• Someone broke into Kourtney Kardashian's home on Saturday night, taking thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Hollywood: Step up your security! [TMZ]

• As you may know, there's been a rash of burglaries involving young stars this year: Paris Hilton, Audrina Patridge, Hayden Panettiere, Lindsay Lohan and Rachel Bilson's homes have all been broken into in the last 10 months. Oh, and Orlando Bloom was burglarized, too. [People]
• Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are back together, and things are going well: "We just made the decision that we want to make it work, and the time off was really beneficial for the both of us," KK says. "I think sometimes people need to take a break just to take time off to see how much they need each other and how much they really are compatible." [People]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom now have a prenup. He'll keep the $33 million he makes in his 4 year contract with the Lakers. Khloe will get an annual lump sum, which will not go up or down throughout the marriage; and the two will have a joint account. Romantic! [TMZ]
• Hug your neighborhood Goth: Trent Reznor got married on Saturday. [E!]
• Beyoncé has postponed a concert in Malaysia; female performers there must be covered from shoulders to knees, with no cleavage showing. Time to rethink that "Single Ladies" leotard. [AP]
• Lindsay Lohan "shocked" people by being "in control all night" at a party. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love failed to show up in court on Thursday in a case involving Elite Maids and non-payment; the judge ruled against Courtney and she needs to write a check to the cleaning service for $3,058.48. [TMZ]
• Headline of the day: "Paris Hilton Lands Movie Role, Demands Lobsters." [Page Six]
• Stephanie Pratt was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence early Sunday morning in Hollywood. She'd just left Holly Montag's birthday party and apparently didn't arrange for a designated driver. [TMZ]
• Stephanie Pratt was "cooperative" and there were no issues with her arrest. She was taken into custody at 3:45 am and released at 10:30 am. [People]
• Here's a picture of Stephanie partying before her DUI. What's with the tongues? [TMZ]
• Liz Taylor took Michael Jackson's three kids to a theme park on Friday. From her wheelchair, she watched the children go on rides and enjoy the Halloween Horror Nights event. [Daily Express]
• By the by, Liz Taylor saw the new Michael Jackson documentary, This Is It at a special secret screening. Word is: She loved it and thought it was "brilliant." [Showbiz 411]
• "Michael Jackson's embattled physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, is quietly trying to sell his story." [Rush & Molloy]
• Susan Boyle must have liked the makeover she got from Harper's Bazaar: She used the images from that photo shoot as cover art for her album. [WWD]
• Kelly Bensimon flashed folks at a fête: "Raising her arm to wave goodbye, the Real Housewives star 'accidentally' revealed she was 'commando.'" [Page Six]
• Expect Josh Brolin's performance in Wall Street 2 to be Donald Trump-inspired. [Page Six]
• "The octomom's doctor has been expelled from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the main infertility professional organization." Nadya Suleman has said that her physician, Michael Kamrava, transferred six embryos, which exceeds the ASRM's guidelines. [USA Today]
• Did you know that Jon Hamm auditioned for the role of Jack Donaghy on 30 Rock? [Reader's Digest]
• "Madonna's 'Hung Up,' in which she dances provocatively in a pink leotard, has been voted the least sexy music video of all time." [Telegraph]
• You guys, stop talking about how Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy might be broken up. She says: "I'm not going to lie – it's not annoying, it's hurtful. Because he is like the most awesome person." And! "We are just trying to be really happy. It makes it hard to do that when everybody is putting negative energy out there." [ONTD]
• Guess what Susan Sarandon is going to be for Halloween? Think "Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me"! [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz stars in sci-fi thriller The Box, based on a 1970 short story and adapted and directed by the twisted genius behind Donny Darko, Richard Kelly. At 37, she gets asked about the quality of roles for women over 40, and says: "I'm not 40 yet and I don't know what I am going to want. I'm certainly not sitting here worrying about where I am going to be at, I am just making the most out of the life I am living as I have been doing all along." [News.com.au]
• Conan O'Brien and Newark mayor Cory Booker have ended their feud. Sort of. There's now a joke jar: jar. "Every time I made a joke about Newark… $500 would go into that joke jar," says Conan. Yet he adds: "You can rest assured that the money is safe, because the jar isn't in Newark." [NY Daily News]
• Gaga Ooh La La! New Lady Gaga song! Click to hear. [ONTD]
• Martha Stewart's deal with Kmart is dead. Long live Martha Stewart's deal with Home Depot. [NY Times]
• Nas has tax issues. [TMZ]
• Where The Wild Things Are made a monstrous $32.5 million at the box office. [AP]
• So you know how some dresses have little plastic straps inside for more stability on a hanger? And sometimes the straps pop out from under your armpits and look unsightly? Whitney Houston's dress straps broke while she was on TV. [The Sun]
• Monty Python: The Original Kings Of Gore. [Newsweek]
• Dan Aykroyd's father has a new book called A History of Ghosts: The True Story of Séances, Mediums, Ghosts and Ghostbusters; Dan has written the forward and says: "I've had to sell some really bad movies in my time, so it's great when you can get behind a good product." [USA Today]
• Someone paid $15,000 for a clump of Elvis' hair. [AP]
• Ted Danson upon meeting Dave Chappelle: "You are like a hero in my family." After the meeting: "Wow. That was cool. That was my claim to hip right there. That's my only claim to hip." [LA Times]
• Do red carpets make you nervous? Or the paparazzi? 
