1.) Wanda Sykes' Sarah Palin pop-up book

2.) Tyra's "big" holiday give-away show
First of all, she doesn't even give the presents to everyone in the audience, just one audience member per gift. Secondly, she sounds more like she's on the street corner trying to sell us shit that fell off the back of a truck.

3.) These shirts:

4.) Tuna

5.) Same shit, different drunks
I missed the first two episodes of the new season of Bad Girls Club while away on vacation, but I caught the new one that aired this week, and it seems like I didn't miss much.

6.) Extreme Bathrooms
There was actually an hour-long show all about "extreme" bathrooms. I watched the whole thing, because it seemed like a Homer Simpson-y thing to do, but it was basically all like this:

7.) Babs
I don't know if it's all the years on television and all the awards she's received, or the onset of dementia, but it seems like every time she speaks now—about anything—she expects everyone to be fascinated, or at least impressed, with what she's saying.

8.) That's my Mariah!

9.) Mom who grows weed
A woman sold her hair salon and asked her son how she should invest her money, and he bought her a piece of land and turned her into a medical marijuana farmer. She's enjoying it.

10.) Last-minute Christmas gift idea
The Shady Lady brothel has just added male prostitutes to its roster. The madam there is offering coupons.

• Robert Pattinson freaked out when a fan jumped out of a car at a red light and kissed him explaining, "My mom wouldn't pull the car over to let me out because I'm just getting over the swine flu…"

