• OMG. Is the world ready for little 4-year-old David Banda? Madonna says, when it comes to her work: "He knows every song, every word, every step, and he wants to wear all the costumes." And:

"He likes my dress that I wear in 'La Isla Bonita.'" Her Madgesty says that all of her kids are into dancing and "secretly" study with her dancers. But she insists they are not spoiled: "They get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it, and they're very grateful and appreciative for it. I think they are pretty balanced in terms of how they view fame or celebrity or things like that. I think it took them a while to adjust, but I think they're okay about it." [People]

• Bruce Springsteen has posted a statement on his website: "Like many of you who live in New Jersey, I've been following the progress of the marriage-equality legislation currently being considered in Trenton. I've long believed in and have always spoken out for the rights of same sex couples… I urge those who support equal treatment for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters to let their voices be heard now." [AP, BruceSpringsteen.net]
• Buff Werewolf Taylor Lautner will be on Saturday Night Live this weekend, and in a video promo at the link featuring Taylor and Kristen Wiig, nothing funny happens. [JustJared]
• Julia Roberts got drunk and silly at a celebrity charades fund-raiser, saying things like, "I can't fucking lose on this!" And: "I usually go to sleep at 8:15! Let's have fun! I'm wearing tight pants and my kids are asleep!" [Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• On Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People, Kate Gosselin said that her kids miss the TLC cameras and were all "sobbing" at the loss of their pals: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day," Kate told Babs. "They kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.'" Lady, you need to start saving for therapy. Plus eight. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbara Walters' "10 Most Fascinating People" are: Glenn Beck, Lady Gaga, Kate Gosselin, Jenny Sanford (the wife of wandering South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford), Tyler Perry, Michael Jackson's three kids and Adam Lambert. Wait, isn't that 9? "A lot of people nobody had ever heard of last year," Babs says. "And a lot of it is about sexuality." [NY Post]
• Susan Boyle dreamed a dream and it came true! She sang on stage with Elaine Paige. The performance will air as part of a TV special. [Telegraph]
• 90 minutes before Tiger Woods' car crash, his wife, Elin, called Rachel Uchitel and yelled at her, "I know everything." Elin hurled a cellphone at Tiger and broke his tooth, then grabbed a golf club and chased him around the house. He ran to his car barefoot to get away from her. Allegedly. [NY Post via Star Magazine]
• Tiger Woods' reps offered a witness with "detailed knowledge" of Tiger's affair with Rachel Uchitel $200,000 to STFU. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' best friend, Byron Bell, is getting married this weekend, and the bride is a sales rep for Nike. Tiger Woods is the face of Nike Golf, which is how Byron and the lady met. [TMZ]
• Is Beyoncé working on a lucrative, long-term contract with Wynn Las Vegas? [AP]
• Nicolas Cage's ex, Christina Fulton, claims he promised her a house but the evicted her — and, in addition, inflicted her with "mental, physical and emotional abuse" during their relationship. Which ended 15 years ago. She wants $13 million. [TMZ, People]
• Sienna Miller and Jude Law are on, and they don't even care who knows it. [Page Six]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood and girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova: Splitsville. Ronnie's relationship with Katya, as she is known, was responsible for the end of Ronnie's 23-year marriage to wife Jo. [Daily Mail]
• John Stamos says his "racy" pix are so tame he's going to release them himself! Blackmailers were trying to extort $680,000 from Uncle Jesse, even though the snaps just show John posing with fans. [NY Post]
• Danity Kane's Aubrey O'Day was seen "shaking everything she's got" in front of Samantha Ronson, who was not interested. [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson allegedly left his Las Vegas mansion a wreck; the place needs $234,000 (from Michael's estate) to repair damages. [TMZ]
• Matt Damon's dad is sick. [Alfre Woodard's daughter, Mavis Spencer, has been named 2010 Miss Golden Globe. She's an aspiring model and soon-to-be Columbia University freshman… And she's gorgeous. [ET]
• Coming to a theater near you on Valentine's Day, 2011: Pretend Wife, starring Adam Sandler and, maybe, Jennifer Aniston. The plot is under wraps but I imagine the two will PRETEND to like each other, hijinks will ensue, and they'll fall in love. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Josh Brolin: Being considered for a role in Men In Black 3. Why MIB3 is being considered is another story. [LA Times]
• If you want to see a KTLA newsguy go off on Perez Hilton, there's a video at the link. Dude calls the blogger a "talentless dope" and says: "We've been here long before Perez Hilton upchucked his way onto the scene and we'll be here long after he slithers away." [Fishbowl LA]
• There's been a possible break-in and theft at Nicky Hilton's house… Has the Beverly Hills Burglar Bunch struck again? [Pete Doherty. [Independent]
• The Craft star Rachel True has a stalker with a disgusting mind. The woman was arrested outside Rachel's house with a "large sex toy" in her possession. More lurid details at the link. [TMZ]
• RIP As The World Turns. My grandmother watched, and after she died, my grandfather watched. My mom watched, and me, my brother and sister watched in the summer. Meg Ryan, Julianne Moore and Marisa Tomei were all on the show before doing movies. End of an era! [NY Post]
• "I could be coming to Broadway. I sure want to. And nobody knows this. I haven't told anyone. You're the first to know. That is, if there's something to know… actually, it could even be off-Broadway. Right now it was just a reading, but I'm excited at the possibility. Who knows?" — Roseanne Barr might work with Ethan Hawke's theater company. [Cindy Adams]
• "We were together for a year, and we just started breeding. We were like, 'Let's have a baby!' And eight days later…" — Jennifer Garner, on her family planning with Ben Affleck. She also says: "I can live with Ben working crazy hours. But I can't live without girlfriends… It's fine if he's not there; I just need someone to bitch about it to." [Page Six via W]
• "I used to paint fried eggs. I was in a phase" — Shakira, in the upcoming issue of W magazine, on her amateur art career. [Page Six]
• "I can't remember when I was last carrying a film. To have a man's story entrusted to me has been very rare. It's in your hands. You have three wonderful co-stars, but basically [my character] George is yours for the day." — Colin Firth on Tom Ford's film A Single Man. [Reuters]
• "With each decade I've enjoyed a fuller feeling of womanliness. I'm healthy, busy and happy. I've nothing to complain about. And I like my body now. I have more curves. They come from age, but I don't care. I'm just glad they're there. At 40, I had my daughter Charlotte, and that was so exciting. At 50, I had just enough age really to appreciate all the good things. And at 60 I feel – touch wood – one has all the wisdom that one's accumulated, the perspective that it's a joyous thing to work with other people." — Sigourney Weaver, who also says she will not get Botox: "Actors' faces have to move. Yes, we want to see perfect people but we also want to see people who look like us. It's just about skin care to me and maybe exercise. I feel I've earned my laughter lines." [Telegraph]
• "I wanted to do the suicide scene, but was told it wouldn't be appropriate. I've also had to tone things down generally. But it doesn't matter, because I'm a massive fan of the queen. I was so excited and have even been practicing my curtsy." — Lady Gaga, on meeting Queen Elizabeth. [NY Post]
• "I'd love to be an assassin. Either that or a lesbian. Maybe both. Hey, a gay assassin, there's nothing hotter than that. Megan Fox would play my girlfriend — hands down. She's yummy. She's hot. All humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes. I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl." — Rihanna, when asked about future acting roles. [The Sun]

• The Tiger Woods case may be closed, but a Los-Angeles based cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, is telling Us Weekly that she had a 31-month fling with Tiger. And:

Another woman from a nightclub in Las Vegas is expected to be named any minute now. Can of worms, you guys. Can of worms. [MSNBC Scoop]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us Weekly has voicemails from Tiger Woods in which he says: "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye." You can listen at the link. [Us Weekly]
• Jaimee Grubbs, the alleged recipient of the voicemail, allegedly bragged about her relationship with Tiger at work and played the voicemail for coworkers. Allegedly. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs also says she has photos and hundreds of "racy" text messages from Tiger Woods. [NY Daily News]
• More on Tiger's sexting here. One message reads: "I will wear you out... when was the last time you got [bleeped]?" [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Tiger Woods booked and paid for Rachel Uchitel's trip to meet him in Australia in November. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan was out Monday night, hanging with John Mayer and Samantha Ronson, and was "totally sober and well-behaved." No, really. [Page Six]
• According to this column, John Mayer was "playing relationship counselor" to Sam and Lindsay — getting Sam to talk to Lindsay, whom she initially ignored. The two ended up spending much of the night talking and laughing! John Mayer is magic! [Gatecrasher]
• Caaaaaaashmere sweaters! Oprah's "Favorite Things" episode may be back next year! [CNN]
• Like Taylor swift, Bon Jovi and Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z is suing an establishment for playing his music without paying. [TMZ]
• What's this? Justin Timberlake's new hair looks like his old hair? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• Adam Lambert is hoping one of his songs will be in the Twilight movie Eclipse: "It's kind of about vampires," he explains. "It's a great song. It's very theatrical ... very campy." SHOCKING. [Gatecrasher via MTV]
• Tragic times we live in: Britney Spears, Rihanna, David Beckham, Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were all seen at LAX Monday — and they all few commercial. [Gatecrasher via X17]
• George Clooney's frequent flier tip: Wear slip-on shoes. "The shoes you have to tie, they take forever." But: "I never wear those goofy masks on my eyes. I am too worried about the guy in the next seat taking a picture of me. That is one photo that you can't live down." [People]
• Kim Kardashian has finally reached her "goal" in terms of her body, and you can see what that looks like in a pic at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Another amazing Twitter pic: Tyra and her real hair! [NY Daily News]
• The Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie promises to be "epic" and those involved are looking to "recreate that Gladiator magic." Production is "massive," claims Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe says: "I don't think there is a satisfying Robin Hood and that's one of the key reasons for wanting to make another one." Expect to see Robin with cropped hair and a beard, much like Maximus. [News.com.au]
• Clint Eastwood, who directed the Nelson Mandela film Invictus, says he finds Mandela "Christ-like." "There are just no people like this on the planet." [Showbiz 411]
• Stevie Wonder has been named a United Nations Messenger of Peace, which is a brilliant idea. [UPI]
• Rah rah ah ah ah: Barry Manilow hearts Lady Gaga. "I really think she's got something going for her," he says. [Reuters]
• Barry should know that a teen panel has declared that Lady Gaga and Jamie Foxx songs are the musical equivalent of junk food with "unhealthy relationship ingredients." But: "We aren't telling people what they should or should not be listening to," Barbara Ferrer, of the Boston Public Health Commission, said in a statement. "We are giving them a tool that will help them make an informed choice about what they put in their bodies." Fourteen teens attended a seven-week commission-sponsored institute on healthy relationship promotion and teen dating violence prevention, where they were taught to evaluate music based on themes of power, control, equality and gender roles. [USA Today]
• Sting was asked: "Do you feel uncomfortable travelling between various homes in various continents at enormous carbon cost?" by Newsnight's Jeremy Paxman, who added: You're not being blamed for the global crisis, you're just being called a hypocrite." Sting "squirmed in his seat." [Guardian]
• OMG OMG OMG: Joan Collins is hoping to take her makeover TV show Joan Does Glamour to the US! Hairspray, diamonds and shoulder pads for everyone! [Mirror]
• "Customers who buy a diamond at Ivanka Trump's Bridal Bar, where rings start at $15,000, will get a three-course dinner with champagne and a night in a Trump hotel in Manhattan." Get engaged — get a room. [Ny Daily News]
• Corey Feldman's going through a divorce and wants joint custody of his son and doesn't want to give his wife spousal support. [TMZ]
• Little Richard is out of the hospital after hip surgery and wants to work hard at recovery so he can "get back on the road as soon as possible." Let's hope he's feeling Tutti Frutti ASAP. [AP]
• Norah Jones has won her battle to transform the windowless side wall of her Amity Street mansion in Brooklyn's Cobble Hill by punching out 10 windows. [Brooklyn Paper]
• "Oscar-nominated actor James Woods has settled a lawsuit against a hospital in Rhode Island where his younger brother Michael died in 2006." [Mirror]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname reunited… To watch their son's nativity play. [The Sun]
• "I did show my line at Bryant Park, which is not in this season, but I knew that I had to really prove myself as a designer more than anybody else out there. There are so many celebrity lines and there are so many reality show lines, actually, that haven't really done well and haven't shown much design sense. So I had to prove myself even more, that I really did take this seriously. I think no one ever expected me to put so much heart and soul into it. I guess the verdict is still out regarding what they think of my talent." — Whitney Port. Lots more at the link. [LA Times]
• "We as a family are under a lot pressure. [People want] to make us look bad and wants us to fail. [With the Melrose Place firing, the world], again, always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard. My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong...We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we say we are." — Joe Simpson on his daughters Ashlee and Jessica. [Us Magazine]
• "They are all different. I have died with my eyes open, which is more interesting than dying with your eyes shut. I can't remember how I died as Tolstoy, but I have done Cyrano de Bergerac on stage and I died with my eyes opened. I think that's marvelous, because in the theater the lights hold to your open eyes and it's kind of marvelously frightening for a second." — Christopher Plummer, who plays Tolstoy in his latest film The Last Station. [LA Times]
• "I think we should say something about class in America. It's the dirty little secret nobody wants to talk about… What about the people at the top who are evil and corrupt and don't want to change and don't want to give up the positions of power that they inhabit to make other people suffer and to make actual real horror in the world? They don't want to change. What do we do about them?" — Roseanne Barr tries to be the voice of the disappearing American middle class on her radio show, "The Tipping Point." [LA Times]
• "I think she's probably quite nervous... She's smart but make no mistakes, this will be a very different kind of show than what you're used to. Obviously everyone wants to sit next to me. I am thinking about pulling names out of a hat." — Simon Cowell on Ellen DeGeneres joining the judging panel on American Idol. [Mirror]
• "You can still contribute even if you are not as fortunate as I am. I've been blessed and I've been over-rewarded for what I do and I'm trying to give my time and my resources but you know, I'm a rich rock star, so shoot me." — Bono, urging people to buy products from the (RED) brand, which funds aid projects in Africa. [Telegraph]
• "A lot's changed since I was on TV. We have a black president now. Actually, Obama called me and asked me to help him with his campaign. He said he had two rules for me — don't use the 'N' word, and stay off TV. Figures the first black president would run on a platform of only taxing the rich, and now I'm rich!" — Dave Chappelle, in a surprise visit to Caroline's comedy club. [Page Six]
• "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties. I didn't touch pot 'til I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college [Harvard]. But I think that's a good thing in many ways." — Natalie Portman. [Page Six via Marie Claire]
• "Not only is my performance raw in this film, but through most of the film I am naked from the waist down. So not only am I raw, I'm chafed." — George Clooney, joking about Up In The Air. [People]