"Horribly nervous. The red-carpet thing is more of a problem. I had braces when I was a teenager and taught myself not to smile. I never deprogrammed myself from that. When they're shouting 'Smile!' I get nervous. You don't want to see my smile." Are you on Facebook? "I left Facebook. People contact you and they're out of your life, and I don't know why they want to come back in. It's weird." — from a Q&A with An Education's Carey Mulligan. [Newsweek]
• Def Leppard has canceled the last segment of its North American tour — 23 shows — "due to unforeseen personal matters." [USA Today]
• "When I was 11, I auditioned for the part of Joseph in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at school. I didn't go to an all-girls school, but the boys didn't want to do theater: the girls could then play the boys. I remember that I didn't get the part of Joseph and I was really upset. They cast me as the Pharaoh, and I remember doing an Elvis impression as the Pharaoh. I had this one moment when I realized that the Pharaoh part was actually more interesting than Joseph's. And, in some ways, that set the tone for my career. For me, it's often better to play the great character than the lead." — Samantha Morton. Click through for gorgeous photo shoot. [T Magazine]
• "He's one of the very few completely brilliant directors that I've worked with. There aren't really very many, I have to say, or it's a shame to say. To be an artist in terms of what you see and what you want to feel out of each scene, a kind of master of the technique and the technicalities of filmmaking, and a master of directing actors, which is usually the one that's missing — there are many who have no idea how to speak or to pull good work out of actors — is very rare. Roman was all those things." — Ewan McGregor on Roman Polanski, who directed The Ghost, in which Ewan stars. [LA Times]
• "The best part for me now is that I think for the first nine months mom is so essential. When they start hanging out with dad more you're like, 'Wow I feel like a dad.' You go to music class and do fun stuff together, it's cool. It makes me realize all of the little things that my dad sacrificed when he had me. It's sad it took 30 years but I totally realize it now." — Pete Wentz on fatherhood. [UPI via People]
• "When I was away [in prison], I wrote a lot of stuff, which will be released next year. I wrote a diary and songs. I got into trouble because I wrote on the wall: 'Some things are past understanding, you just need a place to land.' It was part of a lyric. I actually wrote a song about Amy [Winehouse] when I was in prison." — Boy George. [Daily Express via The Times of London]
• "I'll be honest: When I went on that morning show, I was drunk. Yes, I was on sleeping pills and I was jet-lagged, but I was also just plastered. And I never said I wasn't, but that whole Warner Bros. publicity machine got involved and said, 'Just say he was jet-lagged.' I said, 'No, tell 'em the truth! I was fucking drunk in Australia. Big deal.'" — John Stamos, in reference to his bizarre appearance on Mornings with Kerri-Ann in 2007. [Us Magazine]
• "I think I underestimated the way people bracket you. I thought I could wear what I wanted and be an actress and live my life in a certain way, and it would all be all right. I feel we live in the kind of culture now where you have to be very smart to navigate the right way, and I just don't have those smarts. I think with age and time it will change, but I can't obsess about it… This is what I have always wanted, to be on Broadway. I'm living my dream, and that's all you can ask for. At a certain point you have to ignore all the rest." — Sienna Miller, who is in After Miss Julie on Broadway. [NY Times]
• "I've had some absolutely great relationships and some not so great relationships. I've been in some relationships where I've felt terribly alone. Just because you're with someone it doesn't mean you're incredibly happy and complete. I've had some easy and natural, made-sense breakups as well as some rough ones. I deal with them the same way we all do: I'm successful with some and not so successful with others. I don't think my experiences are any different than anybody else's, they've just been amplified a little more." — George Clooney. [Mirror]
• "Parenting is something you can't delegate. Yes, you can find help with the daily things, but that doesn't release you from the guilt and anxiety and concern. Is there ever a time when putting your needs ahead of your children's is acceptable? That is the overarching question." — Uma Thurman, on new film Motherhood. [NY Times]
• "Losing my mother was very traumatic. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. And now I'm older than my mom was when she died, which is pretty strange. She died when she was 35. [I lived with my father after that], he was a salesman and only in his early 60s when he died [of complications from diabetes]. I was 20. I miss him every day. He had a wild streak. He was funny, larger than life, and sad. He's probably in my performance more than I know. I started acting in grade school and kept returning to it in high school and college. Theater departments are usually a big collection of orphans and screwups-sort of lost tribes-and I found kinship there. When I started thinking about what to do with the rest of my life, acting was the only thing I kept coming back to." — Jon Hamm. [Reader's Digest]
• "When I look at digital, the dark side of it for me is the physicality that's being presented alongside the Internet. I think about that movie The Matrix, and about these bodies that are human batteries that support computers. I met this guy who was creating software where you could watch Mad Men and you could chat with your friend while you're watching it, and things would pop up, and facts would pop up, and I said, 'You're a human battery. Turn the fucking thing off! You're not allowed to watch the show anymore. You're missing the idea of sitting in a dark place and having an experience. Are you just like sitting with your phone and you're kissing your girlfriend and saying, "I'm kissing my girlfriend! This is so great, we're having sex!'" EXPERIENCE THINGS!" — Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, at the New Yorker Festival [NY Magazine]