• Pattinson shoved the girl off of him and yelled "You have the swine flu?!… What the hell are you doing kissing anyone?" Then he went to the nearest drug store and bought some Listerine. This story was brought to you by the National Enquirer and quite possibly, the letters B and S. [News.com.au]
• Jon Gosselin was in court today to face a former lawyer who is suing him for non-payment. [Radar Online]
• Sources say Jon and Kate Gosselin's final divorce decree will be issued today or tomorrow. Also, after photos surfaced of Jon shooting a handgun on his lawn in Pennsylvania yesterday, a judge ordered Jon not to bring a firearm onto the property he and Kate own. [Radar Online]
• Charles Fradenburg, Kurt Cobain's uncle, said his sister Wendy O'Connor has been trying to get custody of Frances Bean Cobain for many years because Courtney Love " is not fit to take care of Frances, she can barely take care of herself ... Courtney wasn't doing any parenting at all, she was hiring nannies to do all of the work." [TMZ]
• This is just sad although take it with a grain of salt: Theresa Rogers claims that Tiger Woods told her during their affair that he only married Elin Nordegren to boost his public image. [Radar Online]
• A resident of Windermere, Florida says Tiger Woods heads to a nearby course and hits golf balls "to clear his head" at night. "He goes after dark so he can't be seen. For him, what's more therapeutic than hitting golf balls, the thing he's best at in the whole world?" says the source. [Us]
• Erin Muller got her ex Michael Lohan arrested on Monday for violating her restraining order, so he had her arrested today for allegedly kicking him in the head on November 14. He says he wanted to get her out of her car because she was "too drunk and high" to drive. [TMZ]
• Kevin Jonas will marry Danielle Deleasa this weekend on Long Island. [Radar Online]
• Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante quit the group for a second time because, he says, "my musical interests have led me in a different direction." [Reuters]
• Amanda Seyfried is now too big for Big Love. "She's been exploring her movie career for a couple of years now, and we've been giving her a lot of room to do that," says Big Love creator Will Scheffer. "I know having a commitment to a show for six months definitely cuts into her ability to pursue that career." At the end of the season, her character will move away. [TV Guide]
• The executors of Michael Jackson's will are asking the court for "extraordinary compensation" rather than the usual executors fee because they've had to defend the estate against both Joe and Katherine Jackson and hey've been working 14 hours a day, 7 days a week to sort out MJ's finances. [TMZ]
• Steven Burky has been charged with two counts of felony stalking for allegedly breaking a restraining order Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner filed against him last year. Garner says he's been stalking her since 2002 and he was arrested earlier this week outside Violet Affleck's school. [TMZ]
• Ashanti's mother Tina Douglas testified today against Devard Hurd, the man accused of sending Ashanti's family members pictures of his genitals and text messages about having sex with her. "It was just disgusting and humiliating and extremely frightening," Douglas said. [AP]
• LeeLee Sobieski gave birth to her first child with her fiance, menswear designer Adam Kimmel ,late last night. They're keeping the name under wraps for now. [Us]
• Tom Brady was asked how week one went for his new baby with Gisele Bunchen. "It's good. It's good. I'm glad it's over!" said Tom. "I'm trying to get back to my normal sleep schedule, which I'm sure, for all of us parents, is a little tough early." [People]
• Oprah Winfrey donated $1.5 million to the Ron Clark Academy, a private middle school in inner-city Atlanta. Last December Oprah donated $365,000 to the school. [AP]
• Loretta Lynn cancelled a string of shows and insiders say its because she has the flu and is "fighting for her life." "Loretta's stubborn. She wanted to play the dates, but her doctors told her point-blank she needed to rest for weeks," says a source. "But Loretta insists, 'You tell me I can't sing anymore, you might as well dig the hole and throw dirt on me.'" [Contact Music]
• Melanie Griffith's rep announced that she had surgery to remove early stage skin cancer from her face. The procedure was done early enough to prevent more complications. [AP]
• Lady Gaga says her song "Dance In The Dark" is about "a girl who likes to have sex with the lights off, because she's embarrassed about her body. She doesn't want her man to see her naked. She will be free, and she will let her inner animal out, but only when the lights are out... These lyrics are a way for me to talk about how I believe women and some men feel innately insecure about themselves all the time. It's not sometimes, it's not in adolescence, it's always." [MTV]
• 1.42 million people watched Tuesday's episode of Bad Girls Club, making it Oxygen's highest-rated non-finale show ever. [Media Week]
• Guy Ritchie says he wanted to make sure Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law were friends before they started shooting Sherlock Holmes. "What was essential to me is that when these guys first met as mates that they really got on with one other, and they did — within five seconds," Ritchie said . "Rudy [Downey Jr.] and Judy [Law] and I had a lot of late nights in the pub." [CNN]
• Jude Law says he regrets changing his name from David Law because, "(I was) assigned to the girls' dormitories and sleeping quarters when I was a teenager and I joined the National Youth Music Theatre. Someone took a look at my name and clearly thought, 'It has to be a girl.' How wrong can you get?" [Daily Express]
• Q: "So when are you going to be made a Sir?" Hugh Grant: "You would assume it's around the corner. No, I'm pretty hated in my own country, sadly. I love it, it hates me." [Popeater]
• Hugh Grant says that in Did You Hear About The Morgans, "I look ridiculous. I look like some old lesbian." [CBS News]
• Sarah Ferguson, who produced The Young Victoria, says the character she relates to most in the film is, "Prince Albert, because I know what it's like to be a guest. It is very difficult when you are not born in to it, to fit in to a life that you cannot logically understand. [Those born to it] are born to duty and to be selfless to the grave." [Reuters]
• "I had a girl come up to me once with a sunflower, like, she just came running up to me, and she just wanted to say thanks for being in Almost Famous. I was like, 'Thank Cameron Crowe!' And I thank him every day, I do. That experience for me was like growing up. So thank you for asking about it, and feeling so strongly about it, because that film was a huge part of my life, too." — Kate Hudson [Nylon]
• "As I look back, I've always been so proud of what I've been able to do in film. It was sort of by default that I created this strong identity or the voice of the misfit or the disenfranchised or the outsider. For me, I just look for complexity. Even in the early years, like in the '90s, I was just looking for interesting roles or working with filmmakers that allowed me to bring more to the table than these cookie-cutter youth roles. And particularly being a young female, they usually were a daughter who is pretty in-the-box, like, "Precocious Girl!" or the girlfriend — "She's desirable! She's on the cusp of womanhood!" — or whatever these boring things were." — Juliette Lewis [USA Today]
• "I always get thrown out of the set, because asking for too many takes. I have a problem with that. I cannot let go. I cannot say 'OK, now we can stop and move to the next thing...' I drive everybody crazy because I can't control myself. I always want to do one more." — Penelope Cruz [Daily Express]
• When asked how her beauty routine has changed over the years, Cate Blanchett said, "Back then, I'd go to bed with my makeup on if I'd been out. And I went through a big Gothic phase, so my pillow was always covered in black mascara and white pancake makeup." [People]
• One of Demi Moore's Twitter followers wrote after seeing a recent picture of her, "Sorry but, you look old... specially your neck and cheecks [sic] at the second shot... i'm really sorry." She replied: "I'm 47, how am I supposed to look?." [Daily Mail]

