The "burka Barbie" in question is one of 500 dolls, many dressed by Italian designer Eliana Lorena, currently on display at Florence's Salone dei Cinquecento and to be auctioned off for Save the Children in association with Sotheby's. The exhibition, in concert with Barbie's 50th anniversary, has Mattel's blessing.

Anna advised me not to do the show. Not only is she unimpressed by previous segments in which Jezebel was mentioned, she was pretty sure they'd "play the concerned "feminist" card" while in fact getting in more sweeping digs at the pernicious influence of Islam. Indeed, although the doll hasn't generated a ton of media attention, it's been enough to prompt both reflexive anti-Islam rhetoric (ahem, Daily Mail commenters!) and feminist outrage. NOW's Marcia Pappas has apparently released the statement,

As feminists we believe that women must be able to make their own choices and that includes choices about the clothing they wear. But the burka is more than a choice. Women are forced to wear the burka or risk being murdered. Mattel should be ashamed. Making a profit by selling a doll that is clearly wearing a symbol of violence is not acceptable and there should be a public outcry to take this doll off the market.

But there were other reasons that dressing Barbie in a burka wasn't exactly the cause I wanted to get behind, especially on Fox News. A non-Muslim dressing a non-Muslim doll in a burka trivializes it and reduces it to a costume as surely as Barbie's Mackies and bikinis and doctors' coats. Also, the burka in question is scaled strangely - not to mention lime green and vermillion. Perhaps more problematically, the doll is dressed in a burka "or" a hijab, and the two are not the same thing.

But most of all... I don't think it is really that big a deal: it's a single doll. It's not mass-produced. It's presumably not intended for any children, Muslim or otherwise, and doesn't seem to involve any more social commentary than Malibu Barbie does on Proposition 8. That said, whether the designer intended it to be or otherwise, it's obviously a loaded choice: Saudi Arabia outlawed Barbie in 2003, and as the Christian Science Monitor reminds us, "in April 2008, Iranian prosecutor Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi warned in that Barbie dolls are 'destructive culturally and a social danger,'" prompting attempts to ban them from stores, although several Barbie-substitutes have failed to catch on. (Fulla, a more naturalistic fashion doll from the United Arab Emirates, has been successful across the Middle East.) And for many, Barbie can never be de-sexualized.

In the end, I spent so much time debating and deciding that by the time I'd made my decision, the Fox segment had already aired. Too bad: I'd arrived at what I thought was an inarguable thesis: at the end of the day, all Barbies are going to end up in the same place - naked and spread-eagle on the floor.

It's Barbie In A Burkha [Daily Mail]
Burka Barbie To Raise Funds For Save The Children [Christian Science Monitor]
Boycott Burqa Barbie [PajamasMedia]
Burqa Barbie [Fox News]

• Victoria Beckham put away her Hermes bags and Louboutins and wore shredded jeans and combat boots as she joined son Brooklyn and spent 2 days with impoverished children in Kentucky.

At the link, you can see pix of Posh hanging with schoolkids. Brooklyn is one of Save The Children's youngest celebrity advocates. Posh says: "What I saw in Clay Country was the hope and promise inherent in every child. That's why we have to make sure every single child has a fair and equal start in life. Seeing Save the Children's innovative programs in action, like encouraging healthy eating, I know that we can begin to reverse the childhood poverty crisis. I'm pleased Brooklyn is learning that by helping and joining other children he can play a role in making his generation the greatest yet." [Daily Mail]

