• Lindsay Lohan says she wants people to stop saying she's fighting with Samantha Ronson and "making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person."

• "I'm really a good person and I have a good heart and just want to work and the only reason I go to clubs is to hear Samantha spin or be normal," says Lindsay Lohan. "I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I don't lie. I love to act and write and be creative and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it." Lindsay continued, saying she wished "people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be ... It would be really nice if people would believe in me." [E!]
• Sources claim Angelina Jolie is on the old lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup diet because she is trying to lost 21 pounds. A source on the set of Salt says, "She does all her own stunts…we worry she could injure herself due to the weight loss." [Perez Hilton]
• A man is suing the Lili Claire Foundation because he claims he paid $30K to meet Angelina Jolie and two years later he hasn't met her or gotten his money back. [TMZ]
• Rihanna was house hunting in L.A. yesterday, without Chris Brown or Wilmer Valderrama. [Pop Sugar]
• Chris Brown toured Norfolk State University this weekend in Virginia as a "support factor" for his cousin, who is a prospective student. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears' estate has paid her 17 lawyers $2.7 million dollars since her conservatorship began, and that's not even counting 2009. [E!]
• Matt Lauer is recovering from shoulder surgery after a bike accident. Today show co-anchor Ann Curry says the operation went "very well," but Lauer is probably in "a lot of pain." [USA Today]
• Jennifer Aniston put a hood over her head and had a security guard lead her into a New York City studio today. [TMZ]
• Sasha Baron Cohen uses fake production companies to trick Americans into appearing in his films. Now the websites for the companies have been deleted. [The Smoking Gun]
• Anne Hathaway is going to play Judy Garland in a film and a stage version of the biography Get Happy: The Life of Judy Garland. [D Listed]
• Nicole Richie made fun of rumors that she's having twins, saying "I have twins!" then gesturing to Joel and Benji Madden. "People popped out of me yesterday," she said. [E!]
• Zac Efron was promoting 17 Again in France while wearing a stained and torn t-shirt. [Jossip]
• Miley Cyrus says she wants Hanna Montana to continue after the movie comes out this April, but she added, "It's just an honor for people to be able to relate to me and my music – and not so much the character anymore ... I can't be Hannah Montana forever. I have to have something after this. I can't do this when I'm 30." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson is reportedly appearing on American Idol. The unannounced performance will be taped on Wednesday and shown at a later date. [Perez Hilton]
• Jon Hamm has joined the cast of the indie movie Howl about the obscenity trial of Allen Ginsberg's poem. James Franco, Mary-Louise Parker, David Strathairn, and Jeff Daniels have already joined the cast. Hamm will play the defense attorney who was the inspiration for Perry Mason. [Variety]
• American Idol winner David Cook has issued a warning to his fans. He says: "I have to address some behavior that has become disturbing. We pride ourselves on being accessible to you as fans, but in contrast, we do enjoy what little privacy we can muster. To that end, the efforts by some fans to find our hotel rooms, call our hotel rooms, attach things to our bus, etc., is something I have to condemn. This relationship only works when it remains healthy for both parties, and should this behavior continue, the only thing we can do is take more preventative measures to maintain our privacy, which in turn makes us less accessible to you." [The Superficial]
• George Lopez is getting his own late night talk show ... on TBS. [Extra]
• Rhys Ifans says the paparazzi don't bother him much now that he's not dating Sienna Miller. He says, "It's all about who you're shagging and I don't do that anymore... I learnt my lesson there, didn't I? I won't make that mistake again.' [The Daily Mail]
• Al Gore will publish the book Our Choice, the sequel to An Inconvenient Truth in November. [Crain's]
• Jenna Bush Hager's Secret Service van was towed in Baltimore last week for unpaid tickets. [People]
• If you're craving more on David Letterman's glamourous Montana wedding, there are details here, including that "the bride wore a navy blue suit and a peach-colored rose corsage." [People]
• Here's a picture of Calista Flockhart's new engagement ring from Harrison Ford. [People]
• You may have seen it before, but this 1994 clip of Jon Stewart interviewing Conan O'Brien on his old MTV show is worth a second viewing, if only for Jon's leather jacket and stone washed jeans. [Jossip]
• Stephen Colbert's effort to get a room in the international space station named after him was successful. NASA allowed write-ins and their name suggestion, "Serenity," could not stand up to the Colbert Nation. [Variety]
• Adam Carolla decided to make a free daily podcast when his radio show ended last month. Within days it took the number one spot on iTunes and is one of the most downloaded podcasts ever. [Esquire]
• Avril Lavigne was spotted arguing with her husband Deryck Whibley at a L.A. nightclub. A source says she "kept downing vodka drinks, to the point where she was obliterated. She ended up fighting with her husband before ignoring him completely." [Perez Hilton]
• Kim Kardashian wants to get rid of all the posers pretending to be her on Twitter. "There's so many fake (Kims) that are going around Twittering, saying all this crazy stuff that it really bothers me," says Kim. [Socialite Life]
• Kanye West is still trying to enlighten us. He says: "I like the challenge of having to win people over with a new concept ... My father (Ray West) was a salesman. And I saw him have to talk people into things and expose people to new ideas all the time. And I like that. What's the point if you're not presenting something new to people, that people might not be ready for, and exposing people to new ideas?" [USA Today]
• Michael Sheen, who has played David Frost and Tony Blair, said the real-life actor he would most like to play is Richard Burton. "He had an amazing life coming from a similar background to me, very working class, then ended up being with the most glamorous woman in the world," said Sheen. He added, "Maybe I will do the Welsh trio - Burton, Tom Jones and Shirley Bassey. That would take people by surprise." [The Star]
• "I'd like to be with somebody who isn't afraid to take care of me - whether they have the same. financial means as me or not. What's important is that they realize there are other ways of taking care of me that have [nothing] to do with money. Like cooking me dinner or going to the grocery store or picking up after yourself." — Jaime Pressley [Just Jared]