• The lawsuit also reveals that the players were asked not to wear bras or underwear, in order to better promote "accidental nudity." • NBC's program "The Sing Off" has slowly become almost all-male, according to Neil Genzlinger for the New York Times. Last night the two all-women groups were on the chopping block, which lead Genzlinger to wonder: "Are men just better at this kind of singing than women? Or, put a different way, is the male vocal range more conducive to a cappella harmonies than the female range?" •  Sonika Kaliraman, 26, was raised on wrestling. Her father, Chandgi Ram, was India's wrestling champion, and now Sonika is living out his dream. She won gold at the Asian Women Wrestling Championship in 2000, but only really became famous when she appeared on the Indian version of Celebrity Fear Factor. She's since learned the importance of "presentation" - i.e. looking pretty. •  A woman from central Israel only narrowly escaped death after swallowing a driedle. Paramedics found the 30-year-old woman on the bed and in critical condition. They have removed the plastic driedle, and she is now in recovery. •  Lawmakers in Spain voted today to relax abortion laws. If the bill is passed in the Senate, women will be allowed to obtain abortions up until 14 weeks. Currently, women are only allowed to obtain an abortion up to week 12 - but only if the pregnancy is the result of rape. • Mehmet Goren has been sentenced to at least 22 years in prison for the honor killing of his 15-year-old daughter. Goren is originally from south-eastern Turkey. He reportedly murdered Tulay Goren on January 7th, 1999, because she had fell and in love and ran away with a Sunni Muslim, while Goren's family was Alevis. Police believe he buried Tulay in their backyard, but her remains have yet to be recovered. • Sad news: Elizabeth Poblete's baby has passed way. Nine days after the Chilean Olympic weightlifter gave birth while training - without even knowing that she was pregnant - her infant son died in a hospital in Sao Paulo. • 455 women in Uganda were interviewed before and after their partners were circumcised, and less than 3% said sex was less satisfying after the operation. Circumcision reduces the spread of HIV, but some people believe that it makes sex less enjoyable for women. Researchers hope their findings can help fight the rumor. • A Florida woman was charged with domestic battery after coming home from a bar and pouring beer on her sleeping boyfriend. She was mad that he's thinking about moving out of state, but now that plan sounds pretty smart. • For Esquire's "What I've Learned" column, Miss America Katie Stam offers words of wisdom like, "When you have to burp, you burp. And then you say, 'Excuse me' very politely." • Despite our best efforts, Sarah Palin continues to get more and more popular. According to a Gallup poll released today, Palin's favorability rating has risen 4 points since October, which puts her at 44%, within 9 points of President Obama. •

[Hawaii, December 16. Image via Splash]

• Remember Caroline Cartwright, she of the loud-sex lawsuit fame? She's back in the news for breaking her "anti-social behavior order" by having really, really loud sex with her husband (again). Breaking the Asbo could carry a sentence of vie years imprisonment, but it is unlikely that Cartwright will face jail time. • Six of the books shortlisted for the International Prize for Arabic Fiction feature female characters and center their struggle to escape their pasts, according to Reuters. The award comes with a $50,000 prize and often leads to publishing deals in other languages. • A Texas couple are facing charges after police found the remains of an aborted 7-month-old fetus in a box under their Christmas tree. They apparently first tried flushing the fetus, which was aborted at home using pills, down the toilet. They have been charged with abuse of a corpse and tampering with evidence. •  California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on Sarah Palin: "You have to ask: what was she trying to accomplish? Is she really interested in this subject or is she interested in her career and in winning the [Republican] nomination [for president]? You have to take all these things with a grain of salt." Or, perhaps, an entire tub of Morton. • Am amusing Marist poll confirms what we suspected: Michelle is the more popular Obama. 68% of Americans have a favorable view of the first lady, with only 20% claiming an unfavorable view. 57% think that she is doing well in her position, and 41% believe that she has changed fashion for the better. • 

The audience seemed thrilled that Palin was there, and her reading of Shatner's book, Up Till Now, went over quite well, particularly when she read lines like "boom! Taste my nightstick!" Palin seemed relaxed, confident, and clearly in control of the crowd, which isn't surprising, considering that her popularity has been growing as of late. It's fairly obvious that the whole thing was clearly designed to publicize both Palin's book and to continue her image overhaul as someone who is in on the joke, as opposed to being the joke, and judging by the overwhelmingly enthusiastic reaction of the the Tonight Show crowd, her plan seems to be working just beautifully.

