Sanjaya - Jezebel

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Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
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Treeless
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
Gender identification and sexual orientation often correlate in the most common ways, but sometimes they don't. This is why you can have a married straight-identified man friend who finally realizes he was born to be a woman and take those steps . . . and not want to be with men. He'll just become a transgendered lesbian.

Sanjaya could be a feminine-identified straight man enjoying pastimes that are debatably "female", as dictated by culture perhaps more than or equal to biology. Only Sanjaya will know if he's gay as the day is long.
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Hana Maru
06/17/09

@Treeless: I agree. And I don't think Sanjaya sounds at all confused about his orientation. He seems secure with his identity and interests, despite what other people try to put on him. I wish more straight men felt as comfortable knitting or doing hair.
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Trulymadlyme
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
Sanjaya could just be kinda slutty. Like Marget Cho.
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MarissaExplainsItAll
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
"I make a really good gay best friend, but I don't like guys, so it confuses people."
Does this mean that Tracie likes girls? I NEED A UNIFORM RULE FOR THESE KIND OF THINGS!
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Cerridwen
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
You know, he's probably still just figuring some shit out. It may be something he legitimately has not accepted about himself yet. The kid is only 19. Or, he may actually be straight and just not act like the "typical" straight guy. People are varied and different. Yay for rejecting stereotypes!
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Eric Northman is mine
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
What's this strange obsession with wanting to know people's identities and put them in a box. Same goes for race, class, political affiliation. It's almost as though some people need to know where you fall in order to determine how they can/will act around you.
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Spaceman Bill Leah
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
I can't do hair OR knit. Does than mean I'm really a man?
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Penny
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
Also, I don't know one gay dude who does hair and knits.
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EsmereldaFitzmonster
06/17/09

@Penny: Good point, me neither!
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labeled
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
Hmm. Maybe he has gender identification issues, rather than sexuality issues.

If so, introduce him to the fabulous Eddie Izzard, stat.
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nex0s
06/17/09

@labeled: Why? Because he knits or will wear eyeliner?

My husband sews like a maniac - much better than I do - makes all his own vests and is working on making trousers and shirts now... He works in fashion, wears jewelry, and as a college aged goth wore eye make up. So he's gay? That's just feeding into stupid gender types on both sides. It's idiotic. It's like saying Rahm Emannuel has gender ID issues because he was a ballet dancer, or that I have them because I like to build things (with power tools and everything) and prefer men's jeans over women's.
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labeled
06/17/09

@nex0s: Your point is well-taken. Frankly, I just wanted to offer something other than "He must be gay."
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labeled
06/17/09

@labeled: to clarify: because there seems to be a lot of that going on in this post/thread.
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labeled
06/17/09

@nex0s: He works in fashion, wears jewelry, and as a college aged goth wore eye make up. So he's gay?

dammit, one more reply, but note that trans-gendered does NOT equal gay.
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Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
06/17/09

@nex0s: She was just offering an explanation, not making a judgment about all the men who display qualities that associated, by society, with women.

It is possible that he has gender identity issues, it is also possible that he is gay and it is also possible that he is straight and merely exhibits traits often attributed to women.

To be honest Sanjaya's case doesn't sound like your husband. Sanjaya is a single 19 year old who was asked very publicly on a reality TV show if he was gay. That causes there to be different interpretations than if I just met your husband and assumed he was gay because he likes to sew.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
06/17/09

@labeled: I think nexOs is offering you a choice: cake... or death?!
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Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
06/17/09

@AtomiClash: and we're all out of cake.
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labeled
06/17/09

@Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: Well, I suspected that would happen, at the rate we've chosen cake.

Pasta alla arrabiata, maybe?
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
06/18/09

@labeled: I didn't realize there would be such a run on cake...
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labeled
06/18/09

@AtomiClash: Anddddd, youtube here I come.
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JinxyMcDeath
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
One more thing...my straight gay best friend growing up is now...GAY. Actually, he was always gay - he just finally admitted it to himself. He's been in a very, loving, very serious relationship for many years now and we laugh and laugh about his multiple prior girlfriends.
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rumpelshowsskin
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
Things like this make my heart hurt because I know a lot of guys like Sanjaya and who are in a 25 and under age group and who feel tremendous pressure to be gay even though they like pussy. I'm not saying he's straight. He might very well not be. I'm just saying that if he is I can see how hard it must be for him to constantly have to be explaining this to both women and men. I think particularly for guys like him who are absolutely non-homophobic (and so usually have a bunch of gay friends or a group of friends that includes a lot of gay guys) it makes it even harder for them to explain what they are.
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sequined
06/17/09

@rumpelshowsskin: Pressure to be gay? Like because of his interests and friends, you mean? That's so interesting; I've never heard of that before.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
It's the asexuality before the storm. Really I don't give a shit, but ten bucks says he'll declare himself 'bi' in a month.
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nex0s
06/17/09

@HeatherNumber1: Um, and why does bi get quotes around it? Bi men don't exist? Bi women don't?
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
06/17/09

@nex0s: No, they exist, but virtually every gay guy I know declared himself bi at first, if only for a day. Some started with asexuality (and again, that exists too, for some people). It was a way of testing the waters.
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JinxyMcDeath
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
My gaydar goes off the charts with that one...but he could be bi...or, how about this, we could not label him? Just a suggestion.

Quite frankly, I feel bad for him being in his 20s and not knowing his sexual identity - or at least, who he's attracted to. Maybe that's just the "I've always liked guys from a very young age" in me.

I know some people don't come out until later in life and I feel bad for those people, too. I have had at least TWO friends divorce and come out as lesbians - and I'm still in my 20s. It pains me to see them go through that struggle and heartache - but at least they're young enough to still live their lives comfortable with who they are.

Bottomline: Sanjay has come off as a very sweet and endearing person on that show. That's all that matters.
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JinxyMcDeath
06/17/09

@JinxyMcDeath: I didn't realize he was 19...this makes more sense now...
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nex0s
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
I dunno. I get this. My husband is totally the straight gay guy of a lot of his girlfriends. It's definitely a stereotype about gay men though. But lemme tell you, he LOVES to go shopping - I like to shop and I get tired before he does! He has great taste in women's clothes - I really learned how to dress well for my body after being with him for a while. He totally knows what looks good on a woman if it's hair, make up, whatever. I mean, part of it is that he's a photographer - but it was there earlier too. He loooooves to gab on the phone, and get coffee and cake and talk about boy problems. He loves fashion, more than I do. He's definitely more "girly" in these things than I am.

And then he fucks the hell out of you with his great big cock. It's really the best of both worlds....

The shame here is that people feel a need to genderize these activities. Only women like to shop! And if a man likes to, then he's gay! And if he's not, then he's "weird" or "secretly gay". He can't be good at building stuff *and* shopping. Which means that people are shocked that I am the one in the r'ship who puts together all the media units and am the geek in the household regarding computer stuff.

Know what I mean?
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nyc-caribbean-ragazza
06/17/09

@nex0s:

Is he european?

I kid.

But I do notice that here straight men will dance with each, kiss each other on the cheek when saying hello/good bye, older men walk arm in arm and it's no biggie. Men are a lot more affectionate here with each other and women. Why is that?
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PersonalBest
06/17/09

@nyc-caribbean-ragazza: Mine is! And he kisses all of his male friends, dances with them too.
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attilathehoney
06/17/09

@nex0s: Alex from the Real Housewives? Is that you?
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nyc-caribbean-ragazza
06/17/09

@PersonalBest:

The first time I went to a club in Rome with a straight male friend, I was astounded to see all the guys jump up when, Bob Sinclair's "World Hold On" came on.

Saying good bye to my friends takes a good half hour with all the double kissing and ciaos/buona seratas.
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EsmereldaFitzmonster
06/17/09

@nex0s: My gay roommate is what you would call stereotypically straight, so why can't a straight guy be what we would call stereotypically gay? It's a personality thing, not a sexuality thing.
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LaFemme
06/17/09

@nyc-caribbean-ragazza: @nex0s: I dated an Italian in the fashion industry for several years. Double whammy.

He actually wasn't super effeminate, though he did have an appreciation for womens clothing and hair/makeup. He liked to buy me things and would be very understanding of my wanting to have the right outfit, or questioning my hairstyle. He could definitely hold his own in a group of women. For himself he was a little "I make fashion, I don't follow fashion" (insert a sniff, sniff here) and so wasn't big on shopping and basically wore a uniform of jeans and a (tightish) t shirt and nice accesories. He did love to dance though, and kissed everyone, though that is totally normal.
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zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce
06/17/09

@Eric Northman is mine: but if i don't know what to label you how shall i know how treat you?

/sarcasm. obvs
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ozu
06/17/09

@nex0s: I'm curious why you chose to contrast his traditionally "feminine" interests with the phrase "great big cock". As if genetic predisposition towards the size of one body part makes him more manly or virile.

I'm probably reading too much into that comment.
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Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
06/17/09

@ozu: No your not. That phrase really bothered me to. The sentence about him fucking her bothered me. Who cares.
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Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
06/17/09

@Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.: I meant, who cares that he is fucking her with his big cock. It's alright to say, "He's not gay" I don't need a description of what he does in the bedroom.
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rednrowdy
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
him and lou should be on their own show.
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LadyFabulous
06/17/09

In reply to Sanjaya Explains His Sexual Orientation
I hope one day that society's curiosity with people's sexual identities/proclivities/orientations/etc. will not matter.
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wtfox?!
06/17/09

@LadyFabulous: I would like this day to be... tomorrow. Can it be tomorrow?
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LadyFabulous
06/17/09

@wtfox?!: If I find a magical genie, that will be my first wish!
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attilathehoney
06/17/09

@LadyFabulous: Sorry guys I will always be interested in people's sexual proclivities. I am a curiosity-machine.
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LadyFabulous
06/17/09

@attilathehoney: There is nothing wrong with simple curiosity, but I think the giant publicity machine behind it is tiresome and ridiculous. I just think it gets more attention than is necessary and that attention could be better served else where.

It's not going to change my life if I know whether so-and-so likes boys or girls or both or neither, ya know? The curiousity is natural, but the level it's come to is what really bothers me.

Btw: <3ed because you have a Clone High icon!
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