1. They were invited to the White House.

This is the most basic of the Salahis' bullshit claims, founded on an email exchange they had with Pentagon aide Michele Jones. As the AP's Julie Pace and Eileen Sullivan reported last night, the crashers "asked a national television audience to take their word that the e-mail exchange would show that they were invited to the dinner for the visiting Indian prime minister." In fact, Jones emailed the day before the dinner to say "it doesn't seem likely" the Salahis could attend. The morning of the dinner, Jones wrote that she would "call or e-mail as soon as I get word one way or another." She later left a voicemail stating that they weren't invited. The Secret Service confirms the couple weren't on the guest list, and that the guard who admitted them "was persuaded by the couple's manner and insistence as well as the pressure of keeping lines moving on a rainy evening." In other words, he was had.

2. Their phone died.

The Salahis claim their cell phone battery died just in time for them to miss Ms. Jones's voicemail message saying they couldn't get an invitation to the White House. But since they explicitly told Jones to reach them by phone, and they were waiting to hear about an event that was extremely important to them, wouldn't they go to the trouble of keeping their phone charged? And don't these polo-playing socialites each have a cell phone?

3. They decided to show up at the White House "to just check" if they were invited.

Tareq and Michaele Salahi say they went to the White House at 6:30 on the night of the dinner "to just check in, in case it got approved since we didn't know, and our name was indeed on the list!" First of all, they weren't on the list. Second of all, if they were really planning to just drop by and see, would Michaele Salahi have invested in a sari (assuming she didn't just have one lying around)? Would she have spent seven hours getting ready in a Georgetown hair salon, with a camera crew from The Real Housewives of DC taping all the while? Also, who shows up at a party to check if they're invited? Note to the Salahis: if you're not sure, that's a good sign the answer is "no".

4. They were keeping tabs on Harry Reid's holiday plans.

This is less bullshit and more just plain creepy. According to the AP, Tareq Salahi wrote to Michele Jones "with a list of people he said were invited to the dinner but unable to make it, including Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nev., and his wife." How on earth did he get this list? Why was he snooping into Harry Reid's party plans? The same question comes up again and again in relation to the Salahis: who does this?

5. They run a major nonprofit.

The web site of America's Polo Cup, the Salahis' yearly event, says it is "patroned every year by the President of the United States." And Tareq Salahi claims the 2007 event raised $250,000 for the charity Journey for the Cure. But it appears no president has ever attended the Polo Cup. And Journey for the Cure only donated $15,000 in 2007 — an amount dwarfed by the more than $100,000 the Salahis owe vendors and service providers they never paid for their work at the event. Also, "patroned?"

6. This is "the most devastating thing that has ever happened" to them.

Tareq Salahi claims the fallout from the crashing has been "the most devastating thing that has ever happened" to his wife, and that "our lives have really been destroyed." But what about when they were escorted out of the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation Dinner in September after they were found sitting in someone else's seats? They seem to have recovered from that mortification enough to crash another party just a few months later. And concerning their general devastation, Lisa de Moraes of the Washington Post says it well:

Michaele is ready for her close-up:

"It's been really unbearable to go through," she wailed from the Four Seasons hotel in Georgetown, where she had arrived nearly two hours earlier so people could put on her perfect makeup and dress her spectacular hair.

"Our lives have been destroyed," she added blondly.

The Salahis have received the fame and attention they so brazenly sought. It's hard to believe that's "unbearable."

WH Gate-Crashers Went Without Confirmed Invitation [AP]
Gatecrashers' E-mail Shows No Confirmed Invitation [Washington Post]
Who's Sari Now? [NYT]
Salahis Insist They Didn't Crash White House Dinner [LA Times]
A New Field Of Inquiry: Salahis' Polo Cup [MSNBC]
Who Are These People? The Climbers At The Gate [Washington Post]
The Salahis Get A Taste Of Reality TV: An NBC Interview [Washington Post]

In the clip above, Tareq Salahi tells Matt Lauer that he and his wife were not crashers, and that they've "been misrepresented by the media and other paparazzi forums." (Paparazzi forums?) The curiously blank-faced Michaele Salahi claims that their lives have been destroyed by the experience — she says, "everything we worked for, Matt. For me, 44 years, just destroyed." It's an interesting statement, given that the Salahis' stunt has actually given them the national fame they apparently craved — but of course, they swear it wasn't a stunt at all. The pair say they're not at liberty to discuss how they were actually invited to the state dinner, so their current evidence for their innocence is the lame assertion that "no one" would try to crash a party at the White House. Michaele confusingly explains, "the White House, it is the house, and no one would do that." (Irony alert: Tareq also claims, "Our homes have been invaded.") Then they say some vague shit about how they're "working with the Secret Service" and finish up with the claim that they'll soon be "completely exonerated."

