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posts about #samlutfi more →
Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
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gangey
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
OK, I have a locksmith story. And maybe I'm just as much of an ass as Lindsay Lohan, you all tell me:

I realized as I was leaving work that I had left my keys at home, so I grabbed a locksmith's number from the yellow pages before I left. Sure enough, when I got home the door was locked. So, I called the number. The guy picks up on the first ring and says "yeah, I'm working on another job right now, I'll be there in about 45 minutes or so." So, I sit on the front step to wait for him, and lean against the front door and it falls open. The knob was locked, but hadn't fully latched. So, I call the guy back immediately. He doesn't answer, so I leave a message saying "Hey, I don't need you after all, but thanks." I call him 3 more times over the next hour or so, trying to get in touch with him, and leaving a message every time. Finally, he shows up at my door about an hour and a half after I'd called. I meet him outside and say "Hey, didn't you get my messages? I don't need a key made after all." He looks at his phone and says "Yep, looks like I missed your calls. But, I still drove out here, so that will be $40." And I was like, "But, but, but... I called you THREE TIMES to tell you not to! And you didn't even make me a key!" And he says "Tough shit, I didn't get your calls and now I'm here and you have to pay." And starts getting really close to me and being all threatening. So, of course I got my checkbook out and paid him the 40 bucks just to get him away from me, then went in the house and had a cry. I felt like it was a little scam of his to not answer calls when it is the same number that he just received a call from, because that would probably be people calling to cancel orders, and if he just shows up anyway he can bully them out of $40 without doing any actual work. He definitely answered quick enough the first time I called.

Was I an asshole? Or was he?
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alouette
07/08/09

@gangey: He was, most definitely. Maybe he could have justified a "service charge" or something for coming out, but definitely not full price.
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brendastarlet is on it
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
I call b.s. on blaming The Reader's script for the nudity. There was none of speak of in the book. And, Kate could easily have demanded that the nudity be reduced or eliminated, given that she replaced Nicole Kidman on a moment's notice.
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GeorgeFayne
07/09/09

@brendastarlet is on it: While I'll admit that I don't think Schlink wrote "Oh, and she was naked," (as he's a far better writer than that) I think you're wrong.
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t-yo3
07/09/09

@brendastarlet is on it: I don't think she was blaming as such. I think she was saying that she made the choice to do nudity for The Reader because it was part of the story and not just gratuitous sexy stuff, but also gently saying that it's not something that she wants to become known for. (I'm kind of disappointed with the, "Oh, I'm 34 so I need to put it away now" bullshit. Whatever, man.

(Also there was nudity in the book: Michael and Hanna were having sex all the time, and I'm pretty sure they weren't doing it with their clothes on; and there was their first encounter where Schlink specifically points out that Hanna came up behind Michael after his bath and she was naked.)

p.s. This new edit function is quite awesome.
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Edited by t-yo3 at 07/09/09 3:29 PM t-yo3 was starred t-yo3 was unstarred

tscheese
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
Wait, what happens if you call a locksmith and you have no cash on you? What then? They let you back into your place and write you a bill or something?

Either way, isn't it kind of assy to hand them a few bucks and be like "HA HA THIS IS ENOUGH FOR YOU LOL GET LOST"?
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Triphena
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
I don't think I've taken 10,000 pills in 29 years. Good Lord.
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PrarieMuffin
07/08/09

@Triphena: I tried. Lord knows I tried. But I never managed to reach the top of my game.
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lisas
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
I realize this is sooooo not the point of the story, but since when does Lindsay Lohan have blue eyes?
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MockMyWorld
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
Kate Winslet, you can be nude in movies till you're 90. Um, you too, Gael Garcia Bernal. Wait, that wasn't what you were saying in that quote? About actors wearing very little and taking every part as an act of exhibitionismfaith?

I respect that, so, great!
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MockMyWorld
07/08/09

@MockMyWorld: That would have been much more effective if my experiment in HTML strikethrough code had worked.

All you youngsters on this site...did you know that long, long ago, in a commenting golden age far away, we had this thing called a preview button? It let you SEE your mistakes before you actually made them. It helped you avoid that writing-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, doing-the-crossword-in-pen feeling.

It's gone, my children. Gone like the Victrola and the 8-track. Gone like cheap oil and McMansions and Bernie Madoff's days of freedom. Gone forever!!!

