• Retailers are crossing their fingers that you will buy some shit on Friday. Pretty please? Sam's Club is opening at 5a.m. — with complimentary breakfast. Target and J.C. Penney open at 4 a.m., with the latter offering 300+ "doorbusters." [WWD]

• One of the perks of having an international supermodel for a girlfriend must be that you get to cast her in ads for your funny Moscow apartment development. Naomi Campbell's performance here seems more dutiful than inspired, however. [Copyranter]

• Mariah Carey is launching an accessories line on HSN in November. Expect her to be hawking shoes, jewelry, and "a limited edition version of her Luscious Pink fragrance, with a butterfly-cap bottle and a personal note from the songstress." [WWD]

• Someone at Selfridges has a terrible eye. After suspending an Alexander McQueen dress from what looked like a hangman's noose, the U.K. department store chain Tweeted a non-apology-apology saying any offense caused was unintentional. The display has been removed. [CocoPerez]

• Cristiano Ronaldo lends his abs to an Armani campaign. Excellent timing. [TLF]
• So. Gisele Bündchen just after she had a baby looks just like Gisele Bündchen when she'd never had a baby. [Vogue UK]

• Jennifer Aniston probably looks forlorn in her fragrance ad because she doesn't have a husband. She calls Lolavie a "nonperfume perfume" and says making it, "I felt like a little chemist." But all we hear is: Babies. Babies. Babies. [WWD]

• David Beckham got Victoria something truly special for Valentine's Day: a pair of flat shoes, albeit from Lanvin. "I have discovered I can walk very quickly when I'm not wearing silly shoes," she said. [WWD]

[London, December 8. Image via Getty]

[London, November 2. Image via Getty]

Mischa Barton finally launched her long awaited line of hipster headbands. They will retail for a totally reasonable £60-£120. Who doesn't want to pay over $100 for a piece of Barton-branded string? [WWD, Beauty Confessional]

• Sofia Coppola debuts her line of "sure, why not?" accessories for Louis Vuitton in Tokyo. The luxe line is made up of "slouchy duffle bags, discreet clutches and retro wedge sandals." [WWD]
• Speaking of qualified designers, Posh's dress line is a hit in London! "The presence of her name on the shop floor alongside such…

• The facts speak for themselves: Heidi Klum is designing a capsule collection for Jordache, for which she has been modeling over the past year. Think she'll offer hair extensions to cover nipples as well? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Kathy Hilton just released her own perfume. It's called "My Secret." We don't really want to think…

[London,December 28. Image via INF]

• No joke, we actually snorted when reading this: Levi's is doing a line (see what we did there?) with artist Damien Hirst for a brand called Warhol Factory X Levi's X Damien Hirst, which will debut during New York Fashion Week. Um, they do know this is the same guy who likes to, you know, encrust human skulls with…