• In the teaser footage from Larry King Live, it seemed like Chris Brown didn't remember assaulting Rihanna. But Chris has released a statement which reads:

"There have been reports on the Internet that I didn't remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight. That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said. The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn't think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn't fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, 'Do you remember doing it?' and I said, 'No.' Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can't believe it happened because it is not me or who I am, nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before." There's more, but it's similarly vague. He does say he wants to talk to a counselor about what happened and how to channel his anger. [People, TMZ]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz were at the Western Wall in Jerusalem's Old City, and caused a "frenzy" of onlookers and paparazzi. Madonna wore high heels, blue jeans and a black jacket; Jesus wore a black T-shirt and a blank expression. [Daily Mail]
• In an interview with TV Guide, Paula Abdul talks about her emotional farewell from American Idol. "You know, to say ‘no regrets' isn't easy," Paula said. "I feel like I have been such a big, huge part of the success of the show from day one. I loved being able to be the artist's artist; being there from my point of view of knowing what it feels like to be vulnerable and to be out there wanting to achieve the most magical moment in a minute and 30 seconds. To be able to do that was an amazing experience and the show was wonderful for me in that regard." But she will not be taken advantage of! "I stand on principle where many people stand on money," she explained. "I'm a hard-working artist. I've lasted in this business for 23 years. And you can't do that unless you are good at what you do. I believe in myself and you have to have your own self-respect." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul will be on TV — playing a judge on Drop Dead Diva and hosting VH1's Divas concert. [USA Today]
• While in Las Vegas, Jon Gosselin was seen jewelry shopping. He looked at a few pinky rings, but mostly checked out engagement rings. [Radar Online]
• Paris Jackson got her hair cut and her security collected the hair from the floor and put it in a bag so no one could take a strand and do some kind of DNA test. [MSNBC via Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson had been requesting hospital-grade sedatives in order to sleep since 1994. [MSNBC]
• OMG: Soleil Moon Frye dressed up as Punky Brewster for her Twitter fans. Sunburst hair barrettes, stripey socks, a key around the neck. Holy macanoli. Video here. [TMZ, Ustream]
• Pete Wentz is working on a new comic book series, Fall Out Toy Works, and says: "I think after you have a kid, all of a sudden you want to do things that your kid can see." But the comic image at the link depicts robot girl with giant breasts and a mini-waist, which doesn't seem appropriate for 9-month-old Bronx. [USA Today]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters were not even watching the Daytime Emmy Awards when The View won this year, after 11 years on the air. Joy Behar joked: "I always said that the key to success was showing up - this time I was wrong." [Gatecrasher]
• "Consider this year's slate of Emmy nominees for best actress in a drama: Sally Field, 62; Holly Hunter, 50; Glenn Close, 62; Mariska Hargitay, 45, and Kyra Sedgwick, 43. The single exception on the list is Elisabeth Moss, the ambitious, naive Peggy Olson in Mad Men, which recently returned for its third season. If Moss, who is 27, were to win, she would be the youngest winner in the category's history." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• Kim Mathers did an interview with a Detroit radio station about her ex-husband, Eminem. She did not hold back, saying: "I can't stand him. He's an absolutely horrible person and he gets worse every day. I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or I hear his name. There's nothing left in me for him. Nothing at all. He's not very well endowed. If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work." [The Sun]
• Real Housewives Of New York City is filming again; a crew was seen at Jill Zarin's fabric firm yesterday. But a source says there are two new women "waiting in the wings." [Page Six]
• Here's the reason Amy Winehouse was seen with magic marker freckles on her nose: Blake Fielder-Civil used to call her his "lioness." A source says: "She painted the orange marks on her nose and wore a tiger-print top so that Blake would notice." Uh, do lions have freckles? [The Sun]
• Jay-Z will mark the eighth anniversary of 9/11 with a concert to benefit the families of New York's Finest and Bravest who died that day. [Page Six]
• Interested in a story linking Sharon Osbourne, Ryan Jenkins, Jasmine Fiore, Michael Jackson, Tommy Lee Jones ... and Kevin Bacon? [TMZ]
• Keanu Reeves will star in and produce Henry's Crime, a romcom about a bighearted man who is falsely accused of robbing a bank in Buffalo. [Variety]
• Tia and Tamera Mowry will star in a Lifetime move called Double Wedding. Twin sisters begin dating the same man; cue hijinks. [Variety]
• In an interview to air on September 11, ESPN reporter Erin Andrews tells Oprah that having secretly taped nude footage of her on the internet was a "nightmare." [AP]
• "Stephen Fry: gorillas staring at my moobs inspired weight loss. Stephen Fry has said he was inspired to lose five-stone in weight when he noticed gorillas eyeing-up his ''man boobs'' with jealousy." [Telegraph]
• Shania Twain has been "moving on" since her marriage broke up last year: She is nnow with the husband of the woman her husband had an affair with and will be a guest judge on American Idol. [Reuters]
• Whatshername has spent £150,000 on a new dressage horse "which she is calling Cross Dresser." [The Sun]
• Whatshername met her new boyfriend's parents. [Mirror]
• "I was raped when I was younger, more than once." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "[When I first met him] he was wearing an EPMD T-shirt, which let me know he knew and loved classic hip-hop music and was a true fan of the culture. He was excited to meet me and told me what the show I used to host, Yo! MTV Raps, meant to his music development. He really wanted me to sign his DVD of my film Wild Style, which I sadly never got to do. I would later check him out in numerous clips on YouTube where I could see he was truly talented and was elevating the DJ game to new heights along with Travis Barker on the drums. DJ AM and I would exchange small messages on Twitter and I'd often notice him tweet about how he'd landed safely in whatever town he was in as a year ago he survived that tragic plane crash. His last tweet and looking at his @djam twitter page now looks like a monument to a fallen soldier in the culture war, which he was winning. R.I.P. DJ AM...and the BEAT GOES ON!!!!" — Fab Five Freddy. [The Daily Beast]
• "I try to [Twitter]. My parents are way better at it, obviously, than me. I keep trying to figure out, like, do people really care if I'm, like, 'hey, I'm doing my laundry!' [laughs] I keep trying to figure it out, but I'm working on it." — Rumer Willis. She also reveals that her middle sister, Scout, is fluent in French. [JustJared]
• "My early life from infancy to leaving home at 16 was spent in care. I had some wonderful social workers who supported me and helped me achieve my goals in life. That's why it's important to recruit more social workers. There are many people out there, whether they be children, families, vulnerable adults, even the aged, who need a social worker. I want to enable them to have the support they need. Help us to help them, and maybe one day they may help you." — Samantha Morton. [Guardian]
• "If you are old you're not going to play young leads any more, that's a fact. In the film world, the camera loves a young person, man or woman. That's a fact... None of these things are ever going to change. So absorb it, live with it, get over it. I'm not being unkind, but I'm just saying millions of crones like me shouldn't suddenly be given the lead in things, just because we're damn old and very ... sort of recalcitrant." — Joanna Lumley. [Telegraph]
• "There was a photo of me with weird sunglasses on and a green sweatshirt, some striped thing, with tights and cowboy boots. Something really random where in some sense it's me. To this day, I have never read the article. I just saw the photo and thought, 'God, I look crazy in that photograph!' " — Mary-Kate Olsen. [Page Six]

• Kiefer Sutherland surrendered to police yesterday for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. He was arrested and charged with a third-degree assault charge. He was photographed and fingerprinted. Then he left. [People]