Sarah Palin's Popularity Grows, Poll Finds [CBSNews]

"I liked what he said. In fact, I thumbed through my book quickly this morning, saying, 'Wow, that really sounded familiar,'" she told USA Today. "I talked in my book, too, about the fallen nature of man and why war is necessary at times, and history's lessons when it comes to knowing when it is when we engage in warfare." Hubris, thy name is Sarah. •  But even if we don't believe Obama is stealing ideas from Palin, there are a good number of people out there who do care about what she has to say - or are at least curious enough to read her garbled writing. Palin's op-ed in the Washington Post on climate change was (sadly) one of the most read WaPo op-eds of the year. • Amazon is offering Going Rogue, the e-book at the discounted price of $7.99, if you preorder now. Going Rogue wont be available for Kindle until December 24th. • In Oprah Winfrey's Christmas at the White House special, which airs Sunday night, Michelle Obama says her favorite childhood gift was a metal dollhouse with plastic furniture. "I really didn't know how to set up a house so I had all the furniture lined up along the walls as opposed to nestled around the fireplace, but I loved that little dollhouse," she said. Another Obama Christmas revelation: Bo has his own stocking. • A new study found that female hedge fund managers are better at managing money than men. On average, funds managed by women produced annual returns of 9%, compared with only 5.82% for those run by men. They concluded that "on average, women tend to be more consistent investors, holding investments longer and processing a greater level of informational detail, including contradictory data, in making decisions." • A 30-year-old Las Vegas woman claims that when she went into labor on November 30th, the staff at the region's only hospital, the University Medical Center, ignored her for so long that she went home and gave birth to a premature baby. The child did not survive. Witnesses from the waiting room have corroborated her story, and hospital chief Kathy Silver has promised to take actions against any staff if her allegations are proven true. •  The New York Fire Department is considering, for the first time ever, electing a woman to serve as fire commissioner. More specifically, they are thinking of promoting Mylan Denerstein, who has executive deputy attorney general for social justice for the state since January 2007. • Liberal blog Firedoglake is trying to get Hadassah Lieberman, wife of Connecticut senator Joe Lieberman, kicked out of her position as "Global Ambassador" for breast cancer foundation Susan G. Komen for the Cure. "As Hadassah travels the globe under the banner of Susan G. Komen for the cure, decrying the inadequacies of our health care system and the desperate need to reform it, her husband is at home to kill the reform efforts we so desperately need," wrote blogger Jane Hamsher. • There are still laws on the books in Minnesota that make it illegal for a married woman to cheat on her husband and for a single woman to have sex. The decades-old laws are not enforced, but a woman could be fined $3,000 and jailed for a year if she cheats. Some Minnesota lawmakers want them repealed, but others say they should be expanded to apply to men as well. "We think they're important. They send a message," said Tom Prichard of the Minnesota Family Council, "When you are dealing with a marriage, it's not just a private activity or a private institution. It's a very public institution. It has enormous consequences for the rest of society." •

• Laura Ingraham is auctioning Sarah Palin's fleece from her Going Rogue cover. Let's take up a collection and shoot a real Going Vogue. [Facebook]
• Givenchy was the winning bidder for Audrey Hepburn's How To Steal A Million LBD. [WWD]

• Sir Elton John is selling — completely fabulous, no doubt — designer clothes from his wardrobe for the benefit of his AIDS foundation. Prices start at £10. [Vogue UK]
• Michelle Obama wore Calvin Klein collection in Oslo. [WWD]
• Antonio Berardi is too cool to collaborate with Lady Gaga. "I was approached to design a clothing range with Lady Gaga but I knocked it back because I wasn't interested in someone whose music is meaningless," says the Italian-born designer. This, from a man who designed heel-less heels? [SN]
• "Women have many lives in a day, and I try to do the best I can to accommodate that. If I have a meeting at my son's school, I don't want to look like a total fashion freak. I think, ‘Could I wear this to Trader Joe's?'" Ever sensible, that Maria Cornejo. [WWD]
• Isaac Mizrahi is returning as the Narrator in the Guggenheim's holiday production of Peter and the Wolf. [NYP]
• Could Taylor Lautner be the latest face of Armani? [InTouch]
• Roberto Cavalli, when not lending his name to opulent Dubai nightclubs with black crystal floors, apparently likes to jet off to Africa and take pictures. Now he wants nothing more than to exhibit them, he told Martha Stewart, and the Daily, yesterday. "I love shooting primitive and simple things," explained Cavalli. You know. Primitive. Like Africa. [Vogue UK]
• P. Diddy visited the New York Stock Exchange for a party celebrating AOL's re-listing as a separate company from TimeWarner, and was apparently inundated with requests for fashion advice from finance chaps. [NYDN]
• A The Sartorialist clothing line and a The Sartorialist television show are just two of the many projects Scott Schuman is discussing presently. [Pedestrian]
• Versace's spring shoes are insane. Normally the shoes that actually enter production are watered-down versions of the sky-high runway clodhoppers; these look like they're one and the same. [TheLifeFiles]
• Jil Sander's second +J collection for Uniqlo will hit stores January 14. In the meantime, here are a few pictures. [Nitrolicious]
• Alexa Chung's MTV show, It's On With Alexa Chung, will end after its season finale on December 17. The network plans to "revamp" the show's format for next January; MTV has already shortened it from one hour to 30 minutes, and experimented with the timeslot. Chung's contract with the company runs through early next year. [Variety]
• At worst, Chung can console herself with the knowledge that she has inspired a Mulberry bag of her very own. The Alexa is a twist on the company's popular Bayswater, and starts at £695. [Elle UK]
• Yesterday, we linked to a Daily Mail story that stated Mulberry's sales had jumped 16% in the six months to September 30. Well, we ought to have known better than to trust that rag for financial news: although profits at the company rose 16%, sales rose a whopping 39%. [Vogue UK]
• Mango opened its first store in Iraq. [FWD]
• "I get my best ideas when I'm in the bath in the morning or when I'm driving," says accessories designer Lulu Guinness. [WWD]
• Lily Cole, on modeling versus acting: "I look at myself differently. I think in magazines I don't have very much control. If a picture of me is great, then great. If it's not so good, it's not my fault. I have less control in that situation. That is one of the things that I like about acting: I do have a lot more control over what I'm doing and more responsibility." [Interview]
• As part of her Vogue/CFDA Fashion Fund award, Sophie Théallet will be mentored by none other than Oscar de la Renta. [WWD]

