• Lindsay Lohan thew a fit at the G-Star runway show:

She arrived with sister Ali in tow, wouldn't pose for photos and didn't like her seats. So, naturally, she threw the seating cards for Juliette Lewis, Christian Siriano, and Taylor Momsen on the floor. When event producers tried to approach her, she sniped, "Don't fucking touch me," and rolled her eyes. Of course, I found pix of her posing so grain of salt. [Page Six]

• Mischa Barton was at the G-star after party, drunk and saying "Like, I'm with the deejay. I totally know the deejay. I'm here for the deejay." [Page Six]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga were supposed to start a Fame Kills tour later this fall, but it looks like Kanye may have been serious about taking some time off: Tour date listings have been removed from the Ticketmaster website. [LA Times]
• Pink has a separated shoulder! "It hurts," she says. She couldn't do any of the aerial parts of her trapeze-oriented show in Seattle on Tuesday night, but won't cancel tour dates. [People]
• Katie Holmes took Suri to Beyoncé's concert in Australia on Tuesday night, and Suri wore "industrial earmuffs." [News.com.au]
• Jennifer Lopez was spotted at the White House "with an entourage bigger than President Obama's Secret Service detail." [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's community service has begun; click for a pic of him in an orange vest. He doesn't seem too… contrite; he Tweeted, "check out my outfit." [Ny Daily News]
• Why haven't we seen Mo'Nique promoting new film Precious? She will be on the Today show this morning, but she wasn't at the Toronto Film festival (Mariah Carey, Gabby Sidibe, Sherri Shephard, and Paula Patton were there) and rumors are that she wants to be paid for appearances. A studio spokesperson says it isn't true. [Showbiz 411]
• Charlize Threron is naked in the opening scene of her new film, The Burning Plain but says: "I'm not some exhibitionist. I think people think I just love walking around naked. When you start making it about yourself, you stand in the way of doing your job. I have to sit in an editing room with [director] Guillermo Arriaga and a bunch of execs, and if I had to sit there and think about myself and these men watching me, I think that would make me insecure. I'm just like every other girl out there. I would cringe." And: "There was a time in my life where I understood actors who said they don't like watching themselves. But when I made the mental switch that I was not watching myself and watching an actual character, that was the day I actually could look at things from a distance." [USA Today]
• "The uncle Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher helped put behind bars for molesting two girls has died in prison." [Daily Express]
• Sean Penn and beyond foxy Sports Illustrated model Jessica White: "Together all the time." [NY Daily News]
• Jason Schwartzman's new HBO show, Bored To Death, his most high-profile roles ever. Although he also loves books and music, acting gives him focus: "When I all of sudden became a part of Rushmore, it was like a giant acupuncture needle or something. It just put everything in line for me. It was like going to the emotional chiropractor. I was so disjointed as a teenager, from being unpopular or from being not the guy that girls liked - just feeling like an outsider, just being a dork." [AP]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Danish Girl, about the first man to undergo a sex-change operation in 1931. I know it's early but I have to say that I'm sort of scared about the medical technology back then and its proximity to genitalia. [NY Daily News]
• Bruce Willis and wife: Moving into L.A.'s new Carlyle Residences, where apartments go for $2.9-$15 million. The new pad has a private wine cellar and elevator. [E!]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean was a riding in a $200,000 Bentley on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. when his friend wrecked the car. Sean was renting it from Beverly Hills Rent-A-Car for $2,500 a day. [TMZ]
• Jasmine Guy: Deep in debt, thanks to a divorce. In related news, she has joined the cast of the new CW show Vampire Diaries as the GRANDMOTHER of one of the characters. A different world, indeed. [TMZ, Buddy TV]
• Director Jane Campion got an admiring letter from Quentin Tarantino about her latest effort, Bright Star. "It was a love letter, really, about the film," she says. "I am really touched. He is one of my biggest heroes of the current generation, I think he is a genius so it was surprising." Asked about what it takes to make movies likes hers, Campion said with a smile: "I am not very submissive." [Reuters]
• Joe Francis tried to crash a party being thrown by Frankie Delgado but was thrown out, mostly because Frankie is bff with Brody Jenner and Brody and Joe had a scuffle a couple of weeks ago. Related: I don't care about any of these people. [E!]
• "Fuming Barbra Streisand fans claim she rigged a 'cute pet competition.' so one of her friends could win priceless tickets to her upcoming Village Vanguard show." [Page Six]
• Burt Reynolds, who just went into rehab, is already out, it seems. [Reuters, Mirror]
• Jon Bon Jovi totally understands why former members of Nirvana are upset about Kurt Cobain's character in Guitar Hero 5 being able to play songs by other bands in the game. "I don't know that I would have wanted it either. To hear someone else's voice coming out of a cartoon version of me? I don't know. It sounds a little forced." [BBC News]
• "Paul McCartney topped a poll of Americans' favorite Beatles, but nearly a quarter of those surveyed said they didn't like the British rock group." [Reuters]
• Katie "Jordan" Price named her celebrity rapist on camera but "terrified" lawyers banned his identity from being broadcast. [The Sun]
• Q. After you dropped out of school at 16, you were a drummer in a punk rock band. What was that like? "It was a wild time. It involved a lot of drinking and fighting, but I'm not sure if I was being a punk rocker or just Scottish." — Craig Ferguson. [USA Today]
• "She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong! It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep- or don't keep. "It's painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him." — Madonna's brother, Christopher Ciccone, on his sister's look at the VMAs. [E!]
• Q. Did you really write the book's first chapter on your iPhone? "I actually did. I was amazed it had this little keyboard in it. I'm a techno-moron and it had this keyboard that spellchecked as you wrote. It was a good way to start writing the novel because I wasn't taking it seriously, I was just checking out my phone. The rest I wrote by hand." — Nick Cave on his second novel, The Death of Bunny Munro. [Time]
• "It's always so hard for me to describe a film I'm in, as it's so subjective. It's about a lot of different people living in Paris, and a mix of many sides of life, not all happy ones. If you don't go to the bottom, you don't know what joy is, and to explore life you have to plunge head first and take risks. And the way we're brought up with this whole view of life as black and white, good and bad, is completely false, because in life everything is transformable, and something bad can actually be very good, and vice versa. So it's about all those ideas." — Juliette Binoche on her new film, Paris. [Reuters]
• "Yeah. But I don't want to elaborate. I would never call myself a cutter. Girls go through different phases when they're growing up, when they're miserable and do different things, whether it's an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting… I never think I'm worthy of anything... I have a sick feeling of being mocked all the time. I have a lot of self-loathing." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone, when asked if she had ever cut herself. [NY Daily News]
• "I made my wife appreciate it. She was a good sport. I paraded around. I loved my body. I walked around, danced — dancing with a belly like that was fun. My stepdaughter loved it, too. She kept poking me in the stomach, laughing." — Matt Damon on gaining 30 pounds for The Informant!. [USA Today]
• "Jennifer is one of the coolest women I've ever met. She's so smart." — Gerard Butler on Ms. Aniston. [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]

