• Seriously, Jennifer Aniston, what the hell are you doing? First you signed on for desperado babyfever flick The Baster, now you're doing a movie called Pumas. That's right: PUMAS. The plot:

"Two thirtysomething women make a habit of romancing younger men." But wait: The ladies take a French skiing vacation that "challenges their romantic expectations." What's next? Old Maid: The Musical? [Variety]

• Mel Gibson was in a scuffle with a photographer and the snapper's friend; a shirt got ripped open and someone is filing a battery report against Gibson. More to come. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton arrived in New York on Tuesday night to start filming The Beautiful Life, but some are saying it's too soon after her hospitalization. Here's the thing: On the show, Mischa plays an aging supermodel with a drug problem. [Gatecrasher]
• Isn't it interesting that we don't know who the mother of Jude Law's love child is? Someone from the set of Sherlock Holmes perhaps? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez, her luggage, her husband and her impeccably dressed children are in Rome. [Daily Mail]
• Nadya Suleman's reality show is in production. Right now, her 14 kids are being kept off camera, while work permits are being figured out. Her lawyer says: "It most likely will be aired in the UK first once it gets finished, but there has been substantial interest from a U.S. major cable network." [EW]
• Kenny Chesney is denying the Star report (from yesterday's Midweek Madness) that he and Jessica Simpson flirted on July 4, in front on Tony Romo. "Tony's a friend, and I wouldn't flirt with a buddy's girlfriend," says Chesney. "More importantly, Jessica was just being sweet and there was nothing else to it." [People]
• Liam Gallagher and Lily Allen were on an 11-hour Virgin Atlantic flight to Japan and were repeatedly told to "calm down" as they boozed it up in a "marathon drinking session." [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Kim Kardashian doing "okay" after split. [People]
• Amy Winehouse made a deal with her neighbor — he'd grill the meat she'd bought if she'd do a private gig for him one day. [The Sun]
• Here's what happens when Hollywood films a movie in your house: branches with fake leaves arrive; Betty White holds your dog; Ryan Reynolds ignores you. [NY Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine, will get custody of his kids. Katherine and Debbie Rowe have reached an agreement which gives Rowe visitation rights — but no additional money. [CBS News]
• Debbie Rowe wants the kids to have a psychologist to help them adjust to her being in their lives… And she will get one. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's personal nurse and nutritionist Cherilyn Lee says she never saw him take any IV drugs. What I knew for a fact was he had very small veins. "When I met him and did his blood work he said, 'Don't feel bad because I have tiny squiggly veins, sometimes it takes 30 minutes to an hour to find my veins.'" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's personal chef, Kai Chase, is still talking about being in the house the day the singer died. "I thought maybe Mr Jackson is sleeping late," she says. Also: She is sort of pushing a cookbook, tentatively titled Fit for a King. [Guardian]
• Dr. Conrad Murray was sentenced to jail earlier this year… for non-payment of child support. [Radar Online]
• Dr. Murray may lose his Las Vegas home. [NY Daily News]
• TMZ spoke to two sisters who worked for Dr. Conrad Murray — LaQuisha Middleton and LaQuanda Price — trying to get details about boxes of dirty needles and whatnot. Whatever you do, do not read the comments over there. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Michael Jackson's will is not valid because it's not notarized; but in California, a will doesn't have to be notarized. So. [TMZ]
• Speaking of doctors and celebrities with prescription problems… Elvis' doctor has a new book in which he says: "I don't regret any of the medications I gave him. They were necessities." [UPI]
• Daniel Bark, who is charged with vehicular homicide in the death of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen, says Cohen was drunk. [TMZ]
• The Sex And The City movie sequel is having issues attempting to shoot in Dubai, probably because the UAE authorities don't like that the word "sex" is in the title. [Daily Express]