I'm one of those cultural Luddites who's been fighting to ignore Lady GaGa this year, but after this interview I might have to join the rest of the world in paying attention to her. This was a pretty kickass thing for her to say: "The truth is that every bit of me is devoted to love and art and I aspire to try to be a teacher to my young fans who feel just like I felt when I was younger, I felt like a freak. I guess what I'm trying to say is I wanna liberate them, I wanna free them of their fears and let them know they can create their own space in the world." Okay, world, you're right, she's in.


Kate Gosselin says all eight of her kids cried when they found out they were no longer going to be on TV.


An even smugger than usual (!) Sarah Palin recycles her tired old moose chili anecdote. She's the first person ever to appear on the special two years in a row :(


The most fascinating person of 2009, Michelle Obama, admits that she watches trashy cable TV to unwind. (But just for an hour a week.) The other Most Fascinating (to Barbara) people were: Brett Favre, Adam Lambert, Glenn Beck, Tyler Perry, Jenny Sanford, and Michael Jackson's kids, who, thankfully, were not interviewed.

Washington City Paper's Sexist blog has a smart analysis of Palin's brand of "feminism," which "contains none of the messy political agendas of former feminist waves-it is all personality, all self-reliance, and no politics. It's about speaking your mind, even when you don't know what you're talking about." And frequently, Palin's supporters seem to be actually praising her incoherence. Here are some highlights:


On planning

I think she speaks her mind, and I think sometimes she speaks a little bit unguarded, so she is a little-she's not conformed to speaking planned speech. Planned. It's not planned.

On what Palin stands for

For women, she represents principles, life principles, and for the country she represents principles also.

On landscaping

As a younger female, I like the fact that she has her own opinions and is not afraid to share them with others. Also, that she can stand on her own and pave her own path and not really follow the line of any particular thing.

On beauty

[S]he's fairly attractive, and that doesn't seem to interfere with her being intelligent.

On cruelty

She's not out there like some of the past feminists-and I do not want to call names-that are bashing men and everybody around them. Feminists have a tendency to bash men. They're cruel, and she's not that.

On femininity

I'm not so sure I would put a label on her as a feminist. She presents herself feminine … The impression is that feminists are women who don't like to value their feminine qualities, and they like to put it down and be like a man, and I don't think that's appropriate for women. I kind of like her in that regard, that she's sort of celebrating her womanhood as well.

The statement that Palin doesn't "really follow the line of any particular thing" seems disturbingly apt, especially if "any particular thing" includes "coherent reasoning." Also, unlike mean feminists, Palin has never "bashed" anybody. I could say more about Palin's uncanny ability to turn a lack of experience or substance into an ideology, but instead I'll leave you with a quote from Palin fan Patrick Darby:

I think she's representing the women the way they should be. You know, independent, strong, capable of doing whatever she wants to do, standing up for moral issues. And rights.

Sarah Palin Supporters Talk Feminism [Washington City Paper: Sexist Blog]

• A photo has surfaced of Jessica Simpson out with Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins on Friday night. A source says they're "officially dating... she has fallen hard and is smitten."