• This report calls Jennifer Aniston "lovelorn" and "notoriously unlucky-in-love" but explains that she has "set her sights" on Gerard Butler, which is "cause for renewed optimism." What does all this really mean? It's simple:

They're going to be in another movie together. [Daily Mail]

• Lindsay Lohan was seen hanging out with Mel B after the Spice Girl's Peepshow revue in Vegas. Also, she maybe exchanged numbers with a GUY. [Daily Mail]
• Jackie Chan told a "business forum" that Chinese people may not need a free society. "I'm not sure if it's good to have freedom or not," Chan said Saturday. "I'm gradually beginning to feel that we Chinese need to be controlled. If we're not being controlled, we'll just do what we want." Pro-democracy peeps are pissed, obvs; one guy says: "He's insulted the Chinese people. Chinese people aren't pets." [MSNBC]
• Kate Hudson turned 30 with a "star-studded" bash on Friday night, but Owen Wilson wasn't there. Who was? Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Justin Timberlake, Matthew McConaughey, Tobey Maguire, Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gwen Stefani, Eva Mendes, Zach Braff and, of course, Cher. [People]
• The woman who broke into Britney Spears' property says she is not a stalker and the "documentary" she was filming while peeping inside Britney's windows with a camera was "paparazzi work preparation" because she would like to do some "paparazzi gigs." [E!]
• Madonna, who fell from her horse in the Hamptons on Saturday, is blaming the paparazzi for jumping out of the bushes and scaring the horse. Of course, she was thrown from a horse in 2005, so who knows. [Mirror]
• The only paparazzo who took pictures of Madonna riding her horse says her Madgesty is a liar. He says he took pix of Madge riding, then left. Then 30 minutes later he got a tip about an ambulance being sent; so he went back and took pix of her being tended to. He says: "If I had startled the horse, I would have gotten pictures!" [TMZ]
• By the by, Madonna wasn't just "riding" that horse but leaping hurdles. She was at the home of famed photographer Steven Klein and Jesus Luz was there, too. [NY Post]
• Madonna's adoption appeal has been scheduled for May 4, so expect to see her in Malawi then. [People]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Ellen Pompeo is pregnant! [People]
• Mel Gibson asked for a new judge in his divorce case, because he felt that Judge Rafael Ongkeko was "prejudiced against" him, and bingo! He got a new judge. [E!]
• Is Mel Gibson's "mystery girlfriend" Oksana Grigorieva? None of the other Oksanas were the right ones. [People]
• Mel Gibson was seen going to church at his private church in Malbu on Sunday. Then he went for ice cream. This is "news." [People]
• Russell Brand called President Obama's answering machine while on Radio 2, trying to figure out which UK football team Barack supports. [The Sun]
• Victoria Beckham, who has said she "hates working out," has decided to take up Pilates. [Daily Mail]
• May the good Lord bless Kelly Osbourne, who says of her wedding: "Vegas is way too tacky. I'd prefer to get married in London, as I have family and friends here." [Daily Mail]
• Kelly Bensimon is being sued for stealing an idea for a jewelry line from a former Elle Accessories colleague. Hence the headline "Housewife Kelly Bensimon Stole My Owl." [Page Six]
• Kelly Bensimon also says she does not hate Bethenny Frankel: "I don't hate anybody. Why would I? I respect Bethenny as a dynamic go-getter. Its tough being single in New York and working." Plus, Kelly says she'd like to to Dancing With The Stars. [WWD]
• Singing sensation Susan Boyle was obsessed with Donny Osmond as a teen. Also, her brother says: "She doesn't wear make-up or fancy clothes. It's not that she doesn't care, she just doesn't see why other people should care how she looks." [Mirror]
• Did some dude smooch never-been-kissed Susan Boyle? [Mirror]
• Rosie O'Donnell says: "Simon Cowell was genuinely moved when he heard Susan Boyle sing. He showed his humanity, and I actually liked him. It was a moment in time." [People]
• Q: Is Hugh Jackman the only mutant with a nude scene [in Wolverine]? Ryan Reynolds: "It's a prerequisite-you have to show off your mutant berries is what they told us. No. I think Hugh is probably the only nudie. I don't remember taking my pants off. I do have a faulty memory, though." [Newsweek]
• Another day, another story of Prince Harry attending an "illegal rave." [Daily Mail]
• This report claims that Amy Winehouse has been so stimulated and chilled out living in St. Lucia, she plans to write a children's book. [Bilde.de]
• Why does Amy Winehouse have burns on her legs? [The Sun]
• Jamie Foxx says while plating a schizophrenic homeless man in The Soloist, "I was in a bad place because I felt like I might be literally losing my mind." He had panic attacks and bouts of paranoia during filming. [LA Times]
• In an interview with Idris Elba, the Brit actor of The Office, The Wire and new flick Obsessed says of people thinking he is hot: "It's weird because, you know, I've been just the ordinary chap for 30 odd years and suddenly, I'm going into this [situation]: 'Oh my God, all the ladies love you!' And I'm like, 'Huh? Me? It doesn't make any sense!' I didn't grow up like some sort of sex symbol. It does make a gentleman walk with a stride in his step, believe me." [WaPo]
• Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian, the sisters who, according to this story, "aren't famous for having a big ass and a sex tape," are getting their own spin-off TV show on E! [Media Week]
• Jeff Goldblum is joining the cast of Law & Order: Criminal Intent and something tells you he's going to be awesome. [NY Times]
• Peaches Geldof, 20, who edits a magazine and has been a TV personality, plans to record an album. At least she's industrious? [Daily Mail]