You may now go scour your brain with bleach, if needed, and also recognize that Mr. Paul must be a pretty good boss for not firing his press secretary. [Slate]

Obama keeps giving his press secretary Robert Gibbs the good zingers, allowing him to respond to former Vice President Dick Cheney's remarks about how the Obama Administration is causing the next terrorist attack: "I guess Rush Limbaugh was busy." Press Secretary of Snark? [Washington Post]

But the big story of the day, again, is the AIG post-bailout bonus situation that the Administration is totally going to do something about! And by "something" they mean either make AIG use its next round of bailout funds to pay back the bonuses or try to convince people not to take them, bonuses that the Administration has known they were going to get for months now. Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley thinks AIG exsecs should all commit hari kari, John McCain is pissed that he flip-flopped on bailing the company out, so he flip-flopped again on Twitter and I'm still wondering who the fuck needs a bonus (known as a "retention payment") in this economy to stay at their jobs! [NY Times, Washington Post, Politico, ThinkProgress]

Iif you weren't already annoyed at the Administration, reportedly, Barack Obama may back off a campaign pledge to officially call the Armenian genocide a genocide because the Turkish government won't like it, which is the same reason we've not officially been calling it a genocide since it began. [LA Times]

Back to hating on Republicans, who are trying to get Norm Coleman to take his fight the whole way to the Supreme Court, not because they think he'll win but because it will stymie Majority Leader Harry Reid's agenda and ability to pass legislation. [Wall Street Journal]

Clarence Thomas gave a speech in which he said he thinks Americans don't know how to sacrifice enough (of their rights). [Huffington Post]

OMB Director Peter Orszag told South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford to go fuck himself and his plan to use the stimulus money to pay down the state's debt and not stimulate the economy. [Washington Post]