• Another source says her posse isn't excited about her latest beau. "He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," says the source. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.'" [E!]
• Elin Nordegren's mother, Barbro Holmberg, was identified as the woman rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home this morning. She's at home now, resting comfortably. [Extra]
• TMZ obtained the dispatch notes from the 911 call from Tiger Woods' home today, which contain nothing interesting. [TMZ]
• According to a source at the hospital, Barbro Holmberg was suffering from stomach pains. [TNZ]
• Gatorade is shutting down production of Tiger Woods Focus Gatorade, but a rep insists, "We made the decision several months ago... our relationship with Tiger continues." [TMZ]
• Star claims Elin Nordegren confronted Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel twice before Thanksgiving. A friend of Rachel's says, "Rachel denied she had an affair with Tiger, and told her, ‘I've walked your husband to a table at [a NYC night club] Griffin, made sure everything was OK, and that's the extent of our relationship. It's ridiculous and crazy that people are saying that I slept with him.'" The second time she told Rachel, "I know everything," then threw her cell phone at Tiger. [Star]
• According to the dispatch log from Tiger Woods' SUV crash, Tiger's agent called the Florida Highway Patrol on the day after the accident to reschedule a meeting because, "He's still too sore from the accident." [TMZ]
• Dennis Rodman weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think people expect me to do it, you know, it's just Dennis. But Tiger, that's a different story... People expect him to be this loving husband and this loving father, and this, you know, when you have that much money and that much power, of course all the hoodrats and everybody is just gonna come all out of the woodwork." [Ok]
• This article blames Alexa Ray Joel's alleged suicide attempt on her mother, Christie Brinkley. She had just come back from vacation with her mom and a source claims, "They have knock-down, drag-out fights regularly over issues relating to Billy Joel." A former family employee adds, "She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father's genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too." [NY Post]
• Showbiz 411 insists that the Post story isn't true and points to an upbeat postcard from Turks and Caicos as proof that "Alexa had a great family holiday." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex-husband, may be the source of the negative stories. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources say Mickey Rourke will marry his 24-year-old Russian girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in April. "They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," says a source. [Daily Express]
• Though Elton John and his partner David Furnish are not allowed to adopt an HIV-positive Ukrainian toddler because the country does not recognize gay unions, they are working to make sure the boy and his brother "have the best health care, education and family options available to them." [AP]
• Madonna said she wound up giving her daughter Lourdes a bigger role in her "Celebration" music video because, "She's been doing rhythmic gymnastics for years and she's very flexible, she's a great dancer... it was one of those fluke things. We didn't intend for her to be in the video. We did intend for her to be in the part where she dresses up for the costumes, that we planned, but the other one where she was just dancing with the dancers... she's very friendly with the dancers and they kind of dragged her into it and you know, it was just a small little piece. It's great, she's a show girl." [Daily Express]
• Madonna says she doesn't know if her kids would rather have a "normal life," and "Anyways they don't have a choice, they're stuck with the mother they have and I think they realise there are pluses and minuses to it. I think sometimes they'd like to walk down the street and just feel like normal kids and that happens, and other times, you know, they get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it and they're very grateful and appreciative for it." [Daily Express]
• Kate Gosselin says her kids are distraught over not being on TV anymore. Kate says: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.' ...Eight sobbing kids driving home from school." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin spent more than three hours serving food at a Raleigh, North Carolina restaurant as cameras filmed her. Her bodyguard Steve Neild told reporters to leave and said she was shooting a test segment for a future program. [WRAL]
• Pauly Shore is suing his brother and accusing him of elder abuse. Pauly claims their mother has been "rendered susceptible to unscrupulous behavior and other undue influence because of her condition," and says his brother improperly removed him from the board of directors as The Comedy Store in Hollywood. [Radar Online]
• Bryant Gumbel has lung cancer and had a malignant tumor removed from his chest last month. "We had told a few people, we told my family, obviously. I even kept it from my staff at Real Sports. So I'm okay for the time being," he said. "I'm hoping they greenlight me to play golf again." [People]
• Though former Geffen Records executive John Kalodner says Lenny Kravitz should take over for Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Kravitz says, "As much as I am flattered that Aerosmith's camp would consider me to front the band, Steven Tyler is a family friend, and no voice could ever take the place of his. I hope the band stays together. They are classic." [Daily Express]