• Some great quotes from Whoopi Goldberg in this interview. She says "I don't look like Halle Berry. But chances are, she's going to end up looking like me." And: "An actress can only play a woman. I'm an actor, I can play anything." And: "It's great to see Barack as president, but there's a lot to get done and he really is in the stuff. There's no money and everybody's out of their minds and pissed at America." As for why she is not in the stage version of Sister Act in London? "I am 112, so I was too old. I also don't sing." [Guardian]
• Na, na, na nanana… Paul McCartney played a "Hey Jude" singalong after midnight at Coachella. [Mirror]
• "A Night Out With" Colin Hanks involves playing games like Who Am I? and Connect Four. [NY Times]
• Did you know that Viggo Mortensen speaks fluent Spanish and Danish? Lots of details about him in this interview. [Guardian]
• Here, the Daily Mail apologizes for saying that Will Smith's school was a Scientology school. "We are assured that the academy founded by the actor Will Smith and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith, is secular, with no religious affiliation and welcomes children from all backgrounds." Someone must have threatened to sue! [Daily Mail]
• RuPaul hosts the NewNowNext Awards. which will premiere June 13 on LOGO and LOGOonline — with a performance by Lady GaGa. [LOGO]
• Edie Falco is addicted to the Discovery Health Channel and hospital-based doctor shows. Now she's playing an ER nurse hooked on Vicodin and Adderall in a Showtime dark comedy series called Nurse Jackie, which premieres in June. [NY Daily News]
• Fran Drescher is working on getting a TV talk show, where she can talk about politics, culture, and health issues. Hopefully nothing where we'd have to hear her laugh. [Daily Mail]
• Marianne Faithfull and her "soulmate" have split after 15 years; he went on to slap a British Airways staffer over the weekend. [Daily Mail, The Sun]
• Actress/singer Patsy Kensit married DJ Jeremy Healy over the weekend; her fourth marriage. She's also been hitched to Dan Donovan of Big Audio Dynamite, Jim Kerr of Simple Minds and Liam Gallagher of Oasis. [Daily Mail]
• These "Paul Newman cheated" stories will only make you sad, especially when you find out one woman told him: "You're always drunk and you can't even make love." [The Sun]
• Zac Efron's flick, 17 Again, was number one at the box office, with a respectable $24 million. Fess up: Who saw it? [MSNBC]
• What the world needs now: A Joan Collins makeover show. Too bad it's only in the UK! [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which young starlet demanded 17 free handbags after forgetting she needed to buy gifts?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Women always want to be what they're not. If you're the pretty girl, you want to be the quirky girl. If you're the smart girl, you want to be the pretty girl." — Jordana Brewster, who wants to be a Bond girl. [Page Six]
• "I'm not going to tell you it's been all smooches and hugs. But it shouldn't be because that would be a bore. If my band didn't have issues, if they didn't throw tantrums, I would think I was with a bunch of suckers. As long as they can handle it, I can handle it. After all we're just delivering music that people love, so how bad can it be? It could be worse. We could be drafted." — Perry Farrell, on the "bitter feuding" happening now that Jane's Addiction has reunited. [Reuters]
• "Probably 10 years from now I'll be able to look at this phase of my life and be able to understand [my character in Cheri's] journey more. But I think for a lot of women 50 is a very particular age. I'm not one that's ever really thought about birthdays, but this was a big one and I was not looking forward to it. But surprisingly it has left me feeling liberated in a strange kind of way. Sort of, the pressure's off. And it's actually quite wonderful. I wasn't expecting that." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
• "When I was in the theater in Liverpool, we had a café where we'd have lunch. In the evenings it was full of girls, and we were like, 'What the hell is this?' It was the Beatles. Later on, I met up with John [Lennon] at Cannes and we had an evening, getting bombed out of our minds on alcohol. The sixties wasn't drugs, you see. What ended the sixties was drugs." — Michael Caine. [New York Mag]
• "A guy I worked with recently told me, 'You have to earn the right to hold a gun.' And that completely made sense. Can you imagine me running around with a gun in a film? I noticed the second I started that the things you want to be involved with are always just out of reach. Most parts you'd want, people won't really consider you for, because you have to earn that respect. The things people do want you for are usually not things you want to do. At one point, somebody said to me, 'What do you wanna do? A cool crime drama? Do you wanna shoot up heroin? We'll do anything you wanna do…the Musical.'" — Zac Efron. [GQ]
• "Most of those guys on TMZ are idiots. Actually, I wouldn't call them idiots, because that's doing a disservice to idiots all over the world. They're whatever's worse than that. I feel more sorry for them than anything. I don't know if it's being mean, than being utterly moronic. There's a quality of somebody that must have been deeply hurt, to become so immature and to have such an unloved soul that they would choose a profession like that. It's incredible." — Ryan Reynolds. [Newsweek]
• "I feel angry that I even have to say I am atheist. The alternative is so ludicrous to me. I don't want to dignify the idea of religion by saying that. The burden of proof should be on their side, not mine." — Ricky Gervais. [Telegraph]
• "He was supposed to be writing this for me. He could have written me anything and he comes up with this. If that's what he thinks of me, well, then I'm not for him and he's not for me." — Marilyn Monroe on the screenplay Arthur Miller wrote for her. [Daily Express]
• "My sister is the Twitter queen. She told me about the twittering, but I don't get it, I feel like I'm getting really old. I'm like, what? I don't understand. Just call me." — Beyoncé. [Yahoo News via AP]

• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively share an ice cream cone on Rolling Stone's new cover. The girl-on-girl antics continue inside, with the girls sucking on a Twizzler and each other's thumbs.

• The rest of the Gossip Girl cast gets away with having a clothed pillow fight and cuddling in bed together. [Gothamist, Rolling Stone]
• New York Magazine points out that they've already photographed the cast in a big white bed together (and done it better). [NY Magazine]
• Love lockdown! Kanye West has been charged with misdemeanor battery, grand theft and vandalism over destroying a paparazzo's camera on video at LAX in September. [AP]
• Liz Smith says she was told Natasha Richardson is "dead". Though that hasn't been confirmed, Smith says moving her to Lenox Hill was a bad sign and that, earlier this afternoon, she was taken off life support. An insider says: "Nobody goes to Lenox Hill who is really sick; if she'd had a chance to live, they'd have found another great brain hospital!" [Wowowow]
• Supposedly medics on the ambulance that transported Natasha Richardson said she was brain dead. A source said she was "unconscious," her pupils "non-reactive," her skin was "pale" and she was suffering from "major head trauma." Liam Neeson reportedly held her hand the entire time and caressed her face during the ride. [TMZ]
• Subscribers will get a copy of Entertainment Weekly with Paul Rudd on the cover, but the mag put Natasha Richardson on the cover being sold on newsstands. [ONTD]
• A judge has ordered Adnan Ghalib to stay away from Britney Spears for three years. [TMZ]
• Is Bruce Willis marrying his girlfriend, model Emma Heming? The National Enquirer says the wedding is going down this weekend in some "exotic location." [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Cibrian is denying the rumors that he's having an affair with LeAnn Rimes. Supposedly he told a friend: "LeAnn and I are friends, we went to dinner, that's it. The most ridiculous thing is that people believe I would do something like this period … much less do it in a public place. The false accusations are obviously causing a rift at home, but me and my family will get through this together." The security camera photos printed in Star today (which you can read about in Midweek Madness) paint a different picture. [Perez Hilton]
• LeAnn Rimes issued a statement on her website and she isn't denying the affair. She writes: "This is a difficult time for me and my loved ones, but I appreciate all your continued support.
  I would like to assure all of you that this is a place for you to hear things directly from me and as you all know, not everything in our lives is always black and white." [Perez Hilton]
• Dean Sheremet, LeAnn Rimes' husband, Twittered today, "I love my wife!!!" [Perez Hilton]
• John Mayer isn't writing a tell all book about Jennifer Aniston, as the cover of Star Magazine claims. Mayer's rep says: "Even for them, its a new low. They've dressed themselves up but they're no better than the Enquirer. Despite their low standards it's still not ok to make up stories and print them. Unfortunately, while we're considering legal action, Star Magazine is already at work on next week's cover story about some reality tv star's secret marriage to Elvis." [Perez Hilton]
• A remake of the film Arthur is in the works and producers want Russell Brand to play the title role with Sir Anthony Hopkins as his wise-cracking butler. [The Daily Express]
• Sean Stewart, son of Rod Stewart and Celebrity Rehab cast member, appeared on Judge Jeanine Pirro and said his dad is "very cheap." [The Daily Mail]
• Jessica Lange fell yesterday at her Minnesota cabin. She grabbed for a railing that was not secure and fell over, breaking her shoulder and collarbone and dislocating her arm. She received treatment at a local hospital. [TMZ]
• Pink and husband Carey Hart are indeed back on. They were seen exiting her tour bus together in Berlin. [Perez Hilton]
• Andrew Morton says that the drama surrounding whether or not Prince William is engaged to Kate Middleton has a decidedly retro feel. He writes: "Whatever becomes of Kate Middleton, she will always be marked by the man she knew rather than what she knows. If Michelle Obama seems the acme of social modernity and progress, the romance of Kate and William harks back to another arcane era." [The Daily Beast]
• When asked if she plans to have more kids, Jennifer Lopez said, "Let me work just a little bit first. Let me get a couple things out there... one song, one movie, something ... I like [need] to recuperate." [The Star]
• Eric Nies from the first Real World: New York spotted a puppy drowning and stripped naked to jump in the partially frozen lake and save the dog. There are pictures. [TMZ]
• In this video Martha Stewart says she still isn't coping with the loss of her dog Ghenghis Khan in a freak propane tank explosion last week. [TMZ]
• Audrina Patridge is getting her very own Hills spinoff. [Perez Hilton]
• Designing Women is coming out on DVD. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Heavily pregnant PETA members posed naked in cages to protest against chef Jaime Oliver, who urged people to buy British pork rather than pork raised overseas under worse conditions. Oliver's rep says he's a big supporter of animal welfare and his restaurants serve pork from "the happiest pigs you can get." Peta representatives say: "The answer to saving pigs is not to buy British pork, it's to go vegetarian." [The Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman will star in a film adaptation of the book Important Artifacts and Personal Property from the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion, and Jewelry The book looks like a Sotheby's estate auction catalog, with 325 entries and photographs of items that tell the story of the relationship between a fictitious a 40ish photographer (Pitt) and a New York Times food columnist in her late 20s (Portman). [Variety]
• Everyone is angry that British tabloid OK! put out a tribute to dying reality star Jade Goody even though she's still alive - except Jade. The magazine put out a statement saying: "Jade's family have spoken to OK! today to reiterate that they understand the tribute issue and view it as being very kind to Jade." [The Mirror]
• Kim Kardashian is one the cover of Russian Playboy. [The Sun]
• Um, here are the NSFW photos of Kim Kardashian from inside Russian Playboy. [ONTD]
• Robert Pattinson says that even before he started acting he always thought he was a fraud and was faking his emotions. He says: "I remember when I was a teenager thinking my girlfriend was cheating on me, and going around riling myself up. Pretending to cry. It was totally illegitimate-I actually didn't feel anything. I went to some pub and then went crying all the way home. And I got into my dog's bed. I was crying and holding on to the dog. I woke up in the morning, and the dog was looking at me like, ‘You're a fake.' ... I thought I'd seen her with another guy, but she wasn't even there. I spent three days apologizing to the dog." [GQ]
• Prince Williams went on a U.K. children's show and said his patronage of London's Royal Marsden Hospital is something that would make mom proud. "For a very long time my mother was involved with the Royal Marsden, and she had a very close connection with them ... So I wanted to follow in her footsteps, in that sense, and help." Diana opened the children's unit in 1993 and Prince William is supporting the building of a Children's and Teenage Cancer Centre. [People]
• Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen and David Frost in Frost/Nixon says playing so many real people has taken its toll. "Have I got an identity crisis? Yeah, I don't know who I am really. You give me a script and then, I'm that," said Sheen. [The Star]
• 50 Cent has a backhanded compliment for Sean Combs in King magazine. He says: "Puffy has the best model for staying relevant, because [he does it] without a song. He's been able to maintain an interest and stay in a space to executive produce television and film projects, and stay relevant to hip-hop culture. What was the last record that made you feel like, ‘Oh, my God, Puffy is on fire'? You don't need it. That's what makes his business model exciting to me." [Perez Hilton]

