Satire - Jezebel

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Chloe's Cushion, Or The Cork Rump
"A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
Grace Relations
"If You're Old Enough To Vote, You're Old Enough Not To Vote"

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bleedingmouths
09/24/09

In reply to Chloe's Cushion, Or The Cork Rump
I just finished the biography of the 18thC Duchess of Devonshire who basically invented these kind of hairpieces. I absolutely adored this book and can't recommend it enough, written by Antonia Fraser.

Interesting to remember that although her hairpieces and designs did get quite silly from time to time, satirists especially loved to take the piss out of her and the other women of the 'ton' when they got involved with politics. The most biting cartoons of the Duchess came about when she started campaigning for the Whigs and the opposition decided mysogyny was the way to counteract her. I think with clothes they were having fun, standing out, but I think a lot of criticism of them is worth taking into context.
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LaComtesse
09/24/09

In reply to Chloe's Cushion, Or The Cork Rump
YOU GUYS! My dream of having enormous wigs come back into fashion is HAPPENING! All the signs are pointing to this!
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CaptainTaxidermy
09/23/09

In reply to Chloe's Cushion, Or The Cork Rump
I once made an insane wig like that for french class in 6th grade. I wrapped a rapunzel wig around a sombrero and made one of my barbies into a mini marie antoinette to perch atop the golden locks and then put tons of flowers all over it.
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
09/23/09

In reply to Chloe's Cushion, Or The Cork Rump
Fantastique!
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Lizard in the Wires now with even MORE metal in the face!
09/23/09

In reply to Chloe's Cushion, Or The Cork Rump
I'm nearly positive Lady Gaga views this as a challenge. The 18th-century isn't gonna know what hit it.
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boxspelunker promoted this comment Edited by Lizard in the Wires now with even MORE metal in the face! at 09/23/09 7:34 PM

LaComtesse
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
I am so so pleased to be a Bowers right now...
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
Personally, I'm almost offended they didn't mention King Ahab's wife who went around killing a bunch of prophets. She's pretty well known on this site. (1 Kings 16-19)
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Plate2.18
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
This is kind of patronizing. It's not like Christians aren't aware of this. All of those examples were frequent topics of conversation in my bible studies (with very conservative people, too). And a lot of those examples were not portrayed positively in the Bible; it was either just the way things had to work or a serious weakness on the part of the man.

I don't know why I don't think this is funny; I often use very similar arguments when talking about gay marriage. I guess it just seems like if you're going to make a point with the Bible you should know the Bible well. I wouldn't take random bits of the Qur'an or the Book of Mormon and use them to criticize Muslims or Mormons because I just don't know it as well as they do.

I don't know. Maybe that's not really the problem. It just rubbed me the wrong way somehow.

I guess I'm just being too sensitive. After all, I do agree with her.
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Kilotwat
06/03/09

@Kate2.18: I dispute the notions that the majority of Christians are aware of this. I dispute that notion vigorously and muchly. I also dispute the notion that Solomon and Abraham are somehow negative examples. Until Jesus came along, those were the plum roles in the book!
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/03/09

@Kate2.18: I found it funny, but yeah, it's not like these things are unknown to most Christians or held up as paragons of human behavior (perhaps Paul telling people to not get married would be the exception).

Plus she forgot A MAJOR ONE -- What about Lot's daughters getting him drunk so they could get knocked up! By their dad! (Genesis 19:30-36)
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/03/09

@PreposterousHypothesis: Oh, well I guess they didn't get MARRIED to him, but still. Extramarital sex with your dad...IN THE BIBLE Y'ALL.
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
I'm out of Bible verses to site. She did it beautifully.

See, there IS a Biblical foundation for polygamy!
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Kilotwat
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
This is how I always imagined Betty Bowers would be like! I don't see how even Jesus can top this bringing-to-life-of-an-imaginary-friend....
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missbitchy
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
Am I the only one who read the Bible as a kid, and thought "Even if this is true it's messed up. I want no part of this".
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HistoricUpstart
06/03/09

@missbitchy: Nope! The Bible (and all of the big three religious texts for that matter) is a prefect manifestation of how ridiculous and fucked up religion truly is, IMHO.
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TheEternalOptimist
06/03/09

@missbitchy: No, you're not. Drove my parents and teacher's nuts because I went to a Christian school, and you know they force this down kid's throats. Until my parent's died, they both said to me on a regular basis, "Don't argue with the Lord!! Just accept it cause it's the Bible." Just not enough for me. Sorry.
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Mafalda para Presidente
06/03/09

@missbitchy: Definitely not the only one. I've often thought that if that is what God really thinks (and really, who the hell knows, but if it were), then I don't want any part in it.
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Sanfo
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
Deven Green! She does the Brenda Dickson parodies. She's lovely.
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EhhKinda
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
i would like to take this moment to let all y'all know the gov. of NH just signed the same-sex marriage bill. NH gays can officially get married. tell all your friends.
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Kilotwat
06/03/09

@EhhKinda: But the law is filled with all kinds of protections for religious institutions. Allowing them to discriminate against gay couples with impunity. 'Cause ya know, it's the churches that need to be protected from gays...
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TheFormerJuneBronson
06/03/09

@EhhKinda: I'm just thrilled about this. Live free or die!

<---bred New Hampshirite
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Porcelina
06/03/09

@Kilotwat: I actually agree with that. Religious institutions have the right to discriminate against whomever they want. The government has no right to say that a religious institution has to recognize a gay couple. Or a straight one for that matter.

If I am wrong about something, or am misinformed, let me know!
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Kilotwat
06/03/09

Rhode Island is now the only New England state without gay marraige on the books. Granted, it is the tiny pimple of New England, but it's still a blemish.
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NewsBunny
06/03/09

@TheFormerJuneBronson: In Massachusetts, we called it:

New Hampster

Or

The place to buy booze on Sundays

Or

The place to get cheap smokes
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serreca
06/03/09

@Porcelina: I agree with you. I could not have married my husband in the Catholic church, because I am not Catholic.

There will be plenty of places where gay couples can get married. The minister that we found to marry us also does "commitment ceremonies" (she is based in N.C. - no gay marriage yet).
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Kilotwat
06/03/09

@Porcelina: But this "protection" applies to religious charities that receive government funding. And of course, all churches receive funding from all citizens in their exemption from taxes and many regulations. The government should not be enabling discrimination.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
06/03/09

@NewsBunny: Yes, it has many charms.
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casi nadie (loves MCC forever)
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
None of my uber christian friends believed me when I told them about these things (back when I was a preacher's daughter). So I pulled out a bible (had one as an ebook on my palm pilot) and showed them the verses.

They stopped trying to argue that their ideas were biblically based after that. Now they just allude to vague, moral shit. Or quote The Purpose-Driven Life. Or Rush Limbaugh.
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vamusical
06/03/09

@o português é muito sexy de Curly Crown: I'd be more proud but you just stated that you made your friends turn from the Bible to Rush Limbaugh. So now I don't know what to think.
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casi nadie (loves MCC forever)
06/03/09

@vamusical: Well, they listened to him anyway. They just stopped trying to fight me with the Bible and knew that Rush Limbaugh makes me so angry that I won't even deign to fight it.
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Flackette Goes Retro
06/03/09

In reply to "A Bible Based Marriage Is Between One Man And His Sister... And The Help!"
Brilliant!
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