• Gene Robinson, the gay Episcopal bishop, delivered a four-minute invocation at the Mall on Sunday. Although HBO had exclusive rights to broadcast the invocation it did not make it to air. [Politico]

• Thoroughly reliable source and garbage PUMA blogger Perez Hilton says that Robinson's invocation didn't air because Obama's people told HBO not to air it. [Perez Hilton]
• HBO says that the invocation did not air because of a "planning error." The Inaugural concert began its live broadcast at 2:30pm (ET) and Robinson's invocation started at 2:20pm (ET). The invocation will air in repeats and will stream on HBO.com. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Meanwhile, a Washington Post-ABC News poll found that 61% of people surveyed said they back Rick Warren as the inaugural invocation pick. [Washington Post]
• Dick Cheney pulled a muscle in his back yesterday while moving boxes into his new house. He will be attending Obama's inauguration in a wheelchair. [Reuters]
• Meanwhile, on Monday a federal judge lifted an injunction requiring preservation of Dick Cheney's records because she said she expected Cheney to preserve them himself. The injunction was put in place when a group of government watchdogs and historians claimed that Cheney might destroy some of his records. [UPI]
• Blogette Meghan McCain got an exclusive interview with her mother for The Daily Beast. Cindy said that although she "is not bitter" she did think there was a strong bias in the media against her husband, John McCain. [Wonkette, Poynter]
• Last night Obama held a dinner honoring McCain whom he called an American hero and whose bipartisanship he hopes to follow. [MSNBC, The Page]
• McCain has told Fox News that Palin could someday be President. [The Page]
• An effigy of Sarah Palin with a noose around her neck was taken off of eBay on Sunday. This is the same effigy that was protested by the Mayor of West Hollywood when it was hung outside of a West Hollywood home of a professional window dresser and his partner before the election. [UPI]
• George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, died peacefully in his sleep last night. He was 62. [The Onion]
• Nancy Pelosi went on Fox News to say that she wants Obama to extend the Bush tax cuts (for families earning more than $250,000) when they expire in 2010. [Politico]
• Adorable child-reporter Damon Weaver is still looking to lock down a one-on-one with Obama as he covers the inauguration today. [NPR]
• Ha ha: Bush has decided to not pardon Dick Cheney's former chief of staff, Scooter Libby, for his 2007 conviction in the CIA leak case. [Newsweek]
• Sources say that Obama may quickly issue an executive order to reverse a Bush abortion policy (commonly called "the Mexico City policy") that prohibited funding for international family planning groups that provided, promoted or provided information about abortion services. [CNN]
• Bill Ayers has been denied entry into Canada because of a 1969 conviction during an anti-war demonstration. [MSNBC]
• Oh yeah: in keeping with tradition, Bush left a note for Obama . [MSNBC]

ANA MARIE: Good morning!

MEGAN: Hey there! How are you?

ANA MARIE: A little tie-tie and already tired of the fucking shoe story.

MEGAN: I am actually really impressed with Bush's reflexes. Like, for all those politicians that took cream pies to the faces, Bush was like, nuh-uh. In slow-mo, it's very Matrix-y.

ANA MARIE: I think this should put to rest the rumors that he's drinking again. You know what's really going to suck about this, right?

MEGAN: Other than everything?

ANA MARIE: Journalists no longer be allowed to wear shoes. We're living in a post 12/14 world. And in that world, shoes just aren't worth the risk.

MEGAN: Dude, no one is taking my shoes. I stop with the pedicures in, like, November. I can't afford otherwise.

ANA MARIE: I doubt if you're alone. Lynn Sweet does not seem like a regular pedicure girl.

MEGAN: Plus, not to be mean to the White House press corps, but I'm betting some of those dudes have some gnarly, smelly feet. I really think a room full of unshod reporters' stank feet is probably more of a risk to the President than a shoe.

ANA MARIE: (And I just want to note that I had to cycle through a few names before I got to a WH correspondent that might not get regular pedicures. But I suspect Jake Tapper does!) Yeah, see that is where we disagree! I think many WH correspondents take VERY good care of their tootsies. It's not like they're out there pounding the pavement. Very little reporting involved in covering the White House.

