[New York, November 3. Image via INF]

• OMG! Project Runway's Tim Gunn will host the red-carpet arrivals at the official Academy Awards pre-show? Genius. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts and Entertainment Weekly's Jess Cagle will join him. Excellent. Carry on! [Variety]

• Prince is having an late-night Oscar bash, and Prince has decided that Prince will perform. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh dear: An L.A. woman has filed a $4 billion class action lawsuit against Miley Cyrus, claiming the Disney teen knowingly mocked Asians in a recent photo. Shit, meet fan. [TMZ]
• Margaret Cho thinks Miley Cyrus is "a disgrace." [Perez]
• Did you see Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman last night? You'll find what happened in the dictionary under "trainwreck." (Or at the link here.) [Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood]
• Post-steroid-scandal, Alex Rodriguez "ran right home to [wife] Cynthia," which has pissed off Madonna. She's telling A-Rod that her dalliance with Jesus Luz is just a publicity stunt; Rodriguez says he needs to salvage his career. According to this piece, "Now that he's unable to focus all his attention on Madonna, she only wants him more." [Gatecrasher]
• Holy crap: Michael Jackson has some kind of MRSA-type skin infection, like a flesh-eating virus or a staph infection, and it is sad and horrifying. Plus, from the looks of this picture, it hurts. [The Sun]
• Prince Harry has been formally disciplined after being caught on video calling a fellow soldier a racial slur. He will attend an equality and diversity course, and the incident will go on his permanent record. [Mirror, Guardian]
• What is the deal with George Clooney and Benazir Bhutto's 26-year-old niece, Fatima? Pakistan is "besotted" by their "affair." [Independent]
• Clooney's rep says the rumor that Clooney is dating Fatima is false. [WowOwow]
• Lily Allen had a "secret show" last night in New York, and in addition to material from her new album — the bouncy "Fuck You" and stuff from her old CD ("Smile") she covered Britney's "Womanizer." While singing about blow jobs, she "gulped wine" on stage. [Rolling Stone]
• Nicolette Sheridan is packing up her stuff and leaving Wisteria Lane; she will no longer be on Desperate Housewives. [Extra]
• Mary-Kate Olsen looks high fashion freaky in her pictures for the March issue of Interview; she tells the mag about differentiating herself from her sister: "We've always been very different. And we've always had the same goals… At a certain point, we probably just started to vocalize it. When we decided to go to college, we figured we'd be able to take a break and just figure out what we wanted to do and what we loved… just by being able to step away from the work world." [ONTD]
• Queen Latifah was on a bus tour of Newark, N.J. yesterday to promote options that will help homeowners avoid foreclosures. [UPI]
• Had Rihanna been working on a song about murdering a cheating partner before she was attacked by Chris Brown? [The Sun]
• Chris Brown is currently holed up at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Except that this report says Chris Brown and Rhianna are both in L.A. Oh, and don't click this link unless you want to read a whole lot of bullshit speculation about how Rihanna maybe hit Chris first and "Lamborghini's [sic] have small cabins that are hard to maneuver in. Brown, who would have been driving, could have used his teeth as a weapon to defend himself against Rihanna's flailing." [Fox 411]
• Sigh, there is a delay in the Chris Brown case. The D.A spokesperson says: "It's our understanding the LAPD won't return the case to us this week. Once we get it, we will review it again to determine if there's a case." Wait, what? [People]
• Here's a better explanation of whether Chris should be charged with criminal threats or the lesser charge of domestic battery. [TMZ]
• Cops will reinterview Chris Brown and Rihanna again soon. [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's wardrobe stylist says: "Chris is all right. He's a good kid. He feels very bad that something like this has happened." Ugh! Passive talk. He feels bad "something happened" or he feels bad about what he did? [People]
• Leona Lewis denies involvement in the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. [Daily Mail]
• When asked by paparazzi about Chris Brown, Terrence Howard said: "Chris is a great guy. He'll be all right." Now he says: "When they asked me about Chris Brown the other day, I was in no way aware of what he had been accused of. Had I known, I would have never had said something so insensitive." Seriously dude? Put down the baby wipes and pick up a newspaper or something. [E!]
• Clive Owen continues to promote his film and charm the underpants off of us. [CBS News]
• Drew Barrymore says Adam Sandler was her favorite on-screen kiss. "It was really innocent and unsalacious." [Mirror]
• Whoa: Nicolas Sarkozy proposed to Carla Bruni within two hours of meeting her. [Daily Mail]
• Groan: Sports Illustrated cover moddle Bar Refaeli ate cheeseburgers and ice cream before her shoot and did not work out. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Sean Penn be in a Three Stooges biopic? [Page Six]
• Balthazar Getty's exit from Brothers & Sisters will be "shocking." Spoilers all there if you click the link. [E!]
• Sam Shepard pled guilty to DUI and speeding from that bust last month in Illinois — he had a .175 blood alcohol level. Drunkety drunk drunk drunk. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson has a stripper pole in her bathroom and a spy says: "She's so proud of it. She was laughing and giddy like a kid when the thing was installed! She holds on with both her arms and flips her legs into the air. It's kind of amazing and totally sexy." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Francis is no longer on house arrest. He's free to go wild. [TMZ]
• Steven Seagal wants Costa Rica to have a filmmaking industry. "Costa Rica has everything — both rain forest and dry climate. What it lacks is an infrastructure to make movies," he said in a news conference. Send us plane tickets and let us judge for ourselves! [Reuters]
• Akon has a Chevron gas station in his backyard. [The Life Files]
• Blind item! "Which pro athlete's actress-girlfriend is going to be less than pleased when she discovers he's sleeping with college girls on the side?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Any actor who starts taking 'sex symbol' seriously or thinks of themselves as a sex symbol has got some serious problems. When I'm in my normal life I care very little about how I look. Sometimes I have to dress up when I'm making movies, but that's not me when I'm just hanging around. I don't mind looking like I need a good wash and a good meal. There's no vanity about my character and I think that's real. His absolute obsessive passion is trying to bring a bank down. He doesn't care how he looks. So I just stopped shaving and left it to the make-up people to make sure I looked bad in every scene." — Clive Owen. [Mirror]
• "I had to be chained to the ceiling with a hood over my head, in my boxer shorts, being hosed down by a soldier, with cold air fans blowing on me. I wouldn't recommend being tortured by Samuel L Jackson. He seems to enjoy it a little too much." — Michael Sheen, who filmed Unthinkable with Jackson. [Telegraph]
• "She's so different from me. She's so focused on the outside. She just loves clothes and she just loves life, and she wants to make the world more beautiful. How often do you read a comedy script with a woman in the lead, and she's actually a flawed, deluded character? And I was able to do physical comedy. It was a dream role." — Isla Fisher on Rebecca Bloomwood, her Shopaholic character. [USA Today]
• "The people who are the most beautiful are those who do what they love to do – who have love in their lives, and laugh a lot, go to good movies, read good books, and have great sex. A guy who's a chauvinist I'm not interested in. Any good man knows women are much smarter than men." — Carla Gugino, to Women's Health. [People]
• "We very rarely talk but when we do, it sure makes me laugh. She's one of the funniest ladies I know and I hold huge amounts of love and respect for her. She's my big sister. Things were wild during the years I was with her in the band and she's one of the wildest creatures I've ever met, but I have my own personal perception of her. There's nobody else like her. I feel like there should be a review of the great stuff that Hole and Courtney put out there. I would support that because I feel it's important to pass on to women of future generations." — Melissa Auf der Maur on Courtney Love. [ONTD via Spinner]
• "When you look at someone like Jessica [Simpson], I don't know if she gained weight, but it's all I've heard about. I'm looking for someone with a great voice, but if someone is 50 pounds overweight, I have to tell them the reality - that it might hold them back." — American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. [MSNBC]