Of course, pretty much everyone else involved is sticking to the story that the Salahis are complete charlatans. They mention emails that will exonerate them — their correspondent in these emails may be Michele Jones, special assistant to the secretary of defense, who says she actually told them they weren't invited. Jones elaborates,

I did not state at any time, or imply that I had tickets for ANY portion of the evening's events. I specifically stated that they did not have tickets and in fact that I did not have the authority to authorize attendance, admittance or access to any part of the evening's activities. Even though I informed them of this, they still decided to come.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs also disputes the Salahis' version of events, telling Meredith Vieira that "this wasn't a misunderstanding," Gibbs said. "You don't show up at the White House as a misunderstanding." Furthermore, Gibbs says both Barack and Michelle Obama are angry about the Salahis' unauthorized attendance. Though some blame social secretary Desiree Rogers for not posting a representative from her office at the White House East Gate, Gibbs points out that the Secret Service could easily have checked with the social office about guests, and did not do so. He says,

I appreciate the observation that somebody could or could not have been at a certain gate. But again, you could pick up the phone…You don't have to be standing in my office for me to convey information to you.

In a teaser for the Today appearance, Tareq Salahi says "the truth will soon come out." But at least for now, the truth appears to be that White House security procedures were lax enough to allow a couple who had been specifically told they weren't invited to attend a state dinner and shake hands with the President. It's worth asking whether Michele Jones knew about the Salahis' history — they reportedly previously crashed the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation Dinner, though of course they claim they were also invited to that — and whether she ought to have informed the Secret Service that they were trying to finagle their way in. But whatever Jones's involvement, the fact remains that everyone in America is lucky that the Salahis were simply fame-whores with no more serious plans than getting on a reality show. While their inarticulate performance on Today and their ludicrous past — maybe we should all check out family albums to make sure they didn't crash our parties — are amusing, the fact remains that they committed a very serious security breach. It's no wonder the Adminstration is angry.

Salahis: "We Were Invited, Not Crashers" [MSNBC]
Salahis Sought Gala Access Through A Pentagon Door [Washington Post]
Breach Ups Scrutiny On Social Office [Politico]
Have Salahis Done This Before? [Politico]
On NBC, Virginia Couple Denies Crashing State Dinner [USA Today]

Few dispute that the Salahis' admission to the dinner honoring Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was a serious oversight by the Secret Service and the White House staff. Bush appointee Cathy Hargraves, former White House "assistant for arrangements," says it used to be her job to physically check guests off a list at the White House's East Gate portico entrance. But when Obama took office, social secretary Desiree Rogers told her the position would no longer be needed because, "In these economic times, I don't think we're going to have very many lavish expensive dinners. It wouldn't look very good." As a result, no one from the White House social office was at the East Gate to check if arrivals were actually invited guests. Rebecca Dana and Lloyd Grove at the Daily Beast hint that Rogers herself, who attended the dinner as a guest (in a dress that, for what it's worth, I think is cool) rather than staffing it, may be abandoning the social secretary's real responsibilities. But a White House official says the Secret Service was supposed to check with a social office employee about any questionable guests, and that they never did so.

Secret Service Director Mark Patterson issued a statement reading, in part,

Although these individuals went through magnetometers and other levels of screening, they should have been prohibited from entering the event entirely. That failing is ours. [...] While we have protocols in place to address these situations, we must ensure that they are followed each and every time.

As our investigation continues, appropriate measures have been taken to ensure this is not repeated.

Both the House of Representatives and the Obama administration have plans to review Secret Service security procedures. Meanwhile, the more we learn about the gatecrashers, the worse they look. It's been widely reported that Michaele Salahi was angling for a spot on The Real Housewives of D.C., and her path to "fame" apparently included a lot of stretching the truth. Salahi claimed she had been both a "supermodel" and a Washington Redskins cheerleader, though there is no evidence she was either. And her husband Tareq's polo organization hosted a match in the spring, supposedly to benefit a children's charity run by the Salahis and called the Journey for the Cure Foundation. But a few days later, the state of Virginia issued a warning that the foundation had "not registered with or been granted the appropriate exempt status by the Commissioner as required by law."