• This report says Kiefer was not arrested, but received a desk ticket. [TMZ]
• This report says Kiefer was arrested but not jailed and should have a court date in the next few weeks. [Reuters]
• Kiefer looks handsome in spectacles! [Gothamist]
• This paper claims Kiefer Sutherland "strolled" into the police station, "as cool in a crisis as his 24 alter ego." [NY Daily News]
• And! This says Kiefer "meekly" surrendered to cops. [NY Post]
• Uh-oh. Anna Wintour is fucking pissed that the biggest story from the Met ball is Kiefer's headbutt. A source says: "Anna is furious that the Met Gala got upstaged by Kiefer doing something stupid at an after-party that wasn't even part of her event. Now that's all anyone is talking about, not her party. And she is so genuinely fond of Jack, she has supported him and Lazaro for years, she really feels they are part of the future of American fashion. So she's doubly annoyed." DOUBLY ANNOYED. This will not end well. [NY Mag]
• Brooke Shields has told friends that she was indeed "jostled" by Jack McCollough at the Met Gala, but it was "no big deal" and had more to do with her 6-inch heels and a dark and crowded room. In any case, maybe Kiefer thought Jack pushed her?!?! [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan has been taking her 15-year-old sister to parties and a source says: "Dina took Ali out of school and now all she does is hang out with Lindsay — who is back to drinking and partying hard. Ali is now wearing really skimpy outfits, and it's just sad. No one is in control. Where are children's services? Where is Dina?" Is this "source" Michael Lohan??? [Page Six]
• Rihanna had planned to wear thigh high lace-up Louis Vuitton boots to the Met Gala, but Madonna wanted to wear them and "and insisted that nobody else could be seen or photographed in them." Rihanna was fine with it. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse will play the St. Lucia jazz festival tonight, she says, "It also is an honour for me to appear on the same bill as great singers such as Chaka Khan and Patti LaBelle as well great jazz musicians like Monty Alexander and George Duke." And! She loves St. Lucia! "Since I first came to the island, I have been greeted with nothing but kindness and friendship, as well as incredible music and the most beautiful of settings. I have made friends for life and have been inspired by my surroundings. The laid-back lifestyle definitely suits me, it's a home from home with great beaches." Is it too late to catch a flight? [Mirror]
• Paula Abdul has something to say! "I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone that I have never been addicted to or abused drugs in my life," she says. "I have never been drunk." Wait, what?!?!? "I have never entered a rehab or detox treatment center. I spent time hiking, bicycling, doing yoga and enjoying the spa. As anyone who has visited the La Costa Resort knows, it is a luxury hotel, not a rehab facility." Oh. Hmm. But did you tell Ladies Home Journal you went there to kick your pill habit?!?! [E!]
• Megan Fox has something to say! "If you know how to take control of [being a sex symbol], then it can be powerful. But I have no idea how to handle it yet, how to deal with it. I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against — but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've every learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard – but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [People]
• Jon Favreau used his Twitter account to describe Scarlett Johansson's first day in her Black Widow outfit on the set of Iron Man 2: "Scarlett's first day on set in the Black Widow outfit… You've never heard a crew get so quiet so fast." [Mirror]
• Five months after Jennifer Hudson's dude David Otunga proposed to her; she proposed right back with a "architectural and geometric" platinum and diamond men's ring. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston is acting in The Baster — the comedy about a woman whose best friend (Jason Bateman) secretly fathers her child when he swaps her intended artificial insemination sample with his own — and she is also the executive producer. She says of doing double duty: "I'm just exhausted." [USA Today]
• A judge is placing Roman Polanski's case on hold — not throwing it out; the judge said that because "Mr. Polanski doesn't intend to submit himself to the jurisdiction of the court," his motion for dismissal would be denied. [AP]
• Sparkly vampire and same-sex scene god Robert Pattinson has hit No. 1 on USA Today's high scientific Celebrity Heat Index, which measures media exposure. Some schmuck named Brad Pitt is No. 2. [USA Today]
• Sarah Jessica Parker has joined the board of the New York City Ballet and will host the Spring Gala next week, where Samantha Ronson will DJ. [Page Six]
• Again with this story: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "bisexual tattooed rocker." And? [The Star]
• The pastor of Miss California Carrie Prejean would like all you haters to leave her alone. "We are all sinners. Christians aren't perfect," he says. "The pictures are from when she was 17, and they do not disqualify her from being able to share her opinion." [E!]
• "Smitten" Joe Jonas is desperately seeking a "lovenest" for he and girlfriend Camilla Belle to sneak off to, since his brothers always seem to be around. He may wear a purity ring but it certainly sounds like he's thinking some perfectly natural and wonderfully impure thoughts. GET IT. [Contact Music]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is "mulling" over whether to return to the London stage in a production of Chekhov's The Three Sisters. [Daily Mail]
• Meryl Streep on 30 Rock? "I would love to do that yes," she says. "It's an amazing show." Tina Fey: Make it happen. [Mirror]
• Time does "10 Questions With JJ Abrams." I like this one: Q: What is your favorite plot twist of all time? A: The one that comes to mind is the end of Planet of the Apes, when you realize, "Oh my God, he's never getting home because that is home." I just remember seeing that as a kid and I was like, "That's it. My brain just stopped." [Time]
• Lady GaGa's breast popped out during a video shoot. A source says she laughed and said: "You better make sure you airbrush my nipples!" [Gatecrasher]
• Ouch: Sacha Baron Cohen bleached all of his body hair to play Bruno, but "shortly after having the procedure done he felt a burning sensation and it grew steadily worse. It was so severe around a certain part of his anatomy that he couldn't sit down for three days." [Telegraph]
• "Paris [Hilton]: I don't keep a diary..I Google myself." [The Sun]
• A new biography claims Patrick Swayze didn't realize he was sick until it was nearly too late. [Gatecrasher]
• Samantha Morton spent the first 16 years of her life either in care or living in foster homes; now she has a film which will air on TV in the UK — called The Unloved — about a girl who grows up in the system. [Daily Mail]
• Keanu Reeves will star in the Universal Pictures retelling of the classic tale The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which will be titled Jekyll. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ooh, Marisa Tomei and Liv Tyler will star in a psychological thriller called 10A/10B, about the relationship and consequences that result when a culinary perfectionist, portrayed by Tyler, and an actress with a failing career, played by Tomei, become neighbors in a loft apartment building. [Variety]
• "Farrah Fawcett's Friends Prepare To Say Goodbye." Ryan O'Neal says she "stays in bed now" and her treatment has "pretty much ended." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Leonard Nimoy is in the new Star Trek, and now JJ Abrams has also made him a guest-star on Fringe. [USA Today]
• A promoter from Suriname admits that he scammed people into thinking they were paying $53 to see Toni Braxton, when in fact they were watching Braxton impersonator Trina Johnson-Finn sing. [USA Today]
• Lenny Kravitz will tour the UK in July and take a guitar which belonged to Jimi Hendrix with him. [Daily Express]
• Ozzy Osbourne hearts Phil Collins. [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which top model's hubby is hoping some sexy literature will spice up their love life? He recently gave her a graphic tome and asked what she'd be into most." [Gatecrasher]
• "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids… Yet we're up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it. Because if somebody wants a child — man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue." — Lance Armstrong, on why he broke up with Sheryl Crow. [Page Six]
• "I couldn't even pick up a girl until I had a hit song. When that happened, in a club in Argentina, I rang my five best friends and said: 'Get down here, we are all going to get laid.' It was crazy what a hit could do. But I do hide behind my clothes a bit. I am the opposite of a playboy." — Enrique Iglesias. [Daily Mail]
• "There were some locations, that by all rights we were supposed to have access to — in front of certain churches, for instance. But two or three days beforehand we were requested not to shoot there by local officials. I think that church officials gave the word to the local government that they didn't want us filming in certain places." — Ron Howard on shooting Angels & Demons. [WSJ]
• "'My weakness - if you can call it that - was drugs. I took all sorts from a fairly young age, ecstasy and LSD among them. It almost led me to a very long period in jail. I was high on drugs, on one occasion, and threatened to kill one of the older girls I was living with, who had been picking on me." — Samantha Morton. [Daily Mail]
• "It used to be Diane Keaton – she always used to tell me, 'I'm terrible, I'm awful, I can't do it, you should get someone else.' And she was always brilliant. Well, Larry is like this. I'd always been a fan. I asked him to do it, and he said, 'But I can't act! I can only do what I do, I'm not an actor, you'll be disappointed. Those are the ones who can always do it. The ones that tell you how great they are can never do it. When it came time, he did it. And not just the comedy, which I expected, but all the other things which required acting, emotions and being touching." — Woody Allen, on Larry David, who stars in Allen's film, Whatever Works. [Independent]
• "The Hanso Foundation that started the Dharma Initiative hired this guy Valenzetti to basically work on this equation to determine what was the probability of the world ending in the wake of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Valenzetti basically deduced that it was 100 percent within the next 27 years, so the Hanso Foundation started the Dharma Initiative in an effort to try to change the variables in the equation so that mankind wouldn't wipe it itself out." — Lost's Damon Lindelof, on what the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 actually mean. [NY Mag]
• "It's real love. And we will be married forever and ever and ever. I legally changed my name to Pratt. I'm very excited. I thought about my dress for years. I knew everything I wanted. I knew I wanted a strapless, gorgeous, big, flowy, princess, fun, amazing dress, and that's what I had. I wanted it to be really classic but young and fun and fresh. I felt like a princess, and it was perfect. I was just sitting there in my dress, like, 'I am really about to marry the most amazing man, and this is such a great experience.'" — Heidi Montag. [Mirror]
• "It's so mainstream now. When you look at people who are transmitting the news to you on television they all look like they're in porn, the way they're quaffed. It's really crazy. There's this like hyper-grooming thing going on now, men and women. I was never thinking, oh, what an outré thing to do to put a porn actor in a quote-unquote normal movie. I just thought she was interesting." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new flick, The Girlfriend Experience. [WSJ]
• "Well, if I had to be addicted to something, it would be sex!" — Hayden Panettiere. [Page Six]

