[Sydney, December 6. Image via Getty]

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - DECEMBER 06: Twenty year veteran children's entertainer and actor Phil Cale chats with a young child during his Santa performance at Stanhope Gardens Shopping Centre on December 6, 2009 in Sydney, Australia. Phil Cale is commencing his 6th year playing the role of Father Christmas as a professional Santa performer. Straight Down The Line Promotions is one company training and supplying hundreds of Santa's to Australian suburban areas, Phil Cale will see an estimated 4000 children during his 35 day assignment at Stanhope Gardens Shopping Centre this year. (Photo by Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images)

[Hornow, Germany; December 2. Image via Getty]

An employee of a chocolate Santa factory carries trays of freshly made produce in the eastern German city of Hornow on December 2, 2009. The Christmas season is in full swing with markets, lights and trees been set up all over the country. AFP PHOTO DDP / MICHAEL URBAN GERMANY OUT (Photo credit should read MICHAEL URBAN/AFP/Getty Images)

Nubian representatives say that the line compares black Egyptians to monkeys, and are suing the singer, her record label, and the songwriter. • The man charged with the kidnapping of Shaniya Davis has also been accused of raping and asphyxiating the 5-year-old South Carolina girl. Mario McNeill is being charged with first-degree murder and rape of a child. • Amanda Knox broke down in tears today in court as the prosecution closed their case against her, saying she "harboured hatred" for Meredith Kercher and "killed her to take revenge." • Amanda Knox's parents are so confident she'll be acquitted that they've already bought her a plane ticket home to Seattle. •  The British man charged with strangling his own wife on a camping trip was found not guilty on account of a rare disorder, which caused him to murder Christine Thomas in his sleep. "You are a decent man and a devoted husband. I strongly suspect that, not withstanding the circumstances here, you may well be feeling a sense of guilt about what happened that night. In the eyes of the law, you bear no responsibility," said the judge. •  Reporter Michael Crowley sat down in a restaurant the other night and found himself sitting two tables away from Sonia Sotomayor. Naturally, he sent out a Tweet, which read: "She left her purse on a chair; stern-faced security guys came back for it about 30 min later." •  Soldiers in Sweden are fighting for flame-retardant underwear. The Swedish Conscription Council claims that the female soldiers were promised appropriate bras and panties years ago, but the armed forces has failed to deliver. • Selma Aliye Kavaf, Turkey's minister for women's affairs, says, "The mentality change regarding women's participation in business or political life would take time. Legislation or laws are not enough for women to become active in business life." • A dad from Minnesota claims that during the first three years of his son's life, he spoke to him only in Klingon. The dad says it was part of an experiment, to see whether his kid would pick up the fictional language. He says he stopped when it became clear his son, now 15, preferred English. •  Warning: This story is disgusting and highly disturbing. Short version: a gang in Peru has been accused of murdering people in order to collect their fat, which is then sold on the black market for cosmetics. • The highest court in New York has rejected an attempt to throw out two government orders to recognize the rights of same-sex couples married in other states. While this is good news, the ruling was based on a technicality, and did not address the broader human rights issue at stake. • A team of researchers have made headway in understanding how the body metabolizes date rape drugs. They hope that the breakthrough "may provide new clues on how to counteract the drug's effects, or to enhance its metabolism and decrease toxicity for chronic abusers or victims of sexual assault." • A study from the Harvard School of Public Health found a woman's risk of developing multiple sclerosis during her lifetime is doubled if she was obese at age 18. This is the first time MS risk has been linked to obesity. The research was based on the Nurses' Health study, but doctors say "There's no reason to believe that the biological mechanisms would be different." • Ohio State University researchers found that alcoholics over the age of 60 have more than 40 alcoholic drinks a week on average, compared to between 25 and 35 drinks a week on average for younger alcoholics. The findings suggest older alcoholics have developed a tolerance and need to drink even more to get drunk. • A North Carolina doctor could lose his medical license for allegedly poking a patient's thigh and calling her fat and irresponsible for being unemployed and using taxpayer's money to pay for another pregnancy. The doctor admitted he told her that her fat thighs and diabetes could make her go blind. • Could "real" America's love affair with Sarah Palin be coming to a close? In this video an angry mob boos her and calls her a quitter after left a an event in Noblesville, Indiana without signing the books of about 300 families who had been waiting for more than three hours. • A few Indian travel agents are pushing "divorce tourism," package deals designed to help couples salvage their relationship. Viresh Hirjee, chief executive of a Mumbai travel agency, has been sending customers of vacation along with marriage counselors. "We are trying our best to bring the couple together," he said, but warned, "We are not destiny changers." • School officials in Orange County, California warned kids that if they skip school today to see New Moon they'll be marked truant. • The business information analysis firm IBISWorld says that the growing popularity of online dating sites is responsible for Australia's sex industry losing $67.6 million in the past year. "The rapid growth in online services means it has never been easier for like-minded individuals to organize casual liaisons for little or no cost," said IBISWorld analyst Edward Butler. • Barbara Ann Radnofsky, Democratic candidate for attorney general in Texas, says a clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages accidentally banned all marriages in the state. The clause reads: "This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage." Backers of the ban say she's reading too much into the clause for political reasons. • The city of Auckland, New Zealand paid $74,000 to give a 66-foot fiberglass Santa statue a facelift. One of his mechanical eyes had been drooping and people were worried it would scare children. His face has been bandaged and the repairs will be unveiled on Sunday. •

