sassy - Jezebel

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Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
Indigo Magazine Reaches Out To "Real Girls"

Former Sassy Scribe Margie Ingall Loves Dudes With "A Butt Rug"
The Defendant Will Plead Not Guilty To Negligent Homicide Of 'Jane'

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roodles
04/02/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
Miley, in the words of Joel McHale, it's still a FELONY.
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Crabby Cakes
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
I am seriously shocked that it's been 15 years since Kurt's death. I mean, I know it logically, but I can't wrap my mind around it. I'm gonna go listen to Drain You on repeat, just like I did 15 years ago.
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jentropic
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
Oh, I miss you Christina. I remember this interview because Kurt said that Courtney's zits were like beauty marks. I would be a much different woman had it not been for Sassy magazine.

But, of course I'm glad I have Jezebel now for my grownup years.
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meritxell: an erotic life
04/01/09

@jentropic: I wonder what Kurt would think of Courtney now.
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sarcasticusername
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
ugh the faux ipod outrage is so silly, it was a secondary gift for crying out loud; they gave her a lovely autographed copy of a rare rodgers and hammerstein songbook as a primary gift(that's nothing to sniff at). i'll take the personalized ipod and rare songbook over a photo of the queen any day.

oh and somebody please please make all the disney tween starlets go away already! i can't take it anymore.
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Laulau
04/01/09

@sarcasticusername: The recent gift craziness has really surprised me - I don't remember any such obsession occurring during the Bush years, and it's not like we have fewer real problems to worry about right now!!
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CordeliaShirley
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
Methinks Britney doesn't quite understand "prison."

There are no bikinis there.
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Bunsen Honeydew
04/01/09

@CordeliaShirley: And if there are.... your cellmate will probably shank you in the kidney for it.
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par3
04/02/09

@CordeliaShirley: *automatically plays lez porn jail-scenes in head*
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MockMyWorld
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
This desire of Taylor Swift's that all songs be traceable to real people seems bizarrely literal-minded in someone who is herself a songwriter. Doesn't she know that writers, by definition, have the ability to make shit up and that, indeed, it behooves them NOT to tie themselves too tightly to real life? Anything else is like stalking in musical form. And yes, cynically enough, some of them do it JUST TO GET ON THE RADIO. The horror.

If she wrote "Love Story," I partly forgive her - that song is GOOD. Still, date (or even befriend) this chick at your own risk.
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Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
I read Hugh Jackman may be coming to your town! and almost passed out with joy. Then I stopped to consider the fact that the odds of my town (population 12,000) in Lower Crapovia making the list was like -1,278,345,940 to one. What a buzzkill.
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Jack_Burton
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
Jeez, Mrs. Phelps, make me feel like crap, why don'tcha?

Drunks can swim too, ya know.
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kelsium
04/01/09

@Jack_Burton: The people who were drunkest were the ones that survived the Titanic after they went in the water. They stayed warmer. So there you have it.
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par3
04/02/09

@kelsium: what about those who chonged? that oughta help his case.
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Stabby McStabberson
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
am i the only one picturing queen liz reenacting the jets vs. the sharks dance from west side story whist listening to her swanky new ipod filled with showtunes?
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kelsium
04/01/09

@Stabby McStabberson is stabby: I hope so, as that is how I spend most Saturday nights and I'd like to think that I have something in common with her royal highness.
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SomeAuthorGirl
04/01/09

@Stabby McStabberson is stabby: I saw the playlist on the news and I want more than anything in the world for her and Prince Phillip to be sharing earbuds and listening on the flight home.
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kelsium
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
While Taylor Swift gives me good reason to pop my eardrums with a toothpick, I also like to imagine that love songs were written about someone in particular. Which is one reason I do not listen to pop radio. Taylor Swift is another.
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Santos L Halper
04/01/09

@kelsium: I will join you with my oozing and painful ears. Alas, we will never be able to explore the deep sea, due to pressure concerns; but we will never have to listen to trite bubblegum music again.
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Artemis47
04/01/09

@Santos L Halper: I am Artemis47 and I am addicted to trite bubblegum pop music. /hides in shame

No seriously, I CAN'T HELP IT. I even like "Love Story" o.O
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la.donna.pietra
04/01/09

@Artemis47: Love Story is my secret vice. But only because of the video.
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Green Goth Brit Chick - AlternatEve
04/02/09

@Artemis47: I'm Green Goth Brit Chick and I blame my friends I was staying with inthe US for my secret addiction to "Love Story".

