(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich and I answer questions about self-defense, moles, and Mexico. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. Or to Twitter.

P.S. We are totally serious about the Tattoo Challenge. If someone gets a tattoo of us, we will fly them to NYC (within the continental U.S.) and put them up for two nights.

"Can I Use My Old Vibrator With My New Partner?" from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

The law was inspired by a case in Michigan where a woman killed her partner after he began punching her belly to try to force a miscarriage. She was charged with and convicted of manslaughter, and she miscarried the quadruplets she was carrying. Prosecutors in that case argued successfully that since the woman was herself in no immediate physical danger, the right to self-defense did not extend to her unborn children.

The new law makes it clear that a woman can claim self-defense if she is being harmed in an effort to kill her unborn children — which is itself already a crime. Some people have e-mailed us worried that this is some sort of end-run around abortion law, or that it would allow fundamentalist pregnant women to kill abortion doctors. Neither is true, but we can go straight to the bill itself.

First off, as legislation tends to, it starts off with its purpose, to help the court determine legislative intent if there are any challenges to the law down the road.

The Legislature finds that:
1. Violence and abuse are often higher during pregnancy than during any other time in a woman's lifetime;
2. Women are more likely to suffer increased abuse as a result of unintended pregnancies;
3. Younger women are at a higher risk for pregnancy-associated homicide;
4. A pregnant or recently pregnant woman is more likely to be a victim of homicide than to die of any other cause;
5. Homicide and other violent crimes are the leading cause of death for women of reproductive age;
6. Husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends are often the perpetrators of pregnancy-associated homicide or violence;
7. Moreover, when husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends are involved, the violence is often directed at the unborn child and/or intended to end or jeopardize the pregnancy; and
8. Violence against a pregnant woman puts the life and bodily integrity of both the pregnant woman and the unborn child at risk.

Yeah, that's all: true, horrifying; and in need of correction.

Then, let's get to the idea that it defines an unborn child "as a person," which has a very specific meaning under the law. This doesn't qualify.

4. "Embryo" means a human embryo as defined in Section 1-728.1 of Title 63 of the Oklahoma Statutes;
5. "Pregnant" means the female reproductive condition of having an unborn child in the woman's body;
6. "Unborn child" means the offspring of human beings from conception until birth;

See? Nothing in there about it being a person under the law and given civil rights.

And, just for good measure, to the question of whether a woman could kill a doctor performing a legal and supposedly consensual abortion on her.

7. "Unlawful force" means force which is employed without the consent of the pregnant woman and which constitutes an offense under the criminal laws of this state or an actionable tort.

So, no, a fundamentalist couldn't fake-consent to an abortion to get away with killing an abortion provider.

Finally, here is what the law itself says:

A. A pregnant woman is justified in using force or deadly force against another to protect her unborn child if:
1. Under the circumstances as the pregnant woman reasonably believes them to be, she would be justified in using force or deadly force to protect herself against the unlawful force or unlawful deadly force she reasonably believes to be threatening her unborn child; and
2. She reasonably believes that her intervention and use of force or deadly force are immediately necessary to protect her unborn child.

Basically, the amended law would give a woman the right to defend her unborn child as she has to defend herself.

Furthermore, the right of self-defense doesn't apply to the following circumstances:

1. Acts committed by anyone other than the pregnant woman;

Meaning a father can't kill a doctor about to perform a consensual abortion either.

2. Acts where the pregnant woman would be obligated to retreat, to surrender the possession of a thing, or to comply with a demand before using force in self-defense. However, the pregnant woman is not obligated to retreat before using force or deadly force to protect her unborn child, unless she knows that she can thereby secure the complete safety of her unborn child; or

Basically, if you're getting mugged, you don't automatically have the right to kill the mugger just because you're pregnant. Also, it's a bad idea to try.

3. The defense of human embryos existing outside of a woman's body.

You can't rob a fertility clinic to get your frozen embryos back and claim self-defense.

All in all, it's a pretty damn good law that codifies something pretty reasonable: if a dude is punching a woman in the stomach to try to get her to miscarry, she can use potentially deadly force even if she's well aware that she won't die. Not every law on pregnancy that religious people support is bad.