• At a concert in Seattle, Etta James said:

"You know, YOUR President, the one with the big ears? He ain't MY President. Had that woman singing for him at his Inauguration. She's going to get her ass whooped." [This Is 50, DListed, TMZ, NY Daily News]

• Miley Cyrus on her "racist" picture: "I've also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, I'm sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context! In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy?" There's more of this non-apology if you click the link. [ONTD]
• Angelina Jolie, goodwill ambassador for the U.N. Refugee Agency, is asking the government of Thailand to give more freedom to thousands of Burmese refugees. "I was saddened to meet a 21-year-old woman who was born in a refugee camp, who has never even been out of the camp and is now raising her own child in a camp," Jolie said in a UN statement. No word on whether she is trying to adopt any Burmese kids. [AP]
• Britney's diaries: Stolen! And since her dad is making a deal for her to pen a few books over the next 10 years, she needs them to write her memoirs! What's in the journals and video interviews? Brit hears voices, had an abortion, reveals the real reason she shaved her head and threatens to kill her children. As always, consider the source on this. [National Enquirer]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi is suing Britney and her parents for "defamation, libel and battery." [NY Daily News]
• While in Rio, Tom Cruise has been saying hola and gracias to everyone. Of course, in Brazil, they speak Portuguese and not Spanish. [Page Six]
• Michael Phelps spoke about his bong pic: "It's something I am going to have to live with and something I'll have to grow from. I know with all of the mistakes I made, I learned from them and that is what I expect to do from this. By no means it is fun for me, by no means is it easy." Then he had to go because he had the munchies. [AP]
• James Franco has been named Harvard's Hasty Pudding Man of the Year. The roast is February 13. [AP]
• Madonna basically swept her new man, Jesus Luz, off of his feet. Luz's former modeling agent says the two met at a W magazine shoot: "We did the shoot, and I never saw him again. She loves him and asked him to go to New York. It was something very strong, because one day everybody was like, 'Oh my god, where is Jesus? He's disappeared. After he went to the shoot, he never came back. He moved to São Paulo with the crowd of Madonna, and they changed his number, and they don't let him talk to me anymore. He asked me to close his contract and I did." Now Luz is in New York with her Madgesty, working for Ford models. Upgrade! [E!]
• Why did Jessica Alba drop so much weight after giving birth? "I did it for the Campari job. [The workouts] were horrible. I cried. And I haven't worked out since." [Elle]
• Scarlett Johansson understands men, except for one thing: "Why do they have nipples? That has always amazed me." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Salma Hayek is launching the second annual Pampers/UNICEF program to stop the spread of maternal and neonatal tetanus. She explains: "I've done a lot of social work, primarily with abused women and women's rights. I had the baby and I had so much on my plate, and I said that this year, I'm taking a break from charity. I cannot do it all. But then this came along. And I said no. Then I read what it was, and I was so screwed because you cannot walk away from this one." [USA Today]
• Carla Bruni's family castle near Turin, Italy, has been sold to an Arab sheik for $9 million. What about your family castle? Is it made of sand? [Page Six]
• Prince Charles appears in the new Oasis video, through some creative editing. [Daily Mail]
• Holly Madison is dunzo. In addition to ditching Hugh Hefner, she's quit working for Playboy as an "editor." More time for wondrous illusions with boyfriend Criss Angel? [Perez]
• What does Lady GaGa want for Valentine's Day? "A good fuck and some carbohydrates." [The Sun]
• Orlando Bloom has signed onto a sci-fi flick called The Cross. Set in the near future, Orly plays a man seeking to cross a mysterious border, something no one else has achieved. He's good at pirates and elves, will he be good at a future-man? [Variety]
• Ang Lee protégé Tang Wei has landed her first role since starring in sexy spy thriller Lust, Caution and being banned in mainland China. [AP]
• Patrons at super British restaurant Tea & Sympathy in the West Village, NYC, got to watch Rupert Everett get up and recite his lines for an upcoming Broadway play. [Page Six]
• Ashton Kutcher wasn't going to look at the Hard Rock Girls calendar because he didn't want to piss off Demi Moore, but Demi said, "I don't give a fuck if you look at that thing." [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen was at a party and "She kept telling people she wasn't drinking because she was on heavy doses of Percocet, as she had just had her wisdom teeth removed. Not that anyone cared - everyone was twice her age!" [Gatecrasher]