• Aretha Franklin is getting ready to sing for Barack Obama at the inauguration. She met him in 2005 at the funeral of Rosa Parks and says: "I think they expect between three and five million people at the swearing-in. Although I have sung for many, many people - hundreds of thousands - I have never sung for that kind of number, but I am absolutely looking forward to it." [Times of London]
• Kerry Washington, who was the national co-chair for the Vote for Change initiative, is in D.C. for the inauguration and has already attended an Essence magazine lunch and hit some cocktail parties. [USA Today]
• Yesterday's "We Are One" concert at the Lincoln Memorial featured Beyoncé, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi and U2. Watching in the VIP section: Blair Underwood and family; Jay-Z, Angela Bassett. [MSNBC Scoop, Washinton Post]
• In D.C.: J.Lo, Marc Anthony, Shakira, Rosie Perez, Wilmer Valderrama, George Lopez, Geraldo Rivera, Rosario Dawson and others at the Latino Inaugural Ball. Lopez and Anthony were seen kissing. [Politico]
• At the Declare Yourself event: Jessica Alba, Ben Affleck, Jamie Foxx, Hayden Panettiere, Rick Schroeder, Sarah Silverman, John Legend and Lindsay Lohan. [Politico]
• Oprah's best friend Gayle King is in D.C. too, she went to the BET Honors VIP reception. She's got her own XM radio show. [WaPo]
• By the by, J. Lo and Marc are showing "no visible signs of marital distress" despite the tabloid headlines. [MSNBC]
• Picture this: 50 Cent was performing at a Vitamin Water party at the Sundance Film Festival and it was Jim Carrey's birthday, so Fiddy invitved Carrey onto the stage where he busted out some dance moves. [Gatecrasher]
• Mariah Carey got wasted at a Sundance event her husband was DJing. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Winslet says of The Reader and Revolutionary Road: "I've been very lucky this year. It's extraordinary playing two such wonderful women." Understatement! [Telegraph]
• Leonardo DiCaprio says of filming with Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes: "It felt like a kind of a family — a sort of weird twisted family." [Mirror]
• Ashton Kutcher's blog on The Huffington Post is about a Presidential Pledge. He writes: "We have gathered a group of individuals who share the courage to pledge to our president, and the world at large, what it is that they are willing to do, give, or sacrifice, in an effort to help their fellow man. Our hope is that this effort will inspire others to do the same, with individuals posting their initiatives within their communities. This is not a selfless utopian action. In fact it is a very selfish one. By improving the lives of those who surround us we will in effect improve our own." [HuffPo]
• If you haven't already seen the sad spectacle that is Joaquin Phoenix rapping, click for video. [E!]
• Also a sad spectacle: Joaquin's beard. [People]
• Jeremy Piven's publicist is upset that the producers of Speed-The-Plow have filed a grievance against Piven and says it's outrageous. "He withdrew from the play due to medical necessity on the advice of his doctors, Samantha Masts insists. She also notes he hasn't even been paid for his Broadway stint yet. [UPI, E!]
• This long, long story is about how, with all of her projects, Victoria is beating David and emerging as the "winner" in the Beckham marriage. [Times Of London]
• Any chance Tina Fey's Sarah Palin character will show up on Amy Poehler's new TV show? "No, no, no." [E!]
• The death of Mark Ruffalo's brother, Scott, has been ruled a homicide. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which odd couple better hope their mutual spouses don’t discover that they shared a recent night of passion in Las Vegas?" [Gatecrasher]
• Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman threw Where The Wild Things Are-themed birthday party for their son, Max, on Saturday. [People]
• Is Kate Middleton, Prince William's ladylove, coming to New York? She's spoken with Anna Wintour and Tom Ford and is thinking about working at a major fashion house. [Daily Express]
• Paris Hilton really is BFFs with the winner of her MTV show, Brittany Flickinger: "I love her. She’s slept at my house every night for the last four weeks." But! Paris's dream best friend? Angelina Jolie. "She’s strong but gorgeous and uses her fame for good to make a big difference in the world. That’s a great quality. I’d have a lot in common with her." Um, LOL? [Pop Dirt]
• Isla Fisher is trying to plot her wedding to Sacha Baron Cohen: "[It] has been difficult to plan," she tells Allure. "It is very important to me to have a beautiful ritual celebrated with all my family and friends… when you are in the public eye, to keep that private and to make it happen without it being really visible is really difficult." Plus, Bruno could show up! [SMH]
• Kate Moss's birthday party was a "monumental medieval bash," but the young lady at the door accidentally let some random people in and got yelled at by Kate. [This Is London]
• Jamie Hince has purchased some unconventional artwork for Kate Moss's 35th birthday: A Parisian graffiti artist will spray the pieces directly on the walls of Kate's house. [The Sun]
• Whoops! Katy Perry was accidentally given the International Song Of THe Year award in Cannes, due to an error in the vote-counting. The real winner? Rihanna. [News.com.au]
