• Lily Allen has spoken about her miscarriage, which she describes as "the worst time of my life." She says:

"I couldn't even compute the emotions going through my head, but I was having to put out a press release about my miscarriage... I had this public sympathy for about five days and then everyone was on my case again and I didn't know what was happening to me… I just didn't deal with it at all. I didn't even start beginning to deal with it until the baby's due date. Then it just hit me like a house collapsing. I have therapy on and off but at that time it really helped me. Then I started to deal with it and move on. I still get sad. I still think. I don't mark (what would have been) my baby's birth but it's always there. […] I've had really bad, unbelievably awful times, but if I hadn't had them I wouldn't get the happiness I've got now. I'm very grateful because I could have turned down a very different path. It could have been awful. It really could." [Mirror]

• Meanwhile, Lily Allen wants to stay with her boyfriend, Sam Cooper, "forever." She says: "We've never had one argument and there's absolutely nothing about him that annoys me. He's not impressed by what I do. I've been with guys and seen them looking in the mirror before they walk out of the door with me. That makes me feel sick because I know it's not just me they're interested in." [Mirror]
• Britney Spears doing "The Year In BS" is brilliant. Brilliant! [NY Mag]
• "K-Fed Loses Weight, Gains Movie Role." And by movie, we mean straight-to-DVD teen sex comedy. [Radar Online]
• Sarah Jessica Parker on her Sex And The City castmates: "We love each other. Could we spend more time together? If that existed in our lives, absolutely. Do I see Cynthia Nixon as much as I want to? Never. Kristin Davis or Kim Cattrall? Never. It's just not the way our lives work. I don't see my best friends as much as I want to. But it doesn't mean that there is any less affection." [Mirror]
• The Sex And The City ladies will be on the cover (covers) of Marie Claire — each posing separately, not together. [Gatecrasher]
• Jude Law's assistant, Ben Jackson, and Rachel McAdams: Something's up. [Gatecrasher]
• Reading the exchanges between Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin in this interview, it's obvious that they have a zingy kind of chemistry that will be fun when they host the Oscars. Alec calls it "a kind of Hannity & Colmes antagonism." [USA Today]
• Brittany Murphy's husband spoke with Access Hollywood on Monday. "My world was destroyed yesterday," he said. "I loved what Ashton [Kutcher] wrote on Twitter. It was comforting to me… I couldn't have said it better." He described what happened when Brittany was found and denied that she was surrounded by bad influences: "I don't know why anyone would think that. She found love. We found love. Brittany didn't get to where Brittany was with anyone controlling her… Brittany was Brittany." [Access Hollywood, People]
• Brittany Murphy's cause of death will not be known until toxicology results come back, which could take two months. [TMZ]
• At the link, a list of the prescription drugs found at Brittany Murphy's home — including Klonopin, Ativan, and Propranolol, taken for hypertension and used to prevent heart attacks. No illegal drugs were found. [TMZ]
• This paper calls the meds at Brittany Murphy's house "a staggering trove of powerful prescriptions." [NY Daily News]
• "Family Friend Of Brittany Murphy Says Husband Simon Monjack Is 'Not Good.'" [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Adrian Grenier banged his drum. [Page Six]
• Apparently there was a rumor that Katy Perry hooked up with Robert Pattinson; she tweeted: "Read a bunch of yesterdays-news — BULLOCKS. Ppl should know by now that I don't do vampires, but I do, DO @rustyrockets [Russell Brand]. Don't get it TWISTED!" [Us]
• Jon Gosselin tried to sell his car at a used car lot but couldn't get as much as he wanted. [TMZ]
• Reading about whether nude pictures of Tiger Woods do or do not exist makes my eyes glaze over. [Radar Online]
• This magazine swears that Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel have been having sex "since the scandal broke" and that her condo is 500 feet from where Tiger's boat was docked. [In Touch]
• Simon Cowell's brother, radio host Tony Cowell, says Simon will leave American Idol at the end of the next season. He'll be concentrating on bringing X Factor to the US. [NY Post]
• Kim Kardashian lies on a bed and seductively eats salad for her new Carl's Jr. commercial, which made my eyes roll so far back in my head they almost got stuck. [E!]
• In The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, there's a scene in which the character played by Johnny Depp — standing in for Heath Ledger — sees a stream full of floating images of people who died prematurely in their prime: James Dean, Princess Diana, Rudolph Valentino. And he talks about their godlike status as the forever young. "It's very weird," director Terry Gilliam says. "We didn't change anything, and I wasn't going to change anything. We had to deal with certain things just to get through it. But the dialogue wasn't going to change if possible. That was the film Heath and I were making, and that's the film we finished." [USA Today]
• Terry Gilliam, Johnny Depp and Robert Duvall are trying to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixote happen. At last. [UPI]
• Aw, it's super cute that Lisa Loeb has an eyewear collection. "Think sexy librarian, not retro grandma," she says. [People]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Jerry "Turtle" Ferrara: Splitsville. [Gatecrasher]
• Funny interview with Amy Poehler and Christina Applegate, who voice "Chipettes" in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. Here's a snippet:
  Q: Any similarities between you and your Chipmunk selves?
  Amy: I want to be a star! (laughter) Well, Christina is a good leader. She's a good front person and she's an excellent singer and dancer in real life.
  Christina: Thank you for answering that question.
  Amy: You're welcome. I would say that I am like Eleanor in that I'm the shortest. And like Eleanor, I do not enjoy wearing high heels. I don't walk very well in them. But Christina and I look like we could have a bit of Chipmunk in our DNA.
  Christina: I have really hairy arms.
  Amy: And we both sleep all winter (laughter). [Reuters]
• Get your Kleenex: Brody Jenner and Jayde Nicole have broken up. [Us]
• Bruce Willis is investing in Belvedere vodka. I am open to sponsorship by Bonbay Sapphire gin or any cheapo white zinfandel. What. [WSJ]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood dumped his girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova because she was cheating on him with a male model. As you may recall, Ronnie left his wife of 23 years when he met Ekaterina. [Daily Mail]
• Carrie Underwood is spoken for, as they say. This column notes that she wore "an eye-catching ring" at a hockey game on Monday night. [AP]
• Taylor Swift will perform and present at the Grammys. Obvs. [People]
• Beyoncé will perform at the Grammys. [ET]
• And Beyoncé's noodles are adorable. [WoW]
• Diane Sawyer started working the desk of the evening news on ABC now that Charles Gibson has retired. Did anyone watch? [AP]
• The Venice Film Festival has honored John Woo with a lifetime achievement award. Because those doves in Face/Off were genius! [AP]
• What's Christmas like at 50 Cent's house? He plays Santa Claus, buying presents… But he doesn't dress up as Santa. He also recommends that the reporter buy his wife underwear for Christmas. [Dazed Digital]
• Kristen Johnston will return to Ugly Betty, playing a aging party-girl and temp in a part originally written for Paula Abdul. "It was all, like, hot-flash jokes," says Johnston. "So I rewrote it." [NY Mag]
• Kim Peek, the man who inspired the Oscar-winning film Rain Man, has died. [AP]
• RIP Connie Hines, who played Carol Post on Mister Ed. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which lady who recently filed for divorce is trying to lure her husband to a Christmas reunion? Friends suspect she hopes to generate footage for a reality show." [Page Six]
• "While it was great that we were the 'First Couple' of porn, the fact is Tera hates the industry. She's not a sexual person. We barely had sex in our own marriage. She's desperate to break into the mainstream, and just wants to generate press. I didn't choose porn over her. Our marriage had a lot of holes in it, despite what she claims. I chose freedom." — Evan Seinfeld, Tera Patrick's ex-husband. [Page Six]
• "I've given up the Internet. I don't read comments, and I don't go on any of the sites anymore, and I just feel better. And it's not about being a celebrity - you get on MySpace, Facebook, there's all these different outlets where people can just feel like nobody's watching them so they can just say whatever they want to say… It gets dangerous sometimes." — Disney star Selena Gomez, to Seventeen. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've got to tell you. My disposition lies in rather populist entertainment. I'm not prejudiced in whether a film is low-budget, independent, or studio-oriented. I suppose the only thing I care about is whether you get some feeling, some sense of integrity from what it is you do. As long as that's not compromised extensively, then I think why should you care about where it comes from?" — Guy Ritchie on his big-budget film, Sherlock Holmes. [The Daily Beast]
• "If you ask me, I think she's all right. I think she's perfectly good. I just don't think people can get her persona out of the way." — Guy Ritchie on Madonna's acting. [The Daily Beast]
• "Yes, at this age it's unusual for somebody to do a love scene, to be making love… Yeah, that is unusual. But that is just how benighted we are. Because, you know, we still are alive. … It's authentic. The whole idea that you have to look a certain way and be a certain age to earn love is ridiculous." — It's Complicated star Meryl Streep, to the Times Of London. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I don't believe in having work done, because then everybody looks the same. [But] I should exercise more. Lose a couple of kilos." — Sophia Loren. [StarPulse]

• Jon Gosselin's having the worst week ever. Earlier, a judge ended his reality TV career and in his divorce from Kate Gosselin today, she got the house and most of the money, while he'll be making huge child support payments.

