I'm ambivalent about documentaries like Gotta Dance and Young at Heart because, while they're inspiring and the stories are great to see, they often seem to play their protagonists' age for maximum cuteness. I like "Advanced Style" but wonder why we ghetto-ize it. I wish, more than anything, that we had a relationship with our elderly in which they were integrated into our lives and our cultures and our homes rather than whipped out for an "aww" and then brushed out of sight again.

We like feel-good stories, and things that end in death aren't happy. It's happy if a young person can learn valuable lessons first, but without a Harold or a Mitch Albom, it's simply depressing. (Rant over, as we say.) This NY Times piece about the regular talent shows at the Bronx's James Monroe Senior Center is wonderful, and it is heartwarming: but reading it, I couldn't help wondering if it's as moving as it is because people are doing something wonderful in the face of indifference. Of course older people can sing, dance, play instruments, enjoy socializing and performing. Why isn't this a standard feature in a city where babies take pre-verbal French classes and learn to make sushi on weekends?

In fact, Senior Services have been hit hard by budget cuts, and Senior Centers around New York and the country are closing or in danger of closure - largely because such services often fall under "discretionary" budget designations, and are not legally mandated. 1 in 8 Americans is over 65. And, yes, volunteers are needed. I've wanted to write about this for a while, especially as I've seen the organizations with whom I work get their budgets slashed, but it's tricky because I feel like the done thing is to present Life-Changing-Stories, and for the most part, that's not what it's like. As anyone who's done much volunteer work knows, it doesn't make you feel automatically terrific; if you deliver meals or do friendly visits or weekly phone calls to home-bound seniors, you become acutely aware of how very little time it is, how much yawns between visits with no companionship. But it's more important than ever, and for those with time to spare, a great thing to do. Maybe people will be wise; maybe they'll even be cute. They're people and come in a wide range of types and personalities. We've heard a lot about the depression-ready wisdom of the Greatest Generation and, yes, I daresay some people have some good tips (everyone I know grew up in New York, and the stories tend more towards watered-down condensed milk than home-canning.) but that's not why it's important just now.

*Volunteer opportunities vary from place to place; sites like this can hook you up in your area, and Meals on Wheels and the Little Brothers can also direct you, if they're not active where you live.

Glee! The Retirees' Talent Show [NY Times]

1.) Behind the Music: Bobby Brown



Despite the fact that Whitney's comeback album and big interview on Oprah is what's renewed the public's interest in Bobby Brown, none of that was mentioned. In fact, when he did speak of Whitney, he wasn't exactly diplomatic.

They were both fucked up during that marriage. After getting addicted to cocaine and heroin, Bobby says that he doesn't remember an entire five-year block of time.

2.) Seth MacFarlane dropped the F-bomb live on E!'s Emmys red carpet show.
And the censors were too slow on the uptake to bleep it.

3.) Michael Jackson's illegitimate sister's first-ever TV interview
Joh'Vonnie Jackson, 31, is Joe Jackson's lovechild who was evidently always known about and even invited to a family reunion at Neverland.

4.) In other fucked-up showbiz family news
While on Oprah on Wednesday, Mackenzie Phillips thought this anecdote about Mick Jagger would lighten the mood set by her incest bombshell, but the audience was too freaked out.

5.) Synergy of #3 and #4
The Insider presents Mack and Mike, together, singing a song about addiction…to junk food.

6.) Lara Spencer's spot gets blown up.

7.) Language arts with The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Alternate way of saying "tardy for the party":

Alternate way of saying "STFU":

Alternate way of saying "vagina":

8.) Wendy Williams sucks at American history.

9.) Khloe Kardashian ponders one of life's big questions.

10.) Senior citizens in a strip club
A strip club in Florida offers senior citizens free flu shots and a buffet lunch.

Free food, meds and tits? This guy is probably wondering if he died already, 'cause he's in heaven.

[Tokyo, September 21. Image via Getty]

Elderly people work out with wooden dumb-bells in the grounds of a temple in Tokyo on September 21, 2009 to celebrate Japan's Respect-for-the-Aged-Day. The number of elderly people in Japan has hit a record high this year, with one in every four women aged 65 or older. The ratio of elderly people among women came to 25.4 percent, topping 25 percent for the first time, while the ratio for men was 19.9 percent. AFP PHOTO / Yoshikazu TSUNO (Photo credit should read YOSHIKAZU TSUNO/AFP/Getty Images)

20.) Bobby Brown Farts On Carnie Wilson, Pees On Dee Snider
Bobby Brown took a half-hearted stab at earning a pay check and having a country music career via the reality show Gone Country, in which he lived with other out-of-work celebs down South and competed for a record contract. In this clip, he gets drunk, eats ribs, farts and pees.

19.) Teen Bathes, Then Bonds With Senior Citizen
Baby Borrowers was a social experiment in the form of a reality show that was supposed to teach teenagers how hard it is to raise a family and run a household. For some reason, one of the episodes called for the teens to care for senior citizens, maybe to scare them off of the burden of dealing with elderly parents later on down the road. In this clip, a teen has to bathe her senior ward, and then they have a touching conversation about the generational differences of filing nails square or rounded.

18.) Meet The Two Most Effective Forms Of Birth Control
Some episodes of Supernanny are scarier than horror movies. In this clip, two little terrors defiantly pick their noses and wipe the boogers on a wall, physically abuse their mother and say terrifying things like, "I have a dick and a weenie in my weenie," and "I'm gonna fuck you in your privates one day!"

17.) Vagina Insults Are The New "Ya Momma"
MTV's That's Amore — the spin-off of Shot at Love with Tila Tequila — featured women who incessantly talked about other women's vaginas.