• Boy George is in prison, where, says an inmate, "He’s not been crying but seems to be in another world and sleeps a lot. They’ve put him in a cell with a Rasta guy to protect him and there is always a guard close by." [The Sun]
• The Jonas Brothers are getting their own TV show, and it's inspired by the Beatles… and the Monkees. The concept: The bros play boys in a band trying to live normal lives at a regular school, despite being trailed by throngs of ardent fans. A hard day's night? [Reuters]
• By the by, Nick Jonas lost a ping-pong game to Sasha and Malia Obama. [UPI]
• Uh-oh: Three buses carrying this year's 52 Miss America got lost on the ladies' first night in Las Vegas. [UPI]
• Sexy spoiler alert: This season of Lost will be extremely Sawyer-centric. And! Oh! New video sneak peek! [E!]
• Here's an interview with Lost's Michael Emerson, aka Benjamin Linus. [E!]
• Hmm, Jay Jopling, the dude that Lily Allen's been hanging all over, is actually married to edgy British artist Sam Taylor-Wood, and now she's facing a £100m divorce. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Guy Ritchie and Robert Downey Jr. have become friends while shooting Sherlock Holmes, Downey is angry that Ritchie is making him wear four-inch platforms in his shoes to give his character some height. A source says: "Rob is stumbling around a lot and cursing Guy over the silly shoes." [The Sun]
• ZOMG, Courtney Love is trying to set up Frances Bean with Twilight's Robert Pattinson! [Daily Mail]
• Portia de Rossi says marriage has changed her life. "It's legal, and it's real, so there's that kind of formality to it that makes it very valid," she says. "I think the emotions that went with that as a gay woman kind of surprised me – that I would be that relieved to have my mother be present at the ceremony to bless the union, and to call [Ellen] her daughter-in-law." [People]
• Congrats to Brothers & Sisters star Rachel Griffiths, who is pregnant with her third child. [UPI]
• The Michael Jackson musical, Thriller Live, has hit the boards in London's West End, but doesn't reference Jackson's backstory. Plus! Producer Paul Walden speaks of MJ in the past tense, saying, "Here was an artist who had an amazing career." [Wall Street Journal]
• FYI: In NYC's horse carriage battle, Liam Neeson is all for them and Alec Baldwin is against. [Page Six]
• CNN's Soledad O'Brien lives in a NYC apartment building where one of her neighbors has a mastiff. Apparently O'Brien is not a fan of the dog due to its "size, slobbering, shedding, drooling, gassiness and odors" — and got the animal — and its owners — kicked out of the building. Sad face! O'Brien has a cat. [ Gothamist]
• Brody Jenner and his Playboy Playmate girlfriend like to stay home and bake cookies. Her Christmas gift to him was a custom surfboard emblazoned with a photo from her Playmate of the Year spread and the Playboy Bunny logo. Classy! [People]
• Alex Trebek is hosting something called Canada's Next Prime MInister. Is that how they do it up north? [Yahoo News]
• Eliza Dushku is developing a biopic about the late photographer Robert Mapplethorpe, and her brother, Nate, will star. Keeping the homoeroticism in the family! [E!]
• John Cleese, 69, has a 27-year-old girlfriend named Barbie, and she's telling this paper about seeing him naked and having sex with him and says he has the "package of a 19-year-old." [Mirror]
• Look for Cher to star in a comedy in which Johnny Knoxville is her love interest. She's 62; he's 35. Fox 411]
• Madonna's new promo shot in which she is wearing thigh-high bondage boots and white fishnet tights, a thong and a top that resembles a surgical bandage is really not that raunchy, considering. [Telegraph]
• Check out Eddie Murphy getting friendly with a blonde on the dancefloor. [Concrete Loop]
• Apparently what the world needs now is another Gordon Gekko movie. [Telegraph]
• "They photoshopped the crap out of me! I don’t care — whoever she is, she looks great!" — Kelly Clarkson, commenting on the photograph on the cover of her new single. [Gatecrasher]
• "When I started filming Lost I was 24 and I’ll be 30 this summer… When you’re in your 20s, men tend to see you as a piece of ass, and women will probably regard you as young and cute. But once you reach your 30s, suddenly people are going to take you seriously and women are more like, 'She’s reached maturity and she’s going to start sagging like the rest of us!'" — Evangeline Lily. [Mirror]
• "I always wanted to kill Hitler, I hated him. As a child studying history and looking at documents, I wondered, why didn't someone stand up and try to stop it?" — Tom Cruise. [Reuters, USA Today]
• "This is me saying this is who I am. This is my story. After all the years of reading scripts and reading lines, this is my chance to do something straight from the heart and put it out there. When I was young I liked punk rock music but then I discovered rap. I love the storytelling aspect of hip-hop." — Joaquin Phoenix. [People]
• "Obama's a unique figure in history. The fundamental American-ness of his story and the fact that he represents for many, many people an image and a view of the country that felt like it was so long missing in action…This place we've been talking about, singing about... it's alive. It isn't dead. It exists… There's always tomorrow and, hopefully, you can use the word 'hopefully' now. You can live here, and use the word 'hopefully'. So that's pretty nice." — Bruce Springsteen. [Guardian]