• An arbitrator decided Jon should pay five figures a month in child support and the $235,000 he withdrew from their joint account was deducted from his settlement (all of the money Kate withdrew really was spent on the kids). Maybe it's time to get a real job. [TMZ]
• "I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on the children," said Kate Gosselin in a statement. "On behalf of myself and my legal team, I want to express my deep appreciation to the Judge and his staff, as well as to the arbitrator, for resolving this case. This has been a challenging transition for all of us, but I am confident that we will move ahead with the important task of restructuring our lives." [Radar Online]
• Beyonce's mother Tina Knowles has filed for divorce from her husband Matthew Knowles. A paternity suit was recently filed against Matthew and the documents say they "ceased to live together as husband and wife on or about January 5, 2009," the day of their 30th wedding anniversary. [TMZ]
• Gisele Bundchen revealed that she and Tom Brady named their son Benjamin in a post to her fans on her website. She thanked them and wrote: "I am living a very special moment in my life, Benjamin is a blessing and I could not be happier." [People]
• The Wayans Brothers' former assistant is suing them because he claims they stole their literary masterpiece You Know You're A Golddigger from him. [AP]
• Gross: During a trip to Universal Studios, Michael Jackson's children spotted browsing near the Magnet Max store, which sells pictures of them mourning at their father's funeral for $1.99 each. [Radar Online]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna that Jermaine Jackson was organizing has been cancelled. They couldn't find anyone willing to perform in the show after acts including Mary J. Blige, Chris Brown, and Natalie Cole pulled out. [Reuters]
• Lily Allen was supposed to perform at the charity show Mencap's Big Noise Session on Saturday, but she cancelled because she has a "severe recurrent throat infection." [The Mirror]
• As Keira Knightley predicted, her debut on London's West End stage drew mixed reviews. [AFP]
• Jessica Simpson's extremely drunk makeup artist was arrested early this morning for disturbing the peace and sources say Jess went to the jail to bail her out, but police said the woman was still to drunk to be released. [TMZ]
• The YouTube channels on teen stars including Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, and the Jonas Brothers were hacked today so that the front page showed a black screen with a letter on it that collectively spelled out "fuck you." Miley Cyrus' page has the message "I hate Asian." [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods' mom Kultilda Woods is "hurt, angry and disappointed in Tiger. She wants to know how he could do this to his family.... She loves him and will support him through anything, but she needs some time to work through this... It was devastating to her. She likes Elin, and adores her grandchildren. She's worried about them. She doesn't want to see them hurt." [People]
• Thursday on The View, Elisabeth Hasselback asked Stanley Tucci if his wife, who died of cancer in May, had seen The Lovely Bones. She Tweeted today: "It was an honest mistake with stanley tucci today & i called him to apologize," she wrote. "He forgave me (such grace)- if only i could forgive myself..." [Radar Online]
• Rescue Me executive producer Peter Tolanbring says the show will bring back Maura Tierney, who had to leave the show after having surgery for breast cancer. He said her episodes will be shot in the spring, "so she can take care of herself and come back then." [People]
• Shane Sparks, one of the judges on the MTV show America's Best Dance Crew, has been arrested and charged with eight counts of child molestation. There is only one victim, a woman who says the "oral copulation and other acts" started in 1994 and continued for several years. Earlier this year Sparks co-star Alex Da Silva was charged with rape. [TMZ]
• Morrissey wrote on a fan site: "I am sorry that [his latest album] Swords was such a meek disaster. It was proposed and accepted as a budget-priced CD, yet emerged everywhere as the most expensive CD in the racks. It was poorly distributed and didn't stand a chance, and ranks as the lowest chart position I've ever encountered." [NME]
• Diddy says his 3-year-old twin girls are "Talking a lot more and they're very demanding... 'Sit down. Don't go anywhere, stay here, do this.' They give me a lot of orders. When they tell me to sit down, everything else gets put to the back burner." [People]
• Sophia Loren says of her famous quote, "Everything I am I owe to spaghetti," "It's not true! I never said it. 'I owe everything to the spaghetti?' It's not true. They put it in my mouth and it still goes on. It's not true. So silly. Can you imagine?" [CBS News]
• Emily Blunt says that while researching Queen Victoria for The Young Victoria, "The thing that shocked me was the required hand-holding down the stairs and Victoria's mother's sleeping in the same room as her daughter until she was 18. How suffocating that must have been, and not being allowed any friends or to read books - basically to be deprived of anything that could be inspiring or influential in any way." [WSJ]
• Sigourney Weaver says, "I changed my name when I was about twelve because I didn't like being called Sue or Susie. I felt I needed a longer name because I was so tall. So what happened? Now everyone calls me Sig or Siggy." [Esquire]
• "I love well-made clothes and its fun and it's a delight to get to borrow them and wear them. I love fittings as part of an actress' life, but it's not a preoccupation for me and I think that's the difference. I have tremendous respect for designers. ... I'm very fond of the world, but I'm not preoccupied. That's a big difference between myself and Carrie Bradshaw." — Sarah Jessica Parker [AP]
• Q: What do you think of Donald Trump? Rue McClanahan: I think of him as little, as infrequently as possible. But I do think he has a very bad hairdo." [N.Y. Magazine]

I don't want to criticize Suzanne Somers' gloves in case they have magical medical properties that I've been brainwashed not to recognize.


Ellen Barkin evokes that perennial holiday favorite, the sexy Victorian undertaker.


Cindy Crawford: we hate to say this, but Barbie called, and she wants her casual Friday ensemble back. Cause it's Friday, and she needs it. Don't shoot the messenger.


Emma Heming's ankle bracelet matches her necklace. Don't know if this adds to or detracts from her otherwise pitch-perfect socialite getup.


Alyssa Milano's prom purse somehow makes this whole "lady in red" look. It's the holidays!


Rebecca Mader rocks the breast frame. Sequined, for festivity.


I'm imagining Ghada Irani in talks with a dressmaker. "You know what this needs? A belt. And some infanta-style panels. And let's up the sequins."


Direct your attention to Joan Collins' feet, please. You may be witnessing the birth of a bold new trend.


Selena Gomez, as always, is Disney-princess-perfect. A tad mature, maybe, but definitely textbook "Benefit."


Barbara Davis knows: if it's not broke.

[Images via Getty]

Know what's great about Carrie Underwood's dress? You just know from sense memory that it feels like one of those Barbie gowns.


Don't worry, Selena Gomez, there's enough glitz to go around!


So, over the weekend I was considering the purchase of a pair of silk tap shorts. And the saleslady said to me, "the great thing is, when you can't decide between a skirt or pants, you reach for the shorts." Wonder if that was Chani Christie's process.


I like how Melissa Etheridge always puts just enough thought into her selections to make you think. Think about...life. And sequins.


Ah, the barber pole. The last refuge of a scoundrel.


Reba McIntyre may or may not have ridden here. Through a briar patch. Western-style, presumably.


Shakira looks adorable, is apparently going to walk through a Medieval town square filled with excrement for an audience with the king.


That's good: otherwise we might not have been sure where Kelly Clarkson's breasts were.


It's like Toni Braxton's leg is about to perform a Gypsy Rose Lee-style striptease.


What Phoebe Price has to do with American Music, I can't say. What she has to do with "never disappointing" is a lot.


Oh, but you know what's apparently over my head? Leona Lewis's dress.


Paula Abdul, once again, dressed for a ball that only she is attending. This may be genius. It may be tragic.


Rihanna's die-cut doily: the evening's most creative - and prettiest - look.


Is Alicia Keys' frock a) for a figure-skating engagement later in the evening b) a bet she lost c) Andy Kaufman-style performance art or, and I very much fear it's this, d) none of the above?


Kristen, psst...there's a strip missing from your dress. Oh, it's supposed to be like that? I'll just...walk over here. There's Val Kilmer. In a hat.


Remember those weird "toys" where there were a bunch of pins in a box and you stuck your hand or, if you were brave, your face in, and it sort of hurt, but at the end you had a really neat, ephemeral impression of it? Fergie does!


I'll say this for Bobby Trendy. He's gotten his picture up on Getty.

[Images via Getty]

• The Kardashian sisters are going to put on their thinking kaps and hopefully kome up with a kollection for Bebe. [Kim Kardashian]
• Which makes about as much sense as Jermaine Jackson's rumored clothing line. [Times Of India]

• Megan Fox has been gunning for her just-announced Armani campaign, for which she was paid a rumored $2 million, for years — or approximately as long as she's been famous. She has worn Armani to events and finally met the designer at his couture show this summer. [AP]
• After missing the opportunity to release a Sarah Jessica Parker scent to coincide with the Sex And The City movie, Coty, the clever clogs company behing the actress' perfume deal, vowed to be prepared next time around. And lo, SJP NYC, a cute little pink thing in a beveled bottle, will launch next May, just in time for Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo. [WWD]
• Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas has signed a perfume deal with Avon, the preferred perfume partner of Reese Witherspoon, Courteney Cox, and Patrick Dempsey. [WWD]
• See how Selena Gomez's new clothing line, Dream Out Loud, stacks up against the luminaries of tween clothing collections past: the Olsen twins' Wal-Mart line, Miley Cyrus and Max Azria's concatenation of sequins, and the criminally God-awful Stuff By Hilary Duff. [Refinery29]
• Yeohlee Teng has been honored by the Smithsonian Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum. She says, "Fashion is so often about the Eighties, about the Seventies, but not about original thinking." Teng's preferred design philosophy? "Construct a cube, then put it on the body and watch the body activate it." Check out her current show at the Crow Collection of Asian Art in downtown Dallas. [DN]
• In some kind of grand, music-fashion-industry circle jerk, Michael Stipe will give an award to Renzo Rosso, Jon Bon Jovi will present something to Kenneth Cole, Oscar de la Renta will receive a prize from Grace Coddington, and Dita Von Teese will bestow something on Stephen Jones. In fashion, everyone's a winner. [WWD]
• Coach creative director Reed Krakoff is not only getting an eponymous fashion line, but a New York Fashion Week debut. Expect to see Krakoff on the schedule for February. [FWD]
• When I, like the Italian luxury — luxury as in $30,000 suits — label Brioni, turn 65, remind me to celebrate by releasing a limited-edition perfume and selling each of my 7,000 bottles for $399 (100 ml) r $830 (300 ml). Then, inexplicably, I'll invite Bryan Ferry to the launch. [WWD]
• Nitrolicious was given a free pair of Steve Madden's "Seryna" booties — the alleged knock-off Alexander McQueen is suing Steve Madden over — and posted an understandably glowing review, with photos. But with praise like, "These are really a good copy of the original boots but cost a fraction of the price," not to mention the fact that posts like these serve as timestamped evidence that Steve Madden is continuing to promote the product, could the company only end up developing Alexander McQueen's case? [Nitrolicious]
• We know Vera Wang won't be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars, but is it because the producers wouldn't let her design her own costumes? [FWD]
• Wang's president of creative direction, Constance Darrow, announced her resignation from the company yesterday. The designer is understood to have offered Darrow a promotion to stay. The senior vice president of worldwide marketing and communications, Elizabeth Musmanno, left Vera Wang last week. These developments could be related either to Wang's rumored reality television show, or to the arrival of new company president Mario Grauso, who starts work today. [WWD]
• Thus says model Liya Kebede: "Mothers are the world's best stimulus package because they invest in their families and their communities. When a mother dies, her children are up to 10 times more likely to die within two years. They are less likely to be immunized, more likely to be malnourished, more likely to contract HIV, and more likely to be exploited. When a mother lives, her children are fed, attend school, and know that someone exists who will do absolutely anything to make their lives better." [TDB]
• The American launch of A*Muse, Richie Rich and Pamela Anderson's eco-friendly swimwear line, sounds much like the international launch, at New Zealand Fashion Week in September. Even down to Richie's rollerskates. (I'm beginning to feel bad for the models who have to wear the samples, no doubt well-rubbed with body makeup and other people's sweat, by now.) [People]
• Ruffian's new collection for Anthropologie, Mise en Scene, is out. It's less whimsical than the retailer's typical fare, though the connection to vintage fashion is still obvious. [WWD]

• Lindsay Lohan, finally addressing her disastrously received first Ungaro collection, says, "I am learning." But she will be back in Paris for the next show! "It's already in January. I thought it was in March." January? January means couture.