[Berlin, December 8. Image via Flynet]

• Madonna is divorced. A judge ruled on "Ciccone, M.L. v. Ritchie, G.S." today and the case was a "quickie," an uncontested divorce. Neither Madonna nor Guy Ritchie attended the hearing, which lasted barely a minute. Her Madgesty is single again! Think she'll get hitched to A-Rod? [Yahoo News]
• Oh snap! Madonna just had drinks with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn. [Page Six]
• A source says don't believe what you read about Guy being a gentleman and not taking a penny from Madge. He's getting a "huge pay day." [Perez Hilton]
• Friends of Madonna's are not surprised that the divorce went through so quickly. "It’s not fair to Guy, to the kids, to drag it out for any reason," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Ashlee Simpson gave birth to a baby boy last night, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yeah, Bronx. And yeah: Mowgli. Urban Decay Jungle Book Wentz. [People]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have been "fighting like cats and dogs," says a source, and may be in couples therapy. Work it out, ladies! [Page Six]
• Whoa, a kid almost died on the set of 30 Rock when an out-of-control taxi smashed into the street where the show was filming and everyone had to dive out of the way. [Page Six]
• Shia LaBeouf's wrecked truck was on eBay, but barely anyone bid on it. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. His name is now Mikaeel. It might be so that he can legally wear a burka in court and no one can stare at his skin. [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson Mikaeel is due in court next week to defend claims that he owes Sheikh Abdullah $7 million. May Allah be with him! [Guardian]
• Ooh, more soundbites from Britney's new documentary: "Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird… I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day… It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way… It's bad. I'm sad." [She breaks down into tears.] [EW]
• Britney on why she let "bad people" into her life: "Because I was lonely." [People]
• Twilight star Robert Pattinson was asked, "What is all this talk about you not washing your hair for months on end?" He answered: "People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that. But, yeah, if it doesn't look dirty, why wash it?" Darling, it looks dirty. Get some Pantene Pro-V up in there. [USA Today]
• America's Next Top Model winner McKey says: "I was freaking out at the second CoverGirl commercial. I almost had a nervous breakdown. They only show a little bit of it, but Christian was fixing my makeup and I was like, 'Christian, I'm freaking out right now. I might have a nervous breakdown. I haven't had a nervous breakdown in forever. I'm going crazy. Why am I here?'" Because you look like a model, maybe? [E!]
• Leonardo DiCaprio attended a "preview screening" of a music video starring ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen because he's friends with the director, who is Kevin Connolly. Hollywood's a small town. [People]
• Uh, are Leo and Kate Bosworth an item???? [Star]
• Leo told this paper: "So much of my life has been spent on some far-off movie location and so little of it has been lived normally. I want to get married and have children." [Mirror]
• Hollywood is a small town, take 2: Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Reba McEntire, Sylvester Stallone, Magic Johnson and Barry Bonds are involved in the lawsuit between North and South Beverly Park homeowners. It's like the Sharks and the Jets! [LA Times]
• Here's more on that turf war between the North and the South. [TMZ]
• Apparently Brit TV host Jonathan Ross told Gwyneth Paltrow he "would fuck her" and the BBC has called that "gratuitous and unnecessarily offensive." Think so? [Guardian]
• A critic says Baz Luhrmann made a "big, big mistake" in casting Nicole Kidman as proper English dame Lady Sarah Ashley in Australia: Melanie Reid says Kidman is "one of the most overrated actors" in the world and who has "been the kiss of death in practically every movie she has starred in." There's more! "Kidman is exquisitely accomplished at being awful," Reid writes. "She can't act. Instead she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I'm-looking-interesting blue eyes." Ouch! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Ugh, someone asked Nicole Kidman if she was pregnant again. "No, I just have a little tummy," she said. "My god, I just had a baby four months ago – give me a break!" She added: "I think I've always had a little tummy, though, it runs in the family. My sister does, my mum does, my grandmother did… We affectionately refer to it as the 'little tummy.'" Fascinating. [People]
• Glenn Close didn't get the part of Elvira in Scarface because she wasn't slutty enough? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus let her boyfriend attend the casting for her new video, and a source says "Justin wanted to pick a guy that looked the most like him." WTF. [E!]
• Apparently the clip of Justin Timberlake dancing with Beyoncé on SNL has been yanked from YouTube due to music clearance issues. Dammit. Not fierce, Sasha. Not fierce. [LA Times]
• Angelina Jolie might not get nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Changeling, even though Ted Casablanca thinks she should. [E!]
• Rihanna's new tattoo: "It's tribal," she says. She got it in New Zealand, and it's Maori-inspired. "It's their traditional way of tattooing. I always wanted [one]. It hurt like hell!" [People]
• ABC has killed three shows: RIP Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money. [EW]
• Your friend Kanye West began his concert in Germany by having the crowd wait tow hours and then running on stage and shouting, "I really need some pussy tonight!" [The Sun]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard says all he's ever wanted to do is be all around the most beautiful women in the world. "I'm sorry I'm shallow like that, I'm a man." [Perez Hilton]
• Lance Bass is glad Julianne Hough has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: "She was the one I was scared of the most," he says. [People]