• Susan Boyle's new hairdo, clothes, and "reshaped" eyebrows may actually hurt her image, according to a neighbor: "She looks really nice - nothing like the image that's had the whole world talking about her."[DailyMail]

• X-Factor judge Louis Walsh has clearly been drinking the Susan Boyle Haterade: "Susan is a pretty good singer but she's not a great singer," he says. [TimesofLondon]
• Susan Boyle doesn't have Britain's Got Talent locked up just yet: a 10-year-old named Hollie Stell is giving her some strong competition. [Daily Mail]
• Is Lindsay Lohan's weight loss a cry for help? A source says yes: "She is a self-destructive person. It's all part of her cry for attention. She wants Sam [Ronson, her ex-girlfriend] to see how bad she's hurting and she wants Hollywood to see her as a 'tortured artist' who is wasting away … This is a symptom of something much bigger – a desperate need to be noticed." [People]
• The official promo posters for Bruno have been released. The tagline? "Borat was so 2006." [EW]
• Ugh, Octomom: The Musical? Really? [TMZ]
• Natalie Cole is waiting on a much-needed kidney donation: "In my younger, hell-raising days, I was an active drug user, and heroin was my drug of choice. In the process [I] contracted the hep C virus," Cole says. She is currently on dialysis and hopes a kidney comes soon, "but, at the moment, where it's coming from, heaven only knows." [PageSix]
• Blind Item: "This 80's Heartthrob is finding out the hard way you should never abandon your kids. When they grow up they come back to haunt you and make you look like a fool!" [Blind Gossip]
• Oh no! Henry Ian Cusick, perhaps best known for his role as Desmond Hume on LOST, has been accused of sexual harassment by a woman who used to work on the show. [TMZ]
• John Mayer has been spending a lot of time with a new "gal pal"—a cocktail waitress named Scheana Marie. OMG what does Jen have to say about all this?!? [People]
• Jay Leno has been released from the hospital and is "feeling much better."[USWeekly]
• Katy Perry has reportedly reunited with ex-fiance Travis McCoy "The break-up sucked," Travis says, "We're back together now - you're the first person I've told that to.I keep thinking about if I had to go through it again and how s****y it would be. We were moving way too fast. I was being juvenile about the entire thing. Now it's easy breezy. I'm happy and in love." [TheSun]
• "I love family. It is the best organisation there is, and I'm a great father. Come to think of it, that is my big conceit. If you want arrogance and conceit, I think I'm the best father in the world. I have always put my children first. I never spoiled them but I was there for them. They came on set with me. I got this reputation for saying yes to films only because of the locations or the money. Well, that wasn't entirely true. It was mostly about taking a job that would allow me to support the family and have them with me.-Michael Caine [DailyMail
• "For someone who has missed as much school as I have, I want to go back and discover what else there is. I always loved school - I was a proper, proper nerd. I just want that back again."Emma Watson, who seems to get more awesome by the minute. [ShowbizSpy]
• Is Mel Gibson's mistress expecting a baby? A source claims it may have sparked the Gibson divorce: "Robyn put up with Mel for years but when she found out Oksana was telling friends she was expecting it was the last straw." [TheSun]
• Madonna, Reese Witherspoon, and Gwyneth Paltrow, have all topped Forbes' list of "Hollywood's Hardest Working Mothers." [Reuters]
• Natalie Portman hopes to give viewers an inside look at the movie-making business with her new project, MakingOf. "I always wondered why there isn't a Web site that encapsulated the experience of visiting a friend on a movie set," she says, "Our site is supposed to give access to people who don't have a friend they can visit" - meaning pretty much everyone, and definitely us." [NYMag]
• "I think the best thing in my life is my ability to be in a stable relationship. For anybody who has been in care or moved around a lot, it's very tough to form strong, lasting relationships. And that's what I'm proudest of."-Samantha Morton [Guardian]
• Gwen Stefani has put down 100,000 to make sure that a proper playspace for her sons is built into her recording studio. [Star]
• Rhianna is hoping to retrieve the 1.4 million dollars worth of jewelry she was wearing on the night she was beaten by Chris Brown from the LAPD. [Yahoo!]
• Whoops! Apparently nobody at the Jonas Brothers' record label recognized the potential misunderstandings that might come about due to the Bros new album title, "Lines, Vines, and Trying Times." "Universal only get involved with distribution and promotion when the record is completed," says a source, "And they were stunned staff at Hollywood Records, who the lads are signed to, had failed to spot the ‘lines' reference." The same thing happened when I released my debut album: Crack, Smack, And Scooby Snacks. [TheSun]

• Why do Kate Winslet and husband Sam Mendes usually fly on separate planes?

Back in 2001, Sam Mendes was booked on American Airlines flight 77 from Washington to L.A., the one hijacked and crashed into the Pentagon. His plans changed, so he never got on the plane, but Kate Winslet also had a terrorist air-scare in 2001. Now Sam and Kate prefer to fly separately, fearing that if they don't, they will leave their children orphans. [Daily Mail]