It does nothing for the goth credentials >.<
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rocknrollunicorn
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
Ok, like anyone else, I am troubled by Nadya Suleman. But people need to back the fuck down. A number of her children are old enough to be terrified as violence toward their mother escalates.
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KiddyKat
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
1. The Obama iPod thing: people need to chill out (srsly, I had to look at the Guardian page and I almost popped a vein in my forehead).

2. I have no idea who Taylor Swift is and it's making me feel old.

3. In my own mother's words "Older boys who date little girls only want one thing."
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KiddyKat
04/01/09

@KiddyKat: The Telegraph. I meant the Telegraph. Total brain fart.
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Evie Havok
04/01/09

@KiddyKat:

1. The Queen is lame for giving them an autographed picture to them of herself and whats-his-name.

2. Taylor Swift is a country singer.

3. I'm safely betting that they've already had sex. I mean, just look at the smugness coming off of them. Jeeze. They don't hide it well.
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remedios
04/01/09

@KiddyKat:

3. A way into Chuck E Cheese?
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Nighthawk (the former Okori Wadsworth) is headed back to DGUSA in November!
04/01/09

@remedios: I date girls my own age to get in there.
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R-Star
04/01/09

@KiddyKat: I also read some of those comments with my jaw dropped somewhere to the vicinity of my bellybutton. I was tempted to make a comment that I would rather everyone else not apologise on behalf of ALL Americans, since I'm an American living in England who voted for Obama and don't regret it one bit, and I would rather they not assume that their racist, antiquated ideas were widely held. But then I saw there were 23 pages of comments and figured it would just be lost in the madness. Seriously, though, they are just gifts! Don't we have bigger fish to fry right now?
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apocalypse-nowish
04/01/09

@R-Star: Someone explain to me what the big deal is? I was always under the impression that most people in England don't really respect or care for her that much, so why all the fuss?
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R-Star
04/01/09

@apocalypse-nowish: To be honest, on the Telegraph website most of the fuss was coming from Americans directed there through a link on the Drudge Report. They were all apologising for the lack of 'class' demonstrated by the Obamas. Most people I know over here aren't particularly bothered by the royals, but they aren't particularly interested in them either. They are just a bit of entertainment at this point. From what I've seen, the gift of the iPod has been much more widely reported by American news sources. The media over here have been busy reporting newsworthy events like, you know, the violent protests in London today.
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nwporn
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
For some reason, I wish the Heidi Montag would just say, "Fuck it. I'm going to college."
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kelsium
04/01/09

@nwporn: The only reason Heidi would go to college is for her MRS degree, and she's got that covered.
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Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
04/01/09

@nwporn: Clown College! Actually, the idea of Heidi in a clown suit is making me really happy.
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tscheese
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
Miley, I know you're just a teen who looks good in a blonde wig and a massive multimedia/PR campaign wrought by an entertainment giant, but "best thing to happen to you in a long time"? MILEY, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ALIVE A LONG TIME. What time have you had to cultivate meaningful relationships, that you have such a fantastic basis of comparison here?

I want to sit her down, wipe off all that makeup, and tell her to behave. THIS IS HOW OLD I AM.
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Santos L Halper
04/01/09

@tscheese: Miley Cyrus makes me feel like an octogenarian. I feel that I'm starting to smell funny, OLD PERSON funny. SPEAK UP, I CAN'T HEAR YOU. WHERE'S MY EAR HORN? TURN UP THE VICTROLA.
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kelsium
04/01/09

@tscheese: I don't care about Miss Cyrus, but this is how I feel about Taylor Momsen. I just want to be like "Young lady, who let you out of the house like that? Wash your face this instant while I make you some cocoa."
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CloudsInMyCoffee
04/01/09

@tscheese: I turn into a prudish old lady when I see teenagers (or as Liz Lemon would say, Youths!). I always look at girls in mini-skirts and say things like, "My parents would never have let me out in something like that!" Also in my repertoire:

"Why does an 8 yr old need a cell phone?!" and

"Pull up your pants, young man! No one needs to see your underwear!"
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Crackers In Bed
04/01/09

@CloudsInMyCoffee: seriously! when is the low-rider pants thing going to end!!! i mean, the rest of the fashion world has gone through HUNDREDS of fads, yet the droopy pants WILL. NOT. DIE.
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CloudsInMyCoffee
04/01/09

@Crackers In Bed [aka SF via AL]: I know! I mean, I'm not all gung-ho for tight hipster pants on boys; I like 'em a little loose. But if you're having trouble walking because your pants are too low, PULL THEM UP!
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TheGarlicSong [HELP, I'M A ROCK!]
04/01/09

@tscheese: Kids my age decided that they have to pretend to have gone through life's lessons because it makes them "deep" and "edgy" to "know so much at such a young age". People used to feed me shit about being mature, then I turned 14 and realized how stupid it was, and got back to watching Beavis and Butt-Head.