• Is Julianne Hough retiring from DWTS? "I'm not gonna be back next season," she says. "I really, really want to focus on the music and, ya know, be taken seriously a little bit. And I think it’s hard to be on [the show] and be singing." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon looks like a small town checkout girl on the cover of Parade. [Just Jared]
• Reese told Parade: "Family is all we have in life, but I don't know how I feel about marriage. Obviously, I'm not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again." For some reason this prompted this paper to run the headline "I'm Not Ready To Marry Jake." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger's family issued a statement to say that a new book about the star contains "gross inaccuracies, false allegations and many incorrect and unsubstantiated comments." The unauthorized bio, written by a journalist, claims Ledger was mentally ill. [News.com.au]
• The world is weird: Shaquille O'Neal is on Twitter. [Observer]
• Holly Madison says she's wearing less makeup now and P. Hilton says she's lying through her fake teeth. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris Hilton went out without Benji Madden and "looked distraught and completely lonesome." Sniff. [People]
• As for Benji, he is not talking about the split. [E!]
• Have you seen Rosie O'Donnell's video response to Barbara Walters? [Perez Hilton]
• Fox's Roger Friedman says Rosie will get the last laugh, because her live variety show "should be an enormous hit." It's family-friendly and positive in its celebration of Broadway, New York, and the arts. Plus comedy is what Rosie excels at. [Fox 411]
• Michael Phelps: The new spokesperson for Subway sandwiches. Do you want him on whole wheat? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Michael Phelps off the market? He flew to Birmingham to see former Miss Alabama, Doree Walker, and they went to dinner and then to the zoo the next day. Roar. [MSNBC]
• New Lost trailer! And Sawyer and Juliet are holding hands. For like a split second. [E!]
• Josh Brolin, who plays Harvey Milk's assassin in Milk, says the story of Milk made him cry. [UPI]
• If you can understand this kerfluffle surrounding Bianca Jagger's lost ring and bankruptcy and an Austrian building magnate named Reinhard Ringler, please explain. [Daily Express]
• John Malkovich is making a documentary about the plight of migrant children who cross illegally into the U.S. It will be produced by Canana Films, a production company owned by Mexican actors Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. [AP]
• Christina Ricci, Rosie Perez and Arsenio Hall will voice characters in The Hero of Color City, an animated film about a group of crayons that band together to stop a tyrant from robbing their world of color. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie "Jordan" Price in her underwear again, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Did New Kids On The Block's Donnie Wahlberg out suspected gay Jonathan Knight? [Perez Hilton]
• It's official: Jean Claude Van Damme hits on young female reporters. [23/6]
• John Cleese, 69, is dating a 27-year-old named Barbie. [The Sun]
• The headmistress of Oprah Winfrey's girls' school in South Africa, Nomvuyo Mzamane, has dropped her suit against The Huffington Post and a blogger she claimed falsely harmed her reputation. [Portƒolio]
• When it comes to cash, Bruce Willis is a die hard, heh: He invested $2 million in a Malaysian technology company and then withdrew his cash; they still owe him $900,000 and he's filed a court complaint. [AP]
• Former Senator Fred Thompson, who was on Law & Order and then tried running for president, is going back to acting. Anyone want to cast him? [AP]
• Success has made Leona Lewis "really, really lonely." Sad face! [Mirror]
• Linda Hogan was getting $40,000 a month in temporary alimony payments. Now she claims to be broke. She wants a court hearing to talk about getting more cash out of the Hulkster. [Perez Hilton]
• TRL's Damien Fahey has a new job, now that his MTV show is dead: He'll be a special correspondent for Extra. [Page Six]
• "That's debatable in Hollywood. There's the obvious answer: Angelina, for saving the planet with her adoptions and charity work." — Megan Fox, when asked who the Woman of the Year was. [E!]
• "[Four Christmases] is not for your children. It's PG-13. But my family always went to movies on Christmas Day – The Godfather, The Elephant Man. Your typical cheerful holiday fare. It's fun to go to the movies at Christmas and nice to be part of a movie that at least grown-ups and teenagers can see. Plus it means a lot when I get to have experiences where I meet young people and they say, 'You know, this is the movie that got me through a hard time' or, 'This is the movie I watch with my family.'" [Independent]
• "There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it's OK." — Gene Simmons, bruised because his band's not in the Hall of Fame. [Reuters]
• "That would be really exciting if that does happen. I hope it does. There has been some talk about it but I think it's in its very early days. But I'm practicing by dressing as a pirate every day - just in case!" — Russell Brand, on playing Captain Jack Sparrow's brother in the new Pirates Of The Caribbean flick. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I did a photo shoot for her, and she suddenly took off her T-shirt to change into another and I was like, 'Damn!' She was so beautiful, elegant, classy and timeless, and there was something really exotic about it. Very few human beings have been that sexy and desirable. I wanted to say, 'You are sculpted by God.' I was like, wow." — Rosario Dawson on Iman. [Daily Express]
• "Our new president is really a person who came from a place where they told him he couldn’t be something, in a country where no one ever thought that we would see a black president, but now that we have a black president we understand that black people, white people, Asian people, Native Americans, Latinos, no matter what color you are, we all are one. Whatever you want to be you can be in this world. You just have to put your mind to it." — Common, to elementary school students in Georgia. [Concrete Loop]
• "I can drink most men under the table and be fine! And I get louder and giggly. Do I get more affectionate? Who doesn't?" — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]