• Today a judge ruled that Jon Gosselin must pay back $180,000 of the money he removed from his shared bank account with Kate Gosselin in violation of an arbitrator's order. As for the rest of the money...

• Kate's lawyer said, "The remaining sum of $55,000, which Ms. Gosselin used for household bills and expenses relating to the children, will be subject to further determination by the arbitrator at a later date." Jon has to pay by October 26 or be held in contempt. Kate has until that date to detail what she's been spending the money on. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted: "@samantharonson doesn't respond 2me b/c her family will cut her off if she contacts me…They control the one I love & im incapable of making any sort of difference. I'm in love with her, as she is in love with me….but her loved ones-hate her brilliance & resent her happiness" [Perez Hilton]
• In the video at the link, a Dallas news anchor asks Oprah, "Would you like to take this opportunity to apologize to America for introducing us to Dr. Phil?" She laughs and says, "Aren't you proud of your boy from Texas?" to which the anchor replies, "No." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was nominated for five American Music Awards today. His death made him the biggest-selling artist of the year and he was nominated for favorite male artist and favorite album for Number Ones. [Reuters]
• Sources who have heard unreleased Michael Jackson recordings say there are at least two albums worth of material, and some are better than "This Is It." [TMZ]
• Helen Harris-Scott, who once claimed Michael Jackson communicated with her through his music, has filed a creditor's claim for $50 million. She says Michael installed a tracking device in her car, wiretapped her phone and had "organized criminals watching me inside my house in L.A. and reporting to him." [TMZ]
• Robert O'Ryan, Shawn Johnson's alleged stalker, will stand trial for felony stalking, felony commercial burglary and two misdemeanor counts of carrying a loaded firearm in his car. A judge threw out an attempted kidnapping charge because although he had zip ties, duct tape, and a shot gun in his car the judge said there was so much junk in the vehicle that he could not have fit Johnson inside. [TMZ]
• Deputy James Davis, the police officer who arrested Evi Quaid and Randy Quaid, is suing her because she was photographed hanging a hand painted sign accusing him of taking bribes outsider her home. Now another sign has appeared that accuses him of being a "Deputy with Underrated Intelligence." [TMZ]
• NBC has cancelled Southland, but TNT may pick it up. [Hollywood Reporter]
• A Richard Prince exhibition has reopened at the Tate Modern in London after a nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10-years-old was removed for possibly violating obscenity laws. Prince was consulted and the picture was replaced with a photo of Shields as an adult. [N.Y. Times]
• The first witness in the preliminary hearing over Anna Nicole Smith's death testified today that she was found with a bottle of the anti-biotic Cipro and a baby bottle full of Pedialyte, which is used to rehydrate children who have diarrhea and vomiting. Anna had the flu. [TMZ]
• The paparazzi caught Maria Shriver talking on a cell phone while driving, which was outlawed by a bill Arnold Schwarzenegger signed last year. [TMZ]
• Paparazzi caught Famke Jannsen with feeding her dog while dining on the patio of a New York restaurant. In New York it is illegal to bring a dog into a restaurant. [TMZ]
• The cover of Q magazine featuring a topless Lily Allen with panthers won a Maggie for the best UK magazine cover of the year. [Guardian]
• Lily Allen is preparing to move in with her new boyfriend Sam Cooper, who is a builder. "They have made enquiries about several terraced properties in Primrose Hill in London," says a source. "Sam's brilliant at planning and design so it makes sense for him to advise on any business ventures. They're so into each other, it's very sweet." [Ok]
• Though they've only been dating for a few weeks Katy Perry wants to introduce Russell Brand to her parents. "Katy is as besotted with Russell as he is with her. However, her parents are extraordinarily strict Christians," says a source. "Katy is sure that, after a bit of getting used to him, they would approve of Russell, but she wants to get that initial meeting out of the way as early as she can." [The Sun]
• Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen saved a lost dog they saw other drivers swerving around in Los Angeles. Sacha called the owners to set up a meeting and said he'd recognize them because, "I'm very tall and my fiancée is really tiny. You can't miss us." [E!]
• PETA is attacking Paris Hilton for buying a pet mini-pig recently, saying she sets a "wretched example" by treating animals like they're "as disposable as her friends and fiances." [TMZ]
• Karina Smirnoff says the rumors she's hooking up with her Dancing With the Stars partner Aaron Carter are "really funny" because judge Len Goodman keeps accusing them of not being sexy enough on the dance floor. "Let me tell you, if that was the case, the dance would have been very raunchy, as Len wanted it to be," she said. [People]
• The autopsy of Boyzone star Stephen Gately, who was found dead on Saturday, shows he died of natural causes. [USA Today]
• Ethan Hawke is on the new cover of Hobo magazine, sitting on a swing looking scruffy and dejected. [Just Jared]
• Tilda Swinton is trying to prevent Donald Trump from developing a golf course in Scotland. He responded: "Where was Tilda Swinton three years ago when everyone else was petitioning? She's a little late in the game don't you think? Swinton is a part of a tiny little group of people who are hanging by a thread. 93% of the public in Scotland are in favor of the project. I have all of my permits and approvals and we're going to start construction in 3 weeks." [TMZ]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their new daughter Lou Sulola. "I think that it's a wonderful experience to be pregnant, definitely, but you have to look at what you can do, and four children is a lot!" she said. "It's a big family. We drive a really big VW bus. Now in September, all three children will be going to school. Try to fit three car seats in the back of the car!" [People]
• T.R. Knight told Ellen DeGeneres, "I want a baby... I don't know if it's going to end up working out, but that would be something I would like." [Us]
• Former Spice Girl Emma Bunton's two-year-old son Beau was taken to the hospital last week because he had a bloody lip. Bunton says, "It's been an emotional week for me as Beau had his first accident, which left both of us in tears. He fell over his scooter and his tooth pierced his bottom lip, so there was blood everywhere." He was sent home the same day. [Daily Express]
• Claire Danes says she likes to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge but has never ventured much further into the borough. "That's terrible. I sound terrible," she said. Her husband Hugh Dancy added, "Basically, you're speaking to the most politely pro-Manhattanite person that you've ever met, right here." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "They've turned the word rock into nothing. It's a meaningless word. "It rocks." "That food rocks." "She's rocking in that outfit." They've taken the word and stripped it of all its menace, of all its dirt, of all its sex." — Joan Jett [Esquire]
• Jane Birkin says Serge Gainsbourg "was scared stiff of all breasts. Which was why, when he met me, he said: 'Wow – you have a body just like the ones I drew in art school.' He didn't like bosoms to be high and pert; he liked them lower down, which was just as well, as I'd had a baby. 'I've always dreamt of a girl who had the top of a boy and the bottom of a girl,' he once told me – Serge did like a bottom." [The Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone says she likes the men of old Hollywood like William Powell and Spencer Tracy because, "They're chivalrous and funny and not too politically correct. They still smack a gal on the ass, which I just think is swell. They wear a suit, they have a hat, they drive a car, they have a job. They stand up when you come in the room, say please and thank you. All those old fashioned things go a long way with me." [Showbiz 411]

• Justin Timberlake and Rihanna reportedly hooked up after the VMAs and they've "been seeing each other for the past few weeks," says a source, "He is really into her and it's only a matter of time before he dumps Jessica".

• The source suggests that they were the subject of a New York Daily News blind item last week that said, "Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out ..." [Showbiz Spy, N.Y. Daily News]
• Chynna Phillips says when her half-sister Mackenzie Phillips revealed that she had an incestuous relationship with their father John Phillips for 10 years, a part of her died. But, she adds, "After long nights of heroin use, she's claiming that she once woke up and that my father was on top of her having sex with her. Was he actually raping her? I don't know. Do I believe that they had an incestuous relationship and that it went on for 10 years? Yes." [Us]
• Chynna's mother, Michelle Phillips, the ex-wife John Phillips, says her stepdaughter is lying about their incestuous relationship. She says Mackenzie told the family in 1997 "She told me, then she called me back and said, ‘You know I'm joking,' " Michelle said. "I said it wasn't funny. Mackenzie said, ‘I guess we have different senses of humor.' " She says Oprah Winfrey should have never let her do the show and added, "Mackenzie has a lot of mental illness. She's had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years. She was arrested for heroin and coke just recently. She did ‘Celebrity Rehab' and now she writes a book. The whole thing is timed... Mackenzie is jealous of her siblings, who have accomplished a lot and did not become drug addicts." [Showbiz 411]
• Hailey Glassman was pictured walking out of a plastic surgeon's office looking disheveled as her parents helped her walk. Star claims she got a boob job because she wants to compete with all the women hitting on Jon Gosselin and that she plans to get even more work done for him. [Star]
• Joe Francis' tax evasion case has ended in a plea deal. Francis agreed to plead guilty to two counts of filing false tax returns one one count of bribing Nevada jail workers in exchange for food. He'll have to pay $250,000 in restitution and receive credit for the 301 days he already spent in jail in 2007. He could have faced 10 years in prison. [AP]
• John Travolta testified this morning in the trial of two Bahamians accused of hatching an extortion plot against his family. He said the nanny woke him and Kelly Preston up and said his son, Jett, was unconscious on the bathroom floor. Travolta ran downstairs and gave his son CPR along with a caretaker. Travolta admitted for the first time that in addition to Kawasaki disease, Jett was autistic. "My son was autistic and he suffered from seizure disorder every 5 to 10 days," said Travolta. "He would suffer a seizure that would last 45 seconds to a minute and sleep for 12 hours." It's unclear if Travolta will have to testify again tomorrow. [E!, People]
• John Travolta said he and Kelly Preston rode with Jett to the hospital in the ambulance and were told he was "not alive." [TMZ]
• Lynn Redgrave said of her niece Natasha Richardson, who died in March, "Well, we just go on, day by day... We remember her every day, we'll never forget. She was a bright, bright light in our lives." [People]
• Howard K. Stern was arraigned today on 11 felony counts related to Anna Nicole Smith's prescription drug use. He plead not guilty. [TMZ]
• Ellen Pompeo has given birth to a baby girl, Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery. [People]
• Jude Law has become a father again. Samantha Burke gave birth to their daughter on Tuesday night. "I doubt Jude was there," says a source. "Besides the financial support, he's not involved." [People]
• Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are suing Gawker.com for $1 million for posting their nude video online and are seeking an injunction to have the video taken down. Gawker publisher (and our boss) Nick Denton Tweeted: "To quote the great Marty Singer — Eric Dane's lawyer — if you don't want a sex tape on the internet, 'don't make one!'" [TMZ]
• Looks like we owe Lindsay Lohan an apology! Though we assumed she was just rambling nonsensically when she Tweeted, "Nice to see @samantharonson has found a 90210 rather than being a loyal" over the weekend, it turns out Samantha Ronson has filmed a guest appearance on 90210. She advises one of the characters "on matters of the heart." [People]
• Here's the new poster for Disney's The Princess and the Frog: [ONTD]
• Amy Winehouse's rep says the story that Amy went to a school in London and spit at a girl who was bullying her goddaughter is "absolutely untrue." [Daily Express]
• Here's the new promo video for the Fame Kills tour, featuring Lady Gaga and Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• The sister of Michael Lawrence Kozelka, the man accused of stalking Jewel, says he hasn't had any contact with the family for two years and has had a hard time holding down a job. She apologized to Jewel on his behalf. [AP]
• Betty White will guest star on an episode of 30 Rock this season! [Entertainment Tonight]
• Though reports that Jaclyn Smith was shot yesterday are untrue, Sandra Franklin, her Charlie's Angels stunt double, really did get shot in the abdomen in Honduras while in her home. [TMZ]
• La Toya Jackson is covering this season of Dancing With the Stars for Access Hollywood. [UPI]
• Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, who host a faith-themed program together, are planning to give away 100,000 copies of a new edition of Charles Darwin's On The Origin Of Species which, "shares the gospel in an updated introduction, designed to clear up the pervasive mistake that Darwin did not believe in the existence of God." [UPI]
• Sadly, there is no truth to the reports that Anderson Cooper will replace Regis Philbin on Live With Regis And Kelly next year. "Regis is the king," Cooper says. "He's not going anywhere!" He adds, "It's completely made up. I have no idea where it came from. Regis is not retiring, and I'm very happy with what I'm doing." [People]
• This headline makes us want to, well, barf: "Jennifer Love Hewitt: My Boyfriend Helps Me Diet" [People]
• Joseph Fiennes says he didn't chase big budget movies after Shakespeare In Love because, "There's always going to be a Next Big Thing and a hottest this and the sexiest that. That's the nature of the beast, but I didn't want to be involved in it. It's too easy to get pigeonholed in the movie business, and I didn't want to be pigeonholed. I wanted to be a free agent, and if I wanted to go and work with strange European alternative filmmakers rather than big American studios, I could." [Esquire]
• Drew Barrymore says, "I am okay with my dad, but my mom and I have yet to work it out... I don't talk about it because … how do you talk about something you're confused about?" [People]
• Nicholas Cage used to drink before filming Leaving Las Vegas to get into character and Werner Herzog says of Cage's role in his upcoming film Bad Lieutenant, "There's a scene where Terence rips open a bag of coke and snorts it. Nic was so realistic I was frightened. I thought he was no longer snorting the prop cocaine, the saccharine. So I asked Nic, 'What is it that you are snorting?' He just smiled and said, 'The prop, of course.' But he was just so realistic." [NY Magazine]
• Common says rap is taking a new direction thanks to President Obama. "I also don't find as much gangsta talk," he said. "You see the whole chain-shining-and-rim era is gone. That's like super-played out. Just to have that, I think, is part of the Obama effect." [CNN]