• David Guest just realized taking Michael Jackson's advice about cosmetic surgery was a bad idea. "I had surgery when I was very young and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Michael Jackson kept saying, 'You should have plastic surgery.' I got my nose done and he said, 'Do more, do more!' It was stupid," he said. "If I had my way, I'd go back to my original big nose with a bit of a hook in it. It looked great." [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal has been visiting Redmond O'Neal every week in rehab. "Redmond and Ryan are working on their relationship. Both of them are working towards a positive and healthy father and son relationship," says a source. [Radar Online]
• In the 911 call David Hasselhoff's daughter Hayley made on Thanksgiving weekend she says: "My dad just ... he's collapsed. He's standing up but he keeps falling back down ... But then he got back up and he's fine. It's kind of scaring me." [People]
• Nicole Kidman says she likes to focus on her health rather than how much she weighs. "As Keith's a musician there are pitstops at Wendy's" she says, "But I'm six-foot tall, so it's not weight that's an issue for me, but things like cholesterol." [People]
• In the 911 call made when Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack was taken to the hospital from LAX last month, the caller says he "stopped breathing" but they "revived him." [TMZ]
• Bob Geldof attacked the U.K. family court for conducting "state-sanctioned kidnap" by holding closed custody hearings, adding: "In the near future the family law under which we endure will be seen as barbaric, criminally damaging, abusive, neglectful; harmful to society, the family, the parents and the children in whose name it purports to act." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand says it was easy for him to win over Katy Perry's parents because, ''They love the old school Englishness. There's a thing where the mom said 'Nothing's impossible', and I went, 'well, of course, Nelson Mandela said that everything is impossible until it's done', and she went, 'Oh', and she really enjoyed that... Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought, 'well, this has got a huge scope for disaster' but it's actually been quite good so far." [The Telegraph]
• Justin Bobby, Speidi, Kristin Cavallari, and Audrina Patridge will be back for The Hills sixth season according to an MTV spokesperson. [People]
• Mel Gibson's estranged wife Robyn Gibson has filed court papers requesting to see copies of his Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild health and pension plans. [Radar Online]
• Travis Barker has settled his lawsuit against defendants over the plane crash he was injured in. [TMZ]
• Celine Dion says she's going to keep trying IVF even though it turned out she wasn't pregnant this summer. "We have a wonderful child, we're extremely happy," she said. "It's not like, 'Oh my god, she's not pregnant and she's depressed,' " she continues. "You know how it works. We are great. We hope for the best, we hope to get pregnant. If it happens, it happens." [People]
• Shakira says she owes her success to her parents taking her to the park to show her kids worse off than her on the day they declared bankruptcy. "That day I made myself a promise," she said. "I promised that I would someday succeed to vindicate my parents' social and economic position. But I also wanted to do something about those kids I saw so abandoned by the state, abandoned to their own luck, without any chances to change their destinies." [CNN]
• When asked how she got into character as the grandmother of a dead girl in The Lovely Bones, Susan Sarandon said, "I drank and smoked and partied down. No, I didn't do that. I think I probably had the easiest job of anyone, because I was going against all the really difficult feelings and trying to keep everybody moving forward and remembering to live and letting the light in, literally. Plus, I was always drinking and smoking, so I have lots of props - so it was actually pretty fun." [NY Magazine]
• Sigourney Weaver says of her new film Avatar, "You won't have seen anything like it. This film is going to change the way we look at movies. The whole movie is in 3-D, even normal scenes between two people. So you feel you're in the room with these characters. You're always in the best seat in the house." [The Telegraph]
• Of being called the "Bear Jew" in Inglourious Basterds, Eli Roth says, "Well it's funny because I've always been compared to some sort of animal. On Cabin Fever they called me hair director. On Hostel one of the Czech extras saw me in a tank top and casually referred to me as Gorilka" which is Slovak for gorilla. So from that point on, it was over. Everyone was always, "Where's Gorilka? We need Gorilka on set! There was a girl who nicknamed me wolfie, so I've always been compared to some sort of furry animal. So I just embraced it — and Bear Jew felt like the natural evolution." [N.Y. Post]
• Viggo Mortensen makes a good point about why we shouldn't underestimate Sarah Palin: "I think it would be unwise to dismiss her because she is foolish and misinformed. People say there's no way she will hold any significant office, in Congress, or as president. Don't be so sure. I notice she's starting to sound relatively eloquent in that superficial way she has: ‘We gotta cut taxes and we can't keep penalizing small business'-that same old litany. She's not saying anything significant but she's stringing the words together and she's not just saying, ‘Aw shucks, I just killed a moose in Alaska.' She's stringing the words together as well as George W. Bush did in the beginning... They realized they couldn't make [Bush] sound like somebody who actually read books and cared about how he sounded-even though he had the benefits of the best possible education. It just wasn't interesting to him to sound like he made sense and to speak English anywhere near well. But what they did, very cleverly, is say, OK, he's just like us. He makes mistakes when he says stuff; he's a regular guy. And I can see the same thing happening with Palin. So do not underestimate her ability. She's not going away." [The Daily Beast]

