[London, September 16. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Did L.A. boutique Maxfield drop Victoria Beckham's dVb in favor of Holmes & Yang? Posh's people say Maxfield hasn't ordered the line for three seasons, and the decision had nothing to do with Katie Holmes, who is Posh's friend. [P6]

• Luckily, old bandmate Mel B says she loves Posh's clothing lines. "I'm going out with Geri and Emma while I'm here — and I'll be wearing one of Victoria's dresses," the singer told a crowd in London. [Daily Mail]
• American Apparel is laying off 1,500 workers — more than 10% of its total workforce — because of immigration violations. When ICE raided its factory in downtown L.A. two months ago, 1,600 workers were found to be unauthorized to work in the U.S., and a further 200 were found to have immigration irregularities. Company founder Dov Charney released a statement saying: "Many of you have been with me for so many years, and I just cry when I think that so many people will be leaving the company. It is my belief that immigrants bring prosperity to any economy." This is the latest in a long line of bad news for the company. From being dogged with sexual harassment lawsuits, to the $5 million settlement it had to pay Woody Allen in May after using his image on billboards without authorization, to this week's reprimand from the British Advertising Standards Authority for "sexualising a child," American Apparel can't seem to keep its house in order. [LATimes]
• There are behind-the-scenes shots of Lily Allen working with Karl Lagerfeld on the new Chanel Cocoon bag campaign. [DailyMail]
• We don't doubt that Patrick Demarchelier is planning to shoot 100 top models in Fashion's Night Out t-shirts outside Bryant Park on September 9, but somehow we think someone got confused when noting that "Iman and her daughter Chanel" would be among them. [WWD]
• OMG! Modelfights on Project Runway: Models Of The Catwalk. [P6]
• If you have any interest in beautiful, softly draped leather jackets, deconstructed tee shirts, or vaguely gothic skintight pants — or if you just want to know where that ubiquitous no-closure wraparound sweater, like a high-fashion snuggie ancestor, that everyone from Alice + Olivia to Eileen Fisher has knocked off came from originally — you need to learn about Rick Owens, now. And how his aesthetic is back in a big way just now. [NYTimes]
• Speaking of which, peep Jennifer Connelly in the British InStyle in Rodarte thigh-high boots and Olivier Theyskens' gothic heel-less 8" runway shoes. [Daily Mail]
• Also big for fall, at least in men's wear: Steve McQueen. [WSJ]
  
• There's a rumor going around that Peter Som is set to become the first creative director of Tommy Hilfiger. [WWD]
• Thom Browne is launching two new lower-priced lines for Spring 2010. [WWD]
• Mark your calendars! She by Sheree, apparently some design offspring of a Real Housewife, is coming to Fashion Week. [People]
• Juergen Teller, who shoots all of Marc Jacobs' campaigns, reports that only one set of images has ever caused any particular controversy — and it's not the ones of a then-12-year-old Dakota Fanning, which even the photographer calls "very hard-core." In Fall of 2006, Jacobs chose makeup artist Dick Page and his partner, James Gibbs, to star in the campaign, and Teller shot the couple making out in the woods outside their home. There was a furor: Men's Vogue even refused to run the ads. [The Moment]
• Kenny Chesney says his new clothing line, Blue Chair Bay, is designed to reflect his life off the stage. "I would wear these clothes in Malibu, East Tennessee, where I'm from, or on my boat in St. John," the singer explained at MAGIC, the apparel trade conference that just ended in Las Vegas. Chesney's apparel partners had an airstream full of clothes and purposefully-weatherbeaten blue wicker chairs parked in their booth at the show. [WWD]
• Daisy Lowe's jewelry line with Swarovski is said to feature pieces inspired by the stars, moon, and planets. [Elle UK]
  
• Derek Lam's CEO, Jan Schottlman, denies the anonymous reports published by Page Six that the company is haemorrhaging money. [The Cut]
• Dooney & Bourke are going back to models for their campaigns after seasons of using actresses. Hayden Panettiere is getting thrown over for Maggie Rizer. [WWD]
• Georgia May Jagger, in her new denim ad: "Hudson jeans. Soft...and blue. And very tight." Descriptive! [TDB]
• Richard Chai is doing a line with Keds. Chai's sneakers, which are canvas and leather in white, grey and black, have silver zippers between the rows of eyelets. They hit stores in January of next year, and pricing information isn't yet available. [WWD]
• Someone painted an entire Spanish Colonial-style bungalow in Louis Vuitton's signature logo print. So long as Britney Spears doesn't use it as the set for her next video, we imagine these folks in Mexicali might be safe from LVMH's lawyers. [BoingBoing via hazmeelchingadofavor]

• Whoa: Recent quotes about Scarlett Johansson's marriage to Ryan Reynolds were "wholly fabricated": The actress "has at no point granted U.K. Cosmopolitan an interview, and never discussed her personal relationships with the publication." [E!]

• Nicole Kidman dared to blow into a didgeridoo on German TV and now Aboriginal leaders are upset and Nicole might be unable to ever bear children again! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• It's a good thing Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back together; her camp was "shopping" for dates so she wouldn't have to be single during her Marley & Me publicity blitz. [Page Six]
• Did Sharon Osbourne get in a "catfight" with a Rock of Love: Charm School contestant? Megan Hauserman claims Sharon "went ballistic," pulled her hair and scratched her during the filming of the reunion special. Don't mess with Mrs. Osbourne! [The Sun]
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks: Engaged! [People]
• Lovely: Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Incarcerated, was offered £5,000 to find a hitman to kill Amy's drug dealer. Just another day in Fielder-Civil world! [News Of The World]
• Who will accept the Golden Globe if Heath Ledger wins? His father, Kim? Michelle Williams — on behalf of Matilda? Director Chris Nolan? Christian Bale? [Rush & Molloy]
• American Idol will be completely revamped when it comes back in January: Expect fewer bad singers and more "aspirational" singers. Oh, and that fourth judge. [People, USA Today]
• Jay-Z buying office furniture counts as "gossip" ? [Page Six]
• Did a gift trigger the Jennifer Hudson family murders? When Jennifer's sister Julia turned 31, William Balfour stopped by and spotted a present he believed was from another man. [People]
• Jennifer Hudson canceled her video shoot right after she announced she was ready to go back to work. [The Sun]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham once said that her belly was flabby. "Now everyone thinks I have a stomach like a Shar-Pei dog when I don't," she says. Dear Posh, no one thinks that. [Mirror]
• Three years ago, Simon Cowell told Esquire magazine that he found Beyoncé "mystifying" and "not sexy"; apparently he recently had to apologize so she would appear on his X Factor show. See Simon grovel. [Daily Express]
• Holy crap. Michael Jackson's outfit is something yours truly has worn. Except for the face mask. And the hat. And the clogs. [Concrete Loop]
• Gossip Girl gossip! Leighton Meester is engaged, according to her "secret" Facebook page. Beau Sebastian Stan is the lucky man. [Page Six]
• "I just love her music, and she’s so real. I picked out [my outfit] two nights ago." — one of the many tweens who love Miley Cyrus. [WWD]
• Will Smith is not always up-to-date: "I sat there with my children and my 16-year-old son couldn't understand how I didn't know [the election] was over already. He was like 'You're out of touch.'" [AP]
• Speaking of Will Smith: A Hancock sequel and a I Am Legend prequel in the works? [Page Six]
• A snippet of this Robert Pattinson interview: "Before I have to go out to face a crowd, I stare and stare at myself in the mirror until I have to tell myself to stop staring, since there’s nothing I can do." Because of the expectations? "Yes." [Times Of London]
• Peaches Geldof hired her ex-boyfriend to work on her magazine and her husband is pissed. [Mirror]
• Hilary Duff and Mandy Moore were forced to use the front entrance at a party instead of the paparazzi-free back door, boo hoo. [Page Six]
• An Australian woman says she hooked up with Gordon Ramsay; Ramsay says "I've never even heard of her." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which actor who played a cheating husband on TV has been cheating on his wife in real life? At an annual charity golf tournament on Long Island last summer, he spotted an attractive beautician, got her number, and found out she was willing." [Page Six]
• Aretha Franklin missed an award presentation but showed up for the benefit concert portion of a show for the Soldiers', Sailors', Marines', Coast Guard and Airmen's Club. [AP]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, is single and ready to mingle: "I'd love to have a boyfriend. It’s not that I’m looking but I think that if my heart is open, someone will walk in. Let’s hope someone does." [Daily Express]
• Now that she's broken up with Simon Cowell, Terri Seymour is renovating her L.A. mansion. Hmm, where is she getting the cash? [Daily Mail]
• Mischa Barton has got her hands on another rock dude; this time it's Luke Pritchard of the Kooks. [Mirror]
• Director Terry Gilliam has written an essay on Heath Ledger, who died halfway though Gilliam's film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Gilliam writes: "In terms of his acting, it still rankles with me that he's dead because he would have been streets ahead of anyone else in his generation. He just kept getting better and better. He was fearless." [Guardian]
• Roger Avary, Oscar-winning screenwriter of Pulp Fiction, pleaded not guilty to vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence of alcohol in a fatal crash from last January. [AP]
• Jerry Hall is "disgusted" with Rolling Stone rocker Ronnie Wood for leaving his wife Jo and running off with a 20-year-old Russian cocktail waitress. When he came to visit, Jerry wouldn't answer the door. Burn! [Daily Mail]
• "I guess everyone's broke so times are tough for all. But while I don't care much for club spots anyway, it would've been fun with Tommy again. Still, now I can go snowboarding with my kids. So it's meant to be." — Pamela Anderson, who had a Las Vegas gig with Tommy Lee axed due to the crap economy. [Mirror]
• "I think it's really disgusting when a celebrity isn't doing something for charity. It feels so good, and it's so easy- - when you've got the money and you've got the exposure - to give something back." — Mel "Scary Spice" B. [Daily Mail]
• "When he died, there were all these nonsensical stories coming out about Heath Ledger, James Dean and River Phoenix, all destroyed by the system - but that's bullshit. What happened was an absurd accident. I still don't understand it. I know he was exhausted - the last thing he said was that he was so tired and just wanted to sleep. You actually think at certain times angels come down to earth and Heath might have been one of them. And then he's gone and you think: this is all wrong, all the other people should be dead. He should be leading us all into a wonderful world of adventure." — Terry Gilliam on Heath Ledger. [Guardian]

• Deets on the Diane von Furstenberg comic book! "With 'Be the Wonder Woman You Can Be, Featuring the Adventures of Diva, Viva & Fifa,' the new comic book she authored, she doesn’t just turn herself into a bonafide superheroine, but offers inspiring tales about women and the life-empowering choices they face — all with illustrations by artist Konstantin Kakanias." Plus, it's got the stamp of approval from real life WW's Gloria Steinem and Lynda Carter. We're sure the 13-year-old boys are already lined up! [WWD]
• Despite repeated evidence that she should never talk ever, Kate Moss is appearing on a new style TV show. [Fashionista]
• Kate Winslet is not, repeat, not, playing Vivienne Westwood. [People]
• In bad news for the environment and boring news for the rest of us, model Jessica Stam gets her pilot's license. Or talks about getting one. [Fashionista]

• Heidi Klum obviously hates Kenley. "We don’t change their words. What they say is what they say. So she was the way you see her. She was laughing at people at times, she would talk back. And it is a very hard thing for these designers to be on the runway and show themselves to everyone, but this is what you sign up for. You have to take the criticism. And I don’t think she could handle that very well. But she is a good designer." [LA Times]
• Gwyneth Paltrow sells hand-me-downs for charity. We're sure you can read all about it on her dumb blog. [ElleUK]
• Santino Rice has a reality show in the works. We very much doubt it will be "bigger than Project Runway” but whatevs! [Fashion Week Daily]
• This is cool: the Metropolitan Museum's entire costume institute collection is now online. [WWD]
• Banana Republic forces the Paul Taylor Dance Company out of its longtime home. Hey, Paul Taylor, people shouldn't have to walk a full three blocks to buy chinos! Stop being so selfish! [NY Times]
• Denim-distressing is a full-time job. [BoingBoing]
• Mel B's underwear ad. It's her, in underwear. [The Mirror]
• The consensus: Paris Fashion Week was the best of the bunch. But buyers are still cutting way back. [WWD]
• IMG — which handles all the, um, real fashion weeks — is no longer repping LA's. [NY Post]
• England's street-style program, The Clothes Show, bans super-skinny guys in oder to discourage "manorexia." (Interestingly, when my brother was in London, he was asked to appear on this. Presumably before this rule went into effect.) [Daily Mail]
• "A model will now be assessed if he is too thin by looking at his body mass index, with any model below 19 being classed underweight.Those with 26 and 28 inch waists will also be classed as the male equivalent of a female size zero and will not be allowed to take part." Suck it, Charlie Stein! [Telegraph]
• French It girl Lou Doillon is opening a store. She says vaguely, "We’ll have a mix of fashion, literature, modern and old, with more of an English than French influence, and not conventional." [ElleUK]
• Anya Hindmarch has hit Target. [Sonia Rykiel show sucked. "'The invitations promised everyone cab rides home,' said one of the 800 guests. But when it was time to head back to the City of Light, our reveler was shocked to find the meter in her cab 'had been running for an hour . . . All the cabs showed up an hour before guests left and started running their meters,' said our snitch. 'Nobody told us we would be paying for cabs, but we had to cough up over 75 euros to get back to the city. There was no other way to get home.'" [NY Post]
• Reshuffling at obscurely grossly-named Aquascutum. [VogueUK]

• Apparently emboldened by last week's success in Milan, Bruno — aka Sacha Baron Cohen — crashed Stella McCartney today. "With his red thong clearly visible above his jeans, the comedian — who was virtually unrecognisable in a flamboyant leather gilet, with his slicked-down hair dyed blonde and brown — sucked Tampax, clapped along to the music and generally disgruntled the front row by continually pushing aside those sitting in front of him for a better look at the models." He then delivered a "lone standing ovation." [VogueUK]
• In total radness: DVF to design a comic book in connection with her Wonder Woman-inspired collection. Really hoping she has to make the rounds of the comics conventions. [Fashionista]
• Chloe Sevigny gets into menswear. Well, Gallo will wear it. [Nylon]

• Andre Benjamin's clothing line is for the modern fop. "To create a persona for his fashion line, Mr. Benjamin combined his surname with that of Bill Bixby. The character is a world traveler whose wardrobe includes things like a $995 cotton corduroy blazer, a $350 felted waistcoat and a $95 newsboy cap." [NY Times]
• Whoever wears that will surely be the intended demographic for "J. Crew's first book." "Written by Max Blagg and illustrated by Hugo Guinness, What a Man Should Know is a collection of 50 (very) whimsical tips for the modern male. So what should you know? Chess, wine, and figure-drawing." [Men.Style]
• Some people claimed Heidi stole the Project Runway premise — aka the same setup every single competition reality show has ever had ever. A judge, not surprisingly, dismissed it. [wwltv]
• Michelle Obama sports H&M on the campaign trail. [BlackBook]
• Lagerfeld video. Nuff said. [NY Mag]
• Scary Spice Mel B wants a Project Runway-style reality show. Get in line, kid. [E]
• Rather than going bargain basement, Target courts recessionistas. [Business Week]
• More on Miss Sixty's woes. [BBC]
• Sorta It-Girl Cory Kennedy to replace Kinda It-Girl Daisy Lowe as the face of Docs. [Fashionista]
• Levi's tries way, way too hard: "The San Francisco company has launched a new viral effort it hopes will attract young men to pass along videos of customized "beasts" emerging from the button-fly of Levi's jeans. At Unbuttonyourbeast.com, visitors can choose from nine different animated characters with names like Trout Troutman, Paul the Pincher and Sock Nasty, then customize the beast's message by calling a toll-free number. The effort, unsurprisingly, is geared to young men just out of college." The emails are titled, "Do you dare to unbutton my beast?" [AdWeek]
• India eases the way for the burgeoning luxury market. [IHT]
• Guy Ritchie's first hit since hooking up with Madge: a Nike ad gets big on YouTube. [Telegraph]
• Naomi Campbell's gonna walk for Hermes; everybody flips out. [Fashion Week Daily]
• I wish these celebs would stop calling their mix tapes "albums." Anyhoo, Heatherette designer Richie Rich's, "Celebutante," is about to drop. [Fashionista]
• "If there were a gold medal for marathon modeling, Shalom Harlow would surely win it for the Viktor & Rolf fashion film that will begin today on the Dutch duo’s Web site. 'It was like the fashion Olympics,' said Rolf Snoeren, who, with Viktor Horsting, reenacted a high-tech version of 'Funny Face' to showcase their spring collection. 'It was 14 hours a day on high heels, but she was a champion.'” [WWD]
• 80's power shoulders are big (sorry) on the Paris runways. [WSJ]
• That gold statue of Kate Moss was just unveiled. [Mirror]
• UGGS are like cockroaches: all that will be left after a nuclear holocaust. While everything else is foundering, UGGs is way up! [WSJ]
• The Lauren Conrad line forlorn and unbought. [Page Six]
• Bossy new bikini has "decorative beads" that change color when UV rays grow dangerously high. [Telegraph]
• Screw Jimmy Choos. Cheap shoes make more sense for actual walking. [Daily News]
• "Margherita Missoni, meanwhile, has experienced some teasing for wearing vintage sparkling Harper’s Bazaar frames — due to an eye problem. 'Suzy Menkes says it’s my Sarah Palin look,' she laughed. 'It is definitely not inspired by her.'" [WWD]

• While everyone was busy focusing on the presidential debates, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds got married. The ceremony took place Saturday night at a "remote wilderness resort" outside of Vancouver, Canada. The bride is 23, the groom is 31 and they have been dating since 2007. [Us Magazine, People]
• Heather Locklear was busted on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday night in Santa Barbara, CA. Apparently a witness saw her driving erratically while leaving a parking lot. This report says: The witness said Locklear was revving her engine loudly, and backed over a pair of sunglasses several times." Cops found Heather by the side of the highway "disoriented and impaired." Prescription drugs appear to be the blame; Heather just left a treatment facility for anxiety and depression 2 months ago. She looks rather stunned in her mug shot. [People, TMZ, ET]
• Heath Ledger left behind at least $145,000 in assets and cash — but maybe as much as $20 million in the estate — and Heath's father has announced that every penny will go to Matilda. [News.com.au]
• The company that wrote Heath Ledger's $10 million life insurance policy is being sued after claiming the actor's death might have been a suicide, even though officials concluded it was accidental. If it was suicide, the company won't have to pay. [TMZ]
• Jermaine Dupri partied so hard on his 36th birthday that he vomited in Janet Jackson's lap. [Page Six]

• Paul Newman made plans to continue to be charitable after his death. One hundred percent of the profits from his food company, Newman's Own, continue to benefit camps for children with life-threatening illnesses and thousands of other charities. [Yahoo News]
• Barbra Streisand on Sarah Palin: "When you run for the second highest office in the land, you better be ready to answer questions from the press and the American people. […] This reminds me of the movie business...when the studio knows it has a dud on its hands, they ban reviewers from seeing it beforehand." [Campaign Silo]
• Amy Winehouse's friends have her on 24-hour surveillance because she is "in a very fragile state at the moment." [The Sun]
• Amy smacked someone in the face for no reason last Thursday, not that anyone is surprised. [TMZ]
• Did Amy's bodyguard hit a paparazzo with his car? [Daily Express]
• "Look where I am now. Look what happened to my dreams. This isn’t a life – I’m a mess, look at me. What life do I have? My life begins when Blake gets out of prison. He is my life, I want to see him." — Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• Could former drug addict Russell Brand mentor Amy? [Daily Mail]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham on her kids: "They are getting American accents. I think it’s really cute." [The Sun]
• Please to be looking at these "kinky boots" Posh wore: wet-look pleather with no heel. [The Sun]
• The Galaxy is called Major League Soccer's richest club, thanks to David Beckham. [Daily Express]
• Cammy Diaz's boyfriend Paul Sculfor stopped doing coke when his hair started falling out. He says: "I'm lucky it grew back. I'm not vain but I'm obsessed with my hair." [Mirror]
• Mel "Scary Spice" B will get somewhere in the six figures for "artistic yet revealing photos" for Playboy. Chances that the magazine cover line will be "Zigazig-ah!": High. [Mirror]
• You know Amy Adams of Junebug and Enchanted? Her mom works at Starbucks. "I was like, 'Mom, you cannot tell everybody who comes in to get a latte that your daughter is an Oscar nominee." [Page Six]
• A while back, Kate Moss drew a self-portrait in lipstick; Pete Doherty wrote, "Who needs blood when you've got lipstick?" on the canvas; Saturday it was purchased for £33,600 at auction by a "mystery buyer." [BBC News]
• Jack Osbourne and his mom Sharon witnessed a dude steal a woman's purse; Jack chased the guy and tackled him, restraining him until cops arrived. "I could see the girl was in trouble; it just felt like the natural thing to do. I'm glad it turned out OK," Jack says. Get the man a cape! [UPI]
• Chris Brown and Rihanna hit Kentucky Fried Chicken and Ri's shoes are pretty intense for a fast food outing. [The.Life Files]
• Don't use your BlackBerry at the table when Countess Luann de Lesseps is in the area; she will school you. And if you're Asian, she'll tell you that European men "adore Asian females because of their submissiveness. So work that to your advantage." [Page Six]
• Kylie Minogue is set to perform at the opening of the Atlantis Hotel in Dubai in November, but the terror threat level is high for the event. [News.com.au]
• A Kylie musical??? [The Sun]
• Dennis Quaid is pissed that Meg Ryan's been blabbing about their their past. "It was eight years ago, and I find it unbelievable that Meg continues publicly to rehash and rewrite the story of our relationship," he says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Have you seen that Kid Rock/Dale Earnhardt Jr. commercial for the National Guard? You will want to harm yourself or others. [Jossip]
• A remake of My Fair Lady will star Keira Knightley and either George Clooney or Brad Pitt. The two friends are battling for the role of Henry Higgins, each offering to take a pay cut. Who do you think should play the professor? [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais is not necessarily going to host the Oscars. The producers haven't made any decisions yet. [Daily Express]
• Kristin Scott Thomas makes films in English and in French. "So far there hasn’t been much crossover between the French-language career and the English one, but maybe it will happen this time," she says. Her film I've Loved You So Long opens October 24. [NY Times]
• Sure, she battled heart disease before going to Dancing With The Stars, but Toni Braxton is a surivor, not a victim. Get it right. [TMZ]
• Kathy Griffin is suing the cybersquatters who own KathyGriffin.com. Only Kathy makes fun of Kathy! [Perez Hilton]
• Grammy-winning R&B singer Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds and his girlfriend Nicole Pantenburg have welcomed their first child together. [People]
• Tina Turner's concert tour starts October 1 in Kansas City, MO. "I've been away from America — home — for at least a good 12 years. I have some memories of certain towns and when we started to think about where to start… Kansas City and St. Louis were areas I played a lot, a lot, when I was here." She also says: "I think the costumes are fantastic." [UPI]
• A Sean John employee got his hands on Pharrell Williams' e-mail address somehow and contacted him repeatedly; the "situation" was "handled internally." [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven: Seen swigging booze out of a tiny bottle during the Emmys. [Page Six]
• Blind items: "Which fame-hungry 'social' spends so much time stuffing cocaine up her nose, her hangers-on have taken to calling her 'Coco Puff?' Which designer daughter and her husband are stirring the pot on both coasts? She had tongues wagging in LA over her scary skinny bod, while her other half was recently kicked out of a Hamptons hot spot for slugging another guy." [Page Six]
• Little Britain: The Movie? [Mirror]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood faces £50million divorce pay-out after he is pictured on intimate date with Russian lover, 20. [Daily Mail]
• Clark Gable almost walked off the set of Gone With The Wind because of rampant racism. [Page Six]
• Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will perform at this year's Super Bowl halftime show in Tampa, FL. [CNN]
• "Contrary to a spate of recent reports, Robert Plant will not be touring or recording with Led Zeppelin. Anyone buying tickets online to any such event will be buying bogus tickets." — A statement from Robert Plant. [BBC News]
• "You sit there and say, Who am I selling this movie to? Who’s the audience? And the answer is, No one." — A Hollywood insider on Tom Cruise's new flick, Valkyrie. [Fox 411]
• "There was something about him. There was definitely this sensation that we already knew each other, we just had to get better acquainted. It was very intense very early on and we were very much attracted to each other." — Bob Dylan's former long-term girlfriend, Suze Rotolo, who is on the cover of his breakthrough album Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody’s like, 'Oh, we’ve been waiting for this album forever.' But no one has waited longer than me. I’ve been waiting since I was 7 years old." — Jennifer Hudson, whose self-titled debut drops tomorrow. [NY Times]
• "My heart just feels a little bit different, softer and somehow more in love. I don't know how. But it just feels really romantic and lovely." — Ellen DeGeneres on married life. [People]
• "It’s fun, it’s not meant to be taken so seriously, it’s cheeky, and let’s face it, we’re living in a world right now where the economy has gone into hell in a hand basket, our environment is in a lot of trouble, and the world is just not a great place, we’re still at war. If I can throw some humor out of speaking in third person, it’s really not that serious, and I think we have a lot bigger issues in this world to worry about than what tense I’m speaking in." — Project Runway's Suede. [NY Mag]

• The crew on Madonna's world tour is threatening to quit because they had to stay at a cheap airport hotel while she stayed in an £11,000-a-night castle. It cannot be confirmed whether or not Her Madgesty said, "Let them eat cake." [Mirror, WOW Report]
• Here's the latest on David Duchovny: He may have had an addiction to online porn. And he may have released a statement about it because he was already in treatment and a fellow patient was about to sell info to the tabloids. [Fox News]
• Looking back at old interviews, Duchovny revealed his love of porn and '80s porn stars. [People]
• Meanwhile, Tea Leoni has canceled her appearance at the Toronto Film Festival. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan hung out with Sam Ronson instead of going to her grandfather's wake on Long Island. [The Sun]
• Lindsay signed a MySpace message "This song is for SR… ILY." Translation: "This song is for Sam Ronson. I love you." [Pop Dirt]
• Are Queen Latifah and her long time partner Jeanette Jenkins planning on adopting? Are they out now? [ONTD]

• Some dude's been arrested for stealing a digital camera that had pictures of Kate Middleton and Prince William vacationing in Mustique together. The camera belonged to Kate's little sister Pippa and the guy intended to sell the snaps to the tabloids, obvs. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Spacey: Seen pinching the bare bottom of some dude. [Mr. Paparazzi, via Perez Hilton]
• Says a witness: "Kevin looked like he was having a brilliant time." [The Sun]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck of The View is heading to the Republican National Convention on Thursday. She'll fly in and out on the same day. "I must really want John McCain elected," she says, "because I would not get on a plane like that for anyone else." Oh, the sacrifice! Thank God McCain has you. [NY Daily News]
• The apocalypse is nigh: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are opening a bar. In NEW YORK. To be called The Hill. [W]
• Save Katie! The anti-Scientology group Anonymous will be protesting at opening night of Katie Holmes' Broadway debut in All My Sons. "We aren’t looking to shut it down, we just want to prove a point," says a spokesperson. [MSNBC]
• Josh Hartnett and and unnamed female friend went into a little-used library at a SoHo hotel and started getting "hot and heavy." Since the hotel — and the library — are under security camera surveillance, the staff saw a little show on a monitor. No video link, sorry! [MSNBC]
• Michael Phelps shot a cameo for the new season of Entourage. "It was like being in New York City with one of the Beatles," Kevin "E" Connolly says. "People were stopping in the streets and climbing up things to see him. They were going nuts. He's like a superstar." [Yahoo News]
• Meanwhile, Michael Phelps is totally not talking about the ladies and doing his best to have some privacy: "I never said I have a girlfriend, and I never said I don't have a girlfriend," he says. [People]
• DNA evidence has linked an air conditioning repairman to the 2001 stabbing death of Ashley Ellerin, Ashton Kutcher's former girlfriend. [Yahoo News]
• Johnny Depp was on stage with his old band! One night only! He played guitar and sang backup! It was for charity. [Yahoo News]
• This was probably inevitable but still: Oy: Agyness Deyn is working on a Hollywood career. [Daily Mail]
• Not that you asked, but Britney has been working out "super hard" and is in "great shape." [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie would like to work on a European film. "No one has asked me yet," she says. "When I can really speak it, maybe I'll try out for a French film in a few years." [Breitbart]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: Moving in together? They looked at a $22 million mansion in Malibu and Sienna liked it. (At that price point, what's not to like?) [Perez Hilton]
• Maroon 5's Adam Levine: Seen hitting on newly single Anne Hathaway at the Vanity Fair DNC party. Uh-oh, isn't Adam on that herpes chart? [Fox News]
• James Gandolfini, 46, married his fiancée Deborah Lin, 40, in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii on Saturday. "They both wore long, green leis around their necks," says a source. "There were lots of white flowers on the tables and Gandolfini was beaming." [People]
• French actress Emmanuelle Beart and director Fabrice Du Welz are defending their latest movie, Vinyan, in which Beart stars as a mother who loses her son to the 2004 tsunami but refuses to believe he is dead. The character and her husband go looking for the kid in the jungle of the Thai-Myanmar border and stumble across a terrifying world ruled by savage children. It's a horror film, but the director says, "I tried to be as respectful as I can. I don't want to be unpleasant to people who have really suffered from the tsunami." [Yahoo News]
• John Mayer got really drunk and partied with a blonde cocktail waitress on the last night of his world tour. On stage, he mentioned reading The Secret and said "I had a conversation recently, and a lot of tears were exchanged." Jen Aniston, sniff, sniff. [People]
• This is just coming out now, but apparently Amy Winehouse overdosed twice last year: Once in July, from smoking hash for 36 hours; next in August from cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, ketamine and crystal meth. Now she might have brain damage or schizophrenia from the drugs. [The Sun]
• Another "Amy Winehouse may have brain damage" story. [Daily Mail]
• Headline of the day: "Could Scarlett Be The Next Spielberg?" Yes, Ms. Johansson wants to direct. [Daily Express]
• Mel Gibson has become "close to" a "glamorous Russian musician" on the set on his new movie but he says she's just a colleague and he remains happily married. [Daily Mail]
• The stage musical version of 9 To 5 features 19 new Dolly Parton songs. "She's so lovely and so humble," producer Robert Greenblatt says. "She says, 'I'm not sure I'll get you the whole way there, but I'd love to give it a try. If something doesn't work exactly, I'll rewrite it.'" [Variety]
• Colin Farrell saved this homeless guy's life by giving him cash and telling him: "You need to get your life together, man, promise me. And make sure you go see my new movie." [Toronto Sun]
• Jude Law is visiting Afghanistan to promote peace. Yeah, I dunno. [AP]
• Sign of the recession? Diddy had to give up his private jet. [The Star]
• Natalie Portman won a humanity award at the Venice Film Festival, where she made her directorial debut with a short film called Eve. [The Star]
• Duran Duran fan? Maybe you wanna read about how cocaine destroyed the band. Written by Andy Taylor! [Daily Mail]
• Sixty-two year old Cher has a 36 year old man and she hired a private jet to fly him and two of his buddies to Memphis to catch a Merle Haggard show, which is kind of awesome. [Page Six]
• Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze: Still on. [Page Six]
• Leanne Rimes, 26, has been married for seven years, and says she is ready for a baby. [People]
• "You are bugging the fuck out… No disrespect. …Alaska? I don't even know if there's any black people in Alaska. If you really think we're gonna let you win the election with these crazy decisions that you're making, you're bugging." —Diddy's thoughts about Sarah Palin in a video directed to John McCain. [Perez Hilton]
• Jerry O'Connell says pregnant wife Rebecca Romjin craves lemonade and soy cream cheese. "Can't be cream cheese. Soy cream cheese. Do you know how difficult it is to find soy cream cheese? It's usually in the corner of the supermarket someplace!" [People]
• "The easiest sex scene I have done was in Mulholland Drive because it was with another woman. There was no awkwardness. There was no sexual tension." — Naomi Watts. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "When it comes to fashion, I know about as much as Betty. I love to play dress-up and it’s fun, but I’m not interested in the fashion world. If I wasn’t an actress, I’d probably want to be a teacher." — America Ferrera. [Mirror]
• "I always knew I was never the prettiest or ugliest girl in the room. Life's too short to inject botulism into you face to get rid of a tiny line because you've laughed too much. I don't feel a need to lose weight, because I'm not 21. I'm happy with my package." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "It's very strange to be here in London without Anthony Minghella, whom I loved very much, and very painful. I was so frightened in the first week of shooting The English Patient, I was trembling, but he was trying to find a way to win my trust, and he just said to me, 'Well, fly...' and I did and it changed my life." — Juliette Binoche. [Independent]
• "Victoria and I are very different. People bracket us together because we live in the same city and we’re both interested in fashion. Victoria’s fashion line has been very successful and, hopefully mine will be too. But that’s where the similarities begin and end." —Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. Not that you knew she had a fashion line. [Daily Mail]
• "The only thing I can cook really is mince meat, which is ironic because I'm a vegetarian. But I like calzone and lasagne. I cooked every day in Spain so David and the boys lived off minced meat for four years. I cook a Sunday dinner every single Sunday I'll have you know. My kids like Yorkshire pudding so I make that, I can make it from scratch and I make Dora the Explorer cakes for afters because the kids love them." — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [Daily Mail]
• "I can't even think about having another baby right now. The boys take up so much of my time." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I don't care for [romantic comedies] where the guy is emasculated, tossed around by the woman, and lacking a point of view. It's a disservice to both the male and the female. I like to give my guys some balls" - Matthew McConaughey to Plenty magazine. [Page Six]
• "I kind of want to see how the audience responds first. I don't want to overstay my welcome." — Shannen Doherty, on whether she will stick with the new 90210. [LA Times]
• "I informed British Airways of my late arrival. I told them I was a kind of minor celebrity and I might get a bit of hassle at the airport. Turns out they are complete arseholes. Even when I fell over and badly creased my hat, I had no assistance. I was crying but I didn't want them to see. A cynic might say I missed the plane, an honest man might say I went to the airport a little late." —Pete Doherty. [Mirror]
• "I think manipulation is something that women do a lot, it's still our number one problem. You look at those characters [in The Duchess] — Georgiana and Bess — and they're hugely trying to outmanoeuvre each other, but I think it's also possible for intense love affairs to happen between women — not necessarily sexual, but things can obviously take a sexual turn. Women do get obsessed with other women — whether they love them or hate them, and I think that line is very easy to cross." — Keira Knightley [Guardian]

• For the love of God, please let Dolly Parton get her own makeup line. [Chic Report]
  
• The Pope hates expensive shit. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• "We're one of her favorite stores," says a spokeswoman for Henri Bendel of Shopaholic Isla Fisher. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• WTF? The New York Ranger's Sean Avery is interning at Vogue this summer? Maybe Anna Wintour can teach him some fashion closet cross-checking techniques. [WWD, 1st item]

• Pete Wentz on his favorite stores: "I love H&M and Urban Outfitters. I'm so not above shopping there or anything. They have such cool stuff and it's not expensive." [WWD, 5th item]
• For every one of Lauren Bush's FEED bags you buy at your local Whole Foods starting May 1, 100 kids in Rwanda can eat. Anya Hindmarch could learn a thing or two from Ms. Bush. [WWD, 2nd item]
• No, women really don't need special accessories to cover up their bulging belly buttons while pregnant. [LilSugar]
• Stephanie Seymour isn't just the new fashion editor at Interview, but the new face/body of Chantelle undergarments too. [Yahoo]
• Speaking of spokesmodel panty raids, Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown has signed on as the new face/body of Ultimo underwear. [a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/22/nmel122.xml">Telegraph]
• The latest trend for Australian boys? Wearing women's clothing. [News.com.au]
• D-list designer Anand Jon, who was charged with numerous counts of sexual abuse and rape has two new (female) defenders. [Hindu Times]

• The Gap will just not cease to exist, releasing new monthly sales figures even as no one acknowledges it anymore. How do you get an 18% decrease from March 2007 when the last known Gap shopper bought her last Macau-made $4.90 tank top in 2003? The Gap will manage to report disappointing sales long after liquidation.
  
• Here, Gap CEO Glenn Murphy, in case you missed it the first time, our memo from the clothes-wearing masses.
  
• Alexander McQueen hopes Paris Hilton sees his store and just keeps on walking because fashion is "not about celebrity" which is a total lie, and also, a blatant "neg." [Sassybella]
  
• Uniqlo has worked tirelessly to brand its basic clothes as somehow "edgy," retaining the photography services of Terry Richardson etc. etc., but who would have guessed they would have picked such an unusual celebrity spokesmodel? [Fabsugar]

• On the heels of yesterday's gloomy sales forecast, Estee Lauder hosted a decadent party to honor its celebrity spokesmodel of thirteen years. [WWD]
• Londoners used to fly to Hong Kong to get deals on clothes but now they're coming here. [Guardian]
• Scary Spice is putting out some sort of perfume. What impeccable timing! [Ad Age]
• Few people know this, but the signature Adidas "stripes" actually originated with a sort of utilitarian function, which was once a source of jealousy to Nike founder Phil Knight, but ha ha ha, probably not anymore. [IHT

The Good:

Justin Timberlake and his mom ASCAP's Loretta Munoz complement each other and look ready for spring!

Wow, that color makes Keri Hilson glow. She looks fresh, pretty and appropriate. Time to sing that song she did with Timbaland: "I like you just the way you are."

Katy Perry's little strapless dress is adorable!

Nicole Richie probably spent all night pulling this dress up, since it appears to be dangerously close to falling down. But she looks amazing. Brava!

The Bad:

Animal print again, Scary Spice Melanie Brown?!?! Think outside the bun. Look to Keri Hilson for hints. Also, those boots are hideous.

Natasha Bedingfield would like to welcome you to the Love Boat. She's sailing to waters where it is okay to accessorize like a drunk celebrity on Match Game.

Sara Bareilles also needs to look at Keri Hilson and swap those scuffed boots for some pretty sandals. Maybe she's trying to keep it real, but she's got a freakin' radio hit. She can afford some pumps.

The Ugly:
Awful hair, ugly T-shirt, terrible jeans: At least Da Brat is consistent.

Hey, Fergie Ferg, not sure exactly what is going on with the neckline and waistline of your dress, but something is off. I know this is shot at a weird angle that makes your head look big, and that's not your fault, but a dress with wide-set straps would be more flattering to your neck and shoulders.

Lionel Richie and Steve Miller honoured at L.A. awards [Reuters]

[Images via Getty.]

• Avril Lavigne is pregnant! Maybe! [News.com.au]
  
• Janet Jackson has been asking designers like Badgley Mischka for bridal gown samples! Is she going to marry that gremlin Jermaine Dupri? [Page Six]
  
• Janet poses as brother Michael from Off The Wall on the new cover of Vibe. [Concrete Loop]
  
• Oooooh, George Clooney on the cover of Time! [The.Life. Files]
  
• Is it a girl for Minnie Driver? She was seen buying girly baby clothes from J. Crew and talking about her pregnancy. [Page Six]
  
• Pink says her divorce is not about cheating, anger or fighting. She writes on her Web site: "One never knows the future, but mine and Carey's just might involve beach babies and sunshine one day. Just not right now." [People]

• Spencer Pratt is trying to get himself and Heidi Montag a reality show of their very own, awww. And when meeting with producers, Spence does all the talking; Heidi's not allowed to open her mouth. Romantic! [Page Six]
• Milo Ventimiglia on when people gossip about his relationship with Hayden Panettiere: "It makes me smile." [People]
• In Las Vegas, Victoria Gotti and anti-fur actress Marsha Thomason, aka "Naomi" from Lost, got into a loud squabble over Gotti's fur coat. It'd be a lot more interesting if they were both more famous, but whatevs. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which pop diva goes to great lengths to keep her entire body glowing? When she spray-tans, she demands her nether regions get the treatment as well." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which producer who's well known for his voracious appetite for women has a funny modus operandi? He asks actresses seeking roles to come up to his hotel suite, then excuses himself to go use the restroom and comes back wearing only a robe?" [Page Six]
• The LAPD is investigating whether Sam Lutfi drugged Britney Spears. Several witnesses have been interviewed regarding the drugs in Brit's system when she was most recently committed. [TMZ]
• A judge doesn't think Britney's conservatorship needs to be a federal case. No shit. [TMZ]
• Brit's dad Jamie doesn't want the case transferred to federal court either. [People]
• Britney's driving-without-a-license case was put on hold because her lawyers do not think she is "qualified or capable" to deal with it right now. [CNN]
• Two paparazzi were arrested while trying to photograph Britney Spears at a hair salon; two others were arrested outside a nightclub as the LAPD cracks down on photogs obstructing traffic and causing chaos. Two of the snappers were from TMZ. [USA Today]
• Amy Winehouse was reportedly "fantastic" at the Brit Awards, yay for her! [Mirror]
• Angelina Jolie took Maddox to see The Spiderwick Chronicles yesterday. Damn, he's cute. [TMZ]
• Is Jack Black's new movie plagiarized from a Nickelodeon skit? [Perez Hilton]
• Pauly Shore is countersuing his neighbor, movie director Wes Craven, for "slope failure," landslides etc. Backyard horror story, haha. [E!]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is joining the team of Access Hollywood as guest correspondent? That could be fun. [UPI]
• Meanwhile, Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell is going to Capitol Hill today as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Population Fund, a development agency that focuses on women's reproductive health. Colors of the world! [U.S. News & World Report]
• Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr on beau Orlando Bloom: "He's a sweetheart." [People]
• Vincent D'Onofrio has a new baby boy! Luca was born on Valentine's Day. [USA Today]
• The Directors Guild of America has approved a contract deal that helped pave the way for the settlement in the writers' strike. [Reuters]
• Sylvester Stallone is willing to testify in the trial of Anthony Pellicano, who's accuse of tapping the star's phone. [USA Today]
• Paula Abdul thinks her new video is so bad, she's "trying to pretend like it didn't happen." LOL! [MSNBC]
• Jessica Simpson's movie, Blonde Ambition, is No. 1 in Ukraine. First of all, Ukrainians, please don't think that she — or this film — represents all Americans. Secondly, why? Why? Third... going back to bed. [People]
• Wait! Is this Shia LaBeouf's amazingly buff body or a photo manipulation? Also: Bulge??? [ONTD]

• Fergie and actor Josh Duhamel are engaged. We hope Fergie didn't wet her pants when he proposed! [People]
  
• Good news for society, bad news for Paris Hilton: Paris' grandfather, Baron Hilton, has decided to give 97% of his $2.3 billion fortune to charity when he dies. [Reuters]
  
• Lindsay Lohan spent Christmas Eve with Adrian Grenier at his Brooklyn apartment, but they're definitely not a couple. [Page Six]
  
• Also, Lindsay's dad called paparazzi photographers to tip them off to his reunion meeting with Lindsay at the Mercer Hotel. Aw, sweet! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Also: Lindsay's ex, Riley Giles, is selling his personal photos of her to the tabs. Again: How sweet! [MSNBC]
  
• Pete Doherty gave Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil some tips on how to make the best of his prison time. Fielder has also asked Doherty to look out for Winehouse. Oh lord: Not a one of them stands a chance! [The Sun]

• Will Smith: Scientologist? [Page Six]
• Move over, Fergie: I Love New York star Tiffany "New York" Pollard is also engaged: Her future intended is show winner George "Tailor Made" Weisberger... [People]
• ...who is apparently already cheating on her. [Gatecrasher]
• Courtney Love is moving to New York. She bought a townhouse in the West Village. She says on her MySpace blog, "itllcost ...alot...to returjn it to a house biut fbc doesnt need to have all that space til she moves here at 18." [Gothamist]
• But whatever will Courtney fill all that space with after having been robbed yesterday? [Perez Hilton]
• Ah, nevermind: The stolen goods have been returned. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney had to return the kids back to K-Fed after spending Christmas with them. The exchange of progeny took place at a Starbucks, naturally. [Daily Mail]
• Johnny Depp: Too emotionally scarred to ever marry again. [MSNBC]
• Top Chef host / former model/former Mrs. Salman Rushdie Padma Lakshmi dnies that she and "financier" Teddy Forstmann are dating. [Page Six]
• Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend Justin "Mac Guy" Long: Definitely together, united against parking tickets. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli are definitely back together. [Gatecrasher]
• Also a couple: Gossip Girl co-stars Blake "Serena van der Woodsen" Lively and Penn "Dan Humphrey" Badgley. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston reportedly celebrated Christmas with real-life best Friend Courteney Cox Arquette. [Daily Mail]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown has won the custody battle for her daughter against her ex-husband, Jimmy Gulzar. Which is good, 'cause it's so much more effective when the Spice Girls sing "Mama" in their reunion tour when their very own kids are front and center. [TMZ]

• Amy Winehouse's "exhaustion" was really an overdose. The singer had her stomach pumped and is still in the hospital. Amy, we joke around but we love you! Get well! [The Sun]
  
• Britney Spears' ex-husband, Kevin Federline, wants primary custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James. Might be a good idea, Britney — more time for make-out pool parties! [Page Six]
  
• Lindsay Lohan's bodyguard spills details about her terrible, terrible parents to In Touch, like we told you yesterday. Plus Lindsay's boozing and drug using. Also, when she was 15, she was allowed to share a hotel room with her 14-year-old boyfriend Aaron Carter. The Lohans: putting the fun in dysfunctonal! [Page Six]