• This morning Lindsay Lohan posted an incoherent rant about Samantha Ronson on Twitter. She writes: "can you make an attempt to not ruin ANYTHI...zG positive that i have FINALLY deserved just to cry myself to sleep with your cheats, errors..."

• ...and thank you...for being a friend before a sell-out...the term "self out" was coined from ME and i gave them sooooooo much insight...For their not only COMPLETE, BUT SUBSTANISAN ***FRIENDS***********"... BUT YOU DID perform to her..you JUST told me that your friends are worth more than i am 2 your family & that i'm gross*thx." Linds hasn't claimed that it's the work of a hacker... yet. [Perez Hilton]
• Courtney Love says she's going to "sue the shit" out of the people behind Guitar Hero because they didn't ask her permission to use Kurt Cobain's image. She Tweeted: "not in twenty JILLION years would i EVER have allowed this and this islethal... we get NO money for this, travesty, Frances gets NO money for the rape." [TMZ]
• John Mayer denied the rumors that he's dating Kristin Cavallari on Twitter writing, "I'm sure she's a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together." Adding, "How do I put this like a gentleman...I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis." [People]
• Jennifer Aniston will sing and play the guitar in her new film The Goree Girls. She promises: "I can carry a tune." [People]
• A source says Paula Abdul was shocked by the news that Ellen DeGeneres is replacing her on American Idol. "Privately, Paula is very upset. She's never going to admit it publicly but this stung," said the source.[Radar Online]
• Ellen DeGeneres says of hosting American Idol, "I hope Paula's OK with it. I don't want anybody to think I took Paula's job away." [E!]
• Ellen says the reason she was picked even though she has no music experience is, "I'm just a fan like everyone else... The people choose. Ultimately, it comes down to them, not some executive in the music industry. I hope to be that voice." [L.A. Times]
• Randy Jackson says American Idol "reached out" to Ellen because, "We're all friends with Ellen, and Ryan [Seacrest] and I are pretty close with her. She's just mad cool." [People]
• Natalie Cole performed last night for the first time since having a kidney transplant. "I really do have to say ... it really is a miracle time. It's a miracle night for me," she told the crowd. "I never thought I'd be standing here healthy and whole and 100 percent." [People]
• Though Jermaine Jackson announced Natalie Cole, Chris Brown, and Mary J. Blige were going to perform at the Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna they've all dropped out or denied they were ever involved. Yet, their pictures are still up on the concert's website. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson, who is reportedly not happy about the Michael Jackson tribute concert, released a statement saying she'll be there on the 29th. The only problem is it's on the 26th. [TMZ]
• Barbara Walters interviewed LaToya Jackson for a 20/20 special that will air on Friday, in which she says of Michael Jackson, "I don't think we'll find a person as talented, a person who thought the way he thought. A person with the heart that Michael had... People aren't that way anymore. He was special. He wasn't God, but he was certainly God-like. He was the closest thing to a god that I knew." [ABC News]
• Movers are taking Michael Jackson's possessions out of his Holmby Hills mansion today. [TMZ]
• The trailer for Michael Jackson: This Is It, the movie made from rehearsal footage from MJ's final concert, will air on Sunday during the MTV Video Music Awards. [AP]
• Oprah says of her upcoming interview with Whitney Houston, "It will leave you gasping. She does not blame Bobby Brown and she takes full responsibility for her engagement in drugs. At one point she says, 'I didn't get out of my pyjamas for seven months.'" [The Sun]
• The hosts and musical guests on the first four episodes of Saturday Night Live this season will be Megan Fox and U2, Ryan Reynolds and Lady Gaga, Drew Barrymore and Regina Spektor, and Gerard Butler and Shakira. [The Wrap]
• Barbara Mandrell has become the first woman to be inducted into the Steel Guitar Hall of Fame. [AP]
• Edward Norton will be running the New York City marathon this year with a group of runners from the African Maasai tribe to benefit the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. "The idea picked up traction pretty quickly," said Norton, who turned 39 in August. "Then, I was like, 'Wait a minute. What have I just done?'" [CNN]
• Gavin Rossdale will guest star on an episode of Criminal Minds as "a Goth rock star who has become lost in the frightening alter-ego he portrays on stage — an alter-ego the show's investigative team suspects may be a brutal serial killer." [UPI]
• Paris Hilton appears in the new edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations alongside Barack Obama, Confucius, and Oscar Wilde. Paris' words of wisdom: "Dress cute wherever you go, life is too short to blend in."[Daily Mail]
• Dustin Diamond is being sued for more than $21,000 in upaid property taxes and had his car repossessed. [Radar Online]
• Robert Carlyle says that director Danny Boyle is "edging closer" to making Porno, the sequel to Trainspotting, and says he'd be willing to do the movie for free. Ewan McGregor has said the sequel would be a "terrible shame." [BBC]
• Michael Douglas says he's "holding up fine," after his son Cameron's arrest for alleged drug dealing, adding, "It's a very difficult situation and painful, as I'm sure any mother or father of a substance abuser knows. So we're doing the best we can." [People]
• Jon Gosselin just can't behave himself. He got a ticked for going 78 mph in a 55 mile zone near his home in Pennsylvania. [TMZ]
• Joel Madden Tweeted on Wednesday morning, "Geuss who's back ... Oh i'm sorry we were only having a little baby boy." [People]
• Tila Tequila met with investigators from the San Diego District Attorney's office to discuss the altercation she had with San Diego Charger Shawne Merriman. [TMZ]
• Hugh Hefner went to Kendra Wilkinson's baby shower yesterday wearing a black suit and a bright red shirt rather than his customary pajamas. [TMZ]
• Laura Ling reveals that on her first night back from North Korea she ate pizza, and says Bill Clinton has been checking up on her family since her return. [TMZ]
• Melanie Chisholm a.k.a. Sporty Spice is making her theater debut next month in Blood Brothers on London's West End. [The Guardian]
• Geri Halliwell has been in Nepal all week as part of her duties as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Population Fund. She's promoting maternal health and women's rights. At a press conference she urged Nepali men to use their power to encourage and protect women saying, "When we empower women and take care of them everyone benefits." [Perez Hilton]
• Here's a picture of Cynthia Nixon on the set of Sex and the City 2 dressed up for the '80s flashback scene. [Perez Hilton]
• More Sex and the City 2 plot speculation here: [Us]
• Apparently there is nothing Sex and the City can't do. On an upcoming episode of her talk show Tyra Banks reveals the show helped her lose weight. "I got rid of one of my couches in my living room and I watched Sex and The City episodes on the treadmill or the elliptical," she says. "So Sex and the City lasts 30 minutes – that's how long I'm on the elliptical." [People]
• Phil Collins says he'll never drum again because, "I've got a condition that means I can't play anymore. After playing drums for 50 years, I've had to stop. Obviously I'm very sad about it. My vertebrae has been crushing my spinal cord because of the position I drum in. It comes from years of playing. I can't even hold the sticks properly without it being painful." [Perez Hilton]
• Kelsey Grammer won a lawsuit filed against him by a contractor who worked on his kitchen. [TMZ]
• At the link are photos from Japanese Vogue featuring Lady Gaga in bondage. [Egotastic]
• Artwork for the Broadway play A Steady Rain shows Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig's faces fused together. [Just Jared]
• In the video at the link George Clooney keeps his cool even when an Italian journalist tells him he's gay, strips down to his boxers, and asks George to "choose him." [ABC News]
• Khloé Kardashian and boyfriend Lamar Odom seem to want to get their picture taken, since they've been hitting all the paparazzi hot spots. [E!]
• Joshua Jackson says Fringe, "has been the total opposite of my Dawson's Creek experience... Fringe has taken a while for the show to percolate in the pop culture. I would never complain about being on a show with the words J.J. Abrams above the title, but the expectations were impossibly high." [Just Jared]
• "[Being 16] is way overrated. I can't even drive in the city. Can you do more at 17? I don't know." — Taylor Momsen [New York Magazine]
• Rebecca Romijn says she and Jerry O'Connell aren't planning to have any more children now that they have twin girls. "We feel like the world was made for pairs. Four feels like the perfect number... Also, we're not interested in overpopulating this world," she added. "So we feel like we don't want to leave more than we are when we leave this planet." [E!]
• When asked if she would ever do a talk show Kathy Griffin said, "The sexism in late night talk is so profound. When you think that Joan Rivers is the first and last woman to do a network late night talk show-I mean, that's appalling to me. I don't know if I can win that battle-it's such a boys' club.... I'd like to do it in some way, but I gotta tell you, I like the freedom of a show like The D-List, where I can take my time with these celebrities and spend more than six minutes with them on the couch." [Publisher's Weekly]
• Drew Barrymore and an uncomfortable-looking Ellen Page are on the cover of Marie Claire. Drew says of Ellen, "She was in her frickin' bra and with an open jacket and hot-pink shorts, skating around the rink with red lips and… and she was sexy as a mother…. a feral creature. It was great. And it's so screwed up for girls to think, Oh because I don't have that cookie-cutter model body, it must mean I don't have the right body shape. And I love model bodies, but I just want women to embrace several body shapes. That's the thing I love about derby. It's really welcoming." [Just Jared]

• Lady Gaga on those nasty hermaphrodite rumors:

"My little vagina is very offended." [News.com.au]