• What the world needs now: A reality show featuring freshly rehabbed Sean Stewart, as he — wait for it — starts his own fashion line. [Page Six]
• Benji Madden: Dating Audrina Patridge? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which starlet did more than get wet with an uber-famous athlete in a pool? On top of that, a gridiron god walked in and got a gander at the action - and the twosome's pile of cocaine." [Gatecrasher]
• Aww, Jessica Simpson's flick, Major Movie Star — now titled Private Valentine — is now available on DVD, having skipped theaters all together. [NY Daily News]
• No one likes Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP. [NY Post]
• Terrence "Baby Wipes" Howard's eyes will haunt your soul as he stares at you from the new cover of Ebony. [The Life Files]
• News network and Oasis fan MSN is launching a new gossip site called Wonderwall. The tone will be "edgy but respectful." [Reuters]
• Hugh Grant and Jemima Khan: SO ON. [This Is London]
• Kylie Minogue's hot hot man took her to meet his family in Spain. [This Is London]
• RIP Lux Interior, the lead singer of the Cramps. [BoingBoing]
• "My mom went on a date with Jimi Hendrix. My dad was a part of Strawberry Fields Forever and hung out with Timothy Leary. My parents have stories. They probably have better stories than I do. And they found God. They needed to find God. Not that they needed to find God, but God found them, really. I stopped trying to change them at 21." [Daily Mail]
• "Katy is our daughter and we love her but we strongly disagree with how she is conducting herself at the moment. We cannot cut her out of our lives as she is our child but she knows we disagree strongly with what she is doing and the message she is promoting regarding homosexuality which the Bible clearly states is a sin. But the Bible also promotes understanding and forgiveness, which I keep reminding myself. Katy is not a homosexual but I fear she has been led astray by the Hollywood crowd. I pray all the time that God will work through her and help her find salvation." — Katy Perry's mom. [Daily Mail]
• "I wore a girdle. Eight weeks after my girlfriend had her baby, you could see her six-pack. She told me to put an elastic band around my waist – any kind of band or girdle works. She was like, 'I slept in it.' I didn't recover as fast as she did. I don't have a six-pack – that's just not my body at all." — Jessica Alba. [Elle]
• "When I was in the full make-up, we had the kids come to the set, and I tried to prepare them for the moment. Their mommy tried to explain to them that 'that's daddy'. But it didn't phase them. They didn't even comment on it." —Brad Pitt on filming The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. [Independent]
• "I make fun of me all the time. I'm like, 'Call me Mr. Carey, who cares?'" — Nick Cannon. [MSNBC]
• "I'm going big. It's all about the hairdo. I love being blonde a bit more at the moment. It's so much fun. I was so focused on work that I hadn't reinvented my look in so long and I love to reinvent. It gives you a whole new attitude. It's a little scary to get out of your safe zone but I love change. It's fun and I embrace it." — Drew Barrymore on her tresses. [The Sun]
• "It's a real crucible because you feel daunted by your peers who somehow get younger and younger. People older than me have fewer lines than I do. And no, you're not supposed to talk about it; you're supposed to admire the fact that they look 22 even though they're 58." — Sarah Jessica Parker on aging, in thew new issue of Bazaar. [The Life Files]
• "I haven't spoken to Christian about it, but I have listened to most of it and he was clearly very angry. People might now realise that that is his temper, and they might understand a bit more… He is a perfectionist and if you are doing an intense scene and someone is spoiling a shot, it takes time to get it back." —Christian Bale's mom, on his tirade. [Mirror]
• "Everything was about keeping Christian happy because he was the meal ticket. If something wasn't just so, Christian would erupt. He would yell until he was red in the face. It was very intimidating. Fame began to change him. Once, when [his mother] Jenny and her mum arrived in Los Angeles, Christian sent me to the airport to pick them up. Jenny was in tears because her son hadn't come in person." — Christian Bale's former assistant, Harrison Cheung. Cheung also says that after Bale's dad married Gloria Steinem, "Gloria liked to pontificate and was going on about something for ages at the dinner table one night. Christian suddenly let out a huge sigh and said, 'For God's sake woman, shut up!'" [Mirror]