MEGAN: I don't know, it's not like Maureen Dowd is there and can go all Elvira, Mistress of the Dark on him. [Ed: For those with better taste in movies than me, Elvira dispatches the villain at the end with a stiletto to the forehead, killing him. ]

ANA MARIE: I had forgotten that Elvira had her own movie. Thanks. You will not be shocked to know that right now on Morning Joe Pat Buchanan is showing a rather... uhm... exhaustive knowledge of Nazi history. Seriously, though: Pat Buchanan showing up to out-Nazi-trivia Bryan Singer about his own Nazi movie.

MEGAN: Yeah, completely NOT surprised. At least I can blame my Hitler trivia knowledge on the fact that I was a German history minor.

ANA MARIE: FWIW, I sense that Pat, like the heroes of Valkyrie, thinks that Hitler totally ruined Nazism.

MEGAN: Is is strange that I'm surprised that Bryan Singer is kind of hot?

ANA MARIE: I'm a little surprised at how young he seems, but not that he's hot. Usual Suspects was, fuck, over a decade ago?

MEGAN: Directors are so rarely attractive, though.

ANA MARIE: I have not made enough of a study of that. But speaking of studying: Trying to make sense of this Kristol op-ed. Have you read?

MEGAN: I find it hard to read while his grinning pumpkin head stares at me. It's already hard enough to decipher.

ANA MARIE: He and Jim Webb should hire themselves out for Halloween.

MEGAN: Is there enough orange paint in the world for that?

ANA MARIE: I think he wants a bail out? Or he's knocking the GOP for something?

MEGAN: Actually, I am a little horrified that I'm agreeing with some of the things he's saying about Republicans. He's still a reflexive idiot about liberals.

ANA MARIE: He has been kind of an idiot about Republicans!

MEGAN:

But despite the fact that the government is partly responsible for the Big Three’s problems, the right hasn’t really been stirred to enthusiastically promote a deregulatory agenda to help the auto companies. What excites it is mobilizing to oppose bailouts for unionized workers.

Last week, Senate Republicans picked a fight with the U.A.W. on union pay scales — despite the fact that it’s the legacy benefits for retirees, not pay for current workers, that’s really hurting Detroit, and despite the additional fact that, in any case, labor amounts to only about 10 percent of the cost of a car. But the Republicans were fighting Big Labor! They were standing firm against bailouts!

ANA MARIE: I'm not convinced he's always writing this column himself. Not that he's farming it out, but just engaging in automatic writing or something. Letting the spirits speak through him. And this spirit happens to be different than the "I HEART SARAH" one.

MEGAN: It's definitely written through his "all liberals are hypocritical" filter, though.

ANA MARIE: I think he's saying that they should do MORE to deregulate unions besides take on labor. Like, the problems of regulation go beyond unions. By saying that GOP shouldn't have gone after labor, he's NOT saying unions are good. And even though he likes the idea of the "car czar," isn't the car czar idea inherently anti-anti-regulation? My head hurts now. Let's move on

MEGAN: Well, I think he main point actually comes through at the end.

The bill would have allowed President Bush to name a car czar, who could have begun to force concessions from all sides. It also would have averted for now a collapse of the auto industry, and shifted difficult decisions to the Obama administration.

It's all about trying to make his Republican compatriots understand their role is to make Obama look bad.

ANA MARIE: AH! Ain't unity grand?

MEGAN: But let's talk cute: an Obama daughter-Chris Rock daughter playdate. That's a unity of cuteness.

ANA MARIE: But not BIDEN PUPPY CUTE!

MEGAN: Okay, the puppy is very cute, but: he used a breeder. Pound puppies, people, the nation is crying out for change.

ANA MARIE: And, seriously, who DOESN'T want a play date with Sasha and Malia. I mean, I want a playdate with them. I know, I would feel better about a rescue pup. BUT LOOK AT HIS EYES. The puppy's, not Biden's. Though I think that the national had a similar reaction when Obama picked Biden: "We would have preferred HRC BUT LOOK AT HIS EYES."

MEGAN: It is an extremely cute puppy, and the Biden granddaughters will, naturally, get to name him.

Originally, Brown said she was to bring two puppies to Biden, but Biden called and said he wanted to see all the dogs.