• Apparently emboldened by last week's success in Milan, Bruno — aka Sacha Baron Cohen — crashed Stella McCartney today. "With his red thong clearly visible above his jeans, the comedian — who was virtually unrecognisable in a flamboyant leather gilet, with his slicked-down hair dyed blonde and brown — sucked Tampax, clapped along to the music and generally disgruntled the front row by continually pushing aside those sitting in front of him for a better look at the models." He then delivered a "lone standing ovation." [VogueUK]
• In total radness: DVF to design a comic book in connection with her Wonder Woman-inspired collection. Really hoping she has to make the rounds of the comics conventions. [Fashionista]
• Chloe Sevigny gets into menswear. Well, Gallo will wear it. [Nylon]

• Andre Benjamin's clothing line is for the modern fop. "To create a persona for his fashion line, Mr. Benjamin combined his surname with that of Bill Bixby. The character is a world traveler whose wardrobe includes things like a $995 cotton corduroy blazer, a $350 felted waistcoat and a $95 newsboy cap." [NY Times]
• Whoever wears that will surely be the intended demographic for "J. Crew's first book." "Written by Max Blagg and illustrated by Hugo Guinness, What a Man Should Know is a collection of 50 (very) whimsical tips for the modern male. So what should you know? Chess, wine, and figure-drawing." [Men.Style]
• Some people claimed Heidi stole the Project Runway premise — aka the same setup every single competition reality show has ever had ever. A judge, not surprisingly, dismissed it. [wwltv]
• Michelle Obama sports H&M on the campaign trail. [BlackBook]
• Lagerfeld video. Nuff said. [NY Mag]
• Scary Spice Mel B wants a Project Runway-style reality show. Get in line, kid. [E]
• Rather than going bargain basement, Target courts recessionistas. [Business Week]
• More on Miss Sixty's woes. [BBC]
• Sorta It-Girl Cory Kennedy to replace Kinda It-Girl Daisy Lowe as the face of Docs. [Fashionista]
• Levi's tries way, way too hard: "The San Francisco company has launched a new viral effort it hopes will attract young men to pass along videos of customized "beasts" emerging from the button-fly of Levi's jeans. At Unbuttonyourbeast.com, visitors can choose from nine different animated characters with names like Trout Troutman, Paul the Pincher and Sock Nasty, then customize the beast's message by calling a toll-free number. The effort, unsurprisingly, is geared to young men just out of college." The emails are titled, "Do you dare to unbutton my beast?" [AdWeek]
• India eases the way for the burgeoning luxury market. [IHT]
• Guy Ritchie's first hit since hooking up with Madge: a Nike ad gets big on YouTube. [Telegraph]
• Naomi Campbell's gonna walk for Hermes; everybody flips out. [Fashion Week Daily]
• I wish these celebs would stop calling their mix tapes "albums." Anyhoo, Heatherette designer Richie Rich's, "Celebutante," is about to drop. [Fashionista]
• "If there were a gold medal for marathon modeling, Shalom Harlow would surely win it for the Viktor & Rolf fashion film that will begin today on the Dutch duo’s Web site. 'It was like the fashion Olympics,' said Rolf Snoeren, who, with Viktor Horsting, reenacted a high-tech version of 'Funny Face' to showcase their spring collection. 'It was 14 hours a day on high heels, but she was a champion.'” [WWD]
• 80's power shoulders are big (sorry) on the Paris runways. [WSJ]
• That gold statue of Kate Moss was just unveiled. [Mirror]
• UGGS are like cockroaches: all that will be left after a nuclear holocaust. While everything else is foundering, UGGs is way up! [WSJ]
• The Lauren Conrad line forlorn and unbought. [Page Six]
• Bossy new bikini has "decorative beads" that change color when UV rays grow dangerously high. [Telegraph]
• Screw Jimmy Choos. Cheap shoes make more sense for actual walking. [Daily News]
• "Margherita Missoni, meanwhile, has experienced some teasing for wearing vintage sparkling Harper’s Bazaar frames — due to an eye problem. 'Suzy Menkes says it’s my Sarah Palin look,' she laughed. 'It is definitely not inspired by her.'" [WWD]