• Despite mourning her family tragedy, Jennifer Hudson is in the Gap's holiday ad campaign, wearing a bright red sweater and smiling. Gap gave J.Hud the option to back out, but she wanted to go ahead and have the ads run. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jennifer Hudson writes on her MySpace blog: "I want to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Thank You All." [People]
• Beyoncé is on the cover of Seventeen and she certainly appears to have her wits about her. She says she would never get married before the age of 25. "I feel like you have to get to know yourself, know what you want, spend some time by yourself, and be proud of who you are before you can share that with someone else." Plus! She's super critical of herself: "I have my YouTube days, when I watch every performance," she says. "I listen to my music, and I watch my videos to figure out what I need to do, what I need to fix, and how to become a better singer." [People]
• Kate Winslet on her Vanity Fair pix: "The whole shoot was about doing the character. I feel like I was playing the part and not me — it doesn't feel like me. It took six hours to set up the lighting and the hair and make-up, because I obviously don't look like that all the time." [Daily Mail]
• The brother of the American Idol reject who killed herself outside the star's L.A. home is blaming Abdul for crushing his sister's dreams. "[Abdul] didn't speak up for her. She let everyone take her down," Charles McIntyre says. [NY Post]

• Madonna to Gwyneth Paltrow: Shut up! Her Magdesty is sick of Gwynnie saying she's "helping Madonna through her divorce." Madge allegedly told G: "If you want to help me and be supportive of me, then keep your mouth SHUT! Say nothing about me or my divorce." [National Enquirer]
• Madonna needs your help: She's building a school for girls in Malawi. [ET]
• It's official: The Obamas are the new Brangelina. [Politico]
• Barbara Walters did something right in letting Whoopi, Joy, Sherri and Elisabeth quarrel: The View is now the most watched show in daytime, after 12 years on the air. [Variety]
• The "report" about Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson getting married is "not true," according to LL's rep. [MSNBC]
• And here's a story about Sam getting pissed at Lindsay for flirting with some guy in Vegas. "Lindsay says she loves Sam more than anything but she just can't help that she is attracted to the opposite sex," says a spy. [The Sun]
• Oh, and Lindsay and Sam have a bulldog named Cadillac, who is "like their child." [Daily Express]
• Hmm, who's on the list of "Hollywood's Most Overexposed Celebrities"? Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Pamela Anderson, for starters. [Forbes]
• Daniel Craig made a flick called Flashbacks of a Fool which opened October 17, played in two theaters and is already on DVD. It made barely any money, but he's NAKED in it, hello. But Bond's getting all the attention. PS: Bond opens today! [Fox 411]
• Amy Winehouse spotted "on a rampage" and holding a bottle of vodka. Business as usual. [Daily Mail]
• Yikes! Naomi Campbell, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were on the same British Airways flight. Are there planes big enough for all that ego? [Page Six]
• There was a rumor that Blake Lively would be on the cover of Vogue, but it turned out she was on the cover of W instead; now comes word that she will indeed land the cover of the February issue of Vogue. Plus! Michelle Obama for the March issue?? [Fashionista]
• Beyoncé denies that she's the one who leaked a new track written for her by Justin Timberlake. There's audio of JT performing the song online. [Mirror]
• Elton John on Prop 8: "What is wrong with Proposition 8 is that they went for marriage. Marriage is going to put a lot of people off, the word marriage. I don't want to be married. I'm very happy with a civil partnership. If gay people want to get married, or get together, they should have a civil partnership. The word 'marriage,' I think, puts a lot of people off. You get the same equal rights that we do when we have a civil partnership. Heterosexual people get married. We can have civil partnerships."
  [USA Today]
• Rachel Zoe and Nicole Richie: Totally seen talking! Do they no longer hate each other? [Page Six, Perez Hilton]
• Critics aren't sure if Britney Spears will actually be able to make a comeback. One music editor says: "Are they coming to see you because they think a train wreck is about to happen, or because they really like your music?" [Reuters]
• Hilary Duff is coming to NBC in a new, as yet to be determined show. Anyone ever see Material Girls? [Variety]
• Ed Norton plays twins in a comedic thriller; check out this picture of him talking to himself. [EW]
• 90210 spoiler alert: Highlight the hidden text if you want to know: Brenda's gonna die. [Perez Hilton]
• You guys: Russell Brand's flying his girlfriend to New York, because he misses her. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Off-camera catfights! Threatening voicemails! Drama! [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman is a wounded soul, you guys. His mother deserted him and his four older siblings when he was a kid. "I do remember having terrible feelings, mainly of feeling really abnormal," he says. "Divorce wasn't common then and it was uncommon for the mother to leave, and I had a real feeling of embarrassment." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Australia had better be a blockbuster: Hugh Jackman just bought a £14.2 million New York apartment. [Daily Express]
• That commercial Catherine Zeta-Jones was filming in Prague? It's for shampoo. [The Sun]
• Meryl Streep: Starring in LibertyLibrary Cat, a movie about a stray kitty's impact on a town in Iowa. Yeah, a cat. Destined to be awesome? Or awesomely bad? [EW]
• This is an article in praise of Julianne Moore: "Where would we be without her?" [Guardian]
• Eminem's album is being delayed because he's being "obsessive." [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift says she knew about Joe Jonas dating Camilla Belle: "They've been together since we broke up. That's why we broke up — because he met her." Ouch. [Perez Hilton]
• Joe Jonas says: "I never cheated on a girlfriend. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on." Teen angst! [Yahoo News, People]
• Watch this: Yunjin Kim and Daniel Dae Kim on a beachy set, discussing their characters on Lost! [EW]
• Whoopi Goldberg will produce — but not star — in a London stage version of Sister Act. It's sort of a remake, with changes to update the story. [Yahoo News]