"He was very gracious," Brown said. "He hugged and kissed all of the shepherds."

There are also totally women in the world today wishing they were puppies.

ANA MARIE: I LOVE that detail.

MEGAN: Well, how do you not let puppies lick your face?

ANA MARIE: "He hugged and kissed all of the shepherds." Of course he did. That's the only part of the Vice President's job that Biden's not planning on eliminating.

MEGAN: I'm sure that's in the Constitution.

ANA MARIE: I am so glad I'm not in Chicago, btw. You can hear the chattering of teeth in the voices of reporters covering Blago/PEBO (PEBO = "President-Elect Barack Obama" I learned that very recently! Like, journo slang.)

MEGAN: I sort of love how more and more people are like, dude was craaaazzeee when he's obviously just sort of always been an asshole.

ANA MARIE: But you can't "plead asshole" in court.

MEGAN: Actually, I think that should be a legitimate defense. "But, Your Honor, I'm an asshole." I want to hear defendants say that, give 'em 30 days off their sentence or something.

ANA MARIE: I think that was Scooter Libby's first try.

MEGAN: Scooter left out the "stupid" part. Everyone already knows lawyers are assholes. That's the real meaning of "Esquire." Speaking of, I found Shep Smith's interview in Esquire kind of endearing but difficult to read in the absence of questions. Even writing that made me feel like I'd bought into something very bougie about writing.

ANA MARIE: Well it was like hearing one side of a phone conversation. A fascinating conversation! But still, a little disjointed. Maybe they're saving money by not printing the reporter's questions! Something that maybe places like the Tribune Co. and Newsweek should look into!

MEGAN: Less ink, less layoffs? Maybe they should look into this Internet thingie, where there's no ink and no layo... Oh, wait, never mind.

ANA MARIE: I was thinking more, like, how they don't have to pay extras in movies if they don't have lines. If you don't print the reporters' questions, you don't have to pay them.

MEGAN: Maybe we could just let all the people in the news write in the first person about what they're doing and just call it a day. The press is just like this unnecessary middleman in this day and age.

ANA MARIE: EXCEPT THEY'RE NOT, right? I was a conference last week and this guy from Google was all, "we hate it that the MSM is going under, because without them we're not going have quality information to index for people to search." So I was like, "You'll need to start hiring journalists then."

MEGAN: Oh, God, stop. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Or crying so hard I'm laughing, I can't really tell.

MOE: Did you know Obama was a skilled card player? Surprise of the day! Anything else you can think to talk about? Anything at all? I was going to try and get us to read up on whether oil prices are a bubble. I think sorta! Unrelated: has Maureen Dowd gotten even more insane?
MEGAN: Let me read Maureen and make that determination while you read about how a certain lapdog mauled its owner when he found out he was being fed Facon instead of Bacon.

MEGAN: Completely insane. That's, like, practically insulting to everyone involved. Also, who'd'a thunk that she could try so little and still piss off an entire region of the country by making fun of their accents? She's right about Bill Clinton being ruddy. That's about the only thing.
MOE: Hahaha imagery! And who is the so-called "liberal media" in McClellan's case? Like when people tell their dogs to attack swarthy complected strangers who approached the house? But the people are about to set a 9 alarm fire to the house for insurance so the strangers are actually their friends? Anyway I have to say, I'd hate Bush if I were Scott McClellan too but I'm surprised by the intensity/sincerity?

MEGAN: Yeah, I mean, I guess he just got sick of looking stupid and incompetent or something? For my part, what I'm reading it's like a missive from an ex who still loves you but recognizes and even excuses some of your flaws (I know when you stood me up that time it was all your best friend's fault!) but in the end just wants you to know that s/he's just so tired of feeling stupid for loving you. I'm apparently all about metaphors today.

