[New York, November 2. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - NOVEMEBER 2: An armed military personnel guards during an arrival ceremony of the amphibious transport dock ship the soon to be commissioned USS New York on November 2, 2009 in New York City. The New York was built by Northrop Grumman Ship Systems in Avondale, Louisiana, using 7.5 tons of steel salvaged from the wreckage of the World Trade Center site in her bow will be commissioned during a ceremony on November 7. (Photo by Ramin Talaie/Getty Images)

[New York, September 11. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 11: Family members of victims walk to the reflecting pool as people gather at Ground Zero during a 9/11 memorial ceremony on September 11, 2009 in New York City. Family of the victims, government officials and others gathered at the annual ceremony to remember the attacks that killed more than 2,700 people with the destruction of the World Trade Center, the crash at the Pentagon and United 93 in Shanksville, Pennsylvania on September 11, 2001. (Photo by John Angelillo-Pool/Getty Images)

[New York, September 11. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 11: Marta Waisman (R) of NYC, holds a photo of her daughter Gabriela, who lost her life in the attacks as people gather at Ground Zero during a 9/11 memorial ceremony on September 11, 2009 in New York City. Family of the victims, government officials and others gathered at the annual ceremony to remember the attacks that killed more than 2,700 people with the destruction of the World Trade Center, the crash at the Pentagon and United 93 in Shanksville, Pennsylvania on September 11, 2001. (Photo by Robert Sciarrino-Pool/Getty Images)

[Amritsar, September 10. Image via Getty]

Indian school children hold a candle lit vigil in memory of victims of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks in the US on the eve of the attacks' anniversary in Amritsar September 10, 2009. The eight anniversary of Islamist al Qaeda militants bringing down New York City's World Trade Center twin towers and damaging the US military intelligence nerve center the Pentagon will be marked worldwide. AFP PHOTO/NARINDER NANU (Photo credit should read NARINDER NANU/AFP/Getty Images)

[Washington, D.C., September 9. Image via Getty]

Frances Watson holds a picture of her niece CeeCee Coss Lyles, who was a flight attendant of United Airlines Flight 93, in front of a plaque unveiled by US House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid dedicated to United Airlines Flight 93 at the East Front Lobby of the Capitol Hill in Washington, DC, on September 9, 2009. Flight 93 was hijacked on September 11, 2001 and crashed in Pennsylvania. AFP PHOTO/Jewel SAMAD (Photo credit should read JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images)

MOE: Hey sorry to be late AGAIN. I'm in my own house this time at least. And you are at Anna's. I went to a hip hop show last night. I have not yet brewed coffee. Ohhhh Joe Biden baby get some self-esteem. Why would you say that? As good as it would be for the VP debate ratings. Also Nike has a new slogan in Europe. It is also the name of a popular Catholic hymn. What, "Be Not Afraid" was taken? Ugh. Coffee. Must brew

MEGAN: Ugh, so, probably drinking more after I finished that first bottle of wine last night, while it seemed like a good idea at the time, probably wasn't. But I have my coffee well in hand already because otherwise, I would've crawled back into bed. And, someone needs to be nicer to Biden or something! He's likeable, too! Remember how we all liked him and his mama at the Democratic convention? Baby, it's cool, everyone's just a little distracted by the popular girl but you're so choice-a-riffic, it's sexy, they'll be back. I think I heard both those hymns the last time I was in church.
Oh, Jesus Christ, this line:

The agency decided to use animation to make the athletes less intimidating.

MOE: The other night we got a stalker tip on Serena Williams and the tipster noted that she "looked elegant, but has very toned arms." YOU DON'T SAY, DUMBASS TIPSTER. Oh I guess I should note here that it is September 11. Ughhhh okay the coffee looks ready.

MEGAN: I know, I'm not sure which part of my masochistic brain was all "Go to New York for September 11th!" except maybe the part where I've been in D.C. for the last 6 of them and thus I was going to be one of the two places anyway.