• Miley Cyrus's boyfriend still claims to be "just a family friend." Sure, sure. [Perez Hilton]
• Ben Stiller's daughter Ella has playdates with Suri Cruise. Ben's wife, Christine Taylor says: "It's like any other play date. I mean [Suri's] amazing and [Tom and Katie] are terrific. And when little kids get together you just let them do their thing, there's no outside elements. Ella likes being the older sister—and we haven't had many [play-dates] but whoever's children that they're playing with, it's always a great thing to see your kids connecting." [NY Observer]
• The CIA gives "advice" to many Hollywood films, and this story claims "no one is truly sure about the extent of its shadowy involvement." Dun dun dun! [Guardian]
• CSI fans are not happy about William Peterson leaving the show. 37% said they would not watch once Petersen, who plays night shift supervisor Gil Grissom, leaves midway through the season. He's being replaced by Laurence Fishburne. [Reuters]
• Linda Hogan says Hulk Hogan purposely handed over the rights to his Hulk Hogan brands to his best friend Eric Bischoff so she can't get any cash from the profits. Messy stuff. [TMZ]
• Sad face: Benicio del Toro's dad is super sick. BDT flew to Puerto Rico to be with him. [Rush & Molloy]
• A woman who claims Shaquille O'Neal stalked and threatened her has withdrawn her request for a restraining order. Change of heart? Secret settlement? [TMZ]
• Jodi Sweetin, aka Stephanie from Full House, just signed a six-figure deal to publish her addiction memoir. Did playing second banana to the Olsen twins drive her to drugs? [NY Observer]
• Speaking of book deals, Sarah Silverman is writing something and there's a bidding war going on. [Observer]
• Last season it was a tornado; the year before it was a "supermarket standoff" — this year, the Desperate Housewives stunt is a ravaging fire. [Yahoo News]
• Ryan O'Neal and his son have delayed entering pleas in their felony drug cases until after the new year. Attorneys asked the judge for more time to review evidence. [Yahoo News]
• Terrence Howard's mom died in September and he's trying to get back on track.
  "I know that I have been quiet but I had a lot going on," he wrote on his MySpace blog. "But I am slowly pulling it together." [People]
• Whoa: Annie Lennox has two teenage daughters? They went to the preview of the Comme Des Garcons collection for H&M. They's so pretty! [Daily Express]
• Porn legend Heather Hunter convinced a judge to toss out a plagiarism suit; another writer claimed Hunter's novel is a ripoff. The girl's-quest-for-stardom-leads-her-to-porn plot is maybe not that unusual. [NY Daily News]
• Why are people tracking down Elvis's 71-year-old ex-girlfriend? [Guardian]
• The Beatles' former road manager, Tony Bramwell, says: "I have no axe to grind against Yoko. I wanted to let Beatles fans know the real stories about what it was like when Yoko came into John’s life and the problems she caused for the Beatles, their fans, and the staff at Apple." [Daily Express]
• What recession? Lars Ulrich paid $14 million for sold a Jean Michel Basquiat painting yesterday. [Yahoo News]
• Got a tens of thousands of dollars to spend? Photographs of Angelina Jolie, Kate Moss and Britney Spears are up for auction at Christie's. [Telegraph]
• "Money is certainly going to dry up for a lot of people on a lot of fronts, especially in the giving area. But I believe art can survive, it's like grass growing through a crack in the sidewalk. No matter what the economic conditions, art will always survive. I'm hopeful that the more art gets realized as an important factor in the world we live in, more and more people will donate some money and maybe, more importantly, time to the quest." — Robert Redford. [Reuters]
• "I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice. It's me settling into that position of just really accepting that it's one thing to say you want to do it and it's another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan." — ever-humble Kanye West. [USA Today]
• "I'll watch anything with Helen Mirren in it. Especially when she was young. I mean, come on! I love Helen. I watch The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover at least four times a year." - -Samuel L. Jackson. [Daily Express]
• "You could say that being yelled at by Janis Joplin was one of the great honors of my life. […] Janis didn't dress like anyone else, and she definitely didn't sing like anyone else. Janis put herself out there completely, and her voice was not only strong and soulful, it was painfully and beautifully real." — Stevie Nicks. [Rolling Stone]
• "The baby comes wherever I go, and I just like looking at her, watching her breathe. I stand over her crib and watch her breathe. It's pathetic. My mum says I'm over-bonded. I don't care. I'm just very bonded right now." — Nicole Kidman. [USA Today]
• "All of the critics who gave me one star less than full marks should eat shit and die. It’s like your mother knitting you a sweater and you telling her it was only worth seven out of ten. Music is a gift — it shouldn’t get a rating." — Kanye West. [The Sun]
• "I guess I’m lucky. Genetically, I’m like my mum and she looked great right up until her death in 1989. But I think the real secret is that I am very, very happy. I have a wonderful new husband and we’re very compatible. I’m having the best time and I’m in a great place emotionally." — Olivia Newton-John, on why she looks so good. [Mirror]
• "I was inspired to become a citizen of the U.S. by Barack Obama and his vision of the future. Although I missed being able to vote for him on Tuesday, being sworn in as a citizen knowing he is the next president made me so proud. I am now an American. If McCain and [Sarah] Palin had won, I may have stayed in bed." — Alan Cumming, who became an American last week. [Page Six]
• "I'm just going through balancing [living without my mom]. And I always used to have that support system, you know. My mom would be there; no matter what, she was there before everything. We were together for like 30 years. And you know now when I'm on that stage and I look out and I say, 'What am I going to do with the rest of my life?' Like when does a real life start?' Because I have sacrificed real life to be a celebrity and to give this art to people, which is great. It is great that I was able to do that, I'm not trying to shun that in any way, but it's definitely a Catch-22 and it's bittersweet." — Kanye West. [USA Today]