MOE: You know what I like? How Karl Rove comes off with all the evil and none of the genius. McClellan was obviously so far outside the loop he wasn't even in the same time zone as these crooks. And back to your stupid argument:

“There is only one moment during the leak episode that I am reluctant to discuss,” he writes. “It was in 2005, during a time when attention was focusing on Rove and Libby, and it sticks vividly in my mind. … Following [a meeting in Chief of Staff Andy Card’s office], … Scooter Libby was walking to the entryway as he prepared to depart when Karl turned to get his attention. ‘You have time to visit?’ Karl asked. ‘Yeah,’ replied Libby. “I have no idea what they discussed, but it seemed suspicious for these two, whom I had never noticed spending any one-on-one time together, to go behind closed doors and visit privately. …

MOE: At least one of them, Rove, it was publicly known at the time, had at best misled me by not sharing relevant information, and credible rumors were spreading that the other, Libby, had done at least as much. …
McClellan repeatedly embraces the rhetoric of Bush's liberal critics and even charges: “If anything, the national press corps was probably too deferential to the White House and to the administration in regard to the most important decision facing the nation during my years in Washington, the choice over whether to go to war in Iraq. “The collapse of the administration’s rationales for war, which became apparent months after our invasion, should never have come as such a surprise. … In this case, the ‘liberal media’ didn’t live up to its reputation. If it had, the country would have been better served.”

MEGAN: They were too nice to him! Awww. It's like, why didn't you make me seeeeee how bad he was for me??
MOE: Do we have the next David Brock on our hand?
MOE: s
MOE: okay making coffee brb
MEGAN: Well, we will once the Administration rips off his neck and shits down his throat, in 5...4...3...
MEGAN: Oh, holy shit, Chinese Prime Minister Wen Jiabao got himself a Facebook page.
MOE: Great Wall Of Facebook ... snicker
MOE: And we have the earthquake to thank!
MEGAN: And it connects to his Flickr!!
MOE: More than 500 people have written on his wall.
MOE:

The page appears to have been set up recently. It is not clear whether Wen, 65, did it himself. Perhaps another government official put it up, or, just as likely, someone with no ties to Wen.

MEGAN: More than 1,000 people have written on it as of right now, actually.

MOE: So far this is the most profound I've found in English

Evelyn Chang (China) wrote
at 9:06am
Please do take care of yourself!!!!
I know there are many tough problems in China,but don't push yourself too much.
You care about Chinese people,and Chinese people also care about you.

MOE:

Cindy Zhang wrote
at 9:04am
John Doededoe i read quite a few your posting and have to response. First i live in austrlain and have been in last 20 year and did not support chinese government until torch relay so i have nothing to gain in support chinese government, since they never pay anything for me.
You impression of china is distorted by biasd western media and if you only read repression of china after incident i would blame western media.
You mentioned Tiananmen square, but i tell you china has come a long way not just in economy but also in personal and political freedom and i hope your view of china can be updated as well, just like we should not use the histroy of black slave as a reason to again today's USA government. I hope i really want to know china go to china and talk to its ppl as some of view about china is breath taking

MEGAN: It sort of makes me wish I could read Mandarin (I'm assuming it's in Mandarin and not Cantonese).
MOE: The characters are the same no matter what dialect you use.
MEGAN: Ah, my former roommate never told me that. Of course, she hated
me, so she didn't tell me a lot of things.

MOE: But in China (and Singapore) they use simplified versions of them. And in Hong Kong and Taiwan (which speak separate dialects, Cantonese and Taiwanese or Hokkien) they use the old school versions.
MEGAN: Except that when she was young she was a liberal arts major, too, but then she wised up and went to business school and I would, too.
MOE: That's still my plan
MEGAN: She was from Hong Kong, but her parents moved before the transition so they wouldn't lose all their money.
MEGAN: Well, I don't know how great a plan it was for her, but I can tell you how staying a German Lit major ended up for me. Umm, well, I mean, I guess you already know.
MOE: Here's some sophisticated analysis:

Michael Kingston wrote
at 8:59am
I get tired of some people who always give examples of 1 particular person detained or jailed for speaking against the government. The truth is, millions of chinese protest against the gov. every year, and sometimes the gov. gives in. Its no different frm the west.

MEGAN: Can we friend that idiot?
MOE: I like the first 25 pages of Death In Venice btw! But reading it made me somehow woozy. I need a vacation too.
MEGAN: Yeah, it's kind of trippy, right? Luckily, you don't have that many more pages to go. I don't want to spoil it for you, but somebody dies!
MOE: Did you read TRex's post When Good Droids Go Bad?