MOE: Ha ha ha whose idea was it to turn on the Hadron Collider for September 11? I like their sense of timing.

MEGAN: When I was home with my family, they watch the actual network newscasts and NBC was all interviewing the Swiss guy who was like "They're going to create a black hole that will eat the Earth!! They must be stopped!!" It was kind of completely awesome and sort of made me want to watch the actual broadcast news more!

MOE: Sorry I keep getting bumped off. And a friend of Julie's is here now, wanting to show me an internet video. What else is happening?

MEGAN: No worries, I was just reading your brilliant piece about the oil-for-sex scandal. Anything Saddam can do, we can do better! And one of our readers apparently works for McCain and totally ripped off my smelly vagina line from yesterday and I'm trying to figure if I can sue for royalties.

MOE: The video is pretty awesome. Have you seen "America Is Fucked (Graphically At Least)"??

MEGAN: Um, I'm watching something called "Magic Flashlight" and it's making me want to get drunk and play with glowsticks... Am I watching the right thing?

MOE: Oh my god that is amazing but what the fuck LINKins? Two seconds of coding was two seconds too many? God that is awesome. Priceless. And no, shit, maybe I sent you the wrong link. Google "jess gibson america fucked graphically at least" though not actually in quotes like that duh. It's worth watching. I think anyway. I still seem to be not quite conscious. Wait, did I miss the part of Sarah Palin's resume where she was a CEO? Or are they just talking about the thriving if imaginary enterprise that was "Rouge Cou"?

Email from my brother:

i had a nightmare last night that "terrorists" assassinated joe biden, and john mccain and sarah palin were promising the country they would bring the real killers to justice and everyone was talking about how presidential they were and then i woke up and wanted to jump out the window. i need to get out of this city.

MEGAN: I just had dreams that I was pruning houseplants but kept pruning the wrong branches and leaving the dead ones and taking the live ones. Your brother has strange dreams,

Also, I think her "executive" experience is as in "executive branch." Because she was a mayor, see?

MOE: And about an hour and a half later I get a little email from the Obama campaign subheaded "Join Me." Message from my brother: "AHHHHHHHH look at what sarah palin made me do!!!"
Yeah but they're making signs that say "CEO".

MEGAN: Oh, well, then people are just fucking stupid. Big surprise. Anyway, here's a good link to that video. Anna was just like, what the fuck is that?

Oh, God, I sort of completely love the Enquirer's editor's OpEd in the Wall Street Journal on what is fair game.

MOE: Ha!

In this fractious environment, politics has made for more than strange bedfellows. Witness Mr. McCain greeting Levi Johnston and quickly becoming buddies with the 18-year-old hockey player who impregnated the daughter of his running mate.
Mr. McCain presumably did not have a copy in his pocket of the recently adopted platform of the Republican Party, which contained within its instructive gospel of morality and values: "We renew our call for replacing 'family planning' programs for teens with increased funding for abstinence education, which teaches abstinence until marriage as the responsible and expected standard of behavior. . . . We oppose school-based clinics that provide referrals, counseling, and related services for abortion and contraception."

MEGAN:

I've heard that [Sarah Palin] shoots wolves from helicopters. I've seen a video of her firing a rifle, and she looks like she handles it well. All of this leads me to the conclusion that Levi Johnston is either the bravest or stupidest teenager in Alaska.

I snorted laughing at that one, and not just because my Dad used to ask my high school dates if they wanted to inspect his shotgun collection. My dad, by the way, doesn't own guns. Also, I liked this part of it:

The mainstream media would like to believe it has evolved from the era of William Randolph Hearst — he of the infamous proclamation, "you furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war." Yet, when a Republican VP nominee showed up with a pregnant teenage daughter, the mainstream media's superego disappeared faster than Dan Quayle at a spelling bee.

He even rags on the stupidity of George Bush!

