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Terrifying Public High School Speaker: If You Take Birth Control, Your Mother Probably Hates You

Meet Pam Stenzel. Pam Stenzel is a highly-paid* lecturer who speaks about the virtues of abstinence. Stenzel spoke on Monday at George Washington High School in Charleston, WV and created quite a stir when she allegedly made comments like, "If you take birth control, your mother probably hates you," and "I could look…

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Florida School District CFO in Trouble for Secret Porn Tumblr, But Is She Any Different Than the Rest of Us Perverts?

We should start a game called fake or Florida? It'll be very fun. I'll provide three insane stories and you'll tell me whether they actually happened in Florida or I made them up (or stole them for dystopian novels). It'll be a total crap shoot because there's nothing I (or Octavia Butler) could dream up that'd be…

D.C. Unleashes the Nation’s First Sex Ed Test on Public School Students and They Do Pretty Okay

There are a lot of immature behaviors and credulous misconceptions that people, over the peripatetic course of their childhood and adolescence are bound to outgrow. We hope. For instance, this made up person I know who definitely is not me used to walk around in a bathrobe with his forearms folded over each other…

This Dance-Off Between Students and School Administrator is the Best Teen Movie We've Ever Seen

In a scene we can only imagine was deleted from the remake of Footloose, a high school kid challenges a school administrator to a motherfucking DANCE OFF. At least, that's what I think is happening, he might also be running from a mouse? Either way, it's pretty much the funniest, sweetest, and weirdest thing we've…