<![CDATA[Jezebel: secret lives of women]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: secret lives of women]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/secretlivesofwomen http://jezebel.com/tag/secretlivesofwomen <![CDATA[No Longer Quivering: Breaking Out Of The Movement (Army Of Kids In Tow)]]> If you caught yesterday's Secret Lives of Women, you'll know it didn't contain that many insights into the Quiverfull lifestyle - possibly because it was titled "Born to Breed?" The most interesting by far? The woman who left the movement:

As we've read, the Quiverfulls are an evangelical movement for whom God's will is birth control and the more Christian children one produces, the more soldiers for the Lord. Those whom we see - famously, the Duggars - as well as two of the families featured on last night's program, run tight, happy ships in which frugality and organization trump the inevitable challenges of a double-digit brood.

And while, whatever you think of the messianic message - let alone environmental responsibility - of the Quiverfulls, there's no denying the amazing job a lot of these families do, there's probably a reason they're the ones we see. And that's what makes Vyckie Garrison all the more noteworthy. Formerly a prominent member of the community who wrote a popular newsletter and home-schooled 7 children, Garrison made waves when she left the movement, divorced her husband, and began speaking out against the lifestyle. (Read her statement here.)

As author Kathryn Joyce told it in a Salon piece,

She may have looked like the perfect Quiverfull wife, but Garrison was struggling to care for her seven children, three of whom have a rare bone disease, while juggling the demands of her husband and coping with difficult pregnancies. Though she preached patriarchy to her readers, practicing it at home required a major suspension of disbelief. Her husband, Warren, had been blinded in a work accident years earlier and had trouble keeping a job. Garrison founded her paper in part to create a sales position for him, to maintain the illusion of his heading their family. But Warren chafed against his dependency and was verbally abusive, Garrison says, browbeating her and the children into frightened compliance.

A central theme of last night's program was the burden the lifestyle placed on Vyckie's eldest daughter, Angel. While Angel dutifully and devotedly cared for her younger siblings and assumed many household responsibilities -especially following Vyckie's difficult births - the overwhelming pressure took a toll on her. While it's clear that such setups demand the cooperation of older siblings - think of the Duggars' famously efficient "buddy system" - we aren't often treated to the consequences of losing one's youth in so archaic a fashion. In Angel's case, the unending demands led to self-harm, depression and, ultimately, a suicide attempt.

Angel and Vyckie clearly have no regrets about leaving the movement; Vyckie and her mother talk about how the children have blossomed in public school, while Angel has fallen been able to study - as well as date and fall in love - which would not have been options before. Vyckie, along with a fellow ex-Quiverfull, run a blog called No Longer Quivering, which is frankly critical of the movement, and of some of its most vocal proponents (also featured in the documentary.) She claims there's pressure to present a perfect facade, and that's doubtless true, particularly for prominent members of the community. One thing's for sure, and that's Vyckie's assertion that "there's no one size fits all parenting." Even if some families can run their homes with the blissful efficiency we see, that's a very, very special skill-set - and being the benevolent "patriarch," as Vyckie's story shows, is equally challenging.

No Longer Qivering ‹(ô¿ô)›
All God's Children [Salon]

Earlier: Like Big Families? Meet The Quiverfulls
Born To Breed [WE]

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<![CDATA[Secret Lives Of Women Explores Connection Between Addiction, Extreme Diets]]> In the preview clip at left from the new season of The Secret Lives of Women, chef Gabrielle Brick explains how discovering the raw-foods lifestyle instantly cured her alcohol and cocaine addiction. But has she traded one addiction for another?

Though in general following a raw food diet is not an eating disorder, Brick's story (which will air in its entirety when the WE series returns on August 18), raises questions about the connection between addiction and extremely restrictive diets. Numerous studies have found eating disorders and alcohol and drug addictions frequently co-occur, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, and Psychiatric Times reports some researchers have even claimed eating disorders are a form of addiction.

Brick's description of her new lifestyle, from organizing her life around her raw foods diet, to getting extreme bursts of energy, to limiting her social life to those who share her habits, sounds similar to the way an addict might describe their life. It's possible the impulses that led her to become an addict have been channeled into another extreme lifestyle, though clearly following a raw foods diet has left her much happier, and probably healthier, than most of us.

Eating Disorders And Alcohol Use Disorders [National Institute On Alcohol Abuse And Alcoholism]
Addiction And The Eating Disorders [Psychiatric Times]

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<![CDATA[The Secret Lives Of Women: Should Marriage Be A Family Affair?]]> Last night, The Secret Lives of Women featured a young engaged couple who seemed like two clean-cut, completely normal kids — except for the fact that Kyle's dad and Kari's mom are siblings, making them first cousins. In the clip above, they describe what it's like to fall for your future spouse during childhood Christmases at Grandma's house. Kyle and Kari say that genetics shouldn't keep them from being together or even having a family, since their risk of having a child with a genetic problem is about the same as that of a woman over 40. In other countries, as many as 20-50% of marriages are between close relatives, so why is loving your cousin so taboo in America?

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<![CDATA[The Secret Lives Of Women: The Making Of A Mistress]]> Last night on WE, The Secret Lives of Women took a look at “mistresses,” from women having affairs with married men to a dominatrix named Christian. We were going to bring you a clip in which Christian and her client “Bert” explain why they don’t think what they do counts as cheating, but, to technical errors, the clip was unavailable. We did, however, stumble upon this video, which exposes WE’s nefarious editing techniques. In the show I watched last night, Christian explained that her behavior as a child foreshadowed her career because “at the age of five I was tying boys to trees in the backyard.” In the unedited clip above, we learn the real tip-off that little Christian would someday whip businessmen for a living. I don’t want to spoil it, but it involves dog tranquilizers, peeing in a hole... and a straw.

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