[New York, October 28. Image via Splash.]

• Cloris Leachman was booted off of Dancing With The Stars. "I'm not leaving," she said. "I'm going to get a pretty costume and be here next week. I'm going to sit over there. I can't go home. Are you serious? This is a joke." [UPI]
• Despite at first being told she was too old, Cloris might be Frau Blucher in Young Frankenstein on Broadway! Producer Mel Brooks originally told her she didn't have the "stamina" and said "We're afraid the show could kill [Leachman]. We don't want her to die onstage." [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan on Dancing With The Stars? Just the kind of trainwreckery this country needs. [New York Mag]
• Speaking of Lohans, Lindsay's former bodyguard has settled a lawsuit he filed against her. [TMZ]
• This report claims that Lindsay has lost 14 pounds and is "thinner than ever." Really? She doesn't look the way she did when she was hanging with Nic Rich back in the day. [Boston.com]
• By the by, Dina Lohan calls the reports of a Lindsay/America Ferrera feud on the set of Ugly Betty "just silly." She says: "America's a doll. And they said [Lindsay] brought a posse. It was my mother and myself, and [sister] Ali. It was not a posse. We had sushi and no one trashed the room." Dina does admit: "It was long hours and when you're on a movie set it's a lot different. She's not used to television, but it was fun." [People]
• Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan in a sitcom together??? Sign, apocalypse. [News.com.au]