• By the by, Kate Winslet says: "There's always going to be a part of me that worries about not looking as slim as other actresses." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger won a SAG award last night. [NY Daily News]
• So you know how Lily Allen just broke up with that 45-year-old dude? Right after, she said: "I think, 'This is someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with.' But I cannot face having bad sex." [Mirror]
• Here's more on the Prince Harry/Chelsy Davy breakup: This paper calls her a "flighty blonde," but a source says: "Chelsy's heart is with her family and Africa. She comes from a relaxed family with different values and a completely different lifestyle from the royals. This is what Harry loves about her. The irony is that ultimately this is why they can never be together for ever. She has often told her friends she will never marry him not only because she doesn't, ultimately, want to live in England but also because she doesn't want the attention that comes with dating a royal. She wants a normal life." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile: Princess Eugenie and some friends got drunk at a pole dancing club and the Princess asked if she could try the pole. (She was denied.) [Daily Mail]
• Oh and by the by, Prince William bought Kate Middleton some deer shooting paraphernalia, including a Swarovski stalking scope. She's looking forward to "bagging her first set of Royal antlers." [Daily Mail]
• Rumor has it Hugh Jackman will do a big opening musical number at the Oscars! [Fox 411]
• Whoa: Will Brad Pitt play Steve McQueen? (Brad says: "Nope.") [Extra]
• Does Anderson Cooper fly in the front while his "friend," an "attractive Hispanic man," flies in the back of the plane? [Page Six]
• Drew Barrymore was promoting her romcom, He's Just Not That Into You, when she said she'd love to bring an old butt-kicking franchise back to life: "I’m so into it—Charlie's Angels III!" [E!]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil might try to use a love letter Amy wrote to him to get her money in divorce proceedings. In the letter, Amy said she'd write albums especially for Blake Incarcerated; he's expected to argue that it means he's entitled to half of her estimated $15 million earnings. [People, Daiy Mail]
• Are Kirsten Dunst and Josh Hartnett back on? [Extra]
• In this Q&A, Matthew Fox talks about why you never see him lending his name to any causes: "I'm an actor. I try to play a character in a really cool story, the very best I can. And somehow or other that does make people very interested in what I have to say. And I think that, being the stubborn bastard I am… the more people want to hear what it is I have to say, the more I kind of… not say anything." [Men.Style.Com via Details]
• Paramedics were called to the home of Amy Poehler and Will Arnett this weekend, maybe because Amy's mom had a health scare? [TMZ]
• Warning: Russell Brand is thinking about giving up sex. [The Sun]
• A reporter tells Rumer Willis she looks a little like her dad. "She shrieks and grimaces, covering the lower part of her face with her hands: 'I hate my jaw!' she says. [Daily Mail]
• What is going on in the Bahamas? Pleasant Bridgewater, a senior in Parliament, has just resigned. Obie Wilchcombe, a former "close friend" of John Travolta and family — and member of Bahamaian Parliament — was taken into custody regarding an extortion plot. Wilchcombe has been released, but a third person, and EMT who tried to revive Jett Travolta, is sill in custody. [TMZ, TMZ, TMZ, Us]
• Wilchcombe says he had nothing to do with the extortion plot. [TMZ]
• Mickey Rourke hasn't seen The Wrestler — and won't, for a while: "I don't watch anything until three, four, five years go by. I see myself every day in the mirror when I'm shaving. I don't get anything from it." [Extra]
• Samantha Morton says she'll boycott the BBC if the corporation won't broadcast an emergency appeal for help in Gaza. Morton took part in a fundraiser for the British Aid Agency Medical Aid for Palestinians. [The Star]
• Paul McCartney might wed his girlfriend, Nancy Shevell. One might think he'd had enough of marriage… [NY Daily News]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps has a book coming out: Class With the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair. Will tips on crotch-grabbing and landing a reality show be included? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which nymphette actress had a really, really swell time in rehab, and has been telling pals that she 'got laid there' all the time?" [Gatecrasher]
• A prop manager from Lipstick Jungle stole $30,000 worth of designer clothes and accessories, but got caught when a limited-edition bag was seen on eBay. [Gatecrasher via Perez]
• Sayonara! Janet Jackson has postponed her tour in Japan due to the global financial crisis. [Internation Herald Tribune]
• Chris Martin gave a lovely lady, Brit singer Alesha Dixon, a ride home. In his private jet. [Daily Mail]
• Wall Street woes mean celeb houses in the Hamptons are going for slashed prices. [NY Post]
• The Jolie-Pitt mansion in Malibu will be up for sale soon, by the way. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Cool interview with Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss. She says of the show: "Everyone who saw it was like, 'They're SMOKING! They're SMOKING!' No one noticed they were cheating on their wives." [Guardian]
• Psst: Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen are planning a hush-hush wedding. [People]
• Patrick Dempsey competed in a car race which raises money for breast cancer, and has also opened the Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope and Healing in Maine. [UPI]
• In a Q&A with Lauren Graham, she talks about doing Guys & Dolls on Broadway; a Gilmore Girls movie (not gonna happen) and a new comedy she'll star in, in which she plays "a self-help guru who is truly a mess." [EW]
• Anne Hathaway Googles herself. [Showbiz Spy]
• David and Victoria Beckham have hired two people to clean their mansion in the country, and the couple are named David and Victoria. [Showbiz Spy]
• Hmm, AC Milan is hoping David Beckham will stay with the team. Ciao, Hollywood? [Independent]
• Natascha McElhone made her first official public appearance since the death of her husband last year, and was carrying her newborn son, Rex. [Daily Mail]
• Tommy Lee was seen hanging out with model Victoria Silvstedt — and she had bandages on her knees. What does it mean? [Daily Mail]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy won't strike back at South Park, and that the Family Guy scripts are written by sperm whales. [TMZ]
• Three's a crowd? Cockblocker George Michael went out with Geri Halliwell and her new Italian boyfriend. [Daily Mail]
• Elle Macpherson is dating a multi-millionaire British businessman named Damian Aspinall. [News.com.au]
• Holy femmebot! Kylie Minogue is mega-Photoshopped in her new ads for jewelry company Tous. [Daily Mail]
• Oh dear: Zsa Zsa Gabor lost at least $7 million by investing with Bernard Madoff, the man who's been making the incredibly wealthy merely rich. [UPI, MSNBC]
• Boy George has been moved to a "softer" prison. Is it made of toilet tissue? [Mirror]
• Ladies and gentlemen, an Iron Maiden hotel. [UPI]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver was asked to rate his looks on a scale from 1-10. He says: "About six and a half. It’s not really about the face, though. I think it’s more about what’s in my trousers, to be honest – apart from cooking, that’s the thing I’ve got going for me and a lot of women say it’s enough." [Mirror]
• "Patsy is a figure of nostalgia, doing everything we daren’t do because of our obligations to our families and society. I have turned into a school prefect now but, much as i love my life, i sometimes think i’d like to skip classes and smoke cigarettes in the duck-house again. I could have been Patsy if i hadn’t turned out to be me." — Absolutely Fabulous' Joanna Lumley. [Daily Express]
• "When you're younger, you're always working for something, and now you realize, this is really it. You'd better be enjoying this, because this is pretty good." — Julianne Moore, who is on the cover of Redbook. [People]
• "I can’t stand Angelina and all her babies. Maddox probably thought he hit the jackpot, but then Angelina proceeded to take him to every other Third World country on the planet. He’s probably like. 'Bitch, when the (bleep) are we getting to Malibu?'" — Chelsea Handler. [Gatecrasher]
• "I swear that my waist is now skinnier than before I was pregnant — how do they do that? Certainly it’s nothing to do with me working out. Jerry Bruckheimer [Shopaholic’s mega-successful producer] hired a personal trainer to help me get rid of the 60lb I put on during pregnancy. He said I was lucky I was blessed with good genes because I had a really bad attitude towards exercise — like stopping when it hurt or got boring and having a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Apparently you are not supposed to do that in Hollywood." — Isla Fisher. [Times of London]
• "I think there's something to be said for looking more natural on film. A perfect physique is unattainable for most women who can't hire personal trainers or who don't have the time or inclination to spend two hours a day working out." — Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]
• "My grandparents didn't take any pills, and they were fine. Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a fucking pansy." — Bijou Phillips, Scientologist. [Us via Paper Magazine]

