Scott Disick Has Impregnated Kourtney Kardashian for a Third Time

It is official! Scott Disick's sperms have now found purchase within the womb of Kourtney Kardashian thrrrrrice! The couple's third child is due in December, at which point Kourtney's plan will be complete and Scott will never sleep in the bed with her ever again because it will be like an anthill but with babies.… » 6/04/14 8:00pm 6/04/14 8:00pm

Miley Cyrus Fans Want To Rip Lorde's Brains Out For Winning at iTunes

Rabid Miley Cyrus fans are lashing out at 16-year-old chanteuse Lorde, who is so uppity that she did not commit hara-kiri immediately after her "Royals" topped Miley as #1 on the iTunes chart. They're slamming her with Dorothy Parker-esque gems like "Your eyes are too far apart" and "kill yourself you crusty old hag."… » 9/20/13 9:00am 9/20/13 9:00am

Beyoncé Hair Update: The Pixie Is Out and The Bob Is In

Just one week after chopping off all her hair and giving everyone — even straight dudes! Even my dad! — an arrhythmia, Beyoncé's back on the extensions. The Pixie has disappeared in favor of an asymmetrical blond Bobyoncé (with the help of extensions, obviously), which she wore out to dinner in Miami with Jay Z. He… » 8/16/13 9:00am 8/16/13 9:00am

Today in Do Not Want: Pix of Justin Bieber Naked With a Guitar

While the last bastion between us and Justin Bieber's ass has been little more than thin cotton boxers for awhile now, it's all over. I have seen Culo del Beebo, and so will you. These photos were taken at Thanksgiving at his grandma's house in Toronto, where he serenaded her, naked, with an acoustic guitar. Because… » 8/12/13 9:00am 8/12/13 9:00am

Kanye West Inceptionizes Us With 'American Psycho' Music Video

We all know from our trusty friends at every gossip magazine or site that Kanye West is a terrible boyfriend to Kim, and that he is a distant observer obsessed with his artistic pursuit. Well, in the ultimate surprise move, Kanye West demonstrates he knows what is up with the Kardashian clan: he filmed an 'American… » 6/10/13 4:45pm 6/10/13 4:45pm

Whoa, Dannielynn Birkhead May Get $49 Million Piece Of Marshall Estate

The latest development in the seemingly never-ending legal battle between the Anna Nicole Smith estate and the late J. Howard Marshall's son E. Pierce Marshall may see 6-year-old Dannielynn Birkhead, the daughter of Larry Birkhead and Anna Nicole, $49 million of the elder Marshall's fortune, estimated to be anywhere… » 6/01/13 11:30am 6/01/13 11:30am

Country Singer Mindy McCready Kills Herself One Month After Boyfriend's…

Long-suffering country music singer Mindy McCready was found dead via a gunshot wound to the head yesterday afternoon on her porch—the same location that David Wilson, McCready's self-declared "soulmate," took his own life almost exactly a month ago—in Cleburn County, Arkansas. She was 37. McCready's problems arguably… » 2/18/13 9:00am 2/18/13 9:00am

Beyoncé Goes H.A.M. at Super Bowl, Announces Imminent World Domination

So last night Beyoncé literally blew the lights out at the Super Bowl with a powerhouse performance featuring Destiny's Child (dammit, why "Bootylicious"? If they had done "Survivor" or "Bills Bills Bills," I would have jumped on the coffee table and dumped the nacho dip over my head like a 'roid-riddled athlete… » 2/04/13 9:00am 2/04/13 9:00am

Kate Middleton's Uterus Is Making Camilla Parker Bowles an Alcoholic

Some ludicrous story in the Globe says that the bright, sparkling English promise that is Kate Middleton's possibly-occupied womb has sent Camilla Parker Bowles straight to the bottle; she was reportedly sent to dry up in a 7-day detox retreat in Bangalore, India. Camilla and Prince Charles (the latter who has… » 11/30/12 9:00am 11/30/12 9:00am

Rihanna Apologizes for Imprisoning Journalists in Louche Dionysian…

I confess, I have not been paying much attention to this Rihanna psychedelic plane-of-iniquity situation. I do not understand what it is, because WHUT, and therefore I choose to ignore it. However, it has come to my attention that Rihanna has now issued an apology for whatever-the-fuck-nü-media-Langoliers-sky-orgy is… » 11/20/12 8:50pm 11/20/12 8:50pm