• Russell Brand "was seen being propositioned by a member of staff from naughty undercracker shop Agent Provocateur." He was in the store chatting with the young lady; and as he left, she ran after him with her phone number. In other words: Just another Wednesday. [The Sun]
• Are Lil' Kim and Scott Storch back on? [Page Six]
• "There's a better fight in the season opener of The Real Housewives of Atlanta than there was in the recent finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. [NY Daily News]
• Balthazar Getty: Back with his wife? [Daily Mail]
• The casting of Bryce Dallas Howard and the ousting of Rachelle Lefevre = Twilight dramz. [E!]
• Put it this way: Rachelle Lefevre was "stunned" that her role in Eclipse was cast with someone else. [AP]
• Bridget Moynahan will star with Aaron Eckhart in Battle: Los Angeles, a flick about a Marine platoon in a face off against aliens attacking L.A. [Variety]
• Matthew McConaughey and Eva Mendes are in talks to star in Southbound, in which he'd play a a patrol officer on the border between California and Mexico who accepts a bribe from a beautiful Mexican woman. Eva was born in Miami to Cuban-American parents but whatever. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe will star in The Next The Days, directed by Paul Haggis (Crash). Crowe will play a teacher whose wife is arrested and convicted of a murder she says she did not commit. [Variety]
• By the by, while filming Robin Hood, Russell Crowe popped into a charity shop and donated £1000. [The Sun]
• Interested in ESPN reporter Erin Andrews' 911 call? [TMZ]
• Shakira is back! Her new album and first single are called She Wolf, and the video airs tonight on MTV. You'll see her dancing in a golden cage: "It was improvisation. I went crazy," she says. "They said 'Action!' and I just started hanging from the bars. I felt so inspired, maybe because I felt like I was a living metaphor trapped inside the cage." [USA Today]
• Weird: Val Klimer owes $538,858 in unpaid taxes in New Jersey, even though he is originally from L.A. and has been living in New Mexico for the last 20 years. [TMZ]
• Audrina from The Hills has a new man, an "Aussie BMXer" named Corey Bohan. [E!]
• Gretchen Wilson plans to start her own label which, of course, she will call Redneck Records. [USA Today]
• Men At Work: Still facing plagiarism charges, from a song that was a hit in 1981. [BBC News]
• "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m., because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier. When was the last time you heard, 'Did you hear what Leno said last night?'" — Joan Rivers. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• "I can't wear a skirt that's too short any more. It's not that my legs are bad, it just looks silly. I feel less pressure to dress youthfully. I'm 50 and everyone knows I'm 50 – who are you kidding? Jeans are my uniform. I have about 15 pairs." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Daily Express]
• "You just read it. Seriously. It is an incredible document. I think people either forget about it or have been taught it too early in their lives. It's a document worth reading and rereading every single year because it's the principles in that document that we should be loyal to and fight for and struggle for, rather than whichever government is in power." — Matt Damon, on making reciting the Declaration of Independence exciting for a History Channel movie. [AP]
• "I love my curves, I embrace them, but I have to walk a fine line. I think it comes down to being voluptuous, and if your body's a certain way, then things can go distasteful in a second… I love therapy! I'm very in touch with my feelings... there's nothing like going in and sitting down and talking to someone who has no emotional tie to your life." — Eva Mendes. [NY Daily News]
• "I want a part so bad. Any part's fine. I will be the vampire who carries Robert Pattinson's luggage in the airport. That is the part that I will play if they need it. I'd pass out [if I met Robert]. I can't talk about it, 'cause I'd pass out. It's because he's Edward. Listen, Edward can fly you through the forest. He's like Aladdin with vampire teeth - there's magic-carpet rides. He can sing. He can watch you sleep. He plays music. He sniffs your neck. I mean, please!" — Jennifer Love Hewitt really really really wants to be in a Twilight movie, poor thing. [MSNBC]