• French police say that paparazzi wearing camouflage (!) got on to the grounds of Angelina and Brad's chateau and scuffled with security guards on the property yesterday. Both sides filed legal complaints accusing the other of battery/injury (bruises, scratches, nothing serious.) Angie and Brad need guard dogs. So they can be all, "Smithers, release the hounds." [AP]
• "I won't hide for you that this kind of thing is really not the type of problem that interests us," says police captain Olivia Poupot. "There are, in my opinion, far more important things than paparazzi taking photos of a glamor couple." [Yahoo News]
• Christian Bale on his alleged assault against his mom and sister: "It’s a deeply personal matter." [The Sun]
• This was in Midweek Madness but seems like it actually might be true: Sean "Diddy" Combs, 38, is engaged to singer Cassie, 21. Good luck? [Star]
• Kirsten Dunst is directing a documentary about why Americans vote on Tuesday. Blame the farmers, people. Blame the farmers. [NY Magazine]

• Rachel Weiz is shooting a spread for Vogue and it could be Halloween-related, or she and this small child could be wearing copious amounts of feathers because chicken hawk is the new black. [The.Life Files]
• Samantha Morton is making her directorial debut with a drama for Channel 4 about a little girl growing up in a children's home. She says: "I was in care, but this film isn't about me." [Guardian]
• Danny Glover has had trouble raising funds for his movie about Haitian independence hero Toussaint-Louverture. "Producers said 'It's a nice project, a great project... where are the white heroes?'" Uh, seriously? [Breitbart]
• Justin Long remains "distraught" about his breakup with Drew Barrymore and has dropped out of the rollerderby comedy Whip It!, which is Drew's directorial debut. A source says: "He couldn't stand working with her and not being with her. He's too upset. She dumped him. She was hot and cold. One minute she was in love with him and the next she wanted to break up with him." [Yahoo News]
• Pete Doherty was in court yesterday, admitting to roughing up a paparazzo. Pete had to pay $2,000 in fees. (The incident happened last August.) [Yahoo News]
• "She sure knows how to milk publicity and create a publicity stunt." — Pharrell Williams on Madonna. [Mirror]
• Johnny Depp is turning his 40-acre getaway in the Bahamas into an eco-home. Solar hydrogen technology and whatnot. If you would gladly visit the location for an exhaustive investigative study to make sure all is well, raise your hand. [The Sun]
• Simon & Schuster is suing Foxy Brown and Lil' Kim, claiming the two rappers never delivered manuscripts for which they were paid book advances. Maybe because both ladies went to jail shortly after signing deals? [AP]
• It's official: The Brit papers are obsessed with Peaches Geldof. She was supposed to cover an iTunes festival on TV but the "bosses" are furious about reports that she OD'd recently. Also, Peaches has a new tattoo which this paper calls a noose but looks like a light bulb. [The Sun]
• "The original Klaatu was warm and fuzzy, more human than humans. I’m not that guy." — Keanu Reeves on his alien character in the December flick The Day The Earth Stood Still. [LA Times]
• James Iha and D'Arcy Wretzky-Brown, former Smashing Pumpkins members, are suing Virgin Records, claiming the label shut them out of profits after signing a deal with frontman Billy Corgan. All I have to say about this is that 1979 is a great song. [Yahoo News]
• Been seeing the posters around town: Pam Anderson is in a new reality show. Why? "I'm not worried about cleaning up my image," she says. "You know how you do things, and you don't really know why you're doing them until the end? I don't know why I'm doing this yet. I'm just know I'm an exhibitionist. Some people are afraid to be found. I'm afraid not to be found. It's one of those weird opportunities. And it was an incredible deal." [LA Times]
• Little Feud On The Prairie, hahaha. Nellie Olson in the news! [TMZ]
• The Kim Kardashian vs. Shanna Moakler showdown is really too boring to write about. [Yahoo News]
• Here's more on Shanna and Kim. Are they technically even celebrities? [Page Six]
• Kim Kardashian is buying wedding magazines and planning a ceremony not because she's engaged but so that "whenever I get asked there won’t be any drama." Wait, what? [People]
• Congrats to Marisa Jaret Winokur, who welcomed a son on Tuesday. Zev Isaac Miller, who was carried by a surrogate mother, weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 21 inches long. Winokur is a cervical cancer survivor. [E!]
• Meg Ryan in a fat suit. For a movie, of course. She says: "I like a character who is all about transformation. She was enormous, and now she's foxy." [Daily Mail via ONTD]
• Producer Scott Storch is facing foreclosure on his $10 million Miami home. Tough times. [Page Six]
• Daisy Lowe is asking boyf Mark Ronson to help with the music for her mom's wedding. [Mirror]
• Elizabeth Berkley has an unscripted project for MTV: She does workshops around the country (called Ask-Elizabeth) with teen girls and gets them to open up about their issues, like self-esteem and body image; the show will be a documentary of sorts, featuring Elizabeth and the kids. Hopefully the girls won't Google Image Showgirls. [Reuters]
• "We met on the show. And we tried to keep it very professional on the show because we were both there for our careers, and we didn’t expect this to come out of it. But I’m really happy." Project Runway's Wesley, who is dating Project Runway's Daniel. [People]
• Leo DiCaprio's next project cold be a Twilight Zone movie. [Reuters]
• A Russian version of The Office! [Brietbart]
• John Cleese on his ex-wife. "Guess how much I'm paying her? £900,000 a year. And we had no children. It is astonishing." Bitter, party of one. [Mirror]
• Mick Jagger turns 65 on Saturday, making him eligible for state pension: $180 a week. Dude's fortune is estimated at $450 million, btw. [Reuters]
• "I think this one will be such a success, it will be difficult to do a sequel because we've done one and we've topped it, obviously, and now we've got to top this. That is difficult. That is difficult because we've already broken the box office (record) in American movie history. We've got to break our own record. It's hard." — Michael Caine on doing a Dark Knight sequel. [MSNBC]

• Will Heath Ledger earn an Academy Award for his role as the Joker in The Dark Knight? That's the buzz coming out of his native Australia. [News.com.au]
  
• Pete Doherty setting young heroin addicts straight on a new TV show? With music-based therapy sessions? Verdict: Maybeshambles. [Sydney Morning Herald]
  
• Amy Winehouse took a cab home but couldn't pay for it. Anybody got a tenner? [TMZ]
  
• George Clooney is putting pressure on Olympic supplier Omega watches to make a stand against China's lax Darfur policy. This gossip column calls it the Sexiest Scolding Alive. [Rush & Molloy]