• Is there a Heath Ledger love child? When Heath was 17, he dated a 25-year-old woman who gave birth to a baby girl after the relationship ended. [People]
  
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were married in the French Quarter Wedding Chapel on Saturday. [Star]
  
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did not get married and were not even in New Orleans. They were in Texas, where Brad is shooting a film. [People]
  
• Sarah Jessica Parker's 5-year-old son James is an Obama supporter. [People]
  
• Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Incarcerated, was attacked by fellow inmates in prison because they were convinced he had a secret stash of heroin. Blake has failed three drug tests while in Pentonville Prison and spends a lot of time in solitary confinement. [ONTD]
  

• Meanwhile, sources say Amy Winehouse's new album has lyrics that are so dark and bleak it's like "suicidal music." Looking forward to it! [The Sun]
• Hayden Panettiere was presented with an activism award from the Humane Society for protesting dolphin slaughter in Japan. Hayden says, "As an actress, you always dream of getting awards like the Golden Globe award, but I never expected to get an award that is this special and important to me as this." The dolphins say, "Eeeee iiaaaa iiiiaaa." [People]
• Kathie Lee Gifford has joined the cast of the Today show. Actual IM exchange: Dodai: EW EW EW EW. Anna: I KNOW. UUUUUGGGGH. [Today]
• Lindsay Lohan: Black to blonde. [E!]
• Kate Moss has taken her daughter Lila Grace to Disneyland! [Mirror]
• American Idol castoff Frenchie Davis will undergo surgery to remove a vocal cord polyp. Be well! [AP]
• Orlando Bloom and Harrison Ford were among those slimed at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. [Mirror]
• Tyra Banks hosted the first Annual Fiercee Awards on Friday. The awards honor the women of America's Next Top Model and will air on April 30th. Yeah, you read that right. Fiercee. With two Es. [Concrete Loop]
• Will Smith's kids are freakin' cute. [Concrete Loop]
• Rapper Papoose is engaged to rapper Remy Ma and they plan to get married despite the fact that Remy Ma is facing a maximum sentence of 25 years in prison. The couple will be married in the prison chapel. Love knows no boundaries! [The.Life Files]
• Rod Stewart's 27-year-old son Sean has been hanging out with a 19-year-old Hollywood girl named Caleigh and seems to have stolen her car. Classy. [Page Six]
• Rod Stewart may be leaving England to move to L.A. because it's "a better place to bring up the children." Hahahaha. [Telegraph]
• Is Ashlee Simpson not doing Saturday Night Live this year because the show doesn't want her back after her 2004 lip sync kerfluffle? Or because her schedule doesn't allow it? [Page Six]
• Jamie Spears thinks daughter Britney should abandon music for a TV career, since How I Met Your Mother got such high ratings. Good idea? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile PETA is offering Britney Spears a job as a receptionist. Not a joke. [MSNBC]
• And Madonna wants to save Britney. [AP]
• Double trouble: Are Mary-Kate and Ashley feuding over their fortune? [MSNBC]
• Oh, and Madonna has earned millions with her new album, Hard Candy, even though it hasn't dropped yet: Tracks are being used in ads with major companies like Vodafone, Unilever and Fuji. We are living in a material world. [Telegraph]
• Not-so-blind item! "Which hip-hop mogul likes to practice nude yoga in a Chelsea gym steam room? His "pathetic" manhood has driven more than a few onlookers into fits of laughter." [Rush & Molloy]
• A fire at author Tom Clancy's Maryland home caused $10,000 worth of damage. A plot from one of his books? [TMZ]
• Rapper Tone Loc will play shows at two Detroit-area bars that were scammed out of money by a man posing as his manager. [AP]
• Ashley Dupre has been asked to join Donald Trump's new reality show which is based on the British series Ladette To Lady. The program, to air on MTV, will attempt to teach ladylike manners to 15 party girls. [UPI]
• Pete Doherty was seen out and about with his old flame, Nadine Roddy. Oh, and she's a Scientologist. [Mirror]
• Heather Mills will be a judge in the Miss USA pageant on April 11, joining such qualified luminaries as Joey Fatone and Rob Schneider. [Yahoo News]
• Johnny Depp is making tons of friends and fans in Crown Point, Indiana, where he shook lots of hands and signed hundreds of autographs after shooting a film. [UPI]
• Eddie Van Halen's son says his dad is doing great despite his undisclosed medical condition. [People]
• Biggest Loser contestants Amy and Marty tied the knot Saturday in Charleston, S.C. Congrats! [People]
• Jack Klugman is suing NBC for profits from Quincy, M.E. — a problem with a contract he signed in 1976. [AP]
• Chris Brown on Rihanna: "We're not in a relationship or anything." Yeah yeah yeah sure sure. [Yahoo New]
• Ooh cute picture of Lily Allen as a kid! [The Sun]
• Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday: Jade Marie De Laurentiis Thompson. [People]