• Brad Pitt's on the cover of W, two months after ladyfriend Angelina Jolie graced the mag. In the photo by artist Chuck Close, Brad looks… wrinkly. [Just Jared]

• Oooh, and in W, Brad Pitt says Angelina is not a homewrecker! "What people don't understand is that we filmed [Mr. & Mrs. Smith] for a year. We were still filming after Jen [Aniston] and I split up. Even then it doesn't mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn't. I'm very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful." [Page Six]
• Jennifer Garner gave birth to a baby girl Tuesday in Los Angeles. What will Violet's little sister's name be? [People]
• Jett Travolta's sudden death will dominate the new cover of People. Friend of the family actress Anne Archer says: "John and Kelly never discussed his physical condition with me. I observed that he was significantly mentally handicapped. John always communicated to him as if Jett could completely understand him. ... It was a kind of sweet exchange, where he was just happy with anything that Jett offered. Anything." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is reportedly moving out! A source says she wants to "bring down the curtain on her marriage." More later in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• It was reported that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes bought three apartments in one NYC building (we heard one was for living, one was the gym, and one was for Suri). But! This story claims that when Katie's stint in All My Sons is done, the couple will return to L.A. [E!]
• Kate Winslet could win an Oscar if Academy voters get creative with the ballots. [Fox 411]
• Lauren Hutton talked to Lindsay Lohan for Interview and L.L. told her: "I have become this girl who just loves to be photographed, doesn’t know how to focus, doesn’t know how to work on set, just loves the attention, knows how to go out at night, knows how to party. I lived maybe six months out of my life like that, doing something wrong, and then I stopped. God forbid I should have ever learned my lesson. People are so distracted by the mess that I created in my life." [WWD]
• Britney Spears missed some dance rehearsals for her upcoming tour and supposedly doesn't want choreographer Wade Robson to see "that she's not as good as she used to be." Uh, Brit? He knows. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Are ghosts to blame for the delay of Courtney Love's album? A spokesperson released a statement which reads: "The studio that Courtney was using to record had paranormal technical issues so they have moved to another studio." [The Sun]
• The "hunk" Amy Winehouse has been hanging out with in the Caribbean swears there's nothing going on: "She’s sweet — but just not my kind of girl." Maybe he likes 'em crack-free? [The Sun]
• Bad news if you're sick of Anne Hathaway talking about putting the past behind her: She says, "As horrible as what I went through was, it's not the worst thing that could happen to a person. In the history of humanity, it doesn't even come close." And some other stuff. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is having a "tough time" after breaking up with her fiancé, if you care. [People]
• Perez Hilton on Anderson Cooper: "Rumor has it that [actor Mitch Morris] was having some kind of relationship with Anderson, but I don't have any photos. If I did, you would have seen them by now." [Village Voice]
• OMFGG: Will Nicole Richie be on Gossip Girl? A "friend" says "She wants a really bitchy, juicy role." [Gatecrasher]
• Ben Lee got married to Ione Skye in India?!?! [ONTD]
• Blind item! "Which pothead actor is seeking refuge for harder drugs in a NYC rehab center? The toker couldn’t quite kick the nose-candy habit." [Gatecrasher]
• Sometimes gossip "news" is too surreal to absorb, which is why the following information is presented without comment: "Rock superstars U2 have revealed their Spider-Man musical will be ready to hit Broadway this year." [The Sun]
• The new American Idol judge, Kara DioGuardi, says she's seen some male contestants who are uniquely talented. Unfortunately, this is not a euphemism. [AP]
• Some schoolkids saw Nicolas Cage in a Starbucks and offered him money. Time to shower and shave, dude. [Telegraph]
• The court system is trying to get Roman Polanski to return to L.A. to get his sexual misconduct charges dismissed; his lawyers are all, "No." [Variety]
• The woman who was used by police as a Jamie Lynn Spears decoy is pissed! She wants $2 million for her humiliation and harassment and "had no idea that her privacy would be invaded and her identity made synonymous with 'fake Jamie Lynn Spears—a nobody.'" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Will people actually purchase tickets to attend Mel B.'s Vegas extravaganza, Peep Show, which is a night of burlesque, singing and dancing? [Mirror]
• Kevin Federline's new girlfriend was kicked out of her apartment after not paying rent for six months. Perfect for each other? [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony went on a romantic jaunt to Puerto Rico and either are doing great or are arguing, like any couple, but it's so hard to give a shit. [People]
• Whoa: Back in the day, La Toya Jackson was kidnapped, forced into marriage and beaten by her husband! [The Sun]
• The wacky/emotional judge who presided over the dispute involving Anna Nicole Smith's remains has been cleared of wrongdoing. As you may recall, he cried while reading the verdict of the case. [AP]
• If you have £7,000, you can be the proud owner of this oil painting of Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, a prop from the BBC adaptation of Pride And Prejudice. [Telegraph]
• Aerosmith is ready to work on a new studio album. Is the world ready for more rock of aged? [Reuters]
• Producer Scott Storch, 35, got the face of a 19-year old chick inked on his skin. A source says: "The tattoo is ghetto, big, and on his arm. It's crazy because he's not even actually dating her." [Page Six]
• How is it possible that the Christie Brinkley/Peter Cook court battle is still not over? Her ex-husband has filed contempt of court charges against Brinkley, and her attorney is calling it "unwarranted and petty." [Extra]
• Richard Branson's New Year's Eve party on Necker Island was B.Y.O.M.: Bring your own model. [Page Six]
• Hate your boobs? MTV wants to talk to you. [Page Six]
• "If a play came along now I would jump at it. I’m very keen on doing new writing. I’ve always kind of been doing new writing with plays and that’s where my heart is. Not that I don’t think that doing the classics is a wonderful idea, but Shakespeare’s got too many lines and the other stuff is really complicated. I like newer media stuff." — Daniel Craig. [The Sun]
• "I'm sorry it took until your 40s for you to be recognized. I wrote [Josh] off as I do all square-jawed actors. But bit by bit — as he became older and older — I realized he’s going to become such an asset to the film industry." — Sean Penn on Josh Brolin. [Gatecrasher]
• "I have made my position very clear. I do not believe that there is a military solution to the situation in Gaza. I support peaceful conflict resolution, and dialogue, which HAS to take place inevitably in order to resolve the situation in any case. I do not believe that the deaths of hundreds of innocent civilians will solve anything. It will only make things worse for everyone, on BOTH sides… I am not “anti Israeli”, nor have I EVER been, and for anyone to say that I am is profoundly offensive and completely wrong." — Annie Lennox. [Pop Dirt]