16.) American Idol Contestant Who Looks Like Willem Dafoe With Face Glitter
Alexis Cohen was one of those "bad" auditions featured during the open-call leg of American Idol. They're always easy targets, but her working knowledge of the English language and her literal glittery attempt at polishing a turd made her the best of the worst.

15.) Stage Mom Has Violent, Psychotic Outburst
Rocky, stage mother to Haley, from VH1's I Know My Kid's a star first won our hearts when she asked her daughter if her tampon string was visibly hanging below her miniskirt. This freak out sealed the deal.

14.) Woman With A Half Wig Cries About It
Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta attracted attention and confusion over her hair — an obvious wig that did not match the color of the natural bangs in the front. Her attempt at clearing the matter up (she had cancer!) only confused everyone more (wait, she only thought she had cancer!).

13.) Pussylicious
The reality show in which women compete for a spot (that's actually never given to them) in the the Pussycat Dolls lineup was called Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious, which obviously needed to be shortened to "pussylicious." Especially after one girl's introduction included her saying, "I'm Cassandra. I'm from Aurora, Illinois, I live in Chicago now, and I have a tattoo of cherries on my hoo-ha." Later, another girl gets injured and is forced to dance in her wheelchair.

12.) Women Past Their Prime Audition For Modeling Competition
She's Got the Look was supposed to be America's Next Top Model for the over-35 set. In this clip its obvious that there were reasons beyond their age that have kept these women from working the runway.

11.) Corey Haim Doesn't Understand Why Everyone He Knows Wants Him To Go To Rehab
It's always ridiculous/sad when addicts who can't fully open their eyes or articulate words think that they are fooling everyone. It's double ridiculous when it's someone like Corey Haim who has had a long public history of drug addiction.

10.) Is This Lady's Husband Gay?
Alex and her husband Simon were the breakout stars of Real Housewives of New York. They were attached at the hip, obsessed with teaching their uncooperative children French, and dropped $20k on opera tickets even though their Brooklyn brownstone was literally falling apart. But the question on everyone's mind was whether or not Speedo-wearing Simon is gay or just simply European.

9.) Women Get Wasted, Puke, Break Dishes, & Hock Loogies
This scene from Charm School: Rock of Love was the most entertaining display of drunken behavior since Bret took the girls to Vegas on season one.

8.) Stripper Mom And Porn Star Have Threesome With Dude, While Another Girl Mistakes Couch For Toilet
Scratch that! This is the was the most entertaining display of drunken behavior, brought to us by those classy roommates of Bad Girls Club.

7.) Flavor Flav Draws The Line At Herpes
As though he doesn't have the virus himself.

6.) The Matchmaker & The Mafia
Intervention is supposed to be a poignant, serious show about addiction, however, some of the characters — like this Italian woman who comes from a family who is part of "The Family" — make us smile.

5.) Denise Richards Calls A Celebrity Journalist A Cunt
As much as Denise Richards: It's Complicated sucked, it was fun to see the real reason behind why the tabloids are so hard on her.

4.) Brooke Hogan Is A Sexist Moron
The irony of her show being titled Brooke Knows Best escaped no one. In this clip, she reveals that her thoughts on politics, and how women's menstrual cycles makes them unfit to serve as President.

3.) America's Next Top Model Is A Menstrual Show
Per Tyra Banks' advice, women should bend over and wince in pain, as though they have menstrual cramps, in order to look "editorial."

2.) Terrifying Texas Mom Shows "Pansy" Husband Who's Boss
Wife Swap is a reliable source when looking to investigate the weirdos of America.

1.) Bikini Corie
The best elimination speech in competition-based reality TV programming ever, courtesy of Paris Hilton's My New BFF.

Her son, now 61, was raised mostly by his grandparents. He says he understands his mother, though: "I realized she was very good at what she does and had fun doing it." Ms. Payne, who is currently serving time in Colorado, will be 81 by the time she gets out. She doesn't like jail ("I could kill myself in here," she says) but she doesn't seem to have regrets, either. "I had lots of fun," Ms. Payne says. "I did."

Too Elegant To Be A Jewelry Thief [LA Times]

Reuters reports: "Three of every 10 women were worried about their economic security, compared with two of every 10 men," according to a study funded by the Rockefeller Foundation and analyzed by the Institute for Women's Policy Research. "Two-thirds of women fear they are not saving enough for retirement, but only half of men share this concern." (Not surprisingly, single mothers and women of color are most likely to be anxious about their ability to pay bills; 48 percent of African-American women have had trouble getting their bills paid, compared to 42% of Hispanic women and 26% of white women.) Perhaps those who are late acquiring Mother's Day presents should take advice from UPI and forgo the flowers in favor of putting some hard cash in mom's IRA?

Caring For Family Can Make Women Poor [UPI]
U.S. Economic Anxiety Hits Women Harder: Study [Reuters]

In his closing arguments, Los Angeles D.A. Bobby Grace said, "They didn't need this money. They weren't poor and destitute. They went out of their way to target men who had nothing." (Golay is a former real estate agent, while Rutterschmidt used to own a local coffee shop with her husband.) Rutterschmidt's lawyers tried to paint her as a "simple minded" woman whom Golay took advantage of and, in a last ditch effort to save his client from jail, Golay's lawyer tried to blame one of the hit and runs on her daughter, Kecia.

Best of all, the jury was shown a video of the two women in a holding cell just after they had initially been arrested. Golay and Rutterschmidt turned on each other almost immediately. "It's your fault," Rutterschmidt told
Golay, according to CNN. "You can't have that many insurances. ... You were greedy. That's the problem." Hmmm, she doesn't sound that "simple minded to me!"

Woman Convicted Of Murder In Homeless Men's Deaths [Los Angeles Times]
Women Convicted In Murder-For-Profit Case [CNN]

Earlier: The Meanest Girls At School Are Often The Most Popular