• Conan O'Brien landed in the hospital yesterday due to an injury sustained during a Tonight Show stunt. A source says O'Brien was "running down a flight of stairs when he slipped and banged his head, possibly sustaining a concussion." [E!]

• Though the network has not yet released any details about Conan's condition or if he's been released from the hospital, they did release a statement allegedly made by O'Brien himself: ""Last thing I remember I was enjoying the play with Mrs. Lincoln and the next thing I knew I was in bed being served cookies and juice." [NYTimes]
• Conan was also cracking jokes during his ambulance ride to the hospital. Is it wrong that I hope he made a Nomi Malone/Showgirls reference regarding Jay Leno and the flight of stairs? [TMZ]
• The rumors about Lindsay Lohan trashing a hotel room during a fight with Samantha Ronson are apparently untrue, as Lohan was in Texas, not New York, when the fight supposedly broke out. [PageSix]
• Meanwhile, producers of Celebrity Big Brother UK are trying to line up Lohan for the last season of the show. [TheSun]
• Seth Rogen's dream came true when he was asked to co-write and lend his voice to the first episode of the upcoming season of The Simpsons, where he'll spoof his own Green Hornet experience by playing a trainer assigned to whip Homer into shape for a big budget action film. "As a writer, it always just seemed like the Holy Grail," Rogen says, "I can die a happy man now." [AP]
• Randy Quaid and his wife allegedly have their hotel bill-hopping scheme "down to a science," according to a Santa Barbara County Sheriff, who notes that the couple have pulled similar stunts before. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus will reportedly be movin her hips like yeah in the Sex and the City sequel: "Miley sees this as a transition from teen stardom to more adult roles," says a source, "We're all wondering how long it will take Kim to have Miley knocking back Cosmos and ogling all the men. Seriously though, all the girls are excited to have Miley on board." I think it will take 5 years, source! Because she's only 16 years old like yeah, so it's a straight edge party on the set in the USA while the cameras are rolling, know what I'm sayin? [ShowbizSpy]
• Afeni Shakur has donated over 150 pieces of her son, Tupac's work to the Robert W. Woodruff Library at the Atlanta University Center. The collection includes handwritten notes, lyrics, and poetry. [AP]
• Mary-Louise Parker is dating musician Charlie Mars. He's 10 years younger than she is, so get ready for 6-8 months of stupid cougar references. [People]
• Ashton Kutcher's The Beautiful Life, starring Mischa Barton, has been canceled by the CW after only 2 episodes. Sadly, no one has canceled the similarly-titled Ace of Base song from my brain since I read this item earlier this morning. [THR]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and husband Michael Douglas shared a birthday yesterday; she turned 40 and he turned 65. "'When you live in Los Angeles you can't go anywhere without being critiqued - on the fact that you have gained weight or that you have got spots on your face. That's not the life I want," Jones says, "Deciding to live in beautiful Bermuda was the healthiest thing Michael and I ever did. Now that I have kids, that's what my life is about." [DailyMail]
• "I've been afraid of the dark my whole life. If I go into my house at night and the lights have been turned off... I have to run from the door to the light switch to turn it on... I'm just afraid of what I can't see. I watch a lot of paranormal shows, like Ghost Hunters... and they freak me out." -Megan Fox [DailyExpress]
• Brett Ratner had to convince producers to allow an autobiographical sex scene in his short for New York, I Love You, wherein a character loses his virginity to "a paraplegic dangling from a tree." Ratner, who apparently lost his own virginity this way, says "When I sent the original script, which is autobiographical, the producers would not let me film it because, in the original ending, she (the girl) is a cripple, and they have sex as she's hanging from a tree in Central Park. Everyone was freaking out over my short, so I changed it to where she wasn't a cripple, but an actress pretending to be a cripple." [DailyExpress]
• Jay-Z says that he's thankful his mother, Gloria, set up a meeting between him and his estranged father, whose absence caused a great deal of "resentment and anger" in his life, as it allowed him to better understand his father's choices. [ShowbizSpy]
• Michael Jackson admitted in an interview to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach that he was terrified of growing old and that he felt Madonna was jealous of him: "'I think she was in love with me and I was not in love with her." [DailyMail]
• Boteach also says that Jackson had "lost the will to live" and was embarrassed about his appearance, noting that he felt he looked like a "lizard." [Reuters]
• "I just hit 40, so what more can I say? I mean, the fact that I'm 40 is a miracle. I'm on the other side now."- Christian Slater [ShowbizSpy]
• J.K. Rowling has opened a Twitter account. Rita Skeeter has already sent her 82930283 direct messages, asking for scoops. [EW]
• And now for my favorite news ever: Snoop Dogg is a big fan of the 90s British sitcom Keeping Up Appearances: ""They still run the show on BBC America so I think Mrs Bucket must have some sort of cult following in the US. I still watch the show to this day and it makes me laugh so hard. She has to be one of the funniest people on TV." [TheSun]

10:17am: I am stuck in traffic behind a broken down bus! This cabbie is an asshole. I might have to get out and run. [Ed note: The movie is supposed to start at 10:15]

10:37: Two cabs and one subway trip later. I'm finally here! It took me an hour to travel maybe three miles. I already hate this movie.