• Taylor Swift is on the cover of the new 3D issue (?!?!) of In Style, and inside she talks about meeting Taylor Lautner on the set of Valentine's Day: "He and I have gotten really close," she says. "It would be confusing on the set with two Taylors in the same scene. They were like, 'Taylor, on your mark – no, not you, the other one!' So halfway through the shoot, I said, 'How about you guys call me Swifty and call him Taylor?'" She also says: "I've never thought it was a curse to be single, and at this point in my life, I'm in the mind-set where I choose to be single — like I got to light scented candles and write in my diary and I wouldn't have time for that if I had a boyfriend right now!" [People]
• Oprah claimed that citizens of Dubai get free water, electricity and health care without paying income tax. While it's true residents are not subject to income tax, there is no support for the other claims. Whoops! [Page Six]
• The National Enquirer is reporting that David Letterman's wife asked him to move out; his rep says the story is "wrong." And it appears that reporters from the Enquirer called Dave's mom for a statement, because they are jerks. Her comment: "I don't know anything about that." [NY Daily News]
• This one is real, not a Hortense creation: "Sombre Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look distant on a rare night out as they join A-listers at art party." [Daily Mail]
• Cops in Germany have searched a home in connection with the Cindy Crawford extortion case. The apartment might belong to Edis Kayalar, the guy who allegedly tried to get Cindy and her husband to pay him not to release a photo of their daughter bound and gagged. [TMZ]
• Vivid Entertainment is trying to buy Carrie Prejean's "erotic footage." [TMZ]
• Diddy's 40th birthday party will be a "fantasy dreamland" with fashion installations, a labyrinth, performance art and light shows. Plus a "very special" musical guest. Who could it be? [Page Six]
• Holy crap, the stills from "Video Phone," Beyoncé's video with Lady Gaga, look weird and amazing. The video should be out this week. [The Life Files]
• Mariah Carey pulled out of a performance on Brit TV show Strictly Come Dancing so she could appear on competing show X Factor. [Telegraph]
• Hayden Panettiere is producing a CW show called HMS — Harvard Medical School — which basically sounds like Grey's Anatomy Junior. [ET]
• Ryan Reynolds will be part of the NYC theatrical comedy show Celebrity Autobiography: In Their Own Words, in which stars read humorous snippets from celebrity memoirs. Ryan will read from Kenny Loggins' The Unimaginable Life: Lessons Learned on the Path of Love. Also reading: Rachel Dratch, Carol Kane, Sherri Shepherd, Michael Urie, and Kristen Wiig. [NY Times]
• Courteney Cox — and husband David Arquette — are looking forward to being in Scream 4. She's not sure about the plot, but imagines that: "He's probably still deputy, and I've had a lot of kids. I don't know. I'm probably miserable, and then I'm sure a lot of murdering will happen." [AP]
• Flavor Flav entered a Doritos commercial contest "randomly and unprovoked" and his spot is "pretty damn good." [Page Six]
• Sigourney Weaver has been named in a £3.1 million lawsuit over a business deal involving Vincent Longo cosmetics, of which she is a part-owner. [Daily Express]
• Eva Longoria Parker has been named Philanthropist of the Year by The Hollywood Reporter. [THR]
• Did you know that Simon Cowell has an older sister named June Cowell? And that she was a child actress? And that she has lived in Majorca for more than 30 years? You do now. [Daily Mail}
• Shayne Lamas was busted for a DUI — she says she had only one drink. [TMZ]
• Did Farrah Fawcett have a "secret lover" in her will? [Daily Express]
• Uncle Jesse John Stamos gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. [ONTD via NBC Los Angeles]
• Run, Fez, run! Wilmer Valderrrama will join a US Marine veteran on a 100-mile trek across Louisiana. [Page Six]
• If Aretha Franklin wants you to turn the air conditioning off, turn it off! Don't release voicemails and call her a diva. Jeez. [Gatecrasher]
• Hello, random: Donna Mills of Knots Landing is not a fan of Carrie Prejean. More specifically, she thinks the beauty queen should "shut her mouth." [TMZ]
• Black people: Omitted from the Couples Retreat poster in the UK. [Mail on Sunday]
• Lou Dobbs says his departure from CNN was "amicable." [NY Times]
• Yesterday in NYC, while attempting to break up a brawl at a club in Brooklyn, cops shot and killed a bouncer who had once been a bodyguard for Jay-Z, Mariah Carey and Diddy. [NY Post]
• At the link, discover how Led Zeppelin wrote "Stairway to Heaven." [NY Post]
• "I'm not moving to America, I will sometimes go there. I have to go there to make films. We do make films in England but it's more like a hobby. They're like 'Come along, we can make a film. Oh, and can you make the sandwiches?'" — Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "I'm hoping the chemistry with Ellen will be great — and a great start to the season." — American Idol's Kara DioGuardi. [Reuters]
