Jezebel 
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New York, 12:37 AM
Thu Dec 3
63 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/27/09
Sasha Grey bores me but I do think she is smart and has that special something that people want to see in porn. She deserves the fame she is receiving. With that fame comes a lot of influence and I do think she is coached. In fact I'm sure of it and I give her credit for taking advice. She did a big movie, of course she had a bunch of older wiser people telling her how to answer difficult questions.
I hear this time and time again and from the horses mouth I want to emphasize that porn is a fantasy. We go to a set, get tons of unnecessary makeup, withstand long waits, sweat under hot lights, deal with annoying photographers and sometimes costars, to perform something that we may or may not enjoy.
Its a job. My costars have not expressed to me wanting to be violent off camera. Most just like to fuck. They want to please the woman as much as they want to be pleased. I would say about 1% of my fans have violent fantasies that they want to realize. I never encourage them.
Bravo for all you toting BDSM. I play a Dom on video sometimes and while it's not my thing off-camera, my fans love it. I tend to giggle when in a corset holding a whip.
Porn gets such a bad rap because the violence is perpetuated in the media. I say get over it. It's not all about violence. And while I do agree that porn is made for men, women also enjoy it. If that's what gets your partner off and its ok with you why not try to enjoy it too.
Do I think porn promotes violence and degrading of women? Not so much anymore. While I do think there is a fraction of people who see a violent porn and want to act on it, that fraction is much smaller than the amount of people who watch it for fantasy sake. People watch it to get off. Shit! I watch it to get off! It's fast and I don't have time.
Most sane people have bizarre sexual fantasies and don't want to tell or even act on them (for example, rape porn, drunk porn, sleeping chick porn). It's normal, very normal, even rape porn. Most important, it's private. And if you have a problem with rape porn blame the media and Hollywood for making that a popular fantasy.
I started porn when I was 32, I'm 36 now. I don't think I could have handled doing porn at 18 or 21. But if Sasha Grey can then good for her. Her opinions don't really matter to me. I've heard all the arguments and opinions I can stand.
Again, the influence it has on people? I am more disturbed by the commercials with the drunk dorks who rent puppies to get hot chick attention. It seems that the idea of lying to a girl to get her ass is still ok. But porn is not?
An aside, I'd like to outlaw the word poly-amorous.
11/27/09
11/26/09
11/26/09
11/26/09
I am describing the patriarchal paradigm here, NOT how I believe things should be.
Now, the parameters of marriage contract as they are given on a wedding day (pledging fidelity, to forsake all others 'till death do us part, etc.) do not include having "someone on the side." The letter of the law doesn't allow for it, but I think in many cases the unwritten rules of a relationship do.
Sasha didn't say ALL women in these situations have a don't ask-don't tell arrangement with their husbands. The people who live their lives within this paradigm are both men and women and, depending on your views on free will and personal choice (that is, how much we as humans actually have), they to some extent or another chose it.
In the passage from the interview quoted, I see her remarks as critiquing patriarchy, not victim-blaming political wives.
11/27/09
I was simply asking for a cite on the poster's (often they do know) portion of "I don't disagree with her appraisal of how the spouses of adulterous politicians deal with their husband's infidelity (often they do know)"
11/30/09
11/26/09
11/26/09
We always see women like her talking up porn...but I'd like to hear what her co-workers have to say about the empowerment they get from choking, dick-slapping, and other semi-violent acts done to her during a shoot. The enjoyment they got from peeing and jizzing on a woman's face.
Simply put...would we accept this if her male co-stars came out and said it empowered them and they felt it was sexy and ok to do this to a woman on camera?
Flip the perspective and it starts to get kind of horrifying.
11/27/09
11/26/09
A LOT of people on this comment thread don't realize that many HEALTHY women (and men!) get off via being submissive, enjoy being chocked, having their hair pulled, their ass slapped, being called names and belittled, and that there is nothing wrong with this type of sex when it is practiced correctly (safe, sober, sane, safe word.... I remember the bylaws having lots of S's when I learned about this type of sex).