Goddamn, can we PLEASE just send Karl Rove to Gitmo until we can arrange a suitable trial for him? You know, like, whenever we get around to it?

He'd also like to send Bush to Gruinard a.k.a. Scotland's Anthrax Island, which I didn't know about. (Thanks TRex!) It's always weird reading stories about weapons of mass destruction andsuch dated shortly before 9/11. Somewhere some guy was like, "DUUUDE, I totally did my thesis on this dammit!" Oh and speaking of — well not really, did you catch the interview with Frank Fukuyama?

MEGAN: TRex interviewed Fukuyama? Dude, I would pay actual money to see that.
MEGAN: Just like I'd sorta like to see the look on the Myanmar embassy staff's faces when they start opening up envelope after envelope of used granny panties.

MOE: I touched on it yesterday in News Roundup…There's some stuff about US-Australian relations toward the end which is kind of boring but basically he loves Obama, he is totally over "hard power"…This is the important part:
MOE:

There needs to be great downplaying of the whole war on terrorism. To call it a war I think has over-militarised our objectives and the means that we have used to prosecute it, and I think there has to be a greater shift to the use of soft power in projecting American influence and then there are large areas of the world where we have kind of neglected thinking about things like east Asia where you have obviously got some very big changes going off.

Not a lot of conservatives have gone out and said that. That said, Fukuyama was never a huge jihad guy. We mostly talked about the Latins and the Asians in the class I took. He was going through this phase where he was super into encouraging and galvanizing societal "trust" — which was why I never took him seriously as a neocon.
MEGAN: That must've been, like, his End of History period, right?

MOE: "The End of History" was 1989 I believe, and this was 1998. He had moved on to some Joseph Putnam shit, corporate culture, this book that sort of blamed The Pill for all the West's modern social problems…terror was less on the agenda. I mean, it sort of makes sense. Remember studying policsci in college? Remember all the dual degree engineers and weirdos who threw themselves into covering the "rogue states"? I remember thinking, "Dudes, you know China is going to be a much bigger deal, right?" Well. Not when it comes to getting in on the DoD budget!
MEGAN: I, um, never took a single PoliSci class in college. I was a German Lit and a Sociology major and I minored in History
MEGAN: Also, I finished college in 1999, I'm not sure if rogue states were quite in vogue yet. Maybe they were. I avoided both the PoliSci and IR departments like the plague. Those people were all really, really intense and kind of annoying knowitalls. Yes, I recognize the irony of me saying that.
MOE: Speaking of, what group of auditors and appropriations monitors is worse off than our financial regulatory system?

MOE: Rogue states were totes the rage in some of my classes. But I also went to Penn, where…a lot of kids went on birthright trips.
MEGAN: See, I think the real question is whether the continuing lack of political appointees hurts or actually fucking helps that.
MEGAN: I didn't get a birthright, let alone a birthright trip.
MOE: (And by the way haters I had a wonderful experience and wouldn't change it for …well maybe I would go back and study economics and Russian lit at a small liberal arts college with a slightly lower tool ratio but, anyway, i dropped out because I didn't have the money. That is all.) Finally though.
MOE: Firedoglake wants to know why all these people who leave always express their fondness for the president even as they admit his administration ushered in an era of unprecedented corruption and inhumanity etc. etc.
MOE: And I think about that a lot and I think the answer is simply that the president is retarded.

MEGAN: Washington has elevated CYA to an art form. It's the only place where you can have your cake and eat it, too, and get two birds in the hand and still leave one in a bush. It's where you can sell your boss and all your former colleagues downriver for the sake of your career and still claim that you like and respect them.
MOE: Ahem, I don't think that's really how it went down with Paul O'Neill.
MEGAN: You gotta practice talking out of both sides of your mouth before you come, and Scottie was the White House Press Secretary, he could probably talk out of both sides and the middle.
MOE: See I disagree? What good does it do to say you respect and admire that imbecile? And meanwhile vilify everyone involved in the administration who might have to hold a job later on? I think there's a class of Bush administration defectors — and he's in the camp with O'Neill and the Italian faith-based organization dude Suskind also wrote about —- who look at it like a cult sorta.
MEGAN: Well, but who is going to get him a job? Pay for his speaking engagements? Karl Rove, who thought that Scottie was an idiot? Or the people that think he should be loyal to Bush (his former boss) but don't give a shit about the other people? He's got to prove he's not a fool while still showing loyalty. I think, on that score, he's pretty successful.