Could Mounir Moufarrige seriously be reviving Ungaro's couture division — which was shuttered in 2004 — with Lohan at the helm? God help us. Lohan also denies any responsibility for, or foreknowledge of, those ridiculous sparkly heart pasties that the Ungaro models purposefully flashed during the show that just walked in Paris. [People]

• Selena Gomez is launching a fashion line, called Selena Gomez Dream Out Loud. Something called Cynosure Holdings is responsible for the collection, which seems appropriate, somehow. It's not coming out till fall 2010, so if the economy gets worse, there's still time for it the whole idea to slink quietly away, like Pastelle. [WWD]
• Here are some first looks from Rodarte's Target collection, due out on December 20. It includes a lot of leopard print, lace, sequins, and tulle. [Seventeen and A Tiny Machine]
• Carmen Marc Valvo focuses on the positive: "I've survived in this business for over 20 years. And I've survived colon cancer; so a little dip in the world economy isn't enough to keep me down." [Houston Chronicle]
• Badgley Mischka are doing a lower-priced line, called Mark & James. [WWD]
• Ordinary New Yorkers speak out on Filippa Hamilton, the Ralph Lauren face who was fired for being too fat, at size 4: "It makes me angry," says Alexandria Blackwell, 15, of the Bronx. "They always want skinnier." Dr. Robyn Silverman, a child and teen development expert, says, "If a stunning size 4 model is too overweight to look good in their clothes, then they need to change their clothes, not the model." Revolutionary! [NYDN]
• Delia Ephron, on clothes and life: "Clothes have special power. I'll always remember the raspberry colored v-necked silk sweater I was wearing on my husband and my first date. If I hadn't been wearing that sweater that night, would any of it have happened?" Nora says dressing well becomes more important as women age. "Of course it does, because looking good is so easy when you're young. For openers, you're young, and that looks good." [Glamour]
• Linda Evangelista, on doing a shoot for W with chickens: "I grew up in Canada, in an area where everyone had chickens. I mean, we weren't supposed to have chickens — it was a residential area, but we did. Also, when I went back to Italy with my parents where they grew up, there were chickens. So you can say I know a lot about chickens." [W]
• Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles' limited vocabulary drew the attention of Fashion Week Daily, which provided a handy summary of Coles' questions for Hilary Swank, with every repetition of the word "assume" highlighted. [FWD]
• Crocs is opening a flagship store in Boulder, Colorado. [UPI]
• Someone, somewhere, "officially" named Ines de la Fressange the most chic woman in Paris. Carla Bruni, eat your heart out! [Telegraph]
• "I'm excited to go to Olympics in Vancouver," says former figure skater Vera Wang. "I'm definitely going. I always try to go anytime the Olympics come close to our continent!" She still thinks about her former sport. "Skating became a different sport with the magnification of television. And certainly a few exciting things happened in between, like knee clubbing and scandals to raise the sport's profile. But in the end, it's one of the most beautiful spectator sports that you can watch. It's not just about being insanely athletic; it's all being expressive and artistic. There's no other sport that combines spinning, jumping, choreography, costumes, music all in one- it's a full on press." [FWD]
• When she moved on to being an editor at Vogue, Wang had a few hairy moments. "There was a time where I put all of the furs on a Vogue shoot with Deborah Turbeville into the water, and the entire fur industry wanted to sue me," the designer recalled. "Another time we ruined a Frank Stella painting…we were shooting at night and I remember watching a model jumping up and down in front of a work of art that fell apart. It's hard to put a number on it, but that work of art was worth a quarter of a million 35 years ago. That's probably $3 billion now." [WWD]
• Vera Wang popped in to Karolina Kurkova's baby shower, which was also attended by Adriana Lima, Michelle Monaghan, Rachel Roy. Lima, who is also pregnant, compared bellies with Kurkova. [P6]
• Heidi Klum says she's not going to try and lose the baby weight just to be in this year's Victoria's Secret show. [People]
• Jason Wu is greeting his adoring public in Taiwan this week. [WWD]
• Zac Posen is dipping his toe in the churning waters of advertising. Coco Rocha stars and Ellen von Unwerth shot. [Fashionista]
• "Being fierce is a state of being, not something you can become. It's a high point of being a certain persona. Ferosh is a downgraded version of being fierce." — Leading ferocity expert Christian Siriano. [Star-Trib]
• The Gap is bringing back television advertising, after two years without. The chain will also open a flagship in China next year, but overall the company plans to reduce its retail space by 10% over the next five years. Its September same-store sales were down a relatively modest 1%. [TS]
• H&M's same-store sales slid 8% in September. [WSJ]

Hayden Panettiere, sweet as pie. Natch.


Here is the real question: did Samantha Harris receive a "style award" for this? Maybe everyone got one, to make them feel good. Maybe she got "best smile."


No one but no one can do classic bombshell like Kim Kardashian when she turns it on.


Kelly Osbourne actually looks darling - or, as much as one can with Charlie Buckets hair.


Hey, you know how I'm always saying Sophia Bush is an unheralded fashion icon? Yeah, thanks for making me look like a fool!


Lauren Conrad's print may be synesthetic. But it's also unfortunate.


Selena Gomez' getup is, in my humble estimation, a unilateral hit. And imagine having hair so shiny it matched satin?


Katie Cassidy does a similar silhouette, but equally angular hair renders it a tad Jetsons. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


Thank you, Jessica Lowndes, for covering your ass. If you're gonna wear leggings, this is all we ask! Is it so much?


Ole! You know I'm behind this whole "Flaming June" scene, but can you do that and New Orleans madam? Julia Kurbatova says yes!


Hey, I'd look smug too!

[Images via Getty]

Aly Michalka was in a band with her sister AJ, creatively called Aly & AJ. She made a valiant effort to toughen up a sweet, floral frock with a studded belt, but the result? Meh.


Due to my sordid past at a teen magazine, I have interviewed iCarly's Miranda Cosgrove — who was also in School Of Rock — and found her absolutely charming. Much like this bow-tiful dress.


Andrea Bowen — Julie on Desperate Housewives — made her Broadway debut in 1996 as Young Cosette in Les Misérables. Unfortunately, her faux-bandage dress with shiny purple shoes should really go to the guillotine.


Friends, this is Amy Astley, editor in chief of Teen Vogue. Surely she has heard the phrase "wear the trend; don't let the trend wear you." And yet.


The Buff Werewolf wears his tuxedo with just the right amount of insouciance. Wait a minute: Is it denim?


We see London, we see France, we see Ashley Tisdale's sexyface. And bra.


Willa Holland was Kaitlin Cooper on The O.C. and Agnes on Gossip Girl. She's experienced in LBD selection, and in choosing this classy number, it shows.


Katie Cassidy has been on Supernatural and Melrose Place. Her dad is '70s pop idol David Cassidy. While the colors — and the fingernails — are fun; she seems to have forgotten her shirt.


My unapologetic love for Kelly Osbourne grows stronger everyday. This little black dress with embellished sleeves looks great.


Seventeen-year-old Selena Gomez plays it safe… in an ensemble that seems like it's for someone twice her age.


Hey, Haley Bennett! You were great as Cora in that mediocre Drew Barrymore/Hugh Grant flick Music And Lyrics, which is one of my guilty pleasures. But I'm not a fan of your long-ass sweater. Sorry!


Raven-Symoné's black nails and black top are okay, but are her black leggings starting to disintegrate? I think I see skin.


Chelsea Staub was was in the Bratz movie, but that can be forgiven, since this polka-dot dress is adorable.


Hayley Hasselhoff's headpiece is a little kooky, but she's 17 and her dad keeps passing out at home so let's give her a pass.


Not only did Sofia Vassilieva play the leading role in My Sister's Keeper alongside Cameron Diaz, she was Eloise in two made-for-TV movies. Her smile — and her little silver dress — are awesome.


90210 2.0's AnnaLynne McCord attempts sleek retro-chic; succeeds.


In a sea of black and grey, Victoria Justice stands out in a shimmery red sheath. Kudos.


90210 2.0 star Jessica Stroup's square-looking midsection is just one of the reasons jumpsuits should fade away.


Danielle Panabaker's dress is business in front…


…Party in the back!


I've been going back and forth on this dress worn by 90210 2.o's Jessica Lowndes. Flirty and fun? Or too prom-y?

[Images via Getty.]

Taylor, who plays werewolf Jacob Black in the Twilight films, explains that there's a specific kind of girl who signs up for "Team Jacob," and it has nothing to do with being too fed up with Robert Pattinson's complaints about the difficulties of being mobbed by teen girls to join "Team Edward." Taylor says:

"If she likes having a really close friendship with a guy... being able to tell him anything, and then having that friendship slowly transform into something more..."

But the fact that Taylor spent hours "hitting the gym, hiring a personal trainer, eating the right foods, and eating a lot of them" to prepare for New Moon probably added quite a few ladies to Team Jacob as well. But he doesn't give himself (or the 30 pounds of muscle he put on for the role) enough credit for his success:

"I think the fans would love anybody who played Jacob," he says mildly, when the reception is mentioned. "I'm just lucky to be the one who got the chance."

Perhaps Taylor is unfazed by fame because he didn't grow up wanting to be a movie star, he was pushed into it by a former blue Power Ranger. As a child he studied Xtreme Martial Arts and became a four-time world champion by age 13. His karate coach, who learned all about the glamorous world of show business during a stint on Power Rangers, suggested Taylor start auditioning for acting roles.

"At first," [Taylor] recalls, "I wasn't interested, but he said I could stay at his house for a few weeks, meet with some agents, go on auditions. " By the end of that month, Taylor says, "I liked it. Taking on roles that were the opposite of what I could be in real life? That's still my favorite thing."

Now he lives an hour outside of Los Angeles with his family, which makes it easier to avoid the throngs of teen girls, but not the paparazzi:

"There are twelve cars that camp outside my house," he marvels. "You can't ever really get used to it, because it's not normal to have people snapping pictures of everything you do. You just have to try not to let it affect you."

It seems he has a healthier attitude toward unwanted public attention than Robert Pattinson, who was reportedly so stressed out by stalkery fans that the crew of Remember Me had to literally put him in a box to keep the ladies away.