Bill Lets Moms-To-Be Kill To Save Baby [KOCO Oklahoma City]
Use of Force for the Protection of the Unborn Act [Oklahoma Legislative Information Service]

The "Stiletto Spy School," which started as a week-long retreat in Vegas and now operates as a one-day empowerment workshop in New York, is about, as one of the instructors puts it, "empowerment and fantasy." Which part is which is hard to say: the class covers some basic self-defense, plus gouging out an enemy's eyeball, Texas hold 'em, and burlesque strip-tease - all taught by "top experts" in the respective fields. The attendees have come from near and far (okay, Boston and D.C.) for the Bond Girl treatment and according to the article's author, emerge suitably empowered and uninhibited. Pulling an 'Alias' don't come cheap, of course: at $395 a day, it's no wonder that a lot of these women regard the course as a special treat. And if poker, stripping and combat don't exactly add up to your idea of bliss, well, obviously plenty of women disagree.

The course did get us thinking, though, about the expensive day-long superhero courses we'd like to see: tap, confectionery and archery would be more to my taste. Or, say, millinery, target practice and throwing back a drink. If, on the other hand, anyone feels like ponying up for one-liners and bitch-slapping-an-insolent-lout 101, I'm available.
Stiletto Spy School is a day of female Bonding [NYDN]

ZZZap! Taser Parties Surging In Popularity [NBC News]

• The man convicted of killing Brandon Teena has recanted part of his confession and is now claiming he was the lone murderer. (Teena's story was the inspiration behind the 1999 film Boys Don't Cry, for which Hilary Swank won the Best Actress Oscar.) One thing kinda irks us about this news story: CNN insists on using his birth name "Teena Brandon" even though he lived and died as Brandon Teena. [CNN]
  
• That Planned Parenthood in Aurora, IL that was at risk of never opening because of some silly regulation violations? Well, a judge has ruled that the clinic will remain closed. As PP said after the ruling, "We wouldn't be here if this was a foot-care clinic." [Feministing]

• New York State has given the heave-ho to the abstinence-only education-funding the Bush Administration will not stop ramming down our throats. [NY Times]
• A judge in Kansas rejected State Attorney General Phil Kline's mission to require health care workers and counselors to report all underage sexual activity, including kissing. Seriously, dude, just read Penthouse Letters to get your rocks off, okay? [Ms. Magazine]
• Isn't the BBC supposed to be of higher quality than the junk we watch on American TV? The news network has decreed that only good-looking women will be reading the bite-sized news bits aimed at their younger audience. [Daily Mail]
• Donald Trump has hired Miss Teen South Carolina to model for Trump Model Management at a rate of $25,000 a day. Because everyone knows that there's nothing prettier than an empty brain cavity. [WorldNetDaily]

The new C2, as the weapon is called, looks more like a large disposable razor than a gun, comes in a variety of colors and is $350, all of which Taser executives believe will persuade women to add the weapon to their checklist for the evening: lipstick, wallet, keys, Taser.

Interestingly, however, it was a woman who, way back in the early '90s, inspired the creation of the Taser in the first place (they do say that behind every great man is a great woman).

Tom Smith, a founder of Taser International, said he and his brother heard their mother say that she worried about protecting herself. She tried a stun gun, Mr. Smith said over sandwiches in his desert office compound here, but it has to be pressed against its target. "She said, 'This isn't something I am comfortable with.' She had pepper spray, and she sprayed herself in the face. She ended up buying a Doberman.

Feeling Secure With A Little Shocking Pink [NYTimes]
Related: Cease And Desist — The Pink Hats Have Got To Go [Batgirl]
Earlier: Girls Who Like Girls Who Like Guns
Real-Life Barbie Dolls Get Their Own Airline
How To Drive In High Heels

1. Don't scream "help!" If history is any indication, it doesn't so much work for chicks. Instead, try "Fire!" or maybe "Larceny!" People hate it when their property is endangered.

2. Fingernails: Always helpful for gouging eyes, tearing testicular tissue. Not that we'd know!

3. As recent events have illustrated, sometimes privileged, well-adjusted athletic fraternity men do not actually have a deep-seated desire to attack you. However: we went to high school with this kid, so we're staying away anyway!

4. Rapex

5. Avoid men with goatees.

6. A gun collection might be a warning sign. And it's sorta not ACLU-friendly to point this out but there are things called video games, of which there is a subset called "first-person shooters," which, literally interpreted, means the person playing them wants to feel, in the "first-person" sense of the term, what it's like to... well anyway: maybe hang out with people who have better hobbies! Like ultimate fighting maybe!

7. If you met him cause he worked at the same fashion magazine, your biggest fear is prob that he's a little fruity, right? Because, how could he, like, stand to work there without going a little apeshit if he wasn't? Yeah, don't learn that lesson the hard way.

Protect Yourself From Surprise Attacks
Earlier: Warning! Severe Dick Damage!
Related: Kitty Genovese [Wikipedia]