarine in baking sometimes, if that's what I have around (it's cheaper!) but nothing really competes with butter. Oh butter.

Sometimes, for a late-night snack, I will have toast with butter and powdered sugar, and it is like heaven. I was craving this once but all I had was margarine, and it was an epic failure.
Reply

clevernamehere
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
I'm not sure I'm anal enough to start using a thermometer on butter, but I'm surprised anyone uses margerine for baking. I get why you'd use it on toast- lower calories and spreads better. But one of the reasons I bake at home is so the sweets I eat aren't as processed as the ones you buy commerically. Plus baking is so tempermental unless you created the recipe yourself or the recipe calls for it, you're in for a lot of trial and error.
Reply

clevernamehere was starred clevernamehere was unstarred

SisterMaryMartha
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
You know, I have a beef with unsalted butter. It isn't meant to be eaten- it is for baking. Sprinkling some salt crystals on top IS NOT THE SAME THING.

Unsalted butter even smells different. Ick.
Reply

SisterMaryMartha was starred SisterMaryMartha was unstarred

queenieinmanhattan
12/17/08

@SisterMaryMartha: I loooove the smell of unsalted (sweet) butter. Yum.
Reply

queenieinmanhattan was starred

Diziet_Sma
12/17/08

@SisterMaryMartha: I LOVE it. Big slabs on French crusty bread with Sarabeth's Strawberry Raspberry jam. . .
Reply

Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

Diziet_Sma
12/17/08

@Diziet_Sma: But it has to be French, which is a whole different ballgame to domestic, because it is so much creamier. Although Kate's is ok.
Reply

Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

TheFormerJuneBronson
12/17/08

@SisterMaryMartha: I use it only for candymaking, and then only when I remember, or when it's absolutely necessary. I've used salted for toffee and it's been fine--the recipe calls for a pinch of salt anyhow.
Reply

labeled
12/17/08

@SisterMaryMartha: I'm with you. My parents have taken to buying only unsalted butter, which makes my stepdad's *awesome* gumbo seem... odd, when served with the requisite french bread & butter. I've tried to get them to go back, to no avail.
Reply

labeled was starred labeled was unstarred

aubonpam
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
I use a lot of canola oil in stuff like cupcakes. They come out fine.
Reply

aubonpam was starred aubonpam was unstarred

Diziet_Sma
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
Sacre bleu! French unsalted is the pièce de résistance of all butters! (Although Kate's is acceptable.)
Reply

Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

theminutepast
12/17/08

In reply to Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin
I'm really tired of people thinking butter and dairy are this divine, all-powerful food.

I always use margarine when baking. The brand I use (Earth Balance) doesn't taste or act any different than butter, so I took offense to the baker's quote. I already do everything they suggested in the article, and it works equally fine with margarine. I mean, if you're using some craptastic grocery store brand margarine, of course the final product will taste like crap.
Reply

theminutepast was starred theminutepast was unstarred

Mama Penguino
12/17/08

@theminutepast: But could Marlon have used margarine in Last Tango? I think not, dear girl!
Reply

Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred

RoseColette (fewer thorns; more coffee)
12/17/08

@theminutepast: Second Earth Balance. It tastes better than margarine and friends can't tell that it's not butter.
Reply

BluebellaElliot
12/17/08

@theminutepast: Yeah I'm totally in agreeance here. I use Nuttelex (Australians back me up?) it must be similar to Earth Balance I guess. Delicious and totally vegan.

Fuck dairy.
Reply

BluebellaElliot was starred BluebellaElliot was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#servicey

Jezebel

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

Food Fight: Butter & Its Baker's Cousin

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment