Jezebel
-
Bad Santa
"A Santa Claus was sacked after asking his visitors if they wanted to sit on his lap, despite warnings from his helper elf, it emerged today. Andrew Mondia, 32, had been hired by Selfridges as one of their troupe of Santas dishing out Christmas cheer and presents in the London store's grotto. But he claims he was sacked after only three days on Monday after a grandmother complained that he had invited her to sit on his lap…Mondia had also been warned by his helper elf several times that he should not ask clients to sit on his knee, they said." Ho Ho Ho, indeed. [The Guardian]
-
news roundup
The "And You Thought Yesterday Was Bad" Edition
- After last night's fellatio-esque interview of John McCain, reporters ask Jon Stewart if he's a real journalist and if he should've tried harder to ask a real question. No, and yes. [Comedy Central, Time, Rolling Stone]
- No one really cares, though, because Hillary might not actually stay in the race until August. [NY Times]
- And there is one economist who agrees with her gas tax plan, but only because this example of blatant electoral pandering is the method of blatant electoral pandering likely to do the least harm of all the harmful ways to blatantly pander to the electorate. [NY Times]
- Oh, and some New York Congressman got his mistress pregnant three years ago and has a secret love child and is a drunk driver. Even married Republicans lose when it comes to abstinence-only education. [NY Times]
- After last night's fellatio-esque interview of John McCain, reporters ask Jon Stewart if he's a real journalist and if he should've tried harder to ask a real question. No, and yes. [Comedy Central, Time, Rolling Stone]
-
Nothing warms our hearts quite like the sight of seeing Santa shilling Lucky Strike cigarettes. [Vintage Ads]
-
jingle balls
Christmas 2007: Drunk Stripper Santas, Shitty Sales, Deadly Tiger Rampages
It's not just you! The polls are in, and this Christmas was officially a disappointment. Sales were "bleak", the streets were violent, and in the U.K. a man stuffed his wife's dead body under the tree before killing himself. Uplifting! So here's a news tidbit to be thankful for: in Los Angeles, a "beefy" dude wearing a seriously modified Santa getup replete with purple G-string was booked on a DUI charge yesterday. According the the UPI, the Santa in question was 6-foot-4, 280-pound Rick Carroll, who, in addition to sporting the G-string, was clad in black leg warmers, a blond wig, and a red lace camisole. A L.A. county sheriff told the press, "He had to sober up and find his own reindeer." Zing! In slightly less amusing news, an escaped tiger named Tatiana killed one person at the San Francisco Zoo yesterday. More » -
I Saw Mommy Groping Santa Claus
A Connecticut woman has been arrested for sexually assaulting a mall Santa. According to CBS News, Sandrama Lamy "touched [Santa] inappropriately while sitting on his lap." Not really surprising that the perp's name is "Sandrama" — doesn't that sound like a contraction of "Santa drama"?? Her Santa molesting was fated! [CBS News]
-
Fashion Week Daily, the US Weekly of the fashion industry, has the perfect suggestion for that extra-special someone: A 1 lb. chocolate Santa with a butt plug! No, it's only a tree, but to us, it looks more naughty than nice. (Click on tag to enlarge) [Fashion Week Daily]
-
-
Sydney Santas have been barred from chanting the customary "Ho, ho, ho" this Christmas, as the Santa recruitment firm Westaff has deemed the phrase frightening to children and possibly "derogatory towards women". The Aussie trainees have been told to replace "Ho, ho, ho," with "Ha, ha, ha." Mall Santas are up in arms about the censoring. Two potential Santas even quit the training course because they felt so oppressed. Sydney mom Maybel Lopez told the Daily Telegraph, "It's what Santa has been saying his whole life - my whole life. It is just a normal thing really for him to say 'ho, ho, ho'." Wonder what David Sedaris thinks of this? [NEWS.com.au]
-
Poor Santa Claus. Here's an, ahem, full-figured icon who is being told he has to lose weight as a result of his presence in the public eye! Apparently his jiggly tummy is setting a bad example for all the little kiddies who still believe in him! Due to the obesity crisis in England, retailers there have taken to setting up Santa "boot camps," showing creepy fat men in red crushed velvet suits doing jumping jacks and the like, allowing the children out shopping during the Christmas season just how important fitness is to ol' Saint Nick. Isn't it even freakier to see Santas doing obstacle courses than it is to see small children crawling into the laps of bearded men they don't know — for a photo op? [Daily Mail]
- 1
1-8 of 8 for "Santa"