Teen Vogue doesn't manage to get any details out of Taylor on his co-star's love life. He says or the torrid love affair between Pattinson and Kristen Stewart "It's crazy... but the fans help. They're a big part of the motivation," so clearly he hasn't seen the blurry pictures of them supposedly making out. As for his own alleged romance with Selena Gomez, he just says, "She's a great girl."

The article is accompanied by a series of flattering (yet clothed) photos of Taylor, and a behind-the-scenes video in which he reveals that Denzel Washington is his favorite actor. For a guy being stalked by rabid fans Taylor seems surprisingly grounded, so if we must pick one Twilight boy to creepily watch us while we sleep, we're going to have to go with him.

Team Jacob [Teen Vogue]
Taylor Lautner's Teen Vogue Cover Shoot Photos [Teen Vogue]
Video: Taylor Lautner's Teen Vogue Cover Shoot [Teen Vogue]

Earlier: Battle Of The Creepy Twilight Merchandise

• This speaks for itself: Win A Chance To Design Lindsay Lohan's Leggings. [FabSugar]
• Similarly exciting is news that Juicy Couture is launching a perfume called "Couture Couture." At a certain frequency of repetition, "couture" actually loses all meaning! [WWD]

• Selena Gomez is a new face of Sears. [UPI]
• Mike Dirnt of Green Day has a vegan shoe out — and all of the proceeds will go to the charity Soles4Soles. [WWD]
• Director R.J. Cutler says that larger-than-life Vogue editor-at-large André Leon Talley almost didn't make the final cut of The September Issue. "The process of boiling down the enormous amount of footage was so complicated that one late-stage cut of the film actually eliminated Editor At Large André Leon Talley entirely! Clearly a huge mistake, Talley was abundantly re-inserted into the next cut." [Racked]
• We demand to eat Isaac Mizrahi's strawberry-rhubarb pie RIGHT NOW. [W]
• If we were Isaac's interns, we'd probably have achieved that life goal already. [Fashionista]
• Le Bon Marché, the Paris department store, is selling a limited number of archival Balenciaga clothing and jewelry items reissued from the period 1932-67. Doubtless for thousands and thousands of dollars. Sigh. [WWD]
• Givenchy is adding another collection, to be called Redux. It'll be the house's signature looks, presented twice annually, and it'll hit stores just before its existing pre-season collections do. Ranya Mordanova looks pretty ballin' in this blouse and pants, and Redux pieces will start at around $340, this might be worth watching. [Vogue UK]
• Ever go looking for a reason to not give a shit about fashion designers going out of business? $395 Alexander Wang bike shorts might be that reason for today. [Cheap JAP]
• If you loved Missy Rayder's spread from the August issue of Dazed & Confused, or if you just love Missy Rayder, you should check out this mesmerizing behind-the-scenes video of the Wisconsin-born model going through her paces in an insane black leather corset. [DazedDigital]
• Looks like Marco Zanini's current position at Rochas is more secure than his last. (The designer was fired from Halston in the blink of an eye.) Zanini will open Paris Fashion Week, a tremendous show of support from Rochas' backers. [FWD]
• Hussein Chalayan, who just released a denim collaboration with J Brand, actually only wears A.P.C. jeans. Details, details! [Style.com]
• Lucky Brand underwear and sleep wear will be in stores next spring. [WWD]
• In case you need some leather booty shorts, Chloé Sevigny's fall collection for Opening Ceremony is starting to reach stores. [ONTD]
• Sorry, Fort Greene. That random rumor that you were getting a Topshop was...just a random rumor. [Racked]
• Although revenues dipped 2.1% in the last quarter at L'Oréal, sales rose 2.6%. [WWD]
• Steve Madden increased its quarterly profits by 59% over last year, to $12.1 million. [WWD]
• As a sector, retail stocks gained 1.4% yesterday, achieving a new high for the year despite some poor quarterly results and weak consumer spending. [WWD]
• A new state law in Minnesota requires state colleges to sell American-made apparel whenever possible. So those Gophers t-shirts might not actually come from China anymore. [NPR]

In a world of silk-garment photo-shoots and leaked camera-phone undie pics, it's nice to know that the majority of Disney's stable of young stars toe the line: indeed, a weird number. While it's natural that people who work together, are isolated from the rest of existence, and see each other every day should become incolved, the numbers still seem suspiciously high. There's Zac and Vanessa, of course; but also the dramatic Miley-Selena-Nick love triangle, and, until recently, Selena's BFF Demi Lovato (who's also been linked to Joe Jonas) and Miley's brother Trace. It's as incestuous as an isolated polygamists' cult - or a high school with no other students.

How do we know? Teen mags, select interviews, tabloids. None of this seemed quite so sinister before the Cyrus Affair and Disney's angry Big-Brother response, but now the mouse behind the curtain seems to loom in a way even youngsters can't ignore. As the Guardian relates, since their (very public) split, Demi and Trace have taken it to the Tweets:

"I know there's such thing as a Mr Right," tweets Demi. "But can there be such thing as a Mr Not Right Now . . . ?" Alas, it is not long before she is musing "Ur So Gay, Katy Perry – such a well written, relatable song. ;) HaHaHaHa."

"Another storybook ending," declares Trace sarcastically, before posting a picture of the girlfriend before Demi.

"I'm sorry, was that supposed to hurt?" responds Demi. "Hmm. Oh well."

Since it seems fairly sure that these kids do approximately nada without the mouse's say-so, one can only assume that, as opposed to these renegade photo shoots, this sort of thing is sanctioned: relatable, G-rated high school romance that can give the thousands of followers a vicarious heartbreak - just as they get a thrill when we just happen to learn that Nick Jonas has bought Miley a wholesome (but aspirationally large!) promise ring.

It's not to say these romances are fake (who could manufacture the pain of Disney-born "Cry Me a River?!") but doubtless...encouraged. One can only assume there are plenty of other relationships - and spats - we're not reading about. When one starts to make the jump to Old Hollywood and their publicity machines, though, you can't help but start to recall lurid stories - of gay stars set up in sham marriages, pregnancies disguised, narratives spun. I'm not saying that's happening today - I don't think it could happen today, not with Perez etc. on the loose - but if anyone could do it, it's Disney, the one place that still trucks in modern fantasy - and the accompanying old-fashioned cynicism.

Even Disney's Magic Can't Protect Its Teen Lovers From Heartbreak [Guardian]

• Looks like Lindsay Lohan's stalking paid off: Her new Twitter message says:

"Leaving London but with my favorite favorite!!!" Then she was photographed at the airport with… Samantha Ronson. And another Tweet from LL reads: "Great news to share!! Maybe .... ;)" [People, The Sun]