• "In hindsight, it was a magnificent thing for both of us in the sense that we got to see, both of us, really commit to this. A lot of marriages, it might take years and years for something to befall the relationship to see what are we made of. Are we gonna stand up when the storms come? And to see that that early on was really, it was life changing for me 'cause I knew I was with somebody that was in this. They're really, really in this. And so, I wanted to be in this, too. We both just stepped up to the plate, and she followed her heart, you know, God bless her. It was all life-changing." — Keith Urban, on going into rehab four months into his marriage to Nicole Kidman. [CBS News]
• "Having Jude Law licking my face for three days solid was a surreal experience. It was for a scene in 2007's Blueberry Nights. My character had passed out on a table and Jude had to come in and kiss some cream off the corner of my mouth. We did the take over and over again, so he kissed me about 90 times. There are worse ways to spend your day." — Norah Jones. [Daily Mail]
• "My life was kind of weird. My mother would cook, but we would get looked after by lots of maids. It felt like we lived in these big, enormous houses with lots of guests." — Carey Mulligan's father was a hotel executive, so she lived in hotels while growing up. [Reuters]
• "I can't answer it. The way I write, it's what makes me happy. Like, I can't write when people are looking over my shoulder. I am a little burned out on vampires right now. I think I need a little break. I might go spend some time with my aliens. I might do something completely different. I've got to cleanse the palate. I may come back to it. I did envision it as a longer series. But I wrapped ‘Breaking Dawn' in a way that I felt satisfied with, so if that moment didn't come, I'd be OK." — Stephenie Meyer on the possibility of a fifth Twilight book. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady." — Ashlee Simpson. [People]
• "I hate doing school scenes and office scenes; I hate doing mall scenes… if I could do exciting genre films like this and be covered in blood and vomit for the rest of my life, I would be really happy." — Megan Fox. [Showbiz Spy]
• "I own the rights to (Oscar-winning Gone with the Wind co-star) Hattie McDaniel's life story, and I can't wait to tell that story, because that woman was absolutely amazing. She had to stand up to the adversity of black and white (society) at a time when we really weren't accepted. Mr. Lee Daniels is going to direct it, of course, and I'm going to be Miss Hattie McDaniel. I really hope I can do that woman justice." — Mo'Nique. [Reuters]
• "I love to get on that stage, honey, and make you laugh until you pee on yourself… That's my baby. I will never stop stand-up. I will be 97 years old, with two teeth and maybe a bit of hair, and I will be on that stage hoping they're having as much (fun) as I'm having." — Mo'Nique. [Reuters]
• "I feel bad for kids who are just getting famous now. If Reality Bites had come out now and I had all those people Gawker-stalking me, my life would have been hell. I feel bad for the way pop culture seems to be eating itself alive. It ends up belittling everybody."— Ethan Hawke. [NY Post]
• "When I was very young, I used to see books as the thing keeping everyone from playing with me. So there'd be long stretches in the afternoons when everyone was off in their reading corners, sprawled on couches. And I would go up to them and do this little dance to try and break their concentration, which of course they never did: ‘I'm bored!' ‘Go read a book!' ‘I'm bored!' ‘Go read a book!' And of course, now I dream of having long stretches when I'll be able to read a book." — Olivia Wilde, on being the child of writers. [New York Magazine]
• "My mother was a major fashion inspiration. Though she often wore simple housecoats with penny loafers - and usually had a Pall Mall Gold in one hand and a small glass of Scotch in the other, with an empty Hellmann's mayonnaise jar full of ice water nearby to use as a chaser - she could dress up fabulous when she wanted to. In her wedding photographs she wore a perfectly tailored navy blue coat with an off-white lining that had big, hand-painted navy blue flowers. She paired it all with navy pumps and a pillbox hat with an ivory veil. My mother certainly knew how to make an impression when she wanted to, both in the way she dressed and the way she acted. I definitely inherited those strengths from her." — America's Next Top Model's Miss J, in his new book. Do click and see the lovely vintage photo of his mother. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm like, let me get through the taping of Top Model cycle 3,413… Then I'll move to phase two, but I'm thinking about a perfume for tweens." — Miss J, on what he plans to do next. [NY Daily News]