*shakes cane at the dying sunset*
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bananaprincess
07/08/09

i enjoyed that very much ;> best comment for a week.@MockMyWorld:
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laetitiae
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
"If you've been married for a long time you love without looking." That's just beautiful. Meryl Streep, thank you for that. :)
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booktart
07/08/09

@laetitiae: Yeah, and I generally love her, but I have to say that reading a quote from her saying "Obviously you can't play a romantic character if she's not really pretty" makes me damn sad.
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J.D.Regent
07/08/09

@booktart: I imagine her saying it ironically. It helps.
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meritxell: an erotic life
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
Lindsey Lohan: you are talentless and if that $39 isn't going to buy you a pair of pants, then you are also an asshole.
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meritxell: an erotic life
07/08/09

@meritxell: Seriously, that shit about rich people stiffing some working man/woman (ie., the stream of entitled nontippers) really sets off my class rage. Guess what douchedragons, I manage to tip well on top of not having millions of dollars with which to do so. Then again, I don't blow it on coke.
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PrarieMuffin
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
Psst--Diana Ross: Staying silent generally does not involve making statements to the press. Just thought I'd clue you in.
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chatterboxwriting
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
I don't think the word "cajoled" means what Sam Lutfi THINKS it means.
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Breamworthy
07/08/09

@chatterboxwriting: I was trying to think what it would be like to have someone "harass and cajole" you: "Come on, let me kick your ass, it's such a cute little ass, I'll only kick it a little bit, you know you want me to..."
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SevenNationArmy has truth tourettes
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
Oh boy I can hear the fanboys from here complaining about Diaz being that movie.
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MarissaExplainsItAll
07/08/09

@SevenNationArmy AKA The Speculator: This fan girl is complaining
@apocalypse-nowish: Yeah, I'm ok w/ him writing it, but don't think he's a good fit to star.
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RainbowBrite
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
Wow. It takes a really REALLY shitty person to stiff a hardworking worker, who makes significantly less money than you, out of $19. God, for some reason that story just makes my skin crawl.
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PrarieMuffin
07/08/09

@RainbowBrite: Seriously, $19? What is that, like, 3 Redbulls? Cough it up, Linds!

It's times like this I'm really glad my mother raised me to believe in common fucking decency.
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unmoldednicole
07/08/09

@PrarieMuffin: I am actually surprised that it was ONLY $39.00 to open a lock.
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RainbowBrite
07/08/09

@unmoldednicole: Haha good point! I've heard horror stories of the locksmith charging like, $300!!
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
07/08/09

@RainbowBrite: I understand she isn't working very much, and probably blew a lot of her money on drugs and rehab. But ya know what expenses you cut back on? Um, $2500 jeans. Not a $40 bill for a locksmith! I absolutely hate this story. It's kind of funny, none of her other shit really bugged me too much, but what kind of person doesn't understand the concept of calling someone to come do work for you?
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YourScreenplaySucks
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
Quincy Jones. He said, "I just can't take it anymore, I've lost so many friends over the past years. Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, Michelangelo Antonioni. I just don't want to be standing there looking at some casket.

This is one of the most amusing & expert examples of name-dropping that I have ever seen.
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kookla
07/08/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: I was just saying the same thing to Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem!! :)
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brendastarlet is on it
07/08/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: I know how Q feels. I, too, was bummed out by funerals of Pope John Paul II, Mother Teresa and Sir Edmund Hillary.
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YourScreenplaySucks
07/08/09

@kookla: See, brendastarlet is on the right track by spreading her references - Quincy wisely chose Ray Charles to highlight that he is down with the greats of R&B but also made sure to convey his connections to Hollywood royalty and to highbrow European white people who make incomprehensible movies about ennui. Instead of sticking with all contemporary actors, you should throw in a curveball - maybe a major athlete or a famous political prisoner.
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Cafezinha
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
I recently saw a trailer for Julie & Julia, and though I really don't like going to the theatre (maybe make it once every 18 months or so), it looked like a load of fun. I hope it's just as lovely and light and sweet as the trailer makes it seem.
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brendastarlet is on it
07/08/09

@Cafezinha: I'm going opening day, too, and I cannot wait to see Meryl as Julia.
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Dodgergirl
07/08/09

In reply to Lindsay & Sam Stiff The Locksmith; Janet: "Michael Will Live Forever"
That's fine for you to say, Sir Paul, but I think we all know we need to see what you're wearing if we are going to make an accurate appraisal of your emotional state.

Oh wait, never mind, he has a penis. Carry on.
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