• BREAKING: Joaquin Phoenix is retiring from show biz. He will be working on his music now. [Extra]
• Here is a photograph of David Beckham ogling cheerleaders. (Again.) [The Sun]
• Is Angelina Jolie "burning up with jealousy" over Brad Pitt's Inglourious Basterds costar, Diane Kruger? She did star with him in Troy. [Star]
• Keanu Reeves and the paparazzo who's suing him took turns on the witness stand yesterday. Reeves told jurors he moved his car forward very slowly to try and get the photog to move out of the way, but never hit him; the photog testified the opposite, saying the car hit his knee. [AP]
• Did Madonna and Guy Ritchie have a marriage contract? In which he promised not to shout at his wife and to devote time to sex? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna has allegedly offered Guy £20million. Of her £300million fortune. Pennies! [Daily Express]
• Hey, look, Guy Ritchie's flick RocknRolla got a good review! [Yahoo News]
• When Angelina Jolie showed up at Monday night's Hollywood Film Festival Awards Gala — where she payed tribute to director Clint Eastwood — it was a total surprise. The A-list crowd reportedly "gasped audibly" when she was introduced. [People]
• At Mary-Kate and Ashley's book signing, there were incredibly elaborate rules one had to abide by, or else! [Racked]
• Here's a liveblog of the book signing. "The paparazzi are shouting 'Mary-Kate!' and 'Ashley!' and people are freaking out." [Racked]
• Oh, and there were PETA protesters outside the book signing, with signs calling the twins "fur hags from hell." [Page Six]
• Watch Britney Spears work out! Warning: Incredibly dull video of Brit repeatedly lifting weights. [MollyGood]
• Amy Poehler will not be replaced on the SNL "Weekend Update" segments; Seth Meyers will go it alone for a while. Because Amy cannot be replaced! [ET]
• First we heard that Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars went to the hospital for unknown reasons. Then we heard it was her appendix. Now she reveals it was something more personal, but her managers wanted her to lie. "It turned out I ruptured a cyst that was on my ovary. My management and the other people around me were trying to think of something else I could say that was wrong with me, but I was like, don't worry. I want to be a good role model." [TMZ]
• Julianne says: "I didn’t know but I have endometriosis. I’ve apparently had it for a long time because I’ve had this pain for about the last five years. I’m just glad I’m taking care of it now because I want to have babies some day." [People]
• Check out Bjork's well-written column about Iceland's financial meltdown. [Times of London]
• Daniel Craig jokes that if the economy's bad, glamorous locations could be dropped from Bond films. "There are plenty of places we could shoot in the British Isles," he says. "If the credit crunch hits the movie business, who knows? Bond in the Lake District, Liverpool… or Birmingham." [Telegraph]
• The case against William Balfour, the primary suspect in the murder of Jennifer Hudson's family, is building quickly. His alibi is falling apart and he was seen carrying a bottle of liquor Friday. [TMZ]
• William Balfour is a felon; he was busted in June for a "rock of cocaine" and served time for a 1999 attempted murder and vehicular hijacking conviction. [AP]
• Jennifer Hudson and her mom were "very close, very tight." Jennifer's mom hosted a block party for the whole neighborhood a few months ago. Jennifer wanted her to move, but, a neighbor says: "She didn't need a bigger house. She didn't need anyone to buy her a new car. She didn't desire or want those things. She was just supportive and stood by her daughter." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson's sister Julia writes on her MySpace: Thank you for your prayers, thank you for posting his picture on your pages as your default picture, thank you… But his lil soul is at ease, I take comfort in knowing that Julian is with my mother and my brother and most of all The Lord and now he's my angel he's protecting me…" [Perez Hilton]
• Rosie O'Donnell on Jennifer Hudson's awful ordeal: "The family tragedy of Jennifer Hudson — no words will do — a grief too hard to comprehend. Guns and domestic violence are a lethal combination — injuring and killing women every day in the United States. A gun is the weapon most commonly used in domestic homicides. In fact, more than three times as many women are murdered by guns used by their husbands or intimate acquaintances than are killed by strangers' guns, knives or other weapons combined. Contrary to many public perceptions, many women who are murdered are killed not by strangers but by men they know." [UPI]
• Coldplay dedicated a song to Jennifer Hudson at a concert in NJ on Monday night. [Perez Hilton]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than anyone else on The View, says Whoopi Goldberg. Well, no one wants to see anything happen to Joy! [Page Six]
• Jerry "Turtle" Ferrera and Jamie Lynn Sigler — Meadow from The Sopranos: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Peter Andre, husband of Kate "Jordan" Price, is in L.A. Alone. Don't know what it means. [The Sun]
• Poor Paris Hilton. She used to get paid to show up at clubs, sometimes $100,000 "appearance fee." The recession has dropped the sum she can get to $40K or less. Tragic! [Daily Mail]
• An Austrian woman allegedly sent more than 100 letters to CSI: Miami star David Caruso, stalked him, asked him for an autograph, and then sent death threats when he refused to give her one. Authorities are looking for her; they've got an international arrest warrant, and officials said she could be hiding in Mexico. Very Special Episode? [Yahoo News]
• Hmm, Hairspray 2? John Waters is in; John Travolta's not. [Perez Hilton]
• Lauryn Hill was spotted taking her kids to see Martha Stewart at a Williams Sonoma store in New Jersey. [Perez Hilton]
• This article states, "A Canadian mathematics professor says he's used his science to solve mysteries about how the Beatles created two unique musical sounds." Someone has a lot of time on his hands! [UPI]
• Headline of the day: "AC/DC blamed for dark economic times in Britain." [News.com.au]
• On the heels of 90210, next comes Melrose Place. Would Heather Locklear come back? [LA Times]
• Half nekkid pix Naomi Campbell at an art show. [Page Six]
• "The thing that gets me the most about this country is that it’s called a “free country” but everyone is a slave to their car. From my place I can walk to my loft, but nobody walks here, everyone has a car. If I walked down there in the evening, I’d be stopped three or four times by someone who thinks I’m a prostitute, inviting me to get in their car. This is why I left the States when I was 22. I saw that I was going to be trapped into buying a car so I could get to work so I could pay for my car, and I thought, that’s not for me. " — Chrissie Hynde. [BlackBook]
• "I didn't come across too well either in the majority of reviews and even with the audiences — people did not respond to it. It was a film that was made to be seen by many people. Not many people saw it and they weren't particularly fond of it, and that was shitty, it was really shitty." — Colin Farrell, on Alexander. [Reuters]
• "Bernie and I were pals. We've known each other for a long time and we had a great relationship… If you had to pick a perfect way to be remembered for an artist, especially a guy like Bernie — the joy that this film has in it, and the kind of love and adoration that people had for him, and the kind of joy he brought people is evident in this film. [The audience] will discover that he can do things that they didn't know he could do, like sing, dance and carry this dramatic arc. I'm always finishing films and looking forward to seeing them, and I know Bernie didn't see this movie. It's kind of like 'wow.' " — Samuel L. Jackson, on Soul Men, Bernie Mac's last film. CNN]
• "I watched kids of differing physical abilities and different backgrounds from around the world lose themselves in imagination and make believe. And I was moved to tears. All I can tell you is that I cried like a baby. I couldn't stop crying." — Mike Myers, on performing at Rusk Institute in The Bronx with Only Make Believe, a theater charity group that puts on plays for young children in hospitals and care facilities. [People]
• "I like to wear formfitting things because I work very hard to keep my gorgeous figure. I’m very happy to show it off and I honestly go to the women’s department often because I know I’ll find very interesting patterns and formfitting clothes. It’s an old rock ’n’ roll trick for guys to shop in the girl’s section. I’ve recently gotten some great things at Miss Sixty, Betsey Johnson and G-Star. In the women’s department, I go for size large and in men’s, I go for small." — Perry Farrell. [BlackBook]
• "For Halloween, I'm going to look like a normal girl, put some bronzer on, some spray tan on and wear some jeans. People will ask me where my costume is! I would never do this in normal life, that's why I'll do it at Halloween. It's a bit funny and people think I'm not wearing a costume but I really am." — Dita Von Teese. [ONTD]
• "How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you’re a dead man? You go to work." — Patrick Swayze. [NY Times]
• "I feel like I’m a pretty normal 22-year-old. An actor friend told me the best way to deal with attention is to exist in the 3 feet around you when you’re out with friends — you can’t be worried about people watching you." — Lauren Conrad [Cosmopolitan]