The being-25-when-you're-15 thing annoys me like nothing else.
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CloudsInMyCoffee
04/01/09

@TheGarlicSong needs more Meat Puppets: Ah, memories of Beavis and Butthead. I was WAY too excited when that movie came out.
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fahrenheit_420
04/01/09

@CloudsInMyCoffee: And iPod nanos. For real, what reason do they have to need a cell phone? Some cases are different like my brother had a friend who didn't have a land line in his house and was home alone a lot, so he needed one, but he has a different friend who said he can't live without his. At like, ten eleven, twelve?! I didn't get a phone till I was fourteen, and that's just 'cause my mom got a new, better phone, and I got her old, beaten up one to share with my sister.

The low pants thing drives me insane, too, it's disgusting.
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jeepgirl
04/01/09

@tscheese: So true! Oh Miley, you just don't know what you don't know.

I have shirts that are older than you, you whippersnapper.
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Laulau
04/01/09

@tscheese: I never watch the View, but it was on the morning at the gym, and one of the ladies (couldn't tell who, only had closed captioning) said Paula Abdul made her feel like a primary school teacher because wanted to tell her to STAY IN HER SEAT. Oh, freaking hilarity, I almost fell off the damn elliptical.
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CloudsInMyCoffee
04/01/09

@fahrenheit_420: I was never much of a phone person (still don't like 'em), so I never understand who these kids have to talk to all the time. I mean, what 8 or 9 year old has people they need to talk to RIGHT NOW!

If I ever have children, I'm going to be more strict than I ever thought I would be...
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NellMood
04/01/09

@fahrenheit_420: I was 20 when I got a phone--I must be older than you. I knew of only one person in my high school who had a cell phone. Today I spent some time with a 6 year old who told me about all the kids on her bus who have phones. This makes me feel ancient.
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pax
04/01/09

@fahrenheit_420: I teach middle school and, really, most of the PARENTS insist that their children need the phone. I want to argue with this, but really, are there pay phones anymore? Not here (NYC) very much. Kids as young as 12 ride the public buses alone and I admit that if it were my kid, I'd want them to have a phone coming to and from school, just in case.

I also don't really get worked up about it because my students are very responsible about not using the phones in school--they don't text in class or anything, and all year I've only had two phones ring accidentally.
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Fatwetdog
04/01/09

In reply to Britney's In Prison; Chelsea Clinton Is Engaged
I think someone somewhere invented a machine to scientifically determine and then generate things that I will hate the most. I can think of no other even remotely plausible explanation for Taylor Swift.
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Crackers In Bed
04/01/09

@Fatwetdog: why do you hate her so much? I'm truly curious...

while I find her precocious and a little pretentious, i think it's wonderful that she writes her own songs and seems very aware of the b.s. that comes with her industry.
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Tippi Hedren
04/01/09

@Crackers In Bed [aka SF via AL]: It's weird, because I have this really strong, yet unfounded, hatred of her. I have no idea where it comes from!
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TheGarlicSong [HELP, I'M A ROCK!]
04/01/09

@Pilar Ternera: I have that same issue with Taylor Momsen. I dunno if it really matters to fix that problem or not.
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Tippi Hedren
04/01/09

@TheGarlicSong needs more Meat Puppets: I don't know who Taylor Momsen is, but if you're comparing the two, I probably wouldn't like her either. Kids these days!
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TheGarlicSong [HELP, I'M A ROCK!]
04/01/09

@Pilar Ternera: She was in a Snap Judgment today, she had a seizure inducing pink skirt on. But anyway, she's just this girl on Gossip Girl who decided she's "egdy" and apparently is releasing a rock album soon. I dunno why she bothers me, but she comes off so pompous.
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Tippi Hedren
04/01/09

@TheGarlicSong needs more Meat Puppets: ohhh.... is she the one that was dressed like Joan Jett last week?
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Hooplehead
04/01/09

@Fatwetdog: Yes. Can all of these dopey, no-talent American Idol graduates load up onto a rocket ship to be shot into the far reaches of space? And all of these pointless, shiny Disney moppets as well. And can they all get off my lawn now?
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