There is some serious need of education on this topic.
Although the porn industry could do well to have a little more high profile S&M where the male is the one being submissive, because A) I'm sure there are both men and women who want to see that, and B) It will help people understand that this type of sex isn't supposed to be about abuse against women.
11/26/09
11/27/09
#sex
11/28/09
Porn in general though is a whole separate issue...
I think there is a healthy place for porn in people's lives. I don't tend to watch it, but I know many men and women who do.
And if you happen to be turned on by foot fetishes or orgies or rape fantasies or anything like that, why wouldn't you watch what turns you on? I wouldn't feel comfortable watching Sasha Grey's porn as described, but for people who enjoy those acts in their own sex lives (i.e. violent scenarios), it makes sense for the porn they watch to reflect those same acts. Why would they watch non-fetished porn if they themselves act out the same fetishes?
However, I completely agree with you that accusing people who have problems with or just don't enjoy porn as prudes and hypocrites is entirely unacceptable.
11/25/09
Although I can totes understand why they wouldn't actually go looking for someone else to interview, I mean there might be feminist and some of them might be black, and I can't have a black feminist at my pool party! I mean there are going to be girls in their swim suits there.
11/25/09
I get why some interviewers have made her defensive. However, insulting the many people who are actually interested in what she has to say, instead of how much can fit in her holes (that's not a judgement on her or the viewer, as I do watch porn), seems like an unwise tactic.
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
But I don't find her to have a lot of charisma on screen, sexual or otherwise, and some of the praise of her intellect comes across as condescending, like it's some kind of miracle that a sex worker could be articulate. If she was just a regular actress, would anyone really think she was that special?
11/25/09
11/26/09
Where's the porn star equivalent of Tina Fey, dammit?
11/27/09
11/25/09
Um, doesn't the idea that her morals should dictate "everyone's" behavior sort of contradict her primary point?
How about this: when you enter into a relationship with someone, make sure that their key values are at least mostly aligned with yours. Otherwise, there will be lying, fights, and general unhappiness.
Granted, this attitude isn't as "sexy" as saying everyone should be able to have affairs with impugnity and those who disagree with that dictate are backwards prudes, but it does make a lot more sense.
You'd think that Sasha Grey would see the attitudes leveled at her and those in her profession and adopt a more "live and let live" approach to judging relationships. Instead, she has the same black-and-white views as the mainstream, just in the opposite order.
11/26/09
Don't you want to be cultured like Sasha Grey?!
11/26/09
It's we've set up France as Le Cheatopia, where hookers, mistresses, and toyboys are a regular part of the family!
11/27/09
11/27/09
But then, I blame them for everything.
11/25/09
11/25/09
I'm mulling over what I'd want to say about it in an academic paper, though I'm not even in grad school yet.
#tips
11/26/09
11/25/09
Hey, that sounds like a lot of battered wives. They feel like they can't get out, and their husbands beat them and then feel bad and buy them gifts. They don't want to tell anybody because a) they are well provided for, and b) it would be humiliating to admit what he's doing to them.
Victim blaming? Most certainly.
11/25/09
11/25/09
I personally found her to sound pretty immature and naive. Granted, she's got some interesting ideas but they're not fully formed or rather accessible in my opinion. If anything, I feel like some of the ideas she presented were fed to her from the porn industry. She came across as very defensive (completely understandable) and young.
I don't mean to lambaste her but I don't think she's in the position to be expressing her opinions on a wide range of subjects when it seems like she has very little experience or knowledge outside of her work.
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
This doesn't sound like me to even be critiquing someone's opinion. I hear this as questioning her right to have opinions and talk about them.
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/26/09
11/27/09
And yes, I respect the opinions of people who can tell me WHY they like the new Julian Casablancas album more than people who cannot. That is why music criticism exists!
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
#tips
11/25/09
Funny how people can excuse violence just because it's related to sex acts. Actually, not so funny.
11/25/09
Fuck. Whatever happened to "choose your choice"?
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09
11/25/09