• OMG! International Herald Tribune fashion critic Suzy Menkes and designer Marc Jacobs have somehow settled their seemingly-insurmountable differences! After their tiff in New York over Marc's really late fashion show, Marc left Menkes a Marc Jacobs T-shirt with a pretty bow on her seat at Louis Vuitton on Sunday. And what was on the T-shirt? A "love letter," says Marc. Coy! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• But! Newsweek writer Dana Thomas, author of new luxury industry expose Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Luster, is now banned from Louis Vuitton after riding them particularly hard in her book about how luxury sucks now that it's all about logo-strewn accessories and crap. Good grief, couldn't LV just laugh all the way to the bank about shit like this? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Says Chloe Sevigny about being the face of the new Chloe fragrance: "I'm concerned that the customers might be confused, though; I have the umlaut in my name while they have the accent. I'm Chloë, not Chloé." Stop. Even if you're kidding? Stop. [Fashion Week Daily]

• Le sigh! Kirsten Dunst is, like, so over getting harassed at fashion shows for being so irresistibly fabulous. Kiki says that "Fashion shows really aren't my forte anymore" but somehow mustered the courage to go to the Chanel show anyway since, like, she was already in Paris. Her verdict? "Hey, it wasn't so bad. Maybe they had better security than other shows." [Fashion Week Daily]
• If you care about what editors think you'll be wearing this spring now that the Spring/Summer 2008 shows haveended (we know — you're thrilled), you can read here. Or you can, uh, just continue to wear whatever the fuck you want. [Vogue UK]
• Samuel L. Jackson: "I love fashion TV... Those of us who are comfortable in our maleness can appreciate fashion." [Vogue UK]
• Michelle Pfeiffer has never tweezed her eyebrows? My ass. [FabSugar]
• MTV is introducing a new online TV show following the lives of up-and-coming fashion designers. as they prepare for the MAGIC apparel trade show in Las Vegas, which is like the Fashion Week of shit people actually wear, not that that makes it any less ridiculous. Stars include renaissance DJ Steve Aoki. [WWD, 3rd item]
• It finally happened: Fashion blog Coutorture got bought out by Sugar Inc., which we hope means a name change to "TortureSugar." [WWD, 2nd item]
• Sex and the City costume designer (and longtime drag queen employer) Patricia Field swears she wasn't trying to shove Carrie Bradshaw-style down all our throats. "I'm just declaring it so. I know I look like I have a crystal ball or gypsy tea, but I don't." [WWD, 4th item]
• You know what irritates us even more than a brand getting celebrities to design a limited-edition version of a product? When a brand gets celebrities to design a limited-edition version of a product that's not even on sale! The offenders this time? French ballet slipper company Repetto. 30 designers (Chloe Sevigny, Jean Paul Gaultier). 30 pairs of ballerina shoes. On tour for your viewing pleasure. You know, because the Frick is so boring at this point. [WWD, 1st item]
• And on that note! The inhouse DJ of YSL, Balenciaga, Chanel, etc. is also a designer. His name is Michel Gaubert, and he "collaborated" with Longchamp on a collection of bags. [WWD, 4th item]

• Owen Wilson attempted suicide because he "had been depressed for several months," reports Extra. [People]
  
• Samuel L. Jackson visited Owen Wilson in the hospital. For some reason this makes us feel a lot better. Seriously. Somehow, Sam just soothes the soul. [TMZ]
  
• Madonna's adoption of David Banda is moving forward: a social worker was given permission to visit the family. [People]
  
• This summer, singer Ashanti "gained so much weight she refused to be photographed." Sigh. Some of us know how she feels. [Page Six]

• The Teen Choice Awards was going to have a category called "Newsmakers of the Year" with nominees like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears, but the category was nixed. Good call. [Page Six]
• Neighbors and community leaders are unhappy with The Box, a downtown NYC club with Jude Law, Josh Lucas and Rachel Weisz on its board. The nightspot was supposed to be a theater and a "cultural institution," instead it's just a club. "They lied," says a resident. Shady celebs? What a surprise. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which adult video star is bragging he has pix of a certain hip-hop big asleep in bed after a tryst?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Former bodyguards have a book in the works that will detail "the darker side" of Siegfried and Roy — including smuggling jewelry in tiger cages, drug and alcohol abuse and illegal "secret disposal of animals, including an elephant buried under a housing development." Scandalous! [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• About the "abuse investigation" into Britney Spears and her two young boys: it's not physical abuse — the complaint lodged dealt with poor dental hygiene, poor eating and sleeping habits. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse's in-laws staged an intervention on the radio. They say that Amy and Blake think they're under control, but that's not the case. Also: "We are concerned that if one of them dies, the other will die. They are a very close couple, and if one dies through substance abuse, the other may commit suicide." [Guardian]
• Lily Allen was so drunk at a festival she interrupted a reggae singer's set and pushed him off the stage — he retaliated by pouring beer over her head. Fun! [The Sun]
• Jude Law: Dating German model. [The Sun]