• A fight broke out on the set of Pharrell's new video a few hours before Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson showed up. Oh, and the N.E.R.D. song, "Everybody Nose," is about girls waiting on line for a club bathroom to do coke. [Page Six]
  
• Hey, guess who is making a cameo appearance in that video about cocaine? Your girl Lindsay! Classy. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Contrary to earlier reports, a source says Lindsay's album is on track to be released this fall. [People]
  
• As previously reported, Anne Hathaway's boyfriend, Italian property developer Raffaelo Follieri, was arrested for trying to pass a bad check for $250,000. [People]
  
• Also as previously reported: Naomi Campbell was arrested after a kerfluffle at Heathrow's Terminal 5, after a dispute involving a missing piece of luggage. Since Terminal 5 opened last week, more than 28,000 bags have been separated from their owners. Naomi is out on bail and must report to the police station in late May. [Yahoo News]
  
• There's some new strain of medical marijuana people are calling "Tom Cruise Purple" and guess whose lawyers are investigating? Spoil sport. [Rush & Molloy]

• Are Beyoncé and Jay-Z getting married today? [Mirror]
• It seems like they are! Guests must wear ivory and the location was not on the invitation. [Concrete Loop]
• Madonna's new video, "4 Minutes," is out! Watch Madge and Justin Timberlake undulate and flirt! [People]
• Officials in Malawi are backing Madonna's effort to adopt David Banda, which looks like a go — we'll know when she visits the country next week. [Mirror]
• Prince William and girlfriend Kate Middleton were seen dancing, giggling and kissing at a charity event with a burlesque theme. Is he gonna marry her or what? [People]
• Nicolas Cage has won libel action against the Daily Mail and actress Kathleen Turner over false allegations that he'd been arrested for drunk driving and had stolen a dog. [Guardian]
• George Clooney's request for a writing credit on new film Leatherheads was denied by the Writers Guild, so Clooney has withdrawn from the union. [Reuters]
• "Motherhood has never been an ambition. I don't think like that. I never have expectations like, 'When I'm 19 I'm going to do this, and by the time I've hit 25 I'm going to do that'. I just take things as they come, each day at a time, and if things happen then all well and good." — Renee Zellweger. [ONTD]
• Kate Moss and Agyness Deyn are in a spat, yawn. [Mirror]
• Scott Storch had trouble getting into a club and it made the papers. [Page Six]
• Maya Angelou is turning 80 this weekend, so Oprah is throwing her a huge three-day party in Palm Beach! Perhaps our invitation was lost in the mail? [Page Six]
• Chloe Sevigny collapsed on the way to the Nylon anniversary party she was supposed to be hosting due to a viral infection. [Page Six]
• Mick Jagger wears Nikes with platform soles so he can measure up to his 6 foot 2 girlfriend L'Wren Scott. You make a grown man cry! [Page Six]
• Heather Mills is moving to New York. Sigh. [Gatecrasher]
• Hmm, Yoko Ono is sympathetic to Heather Mills. "It's not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles," Yoko says. [Mirror]
• Shanna Moakler, former Miss USA and ex of Blink 182's Travis Barker, is now datng Jay Grdina, Jenna Jameson's ex. Romantic. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which publicist for the wife of one of Hollywood's biggest old school action stars doubles as a rep for her skin-care range? A journalist who recently expressed polite interest in the line was offered the chance to buy some." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which proud new papa cheated on his fiancée two years ago with a famous starlet? The two were hanging at a private bash in his apartment when the mood turned a little lustful." [Rush & Molloy]
• Really? More Ashley Dupre Girls Gone Wild photos? So over it. [TMZ]
• 50 Cent's baby mama wants to stay in her $2.4 million Long Island mansion even thought 50 owns the house and they split up years ago. [TMZ]
• Kelly Ripa says she's "so excited" for Kathie Lee Gifford's stint on the Today show. Babe, you're the only one. [People]
• Former ANTM contestant Yaya has been cast on All My Children. Act with your eyes! [ONTD]
• Hulk Hogan is "very happy" with his new girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, who is — surprise! — a busty blonde, much like his wife. And daughter. [People]
• During the first week of the Beijing Olympics, Mia Farrow will be in Darfur, protesting China's involvement in that region of Africa. [Yahoo News]
• Kevin Federline has spent $50,489 in Vegas over an eight-month period. Guess who pays his credit card bills? The "Bank Of Britney." [TMZ]
• Britney and her mom went shopping at Ed Hardy for birthday presents for Jamie Lynn — today is JLS's 17th birthday. [People]
• Will Britney return to How I Met Your Mother? [USA Today]
• Survey says: No. [ONTD]

