I tend to think that everyone's reasons are different which is why this is a difficult subject.
I had a (I would term mild) SI tendency between the ages of 15 and 24 in that whenever I had done something that I was unhappy about or regretted or whenever something I felt unable to cope with occured I would cut my arms.
However, my scars while multiple are light, the point to my SI was always to feel pain and see the blood, to almost drive home to myself that my situations were not as bad as they could be.
I have no real idea why I did this or why I stopped, it was done in private, no one bar one boyfriend who (understandably) freaked out when he woke up to find me bleeding ever knew about it and I had a loving and happy family upbringing.
The only thing I could say about it was that I had so much emotion at times and it seemed so huge that I had no idea how to control it and SI gave it some form of release.
i started cutting myself around the time i felt strongly suicidal~~ i was 36 years old. i went as far as trying to get a license for a gun so i could shoot myself. i'd cut up the inside of my palms to try and make real the pain i felt inside which had no visible manifestation. it started out of nowhere, and i haven't done it now in years. and goddam i hope i never find myself in that place again.
I really loved sewing the skin (callous) on my fingers together as a child -- mostly because I was fascinated that it worked and didn't hurt and it freaked other people out.
Since Borderline Personality Disorder has been mentioned a lot as a frequent cause of cutting, it's worth mentioning that many people think BPD is just complex PTSD.
The reason complex PTSD is different is that it is a reaction to trauma, as opposed to an 'organic' pathology. At least in my case, it proved to be true. All my BPD/cPTSD symptoms abated and disappeared after intense analysis of the trauma.
@Pleasure: Yeah but there are plenty of people with BPD without trauma histories. The issues with self-image, attachment, etc, developed on their own, or were the result of failure to develop.
Cutting isn't always bad (and no, you don't need to put me on suicide watch).
I used to cut, and still fantasize about hurting myself sometimes. Non of the cutting was really putting me at risk, always superficial, always clean, always discreet.
I know exactly why I cut - and know others who did similar things for similar reasons - I was in enormous emotional pain. For me it was a way of managing the pain I felt from my dad's sexual abuse. I also binged. That was another way. But I didn't do a lot of the other things people with my background do (drugs, alcohol, exploitative sexual relationships)and am doing really well today, so I think it worked for me as a survival mechanism.
I think there needs to be a differentiation between biologically triggered and emotionally triggered. It's important for treatment too - for years I got various pills for depression, assuming so chemical imbalance. Only lately, when I started delving into my past, did I get off the pills. I don't need them, and they didn't address the root problem.
@Pleasure: I thought that way....for years. I still do to a certain extent. It's necessary, and I'm not out to kill myself. But I ended up in the hospital with a pretty deep gash so I decided to stop.
I think the trouble with classifying behaviors into smaller and increasingly specific classifications of disorders is that then people suffering from any type of self-harm might be less likely to identify with one another's common struggles?
I say this as someone in recovery who finds a lot of support and comfort in identifying with people who abuse other substances or seek to escape similar emotional situations - whatever your drug/harm of choice... recovery is recovery and support from peers is imperative.
@Mkp-hearts-NYC: That's a good point. The DSM folks are trying to find the "best" classifications, i.e., those that are the best combination of specific and inclusive. And of course they're trying to deal with outside pressure from special-interest groups who (understandably) want more "official" recognition for their individual disorders.
It's a tough job, making these DSM decisions -- I certainly don't envy their positions.
As someone who has a sister who used to cut, I have to say I'm a bit confused as to why people cut or if it's a large part of a mental disorder.
The reason being is because I have suffered from serious mental disorders in the past and even until this day but I have never cut or harmed myself in any way and definately not self-embedded objects into my body. My sister has never been diagnosed with any mental disorders yet she still cut herself. She no longer does it and I don't know if she hides any signs of mental disorder but from looking at her you couldn't tell she had issues or cut.
She has always been an outgoing girl, happy, or at least it looks that way.
That's why it's so hard to categorize self harm and even harder to treat a patient who does and help them stop cutting. One thing is for sure and that is that cutting is not normal and there is something mentally wrong going on inside a person's head.
@SurrealKiller: Just because your sister looked happy doesn't mean she was or is. Unless you actually talk to her, rather than speculate about her, you will never know.