The two-newspaper city, once a staple of every metropolis, is already as rare as a grammatically correct sentence from George Bush.

Do you think this guy would come drinking with us some time? He sounds like one of the more fun EICs to drink with.

MOE: Um what is this "getdrunkandvote4mccain" thing? Also: what is Ann Coulter's problem with getting tough on Pakistan? They are Muslims with nukes who sponsor the Taliban and just bombed the Indian embassy. Do you just hate America Ann Coulter? Oh wait yes she does.

MEGAN: Ann must not have read that Bush is already bombing the shit out of Pakistan.

MOE: Can you tell me something? Do we know what is being built at Ground Zero? And how much money has been wasted getting to this point?

MEGAN: Three office towers, the stupidly-named Freedom Tower, a memorial and a transit hub. And millions upon millions wasted.

MOE: Dude this headline/byline combination: unintentionally hilarious or intentionally so?

MEGAN: I'm going to say: unintentionally hilarious. Because I'm sure Ms. Lynn Forester de Rothschild would consider herself a child of privilege, not an elitist.

MOE: Ugh I'm still not quite awake, but I love how Politico is all this reminder of John McCain's principled stand against the unconscionable wastefulness of the military industrial complex could "boost" McCain. Um, yeah sure that is what people care about right now.

MEGAN: I think there are probably 4 people in all of America who really care about that tanker deal and they were all voting for John McCain anyway.

MOE: Oh come on I care(d) about it. Anyway, egg sandwich. I give up.

MEGAN: It's that kind of Thursday.

OKAY, SO PERHAPS THE PREDICTED DEATH OF COLOUR FOR THE SPRING 08 MAKEUP PALLETTE WAS JUST A TINY BIT PREMATURE. BUT THEN, BABY PHAT ALWAYS BREAKS ALL THE RULES. FOR KIMORA LEE SIMMONS' COLLECTION MAKEUP ARTIST LISA BUTLER SED FUSCIA LIKE GEORGIO ARMANI USES 'GREIGE'....FOR J. MENDEL, CHARLOTTE TILBURY EVOKED THAT SEVENTIES GLAMAZON — AND A JERRY HALL FEELING - IN THE MAKEUP. LAST SPRING'S WORDS LIKE "FRESH" AND "PRETTY" HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY "DIVA" AND "EXPENSIVE AND GLAMOUROUS."

Looking back, the best and worst thing about September 11 was that it so disproportionately affected that tiny crop of New Yorkers upon whom Sex & The City was based. It's weird to think now that an exploding plane also killed a lot of Pentagon bureaucrats in Arlington, Virginia and another crashed in Pennsylvania thanks to the help of those heroic passengers they did that movie and all those country songs about. Because the day remains so thoroughly, mythically New Yorky, and if it had, say, gone down in a poorer, less hopped-up-on-its own sense of self-importance type of city, the flood of money/resources/energy/pride that galvanized everyone and restored normalcy/dynamism/unaffordable rent so soon after history's biggest terrorist attack would not have come together. Fashion Week would have relocated itself to Las Vegas, like all the other trade shows, or perhaps another city competing for conventions; New Orleans comes to mind. The same pointed sense of (notice-my) superiority once manifested by those 110-story towers ... gets a lot of shit done in this crazy world. Like Fashion Week! You see where I'm going with this.

But it is September 11, and I am determined to leave you with something more uplifting than "The Marc Jacobs show last night started two hours late, probably because he wanted it to run till September 11 so you'd NEVER FORGET, Ha ha!" And so, as opposed to dwelling on, say, the earning power based formula by which the federally appointed 9/11 compensation chief doled out funds to victims' families, or the resultant controversy when all those rich bond traders' widows in Tenafly complained that their disproportionately large sum of the money was not disproportionately large enough, let's qremember Flight 93, and the fact that there are times in life when ordinary people realize that they can use their ordinary lives to save those of other ordinary people, and they follow through on that.
q