• Jessica Alba says, "It's the best time ever. I have two movies coming out, a baby, a fiancé - everything." She also claims her ass is "getting bigger by the second." Is anyone else vaguely annoyed? Maybe it's her name. [People]
  
• Britney Spears and paparazzo Adnan Ghalib checked into the Rosarito Beach Hotel just south of the border in Mexico on Wednesday. They shopped; Brit bought a knockoff Gucci purse and Adnan purchased a rosary. His photo agency says they are "happily dating." [People]
  
• Oh! Britney and Adnan are back in L.A. That was quick! Please God don't let them have gotten married in Mexico? Kthxbai. [TMZ]
  
• Meanwhile, cops found a bite mark and bruises on Britney's son, Jayden James. Federline's bodyguard says the injuries were there before JJ ever got to Britney's house and the bite was from his older brother, Sean Preston, of course. Anyway, a learning-to-walk 1-year-old without bruises would be weird. [Us Magazine]

• barak [sic] obama is an empty suit selling 'hope' in lieu of Truth... Oprah, you are a closeted republican and chose Barak [sic] Obama because you do not like other women who actually stand for something to working American Women besides glamour, angels, hollywood and dieting!" — Roseanne [Perez Hilton]
• "Oprah has given us Swartzenegger [sic] and Dr. Phil. If that was not offensive enough to decent thinking people, now she brings us Obama." — Roseanne, again. [MSNBC]
• Janice Dickinson says her former fiancé, Sylvester Stallone, took steroids — and injected her with them as well. "He juiced me," she told Fox News. "I'd wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye." Ew. And yuck. [Page Six]
• Producer Scott Storch, once linked to both Lil' Kim and Paris Hilton, seems to be having money problems, and may owe almost half a million dollars in unpaid taxes. Maybe his friends can help? [Page Six]
• Kate Hudson is "happy being single" and not "interested in guys," says a source. Yes, but how long will it last? [Page Six]
• Did Oprah's eyes well up with tears while watching the scene in The Color Purple in which two characters find happiness after becoming lesbian lovers? [Page Six]
• Lady sings the blues: American Idol runner up Katharine McPhee has been dropped from her record label. [Rush & Molloy]
• Katie Holmes says Suri Cruise is "a very strong woman. She's actually teaching me a lot - probably more than I'm teaching her." Like how to say no to daddy? [People]
• Rosie O'Donnell has made up with her frenemy Elisabeth Hasselbeck. They've been emailing and Rosie sent EH a baby gift. [People]
• A man who was trying to extort a million dollars from Tom Cruise for copies of the actor's stolen wedding pictures has been sentenced to two years probation. [Reuters]
• Wesley Snipes made $37.9 million from 1999 to 2004 but failed to file his income taxes, uh-oh. The IRS does not mess around and Snipes will be on trial for tax fraud. [Reuters]
• The photographer Nicole Kidman testified against in December is still following her around; he's been snapping pix of the pregnant star in Sydney this week and says, "So what." Jeez. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• The man who was found naked in Nicolas Cage's L.A. home in October has been ordered to six months of drug rehab. [Reuters]
• And Nic just sold that house, for a record $35 million. Bad memories? [WSJ]
• Kanye West wants the 150 inch plasma screen TV seen at the Consumer Electronics Show. Who doesn't? [MSNBC]