• Celebrities seen attending DJ AM's memorial — designed to resemble a 12-step meeting — include Lindsay Lohan, Robert Downey Jr., John Mayer, Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. [AP, People]
• Susan Boyle's album is topping Amazon's bestsellers list, even though it's not on sale until November. Pre-orders have the album out-selling Whitney Houston and the Twilight soundtrack. [Daily Mail]
• So you know how Chris Brown critiqued Oprah for doing a show on domestic violence, dedicated to "all the Rihannas of the world"? He called it "a slap in the face." And he said: "I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could've been more helpful, like, ‘OK, I'm going to help both of these people out.'" A source says: "He's done. Whatever goodwill he had, he's totally ruined it by saying that. What was he thinking? And who the hell goes up against Oprah? It just shows he doesn't think. No one is going to want him as the face of their brand." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna has been seen being "touchy-feely" with "scenester" Travis London. [NY Daily News]
• Michael Jackson's burial last night gave Katherine Jackson closure, sources say. "Everyone's been telling her how strong she is, but even she said, ‘It's not always easy to be this strong,'" says Rev. Al Sharpton, a Jackson family friend. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paris Jackson cried when she stepped into the mausoleum where her father was to be entombed; Katherine Jackson started to go in but turned back, overcome by grief. [AP]
• Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis attended Michael Jackson's burial. Gladys Knight sang. [People]
• Michael Jackson was not buried at Neverland — or in Gary, Indiana, because his family wanted a "secluded, dignified resting place fitting for a music legend." His mother, Katherine, wanted to be able to visit her son without fanfare or fans. [Mirror]
• An Australian newspaper mocked Russell Crowe for smoking and eating a big meal during a recent bike ride. Naturally Russell has challenged the paper's gossip columnist to a "duel by bicycle." Apparently Russell's spokesperson called the guy the next day and said: Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?" [Breitbart]
• Lisa Ling says that when her sister Laura Ling was held captive in North Korea, Diane Sawyer reached out: "She made calls and took meetings on our behalf for which we will be forever grateful." [People]
• We've seen a lot of Jon Gosselin lately, but not a lot of his girlfriend. A source says of Hailey Glassman: "Hailey actually hates the fact that Jon is famous. She doesn't want to be photographed and doesn't like the attention." [Page Six]
• Zooey Deschanel is "scrambling to slim down" for her wedding; she's been taking ballet workouts back to back. Or maybe she just likes the workout? [Page Six]
• Joy Behar is silly. [Page Six]
• Newly released emails from Carrie Prejean show that she and the pageant officials were butting heads way before she spoke out on same-sex unions. In a March 19 email, Carrie wrote to Miss California co-director Keith Lewis: "I WILL NOT BE VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED ANYMORE BY ANY OF YOU. I HAVE A COMPETITION TO PREPARE FOR. I WILL NO LONGER BE DEALING WITH ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN AT THIS POINT. I WILL ONLY SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAPPY. AND RIGHT NOW, THAT IS NONE OF YOU. I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN APRIL. PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AT ALL FROM THIS POINT FORWARD." [Fox News]
• "Donald Trump is such a hands-on boss that he personally helps pick six of the 15 finalists in the Miss Universe pageant each year — because the preliminary judges often overlook the most beautiful contestants." [Page Six]
• Check out this "commercial" for "Fecalux," starring Roseanne. It makes you poop. [ONTD]
• All About Steve "is an oddly creepy, sour film, featuring a heroine so desperate and peculiar that audiences may be more likely to pity than root for her." [Rotten Tomatoes]
• Jake Brockman, a former keyboard player with Echo and the Bunnymen, was killed in a motorcycle crash Tuesday on the Isle of Man. [BBC News]
• Whatshername says Whatshisname has a "secret lover." [The Sun]
• "I hope this show is a huge hit and that people love it. Because I like playing this character more than any character I've ever played." — Courteney Cox on upcoming show Cougar Town. [LA Times]
• "The older I get, the younger the leading man gets." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
• "I've always said I believe in good music and bad music. ...I like music. My next album, which I'm working on now — that's exclusive, no one knows that — is gonna be the album that really ...it's not gonna be a #1 album. That's where I'm at right now. I wanna make the most experimental album I ever made." — Jay-Z. [MTV News]
• "People often look for deep psychological and emotional reasons why people eat, and I'm sure for many people those exist. But other people, and I would include myself, are just fucking greedy bastards who like eating. It's nice – it's a nice feeling. Eating chocolate is nice, right? Chocolate's fucking great. So I don't think it was a horrible self-comforting thing, I think it was just lack of self-discipline. Most people want a load of chocolate, but they stop. They think, if I do that I'll get fat. Whereas I just thought, I don't care." — Little Britain's Matt Lucas, who has recently lost weight because his doctor had warned him he was at risk of becoming diabetic. [Guardian]
• "You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things. Someone said, 'Oh, I saw a picture of you on the Internet, that was a really pretty hat.' Not hat, I don't wear hats. 'That was a really great dress!' I was like, 'Oh, I just wore that the other day, how did you know?' 'Oh, well, on blank-blank-blank-dot-com.' I wouldn't know. I don't know whose movie made money — I haven't seen a movie. I don't know who's famous and who's not, I don't know any young people that are coming up. I'll see somebody, and I'll say, 'That girl's really pretty.' And someone may say, 'Oh, of course, she's on "The Hills" or something.' Is that a show? I've got strong opinions, and I can get short. But I'm just not that high-maintenance. So the whole world knows I had miscarriages. And yes, I've done in vitro however many times — three times. Yes, I've said that David and I go to therapy. Yes. Nothing's too precious for me. For some reason, I don't care. I wish I could be a little bit more, like, 'You're trying to dig something out of me,' and me being like, 'I'm not going to talk about that.' What do you want to talk about? I don't care." — Courteney Cox. [LA Times]
• "I don't enjoy being looked at. But that's part of being successful, doing magazine covers. It's very masochistic – the one thing you're so afraid of you become addicted to. I'm addicted to being uncomfortable." — Megan Fox. [NY Daily News via Wonderland Magazine]

• Guess what? Lindsay Lohan borrowed $2 million worth of jewels from Beverly Hills store XIV Karats and never returned them.

She's saying the jewelry was in her safe, which, as we know, was recently ripped out of the wall and stolen. Something fishy here? [Radar Online]

• Lindsay and Samantha Ronson: Moving at the same time. They're sick of the paparazzi outside of their respective houses. Lindsay will move into a luxury high-rise building, where there's a doorman and she will feel "safer." Sam is also moving into a high-rise, but not the same building. [E!]
• Brody Jenner and Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis were in an "epic fight" outside of a club in LA. Inside, Brody and his girlfriend Jayde Nicole saw Joe harassing a woman they knew; Jayde threw a drink on Joe; Joe pulled Jayde's hair and punched her in the face. Brody was yelling at Joe and they both got thrown out of the club. Once outside, Brody punched Joe in the face, then someone tased him. [TMZ]
• Joe Francis is wanted for questioning in the assault of Jayde Nicole. he allegedly grabbed her by the hair, punched her, threw her to the ground and kicked her. [Radar Online]
• As mentioned last night, Chris Brown went out on the town after court. His probation requires him to "abstain from the use of all alcoholic beverages and stay out of places where they are the chief item of sale." Los Angeles Probation Department Spokeswoman Kari Webb says if Chris did violate probation, "It won't be taken lightly." [E!]
• Britney Spears and Jason Trawick are "cooling off" their relationship. A source says that they are taking some time apart — and that Britney wanted it. Apparently Jason has "always loved her" so he is giving her space, since that's what she asked for. [Ok!]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is in the promotional trailer for her latest single, playing a DJ. This paper calls him a "flop" with "dodgy dance moves." [Daily Mail]
• Is Hilary Duff indulging in some diva behavior on the set of Gossip Girl? A source says she wouldn't come out of her trailer on Tuesday. Maybe she was refusing to work unless she got to kiss Chuck Bass? That's what SOME of us would do. [Page Six]
• Was MJ a stoner? According to a search warrant, marijuana was found in Michael Jackson's home shortly after he died, as well as temazepam, lorzaepam and diazepam — all used to treat sleeplessness. [People]
• Bleaching cream was found in the master bathroom at Michael Jackson's house; but the substance formerly thought to be heroin was not heroin. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe says that all the guys coming out and saying that they could be the father of Michael Jackson's kids just "want their 15 minutes of fame." She said this while at the offices of Dr. Arnold Klein. And while wearing that three wolves howling at a full moon T-shirt. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe has been invited to Michael Jackson's funeral. If she accepts, it will be her first supervised visit with the kids. [NY Post]
• Dr. Arnold Klein will not petition for a role in the upbringing of Michael Jackson's children. His lawyer says Klein got involved because he was concerned about the kids having a normal upbringing not related to show business. Jackson told Klein repeatedly that he wanted his children to have a formal education and not be subjected to the rigors of traveling and performing. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's family will be flying his DNA to a UK clinic. A source says: "With everything that's at stake the last thing the Jackson family need is someone using his sperm to give birth to a child and produce another potential heir to Michael's estate." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's death caused a bump in magazine sales: $55 million in additional newsstand sales for magazine publishers.[MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson had a low credit score. [TMZ]
• Authorities say that Ryan Jenkins didn't start fleeing for the Canadian border until 24 hours after Jasmine Fiore's body was found, and even then he had a three-day head start ahead of cops. [AP]
• Police found blood and evidence of a struggle in Jasmine Fiore's car. [NY Daily News]
• The Divorced Dads show is looking really sad. [Page Six]
• LeAnn Rimes is paying for her husband of seven years, Dean Sheremet, to relocate to New York. He'll have a Tribeca bachelor pad and attend the French Culinary Institute. [NY Daily News]
• Lady Gaga appears in FHM wearing a high-cut latex bodysuit and a come-hither look. Pic at the link. [The Sun]
• From a profile on Joseph Gordon-Levitt: So, who'd be his model, as a director? "It's got to be Obama." Really? As a director? "Of course he's a director, he's exactly a director." He's smiling, but his eyes tell you: he's dead serious. [Guardian]
• Contrary to an earlier report, Derek Jeter is not engaged to Minka Kelly. [NY Daily News]
• Two thousand viewers were polled and around 90% think that Simon Cowell and BBC broadcaster Jonathan Ross are paid far too much. [Daily Mail]
• Daniel Craig will star in psychological thriller Dream House, about a New York publishing exec who relocates his family to a small New England town, only to learn that their new home was the scene of a vicious murder. Jim Sheridan (My Left Foot, In The Name Of the Father) will direct. [Variety]
• Robin Williams will star in Wedding Banned, a Disney flick in which he'll play one-half of a long-divorced couple who kidnap their daughter on her wedding day in order to keep her from making a mistake. [Variety]
• Chelsea Handler on her breakup with boss/boyfriend Comcast CEO Ted Harbert: "I only comment on other people's lives, not my own." [People]
• Keanu Reeves is once again dating Anita Hodson, who he was in a relationship with in 2008. [Daily Express]
• Donna Summer played Coney Island last night and almost all the politicians in New York showed up. [NY Times]
• The new flick Surrogates stars Bruce Willis, but he's not on any of the billboards. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Model Brooklyn Decker — wife of Andy Roddick — will guest star on Ugly Betty. [Page Six]
• Kerry Katona's accountant claims she left him black and blue after attacking him at his office. [Daily Mail]
• "It's ultimately derived from 'steampunk,' which is a look that's based on industrial elements, sort of like what people in the 1800s would imagine the future to look like. I just called the main characters mechanized rag dolls, which isn't as sexy." — Elijah Wood, on the "stitchpunk" characters in 9, the movie for which he voices the main character. [WSJ]
• "I'm playing Julia as Julie's idea of what she was like, so I'm not really 'doing' Julia Child," she says. "While I felt a responsibility to her memory and the legacy of the work she did, I didn't feel I was replicating her because I don't presume to know what she was like. That's my rationalisation, my 'out', because I thought that even if I made a big, glaring mistake with her I'm really only a figment of someone else's imagination." — Meryl Streep, on Julie And Julia. [Telegraph]

• Nene of Real Housewives Of Atlanta has written an autobiography called Never Make The Same Mistake Twice. She gets real snippy about her "friend" Kim Zolciak, saying:

"I'm not sure if she's been clinically diagnosed, but I'm convinced that if she were to lie down on a doctor's couch, a psychiatrist could surmise within minutes that Kim is a wack job. [Kim] without question [is] the most superficial person I have ever come across in my life. If Kim doesn't have labels and nice cars and an expensive home, she will literally die ... gag me with two spoons." [Gatecrasher]