• Angelina Jolie: Probably not reading this right now. "As Brad knows, I don't really how to turn on a computer." [People]
  
• Speaking of Brad Pitt, no one likes his new 'do. [Mirror]
  
• Supermodel Elle Macpherson, 44, is dating a 21-year-old? And it's Julian Schnabel's son? Hot. [Page Six]
  
• Cate Blanchett: Seven months pregnant and allowed to skip bathroom lines. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Not-so blind item! "Which famous New York athlete who used to date a pint-size actress is still shaking his head about how she would never remove her shoes during sex?" [Gatecrasher]
  
• Britney's stay at UCLA Medical Center has been extended; she will be required to be there for another 14 days. Hopefully that's enough time to make some real progress. [TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Britney's father was named her conservator, but she allegedly told her lawyers that she "hates" him. Then again, she is in a psychiatric ward. [TMZ]
• In any case, there will be a court hearing today to appoint a new conservator for Britney. As long as it's not Sam Lutfi. [TMZ]
• June Austin Spears, Britney's grandfather, says Lynne keeps knocked-up teen Jamie Lynn Spears "hidden." [Gatecrasher]
• The LAPD says handling Britney has been "different." Lt. Rick Wall, who heads the crisis response team which handles mental illness issues explains: "People were literally climbing on the ambulance. Standing in front of the police cars and the ambulance, so it couldn't move. That's a huge issue for anyone, celebrity or not." [Newsweek]
• There was a second memorial service in L.A. for Heath Ledger on Saturday; guests included Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Sienna Miller, Ellen DeGeneres, Shannyn Sossamon and director Todd Haynes. [People]
• Heath's funeral will be private and held in his hometown of Perth, Australia. [News.com.au]
• Helena Christensen, who was friends with Heath Ledger, says she has "only good memories of him." She adds: "Losing any friend is horrific, but he just has this thing about him — this special, enigmatic thing that I have never met in anyone before. That's what all of his friends are saying. They are totally devastated by losing someone who gave them so much. He gave everyone so much." [People]
• American Idol alum Katharine McPhee, 23, married her boyfriend, producer Nick Cokas, 42, on Saturday in Beverly Hills. Congrats! [People]
• Frau Heidi Klum on Germany's Next Top Model: "The models are all really young — they say the wildest things. They will talk about their boyfriends and where they have sex and how many times. They get media training and we say, 'You're not supposed to say those things,' but it's good television!" [Gatecrasher]
• Anna Nicole's estranged mother, Virgie Arthur, tried to make cash off of her grandson Daniel Smith after his death by offering to pose by his grave for a paparazzi agency. Not surprising but still: Sigh. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus beat Jessica Alba at the box office, thanks to a 3D movie (and $15 tickets). [E!]
• Does Lindsay Lohan have a book deal? This UK paper — which spells her name wrong — is reporting that Simon Schuster has paid £1 million for her autobiography. We heard she maybe wanted to write one but not that a deal had been inked. Stay tuned. [Mirror]
• A man charged with a bunch of robberies — including holding up Lost star Josh Holloway, has pleaded guilty and will be behind bars for 30 years. [People]
• Are Kylie Minogue and Olivier Martinez back on? What's this about Olivier not wanting marriage or kids? [Daily Mail]
• Rod Stewart's son has gotten his dad dragged into a court case: Sean is accused of attacking a dude in a bar brawl; Rod's bodyguard was involved, so the court papers are naming Rod as a defendant. Messy, messy business. [Daily Mail]
• Is Sienna Miller telling Rhys Ifans "marry me or else"? Is Rhys wearing Sienna's T-shirt? [Daily Mail]
• Is Jemima Khan hooking up with ex-boyfriend Hugh Grant? Do you give a shit? [Daily Mail]

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may be buying a $139 million, 240-foot yacht ark. By our calculations, this means Brad's penis is smaller than Rupert Murdoch and Richard Branson's, but bigger than Paul Allen's. [DListed]
• Wentworth Miller may have a girlfriend. Women weep, gay men laugh. [a href="http://justjared.buzznet.com/2007/04/11/amie-brice-wentworth-miller-girlfriend/">JustJared]
• Katie Couric: Total cougar! [PageSix]
• Ryan Phillippe continues his divorced-guy, downward spiral. [PageSix]
• Would someone please bitchslap Naomi Campbell already? [PageSix]

• CNN is set to pay Anderson Cooper $50 million over the course of 5 years. Okay, Anderson, you can come out of the closet now. [PageSix]
• Sean Stewart threw his girlfriend out of his Beverly Hills pad, a gesture she'll appreciate the day she realizes what a douchebag he is. [PageSix]

Apparently being a "Son of Hollywood" also means having no shame. A day after Randy Spelling admitted to deflowering Paris Hilton, his reality co-star Sean Stewart (son of Rod), has told Howard Stern that he jacked off to the sight of his nude, then-stepmother — model Rachel Hunter — as a teenager. "I used to stare at [her] when she was down by the pool sunbathing naked," Page Six reports Stewart as saying. "I was like 15 or 16 sitting in my pool with a bottle of lotion."

Of course, this scenario sounds suspiciously like a certain 2003 Fountains of Wayne music video, "Stacy's Mom", in which a young teen boy's fantasy of Rachel Hunter stepping out of a swimming pool gets him caught jacking off in a bathroom, Fast Times-style. And we don't quite buy Sean's assertion that Rachel might have responded favorably if he'd had the guts to hit on her. Then again, she did marry Rod Stewart.

Blindfold, Please [PageSix]
Stacy's Mom [YouTube]