• Lindsay and Sam were seen holding hands while walking into the first class lounge. [Daily Mail]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are finito, which means Megan will have to get that tattoo removed. And! Megan may have hooked up with sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson, after which he blew her off. Dramz! [E!]
• Madonna may be able to adopt Mercy after all?!?! A source says: "The paperwork is being typed up now." [Mirror]
• A "friend" of Madonna's says: "She made a promise that she wouldn't give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she's this determined." [Telegraph]
• By the by, someone has paid more than £15,000 for that lovely Peter Howson painting of naked Madonna and thuggish-looking Guy Ritchie. [The Star]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy: Definitely engaged. [Page Six]
• Hold on to your panties, here are ten life-changing words: Simon Cowell remake of Saturday Night Fever starring Zac Efron. [Telegraph]
• What is Chris Brown afraid of? He's been seen "surrounded by bodyguards" at all times lately — as many as five. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus had to say goodbye to her main man, Justin Gaston, because she's heading off to Georgia to film a Nicholas Sparks movie. A post on the 16-year-old's Twitter read: "'my heart is in two... and its all because of you.' a song i am starting to write :)" As for 20-year-old Justin, his Twitter says: "Haven't been this miserable in a looong time." Remember, kids: Absence makes the heart go wander! [Us Magazine]
• What a difference a day makes! Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt now claim that the reports of torture are "false and inaccurate." One thing is for sure: These people know how to get their names in the paper every damn day. [People]
• Oh, God: When the show is over, Heidi Montag will launch a dry-shampoo line. [JustJared]
• A Yankee insider bitches: "First we dealt with all the Madonna mayhem, now we're on to Kate [Hudson]. It's distracting." [MSNBC Sccop]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod left a club separately so no one would think they'd been together. [Page Six]
• Today in "crazy cat lady" news: Susan Boyle will take her beloved kitty Pebbles with her on tour. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ugh, if you're interested in this, it's here: David Carradine's ex-wife reveals his "shocking" sex secrets — tying himself up, drowning himself and tattoos and piercings. [Radar Online]
• Kelly Bensimon is off the hook regarding that assault case in which she allegedly hit ex-boyfriend Nicolas Stefanov in the face: the case was dismissed when Stefanov didn't show up to court. [E!]
• More Real Housewife gossip: Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was seen making out wit h a guy in his 20s; Kelly Bensimon was seen nuzzling with Gerard Butler. [Gatecrasher]
• After getting hit by scenery on stage at the Tonys, Bret Michaels suffered a fractured nose and had to have three stitches in his lip. [Gatecrasher]
• Congrats to Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford, who gave birth to a baby girl last night. [Radar Online]
• Olympic gymnast and Dancing With the Stars champ Shawn Johnson is mulling an offer to star in a film for kids. [E!]
• David Letterman: About to sign a deal to continue hosting the Late Show for 3 more years. [Reuters]
• On the movie Nine: "'It was an amazing experience,' says Fergie, who plays a prostitute. 'It was all about the character, not about me, so I could gain weight and not be self-conscious about it.'" [USA Today]
• Prince Harry is supposedly dating TV presenter Caroline Flack, and she supposedly calls him by the codeword "Jam," because he's got jam-coloured hair and he's sweet." [The Sun]
• Gossip and rumors from the set of the Robin Hood movie: Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are "squabbling," ; Crowe had to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs because a producer said "We can't have Robin Hood looking more like Friar Tuck" ; they're totally not singing that oo-de-lally song. Boo. [Page Six]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas will leave their home on Bermuda to work on projects: He's starring in a movie about Liberace (?!?!) as well as the Wall Street sequel. [Telegraph]
• Last week, Nadya Suleman bashed Kate Gosselin; this week, she feels bad about it. "I kind of self-reflected on why I did that, and I felt really guilty," Suleman says. "I was annoyed. I was fed up. I was probably misplacing my frustration about all of this invasive media crap onto her." Or: You missed the attention. Just a thought! [MSNBC]
• Canceled NBC show My Name Is Earl might live on — with new episodes on TBS, the network which airs its repeats. [Reuters]
• Househunting in London: Sacha Baron Cohen. [The Sun]
• A hearing date has been set for Howard K. Stern — to determine if he must stand trial for illegally supplying Anna Nicole Smith with prescription drugs. Things begin in August. [Reuters]
• Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has ditched her MySpace account. "It was a lot of fun while it lasted," she wrote on her official website. "With MySpace no longer in existence, I can now clearly state that...there is no other outlet where I communicate with people online," Meyer continued. "I do not have a Facebook page, and I have never had one. I don't do Twitter. So if you're communicating with someone online that you think is me, it's not." [E!]
• Additional Twilight news: Disney star Selena Gomez and hunky native werewolf Taylor Launter: Splitsville. [UPI]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay called Aussie TV journalist Tracy Grimshaw a pig and a lesbian; she's calling him an "arrogant narcissist." It's a mess. [News.com.au]
• Gordon Ramsay says the insults he made were "blown out of context." [Mirror]
• Kelly Clarkson says she sympathizes with Susan Boyle: "She's from a small town, I'm from a smaller town. You have to focus on the people that are really positive around you. It takes time." [The Sun]
• Liam Neeson is in talks to play Hannibal in the big-screen adaptation of A-team. Bradley Cooper might play Faceman. No word on Mr. T's involvement, but I pity the fool who thinks he can replace him. [Variety]
• Bryce Dallas Howard has written a drama called The Originals, "an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The wife of baseball player Barry Bonds has filed for legal separation. [TMZ]
• Phil Spector's wife says he is being treated "worse than an animal" in jail. It's not supposed to be enjoyable… [NME]
• Uh, what? "Children as young as five were 'confused and worried' after teachers played them a recording of Elton John's 'Your Song' in an effort to explain homosexuality." [Mirror]
• A silver menorah which once belonged to Sammy Davis Jr. failed to sell for $9,000 at auction. The Candy Man can't generate cash? [NY Times]
• Blind item! "Which dreamy-eyed actor is embarrassed to admit he's hooking up with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "They wouldn't have my character back on the show. My character was born out of the '90s. It's a different era now." — Andrew Shue won't be on the new Melrose Place. [Gatecrasher]
• "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway on playing Judy Garland on Broadway. [Gatecrasher]
• "Kids are not to be used as weapons. Deadbeat moms that sleep all day, seeking money, attention like 2 do so. Just hurts the kids in the end. Giving birth 2 a child doesn't make u a good mom. Taking care of them, loving them, waking up with them, spending time with them does." — Travis Barker's been Twittering not-so-subtle hints about his feelings towards Shanna Moakler. [Perez]
• "She would have a plan on arrival anywhere and would be carving the best out of life and every situation and every person. She wasn't as much a passenger as I am, which made us great companions in life... because every driver needs a passenger and every passenger needs a driver. So it's a big loss in my life." — Uma Thurman on Natasha Richardson, to Harper's Bazaar UK. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody's making it like there's all this tension, you know, like I stepped away from the band and now they're jealous of me, and look, maybe there is a little bit of that. But some fights aren't really what they seem." — Gwen Stefani on reuniting with No Doubt. [Mirror]
• "It's one thing when you have an infant. But when you have this three-year-old going, 'Mommy, what's the deal?' it's harder. Kingston's whole thing is, 'I need, I need.' He is insane right now. We're just hoping for the best and that he's not going to turn out to be a freak, but we'll see." — Gwen Stefani, on being a working mom. [Mirror]
• "Gwyneth is one of the most intelligent people I know. So motivating her to do something is not the issue. Learning to dance and get that lung capacity and endurance was the hardest part for her. She (complained) about the cardio. To this day, if she at all has had filming days, she'll always do it, but it's like, 'Ugh, we have to do the cardio.'" — trainer Tracy Anderson. [USA Today]
• "I have always carried around in my mind, that he would ultimately be seen as a heroic figure. But I'm maybe kidding myself." — Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus on Lost. [Mirror]
• "Yes, she's never played a mother and she's playing a mother of three in this movie but that didn't scare me. I knew she was up for it. I'm more proud of her performance in the film than I am proud of things in my life." — Nick Cassavetes on Cameron Diaz in My Sister's Keeper. [Daily Express]
• "Lately, I've been in meetings regarding a new script idea I have. A studio executive asked me to change the female lead to a male, because... 'women don't go to movies.' Really? When I pointed out the box office successes of Sex and The City, Mamma Mia, and Obsessed, he called them 'flukes.' He said 'don't quote me on this.' So, I'm telling everybody." — Nia Vardalos. [HuffPo]
• ''People see me and they're like, 'Oh, you're so much prettier in real life!' And I'm like, 'Well, thanks.' It's definitely narrowed the opportunities, which is a bummer because... I want a job! I didn't enter this biz because I thought I was a supermodel. I entered because I liked finding out what makes people laugh.'' — Rachel Dratch, who doesn't exactly deny the rumor that she was supposed to be on 30 Rock, but the network wanted ''hotter'' actress Jane Krakowski instead. [EW]
• It's hard to believe you're still on the D-list. "I have proof although I'm flattered at the suggestion that I could even be a C-minus. Recently, I was on tour and they delivered me a sandwich and it said Taffy Griffin. Now, I'd like to think that's maybe what they thought my stripper name was, but no. My name was on the marquee. Sold-out show. Taffy Griffin. I'm on the D-list where I belong… What is tough for me as a D-list celebrity is that kind of puts Speidi and me in the same category and that hurts. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow." — Kathy Griffin. [AP]
• "I don't have to defend myself. What can you do against something that is totally different from what you really think? It was hard to live with that, because I'm not the person described in that ridiculous story. I was not happy that this story could hurt people. But I felt sorry for those French journalists-that was the thing. I felt sorry for journalism, in general. We live in a world where there is so much information, but what I said was taken out of context. It's so common for someone who gives interviews to say that, but a cliché becomes a cliché because it's true. Some of it was funny: the part where I thought that man didn't walk on the moon? Man, please! It's so ridiculous… I talked about being fascinated by Internet conspiracies, because they are fascinating. And I asked a question like that: 'Did man walk on the moon?' Because the conspiracies are out there, not because it's a question I believed." — Marion Cotillard, on the statements she made about September 11. [BlackBook]

• If you get an email titled, "Madonna caught swine flu!" don't open it. The only thing that will be infected is your computer. [The Sun]

• The same does not go for Pete Doherty, who was pictured online hugging one of the first UK victims of the swine flu. Though the picture is old, "Pete's friends are worried he may have the deadly illness. He has got himself clean of drugs, the last thing he needs is this," says a source. [ONTD]
• Not even the swine flu can stop Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who are honeymooning in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. [People]
• Heidi Montag says, "every second we're washing our hands," and Spencer Pratt says they are "wearing face masks everywhere we go. We're in isolation, we're in full hiding." Sounds romantic! [People]
• Oh no. Heidi Montag's wedding gift to Spencer Pratt was a new song called "Sex Ed." Listen here, if you must: [Perez Hilton]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is reportedly expecting twin girls via a surrogate. Reports EW: "They had a lot of unsuccessful tries," says the friend. "They came to the conclusion that this was going to be the best alternative for expanding their family." The couple turned to a surrogate — whose name and place of residence have not been disclosed — last year. "They're over the moon and excited as any prospective parents would be," says the friend. "Their life is about to get a lot busier." [EW]
• Madonna's rep is denying that she asked her designer friends to hire Jesus Luz to keep him in the U.S., saying, "Madonna has not been involved with any bookings Jesus has gotten. They were arranged through his agents." [The Daily Express]
• Ricky Schroeder won a Malibu small claims court case against a woman who accused him of conspiring with her ex to steal thousands of dollars in tools. While he was leaving the court house in victory, he was pulled over by the police for talking on his cell phone. [TMZ]
• A guy grabbed Paris Hilton's boobs in a Hollywood club. Her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, got into a fist fight with the boob grabber. The DJ thought it would be funny to play her song "Stars Are Blind" and Paris danced about during the fight. [Perez Hilton]
• In light of Hulk Hogan's pro-O.J. Simpson comments, Linda Hogan has filed papers claiming she needs another $8,200 a month in support payments so she can move "thousands of miles away" from him because she feels she's in "imminent danger of becoming a victim." [TMZ]
• There should be a decision soon in Britney Spears' attempt to extend her restraining order against Sam Lutfi and Jon Eardley. During today's hearing her lawyer called both men "cowards" for not showing up for cross-examination. [TMZ]
• Paul McCartney sent Pamela Anderson a two-page "letter regarding livestock and greenhouse gases" calling on Pam to help spread the word about vegetarianism. You can read the letter at the link. [The Sun]
• Ricki Lake says childbirth helped her overcome her issues related to being sexually abused when she was about six or seven. "I was able to look at my body and see what it was able to do and embrace it," says Lake. "Sort of let go of all the body image issues." [People]
• A spokesmen for the Miss California pageant is denying Carrie Prejean's claim that pageant officials told her to apologize for her statement opposing same-sex marriage during the Miss USA pageant when giving TV interviews. The spokesmen added, "Given the fact that Carrie Prejean's first act upon returning to California was to headline five services at a church that promotes homosexuality as both unnatural and abnormal, we stand by our concern for her individual image and look forward to a time in the near future when she can put down her personal agenda" and resume her responsibilities as Miss California. [Sacramento Bee]
• A Las Vegas judge has ordered Dennis Rodman to pay a former waitress $225,000 for slapping her butt, grabbing her, and forcing her to dance with him at a Vegas bar in 2006. [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman says he considered quitting the X-Men movies because "It felt like Wolverine had got a little soft by X-Men 3 and I wanted to take it back to that bad ass quality. He's tough, he's gruff, he's not politically correct - he doesn't say the right things." He adds, "He's a flawed character. That's what I like about it, that's why I'm doing it for the fourth time or else I wouldn't." [The Daily Express]
• Avril Lavigne has been selected to be the Canadian Ambassador for 2010 World Expo in Shanghai, China. Lavigne, who is popular is Asia and has performed parts of her songs in Mandarin, blogged, "I've played two shows in Shanghai. It's a great city and I look forward to visiting again next year." [The Daily Express]
• Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz, who is pregnant with her first child, said, "Before I found out I was having a girl I dreamt that I was having a girl, I even dreamt what her name was, so I guess that name should be her real name." As for the name, she joked, "It's going to be Watermelon." [People]
• Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner are dating. They had dinner this weekend in Vancouver, where they are both filming movies. [People]
• Peter Facinelli, who plays Twilight's father figure Dr. Carlisle Cullen, says, "I love night shoots. Everybody else is [tired] by like two, three in the morning, which is weird because I'm the old guy!" [People]
• Here's Katy Perry's new video for "Waking Up In Vegas": [Perez HIlton]
• Russell Brand will star in a remake of Drop Dead Fred. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Last night James Lipton sat down with Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane for the next season of Inside the Actor's Studio. Lipton said he's a fan of the show because, "Well, inevitably, I'm attracted to anybody who likes stage musicals, having written two myself. What really has always drawn me to Family Guy is its irreverence, its cutting edge, its willingness to take chances. And I like risk. My two sports, show jumping and flying airplanes, in either case, the cost of a mistake can be rather large. So risk has been the nature of my life, I think. That's what I like about their show." [NY Times]
• Jessica Alba celebrated her 28th birthday on Sunday with an '80s party at her home with 50 friends, including Sarah Silverman and Rosario Dawson. [People]
• Here's the cover of Vibe's "Real Rap" issue, featuring Eminem: [The Life Files]
• Though the media has been claiming Mel Gibson is worth $900,000,000, he says he actually has no idea how much money he has. His divorce lawyers and accountants are trying to figure it out. [TMZ]
• When Eric Bana first arrived in America in the early 1990s he went on a road trip, but ran out of money and started living out of his car. One time he tried to take a shower in a gas station bathroom and got arrested. He says, "I slept in the car a lot. I wanted to experience everything the county had to offer... I got done (arrested) for taking a shower in the gas station. I just got under it (the facet) and turned it on. I was not naked. I had my jocks (underwear) on. I was able to wash my hair."[Contact Music]
• Andy Roddick writes on his blog that having Elton John play at his recent wedding "was very, very surreal," adding, "It was beyond awesome of him to make time for us and needless to say it was beyond amazing." [People]
• Jennifer Garner says it's hard to be a mom to two young children while she's on set. She says: "[I] feel like half my brain is somewhere else all the time, but when the camera's rolling, I pull it together and focus for two minutes," she says, "and then I kind of turn back to a ditz again. I have a split personality." [People]
• OMG! Gossip Girl's ratings are down 26% from last year. However, it had already been renewed for a third season, so it's not in immediate danger. [Perez Hilton]
• In a lengthy and mostly boring interview, Ed Westwick discusses his tattoos. "I've got '21 Grams,' 'Love Me Two Times,' the song by The Doors. I have 'I Heart Romance' on my forearm and 'You Make Me Feel Like the One' across my shoulder," says Westwick, adding that he got his "I Heart Romance," tattoo because, "I saw it in a bathroom stall in a bar in Brooklyn. I thought it was cool, so I got it." [Interview]
• Last night Tom Hanks was presented with the Chaplin Award at the Film Society of Lincoln Center Gala Tribute. For her tribute, Julia Robert's said, "It's late, and I'm paying my babysitter overtime, and I have to pee," telling Hanks, "So, everybody fucking likes you." She added, "That movie about you and the airport and the accent was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, but I didn't know … and I'm wearing the same fucking dress tonight as your publicist." [People]