And it's pretty dumb to assume that anyone is saying all depressed/axious/ocd/autistic/what have you people self-injure. That's not the case, though it creates a convenient strawman for you to anecdotally slay.
My ex boyfriend told a cuttter that all cutters are emo, and therefore should commit suicide. He pretty much started a lynchmob of mutual friends over that. I think about that comment, and thank the Lord I'm not with him any more, because if someone can be that insensitive to someone with some form of mental distress, he's not a keeper in a relatiosnhip.
@PromQueen: Knowing him as I did, I imagine the subtext of that comments was 'cutters are shit people', which makes me extremely stabby. In most situations he was sensitive to peoples feelings, but on this he was pig headed, and I tried to educate him on mentla illness, but no such luck.
For me, cutting arose as another extension of my eating disorder, another way to inflict harm upon my "faulty" body (I tend to harm the areas that I feel are the most fatty and grotesque). I don't think my ED and SI would have existed without my trauma and depression but they both each needed specialized treatment. I do worry that seeing this as just a symptom like any other and expecting a pill or a therapy session or two to change the behavior won't get anywhere. Behavioral treatment was what I needed to, if not stop SI entirely, at least get it under more control than it had been.
@sarah.of.a.lesser.god (and the ovumlord of the rings): The mental health hospital right now treats it as a symptom and its own issue at the same time. The kids who self-injure that we see almost always have another diagnosis as a co-primary diagnosis, and the self-injury is understood to be a factor of this second diagnosis (usually depression or anxiety), but also needing treatment on its own. We have to help the patients learn new coping skills to replace the SI--you can't just give it up without having something to replace it--while simultaneously helping them with their other issues.
I would generally tend to think it's part of a larger problem. there is something else going on if you are embedding things into your skin and/or cutting. i think there's a very interesting parallel between eating disorders and self injury. there's the DSM criteria that you must have lost 15% of your body weight or whatever, but it's almost always a symptom of something much larger. one of the most important things anyone ever told me was that if I took care of the depression, the eating disorders and sleeping problems would go away too...and for the most part that has proven to be very, very true. this is just my experience, of course, and I know it's different for everyone...
I really don't think most SI-ers do what they do to cope with stress. Stress might trigger some feelings that lead to it, but it's not the direct catalyst.
@Penny Plastic (Archetype): That doesn't necessarily mean that SI isn't symptomatic of something; it's clearly a...I guess a non-optimal behavioral response, but is it just a learned and subsequently ingrained response to stressors, or is it that particular underlying psychological disorders result this particular kind of a response to stress?
@braak: It's totally symptomatic of larger issues. I just think it needs to be clarified that "stress" in the sense that most people think about it, isn't really the main issue, it just makes it....flare up.
Also, this is a pertinent question: can a thing be both a disorder and symptomatic? I feel like in the medical community this kind of thing is okay--like, hypertension is a blood pressure dysfunction, but it's not a causal dysfunction, it's a symptomatic one.
Does getting listed as a disorder in the DSM imply that something is a root cause, rather than a symptomatic dysfunction?
@braak: Honsetly, I have no clue. The DSM might as well be printed in Hebrew. I guess I can't form a solid opinion on this until I really understand how it changes things. For example, is it just a recognition that it's a REAL problem and will not get more research funding? Then, by all means, call it a disorder.
Co-morbidity is incredibly common so in that sense, I think it might be useful to label it a disorder.
Really though, I have no idea. And now my head hurts.
@Pleasure: That's exactly my point and why I don't like the statement that SI happens because of "stress." Perhaps "stressors." Too many people think stress = a tough day at the office, or something.
@Pleasure: Conditions of negative emotional response, of varying intensity, and generally precipitated by external events or circumstances (i.e., "stressors").
@braak: "I feel like in the medical community this kind of thing is okay--like, hypertension is a blood pressure dysfunction, but it's not a causal dysfunction, it's a symptomatic one."
Just FYI, hypertension is split up into two categories: Primary and Secondary Hypertension. Primary is idiopathic, meaning, it's just stand-alone hypertension and nothing's really causing it. It just is. Secondary is secondary to something else, it has a cause, therefore, it's a symptom of a disease process. So, bad example.