Everything I type keeps coming out "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FOR THE FUCK OF SHIT FUCK I'M MOVING TO FUCKING CANADA!"

So please enjoy your morning dose of Rage while I get myself together:

Slightly better.

Now on to the actual story. Obama had planned to give a speech to schoolchildren, encouraging them to work hard and stay in school, similar to one George H. W. Bush did in 1991. Conservatives caught wind of this and decided to create a new rage-filled campaign about socialism and indoctrination. The Politico reports:

School districts from Maryland to Texas are fielding angry complaints from parents opposed to President Barack Obama's back-to-school address Tuesday – forcing districts to find ways to shield students from the speech as conservative opposition to Obama spills into the nation's classrooms.

The White House says Obama's address is a sort of pep talk for the nation's schoolchildren. But conservative commentators have criticized Obama for trying to "indoctrinate" students to his liberal beliefs, and some parents call it an improper mix of politics and education.

Now, the speech is optional for schools. The speech will be broadcast during school hours and made available online to students who want to watch it. And I can understand the objection to having political figures in schools. But, as usual, an actual conservative response and the bullshit being peddled are completely different.

As an example, take fucknut Jim Greer, the Florida GOP Chairman, who compared Obama to the Pied Fucking Piper and referred to the speech as "liberal propaganda." Two minutes in to a segment on Hardball last night, Greer tried to explain his willful misinterpretation:

• Madonna is in Malawi, asking the court for approval to adopt a second child. [Times of London]
• Madonna's adoption ruling has been delayed until Friday; the court has not revealed why.

The child in question is four years old and named Mercy; her unmarried mother died soon after she was born. Madonna brought both Lourdes and David to Malawi with her and David visited with his biological father. "I was very happy to see him," the father told The Associated Press, adding that David did not recognize him. "He asked me who I was." [Yahoo via AP, Guardian]