Seen (as pictured) at the Charlotte Ronson show this afternoon (Charlotte is Sam Ronson's twin sister, by the by) LL said: "I'm really sick right now. I think I have an ear infection." Plus: "I'm not sure what I'm doing the rest of the week," she shrugged. You heard it here first: Apathy is so hot right now. [WWD]

• Oh and Lindsay Lohan, who you'll recall once worked with the likes of Jane Fonda and Meryl Streep, has been cast as the lead female role in the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street. [Just Jared]
• Wait, no she wasn't! [Just Jared]
• This just in: Chris Brown had a "secret meeting" in LA on Thursday night with his mom and other family members and friends. Guess what: He and Rihanna have "officially broken up." And Chris thinks he will not, repeat, NOT go to jail. He told those gathered: "Protect me. I'm your homeboy." [Radar]
• Patrick Swayze, who just got over pneumonia and is still battling cancer, continues to smoke. Ugh! [The Sun]
• In a completely natural follow up to Twilight, Robert Pattinson's next role will be Spanish surrealist painter Salvador Dalí in Little Ashes. [People]
• Jerry O'Connell tried out a breast pump on Ellen and talked about the breastfeeding habits of his wife, Rebecca Romijn, who recently had twins. "I'm not saying anything dirty, it's natural but [Rebecca] does what we call the double football – which is just incredible, because it's like three beings attached," he says. "It's like something out of Cirque du Soleil. It's crazy." [People]
• Apparently the rumors that Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love were hooking up are not true. In this video he says he'd rather "be on a deserted island with a gorilla." [TMZ]
• Angela Suleman, the octuplets' grandmother has been put under a gag order after it was revealed that she may have been paid for her interview with RadarOnline.com. Her daughter Nadya's publicist said: "I had to put a gag on Nadya's mother, who sold her out… They paid her $40,000 to sell [Nadya] out, and she can't talk about her daughter for three months." [Perez Hilton]
• Hilary Duff will appear on the Diet Coke Style Series during fashion week, being interviewed along with Christian Siriano and Heidi Klum. [Ad Rants]
• Bon Jovi is suing a former employee of the arena footbal team he owns, the Philadelphia Soul, for allegedly making his own version of their championship rings and selling them to the public. [TMZ]
• In this video, Ashanti says she doesn't know if she'd call the cops on an abuser like Rihanna (supposedly) did. [TMZ]
• Will Smith says he and wife Jada have "reached out" to both Chris Brown and Rihanna and offered to do whatever they need, even if they just want to be left alone. "If there are mistakes people make, then they should be willing to live up to the mistakes and do whatever penance they need to do. I don't think it's up to us, specifically the media, with such a fast hand to try to chop someone's head off," says Smith. [People]
• Handsome gentleman John Legend on the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation: "I know both of them. I was surprised when I heard because it doesn't strike me as something Chris would do. "You never know what's inside people or what can trigger that. It's an awful story. I feel terrible for both of them but if Chris did what they said he did, that's unacceptable. He has to accept the consequences of it." [People]
• Teenyboppers, brace yourselves: Nick Jonas and Selena Gomez have split up. [Perez Hilton]
• Mandy Moore talked about her recent engagement to Ryan Adams on The Bonnie Hunt Show and says she is "very happy." [People]
• Former Ronette Estelle Bennett died Wednesday at her home in New Jersey at age 67. Along with the rest of the group, Estelle sang the 60s hits "(Walking) in the Rain," "Baby, I Love You," and "Be My Baby." [Pitchfork Media]
• Naomi Watts says her Clive Owen, her co-star in The International is "not to me in real life. On the screen, yeah." She added, "[Owen] is a total pussy cat, incredibly funny, great kind of British schoolboy silly sense of humor and likes to be teased, can laugh at himself. But incredibly focused and well committed to his work. I loved working with him." [CBS News]
• Carrie Underwood says she's anti-Valentine's Day. "I don't believe – and this goes for anybody – your man shouldn't love you for one day out of 365. He should love you 365 days out of the year. I want Valentine's Day every day," she says. [People]
• Being on the road in his tour bus must be so hard for Tommy Lee. He says: "Well there's a shower, there's a kitchen, a Pro Tools recording system, a Jaegemeister machine, both formats of Playstation, and Xbox. I don't have a stripper pole - that'd be kind of fun too. I think I'm missing that. But then again, we don't really need a pole. You don't need a pole to strip right? At least on my bus we haven't needed one yet." [NY Magazine]
• "Because I am a mum, my uniform is jeans and trainers and T-shirts. I was raised as a tomboy with boys and I never really feel like myself when I am really dolled up at premieres and showbiz events." - Isla Fisher. [Reuters]

Originally envisioned (and still touted) as a children's programming network, the Disney Channel, much like it's mall twin, The Disney Store, set out to recreate the Disney Experience at home: you could get your fill of your favorite Disney characters without hoofing it down to Florida or out to California for a big vacation. Movies like The Shaggy Dog and television shows like The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet played on the channel, which didn't rely on original programming as much as it's tremendously awesome competitor, Nickelodeon, did in the 1980's, turning out some of the most creative and weird children's programs of all time.

And so, in order to connect with "the kids", the Disney Channel dropped Ozzie and Harriet and set out to make new stars. The first steps, of course, were shows like Kids Incorporated and The New Mickey Mouse Club or MMC, the former of which gave us Fergie, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Mario Lopez, and the latter of which gave us, as we all know, Britney, Christina, Justin, Ryan Gosling, and Keri Russell.

By 2000, Disney had become a star-making machine, with former Mouseketeers running around in shiny pants and singing Max Martin-penned songs all over the globe. Disney had the power to create major stars in a way it hadn't since the days of Annette Funicello and Hayley Mills. And this, sadly, is what brings us to the problem we face today: the unending string of Disney Girls.

If the revival began with Stacy Ferguson, it currently rests with Selena Gomez, the up-and-comer whom all of you already hate for taking on the role of Beezus Quimby in the upcoming Beezus and Ramona adaptation. We're supposed to be interested in and excited for Selena Gomez: she's the next big thing! But Selena Gomez, dude, I am telling you right now. You need to run. Run far, far away.

For what becomes of a Disney Girl? Let's break it down, shall we?