@I am Mrs. Nerdtastic.: No, it remains a good example. The point is that a thing can be a disorder, and can also be qualified as being symptomatic or not symptomatic (i.e., primary or secondary). The fact that a case of hypertension is secondary doesn't make it not hypertension, and doesn't make hypertension any less of a dysfunction.
@Pleasure: Trauma--emotional, physical, or otherwise--is a (very high) degree of stress.
I used to cut to deal with the extreme stress that came from being abused. I'm not sure how silly I was at the time, but the diagnosis (from the abuser) was that I was a "fucking asshole".
12/30/08
I had a (I would term mild) SI tendency between the ages of 15 and 24 in that whenever I had done something that I was unhappy about or regretted or whenever something I felt unable to cope with occured I would cut my arms.
However, my scars while multiple are light, the point to my SI was always to feel pain and see the blood, to almost drive home to myself that my situations were not as bad as they could be.
I have no real idea why I did this or why I stopped, it was done in private, no one bar one boyfriend who (understandably) freaked out when he woke up to find me bleeding ever knew about it and I had a loving and happy family upbringing.
The only thing I could say about it was that I had so much emotion at times and it seemed so huge that I had no idea how to control it and SI gave it some form of release.
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Self-industry?
I'm pretty damned industrious.
However, I haven't injured myself in three months (go me!)
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The reason complex PTSD is different is that it is a reaction to trauma, as opposed to an 'organic' pathology. At least in my case, it proved to be true. All my BPD/cPTSD symptoms abated and disappeared after intense analysis of the trauma.
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I used to cut, and still fantasize about hurting myself sometimes. Non of the cutting was really putting me at risk, always superficial, always clean, always discreet.
I know exactly why I cut - and know others who did similar things for similar reasons - I was in enormous emotional pain. For me it was a way of managing the pain I felt from my dad's sexual abuse. I also binged. That was another way. But I didn't do a lot of the other things people with my background do (drugs, alcohol, exploitative sexual relationships)and am doing really well today, so I think it worked for me as a survival mechanism.
I think there needs to be a differentiation between biologically triggered and emotionally triggered. It's important for treatment too - for years I got various pills for depression, assuming so chemical imbalance. Only lately, when I started delving into my past, did I get off the pills. I don't need them, and they didn't address the root problem.
12/30/08
12/30/08
I say this as someone in recovery who finds a lot of support and comfort in identifying with people who abuse other substances or seek to escape similar emotional situations - whatever your drug/harm of choice... recovery is recovery and support from peers is imperative.
12/30/08
It's a tough job, making these DSM decisions -- I certainly don't envy their positions.
12/30/08
The reason being is because I have suffered from serious mental disorders in the past and even until this day but I have never cut or harmed myself in any way and definately not self-embedded objects into my body. My sister has never been diagnosed with any mental disorders yet she still cut herself. She no longer does it and I don't know if she hides any signs of mental disorder but from looking at her you couldn't tell she had issues or cut.
She has always been an outgoing girl, happy, or at least it looks that way.
That's why it's so hard to categorize self harm and even harder to treat a patient who does and help them stop cutting. One thing is for sure and that is that cutting is not normal and there is something mentally wrong going on inside a person's head.
12/30/08
And it's pretty dumb to assume that anyone is saying all depressed/axious/ocd/autistic/what have you people self-injure. That's not the case, though it creates a convenient strawman for you to anecdotally slay.
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Also, this is a pertinent question: can a thing be both a disorder and symptomatic? I feel like in the medical community this kind of thing is okay--like, hypertension is a blood pressure dysfunction, but it's not a causal dysfunction, it's a symptomatic one.
Does getting listed as a disorder in the DSM imply that something is a root cause, rather than a symptomatic dysfunction?
12/30/08
Co-morbidity is incredibly common so in that sense, I think it might be useful to label it a disorder.
Really though, I have no idea. And now my head hurts.
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Just FYI, hypertension is split up into two categories: Primary and Secondary Hypertension. Primary is idiopathic, meaning, it's just stand-alone hypertension and nothing's really causing it. It just is. Secondary is secondary to something else, it has a cause, therefore, it's a symptom of a disease process. So, bad example.
12/30/08
@Pleasure: Trauma--emotional, physical, or otherwise--is a (very high) degree of stress.
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