• Barry called his grandma a "typical white person" on WIP, a highly erudite Philadelphia AM radio station, and now typical white people everywhere are left to ponder this. [Wonkette]
  
• Scooter Libby was disbarred. it probably could have happened to a nicer guy, but not one who had written so explicitly about dog fucking! [Wash Post]
  
• "You're acting like it's our fault, and it's not." That's JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon to Bear Stearns shareholders. Such a mensch. [NY Mag]
  
• Tibet's whole "independence" idea is catching on with Taiwan just in time to affect their elections. (Wait a second, if Taiwan has its own elections, does it really need independence?) Sigh. [NYT]
  
• A radio interviewer asked Dick Cheney about his dead-bottoming in opinion polls, the squandering of a trillion dollars and the loss of 600,000 or so lives, and Dick Cheney was all like, "So?" No SRSLY. [Wash Post]

• New word alert! "Seduceries." As in, the "Air Jordan of seduceries." [NYT]
• Ugh, Barry and Hillary, if it's not some shit that happened five years ago, it's shit that happened fifteen years ago, and frankly, we are sick. Of this shit. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Lopez never wore that eighteen-tier Vera Wang gown she ordered to marry Ben Affleck but I'm sure it will go into a museum one day because she is such a very important historical figure. [US Weekly]
• Steve-O blames his alcoholism on the fact that his parents put liquor on his pacifier when he cried on planes as a baby. And so do I. [Us Magazine]
• You know? I am all for regulating the shit out of Wall Street. But if John McCain can't keep Iran and Al Qaeda straight and that is his fucking area of expertise I can't say I'm exactly confident in the ability of career legislators to grasp this shit, and creating a whole new regulatory body when the SEC is underfunded as it is seems a little silly. But hey, whatever, go for it Barney Frank. [Politico]
• No do-over in Michigan. [NYT]

• Christina Aguilera is in the family way! Just like with a genie in a bottle, her husband rubbed her the right way. The baby-making way. [E!]
  
• Isaiah Washington's verbal diarrhea of the day: He now says Patrick Dempsey is to blame for his spewing of hate speech. [ABC News]
  
• R.I.P Beverly Sills. And big thanks to our Intro to Opera prof from college, without whom we would not care about Sills' passing. [CNN]
  
• Violent crime in South Africa is at an "unacceptable" level. Do we hear the sweet sound of the Truth and Reconciliation Committee: The Revival? [BBC]

• We all know that Pete Doherty is no fan of rehab. But now he like, totally loves it! Or so he told a judge when faced with the choice of rehab or jail. Rehab is fun! Just ask Lohan, Petey Boy! [BBC]
• President Bush still might pardon Scooter Libby, on top of commuting his sentence? Way to practice small government and morality, Republicans! [CNN]
• Awkward international news item of the day: Japan's defense minister saying that it was sorta okay for the U.S. to have dropped the A-bomb on his country during WWII. And all over the world, people squirm uncomfortably. [NYT]
• Katie Holmes, Rosie O'Donnell, and Anna Nicole (and Larry Birkhead's!) baby were 3 of British tabloid OK's list of the 19 Most Influential Celebrities. We cry for Rosie, to be put in such company. [Yahoo]
• Even senior citizens have to show ID to buy booze in Tennessee now. Which means that those poor, unfortunate college students don't stand a chance in hell. [Slate]
• How does Paris Hilton show how much jail has matured her? By scoring a Hello Kitty t-shirt, of course. [People.com]
• The Dept of Defense's website is down, and thus our regular source for reporting the U.S. casualty reports is thwarted. How do you say "vast right wing conspiracy"? [DoD]
• Wait! Ugh. Reports of 5 U.S. casualties today. [Iraq Coalition Casualties]

• Lindsay Lohan celebrated her entrance into the ranks of legal drinkers at Courteney Cox's Malibu home, which we can only imagine portends an appearance on Courteney's show Dirt wherein Lindsay works for an upstart celebrity news service that gets tipped off to the scene of a young starlet's drunk driving crash. Because at this point that is, like, "funny." Ha ha! [Gatecrasher]
  
• President Bush's decision to play Sheriff Lee Baca to Scooter Libby's Paris Hilton is condemned by Dems, defended by Rudy and Fred Thompson and given the "uhh, I need to actually go back and figure out what this case was about" by the other Republican candidates.
  
