seriously? - Jezebel

posts about #seriously more →
A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
Time Machine Somehow Sends Sunday Times Back To 2005
Interspecies Campaigning

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

Flackette Goes Retro
08/31/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
Buying me a bottle of good bourbon and an almond creme cake is a much more foolproof bet.
Reply

LadyFabulous
08/31/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
So I'm assuming some guy at Men's Health just got his paws on a DVD of the Sex and the City movie...
Reply

LadyFabulous was starred LadyFabulous was unstarred

likepenguins
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
Honestly, I never thought sex was all that confusing until I started scanning the covers of magazines at the grocery checkout. Now I feel like I should be operating off a very detailed list of checks and balances. If I'm not in the mood for sex because I'm tired/stressed/needing alone time, he should buy me shoes. if he buys me shoes, I should fuck him as a thank you. Does the price of the shoes affect the amount or quality of the thank-you sex? If he buys me Christian Louboutins, do I have to invite over two of my young, nubile friends?

I need a flow chart.
Reply

LadyFabulous promoted this comment likepenguins was starred likepenguins was unstarred

clevernamehere
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
This whole article is a monument for shitty advice.

New shoes? I'm really not that into shoes, plus not every woman wears the same size across brand.

Their advice for dealing with a woman who is self-conscious about her body is to stop complimenting her because apparently saying "Nice legs" makes women think you hate their butt. What?

The article say that women don't orgasm because they think to much but all of there advice basically involves bossing her around. As if just doing what Men's Health says should work, no need to actually ask her how she likes to be touched.

Its one big fail.
Reply

clevernamehere was starred clevernamehere was unstarred

hellosunshine
08/31/09

@clevernamehere: Seriously? Because when The Dude's all "I lurve your booty," I'm like "hell yes you do, because it's awesome."
Reply

Edited by hellosunshine at 08/31/09 12:47 AM hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred

LaComtesse
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
I'm most offended by the shoe thing, I am most concerned, however, about the whole "If she's quiet in the sack and you want her to be a screamer, go ahead and make noise of your own. You can even sing a little!" (I'm paraphrasing, but it's there.)

Dude. If you start singing while we're having sex, either the singing or the sex must stop immediately.
Reply

Edited by LaComtesse at 08/30/09 8:33 PM LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred

Diziet_Sma
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
So this is where some off those commenters on the Megan Fox thread get their crazy-assed ideas. We're doomed, DOOMED, I TELL YOU!
Reply

Edited by Diziet_Sma at 08/30/09 7:35 PM Diziet_Sma was starred Diziet_Sma was unstarred

greengrey
08/30/09

@Diziet_Sma: I didn't know Men's Health was so popular!
Reply

greengrey was starred greengrey was unstarred

pabs
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
And all this time...I could have been holding out and at least getting some shoes.
Reply

Sophie needs to study...damn promoted this comment pabs was starred pabs was unstarred

velvet.fistfull of love
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
Is this what Megan fox was after with that last quote, is this how one wins in a heterosexual relationship? Oh, the power of the mighty vag.
Reply

greengrey promoted this comment

funzette
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
what the hell kind of person buys another person shoes? how do you know they'll fit? buying shoes as a gift for another human being has never occurred to me (except maybe for a baby).

i have a girlfriend whose dad buys her shoes he thinks she'll like, usually cute heels. i don't know what to make of this.
Reply

Sophie needs to study...damn promoted this comment funzette was starred funzette was unstarred

greengrey
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
If I fail to initiate sex, there's probably something wrong with me. I may be sick. Or stressed. Or something else.
A guy could :gasp: TALK to me and see whats up. But that would take communication and actually thinking I'm more than just something to fuck.
Reply

greengrey was starred greengrey was unstarred

Cher_Horowitz
08/30/09

@greengrey: Lies! Women have to be coaxed and/or manipulated into sex. Fortunately, Cosmo gave me 101 tips should I ever be shanghaied into the sack.
Reply

greengrey promoted this comment Cher_Horowitz was starred Cher_Horowitz was unstarred

malishka
08/30/09

@greengrey: Most of the time, for me, all it takes is for him to clean the kitchen or do the laundry. Does this make me some sort of household chore prostitute? Maybe, but otherwise, I'm just too tired.
Reply

StarSquid is in love with a robot promoted this comment malishka was starred malishka was unstarred

Dodgergirl
08/30/09

@greengrey: oh, you're hilarious greengrey. Respect and communication? Who wants that? I mean, we all know you would just be withholding sex to get what you want, and don't you want more shoes?
Reply

Edited by Dodgergirl at 08/30/09 6:54 PM Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred

greengrey
08/30/09

@Dodgergirl: I buy my own overpriced footwear. I know, I'm like a man or something.
Reply

greengrey was starred greengrey was unstarred

Dodgergirl
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
I think Men's Health has made a decision to treat all women like Dug from Up. Our initial affection is easily won, but we're also easily distra-- SHOES!
Reply

Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred

BetteD
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
Oh MH, you so gay. It's alright, you can stop frontin' any time.
Reply

homovegetarian promoted this comment BetteD was starred BetteD was unstarred

SarahHeartburn
08/30/09

In reply to A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health
I guess it's a step up from buying her a dishwasher?
Reply

SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred

badmutha
07/05/09

In reply to Time Machine Somehow Sends Sunday Times Back To 2005
Also, I like it when tabloids use the word "flux" in non-scientific ways. They should print a picture of Brad, Angie, and Jen under the big headline "FLUXING!"
Reply

badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred

le monde is rond
07/05/09

In reply to Time Machine Somehow Sends Sunday Times Back To 2005
Sometimes I wonder if Jennifer, Brad and Angelina every get together over coffee to read tabloids and have a good laugh.
Reply

le monde is rond was starred le monde is rond was unstarred

Bunsen Honeydew
07/05/09

@le monde is rond: I like to imagine Jen was tired of Brad and realized she wasn't the marriage type, but thought He and her pal Angelina should go on a blind date since he was having trouble during the initial separation. Angelina clips home decorating and remodeling articles to mail to Jen, while Jen takes the kids every so often so Angie and Brad can go see a movie and go out to dinner. The kids call her Aunt Jen and look forward to being stuffed full of junk food and Jen likes giving them back to their parents after a few hours when they are no fun anymore. And every October they all take a weekend trip to Vermont because Brad and John Mayer are such suckers for those fall colors. This has all been a publicity scam, and we are all suckers.
Reply

Bunsen Honeydew was starred Bunsen Honeydew was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#seriously

Jezebel

A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health

Time Machine Somehow Sends Sunday Times Back To 2005

Interspecies Campaigning

#seriously

Jezebel

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

A Quickie From Our Friends At Men's Health

Time Machine Somehow Sends Sunday Times Back To 2005

Interspecies Campaigning

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment