• Jude Law got someone pregnant, but not Rachel McAdams' sister Kayleen — her rep (she's a makeup artist) says "She has never even met him." [Star]
• So. The mother of Jude Law's unborn spawn is:

Samantha Burke. She's an actress/model. Naturally. [TMZ]

• A source says that Samantha Burke wants Jude's cash! She expects "a large maintenance payment and financial costs, including a percentage of Jude's future earnings, agreed in writing." [The Sun]
• According to this report, Samantha Burke is from a wealthy family. Also, she looks good in a retro swimsuit. [Daily Mail]
• "Even Seth Rogen Now Hating on Katherine Heigl." He's talking shit about how she talks shit. And dissed The Ugly Truth: "That [movie] looks like it really puts women on a pedestal in a beautiful way." Plus: "I gotta say, it's not like we're the only people she said some batshit crazy things about. That's kind of her bag now." [NY Mag, LA Times]
• Carrie Prejean is planning to sue the Miss California USA organization for slander, libel, public disclosure of private facts, religious discrimination, intentional infliction of emotional distress and negligent infliction of emotional distress. This should be a big old mess. [Perez]
• Need beach reading? Three celebs have "written" new memoirs: Slumdog Millionaire's Rubina Ali; former Playmate Kendra Wilkinson and Good Charlotte's Joel Madden. [NY Daily News]
• Haterade Headline of the Day: "Tony Romo and Nick Lachey rebound with Jessica Simpson look-a-likes while she's left smooching a dog." [NY Daily News]
• Police chiefs suspected of "snooping" at Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate's home have been arrested. [NY Post]
• Emma Watson is related to a 16th century witch! Her distant relative Joan Playle was excommunicated from the Church of England for witchcraft in 1592. [E!]
• Eminem's new track, "Warning," is an answer to Mariah Carey's song, "Obsessed." He raps: "You probably think since it's been so long if I had something on you I woulda did it by now, on the contrary, Mary Poppins, I'm mixing our studio session down and sending it to mastering to make it loud, enough dirt on you to murder you, this is what the fuck I do... Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Amy Winehouse's wedding album: Found in trash. Seems Blaaaaake threw his copy away. [The Sun]
• Nora Ephron says she hopes Julie & Julia will remind everyone that before EVOO, there was BUTTER, which has now been demonized. "I just do not get that at all," Ephron says, since Julia Child and her husband lived into their 90s. "And they drank like fish," she says. "I don't believe that anything has to do with what you eat, if you don't overeat. All these people who think they can cut down on their cholesterol by eating those awful egg-white omelets. There's something I really hate. It is simply not going to make any difference if you have a couple egg yolks in your omelet." [USA Today]
• Will Katie Holmes be in the Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo? A source says: "The character they want her to play is a really ballsy, high-powered company executive who tangles with Samantha." Sometimes you sort of forget she's an actress, for Xenu's sake. [The Sun]
• Jeepin' jeewillickers! Even though Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar named each of their 18 children a name beginning with the letter J, their first grandchild (from son Josh) will be named Mackenzie. Whether Josh and his wife will have 18 kids with M names remains to be seen. [Star]
• So much sadness: This report claims that Michael Jackson may have had collapsed veins and needle marks all over his body — plus — he may have been dead as early as 8:30 a.m. — four hours before paramedics were called. [ET]
• Warrants filed yesterday allege that Michael Jackson was an addict. It's a violation if Dr. Conrad Murray was "prescribing to an addict." [Yahoo News via AP]
• The Michael Jackson autopsy report: Delayed. [TMZ]
• How will TLC balance Jon & Kate's popularity with the family's right for privacy? Network exec Eileen O'Neill says: "It's a sensitive situation and we navigate that as we go along… It's the family's decision to be involved in the show… We want to stay with them as long as they want to stay with us." [Variety]
• What you'll see when Jon & Kate Plus 8 returns: "Jon and Kate have never said they were perfect," Eileen O'Neill says. "You're still going to see two parents that love their kids, but you'll see them parenting separately." [People]
• This columnist asserts that the return of Jon & Kate will help Kate's image. [MSNBC Scoop]
• And, because no one is sick of these people: Jon Gosselin (and Michael Lohan??) brainstormed a new show: Divorced Dads Club. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio's ex, Bar Refaeli, has a new man: multi-millionaire Teddy Sagi, who is among Israel's top 30 richest men. [NY Daily News]
• BREAKING: Katy Perry and Rihanna have become inseparable. [Page Six]
• Mario Lopez says the Saved By The Bell reunion was a long time coming: "Everybody knew the 20-year anniversary was coming up. This People story has been in the works for over a year, long before [late night host] Jimmy Fallon started talking about it. We were all excited about it." But what's next? "Everybody is fired up. People keep coming up to me saying 'When are you guys going to do a show?'" [People]
• Mark Paul Gosselaar says of Dustin "Screech" Diamond: That's a disaster on so many levels… I don't know where his head is. I know probably as much as you know from watching things on TV." Plus, Gosselaar says that when he played Zack on Fallon last month, there was a reason he looked young: "I read a blog [where] some guy said, 'Dude, lay off the Botox.' I've never had Botox before. The wig was so fucking tight, it gave me a mini face-lift." [Newsweek]
• Penelope Cruz looked amazing at the premiere of Broken Embraces, but the airline had lost her luggage. [People]
• Penny Cruz: "I love London... but I have difficulties with the rainy weather." [Telegraph]
• Lost spoilers! CHARLIE. [E!]
• Details of the sort-of Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm, at the link. [LA Times]
• Lawyers are getting involved in that Twilight recasting drama involving Rachelle Lefevre. [E!]
• Viva la revolucion? Benicio del Toro, Bill Murray, Robert Duvall and James Caan were in Cuba yesterday. [Reuters]
• Paul Giamatti calls some scenes from his new film, Cold Souls, "sort of awkward and painful." [WSJ]
• Billy Crudup will join the cast of Eat, Pray, Love the movie, which also stars Julia Roberts, Javier Bardem and Richard Jenkins. [Variety]
• "Bandslam's account of a teenager's awkward attempts to settle into a new school remind former Friends star Lisa Kudrow of her own adolescence." [Telegraph]
• "Singer Peter Andre has accepted "substantial" damages over a newspaper claim he was unfaithful to his estranged wife, model Katie Price." [BBC News]
• "I really felt this film, which had a love affair with boeuf bourguignon, should come out in winter." — Meryl Streep on Julie & Julia. [USA Today]
• "I heard what he had to say and I knew at this moment my life would never be the same. Life no longer seemed like a series of Random events. I also began to see that being Rich and Famous wasn't going to bring me lasting fulfillment and that it was not the end of the journey." — Madonna, on first hearing about Kabbalah when pregnant with Lourdes. [AP]
• "Phoebe was so spiritual and 'out there' — and I wasn't at all. Not. At. All. If anyone was it was Jennifer [Aniston]. She introduced me to certain books that gave me an insight into that world – Phoebe's supposed world – which was a more spiritual realm." — Lisa Kudrow. [Daily Express]
• "My mom and dad were big hippies and I spent time on communes. I just remember the smell of soybeans everywhere. People were making all sorts of strange things out of soybeans: food, clothing, paper, everything. I suppose if I'd gone to military school, maybe I'd be pining for something like Woodstock. But I'm certainly pining for what it represents, and I think that's what Ang was really after with the film." — Liev Schreiber, on Taking Woodstock. [Style.com]
• "I don't watch Jon & Kate, but I still want to punch that Jon douche in the face.his smarmy,fat alcoholic bloat&Ed Hardy wear piss me off" — Rose McGowan. [Twitter]
• "The Jay-Z controversy is great. We couldn't buy P.R. like this. I think Jay-Z said he saw Auto-Tune used in a Wendy's commercial, and that pushed him over the edge." — Marco Alpert, vice president of the company which markets Auto-Tune, on Jay-Z's latest single, "D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)." [NY Times]
• "Fuck you Katy Perry, you fucking stupid, maybe 'not good for the gays,' title thieving, haven't heard much else, so not quite sure if you're talented, fucking little slut." — Jill Sobule. [The Rumpus]

It is not a secret to anyone that I am slightly obsessed with Saved by the Bell. In fact, Anna asked me to write up this clip, as my love of Saved by the Bell knows no bounds and she felt I was perhaps the best person to describe the highs and lows of Zack Morris' return to the small screen.

Jimmy Fallon has spent months trying to orchestrate a Saved by the Bell reunion, and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who is currently promoting his TNT series Raising the Bar, was happy to feed into Fallon's SBTB obsession. While a full-on cast reunion didn't take place last night, Gosselaar did show up, in character, as Zack Morris, and remained that way throughout his interview. Here, Fallon tries to quiz "Zack Morris" to have him prove he's the real deal. Zack's answers were the stuff of SBTB fan dreams: he references his old Miss Bliss days in Indiana, Stacey Carosi and the Malibu Sands Beach Club, Stansbury, and he pulls the ol' Time Out on poor befuddled Jimmy. We also learn what happened between Zack and Kelly (with a nice shout out to 90210, the Attic, and that slimeball Jeff).

The interview was pretty perfect: it was clearly written by someone who really loved the show and knew what the fans were looking for — Zack even took the stage with The Roots to perform a classic Zack Attack jam, "Friends Forever."

However, as a hardcore SBTB fan, I feel the need to call shenanigans on a few things. First of all, Fallon's audience seemed to miss half the references, which might indicate that they were too young to really obsess over the show the way someone my age did. Secondly, Zack calls Jessie to ask if she'll participate in the reunion and all she can say is yes? No "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...scared!?" Also, Zack called Jessie "Jess" twice while talking to her on his giant mobile phone, which I don't think he ever called her during the show. Third: Fallon totally blows a reference later in the show when he makes a joke about Jessie and Zack kissing during a performance of "Sleeping Beauty." COME ON, JIMMY FALLON! Everyone knows it was "Snow White and the Seven Dorks."

Overall, a quality return to the small screen for the king of Bayside High. Or maybe it was terrible and I've just been convinced that Zack Morris is a blond Tom Cruise by this kickass Beau Revere tape I've been listening to all morning.

Zack Attacks Late Night, Signs On For The Reunion [Late Night With Jimmy Fallon]

I watched a LOT of television when I was younger. I grew up in a New England factory town where the factories hadn't been in business for years, so my adolescent experiences were filled with blizzards, crumbling brick buildings, and linoleum filled schools that were built in the 1950s and seemed to pride themselves on their mint-green industrial paint jobs. Glamorous, it was not.

Television high schools, however, are always glamorous, and in the early 90's, there were perhaps no fictional high schools as beloved as Saved By The Bell's Bayside High and 90210's West Beverly. The students at these schools were markedly different: at Bayside, it was pretty much the end of the world when a joint was found in the boys bathroom; at West Beverly, it was pretty much the end of the world if you didn't have a substance abuse problem of some sort. Both schools had their pluses and their minuses. But which one was better? I decided to find out by having both schools compete in the following categories: School Spirit, Social Life, Fashion, and Words of Wisdom. Let the faceoff begin!

• School Spirit: Bayside High
• Pros: The Bayside crew really loved being at Bayside. During their time at the school, the gang participated in nearly every school-sponsored event imaginable: acting in school plays, competing in school pageants, cheerleading, running track, wrestling, beating rival school Valley in an epic Prank War, playing volleyball, being homecoming queen, being prom queen, holding pep rallies, running the school radio station, winning the Academic Bowl, and saving the school from becoming an oil field. They even installed a car stereo in their principal's car and helped his wife deliver a baby in an elevator during an earthquake. And who could forget the infamous Bayside cheer? Bonus: Zack, Lisa, Screech, AND Mr. Belding all ended up at Bayside, in California, after being together at JFK Middle School in Indiana. Now that's dedication! Beat-b-beat-b-b-beat, go Bayside!
• Cons: Saved by the Bell: The College Years was a big ol' mess. One wonders if the Bayside crew was a little too attached to their old stomping grounds. It was almost as if they had no identity without those familiar red lockers in the background.
• 
  
  
  School Spirit: West Beverly
• Pros: Though the West Beverly crew wasn't as into their actual school as much as they were into the Beverly Hills scene, they did participate in many school activities, most notably David Silver's dedication to the school's radio station, Brandon Walsh's stint as student body president, and Andrea Zuckerman's work at the school paper. However, one of the most epic moments in 90210 history comes from an episode wherein Brandon Walsh leads his classmates in a protest against the school board in order to ensure that his "Oops, I was drunk at prom" classmate, Donna Martin, is allowed to graduate. "Donna Martin Graduates!" is just as (if not more so) memorable as the Bayside cheer.
• Cons: Most of the action with the West Beverly crew came from outside the school; their hallway conversations weren't nearly as memorable as their conversations at the Peach Pit.
• 
  
  
  Advantage: Bayside The West Beverly crew were active in their school, but most of their adventures and drama came from the various parties, sexy pools, and hotel rooms that they found themselves in. Also? They never wrote a school song as awesome as "Bayside is a school that's cool and you know that it's true! Know that it's true! Know that it's true! The girls are the cutest and the guys are the hippest too!" Probably because Dylan McKay would vaporize instantly if he was forced to sing something like that, but still.
  
  
  Social Life: West Beverly
• Pros:West Beverly kids moved fast, and half the fun of the show was laughing at how desperate they seemed at times to keep up. 90210 didn't mess around when it came to "big issues," and the West Beverly kids faced everything from laced drinks to stalkers to diet pill addiction to cheating parents to virginity loss to racism to sexism to classism, all while looking totally fabulous and rocking out to a Cathy Dennis soundtrack. West Beverly was the home of the rich, gorgeous, and glamorous: sex, drugs, and, uh, Color Me Badd. Bonus: The Peach Pit, a retro diner that was home to cheeseburgers, jukeboxes, and the sage advice of surly but lovable diner owner/father figure Nat.
• Cons: You couldn't trust any of your friends at West Beverly. Brandon often let Andrea down, Dylan dumped Brenda in favor of her best friend, Kelly, Brandon's girlfriend, Emily Valentine, was a textbook psycho, and Steve Sanders' car would eat your Ferrari if you left it unattended.
• 
  
  
  Social Life: Bayside High
• Pros: The Bayside crew rarely fought, and when they did, it was resolved within 20 minutes. They were an unlikely group of friends, if you think about it, and each of them brought something different to the conversation. They did everything together, and spent their time out of school hanging at the gloriously 80's diner, The Max, where they plotted various schemes, held dance contests with Casey Kasem, and put up with stupid magic tricks from the owner. They helped each other through various dramas: caffeine addiction, money problems, and heartache. And they really liked to sing and dance, for some reason.
• Cons: A little too close to their principal, Richard Belding, seemed to isolate other students in a majorly cliquey way, rarely dealt with life outside of the school/Max walls, rarely dated outside of their clique, the girls put up with Slater's sexism and Zack's various attempts to exploit them for profit, the addition of Tori in later seasons as a replacement for Jessie and Kelly.
• 
  
  
  Advantage: West Beverly The Bayside crew may have been super tight and good to one another, but they also seemed a bit sheltered and unable to develop social lives outside of the school walls. It might have been super dramatic to attend West Beverly, but it also looked like a lot of fun at times.
  
  
  Fashion: West Beverly
• Pros:West Beverly students in the early 90's were really into rockabilly hair-dos and loud, flashy prints. Dylan McKay and Brandon Walsh both rocked pompadours and sideburns, while Kelly Taylor, Donna Martin, and Brenda Walsh walked around in jean jackets, bright red lipstick, and slinky dresses. The West Beverly kids dressed as if they were 25, and were quite fond of shoulder-pad laden blazers, bodysuits, and leggings. Scarily enough, their outfits would look appropriate on your standard hipster these days.
• Cons: Everything David Silver or Steve Sanders wore, EVER.
• 
  
  
  Fashion: Bayside High
• Pros:Say what you will about Zack Morris' dad jeans or Cosby sweaters: the boy looked gorgeous anyway. Rocking preppy-chic like nobody's business, Zack Morris personified the late 80's/early 90's ideal of hotness. And has there ever been a television character with the fashion sense of Lisa Turtle? I think not. Lisa's dresses and coordinated outfits were so over the top that you couldn't help but envy them. Like Regina George, she always looked fierce. Bonus: the Bayside crew knew how to accessorize: Zack had his giant cell phone, Jessie had her collection of vests, and Screech had his very own robot. Geek Chic!
• Cons: Slater's pleated acid-wash jeans and pink tank tops, Kelly's boring and fairly school-inappropriate dresses, Screech's heavy reliance on multi-colored and obnoxiously patterned Hammer pants, Jessie's reliance on denim shirts.
• 
  
  
  Advantage: Bayside Lisa Turtle was so stylish that she held her own fashion show and was accepted into F.I.T. as a result. She even sprained her ankle once by kicking the television once she learned her favorite nail polish was being discontinued. That's pretty hardcore.
  
  
  Words of Wisdom:West Beverly
• On Attitudes: "To be a bitch or not to be a bitch, that is the question."-Brenda Walsh
• On Love: "Love just gets in the way, confuses people, makes them scattered." -Dylan McKay
• Scarily accurate: "I just keep worrying that we're gonna get all this education and there's still not going to be any jobs left for us."- Brenda Walsh
• 
  
  
  Words of Wisdom: Bayside High
• On Attitude: "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so, I'm so... scared!"- Jessica Myrtle Spano
• On Love: "Zack is so hot, he makes my teeth sweat!"- Penny Belding
• Scarily accurate: "You make light of algebra now, but when you're all grown up and your friends are making logarithm jokes at cocktail parties, you won't have a clue as to what everybody's laughing at."- Mr. Dewey

Lesson 1: Ice Pops Are Not A Sufficient Meal
D.J. Tanner desperately wanted to look good in a bathing suit for dumb ol' Kimmy Gibbler's boy/girl pool party. Sadly, she decided to obtain the perfect body by subsisting on "ice pops" and working out too hard at the gym. After passing out during a somewhat creepy family fitness excursion (who goes to the gym with their dad, real uncle, and fake uncle, at the age of 13?) , D.J. learns an important lesson: crash diets don't work. Years later she will look back on this incident as the beginning of her seething hatred for the Gibbler. The Gibbler remains oblivious to said hatred and sends D.J. a Christmas card every year with "HOLA, TANNERITO!" written in hot pink marker across the front.


Lesson 2: It Is Important To Not Leave Your Mom's Side At The Grocery Store
The entire premise of Punky Brewster is built on the horrifying incident wherein Punky's mother just ups and ditches her at a grocery store. This terrified me throughout my childhood. If I lingered too long in the cereal aisle, trying to decide between Boo Berry and Count Chocula, and my mother had wandered along to the next aisle over, I had a full out panic attack and started truly believing that I would end up an orphan living with a curmudgeonly photographer. This show is the reason why I insisted upon riding in the cart until I was about 10 years old. Thanks, Punky.


Lesson 3: For The Love Of God, Take Off That Refrigerator Door Another lesson from the crew at Punky Brewster comes to us via Cherie Johnson, who decided to hide in an abandoned refrigerator, and ended up passing out due to lack of air. She was later rescued via CPR, but not by stupid Allen, who had neglected to pay attention in CPR class. Therefore, there are three lessons here: don't hide in a refrigerator, take the doors off of your old refrigerators, and pay attention in CPR class, lest you end up looking like a total tool, Allen-style.


Lesson 4: The Nerd Next Door Just Might Have A Magic Machine That Makes Him Cool
Have a Steve Urkel in your life who won't leave you alone? Perhaps you can take inspiration from Laura Winslow, who actually fell in love with the nerd after he "transformed" into Stefan Urquelle. Because being super shallow and falling in love with someone only after they give themselves a magical makeover and lower their voice a few octaves is just a classy thing to do.


Lesson 5: Just Don't Give A F&*k
If there's one thing we can learn from Kimmy Gibbler, it is to just be the most annoying, loud, ridiculous version of ourselves we can be. Because nobody stops the Gibbler. NOBODY. And if you cross the Gibbler, you'll be labeled a "geekburger with cheese" for the rest of your life. So watch yourself!


Lesson 6: There's No Hope With Dope, Caffeine Will Mess You Up, And Driving Drunk In A Toga Is Always A Bad Idea
Over the course of the series, the kids of Saved by the Bell showed us the dangers of smoking pot, popping pills, and drunk driving. Caffeine pills derail super feminist genius basketcase Jessie Spano's geometry midterm AND her pop group, Hot Sundae; a visit to a toga party results not only in a totaled car, but a totaled lack of trust between the kids and their parents after drunk driving is revealed as the cause; and smoking pot, according to the "Johnny Dakota" episode, results in turning you into a giant Hollywood douchebag with no hopes or dreams. The episode also provides us with Lisa Turtle's best line: "You know, when I wanted to talk to you, I couldn't. And now that I can? I don't want to." OH SNAP!


Lesson 7: You can't always get what you want
That's pretty much all we ever learn from Jan Brady. Life sucks sometimes, even for kids who have their own traveling singing group. And yes, I know she is technically a 70's sitcom heroine, but I grew up watching the reruns as a child. A middle child. A sad, doomed, brace face glasses wearing middle child. I'd tell you more, but I'm late for a date with George Glass.


Lesson 8: Be Your Own Designer!
Does your brother need an awesome designer shirt? Pull a Denise Huxtable and create your own Gordon Gartrelle rip-off. So what if it's slightly ill-fitting? That's what makes it unique.


Lesson 9: If You're A True Friend, Someone Will Thank You For It
Rose, Sophia, Blanche, and Dorothy taught us several things: namely, that women don't become sad sexless beings as the age, but instead live full lives with great friends and wacky adventures. The most important lesson of the Golden Girls, however, is that a good friend means more than anything in the world. And also that St. Olaf is a slightly bizarre place.


Lesson 10: Your Family Will Stand Up For You In The Most Awesome Way Possible
With Claire Huxtable or Julia Sugarbaker on your side, even the biggest jerks will be put in their place. Here, we learn that even if you and your sister don't always get along, she will shut down a hater in your name with love and sass:

What lessons did you learn from the ladies of the 80's? Feel free to post them in the comments.

A Very Special Episode [SanFranciscoChronicle]
Earlier: 10 Cheesy TV Show Opening Credits

I don't know why I love Saved by the Bell so much. Perhaps I've been brainwashed to do so via subliminal messages on a Beau Revere tape, or more likely, I like it because it's a time capsule of my youth, an alternate 90's universe where the popular kids were decked out in Guess crewneck sweatshirts and acid washed pleated jeans, getting into wacky shenanigans with their principal's car and reminding us all that there's no hope with dope.

And though my love for Saved by the Bell knows no bounds, with each episode I watch and re-watch, there are certain truths that surface that are pretty hard to deny, especially in regards to the female characters on the show: Kelly Kapowski, cheerleader extraordinaire, Lisa Turtle, fashion/gossip queen, and Jessica Myrtle Spano, environmentalist/feminist/neurotic mess.

To say that Jessie Spano was the first "feminist" I was exposed to isn't really a lie: when I began watching the show, at age 9 or so, I certainly knew feminists, but had never met a woman who identified herself as such, at least not in the definitive manner that Jessie Spano did. She was a one-woman army, railing against "macho pigism," as she called it, crying out for equality as her best friends, Lisa and Kelly, rolled their eyes and laughed at her militant ways. But Jessie Spano's brand of feminism was confusing to me: here was this teenaged girl who was telling me to speak out against sexism, but she ends up dating...A.C. Slater, the embodiment of teenage boy sexism. He refers to her as "Mama," and though she corrects him when he refers to women as "chicks," it's done so in a manner that undermines her stance and makes her seem like a complete pushover who melts in the face of a man. (Pretty deep shit for Saved by the Bell, right? Beat-b-beat-b-b-beat, go Bayside!)

A friend of mine and I recently had a long discussion regarding "The Jessie Spano Effect," which we deemed "the unwillingness to call oneself a feminist for fear of being labeled an uptight, neurotic bitch." For every stance Jessie took, be it against being called "a chick," standing up for the environment, or taking a anti-sexism stance on not one, but two beauty pageants, she is shown to the audience to be uptight, lame, and stuck-up. She's not the pretty girl like Kelly, nor is she the cool girl like Lisa. Jessie Spano is the girl that everyone should be, but nobody wants to be.

In her quest to be someone great, she of course sabotages herself: a legendary caffeine addiction derails her from taking on both a singing career and an academic career (can't have both, ladies!) and she deals with her rejection from top schools by bingeing on junk food. Jessie Spano is never happy. She's tired, competitive, judgmental, angry, and painfully self-aware. Where her peers drift in and out of difficult situations (Kelly's poor, Lisa's intelligence is questioned), Jessie seems to carry this ridiculous burden of being trapped between speaking her mind and making her pink tank top wearing macho boyfriend happy.

Did Jessie Spano hurt feminism? (Apparently I'm not the only one who is wondering.) It's hard to say, really. Though her impact on the young girls who grew up watching her, myself included, may account for the "oh, I wouldn't call myself a feminist" bullshit that seems to be running rampant amongst women in their 20's. And the fact that Elizabeth Berkeley had to play a Vegas showgirl to distance herself from Spano speaks volumes, as well. Because god forbid anyone get typecast as a feminist! Heavens, no! Now off with those pants, lady friend!

In the end, it's hard to say if "The Jessie Spano Effect" is real or not. But even through her flaws, I suppose we can thank her for teaching us all to point out the bullshit that is "macho pigism" whenever we see it. Oh, and also to avoid taking too many caffeine pills before a geometry final. Because you'll never get into Stansbury, the Harvard of the West, if you're screaming "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so...scared!" at the admissions interview.

Jessie Spano Ruined Feminism [Feministing]

"If you just looked at it on paper, it felt like a no-brainer." After all, the Basic Instinct team of director Paul Verhoeven and writer Joe Eszterhas had just made Sharon Stone a household name. Her only concerns at the time were simple, she says. "I thought, 'Do I feel comfortable with this director? Do I feel like I will be protected in this?' Those things all felt like 'yes' prior to filming. After filming, I can't say I felt that way." Because there, of course, is when the media skewered the movie, unanimously crowning it the year's worst film.

"I think that was the part where I felt let down. I didn't feel like any of the filmmakers had my back when it came up — at all. Nobody stood up and said a word when the media was being so mean." She was all of 20 at the time. The actres says she took the Showgirls fallout on her own, promoting the film single-handedly when the other players backed out. "I didn't want to run away and hide. It was a nasty moment, but I found out what I was made of, I'll tell you that for sure."

Of course, these days Showgirls is recognized for the cinematic achievement it was and is one of MGM's Top 20-selling DVDs of all time.