• Madonna has purchased land in Malawi so she can build a school for girls. Some residents are afraid they will lose their homes and fields. [People]
• Save The Children is not happy about Madonna trying to adopt and a spokesperson says: "What Madonna is doing verges on a puppy parade. People like her are looking for the most beautiful child. They wouldn't choose a child with a disability or special needs. It doesn't help to take one child out of an orphanage to a huge palace and buy them a pony." [Mirror]
• Is a Russian model/pop star named Irson Kudikova about to get engaged to Mickey Rourke? [Page Six]
• Britney Spears had passed President Obama in Twitter Followers, taking the #2 spot (CNN Breaking News is number 1). She tweeted: "#2 People!!! You guys continue to make me SOOO happy! I truly have the best fans on the planet! CAN'T WAIT for TEXAS tomorrow… - Bri." Then Ashton Kutcher stole the #2 spot. [PopDirt]
• This report claims that Britney's Gulfstream jet is a mess: "The plane is stocked with Twinkies, beef jerky and M&Ms," says a source. "When she's done, she just throws the wrappers on the floor." Plus, there are two puppies adding to the chaos, who "scoot" around like crazy. [Star]
• Breaking: Victoria Beckham seen in flip-flops! [JustJared]
• Michael Jackson's son, Prince Michael I, might join MJ on stage at the first of his London shows. That would certainly be… interesting. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Apparently Zac Efron's ears are dirty, because he was recently pelted with Q-Tips by a paparazzo. There's video, but chances are it will just make you sad. [ONTD]
• More Zac Efron ear wax news. What a world we live in. [TMZ]
• Rihanna went dancing and a spywitness says "It was like the queen of England was out clubbing. You couldn't even get anywhere near her, between the bodyguards and the people wanting to touch her. And it was so morbid, too — it's all because she was beaten." [E!]
• By the by, there is nothing going on between Rihanna and Frankie Delgado. But you knew that. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus cried upon winning Favorite Female Singer at the Kids' Choice Awards. "I really thought I was going to lose, so thank you, guys." [E!]
• Some are saying the crying was staged because Miley already knew she would be winning the award. She Tweets: "For all the haters saying I knew about my KCA before hand have nooo idea what they are talking about! I was so suprised! :) thank u again xo" [PopDirt]
• Neither Chris Brown nor Rihanna attended the Kids' Choice Awards. Rapper Soulja Boy was sad! "I was looking forward to seeing them here," he said. [Yahoo News via AP]
• A woman harassed Ricky Martin at a club in South Beach, where he and "several male friends" were trying to have a good time. [Gatecrasher]
• John Mayer works the short-shorts on his cruise, the "Mayercraft Carrier." [The Superficial]
• Mariah Carey was seen drinking glasses of red wine with a straw. Classy! [Gatecrasher]
• Lipstick Jungle is canceled. For real this time. [EW]
• Paris Hilton attended Perez Hilton's birthday Party in a convergence of things that seem so three years ago. [PopDirt]
• Fox is developing a dating show with "average-looking" people. By that, they mean overweight. It's called More To Love and the bachelor is a "Kevin James type." [Yahoo via Reuters]
• Fox News' Bill O'Reilly boycotts Sean Penn films. Think Sean Penn cares? [Yahoo via Reuters]
• Joely Richardson has returned to work, ten days after her sister Natasha died. [The Sun]
• Ugly Betty star Ana Ortiz is pregnant and expecting a baby girl at the end of July. She says: "I've had a great experience so far. Talk to me in another month." [People]
• Amy Winehouse is a thumbsucker. [People]
• Yes, the ShamWow guy punched a prostitute. Police say "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons." [The Smoking Gun, Hollywood Rag]
• Monsters vs. Aliens scared up $58.2 million at the box office; big numbers. [USA Today]
• But one of the reasons Monsters vs. Aliens made so much? 3-D tickets cost more. [NY Times]
• Rhys Ifans has been cast in the next Harry Potter flick; he'll play Xenophilius Lovegood. [Daily Express]
• RIP composer Maurice Jarre, who wrote the music for Doctor Zhivago and Lawrence Of Arabia. [Independent]
• Blind item! "Which top actor got caught with his pants down in a club's closet with two very unattractive women, which his friends all proceeded to laugh at?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was assuming that [my character's days were numbered] at one point and I got a lot of shrugged shoulders and shakes of the head, so I don't know if that's a yes or a no. No one will tell me and I don't know how this is going to go. I don't know if I live or die. I don't know how Izzie fares." — Katherine Heigl. [E!]
• "In the film we made penises, and I'm walking around them — we have made them more or less the same dimensions, but there are bug penises, giraffe penises, goat penises. They are like a forest of penises. … I was already playing a starfish, or a bug. I thought that stretch was much bigger, to be a sea creature than to play a male! But the real reason is sometimes [males] move more. For example, the female spider sits on the web, and she is three to five times bigger than the male, so he has to approach her. I was reluctant to do mammals, because they look so similar to us. But what's interesting about the whale is the female puts her vagina on the surface of the water, out of the reach of the male. Then she can see the males fight and she can select which one she likes, and then she turns over and lets him get to her. I thought, I can do that!" — Isabella Rossellini, on playing the parts of animals, in her web series Green Porno. [NY Post]
• "I'm looking forward to knowing what's going on - I still have no clue. The only thing I ever got right was the island moving, which was pretty good. But that's it. I don't know what the story is or where we will end up." — Josh Holloway, aka Sawyer, of Lost. He also says when the show ends he will get a haircut: "One of our camera operators had a beautiful Mohawk. I've always wanted one." [The Sun]
• "Rule one – you don't play on the snooker table unless you've been asked. And, secondly, you never, ever, take the shepherd's pie unless Keith Richards' broken the crust first." — Mick Jagger, on touring with the Rolling Stones. [The Sun]
• "My first bra was not very exciting. I was a late bloomer-the last of my girlfriends to get one. It was this horrible training bra-type thing, but it prompted me to save my money and buy my own darn bra. My mom was like, ‘You can't have the black lace one.' And I was like, ‘Why not?' I've never equated beautiful lingerie with seduction or sex. It's not about trying to get a man. Not at all. It's about surrounding myself with beauty in my everyday life-whether it's a bra or a notebook. I want everything around me to be attractive because I look at it every day." — Dita Von Teese. [JustJared]
• "The biggest misconception about me is that I am not a real person. The assumption is that my eccentricity is not who I really am, but it is. I have lost my mind." — Lady GaGa. [NY Mag]

