This Week In Tabloids: Kendall Is Having Scott's Baby, Isn't Sorry

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we open our giant woman-hearts and flex those empathy muscles on made-up stories about symmetrical millionaires we've never met. This week: George dumps Amal on her birthday, Scott Disick is sleeping with Khloé Kardashian and asked a waitress to suck on his toes, Scott Disick has… » 2/18/15 4:10pm 2/18/15 4:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Kendall Jenner and Lord Disick Are Doing Sex

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we crush our birth control pills into a fine dust and release them into the Santa Ana winds, howling the ancient words (inTouch, OK!, Life & Style, Star, Us Weekly) under the light of the moon. This week: the Kardashian family has imploded, Selena Gomez is pregs via Zedd but pining… » 1/28/15 5:30pm 1/28/15 5:30pm

Scott Disick Has Impregnated Kourtney Kardashian for a Third Time

It is official! Scott Disick's sperms have now found purchase within the womb of Kourtney Kardashian thrrrrrice! The couple's third child is due in December, at which point Kourtney's plan will be complete and Scott will never sleep in the bed with her ever again because it will be like an anthill but with babies.… » 6/04/14 8:00pm 6/04/14 8:00pm

Miley Cyrus Fans Want To Rip Lorde's Brains Out For Winning at iTunes

Rabid Miley Cyrus fans are lashing out at 16-year-old chanteuse Lorde, who is so uppity that she did not commit hara-kiri immediately after her "Royals" topped Miley as #1 on the iTunes chart. They're slamming her with Dorothy Parker-esque gems like "Your eyes are too far apart" and "kill yourself you crusty old… » 9/20/13 9:00am 9/20/13 9:00am

Beyoncé Hair Update: The Pixie Is Out and The Bob Is In

Just one week after chopping off all her hair and giving everyone — even straight dudes! Even my dad! — an arrhythmia, Beyoncé's back on the extensions. The Pixie has disappeared in favor of an asymmetrical blond Bobyoncé (with the help of extensions, obviously), which she wore out to dinner in Miami with Jay Z. He… » 8/16/13 9:00am 8/16/13 9:00am

Today in Do Not Want: Pix of Justin Bieber Naked With a Guitar

While the last bastion between us and Justin Bieber's ass has been little more than thin cotton boxers for awhile now, it's all over. I have seen Culo del Beebo, and so will you. These photos were taken at Thanksgiving at his grandma's house in Toronto, where he serenaded her, naked, with an acoustic guitar. Because… » 8/12/13 9:00am 8/12/13 9:00am

Kanye West Inceptionizes Us With 'American Psycho' Music Video

We all know from our trusty friends at every gossip magazine or site that Kanye West is a terrible boyfriend to Kim, and that he is a distant observer obsessed with his artistic pursuit. Well, in the ultimate surprise move, Kanye West demonstrates he knows what is up with the Kardashian clan: he filmed an 'American… » 6/10/13 4:45pm 6/10/13 4:45pm

Whoa, Dannielynn Birkhead May Get $49 Million Piece Of Marshall Estate

The latest development in the seemingly never-ending legal battle between the Anna Nicole Smith estate and the late J. Howard Marshall's son E. Pierce Marshall may see 6-year-old Dannielynn Birkhead, the daughter of Larry Birkhead and Anna Nicole, $49 million of the elder Marshall's fortune, estimated to be anywhere… » 6/01/13 11:30am 6/01/13 11:30am

Country Singer Mindy McCready Kills Herself One Month After Boyfriend's…

Long-suffering country music singer Mindy McCready was found dead via a gunshot wound to the head yesterday afternoon on her porch—the same location that David Wilson, McCready's self-declared "soulmate," took his own life almost exactly a month ago—in Cleburn County, Arkansas. She was 37. McCready's problems arguably… » 2/18/13 9:00am 2/18/13 9:00am