• Unsolicited uterus update: Celine Dion is pregnant with her second child, and this report states that she "conceived with the help of a team of fertility doctors." [Montreal Gazette]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart went to a Kings Of Leon show and nuzzled, cuddled, and just generally had some close contact. All together now: ZOMG Twilight is real. [MSNBC]
• The Brad-Pitt-is-a-pot-connoisseur rumors persist; this time Quentin Taratino claims Pitt pulled out a brick of hash when they were in France to discuss making Inglourious Basterds. [Perez]
• So you know how Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are naked on video with another chick? Dane and Gayheart are planning to sue. [TMZ]
• Eric Dane's lawyer says: "Although the participants are nude, the tape is not a 'sex tape.'" [People]
• Eric Dane and Kari Ann Peniche, the third woman on the video, both say they did not have sex with each other. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan didn't look happy to see her father at an event Saturday night. When questioned about it, she said: "I'm closer to my mother." And! Michael Lohan has backed off of his intense criticism of Samantha Ronson: "I was misled by people who had their own agenda," he says. "I was wrong and I'm very sorry. I wish the best for them." [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman has some pretty choice quotes in this E! interview. She says: "I have lost my happiness through this all… I've been the sacrificial lamb in this situation." And! She calls TLC "the lying channel." On Kate Major: "Cuckoo, cuckoo," She also says: "It's a dirty, dirty world. Bamboozling, this world. I didn't know any of this would happen. If I wanted fame, don't you think I would be out all the time? I stay in my house. I've been staying home with my parents because I feel safe there." [E!]
• Paula Abdul is in "talks" about returning to American Idol. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Reports that Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are engaged: Not true. [Mirror]
• Blair Waldorf Leighton Meester seen dancing on a table. [Page Six]
• Ugly Betty cutie Mark Indelicato, 15 (he plays Justin) showed designer Carolina Herrera some sketches for a denim line he's planning to create during a tour of her showroom. She offered him an internship on the spot. [Gatecrasher]
• The creepy character charged with attempting to stalk Miley Cyrus — and who told a cop he was "secretly engaged" to marry her — will be in court today. [AP]
• Amy Winehouse is packing up the weavehive and heading to Miami, where she'll finally finish her third album. If the U.S. lets her in, that is. [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: Katherine Jackson is thinking about filing a wrongful death suit concerning son Michael Jackson. Target of the lawsuit? Dr. Conrad Murray. [TMZ]
• "Heath Ledger's Joker 'exacerbates stereotypes about mental health'…
  Heath Ledger's Oscar-winning depiction of the Joker in the latest Batman film gives the public the wrong impression of people with mental health problems, charities have warned." [Telegraph]
• During a U2 concert, Bono called his Bosnian passport one of his most treasured possessions. He got it in 1997 when U2 performed in Sarajevo. Now Bosnia's Council of Ministers would like to take it away. [Telegraph]
• Alaskans are mad at Jewel for canceling shows years ago. She's scheduled to perform there this week, but some residents are holding a grudge, saying she betrayed her state. [AP]
• James McAvoy will star in I'm With Cancer, alongside Seth Rogen, who is producing. [Variety]
• Rapper Bow Wow: officially out of retirement; officially joined the Cash Money record label, home of Lil' Wayne. [Reuters]
• John Cleese's divorce: £12 million settlement. [Telegraph]
• Paul Hogan made a movie and didn't pay his extras, say the extras. [News.com.au]
• Whatshisname wants Whatshername not to use the kids against him. [The Sun]
• Whatshername was voted most annoying celebrity Twitter user. [The Sun]
• "There are many times where even I, at certain points in the evening, after a few drinks, can't pronounce my own surname." — Milla Jovovich. [Daily Express]
• "I love acting with men. I tend to gravitate toward roles in movies where I get to be the only girl." — Zoe Saldana, who appeared in Star Trek and will be in James Cameron's Avatar. [Vanity Fair]
• "Yes, I was a stripper — let the judgments ensue. I'm not ashamed. What difference does it make if I danced or not? Is the sun going to stop shining? Is my past taking food out of your mouth? My son was in private school, his father wasn't chipping in for pull-ups or food, I had no job and no money coming in, the rent was past due, and the super told me and my roommate that our condo owner was about to put us out. It was about survival." — Nene, of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. [Gatecrasher]

• Mel Gibson's pregnant girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva says she wants the public to get to know her (now that she has an album coming out), adding, "I thought he was happily married until I was reassured otherwise. And then it happened..."

• "It's not like I was planning to meet Mel specifically. Life happens," she said. "I'd like to be judged if so, by my art, by my music. That's primarily why I'm here. Of course, if the tabloids wrote the truth about most of people, maybe it would be really boring... How can I be judged for falling in love? We live in the same city. I don't control who I meet. I meet many people in art and music and film, but love is inexplicable." [Reuters]
• Jon Gosselin defended his new look on Jon and Kate Plus 8 last night, saying, "It's just the way I've always been expressing myself. Things are just coming out a lot more now... This is who I am and this is who I'm gonna be." He said he's had his ears pierced since he was 15 and just decided to start wearing earrings again. He added, "It's not a midlife crisis. Everyone thinks it's a midlife-I'm nowhere near midlife. I'm 32-years old. I've always liked motorcycles and cars and fast things and I have four tattoos." [E!]
• A source says Kate Gosselin understands she needs Jon and Kate Plus 8 as a source of income, but Jon Gosselin doesn't. "Jon thinks that he's bigger than ‘Jon & Kate,' but he isn't and it's frustrating to her," said the source. "He needs to focus and make sure the show does well so the family can be well." [MSNBC]
• After Miley Cyrus' pole-dancing routing on the Teen Choice Awards she was criticized on Twitter as "the next Britney Spears." Miley responded by Tweeting, "For all the people calling me the 'next Britney,' THANK U. I couldn't ask for a better compliment :)" [MSNBC]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are officially back together. Linds surprised Sam in Chicago this past weekend by taking her out for her birthday. Later they went to a club and an eyewitness saw them "fighting over which drink belonged to whom." [N.Y. Post]
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper boarded a flight from New York to Barcelona together and have been seen together at hotels in New York and Los Angeles. [N.Y. Post]
• When asked if she'd like to work with Brad Pitt again, Angelina Jolie said, "I would love to, but we have a lot of kids to raise," and added that they will "always" want more children. [E!]
• Naked photos of Twilight's Ashley Greene are going around the internet. Her lawyer has confirmed the photos are real and says she's planning to sue. [TMZ]
• The mayor of Laglio, the Italian town George Clooney lives in, is imposing a €19 on people who stalk Clooney saying, "We've arrived at the point when hordes of people are yelling his name from the street at the top of their voices. Some of the cheekier ones are even going up and ringing the bell." [The Independent]
• Jay-Z will appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show, prompting rumors that Oprah lifted her 10 year ban on rappers and made a deal with Beyonce when she was on the show last season. A rep denied both stories. [MSNBC]
• Oprah has committed the sin of eating, despite announcing earlier this year that she's watching her weight. She took girls from her school in South Africa to New York and ate shrimp fajitas and potato skins at Planet Hollywood in New York. [N.Y. Post]
• Sources say Sadie Frost is furious that ex Jude Law got Samantha Burke pregnant because seeing their dad in the news is upsetting their three children. "It's really hard for the children and they're her main concern," said a source. "She is deep down furious with Jude – not for having the fling but for being irresponsible – and wants him to pay whatever it takes to keep the family protected from further embarrassment." [Daily Express]
• Jessica Simpson's arrival in Tokyo on Sunday coincided with two earthquakes and a tropical storm. She Tweeted: "Thought I was hallucinating. I have never felt anything like this in my life. Laying in bed watching CNN." [The Sun]
• After returning from North Korea, Bill Clinton had his staff call Sony and ask for a screener of The Ugly Truth. [E!]
• ABC's entertainment president has responded to Katherine Heigl's public whining about long days on Grey's Anatomy saying, "I think it's unfortunate... People are going to behave in the way they choose to behave. There are so many people who work so hard on ‘Grey's,' and all of our shows, without any notoriety and those are the ones I'd be concerned about, people who feel like they're being criticized or looked down upon." [MSNBC]
• Simon Cowell is finalizing a deal to continue judging American Idol for at least three years. [Reuters]
• Victoria Beckham got a new tattoo on her wrist to celebrate her 10-year marriage to David Beckham with a tattoo that says "together forever, eternally" in Hebrew. [Daily Mail]
• Lady Gaga got a tattoo on the inside of her upper arm in German. "It says 'In the deepest hour of the night, confess to yourself that you would die if you were forbidden to write. And look deep into your heart where it spreads its roots, the answer, and ask yourself, must I write?'" she said. [N.Y. Daily News]
• The IRS has placed liens on two New Orleans properties Nicolas Cage put up for sale. When the property is sold the IRS must be paid over $6.26 million dollars because Cage didn't pay his income tax in 2007 and didn't pay enough between 2002 and 2004. [Nola]
• Paul Reubens will star in a stage version of The Pee-wee Herman Show in Hollywood. Many of the original cast including Miss Yvonne, Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie will return. [Variety]
• Katie Price had a ruined the vow renewal ceremony of her make-up artist Gary Cockerill and Phil Taylor by climbing onstage and screaming at the guests, "You're all fucking cunts," then announcing that ex Peter Andre is a "fucking asshole." [The Sun]
• Pete Doherty will appear in court today to face drunk driving charges. He previously plead not guilty to dangerous and drunk driving but admitted to drug possession charges and not having a license or insurance. [The Mirror]
• Candy Spelling says, "I have been trying and I'm never going to stop trying to reconcile with Tori. I love her. She is my child." She also insists that while Tori Spelling's TV show made it look like she just didn't show up to her granddaughter's birthday party, she actually emailed Tori on the day of the party to cancel. [OK]
• When asked about Candy Spelling's claim that her grandchildren are being used as "reality show props," Tori Spelling pretended she hadn't read her mom's recent statement but husband Dean McDermott said, "We don't use our children as props, we take really good care of our children, we love our children... everyone's entitled to their opinion." [TMZ]
• Leighton Meester and Sebastian Stan are getting serious. A friend says they're planning on moving in together soon and this weekend they went to a club with Demi Moore and his Spread co-star Ashton Kutcher. [N.Y. Post]
• The Georgia home of Lisa Wu-Hartwell of Real Housewives of Atlanta and her husband, football player Edgerton Hartwell was foreclosed on last week. Their rep says, "Ed and Lisa are fine. They have settled in their [new] home, that sits on 10 acres and they OWN it!" [TMZ]
• Thom Yorke says Radiohead may release single songs but won't be making another album anytime soon because, "we've all said that we can't possibly dive into that again. It'll kill us." He added, "None of us want to go into that creative hoo-ha of a long-play record again. Not straight off." [BBC]
• Country duo Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn posted a message on their website saying they've agreed to "call it a day" after 20 years of performing together. Brooks & Dunn will release a greatest hits album next month and do a final tour in 2010. [AP]
• Diane Kruger, who is dating Joshua Jackson, said she's not interested in marrying again because her first marriage ended in divorce. She explained, "I felt terribly responsible for someone else's feelings and their life. It's painful to love each other but not be able to be together." [Daily Express]
• "I'm glad I'm not coming up now. I would never be able to deal with that kind of media attention that these actors do now. I really feel fortunate that I lived my life and raised my family and did all of that without being hounded." — Jessica Lange [E!]
• On the show Who Do You Think You Are Kim Cattrall discovered her grandfather was married to two women at the same time. "I knew he was gutsy, but now he's a criminal. Unbelievable," said Cattrall, "I'm quite angry about that. As a woman I find that quite despicable." [Daily Mail]

• There's a rumor going around that Lady Gaga is intersex. Supposedly she said, "It's not something that I'm ashamed of, just isn't something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia..."

"But I consider myself a female. It's just a little bit of a penis and really doesn't interfere much with my life. The reason I haven't talked about it is that its not a big deal to me. Like, come on. It's not like we all go around talking about our [genitalia]. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple-gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I'm sexy, I'm hot. I have both. Big fucking deal." There's no link to where the quote came from, but there is also an upskirt video from one of her concerts that shows a bulge in her underwear (that may just be bunched up underwear). [Chicago Now, MTV]

• Lady Gaga's manager says, "This is completely ridiculous." [ABC News]
• Gawker has the video in question here. They think it's a publicity stunt started by Lady Gaga. [Gawker]
• Samantha Ronson celebrated her 32nd birthday last night at a restaurant with Lindsay Lohan. As they were leaving, one of the paparazzi says, "No more fighting right? and Linds replies, "Tell her that, not me." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin went out to a bar last night with Hailey Glassman. He brought along a bodyguard who eyewitnesses say was a "total dick to everyone." [Perez Hilton]
• Jon and Hailey were openly hugging and kissing at the bar and kept ducking out for smoke breaks. At one point Jon yelled, "Shots for everyone!" [Radar Online]
• An autopsy shows that cocaine use contributed to the heart disease that killed Billy Mays in June. The report says he last used cocaine days before his death, and though he died of heart disease, the drug was a contributing factor. [WDSU]
• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore's plane was force to make an emergency landing in Las Vegas yesterday. Ashton Tweeted: "My plane just had to do an emergency landing. Engine over heated. Fire engines everywhere - good times. Happy to be alive." [The Sun]
• Kristen Stewart's boyfriend Michael Angarano and a girl who was not Kristen were seen chatting at a bar, then going home together. [Perez Hilton]
• Meanwhile, Kristen Stewart may have been having a rendez-vous with Robert Pattinson in Hollywood, if you believe this blurry picture of two people getting into a taxi is really them. [Perez Hilton]
• Willy DeVille, Oscar-nominated songwriter and founder of the punk group Mink DeVille died yesterday of pancreatic cancer at the age of 58. [Associated Press]
• Renee Zellweger has been sneaking into Bradley Cooper's NYC hotel. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Michael Jackson's insurance policy, which was supposed to cover tens of millions of dollars in losses if he died, is probably worthless because it did not cover death related to illegal drug use. [TMZ]
• Law enforcement sources say the toxicology report on Michael Jackson shows he had a lethal amount of Propofol in his system, as well as Xanax. [TMZ]
• Another law enforcement source says Dr. Conrad Murray gave Michael Jackson multiple sedatives and an anesthetic MJ used to sleep. The sedatives were benzodiazepines, which are used to calm patients before surgery. [Associated Press]
• On Wednesday in New York, Kanye West rapped about his confrontation with TMZ phototgraphers at LAX last year, for which he has been charged with criminal battery, vandalism, and grand theft. He said, "Who doesn't think it's illegal, TMZ? And I have to pay $100,000 to the photographer that said I broke his arm, but I was just breaking your fucking camera, I wasn't tryin' do you no harm." TMZ says they have not received 100K from Kanye. [TMZ]
• Kanye West declared recently that he won't be giving interviews anymore, and he kept his word after Wednesday's performance. When a reporter tried to ask him questions he just changed the topic to his model girlfriend Amber Rose saying, "she just did her first shoot for Ford." [Perez Hilton]
• Just so you know, Sherri Shepherd won't be getting a breast reduction. "I don't care how old they get and how long they get, I'm going to love my boobs. I'd never get rid of them." [People]
• Ashley Judd has enrolled in Harvard's John F. Kennedy School of Government for a master's degree in in public administration. [E!]
• Donna Quinter, wife of Monkees singer Micky Dolenz, was arrested today on charges that she defrauded and affordable housing program in New York by illegally taking $136,866 in government rental subsidies that was intended for middle-income families in danger of being forced out of their homes due to gentrification. [Associated Press]
• Whitney Port went sunbathing in Central Park in her bra (which is probably actually a bathing suit) and had a nipple slip, which this website thinks people should see. [Egotastic]
• Naomi Campbell went out to dinner last night in what looks like a Native American Halloween costume, complete with a feather headband. [TMZ]
• Gerri Halliwell celebrated her 37th brithday last night by bar hopping with fellow former Spice Girl Emma Bunton. [Perez Hilton]
• The NTSB has released photos and a log of the intra-cockpit communication from their investigation into the plane crash involving DJ AM and Travis Barker. Pilots heard strange noises before the crash, but the agency is still months away from releasing the final report on the cause of the crash. [TMZ]
• No one at American Idol has talked to Paula Abdul since she Tweeted her farewell, but sources say she'll come back if the show gives her $10 million a year. Auditions start next week. [TMZ]
• Katy Perry will guest judge an episode of American Idol this season. [The Daily Mail]
• Victoria Beckham says of Simon Cowell, "I like that fact that's he's honest. I think he's very funny... He has a very tongue-in-cheek British sense of humor, which I have too. I'm looking forward to a bit of banter [guest judging American Idol]. I hope he does give me a little bit of a hard time. I love that. I feed off of that." [People]
• Tori Spelling's husband Dean McDermott says, "I'd love to be on Dancing with the Stars. It looks like the scariest thing in the world.... I'm a huge fan of the show and it looks like a lot of hard work. I tend to gravitate towards anything that's a challenge." [People]
• Daniel Baldwin and his wife Joanne welcomed their second child on Friday, a girl named Finley Rae Martineau Baldwin. [People]
• Cindy Crawford and Sting ran into each other while vacationing in St. Tropez. An onlooker said, "They looked very pleased to see each other and happily posed for pictures. They both said they didn't realise the other was also on holiday in the area." [The Sun]
• Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan got matching tattoos that spell out "side by side" in Balinese on their honeymoon. "It was a joint decision," said Tatum, "We always wanted to get a tattoo of something together." [People]
• Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry says he doesn't know if the band will keep their tour going because Steven Tyler injured himself when he fell offstage at a concert on Wednesday. Perry didn't say anything specific about Tyler's condition, but said, "We still don't know if we're going to keep the tour up or what. It's breaking my heart." [Associated Press]
• The planned Broadway musical of Spiderman is on hiatus because the production is out of money. It's currently budgeted at $45 million. Supposedly U2, which is scoring the show, is mad at director Julie Taymor for driving up the costs. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Taiwanese actor and pop star Jay Chou has been cast as Kato in Seth Rogen's Green Hornet movie. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Here's the trailer for It's Complicated, which thankfully isn't a film about Denise Richards. The romantic comedy abotu 50-something divorcees stars Meryl Streep, Steve Martin, and Alec Baldwin. [N.Y. Magazine]
• "I love my success... I love that people know me and say hello. Tell me the downside. When people talk about the burdens of success, you want to spit in their fucking face." — Joan Rivers[N.Y. Magazine]
• "I'm a big coward and I'm really afraid of live audiences. I used to really want to do stage one day and then the last couple of years I've done some presenting at awards show. I was so nervous I thought I was going to be sick, so I don't think me on stage for any length of time would work because I would inevitably throw up, and that would be embarrassing." — Katherine Heigl [N.Y. Magazine]
• "Looking good to me has always been because of the amount of sex I'm getting! I've hardly ever been a member of a gym and I can't follow diets," says Pamela Anderson. "When I'm not in a relationship and not — hypothetically speaking of course - having lots of sex how do I keep fit? Oh I don¹t know. I can't remember!... Oh I know... I jump up and down a lot!" [The Sun]
• "Matt Weiner, the creator, had thought of Joan as pinched and tightly wound, but she's more of a sort of sexual character. I just went in and did the character as I had read her, which was bossy, brassy, everyone-listen-to-me. And then when wardrobe got involved, doing the pilot, I put on this dress, and all of the sudden I had a different walk than I normally had, and Matt turned to me and said, 'That's Joan.' I have my hair brought up a couple inches, and I have heels. I look like an Amazon." — Christina Hendricks [Esquire]

[Los Angeles, August 6. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

(click to enlarge)

• Samantha Ronson reportedly returned home at 5am last night to find that Lindsay Lohan had been waiting on her stoop for hours. The paparazzi caught Linds crying, demanding to know where Sam had been, and shrieking, "I'm your girlfriend!"

• Lindsay had apparently been waiting with an anonymous friend who Sam kicks out saying, "She's on my property, I don't know her, I want her out." The girl leaves and Lindsay follows Sam into the house, slamming the door behind her. Video here: [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have split, reports US. "Nobody cheated," said a source. Didn't they just go to Africa together? [US]
• A car Katie Holmes was sitting in on the Australian set of Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark started sparking and burst into flames seconds after she got out due to a problem with the car battery. "Katie was very shaken by the ordeal," said a source. "She took the rest of the day off while special effects staff looked over the faults. Katie has filmed scenes since but it has made her think about her safety on set. She will be shooting the same scene at a later date." [The Daily Mail]
• "A source very, very, very, very close to Jon Gosselin" revealed exclusively to RadarOnline.com that Jon is secretly still dating both Hailey Glassman AND Kate Major." Two things: is the source "very, very, very, very close to Jon" Jon Gosselin? Also, if this is how Jon keeps a secret what's his version of a public announcement? Is he going to go door to door introducing us to his new girlfriend? [Radar Online]
• A reporter Kate Major used to intern for at Chicago Now says Kate told her she and Jon Gosselin are together but he "can't talk" right now due to his "situation," meaning his pending divorce and contract with TLC. [Chicago Now]
• Tony Romo has instructed security to keep Jessica Simpson out of his Dallas home. A sign at the entrance to his gated community reads "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN....JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS." [Us]
• Here's some good news: Rihanna's rep says that though she and Chris Brown stayed at the same hotel over the weekend, it was just a coincidence and they're not back together. Maybe she can explain that concept to Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart fans too. [MSNBC]
• A parole hearing took place today for the man who killed Kelsey Grammer's sister in 1975 in an attempted robbery. Grammer tried to attend the hearing but his flight was delayed, so he wrote a letter saying his sister was "smart and good and decent," and "I can never escape the horror of what happened" to her ... "Please do not release this man from prison." The parole board decided Karen Grammer's murderer will stay in prison for at least another five years. [TMZ]
• Kelly Clarkson's new single "Already Gone" has the same backing track as Beyonce's "Halo" and Clarkson says it's all the her music producer's fault. "No one's gonna be sittin' at home, thinking 'Man, Ryan Tedder gave Beyonce and Kelly the same track to write to ... no, they're just gonna be saying I ripped someone off," she said. [TMZ]
• The I.R.S has filed a $7,373 tax lien against P.Diddy's Atlanta restaurant Justin's Restaurant. Diddy says it's all a big mistake: the I.R.S. was sending notices to his identically named restaurant in New York that closed a few years ago. [The Detroit News]
• Tito Jackson has confirmed that Michael Jackson's body is at Forest Lawn cemetery. [Entertainment Tonight]
• Debbie Rowe just showed up at the Beverly Hills office of her former boss Dr. Arnold Klein, supposedly to visit another doctor who works in Klein's office. [TMZ]
• Fans at a Jonas Brothers concert this weekend concluded that Joe Jonas broke up with Camilla Belle after he changed the lyrics to a few songs and appeared to cry during the song "Camp Rock." [The Mirror, Perez Hilton]
• Now Camilla Belle's rep has confirmed the breakup explaining, "There is no third party involved and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends." [People]
• BREAKING: Victoria Beckham went to dinner with her hair in a bun. [The Telegraph]
• Sacha Baron Cohen has been threatened by the group of Palestinian terrorists featured in Bruno. A representative for The Martyrs Brigades released a statement saying they are "very upset" and will "respond in a suitable way." [The Telegraph]
• Lost creators Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof dropped some spoilers about season six at Comic Con, which you can read about here: [N.Y. Magazine]
• We're learning more fascinating details about Jennifer Lopez's 40th birthday party on Saturday night. Liza Minnelli, Gayle King, and various Lopez family members were in attendance, and a witness says J.Lo and Marc Anthony "were affectionate with each other and obviously loving the night. Marc's arm was around Jennifer a lot, they'd give each other pecks on the face every now and then. She was clearly pleased with how the night went." [People]
• Entertainment Tonight just figured out that Mischa Barton has been released from psychiatric evaluation (even though Us reported it last week.) [Entertainment Tonight]
• Joel Madden says he's working on a memoir about his experience with kids, relationship, and moving to L.A., "but I don't want to put a book out there if it's not actually meaningful. I'm not going to go there unless I can deliver." [People]
• Robert Downey Jr. will star opposite Zach Galifianakis in Due Date, a comedy about an expectant father (Downey) trying to get to the birth of his first child. Director Todd Philips of The Hangover describes it as "a buddy comedy without the buddies." [Yahoo]
• Robert Downey Jr. said he thinks he and Jude Law have a special chemistry in Sherlock Homes, joking, "It's called circumstantial homosexuality." He added that even in real life, "We just became really close really quickly, because we just rolled up our sleeves and started working from jump." [People]
• Tobey Maguire wrote a letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senator Tom Harkin saying, "As a parent, I am contacting you because I am deeply concerned that unhealthy school lunches are contributing to our nation's childhood obesity epidemic. My wife and I just had our second child, so this issue is tremendously important to us…Let me ask you please to ensure the Child Nutrition Act provides more fruits, vegetables, and healthy vegetarian foods. Young people deserve healthful food, and I can't imagine a better investment in the future of our country." [Politico]
• "I haven't chosen any other action films since Kill Bill because I felt that everything else just sort of paled by comparison. I don't like to get lulled into some hole that I can't get out of." — Uma Thurman [The Daily Express]
• Megan Fox says she's too afraid to watch horror movies, but she enjoyed starring in Jennifer's Body because, "For me to be able to play something that I would normally be frightened by was really intriguing and interesting... It's cool to see myself being able to scare people because I'm just a little girl." [People]

• According to this report, Samantha Ronson went out with Sopranos actress Drea De Matteo last night, got into a fight with Lindsay Lohan about it, and threw LL's clothes out into the street.