According to the BBC, 10 UN "peacekeepers" gang-raped Elizabeth in a field. "They grabbed me and threw me to the ground and they forced themselves on me... I tried to escape but there were 10 of them and I could do nothing…I was terrified. Then they just left me there bleeding." When village elders tried to report the abuse, they were ignored.

Save the Children suggests that a global watchdog organization be formed to monitor these kinds of abuses, supplemented by local complaints mechanisms and public awareness campaigns. In the meantime, the UN says it has a zero tolerance policy when allegations of sexual abuse are at hand, and last year 100 Sri Lankan soldiers stationed in Haiti were sent home when it became evident that they were paying for sex.

Charity: Aid Workers Raping, Abusing Children [CNN]
Sexual Abuse Of Children By Aid Workers Too Often Unreported [Save the Children]
Peacekeepers 'Abusing Children' [BBC]

Earlier: If You Can't Afford Rice In Haiti, You Eat Dirt

If there's anything more important to the family Hasselbeck than football, it is Jesus. Betsy, with a retired husband and the children off playing pro-ball, has devoted herself to running "workshops for current Pats players and their wives. The workshops focus on faith, marriage, and family" since Hasselbeck fears that without her instruction, these men and their wives might turn towards the Devil's ways: "We live in an upgrade world where temptation and fame can threaten any marriage. What we're trying to do is teach [couples] how to strengthen their marriages and commitment to God."

Betsey's faith has also propelled her towards her other project: Doing whatever she can to stop perverts from coaching youth sports. "I was lucky, because Don was our boys' coach for nine years. But I thought, OK, if I've been placed here for a reason, it's to help people. This is one way I can give something back," says Betsy, despite the fact that "breakout figures are not available for young athletes, [and only] anecdotal evidence suggests [that children] are especially vulnerable to predator coaches." Good to know that if you are placed on this earth to do some good, it's for a cause that you've pulled out of your ass!

But before you start make assumptions at Betsy Hasselbeck, be sure to know this: "We've never cared about labels," she says, in regards to identifying the specifics of their Christianity. Good to know! It's always refreshing to meet a prostelytizer who can understand that expressions of faith need no names! Elisabeth Hasselbeck sure lucked out marrying into this family — the woman couldn't have asked for a better teacher on preaching her overly-simplified ways of thinking.

Extra Points [Boston Globe]

"She is really creative and she knows how to handle fashion," Melvin says. Does any kid know who Kimora Lee Simmons is on their own? And if you expose your child to Kimora, shouldn't you prepare to deal with the repercussions? Forget about "stop dressing your six-year-old like a skank." Shouldn't you stop letting your six-year old worship a drag queen-esque woman who invented the word "fabulosity"?

Are Young Girls Dressing Too Revealingly? [ABC News]
Ealier: Dames Down Under Don't Like Underage Glamour Girls
Britney Spears & Jon-Benet Weren't Born In Inappropriate Outfits, You Know
Young Girls Today: Tramps In Training?
'Tramps-In-Training' Author Speaks, Dodges Tween Bullets

It got worse as the girl costumes got older, as if every year in a girl's life means another inch of skirt above the knee. And it had me wondering. "Would anyone ever sell a Chippendale outfit for young boys? Would a parent ever buy one?"