[Hollywood, November 21. Image via x17]

[Hollywood Hills, September 30. Image via x17]

[Hollywood, September 5. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, August 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• So it was Vanessa Minnillo in those Lohan-knife-"sexy"? photos! We thought Minnillo was famous for dating Nick Lachey but apparently she's also famous for being the celebrity interviewer least likely to interview celebrities now that she's a seasoned starfucker. Also, she is one of the very exclusive cadre of industry babes who has been linked to Derek Jeter. So why is she just being identified today, if the photos appeared on Sunday Euro time? Because the gossip press cares ALMOST as much as we do. [Page Six]
  
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson split, giving us respite from their constant reminders that the offscreen existence of celebrities whose movies we have actually seen is somehow evem more depressing than that of Heidi and Spencer. [Page Six]
  
• Jolie-Pitt's next adopt-quisition to be a Czech boy, thereby tilting her family's racial makeup towards Aryan Nation territory. [TheSun]
  
• MSNBC anchor Joe Scarborough asks if Fred Thompson's wife "works the pole," which is something we guess is okay to ask among conservatives as long as Michelle Malkin isn't listening. [Crooks&Liars]
  
• People are still wondering who Prince Harry's "REAL" dad is. [USAToday]
  
• Paris Hilton gets a cell bigger than the room we lived in until May; a jumpsuit with short sleeves, and is allowed to keep her extensions. [TMZ]

• Joe Francis is free on his tax evasion charges after posting $1.5 million bail; crimes against humanity still working themselves out. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston drops thousands on gifts for Wyatt Crow, otherwise known as the kid Sheryl Crow (creepily? should we give her a break since .. like, cancer?) told OK Magazine was "My Dream Baby." [TMZ]
• And speaking of environmentalists with significant others maybe a leeeedle bit too narcissistic to handle them: Laurie and Larry David split. [Page Six]
• Borat's fiance totally cried at "Knocked Up" last weekend. [People]
• Today Show staffers call Good Morning America "Gay-MA" and host Chris Cuomo an epithet so sophomoric it sounds like something Jenny would say. [Page Six]
• Real estate mogul to his 7-year-old upon presentation of her Lego rendition of his building: "Ivanka, I wasn't going to say anything, but this really has been bothering me, there are five setbacks in the façade of the Trump Tower, not six."[LizSmith]