Can't really tell if the supposedly illustrative pictures at the link actually reflect that, but whatever. [Daily Mail]

• Oy: Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is working with VH1 on a new reality show costarring his girlfriend, Victoria Prince, and his kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Just what the world needs. [E!]
• Meanwhile, Britney's conservatorship might be coming to an end, when her tour winds down in November. She seems like she's doing pretty good, no? [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton's model-centric CW show, The Beautiful Life, will go on with or without her — which means that producers are casting a new recurring character as a Plan B., in case Mischa is not ready for filming the last week of July. [EW]
• Madonna is in Marseilles, where she visited with the victims of the stage collapse which left two dead. She met with the widow of a worker and also went to the hospital where eight injured workers are being treated. [Daily Mail]
• Burn Notice actor Jeffrey Donovan was arrested for DUI in Miami Beach. Nice stubble in the mug shot. [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman were seen hanging out in an upstate New York park, and "They kept stopping to make out - and they made out a lot." [Gatecrasher]
• The reporter Jon Gosselin had dinner with over the weekend often "uses her charms" to get stories, and sometimes wears wigs when she follows celebrities, so as not to be recognized. [Page Six]
• "Are Kate Gosselin and Madonna workout buddies? The Jon & Kate star has arms that mirror Madge's." [NY Daily News]
• It's official: Emma Watson will attend Brown University in the fall. [People]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy: Engaged! [Page Six]
• When Heidi Klum was followed by paparazzi as she took her kids to a NYC park last week, it was other parents at the park who were pissed: They asked the snappers to leave, and when the photographers didn't, the moms and dads threw water balloons at them. [Daily Express]
• Sienna Miller has seen her GI Joe action figure, and she is not impressed. "My doll is cross-eyed and has the biggest chin you have ever seen. Action figures are always a bit off, aren't they? Oddly enough from side on, it is definitely me but front on she looks sort of possessed." [The Sun]
• Here's a video of Katherine Heigl talking about T.R. Knight going to do Broadway now that he's not on Grey's Anatomy: "That really pisses me off," she says. [E!]
• David Beckham's coach is criticizing the player for confronting jeering fans at the first home game of the season: "We appreciate our players and fans passion for the team and the game, but we all must aim to hold ourselves to higher standards." [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse's mom says the star is on the road to recovery: "A year ago, everyone was saying: 'Will she get through this, will she even survive?' And look at her now. We've got the old Amy back. I always knew she'd come through it. And I know she doesn't want to go back to the drugs. St Lucia was good in many ways because there were no hard drugs around, but she was bored, so she drank…She's put on a bit of weight and looks better than she has in a long time… She was busy cooking, so that's a good sign that she's actually eating. I think she's pleased to be home and I know she's happier now." [Mirror]
• Bonnie Somerville played Suzie Cavandish in Labor Pains, and she says of Lindsay Lohan: "She is supertalented. I had a great time working with her." [E!]
• A balloon company sent Jennifer Lopez a giant bouquet of balloons for her twins, which she promptly sent back. Maybe the colorful arrangement was not classy enough for Jenny from the block? [TMZ]
• Re: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson: A source says: "Tony pulled the plug because he couldn't stand the constant heat Jessica was putting on him to get married… The final nail in the coffin was an argument they had over how to celebrate Jessica's birthday. She wanted a splashy Ken & Barbie-themed bash with all of her celebrity friends, and Tony wanted a quiet, low-key dinner for just the two of them." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Susan Boyle will appear in an interview on the Today show tomorrow, in which she says of sudden fame: "The impact, like a demolition ball. You know, and anyone who has that kind of impact — finds it really hard to get a head around it. I guess I had to get my head around it, but through the — the guidance of a great team, and they are very good, I was able to see that in perspective and really turn that around a little." [Reuters]
• "Harry Potter's love interest rivals Emma Watson in fashion stakes… Emma Watson finally has competition as the most glamourous Harry Potter screen siren after Bonnie Wright who plays Ginny Weasley was photographed looking equally spellbinding." [Telegraph]
• Mark Lester, godfather of Michael Jackson's children, claims that after the memorial service, 7-year-old Blanket Jackson seemed confused about what was going on. "It is obvious to me that Blanket is still unsure about what exactly happened to his father.He said, 'Where's Daddy gone? On holiday?' It was a rhetorical question and it broke my heart." [Mirror]
• The Jackson family is still "agonizing" over the decision of where to bury the King of Pop, but his body is "temporarily interred" at Forest Lawn Memorial-Park and Mortuary in Los Angeles. [People]
• Joe Jackson was on Larry King Live, where he seemed to blame Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death: "The doctor gave him something to make him rest, and then he don't wake up no more. Something is wrong there," Joe said. [AP]
• Another report claiming that Katherine Jackson is being manipulated to dispute Michael's will. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says the rumor that he wants to take Michael's kids on tour as the Jackson 3 is "a bunch of jive." And when asked if he was abusive to Michael when he was a kid, he said: "That's a bunch of bull S." [CNN]
• August 29 would have been Michael Jackson's 51st birthday, and there may be two tribute concerts at London's O2 Arena in August to celebrate. [TMZ]
• Russell Brand. Goat farming. [RussellBrand.TV]
• Ciara is on the cover of Social Life magazine, but she skipped the party for the isue in East Hampton because she had a chance to go into the studio with Justin Timberlake. Social Life editor Devorah Rose has a much lengthier explanation, which you can read at the link if you wish. [Observer]
• There was some chaos at Chace Crawford's birthday party because the prettyboy didn't want to pose for photos. What the hell are we going to paste in our scrapbooks, hmm? [Page Six]
• Will Lizzie Grubman be on Real Housewives Of New York? Short answer: No. [Page Six]
• Jorja Fox: Returning to CSI. [UPI]
• Nicolas Cage is in talks to play the villain in The Green Hornet. Cameron Diaz is negotiating to play a reporter and love interest; Seth Rogen will star. [Variety]
• Uma Thurman will star in Girl Soldier, an indie film about a cleric who helped rescue 140 schoolgirls abducted in Uganda. [Variety]
• "Tyler Perry is paying for 65 children from a Philadelphia day camp to go to Walt Disney World after reading about allegations that a suburban swim club had shunned them because of racism." [AP]
• Ryan O'Neal says he is dealing with Farrah Fawcett's death by answering condolence notes from her fans. [UPI]
• Ryan O'Neal is also spilling about what Redmond O'Neal's last words were to his mother Farrah Fawcett on her death bed, which is maybe a little too intimate. [People]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur is still blogging her "weight-loss journey," although this week, it's "I Fell Off the Diet Wagon." Tons and tons of candy, thanks to her son's first birthday party. [People]
• Jamie Waylett, who plays Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter movies, has been ordered to do 120 hours of community service after admitting to growing 10 cannabis plants at his mother's house. [Daily Mail]
• "Bruce Lee's older sister and younger brother have authorized a Chinese company to make a series of biographical films about the late kung fu icon, saying they want to produce a historically accurate account of their brother's life." [AP]
• Whatshisname says he and Whatshername don't let the kids see them fight. [Mirror]
• Whatshisname fell off a stage, btw. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which indie starlet secretly has a house decorated entirely with Alice in Wonderland paraphernelia?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would daydream about it all the time. I thought about the fact that there were children who didn't have anything, and I felt like I could help. It was something that weighed on me. It was something I did for the world and for my son and then for me." — Mary Louise Parker always knew she would adopt someday. [People]
• "It was fun. It was a new experience for me just to take my clothes off on camera. So to be able to scream, to be hysterical, to act out all that suffering and all those tears… well, it's not something you get to do every day." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on controversial and violent film Antichrist. [Telegraph]
• "I'd like to go on record that he is a gentleman. He has not touched me in a bad place once." — Judd Apatow, on Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "It's a coincidence. It's from a book called Once is Not Enough by Jacqueline Susann. Bad book… People think that I changed my name. I could've been an actress, a superhero, or a stripper." — January Jones, on her name and being born in January. Also, click to see her on the cover of Interview! [JustJared via Interview]
• "The double-edged sword of working with family is it can be the most fulfilling experience you've ever had, but the flip side is it can also be the most tortuous and most stressful, because it's your family and the lines can get blurry." — Shaun Cassidy, who, along with brothers Ryan, David and Patrick, is starring in a new ABC Family show, Ruby & The Rockits. [LA Times]
• "Stand-up is good when you're rolling. When it goes down you feel like 'why the hell did I come here?' and the same thing in acting. If it's not clicking you feel like an ass." — Adam Sandler. [Mirror]
• "This project was rife with opportunities for me to fuck it up enormously and, by doing so, prove my own limitations. To botch the whole thing would have been calamitous." — Hugh Dancy, on Adam, the film about a man with Asperger's. [BlackBook]
• "I see a lot myself in him, he is a Cancer, just like I am. I would love to meet him. He makes me smile just when I see him." — Lil' Kim on Nelson Mandela. [Mirror]

• Last night Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson called a locksmith because Sam lost her house keys. While he was working Lindsay found an open window crawled in. The locksmith asked for his $39 fee, but Lindsay wouldn't pay.

• Lindsay gave him $20, then she and Sam locked themselves in the house and refused to give him the other $19. [TMZ]
• Authorities have revised the price of the jewels stolen from a Lindsay Lohan photo shoot for British Elle. They were worth $38,500, not $400,000 as was originally estimated. [People]
• Sam Lutfi is suing Britney Spears and her family because he says Lynne Spears' claims in her book that he ground up pills into Brit's food are untrue. He says that as a result he's "constantly in fear for my life" and is "harassed and cajoled by the public." [TMZ]
• The Jackson family is fighting over where to bury Michael Jackson. Jermaine Jackson wants Michael buried at Neverland, but local laws prohibit a burial on private property. He could be cremated and his ashes spread at Neverland, but Katherine Jackson is against it. "Michael left Neverland for good, never to return," says a source. "He felt violated by law enforcement after his molestation trial. He felt this place he had built had been tainted. Katherine continues to be her son's protector even after his death." [Radar Online]
• Police sources say the Jackson family gave them a list of doctors they think may have been misprescribing drugs to Michael Jackson and dermatologist/possible sperm donor Arnold Klein's name is on the list. [TMZ]
• After Michael Jackson's memorial service, his sisters La Toya, Janet, and Rebbie went across the street to the Nokia Theater to address the overflow crowd and thank fans for their support. La Toya said: "As you well know, Michael loved his fans more than anyone else in the world. He has always said that his family is first and his fans are second... I know he's watching every last one of you." Janet said: "Thank you for all of your love, all of your support. Michael will live in our hearts forever." You can watch the video here: [TMZ]
• Diana Ross says she didn't attend Michael Jackson's memorial because, "I have decided to pause and be silent. This feels right for me. Michael was a personal love of mine, a treasured part of my world, part of the fabric of my life in a way that I can't seem to find words to express." [UPI]
• John Mayer says he was surprised that the Jackson family invited him to the memorial since he never met Michael Jackson. He said he decided to make orgasm faces in lieu of singing because he doesn't have a strong vocal range. "The decision to not sing is just out of knowing what's best for me," said Mayer. "I think it's quite a mine field to go into trying to in any way replicate vocally what Michael Jackson has done. And in a way, it was sort of respectfully leaving an absence, you know, sort of the presence of his absence." [Us]
• Mariah Carey apologized for her performance at the memorial Tweeting, "Trying to sing today was basically impossible for me. I could barely keep myself from crying. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to pull it together and really do it right, but I was literally choked up when I saw him there in front of me." [The Daily Express]
• According to Nielsen, 31 million people watched Michael Jackson's memorial service on TV. For comparison, 35.1 million watched Ronald Reagan's memorial service and 33.3 million watched Princess Diana's, but no one was watching on the internet back then. [Time]
• Debbie Rowe (like everyone else) cried when she saw Paris Jackson speak at the memorial. A friend who comforted Rowe said, "It was heartbreaking. However strange her relationship with Jacko, she is still Paris' mum. To watch your child so upset on TV in front of millions of people is more than any mum could stand." [The Sun]
• Also not in attendance: Quincy Jones. He said, "I just can't take it anymore, I've lost so many friends over the past years. Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, Michelangelo Antonioni. I just don't want to be standing there looking at some casket." [Variety]
• Paul McCartney says, "Some time ago, the media came up with the idea that Michael Jackson was going to leave his share in the Beatles songs to me in his will which was completely made up and something I didn't believe for a second. Now, the report is that I am devastated to find that he didn't leave the songs to me. This is completely untrue. I had not thought for one minute that the original report was true and, therefore, the report that I'm devastated is also totally false, so don't believe everything you read folks!" [The Mirror]
• Michael Jackson took 10,000 pills in the last six months of his life... according to The National Enquirer. The mag claims he was taking 50 pills a day "for a variety of real and imagined problems." [The National Enquirer]
• Michael Jackson's wax statue at Madame Tussauds in New York City has been on loan to the museum's D.C. branch, but it will be shipped back on Friday. [N.Y. Times]
• Cameron Diaz is in talks to play the female lead in The Green Hornet opposite Seth Rogen. [Hollywood Insider]
• The judge in Kate Walsh's divorce ruled that Alex Young can make ABC president Stephen McPherson sit for a deposition and answer questions about her financial prospects at the network. [TMZ]
• Lorenzo Lamas left his fourth wife, Shauna Sands, when he found out she was sleeping with his son A.J. Lamas, who was 18 at the time, according to a family friend. The family is currently filming a reality show for E! [Star]
• Pink on husband Carey Hart: "Everything is good again now and we're having a blast. Carey and I spend a lot of time wrestling in our hotel room. We have naked dance parties too. It's so much fun. We have a lot of fun together. He's so yummy." [The Sun]
• Check out a 30 second preview of Beyonce's video for "Sweet Dreams" at the link. It's yet another variation on the "two backup dancers and leotards" theme but this time they're wearing shorts. [The Life Files]
• Ryan Gosling and his friend Zach Shields will release their debut album in October under the name Dead Man's Bones. [People]
• Lita Ford is coming out with a new album called Wicked Wonderland in September. [Rolling Stone]
• HBO will air Robin Williams' comedy special Weapons of Self-Destruction, which was filmed on his recent tour. [N.Y Times]
• Bruno isn't as bad as it looks, according to Australians. It's opening this weekend was the third biggest comedy opening in the country's history, behind Meet the Fockers and Sex and the City. [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
• Vanity Fair has devised a cunning plan to lure in more 14-year-old readers: Robert Pattinson will be on an upcoming cover. The issue will probably come out in the fall to coincide with the release of New Moon. [E!]
• Jodie Sweetin says things are looking up since she filed for separation from her husband Cody Herpin and was accused of substance abuse relapse. "[Cody and I] have managed to work things out a little bit better," she said. "We share custody right now and it's going really well." [People]
• Justine Bateman has resigned her position on SAG's national board, party because of a new contract approved by other members last month. "SAG members ... have now voted up a contract that will cause 50% of the working members to leave the business," she wrote in her resignation letter. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Jessica Biel says she doesn't understand why some stars go out without underwear. "I don't really get that, it's not my thing - I'm a knicker person," she said. "I actually know a handful of people who aren't knicker people, but I don't get it!" Question: Did Jess use the term "knicker" or was her statement translated into British by the newspaper? [The Mirror]
• "I'll be 34 in October. I can't keep getting away with [nudity]. There was so much of it in The Reader because the story required it, but people have seen enough of my bum and my boobs. I have to put them back." — Kate Winslet [People]
• "I've never cared for the idea of a career path, or where a film might "take me". My love is for acting not money, so I only take on roles that I find challenging, in stories I find interesting. I was brought up the Mexican way, where actors are paid very little and every part you take is an act of faith. If people respect that, then great." — Gael Garcia Bernal [The Telegraph]
• Meryl Streep put on weight to play Julia Child. "I gained 15 pounds, I'm still trying to lose it," said Streep. "It was worth it." [People]
• Meryl Streep says of playing Julia Child, who was happily married to Paul Child for nearly 50 years, "When you're playing romantic characters, a great part of my attention has to be that I look really attractive. Obviously you can't play a romantic character if she's not really pretty. What's liberating about these characters is that there's this huge throbbing love between two people who don't look like our normal package of lovers. It made it more real and intimate because somehow those concerns were thrown away. If you've been married for a long time you love without looking. I don't assess how my husband looks every single day and think, Is he cute enough or whatever? And I sure hope he doesn't do it to me!" [Ladies' Home Journal]