So what's the proper punishment for these small-time charlatans turned big-time party-crashers? Sens. Evan Bayh and John Kyl think federal charges should be brought against them. Republican political operative Ed Rollins concurs, suggesting, "These people want a reality TV show, give them one. It's called ‘Dealing With the Federal Prosecution System of the District of Columbia.'" Our favorite suggestion comes from Tareq Salahi's own mom, Corinne Salahi, who says, "I think they need a spanking." But perhaps the best punishment for the Salahi's would be denying them the attention they so brazenly seek. Unfortunately, given the boost their stunt has delivered to the Real Housewives franchise, that's not very likely to happen.

Secret Service Agents Interview Intruders [NYT]
White House Guest List Chief Says She Quit Post [Newsweek]
U.S.S.S. Head On Security Breach [Politico]
'They Need A Spanking' [Daily Beast]
Days Of Wine And Poses [Washington Post]

[Paris, June 7. Image via Getty]

An US secret services officer takes position on US First Lady Michelle Obama's convoy on June 07, 2009 during her visit in Paris. The US first family took a long ramble through the Pompidou modern art museum this morning in Paris as President Barack Obama stole a few hours of private time at the end of a breakneck diplomatic tour. AFP PHOTO / MARTIN BUREAU (Photo credit should read MARTIN BUREAU/AFP/Getty Images)

• This is an actual direct mail piece from the Virginia Republican Party, encouraging people to vote against "evil." I encourage people to vote against evil, too — the kind of evil that would stoke racial fears to win an election. [Mark Halperin]
• Also, please vote against the kind of evil that thinks it's funny to put a picture of Obama on a fake food stamp adorned with fried chicken and watermelon. That would be the evil that comes out of the California group Chaffey Community Republican Women [The Press Enterprise]
• Or the kind that suggests that Obama's mother would've aborted him had she the legal right to, so he should consider taking away that right from other people. [National Review]

• Joe The Plumber isn't really named Joe, isn't really a licensed plumber, wouldn't really pay more in taxes under Obama's plan — but he might have to pay his back taxes now. Naughty, naughty. Oh, and because his name is misspelled on his voter registration card, he'd be stopped from casting his ballot if he was a newbie. [NY Times, Politico]
• The Secret Service is now actively separating the press from McCain supporters, which is rather a broad interpretation of their mission to protect the candidate. [Washington Post]
• Unsurprisingly, the FBI and Justice Department are investigating ACORN "for any evidence of a coordinated national scam." Because that's likely. [Huffington Post]
• That lobbyist, Vicki Iseman, who the New York Times said had an affair with John McCain broke her silence and said that she didn't. She thinks she got dragged into it because of some bad feelings between former McCain aide John Weaver and current McCain aide Rick Davis, but who knows. [National Journal]
• But just to end things on an upbeat note for once, go read the inspiring story of civil rights leader Andrew Young who got to cast a ballot for a black Presidential candidate today. It's sweet. [Traverse City Record Eagle]

• Cudmudgeonly uncle-anchor Jack Cafferty has disappointed millions of women everywhere by saying, "Viagra is used to treat a medical condition, erectile dysfunction. Birth control is a lifestyle choice," when discussing John McCain's little birth control gaffe. Jack, sweetie, birth control pills do treat medical conditions and there's a good economic argument (pregnancy is expensive) for covering them. Erectile dysfunction, however, is God's way of telling you to keep it in your pants, old man. [Crooks & Liars]
• John McCain has proved a disappointment to the Secret Service by letting slip details of Barack Obama's highly secret-for-his-own-safety trip to Iraq and Afghanistan. Man, he really will do anything to keep playing his commercial about how Obama's never been. [Talking Points Memo, The Atlantic]

• By the way, McCain also doesn't know if Obama is a Socialist or not. I don't know that John McCain doesn't drink Cindy's drug-filled urine as a sedative, either. What don't you know? [HuffPo]
• The full list of Starbucks closures is now available. Caffeinated Washingtonians rejoice: Only one in D.C.! [HuffPo]
• Harold Ford got booed at Netroots Nation because he used to work at Fox News, but not because he used to date Julia Allison. [HuffPo]
• The German government has decided to let Obama speak — at the Victory Column, not the Brandenburg Gate because the Bushies kinda asked them not to. Wankers. [HuffPo]
• Scott Peterson has a blog. I think we can finally call this blogging trend over; no one's ever going to believe we're normal people now. [CNN]
• Greta Van Susteren, like, totally swears that she knows someone who knows someone whose anti-Obama copy was watered down at CNN, not that it ever happened to her and she's totally got journalistic freedom (if not freedom from the plastic surgery requirement) at Fox News and is she up for a new contract soon or something? [Fishbowl NY]