In the clip above, Joy asks Levi if he believes that Sarah Palin loves him, as she said on Oprah. "Sex on Skates" tells it like it is: "You've seen her on TV so you can tell she's fake if you're paying attention." (Exactly!)

Joy tries to get Levi to say whether he and Bristol ever had sex in the Palin home. He refuses, but the answer is written all over his face. (In fact, don't you think they probably did it in Sarah and Todd's bed?):


Levi "I ain't ever seen a gay guy in Wasilla" is open-minded about his gay icon status: "They're people too. It doesn't matter to me. More fans, it's great":


This kid and his handlers really need to hurry up with Levi's Book of Palin Secrets, but they probably don't have a release date yet because they're seeing if Palin will run for President in 2012, when a book like Levi's would get the most traction (and do the most damage.) Every time Sarah Palin drives me nuts (lately, several times per day) I'm just going to remember that Levi has explosive secrets yet to share. I just hope that kid kept a diary.


Here's the Atlantic's Andrew Sullivan, who has been obsessed with - some would say unhinged over - Sarah Palin and the former Governor's uterus for over a year at this point. He continues his line of questioning as to the circumstances surrounding the labor and delivery of Palin's youngest son, Trig. (All political conspiracy theories apparently start in Dallas.) "No one does that," he says of Palin's choice to fly home to Alaska while in labor. "No one ever does that." (We love it when men assert knowledge and mastery over female reproductive systems!) Then, he summons the wisdom of Judge Judy.

Some of Watson's piece is needlessly insulting — she writes that if Palin were "to appear on television or in photographs wearing anything less than serious slap, she would look as if she had just emerged from a crack den (that's the way it goes, particularly if you're 45 and it's before midday)." Some of it just seems inaccurate:

Extreme Republican views, coyote-trimmed down jackets, guns in the glove compartment and plenty of good old-fashioned orange blusher go together like stars and stripes. If Palin were a natural kind of girl - slick of mascara for the school run, bit of tinted moisturiser and lippie for meetings - she'd be a Democrat.

But some of it is sort of interesting. Watson writes,

You either are or you aren't a make-up girl, pretty much from puberty, depending on what your friends are doing and who your role models are (and maybe how much your mother wears), and it is tribal. Right from the word go, girls fall into two camps, and we don't really mix, because the difference between the heavies and the make-up lites is about more than cash outlay, time spent in front of a mirror and whether you like eye shadow - it's a philosophy of life.

Now, I don't agree that "heavies" and "make-up lites" don't mix with one another, and I'm a little bit offended by the assertion that women like this divide because "it gives us an immediate and foolproof way of judging other women." But the simple assertion, "you either are or you aren't a make-up girl" may have some truth to it. I started wearing makeup around eighth grade, and for a short period, I went through a daily regimen of eyeshadow, mascara, and lip gloss. Thing is, I was really, really bad at it. My heavy purple eyeshadow looked like a bruise; my favorite lip gloss, if memory serves, was sort of a gross orange. I finally worked out that I looked like crap, and I retreated to the position I've held ever since: I wear lipstick, and leave it at that.

Part of my aversion to the wider world of makeup has to do with my increasingly sensitive skin (a swollen-shut eye: not hot), part of it has to do with money, but part of it is simply that makeup intimidates me. I don't "get it." Whenever I absolutely have to wear eye makeup (most recently, when I was a bridesmaid), I get someone else to do it. And I stand in awe of women who wear makeup effortlessly and wear it well.

I don't, as Watson implies, judge them — I'm more likely to be, um, jealous of their skills. But I have come to see my "make-up lite" approach as part of my personality. Maybe it's a holdover from my hardcore nerd days, back when I wore flannel — a sort of statement that even though I now care about clothes and fashion, part of my soul still has braces and watches Doctor Who. Or maybe it's the same slightly self-conscious low-maintenanceness that makes me sometimes brag about not owning a hair dryer — not, I recognize, an actual accomplishment. Whatever the case, my makeup habits are about more than a distaste for itchy eyelids, and I'm curious whether those on the other end of the spectrum — "make-up girls" as Watson rather infelicitously calls them, feel the same.

Sarah Palin: A Make-Up Kind Of Girl [TimesOnline]