School District Pulls 'Was the Holocaust a Hoax?' Research Assignment
California's Rialto School District, north of San Bernardino, has announced that they're officially striking an assignment from the 8th grade curriculum that asked students to argue "whether or not you believe this was an actual event in history, or merely a political scheme created to influence public emotion and…
Florida School Named for KKK Founder Wisely Decides to Change Its Name
After receiving a petition with over 160,000 signatures, the Duval County Public School Board has voted unanimously to change the name of Nathan B. Forrest High School in Jacksonville, Florida. Nathan B. Forrest — for those of you lucky enough to be a little behind on your history of racists — was a Confederate…
Woman Stops Elementary School Gunman Using Sheer Awesomeness
In the wake of the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School last December, NRA head Wayne LaPierre famously quipped that the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. I guess no one told Antoinette Tuff, who just yesterday prevented a standoff with a gunman from turning into another…
Bulletproof Children's Clothing. Yes, Bulletproof Children's Clothing.
A company in Bogota, Colombia is producing bulletproof kid's clothing. You know, to work in tandem with all the armed guards on campuses and metal detectors that currently prevent school shootings. Oh, wait...
Terrifying Public High School Speaker: If You Take Birth Control, Your Mother Probably Hates You
Meet Pam Stenzel. Pam Stenzel is a highly-paid* lecturer who speaks about the virtues of abstinence. Stenzel spoke on Monday at George Washington High School in Charleston, WV and created quite a stir when she allegedly made comments like, "If you take birth control, your mother probably hates you," and "I could look…
Florida School District CFO in Trouble for Secret Porn Tumblr, But Is She Any Different Than the Rest of Us Perverts?
We should start a game called fake or Florida? It'll be very fun. I'll provide three insane stories and you'll tell me whether they actually happened in Florida or I made them up (or stole them for dystopian novels). It'll be a total crap shoot because there's nothing I (or Octavia Butler) could dream up that'd be…
Giving Teachers Guns? There's No Way This Could End Badly!
After the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, it stood to reason that perpetually underpaid, overworked, and shat upon teachers in other parts of the country might try to imagine what they'd do if a similar situation arose in their workplaces. In some places, they're reviewing safety…
D.C. Unleashes the Nation’s First Sex Ed Test on Public School Students and They Do Pretty Okay
There are a lot of immature behaviors and credulous misconceptions that people, over the peripatetic course of their childhood and adolescence are bound to outgrow. We hope. For instance, this made up person I know who definitely is not me used to walk around in a bathrobe with his forearms folded over each other…
This Dance-Off Between Students and School Administrator is the Best Teen Movie We've Ever Seen
In a scene we can only imagine was deleted from the remake of Footloose, a high school kid challenges a school administrator to a motherfucking DANCE OFF. At least, that's what I think is happening, he might also be running from a mouse? Either way, it's pretty much the funniest, sweetest, and weirdest thing we've…