• Step 1: The Fresh Faced Sweetheart Remember this kid? It's Lindsay Lohan, circa 1997. When The Parent Trap was released, Lohan was praised by Roger Ebert as having a "sunny charm." Of course we all know what happened to Lindsay Lohan, sadly. The New York Post called one of her later films, I Know Who Killed Me: "A sleazy, inept and worthless piece of torture porn." Of course you don't go from "sunny charm" to "torture porn" without going through a few steps first. Like, say, Step 2.
• 
  
  
  
• Step 2: But What I Really Want To Be Is A Singer Acting is like, totes cool, but every real Disney Girl wants to be (or, in the interest of cross-promotion, is groomed to be) a rock star, too. Like, say, Hilary Duff, who went from starring as adorable Lizzie McGuire to having a sugar-pop, non-offensive musical career that spawned the theme song to Laguna Beach. Yet here lies the trap of a Disney Girl: while it is cool to be a sugar pop star at the age of 15, by the time one is 18 or so, the need to express the "I'm not a little kid anymore" sentiment comes out, and you end up separating yourself from the teen world completely by posing for Maxim. Or, in the case of Vanessa Hudgens, you get caught sending nude photos of yourself to your boyfriend over your cell phone. Voila! Instant "adult" cred.
• 
  
  
  
• Step 3: Scandal= Maturity Here's where the Disney Girl curse kicks in. Because the public views these young women as wholesome little angels, the only way they seem to feel it possible to break their Disney image (or, rather, their Disney contracts) and move on is to either a. get caught naked, b. get caught with drugsthat "aren't really" their drugs, Lohan style, c. get caught in a racist photo or a creepy-ass photo with one's father in Vanity Fair ala Miley Cyrus, d. Pose for Maxim like Hilary Duff, e. Change one's name to Fergie, have a crystal meth binge, and sing about one's humps and lady lumps, f. Become Britney Spears, g. Make the "Dirrty" video, like Christina Aguilera, and so on and so forth. The sense of independence, of owning one's sexuality, of adulthood; these things all come at a great price for Disney Girls. It's a weird and sad pattern: an exaggerated version of what many women go through- you're expected to be sweet, and then BAM! you're a sex object.
• 
  
  
  
• Step 4: Replaced The ultimate freedom for any Disney Girl, really, is the sense that there is someone else waiting to take their place. Miley Cyrus' recent spat of unwholesome behavior may be due to the fact that she's almost done being Hannah Montana, and that her role as America's Tweenage Sweetheart is coming to an end: someone else will come along (most likely Selena Gomez) to fill the role of Super Role Model, to drone on and on in typical Disney bullshit style about the importance of virginity and making dreams come true. Will Miley end up coked up in an LA bathroom or on the cover of FHM? One never knows. But the pattern is pretty clear.
• 
  
  

  I know this is an incredibly long post, but I want to point something out here: we, as a society, allow this pattern to keep happening. We allow young women to take on the role of America's Role Model, and then act shocked and horrified when they crack under the pressure or screw up as they enter the awkwardness of their late teens. We buy these stupid records, we take our kids, nieces, etc. to see these stupid movies, we buy into this image of the girl who has everything, and then we celebrate a bit when she falls on her face, knowing that another fresh faced sweetheart will be there, waiting in the wings. And honestly, with Miley Cyrus posing for racist pics, Hilary Duff taking shots at Faye Dunaway's face, Lindsay's life being plagued with drug and family problems, Britney still trying to pull herself together after years of mental and physical problems, perhaps something needs to be done about the Disney Girl Role Model System, for as it stands, it's a big ol' FAIL.

  Let me be clear, though: these women have all made some pretty serious mistakes, but the Disney set up is the real problem here- the "isn't she an adorable, inoffensive virgin who dresses like a 25 year old" image they have their starlets project, knowing full well how it's turned out in the past.

  Interestingly enough, Disney Boys don't seem to fall to the same fate: Timberlake has admitted to doing drugs but keeps it private, Gosling is a respected actor, and the Jonas Brothers, I imagine, much like the Hanson brothers, will fade away, keeping their hardcore fans. And perhaps the reason for this is because the public expects boys to grow up, sleep around, party, and screw up, while the girls are expected to remain pure as the driven snow until they marry Prince Charming and sell the baby pictures to USWeekly.

  Is there anything we can do about it? Maybe not. As long as there are 12 year old girls and crack Disney marketing teams, it's a hard battle to fight. But in the end, maybe it's time we stop paying so much attention to the Disney Girls. Every one we prop up ends up falling on her face. If young girls in this country need decent role models, perhaps we should start looking at ourselves, instead of the television set.

  Roger Ebert: Parent Trap Review [Chicago Sun-Times]
  I Know Who Killed Me Review[New York Post]
  Miley Cyrus Denies Pulling Racist Pose{The Guardian]
  Hilary Duff Poses For Maxim[Scandalist]
  Vanessa Hudgens Scandal Can't Stop High School 2 Musical Reign [MTV]
  Drugs Connected To Lindsay Lohan Photo Crash [People]

  Earlier: Ramona The Best: Why Does Hollywood Have To Ruin Everything?
  Miley Cyrus Is Not The Innocent Victim That Disney Makes Her Out To Be
  What's The Allure Of Everything Disney?

Here is what we know: Ramona will be played in the upcoming Beezus and Ramona by one Joey King, an adorable nine-year-old Disney vet. Beezus is played by - wait for it! - Selena Gomez, the cute-as-a-button teen star whom Disney's positioning as the new Miley. In other words, the Quimby sisters are going to be just as cute and pretty and silly as you please.

Except, we don't please: Beezus and Ramona are not cute. Ramona's a terror who ages into a normal, relatable little girl. Beezus, meanwhile, is a bit of a grind who goes from long-suffering older-sister to slightly awkward adolescence. And their adventures are not particularly "zany"; for the most `part it's small-scale stuff that's funny because it's so normal and most of all, because the writing is so hilarious. I have a terrible feeling that this movie will do what they did to Harriet the Spy - not offensive, exactly, but innocuous, anonymous, brightly-colored candy floss that keeps the stories' broadest conceits but strip them of their quirks and interesting characters. Rather than living in the mid-century landscape of Beverly Cleary's novels, the Quimbys will probably live in some bright, modern suburb and dress like tweens; this, after all, is what happened to Harriet M. Welsch. It's not that this is so egregious, but a little Squid and the Whale-style patina would have made Harriet the Spy feel like the book. Kids are not stupid; they can comprehend other times and places. The fact that the Ramona series was started some fifty years ago has done nothing to alienate millions of readers.

It's not like this movie's going to ruin anything. Like most crummy adaptations, it will come and go and people will keep loving the books and hoping against hope that maybe someone who really gets it will give the story its due. (This is basically what happened to the Sarah Polley Ramona series of the 80's, which was fairly true to the books but still lacked their essential humor.) Of course, not all good writing is cinematic, but some adaptations work, most of them for TV: I remember seeing an adaptation of Alan and Naomi that captured all that story's poignancy; a BBC version of A Little Princess from the 80's still works better than any of the big-screen versions. But none of these books was as closely associated with an iconic set of illustrations as are the "Ramona" books or "Harriet the Spy." Maybe that's part of why they feel like particular desecrations. We know what Beezus looks like, and it's not Selena Gomez.

'Ramona' star is ready for wackiness [USA Today]

• Emily Blunt and John Krasinski: totally sitting in a tree, kissing and whatevs. Perez suggests "Bluntinski" as their celeb couple nickname, but we feel we can do better! How about Krunt? Or EmJo? [Perez]

• Jim Carrey wanted to clear up the comments he made the other day on Larry King about Prozac's lack of long-term efficacy. "There are a lot of different ways to skin a cat," Carrey tells People, "It's important to think on our own…There is drug company money that goes into the educational system. I'm saying you have to look outside that, and consider the other possibilities for people." Thanks Jim. There's no possible way I could think for myself unless a celebrity told me how to. [People]
• Hugh Jackman says that Hollywood was not fun for his wife Deb, especially at the beginning. "When we first went to Hollywood people would ignore her. She’d call it the chopped liver syndrome. She would be literally hit away as [women] tried to get to me. It takes adjusting for me too. Sometimes I don’t understand why I am getting this attention." [Telegraph]
• Hugh Jackman's director in Australia, Baz Luhrmann, has a new project lined up for himself: a remake of the Great Gatsby. This could either be fantastic or a garish Technicolor travesty. Can't wait to find out which one! [Deadline Hollywood]
• William H. Macy will replace Jeremy "Thermometer" Piven in the David Mamet play Speed the Plow for part of the run. The role will be shared with Norbert Leo Butz. [NYM]
• There will be an Icelandic venture capital fund named for Bjork. The fund "will invest in sustainable businesses that create value through leveraging Iceland's resources, nature, culture and green energy." Who wouldn't want to buy into Bjork with those values! [AFP via Yahoo]
• Chris Brown and Rihanna: on a luxurious Hawaiian vacay. Us: jealous. [Perez]
• Cisco Adler, best known for his elephantine balls and dating Mischa Barton, will now be known as a dude who got arrested by another citizen in Fargo, North Dakota. Quoth Michael K. of Dlisted, "Following his performance at The Hub, Cisco got into a fight with a dude and while he was being kicked out of the club by security, he punched one of the employees in the nose. Before the police showed up and arrested him, the employee who got punched out performed a citizen's arrest on Cisco. CITIZEN'S ARREST! I love a good citizen's arrest." [Dlisted]
• David Bowie's stepdaughter, Stacia Lipka, won an $80,000 settlement against the City of New York after what sounds like a harrowing ordeal. "Lipka claimed Detectives Richard Vecchio and John Holbert violated her rights by photographing her nude body after she reported having been raped and was on suicide watch in October 2003…In addition to the lewd photo shoot at Staten Island's St. Vincent's Hospital, Lipka also claimed Vecchio molested her during one official visit." Vecchio was acquitted of criminal charges but was fired from the NYPD. [NYP]
• Which Celebs have the most followers on MySpace? Zach Braff, Kim Kardashian and Selena Gomez. A truly distinguished trio! [AP]
• Music icon Quincy Jones is sad about kids today and their lack of knowledge about music history. "I was in Seattle about a month ago, and I asked a kid, 'What do you think about Louis Armstrong?' And he said, 'I've heard the name,'" Q laments. "I said, 'What do you think about Duke Ellington and Charlie Parker and Coltrane?' He said, 'I've never heard of them.' And that hurts me a lot. Because it's easier to get where you're going if you know where you came from." Then he added, "Now get the hell off my yard!" [CNN]

• Good Morning, you have new president. His name is Barack Obama. No, he cannot start today. But soon. And he says: "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy… tonight is your answer." [People]
• Oprah on Barack Obama's win: "It's one of the greatest moments I could ever even imagine. That's how great it is." [ET]
• Courteney Cox and David Arquette hosted a Barack Obama victory party at their house in Beverly Hills. Jennifer Aniston, Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher were in attendance; champagne was had. Meanwhile, in Chicago, Brad Pitt and Oprah Winfrey watched Obama's speech live. Also psyched: George Clooney and Usher. [E!]
• George Clooney: "I congratulate President-elect Obama on his historic victory, and now it's time to begin unifying the country so we can take on the extraordinary challenges that this generation faces." [ET]
• Oprah again: "This is democracy at its finest." [ET]
• In other news, Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. Supposedly. More in Midweek Madness. [Star]