• Additionally, Lindsay was "surrounded by criminal activity" and exposed to alcohol and drugs at 15, says her father. [The Sun]
• Project Runway winner Jay McCarroll is not, we repeat, not homeless. You can go back to your regularly scheduled ennui. [Page Six]
• Bruce Willis' new girlfriend is a former Playboy Playmate, an actress and a motorcycle collector. Yawn. [Page Six]
• Two blind items: 1. "Which very eligible divorced man has his friends in a quandary now that he's engaged to get married again? The friends are afraid to tell him his fiancée is a gold digger who's still seeing her broke boyfriend on the side while waiting for her wedding day." 2."Which aging supermodel is ensuring her picture still gets taken, despite her bad behavior and spiraling demand, by having an affair with the head of a major photo agency? The sex is so strong, friends say, the agency owner is thinking of leaving his loyal wife of several decades." [Page Six]
• Are Paul McCartney and Heather Mills bonding for the sake of their daughter? Does anyone care? [Gatecrasher]
• Donatella Versace has decorated apartments for New York's Plaza Hotel, and pictures are in the new issue of House & Garden. We're sure the décor is understated and minimalist. Not. [Rush & Molloy, 4th item]
• Jennifer Lopez got half a million dollars out of a legal battle with her ex-husband? Can someone please explain this to us? Also, the ex is barred from ever disclosing intimate information about their relationship for personal gain. So, no tell-all book, boo! [Rush & Molloy, 6th item]
• Chris Noth, aka Mr. Big, has signed on to be in the Sex And The City movie. Let the quips and cigar smoking begin! [Rush & Molloy, 7th item]
• Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't know which presidential candidate he's going to vote for yet. [People]
• Was there a sexual assault at the Playboy Mansion? [Yahoo! News]
• So yesterday Page Six reported that Britney Spears' head was Photo-shopped onto some other girls' body for her new fragrance ad. But a rep says the only person in Britney's ad is Britney. Look at the ad and judge for yourself; we think it's inconclusive. [ET]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown was secretly married in Las Vegas last month. [TMZ]
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal had a secret hotel rendezvous! Well, not that secret, since we all know about it. But still! [US Weekly]
• Tori Spelling wants to have another baby. Has anyone ever seen her show? Where she runs the B&B? Is it any good? [People]
• Roseanne's Sara Gilbert and her partner Allison Adler have a new daughter, named Sawyer Gilbert Adler. Cool name. [People]

• More info on Ellen Barkin's lawsuit against her ex-husband, billionaire Ron Perelman. Apparently her partner in the film production company Perelman was supposed to be financing is Barkin's brother, George, a former editor of marijuana-obsessed magazine High Times. $3.4 million buys a lot of weed, yo. [PageSIx]
  
• Cosmopolitan's Style & Beauty says "guyliner" is out. "The only kind of pencil a man should wield is the writing kind." Sorry, Pete Wentz! [PageSix]
  
• The covers of Life &Style and Us Weekly were so similar this week that Us's editor-in-chief, Janice Min, is "irked." An Us spokesperson called L&S "a poor imitation." There's totally going to be a fight after school!
  
• A spy says Paula Abdul passes out while she's having her hair and makeup done. Wouldn't you? [PageSix]
  
• A studio exec says of Lindsay Lohan's career: "I think she's done." The guy who conducts interventions on addicts for the A&E series Intervention adds: "I predict it's only going to get worse." Oh, man. Well, we'll be watching. [EntertainmentWeekly]

• Sean Penn and Venezuela's rabblerouser Hugo Chavez talked on the phone and then met in Caracas yesterday. New BFFs? [PageSix]
• Louis Vuitton will no longer loan Lindsay Lohan clothes, because she took too much from her photoshoot with Elle. This is not really surprising. [ PageSix]
• Oscar-nominated actress Michelle Williams' father, who was arrested for tax evasion in Sydney in 2006, has lost his court battle to prevent US authorities extraditing him from Australia. The IRS claims he owes more than $1.5 million in taxes. We can't make a joke, because the IRS scares us. [Yahoo!News]
• When Nicole Richie goes to jail, she'll be in the same place Paris Hilton did time. That's hot! [TMZ]
• Poor Madonna! Some old love letters and explicit Polaroids might become public at the same time the head of Malawi's child welfare services spends a week with Madge and her family to assess whether they're fit to adopt baby David permanently. We have a feeling that once the child welfare dude sees the Material Girl's wealthy lifestyle, he will ask to be adopted as well. That's what we would do. [DailyMail]
• Have you seen the video where Tim McGraw's ring gets taken? [YouTube]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown and Eddie Murphy's ex-wife Nicole had lunch at Beverly Hills hotspot The Ivy. That Scary: Crazy like a fox! [People]
• Beyoncé is the new face of American Express. But that doesn't mean you can charge what ever you want and she'll pay the bill. [OK!]
• If you've dreamed of sailing the ocean with John Mayer, you now have your chance: It's called the Mayercraft Carrier, and it's a three-day cruise hosted by John Mayer. This is not a joke. [MayercraftCarrier, via OhNoTheyDidn't]
• Single? No problem! Flavor of Love 3 is now casting. [DListed]

• Eddie Murphy is on crack if he thinks a little bling is enough to convince the world that he treats his girlfriends well. Um, remember that you fathered and denied, Eddie? [People.com]
  
• Oh come on people: There are enough real bombs in this world. Don't plant fake ones. [BBC]
  
• Memo to President Bush: We already know that your reasons for attacking Iraq were bullshit. So don't feed us any of your retroactive theories now. [CNN]
  
• Memo to Tony Blair: You lost your right to pontificate on the situation in the Middle East, too. [NYT]
  
• Does this guy have a t-shirt that says, "I Served In Iraq And All I Got Was This Lousy Bionic Hand"? [CNN]

• YouTube debates? Genius. Also — who else liked Biden alluding to Kucinich's hot wife? [USA Today]
• Interesting shoes, but where does all the nasty-ass toe jam go? [Boing Boing]
• What? MySpace? Rife with sex offenders? Shocking! [MSNBC]
• 2 U.S. casualties identified. [DoD]

It was the fear of a stray nipple that sent Jessica Simpson into a tailspin at Dolly's tribute. Yeah, right. This from a woman who slept with Bam Margera. We'd have thought shame was beyond her.

George Clooney's pig dies. BLT anyone?

'Celebrities are just like us', meet 'All men are pigs'. We're sure you'll be very happy together.

Proof that SNL really isn't funny anymore. Like shooting fish in a barrel only missing a lot.