• Are Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake on the rocks? "Things don't look good for them right now - they've hit a really rocky spot," says a source. The couple have been dating for two years. [NYDN]

• "Justin had to leave dinner once because Jessica was calling him incessantly. They got into a huge screaming match over the phone about how she's always ‘checking up' on him. She's extremely needy and is always keeping tabs on him," says a source, "All his friends think she's really annoying," added the source. "She's always trying to be one of the guys. She and Justin have no chemistry. Justin is partying in London right now. Jessica wanted to go with him, but he wasn't having it. He just wanted to get away with the guys. He needed his space from her." [NYDN]
• Contrary to earlier reports which claimed that Debbie Rowe was seeking custody of her biological children with Michael Jackson, her attorney says that Rowe "has not reached a final decision concerning the custody proceedings." [USWeekly]
• "It would be a distortion of the truth to allow that single snapshot of a single conversation, to stand as the truth on Debbie's position on this sensitive matter," says Rowe's attorney, Eric M. George. Rowe was recently quoted stating that she wanted her children, as well as a restraining order to keep them away from Jackson's father, Joe. [USWeekly]
• Meanwhile, Jackson family members are "terrified" that Blanket's (Jackson's third child who currently has no mother listed on his birth certificate) biological mother may come forward: "Any woman who gave birth to a child on Blanket's birth date and then gave him up for adoption could claim they are the mother and get a DNA test to prove it," says a source. [PageSix]
• Is Daria really coming to DVD next year?!? [ONTD]
• Sandra Bullocksays she wasn't nervous about her nude scene with Ryan Reynolds because she knew all eyes would be on Ryan: "So that means no one watched me and no one can criticize me. Watch it again, your eyes go to Ryan. You see, if Ryan got naked now and I got naked now I guarantee you unconsciously people would [look at him] and go ‘oh my God, she's naked too but oh my God'."[ShowbizSpy]
• Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 23rd birthday yesterday with a lunch date with Samantha Ronson. [DailyMail.]
• Johnny Depp says he believes in love at first sight: "I was standing in a hotel in Paris and I saw this back. Literally a back and a neck. And it turned around and looked at me and I was done. That was Vanessa. So two kiddies and 11 years later, I completely understand." [Mirror]
• Depp also recently took time out from his Public Enemies promotional tour to visit sick children at Great Ormond Street hospital—dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, of course. "Johnny was so friendly with all the children on the ward and they absolutely loved his pirate outfit.," says a source, "He spoke to lots of the youngsters and staff - and made their day by posing for pictures with them all." [DailyExpress]
• Amy Winehouse has been banned from swimming at her St. Lucia resort due to staff concerns: ""Staff have found Amy on a number of occasions collapsed on the grass by the pool after going for a swim," says a source, "There are concerns that one night she won't be able to get out of the water and something tragic will happen." [ShowbizSpy]
• Whoops! Rhianna was caught on tape tattooing umbrellas onto three artists at East Side Ink—and she doesn't have a license, which means she could be facing three misdemeanor charges. [TMZ]
• Blind Item: "Which Oscar winner almost ruined a recent date? The starlet had so much to drink, she spent the night getting sick in the bathroom." [BlindGossip]
• Rupert Grint on his kissing scenes with Emma Watson: "I'll be honest with you: it's not something I'd say I'm dreading. Emma's a pretty girl. Have Daniel or I ever hit on Emma? Well, she's quite popular with the cast. As for who has the worst crush on her – me or Radcliffe – I'd rather not say." [Telegraph]

• Michael Jackson's autopsy will be performed today. [TMZ]

• Michael Jackson's brother Jermaine said that a team of doctors tried to resuscitate Michael for an hour. [TMZ]
• This report claims that Michael Jackson had been given an injection of Demerol before he collapsed. "Shortly after taking the Demerol, he started to experience slow, shallow breathing. His breathing gradually got slower and slower until it stopped," a source says. [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson died $500 million in debt. [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's kids are "very upset" but "fine," whatever that means. [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson has reportedly left The Beatles catalog to Paul McCartney. [Spinner]
• Elton John was in the middle of his annual White Tie and Tiara Ball when he found out about Michael Jackson's death, and dedicated "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me" to him. [TMZ]
• Lou Ferrigno had been working as Michael Jackson's trainer for the upcoming tour, and Ferrigno's wife says: "he's in total shock ... he thought he was going to be training Michael tomorrow." [TMZ]
• Liz Taylor is "too devastated" to comment. [E!]
• "The saddest aspect to this tragedy is that so many watched it happen and few did anything to stop it. I pray that Michael's death will not be in vain and that we see a return, even among Hollywood celebrities to the spiritual and family values that are life sustaining." — Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who worked with Michael Jackson on a charity called Heal The Kids. [Extra]
• Madonna had planned to make surprise appearances at Michael Jackson's 50-date shows in London. [Daily Express]
• "I can't stop crying over the sad news. I have always admired Michael Jackson. The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever! My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless." — Madonna. [People]
• "I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news. For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words. Divinity brought our souls together on The Wiz and allowed us to do what we were able to throughout the '80s. To this day, the music we created together on Off The Wall, Thriller and Bad is played in every corner of the world and the reason for that is because he had it all…talent, grace, professionalism and dedication. He was the consummate entertainer and his contributions and legacy will be felt upon the world forever. I've lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him." — Quincy Jones. [ET]
• "We have lost a genius and a true ambassador of not only Pop music but of all music. He has been an inspiration to multiple generations, and I will always cherish the moments I shared with him on stage and all of the things I learned about music from him and the time we spent together. My heart goes out to his family and loved ones." — Justin Timberlake. [People, TMZ]
• "I am so very sad and confused with every emotion possible. I am heartbroken for his children, who I know were everything to him, and for his family. This is such a massive loss on so many levels, words fail me." — Lisa Marie Presley. [People, Extra]
• Priscilla Presley says: "I'm in shock, as I know everyone must be." [Extra]
• "When we worked together on 'Bad,' I was in awe of his absolute mastery of movement on the one hand, and of the music on the other. Every step he took was absolutely precise and fluid at the same time. It was like watching quicksilver in motion." — director Martin Scorcese. "Dazed in the studio. A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ." — John Mayer. Many more quotes from stars at the link. [AP]
• Twitter tributes here, including quotes from Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, Mariah Carey and Kim Kardashian, who had her 14th birthday party at Neverland Ranch and had known Michael Jackson her entire life. [Mirror]
• More quotes from stars here, including Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jaime Foxx and Dionne Warwick. [NY Post]
• "Just as there will never be another Fred Astaire or Chuck Berry or Elvis Presley, there will never be anyone comparable to Michael Jackson. His talent, his wonderment and his mystery make him legend." — Steven Spielberg. [EW]
• "I was so excited to see his show in London. We were going to be on tour in Europe at the same time and I was going to fly in to see him. He has been an inspiration throughout my entire life and I'm devastated he's gone!" — Britney Spears. [E!]
• Will Justin Timberlake step in and do concerts in London to replace some of MJ's O2 gigs? [The Sun]
• Yesterday, a bus full of tourists were driving by Michael Jackson's house to see his front gate — instead they saw paramedics rushing away from the scene. [TMZ]
• Heavy volume — caused by people searching for information about Michael Jackson's death — caused the internet to slow down yesterday. [BBC News]
• Tippi Hedren will take Michael Jackson's tigers. [Extra]
• Somehow this paper has a shot of the paramedics' monitor, which reads: "50 year old male — not breathing at all." Michael Jackson's mom Katherine and his close friend Elizabeth Taylor were among those who rushed to the hospital. [The Sun]
• Flavor Flav showed up to the Jackson family estate and sent regards to Katherine Jackson via intercom, because he was not let in. [TMZ]
• Bands at the Glastonbury Festival this weekend will pay tribute to Michael Jackson — playing covers and talking about the star in their sets. [BBC News]
• Sacha Baron Cohen makes lots of jokes about Michael Jackson (and LaToya) in Brüno. Will the scenes be cut? [The Daily Beast]
• The LaToya/Michael scene was cut for a screening of Brüno last night — but will it be deleted in the film when it hits theaters nationwide? [PopCrunch]
• Online sales of Michael Jackson's hits are soaring. [CBS News]
• Farrah Fawcett died yesterday with longtime love Ryan O'Neal at her side. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown think "it's ridiculous" that they have to stay 50 yards away from each other, since they are "becoming friends." [Gatecrasher]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have checked out of an Ohio hospital with their new twins. Though security at the hospital was tight, a source said "even the nurses" were trying to get a glimpse of the babies. [People]
• Contrary to rumors, Jeff Goldblum and Harrison Ford are not dead. [NY Daily News]
• Despite the divorce developments, Christian publisher Zondervan is still planning on releasing a book by Kate Gosselin titled Love is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories. [USA Today]
• "Kate Gosselin Of Jon & Kate Singing The Blues - In Hot Blue Bikini; Jon Gone, She Shows Off Bod." [NY Daily News]
• Um, Woody Harrelson and Zoe Kravitz hang out? [Page Six]
• Chloe Sevigny wore that "Free The Beatrice" shirt in part because her brother owned the club. [Page Six]
• Rod Stewart was seen rubbing Penny Lancaster's tummy, so clearly she could be expecting a child. [Daily Express]
• Was Men At Work's '80s hit "Down Under" plagiarized from a 1934 children's song? [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which rocker is back on drugs? Although she claims to be clean, when she checked out of a Manhattan hotel recently, the maid found the room littered with dirty needles. [Page Six]
• "I was raised in a very grounded family that came from the South, and I was never much of a party girl. I'm a very low-key person so I like to stay at home and bake, or just walk around the city. I'm addicted to cooking. So I haven't felt tempted [to be a party girl] but if I were to I would think of the obligation I have to the young girls that look up to our show. I feel like there isn't too many great young role models in our business." — Blake Lively. [Independent]
• "Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, and in particular, thank you for giving your aggressive, emotional comments. A blog is meant to get people worked up, and obviously mine is working. Let me clear up a few things..." — Bethenny Frankel is still blogging. [E!]
• "I think it's normal for people to ask my views on motherhood, especially someone my age, because it seems the obvious thing: 'Why haven't you done it yet?' Those questions don't bother me. I force things into shape. I feel fulfilled and loved, and I get to nurture the people in my life. If having children is something that's going to happen in my life, I welcome it. If it doesn't happen, then it wasn't meant to be. I don't declare either way that I will or I won't." — Cameron Diaz. [Daily Mail]
• "Jack Kennedy was one of the handsomest men I have ever laid eyes on. No picture does him justice. I totally regret not having had an affair with him. Who wouldn't? It wasn't up to me, of course." — Oscar-nominated writer-director Nora Ephron, to More. [Page Six]
• "I didn't set out to shock people. I set out to do something different from Potter. If I had wanted to shock people I would have played, you know, a gay drug dealer" — Daniel Radcliffe in Parade on his nude scene in Equus. [Page Six]
• "We thought we'd see him moonwalk one more time." — Reverend Al Sharpton [NY Daily News]