Jezebel 
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New York, 4:53 PM
Thu Nov 12
73 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/04/09
10/07/09
SHE CAN TELL, GUYS.
10/07/09
10/07/09
But, they are asking a school system to incorporate their daughter into a classroom with healthy children. Sadly, she is far too sick to be there. They are asking a teacher to do the heavy-lifting for them during the day, and teachers are too under-paid and under-qualified to conduct a class and take care of the special needs of a severely mentally-ill child. The two worlds are too different. He goes so far as to hold the teacher partially responsible for Jani's "suicide" attempt!
While I can feel his frustration jump off the page, ultimately, he is the most responsible for his daughter's care. NOT a school system: they cannot do the parenting and care of a schizophrenic. That is not what education for children is designed to do.
10/07/09
From [www.januaryfirst.org] :
"I have had to recall a memory of once trying to throw Susan out of our moving car because I was so angry."
"So what would set me off? It was always the little things. Perhaps something would spill on the floor (I did most of the cleaning)."
"I was never as bad as Jani, but my experience gives me hope that maybe one day Jani can learn to control her violent urges."
"Who I was at work was very different from who I was at home. The girls who I flirted with on campus never saw the side of me that Susan and Jani saw."
"Family failed us repeatedly. All of them. Susan's family and mine (although Dad was always good for a check when we needed it)."
"I am convinced Susan's grandmother is still alive only because God simply doesn't want her."
"In the meantime, I returned to flirting on Facebook with various women (sorry, girls)."
"After inquiring as to her checking account (Susan and I have separate accounts- a legacy of my near affair ten months ago), I learned that the one thousand dollars that Susan's mother had transferred to Susan at my request... was gone. Susan had, without thinking, paid her student loan. I blew up."
"I will not wish any ill on Andy though because if he has a soul, it will eat him alive. Enjoy the rest of your life, brother-in-law, and take care of my nieces. Tell them they are always welcome, even if you are not."
And this is just from ONE ENTRY on Jani's father's blog. The guy sounds like the furthest thing from "wonderful" I can imagine. I pity his wife and daughter more than words can say.
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10/06/09
Also, my heart breaks for this girl's parents. I can't imagine having to deal with something this difficult, especially with no end in sight. That's like my worst nightmare about having kids--the idea that there could be something terribly wrong with them that you can't fix and you'd have to spend the rest of your life dealing with it.
10/07/09
Put your prejudice away and, trust me, there are far worse nightmares than having a kid with a disability. I hate that so many people seem to think that this is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to them. What does that say about attitudes towards people with disabilities? Do you know how often i hear "I couldn't do what you do"? Well, guess what? You could and, chances are, like me you'd do just fine.
Remember, perfection comes in all sorts of shapes. Sometimes you just have to open your eyes and see it.
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/06/09
Also, it was really sad when her dad had to admit that he tried to kill himself at one point. I kept wishing throughout the whole show that Oprah was going to give them some kind of help- maybe a house, a special nanny, groceries, anything! I admire the parents for being so selfless and trying as hard as they can to keep their children happy and healthy. It clearly is a tough job.
10/07/09
10/06/09
I know plenty of therapists and physicians who make "declarative statements" such as Tegan's outside of their practices. This does not negate their capacity to be effective at their job.
I understand that psych. issues are very very personal to many people, but you have to also understand that for the professional working in this domain, they don't necessarily live with these issues on an intimate level, and their statements aren't meant to demean the patients, but should be understood as criticism of their profession.
We often fail to see doctors and therapists as people, with real emotions, who don't always - especially not on feminist blogs dealing with pop-culture - think with their ethical filters in place. They do sometimes say to their friends, "i had a patient and they were so fucked-up. Oh my god, I was so pissed off at how my colleague diagnosed him, etc. etc."
10/06/09
10/06/09
If anyone wants to express doubt, that's one thing. But to cite your profession and then proceed to disagree with a diagnosis is something else entirely.
It'd be like listening to someone discuss their symptoms of stomach cancer, which can at the outset sound very similar to an ulcer and saying "I'm a doctor, and I heard you discuss very briefly your symptoms and have to disagree with the opinion of your physician, who has worked with you on an extended basis, and ran tests to back up their diagnosis."
Very different thing than doctors coming home after work, and discussing their day. And if they're being ethical about it (and, let's face it, everyone should try and operate with their ethical filters in place, even if they're not on the clock) they'll have a standing understanding with the people they vent to that this isn't for general discussion.
10/06/09
10/07/09
10/06/09
"No, I understand that it was the disease," but obviously looked pissed and was not at all empathetic. What the hell? This kid is obviously very ill.
10/06/09
10/06/09
Jani's incredibly complex. She's got an IQ of 146, but can flash-change from smiling to (quite literally) biting in an instant. There's no way Oprah wasn't told about a child who might attack her with absolutely no warning. And her dad's very clear about her behaviour. She's compelled to do things that, even as she does them, she really doesn't want to do.
This is a child who has made some genuine efforts to suicide, who runs into traffic, who gets told by an imaginary cat to hurt people or he'll hurt them. Baby voicing a 7-year old just doesn't cover it.
10/06/09
Especially with kids.
I'm not saying that was the barrier to conversation here, but it seems to me like Oprah had written off any kind of connection with this kid before she started, and was just going through the motions to have some footage to show of how "angry and damaged" this kid is.
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