[Arcadia, California; November 7. Image via Getty]

Fans of the horse Zenyatta before the five million-dollar Breeders' Cup Classic race which she won at the Santa Anita racetrack in Arcadia on November 7, 2009. The Breeders' Cup features 14 races worth 25.5 million-dollars over two days and is capped by the five million-dollar Classic. AFP PHOTO/Mark RALSTON (Photo credit should read MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images)

[Sydney, August 5. Image via Getty]

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - AUGUST 05: A group of girls dressed as Santa have fun as she waits for Santas to abseil down the front of Sydney's Four Season's Hotel to launch the Sydney Santa Fun Run on August 5, 2009 in Sydney, Australia. The children's charity Variety are hosting the event on November 29 for which they hope to encourage 5000 Sydney-siders to wear a Santa suit and raise funds for disadvantaged children. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)

[Washington, D.C., December 15. Image via AP]

With Santa Claus looking on, First lady Laura Bush, center, flanked by Dania Jecty, 11, left, and Elmer Reyes, 13, reads a holiday story book to patients and parents at Children's National Medical Center in Washington, Monday, Dec. 15, 2008. Both are patients at the hospital. (AP Photo/Staff)

• Robin Toner, the first female national political correspondent for The New York Times died today at the age of 54. • A study of female sex workers in Cambodia found that women who are new to the sex industry are twice as likely to have gonorrhea or chlamydia. • Death Metal Puppy! (Warning: don't watch this at work without headphones.) • Meanwhile, a woman in Florida is trying to get a zoo to capture and adopt a healthy albino raccoon living in the woods because she fears someone will shoot it. • The Toronto police have charged a 34-year-old woman with making prank phone calls to local parents on December 4, telling them that their child had been sexually assaulted by a school employee. • While in prison in Italy, Amanda Knox recited the famous "to be or not to be" monologue from Hamlet for a small Italian film. • A recent survey found that 46% of women would rather go without sex for 2 weeks than go without Internet access for that amount of time. • An AP probe has found that at least 129 ambulance attendants have been accused of sex-related crimes, on duty or off, for the past 18 months. • A new study reports that men inherit the tendency to have more sons or daughters from their parents. • Shaggy, a reindeer from England, had to be given fake antlers for a Christmas performance after his own antlers fell off three weeks ago. • Staircases for pets have been gaining popularity in response to increased interest in tall, thick mattresses and beds. • The Saudi city of Dammam has held the first privately organized but public forum about divorce reforms to protect Saudi women in the event of a divorce. •

[Image via The Poop]

• After last night's fellatio-esque interview of John McCain, reporters ask Jon Stewart if he's a real journalist and if he should've tried harder to ask a real question. No, and yes. [Comedy Central, Time, Rolling Stone]
  
• No one really cares, though, because Hillary might not actually stay in the race until August. [NY Times]
  
• And there is one economist who agrees with her gas tax plan, but only because this example of blatant electoral pandering is the method of blatant electoral pandering likely to do the least harm of all the harmful ways to blatantly pander to the electorate. [NY Times]
  
• Oh, and some New York Congressman got his mistress pregnant three years ago and has a secret love child and is a drunk driver. Even married Republicans lose when it comes to abstinence-only education. [NY Times]

• That pedophile Interpol was searching for? He was a store Santa from Jersey and found fucking little kids "euphoric." Gross. [Associated Press]
• And some people still buy that shit about Obama being a Muslim. [Wired]
• And some dude used to drug and rape women at his office parties, but the law firm he worked at didn't sack him for it or warn anyone even after 2 women got drugged and reported it. Dudes, don't lawyers know not to fuck with lawyers? [Boston Globe]
• Mark Penn is so dumb that he didn't know about proportional representation in the primaries when Hillary hired him, but she'll still have to pay him the $10 million or so she owes him. Asshole. [HuffPo]
• And, for my girl/fellow alum SarahMC, check out the disaster porn of a mega car crash in Allston right by the Shaws on Comm Ave. [Boston Globe]
• Speaking of disasters, Burma is still fucked. [NY Times]
• And the Prime Minister of Israel has likely been taking bribes from foreigners. [Washington Times]
• God I need a fucking drink.

Tatiana mauled two others, now in stable condition. Last December, Tiger Tat ate the flesh off a zookeepers arm during a public feeding. The terrible tigress didn't survive the holiday — she was shot by police.

And speaking of dead animals, luxury purchases were a bright spot on the otherwise gloomy holiday sales front, rising 7.1 percent, "as the well-heeled splurged on $600 Marc Jacobs trench coats and $800 Christian Louboutin shoes." How nice for them.

Racy Santa Cited for DUI [UPI]
Investigators probe killer tiger's escape at zoo [CNN]
Holiday Spending Is Weak, as Retailers Expected [NYT]