10:40: These are the shoes I chose to wear. Thank friggin god I didn't wear heels as a joke.

10:41: Big just proposed to Carrie. Kinda.
10:45: This theater is packed and everyone is laughing at the stupid jokes. Although Samantha told Carrie she should get Botox.

10:48: Carrie still has that stupid pink crystal-y phone. Except it's taped together which is a nice touch. She just asked Samantha to be her maid of honor.

10:49: All Charlotte does is scream.

10:50: LOL! Carrie's boss talked her into doing the bride at 40 piece by saying "Vogue airbrushing".

10:52: The wedding photo shoot scene. The Dior dress looks like frothy diarrhea. Vivienne Westwood personally sent Carrie a dress for free.

10:55: Haha. Carrie is becoming far-sighted but won't get glasses. Also Chris Noth: Fake tan much?
10:56: Carrie does research for her new book (about love) at the library.

10:59: Carrie won't tell her friends how often she and Big fuck!

11:02: Also, she calls him "John" now.

11:03: OMG, Big built Carrie a closet just like Mariah Carey's. It looks like a store.

11:04: Charlotte just screamed again. And again.

11:05: I'm cringing. They are trying on outfits to "Walk This Way".

11:07: The Miranda/Steve storyline is actually really good. He just admitted to cheating on her and the old lady in the wheelchair behind me just yelled "Hit him! Hit him!" I'm gonna try to get a picture of her.

11:14: Miranda is like a total bitch.

11:24: Big just jilted her! Because she wouldn't answer the phone in the morning. Seriously, all these people are such babies! who wants to put up with this bullshit? Now Charlotte is screaming at Big. Kristin Davis' throat must've been so sore.

11:28: "Okay so he didn't really jilt her. He freaked for a second, then turned around and went back but Carrie was already embarrassed and then she hit him. The whole thing could've been avoided. Kind of like this movie!

11:31: The reason why the honeymoon was in Mexico is because Carrie paid for it as a surprise.

11:32: Carrie is now in a deep depression in Mexico She's been sleeping and not eating. Speaking of, I'm gonna step out to the concession stand for some breakfast.

11:34: Hahahaha! They actually showed Miranda's thick bush.

11:43: Breakfast!

11:44: Somehow Carrie got her apartment back. I missed that when I was buying my breakfast.

11:47: I guess I also missed the part about how Carrie can afford Jennifer Hudson.

11:50: It really pisses me off that Carrie isn't computer literate. Her assistant does her email for her while she flips through magazines on her couch.

11:55: Carrie died her hair dark brown and changed her phone number and is complaining about having a different area code. [The Lifestyles Of The Rich And First World! -Ed.]

11:57: Samantha adopted a dog because its a girl who loves to hump and she felt a connection.

11:58: Jennifer Hudson deserves a Razzie for this. She sucks.

12:00 Oh! I forgot to mention that Charlotte shit her pants in Mexico. Literally.

12:02: Carrie bought her assistant a Louis Vuitton bag for Christmas. Carrie is a retard.

12:08: Okay, finally a Carrie outfit I like. Pajamas, boots, fur coat, stupid hat. That's what I call "walking the dog" attire.

12:10: This sad people on New Year's Eve montage is way too long.

12:16: Carrie finally realized that she is a self-obsessed narcissist! And that she uses "I" too much.

12:29: One therapy session and Miranda and Steve are back together. Also, Miranda is the only one to show her tits.

12:32: Samantha has gained like 5 lbs and everyone noticed. What bitches.

12:33: Samantha and Smith just had the most civilized breakup after 5 years.

12:35: I just checked carriebradshaw.com and she wrote a book called MENhattan? Barf.
12:37: Also, Charlotte's little girls are named Lily and Rose. Barf x2.
12:41: Interesting. Carrie always wears a bra to bed, but in this frantic city scene she is running through the streets without one.
12:46: People are actually crying in this theater because Big proposed a second time with a Manolo!

12:51: Last line: "And there they were, four friends who had met as girls and were now women ready to enter the next phase of their lives, dressed head to toe in love. And that's one label that never goes out of style." LOL.

This is the violent wheelchair lady.

This is the next showing lining up. So many mothers and daughters.

Yeah, I'm sure they share their sexual liberation together.

12:59: As I was walking out of the theater a middle aged woman working there asked me if the movie was any good and I made the "so-so" sign with my hand and then she goes, "Yeah, I figured. I never liked that show. I'm a Will & Grace fan myself."