• Britney Spears is on the cover of Australian Cosmopolitan, and they used a photograph tat is five years old. She looks good, though. [TMZ]
• Nikki Blonsky will guest star on Ugly Betty as an assistant from a rival magazine. Will there be an airport-style kerfluffle? [E!]
• Perez Hilton got served! With legal papers: Liz Silver, who runs the Web site PerezRevenge.com, is accusing him of plagiarism and copyright infringement. She had a friend crash his Halloween party and hand him papers. [Page Six]
• Blind items! 1. "Which aggressive TV, stage and movie actor has a shady past? Rumor is he sexually assaulted a girl while in high school and his family had the situation 'swept under the rug.' 2. "Which screen god isn't as happy as he and his paramour would like the world to think? Whenever the couple and their children are in LA, he 'goes to a bar in a Beverly Hills hotel and drinks for hours before going home." 3. "Which oft-photographed socialite/designer is losing her grip on the fashion world? Luxury brands no longer send her clothing and accessories and don't want her in their ad campaigns." [Page Six]
• Holly Madison is "depressed" about calling it quits with Hugh Hefner, but basically, she claims, "I got too old for Hef." Yeah, that's right: She's 28 and too old for the original Playboy. She now sleeps in a guest room. "I still work for him. We're still best friends. I still call and check in on him almost everyday." [Newser via Extra]
• More from Holly: "It might be refreshing to date someone who is not high maintenance. Sorry, Hef, you know you're high maintenance. I love you but you know you're high maintenance." [Perez Hilton]
• The rest of Janet Jackson's tour: Officially canceled. They say scheduling conflicts. Could it also be vertigo? Or crappy ticket sales? [Perez Hilton]
• Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty are both off of NME's "Cool List" this year. Drugs and jail are bad for your career, kids! [The Sun]
• CNN's Christiane Amanpour may finally get her own show. It's about time! [Page Six]
• A top Hollywood agent — who repped Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Aniston and Matthew McConaughey — insulted his clients, stole gifts sent to them, and discussed their private parts, a lawsuit alleges. [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie explains War and Peace in her household: "We don't take war and violence lightly, but we don't hide it from anybody. Listen, my kids play video games. I let them play with toy soldiers. We say, 'Mommy and Daddy have movies where we play these characters, but there's real death and real violence in the world. There's a real responsibility there to create in their minds the difference between the two." Also, when Mommy visits Afghanistan, she wears a flak jacket. [People]
• Anne Hathaway's new man is an actor named Adam Shulman. He's cute. [Perez Hilton]
• The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) is not happy about when Nelson's use of "that's so gay" in a scene with Milhouse on The Simpsons. [TMZ, E!]
• 50 Cent's new TV show, 50 Cent: The Money and the Power, airs tomorrow on MTV. Fourteen "wannabe moguls" compete to earn a $100,000 investment from the rapper by doing challenges like walking through Brooklyn chained together. No, really. There's a clip. [People]
• Christina Aguilera's new TV commercial for Target has a comic-book feel, meaning she wears a red jumpsuit and a cape. At least she seems to know who Roy Lichtenstein is. (There's video of her talking about the spot.) [People]
• Don't tell anyone, but Keanu Reeves is a secret genius. He reads Proust and stuff. Shh! [Newser via Details]
• Cammy Diaz: Seen smoking like a fiend and being rude at Drew Barrymore's Halloween party. [Page Six]
• Charlie Sheen left his pregnant wife at home to go party at get lap dances in Las Vegas because he is Charlie Sheen. [Star]
• Guy Ritchie has hired a top family lawyer to handle his custody battle with Madonna. She's already got a top divorce lawyer. Ever heard the joke about he little girl at the cemetery? She asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" Her mom said, "Of course not, Why would you think that?" And the girl answered: "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie went out for drinks and now the Brit tabs are calling him "Tipsy Ritchie." [The Sun]
• Tina Fey's Emmys and SNL appearances may be translating into more 30 Rock viewers. She deserves it! [AP]
• Hindu leaders are not amused by Heidi Klum's Kali Halloween costume. [Best Week Ever]
• Katie Holmes and Rebecca Gayheart were friends 16 years ago, way before Katie met Tom Cruise. According to Roger Friedman, after Katie met Tom, "Gayheart, like most of Holmes’s friends, never saw her or heard from her again." But now Gayheart's in a Broadway play right around the corner from All My Sons. Will they reunite? [Fox 411]
• Have mercy: Janice Dickinson was on some afternoon court TV show, being sued by one of her former models. Judge Christina (???) listened to her crazy-ass defense are ruled in her favor. [ONTD]
• Sharon Osbourne on Simon Cowell's break-up: "He deserves it. He's a t****r, that's the truth." Hmm, what's that word there? Tosser? Anyone? [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell gave Terri Seymour $5 million cash and another $4.6 to buy a Beverly Hills home as a parting gift. Simon, break up with me next! [MSNBC]
• Oh, and Simon says: "Don't worry about me - I don't need a lonely hearts ad. I'm off women now." [Mirror]
• Daniel Craig in a Bollywood film? "I am open to offers from India… Till now I haven't been fortunate enough to get hold of an Indian movie. But yes, I will be very honoured and excited to work with an Indian actor or actress on any given chance. I also feel very obliged for the immense popularity which I enjoy in this part of the world." [ONTD]
• Katie "Jordan" Price was named Britain's Best-Loved Celebrity Mum because "she's not perfect." [Mirror]
• Liz Hurley's husband likes it when she dresses like a tart. "Like the vast majority of men, Arun likes short, tight, sexy dresses." Here's the good news: So does Liz. [The Sun]
• Expect to see a lot of Jennifer Hudson headlines like this (this isn't the first one): "Hudson Begged Mother To Move Out Of Neighborhood." [Daily Express]
• Denis Leary is the voice of Ford Trucks. Don't worry, he makes no mention of autism in the commercials. [Business Week]
• Singer Duffy accidentally set her hair on fire in her dressing room in Cleveland. Candles are soothing yet dangerous! [ONTD]
• Matthew Broderick quotes Ferris Bueller in this prObama video. [Newser via HuffPo]
• Carrie Underwood won't tell you who she voted for, so stop asking. [People]
• Cindy McCain "has this evil queen beauty about her," quoth Project Runway's Austin Scarlett, whilst seen voting in New York. [NY Observer]
• Apropos of nothing: "Mariah Carey's Top 10 Maddest Moments." [Mirror]
• Audrina of The Hills moved out but LC was cool with it blahblahblah JustinBobby blahblahblah. [People]
• Corrie Loftin of Paris Hilton's My New BFF was once ins a Girls Gone Wild video. And hanging out with Paris is different… how? [E!]
• "Sporty Spice," Mel C says: "I know there’s been a lot of things written recently saying I’m getting married and they’ve said the date and the church and that Victoria’s organizing it, but, no, we’ve got no plans." Seems she wants to have the baby first. [The Sun]
• Did Ivana Trump's young Italian husband cheat on her with a hot Italian model? "Nothing sexual happened. That I know for sure," she writes in Page Six Magazine. "I'm not going to make any other comment until I speak to him." Good idea! [Page Six]
• Selena Gomez, 16-year-old budding Disney star, was asked if she reads tabloids: "Recently, I have not. I'm actually very, very proud of myself. Honestly, the blog sites and everything — I'd be on them nonstop. I've gone four weeks total without looking at them and I'm very proud and very happy. I was addicted. It was bad." [LA Times]
• Courtenay Semel's dad, former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel, has cut her off. What's a girl to do? A reality show, obvs. [Page Six]
• For the last time: Joe The Plumber did not hook up with any SNL cast member. [Politico]
• Simply Red's Mick Hucknall, yes, that's right, Mick Hucknall, paid £29,000 for a pair of David Beckham's football cleats in 2002 and they seem to have lost about £25,000 in value since then. Surely he's wishing he really could be holding back the years. [Mirror]
• Reading about Bianca Jagger being in an argument over a €200,000 ring she lost in Salzburg earlier this year is like reading about a goblin surfing on Mars: Sounds interesting, but I just can't relate. [Yahoo News]
• Very cool, worth-your-while profile of Diahann Carroll. She says: "Dynasty was rather marvellous, you know. It was all about the clothes. The most important thing about the day was wardrobe, and of course I explained to Aaron [Spelling] I didn't want to be on the show unless I could be bitchy." She also says: "I lost two children [to miscarriage]. That's why when we talk about racism it will always take third, fourth, fifth place to some of the other things that have happened to me that are much more meaningful than being in a room with an idiot who is going to judge the color of my skin." [Guardian]
• "Having a love is a gigantic bonus in life, but I wasn't unhappy when I was single, either. (John)'s just fun, so much fun. I'm very happy now." Bo Derek, who's living with John Corbett, aka Aidan from Sex And The City. [The Sun]
• "I enjoyed being Mayor of Carmel, but you do see that it is very difficult to get things done. You just have to lose your soul. You have to bullshit people. You have to deal with people you don't care for and will never be friends with, so you kind of sell yourself out to be a politician. You have to kiss it up with the world. That ain't my style." — Clint Eastwood. [Daily Express]
• "I'd always fall for guys I wanted to save. For the first time, I fell in love with someone who saved me." — Jessica Simpson on Tony Romo. [People]
• "I would rather be sexy like Simone Signoret or Anna Magnani than like - oy, vey - Paris Hilton" - Erica Jong to More. [Page Six]
• "Barack Obama's treated like the Messiah in England. We don't have particularly inspirational politicians, certainly no one who can draw crowds in the thousands." — Daniel Radcliffe. [Page Six]
• "I think every black kid will tomorrow will be one inch taller when he goes to school. And I think everyone will be energized. And a lot of people who had given up hope in the last seven eight years are hopeful." — Richard Belzer. [Observer]

The Good:
Hey, no one said Selena Gomez didn't look cute, just that there were a weird number of pics of her. Is she still poised to be "the new Miley" or has Disney chilled out?
The grown woman in me thinks Leonor Varela's Grecian gown is kind of cheesy. The five-year-old in me thinks she looks like a beautiful princess.
Call me crazy, I think Dania Ramirez's over-the-top avian-Vegas confection works! Yes, the belt is problematic, but it seems to scream... Holly Golightly goes to a Dali exhibition.


The Bad:
Daniella Polanco could have searched far and wide and not found anything more unflattering than this lace tablecloth meets Molly Ringwald's prom 'dress' from Pretty in Pink.

Yolanda Perez looks like she's coated in molten bronze. And yes, it looks painful.
Eva La Rue is being slowly consumed by a giant ruffle. I think this could actually be darling without the hint of fussiness the jabot imparts.
The former lounge singer in me also likes Kate del Castillo's sequined second skin, but sanity prevails.
If one were to stack a number of muffin tin liners, the effect would be almost as unfortunate as Yvette Yates's skirt. Bold? Perhaps. But half of the virtue of courage is the possibility of failure, no?

Images via Getty, Wenn, AP