Hell Is a Place on Earth: Join Jezebel Tonight for a GOP Debate Liveblog

It seems like just moments ago that we all endured the first debate among thousands of Republicans who want to be president. And yet somehow, both fall and another debate are upon us, twin reminders of the passage of time, the inevitability of death, and the grim unpleasant duties that consume much of our fleeting… »9/16/15 5:30pm9/16/15 5:30pm

Scott Walker Wants to Build a Wall Between the US and Canada

If you’ve ever wondered what happened to the annoying kid in your government class who elicited groans every time he opened his mouth about “the immigrant problem” or “what we should do about the middle east,” look no further than presidential candidate Scott Walker. The man who has never answered one question… »8/31/15 1:04pm8/31/15 1:04pm

Scott Walker Hones Crucial 'Muslims Bad' Platform

Wisconsin governor, presidential candidate and deep thinker Scott Walker will not be apologizing, exactly, for a recent statement that there are only a “handful” of “reasonable, moderate followers of Islam.” Walker’s campaign told one newspaper everyone is “reading too much” into the comment. Meanwhile, the candidate… »8/24/15 12:00pm8/24/15 12:00pm

First Republican Presidential Forum Was Dull and Bizarre, Naturally

Are you ready for it? Are you ready for the next 461 days of being campaigned at by a pack of desperate losers, flop-sweating in their suits, overtaking your TV, your radio, your mailbox, leaning in too close at your local diner or county fair, corndogs clenched awkwardly in their fists, showing all their teeth in a… »8/04/15 11:45am8/04/15 11:45am

Koch-Sponsored All-Male Panel: We're Just Like Susan B. Anthony

Charles and David Koch held a retreat at a California resort this weekend, where Republican candidates gathered around a pool of Koch money, attached vacuum cleaner extensions to their snouts, and gazed pleadingly at them. All conditions seemed ripe for—could it be—yes, praise Jesus, we’ve got ourselves another … »8/03/15 11:20am8/03/15 11:20am

How to Tell the Difference Between All the Dudes Running for President

Now that 7,000 American men and several drunk farm animals have officially declared their candidacies for President, keeping track of them has never been more confusing or difficult. Luckily, we’ve put together a “cheat sheet” with “quick trivia” to help the political layperson discuss with confidence the nuances of… »7/22/15 1:45pm7/22/15 1:45pm

Scott Walker Says Gay Troop Leader Ban Protected Boy Scouts

Scott Walker—presidential candidate, governor of Wisconsin, and noted hot ham enthusiast—has spoken out against the Boy Scouts of America’s recent push to allow gay troop leaders. “I have had a lifelong commitment to the Scouts and support the previous membership policy because it protected children and advanced Scout… »7/15/15 11:50am7/15/15 11:50am

Scott Walker Brings His Total Contempt for the Poor to a National Stage 

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker—a man who once proposed slashing funding to victims of child abuse, who’s actively trying to end his state’s living wage, and who’s all on board for banning abortion after 20 weeks with no exceptions for rape or incest—took time away from his busy schedule of destroying the social… »7/13/15 12:45pm7/13/15 12:45pm

Scott Walker, Noted Tool, Is Trying to Axe Wisconsin's Living Wage Law

Wisconsin governor Scott Walker sacrificed a leisurely Fourth of July weekend of grill-outs and fireworks in order to sneak a variety of harmful provisions into his state’s budget. Buried in the omnibus budget bill: a law that limits the information released to the public during police shootings, as well as a… »7/07/15 6:10pm7/07/15 6:10pm

Pig Castrator Joni Ernst Hosted a Motorcycle Rally for GOP Hopefuls

That creaking, clanking noise you hear faintly—so faintly—is the sound of the 2016 presidential election rolling inexorably in our direction. But right now much of the action is centered in Iowa, where, FYI, Republican senator Joni Ernst (who first came to our attention with an ad proudly touting her hog-castration… »6/08/15 3:30pm6/08/15 3:30pm

WI Abortion Bill Would Allow Men to Sue Abortion Doctors for Damages

During his 2014 reelection campaign, Wisconsin governor Scott Walker disingenuously represented himself as being moderately pro-life when, in fact, he is an anti-abortion extremist. Anyone familiar with his politics and voting record were aware of this duplicity; however, less educated and less informed voters were… »6/03/15 7:20pm6/03/15 7:20pm

Scott Walker: Forced Ultrasounds Are 'Just a Cool Thing Out There'

In a Friday interview with conservative talk radio host Dana Loesch, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker defended the state’s forced ultrasounds for people who want to get abortions, calling them “just a cool thing that’s out there.” Although “in here” would be more accurate, in that the procedure in early pregnancy, when… »5/27/15 5:30pm5/27/15 5:30pm

Proposed Walker Budget Would Slash Funds to Child Victims of Abuse

Here’s your semi-regular update on how Scott Walker—Wisconsin governor and possible future president of the United States of America—is attempting to drag his state into the ground. In a recent budget proposal, Walker suggests removing $238,000 worth of funding to child advocacy centers, a move so depraved that even… »5/07/15 6:40pm5/07/15 6:40pm