• Pete Doherty framed a forlorn scribbled message of love for on/off girlfriendKate Moss. She did not accept it. He then, somewhat histrionically, smashed it in a driveway. Ah, love! [The Sun]

• We can't decide whether Spice Girl Geri Halliwell is the J. Mascis or the Lou Barlow of the Spice Girls reunion. [The Sun]
• Lily Allen imagines the American prison system is probably nicer and more accommodating than the English one. Perhaps because it is run so profitably? [NYMag]
• Prince William and Kate Middleton canoodle from three seats away. [The Sun]
• You know how they say the stars are just like us? When an empty can of cat food stolen out of our trash fetches $305 on Ebay we'll agree with you. [Yahoo News]

• There is no justice in the world: President Bush has commuted Scooter Libby's jail sentence. [MSNBC]
  
• Pam Anderson is 40. And we are speechless. [People]
  
• Looking for a little real estate to invest in? How about Dracula's castle in Transylvania? It's the summer home that comes with vampires! (Garlic bulbs not included). [ABC News]
  
• A border collie named Smooch saved two drowning kayakers. And up in heaven, Lassie smiles. [USA Today]

• We actually screamed, "Holy shit!" out loud when we (thought) we saw a headline reading, "Bill Hits Hillary On Campaign Trail". Though that misreading would still have been less shocking than if we'd read it as "Bill Hits On Hillary On Campaign Trail." [BBC]
• It's official: Salman "No Longer Hiding Despite The Fatwa" Rushdie and Padma "Please Pack Up You Knives, Top Chef Contestants" Lakshmi have split. [CNN]
• Eva Peron (and Patti Lupone?) would be proud: Argentina's First Lady is running for president in her own right. And somewhere in Iowa, Hillary Clinton feels threatened. [NYT]
• Want to sleep less soundly tonight? Read on: That foiled London car bomb was designed to ensure female casualties. [Slate]
• Speaking of casualties, there have been 12 in the U.S. military since Friday. [DoD]

Everything i write here gets twisted and rewritten buy a bunch of lazy fucks who havent got anything better to write about . And the truth is I don't want to be in their fucking stupid magazines and daily fuck rags . I don't want to live in a world where the most interesting thing is Paris Hilton and " how shes doing in jail " . Why do we care , seriously ? Guys the world is MELTING , we are KILLING innocent people , so we can steal their oil , killing them. 400000 people are dead and 2.5 million have no home in Darfur .............. but then again Lindsay did work out at the gym this afternoon and thats what really counts .

• Are Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon having a baby???? A little Gyllenspoon??? [TheBosh.com]
  
• John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are really broken up now. No, really. [People]
  
• You're most likely to get a computer virus by entering "Britney Spears" into your search engine. On a related note, we're too tired to make the inevitable joke about it. [E!]

• Media outlets other than ours also seem to be feeling the internal strife yielded by the release of Knocked Up. [NYMag]
• Best out of context quote we've heard all day? Gisele Bundchen, "Show me a virgin!" [Reuters]
• The latest debate seizing our country? When kids should be allowed to pee. [USA Today]
• Sorry, New Zealand, we beg to differ: Polar bear Knut is still fucking cute. [Stuff.co.nz]
• Cow-moo ringtones are being used to catch leopards in India. We're not entirely sure what this means, but we're intrigued to know how we can get a cow's moo to be our ringtone too. [http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/06/05/leopards.ringtones.reut/index.html?eref=rss_space">CNN.com]
• Scooter Libby got sentenced to 30 months in the big house. (In case you need help with the math, that's like 30 times longer than Paris Hilton will be there.) Consider yourself warned, Cheney. [CNN.com]