• Britney Spears is all anime in her new video for "Break The Ice." She looks kind of like she could be Sailor Moon's mom. [People]
• Audrina from The Hills will join the Pussycat Dolls on stage in Vegas to celebrate the new season of her show. Don't you wish your girlfriend was marginally-famous like me? [People]
• Nick Lachey will executive producing a pilot for an MTV reality show that's a version of the '80s show and movie Fame. The show will focus on students at the School for Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati, Lachey's alma mater. I wanna live forever, I wanna learn how to fly: High. [People]
• Neil Patrick Harris on Britney's role on his show, How I Met Your Mother: "I was shocked that Madame Spears was willing to come and do some acting... What if she shows up on set and she is absolutely, totally normal and that whole thing has been a big ruse?" [ET]
• Lisa Kudrow is remaking a British TV show called Who Do You Think You Are in which celebrities delve into their ancestry. Genealogy TV? Genius! [The Sun]
• John Mayer keeps Xanax on hand just in case: "There are these incidental kinds of loopholes in my brain, where the wires can cross for a second and the hard drive crashes," he explains. [Page Six]
• Owen Wilson jumped across a pool (?!) at a party in Miami, but when a photographer snapped a shot of the actor, Owen flipped and yelled at the guy to "erase those pictures right now." The event photographer complied but says, "A lot of friends and clients were there and that looked so bad for me." [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan's father Michael has criticized Dina for for having a reality show, but he's been pitching a male version of The View with fellow born-again Stephen Baldwin. So far, no takers; wonder why! [Page Six]
• Does Paula Abdul hate sweets? She went to dinner with five friends; they ordered dessert; Paula had the desserts sent back to the kitchen. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which middle-age Lothario famous for playing a small-screen love interest has been using his renewed fame to land very young women? One recent hookup was all of 16 years old." [Gatecrasher]
• During her induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Madonna was forced to watch footage of her career in a retrospective. "Oh, look at my eyebrows," she sighed. "Oh, stop, stop!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Is Madonna's new song about Guy Ritchie? Lyrics: "You love me more miles apart/I love you, but we are at our best miles away/When you are gone you realise I'm the best thing that happened to you." [Mirror]
• Andy Dick, reeking of booze and groping girls? Just like old times! It's kind of comforting to know that some things never change. [Rush & Molloy]
• Ivanka Trump says that story about sending someone to polish the nails of her wax figure is total bullshit, since she doesn't even have a wax figure at Madame Tussaud's. How do these rumors get started? Is Ashton Kutcher behind it all? [TMZ]
• The Insider's Pat O'Brien: Out of rehab. [TMZ]
• Was America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene denied entrance to a Snoop Dogg party? Fo shizzle. [TMZ]
• Ugh, is Kathie Lee Gifford going to be the new co-host of the 10:00 hour of the Today show? Yuck. Say it ain't so. [TMZ]
• Josh Hartnett went to go see DJ AM spin at a club in New York but discovered that he was two weeks late. Did he stay to hang out with some girls and have drinks anyway? You bet. [Page Six]
• Cameron Diaz and Jason Patric star in a new Nick Cassavetes flick in which a former district attorney (Diaz) and her fireman husband (Patric) who are sued by their 13-year-old daughter (Abigail Breslin) for emancipation. [Reuters]
• Actress Samantha Morton told a court she lived in terror of a childhood friend who began stalking her. Damn, this woman has been through a lot. [Mirror]
• Jodie Foster: Also has a stalker, who mailed a bomb threat to an L.A. airport. Jeez. [Reuters]
• Elizabeth Hurley quit movies, but you probably didn't notice, since she admits "I really do very little film work at all." [The Times Of India]
• Girls Gone Wild douche Joe Francis goes to court in Florida today regarding filming underage girls. Will he get the book thrown at him? [Page Six]
• Here's a picture of Beyoncé in a blonde wig, playing Etta James in the film Cadillac Records. [Mirror]
• Ginger Spice helped saved the life of a girl in a coma by singing to her! Jessica Knight, 14, had been stabbed 30 times; Geri Halliwell sang to her and Jessica started moving her arms and legs. The next day, she opened her eyes. Girl powah! [Sydney Morning Herald]

• Sienna Miller has reportedly finally agreed to marry Rhys Ifans — after he asked a third time. Summer wedding, you guys. With guests like Kate Moss and Keira Knightley! [Mirror]
  
• Is Kimora Lee Simmons knocked up? Sources say she's got a bun in the oven, thanks to Djimon Hounsou. Now we're gonna be hearing about her "fabulosity" fetus for the next 9 months. [Page Six, People]
  
• Someone placed a 911 call claiming Heather Locklear was suicidal; but when cops arrived Heather was fine, never requested medical assistance and did not place the call. WTF. [TMZ, TMZ]
  
• Star Jones and Al Reynolds: It's over! Three and a half years after their sponsored wedding, Al has moved out and Star is planning to divorce him. Anyone surprised? [ONTD, MSNBC]

• The girls from America's Next Top Model are accused of destroying the Tribeca loft they stayed in in New York. The floors are ruined, there's water damage in the bathroom and lipstick on the walls, says a source. Pretty can be ugly! [Page Six]
• Heath Ledger's father says that even though Heath's will was filed before he met Michelle Williams, Michelle and Matilda "will be taken care of." [People]
• A web site called George Clooney "gay, gay, gay." Says George: "No, I'm gay, gay. The third gay - that was pushing it." [People]
• Clooney also commented on that feud with Fabio, admitting Fabio could probably beat him up. [UPI]
• Gwyneth Paltrow got a C tattooed on her hip for her hubby Chris Martin. Or for Coldplay. Or for cookies. [Mirror]
• The Sopranos movie? No. Seriously, no. It's just a rumor. [AP]
• Q-Tip's new album features Barack Obama. Repeat: Q-Tip's new album features Barack Obama?!??!? [Page Six]
• Helena Christensen and Josh Hartnett: Dunzo. [Gatecrasher]
• It's someone's job to touch up the nail polish on Ivanka Trump's wax figure at Madame Tussaud's? Would you include that on your resume? [Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay and Ali Lohan partied in the penthouse of their LL's NYC apartment building, but stayed sober. [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently LL tells Ali to stay away from clubs. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which skinny-again chart topper has been making multiple bathroom visits with his male friend during late nights at hot spots like Hyde? Apparently it's not just the girls who like diet coke." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which famous braying crooner went down a line of Playmates and stunning models at a recent film festival, inquiring as to whether or not they'd sleep with him? There were no takers, and one of the models even laughed and called him 'short.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• This video of Britney walking into a bar is kind of sad. See, she literally walks into a metal bar. [TMZ]
• The obsessed fan who's been sending packages two to three times a week to Britney has included sexually explicit notes and a "battery-operated sex toy" in the mailings, gross. [UPI]
• Courtney Love claims she is the victim of identity theft — that con aritsts used Kurt Cobain's name to buy a mansion in New Jersey. [UPI]
• Except the LAPD says "It never happened." [TMZ]
• Matt Damon's wife: Knocked up. This will be the third child for the family. [People]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown: Singing each other's songs at a karaoke club in London. Sweet! [Mirror]
• Jessica Simpson's trip to Kuwait to perform for the troops is costing $150,000 for the plane and $16,000 in hair and makeup. Who's picking up the tab? [MSNBC]
• ABC soap One Life To Live has a storyline that may parallel Jamie Lynn Spears' life: A 16-year-old teenage character will have sex and maybe get knocked up. Juno, what hath ye wrought? [Reuters]
• Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards have reached and agreement in their custody battle. The exes are making nice, awww. [E!]
• Actress Samantha Morton was "close to death" after suffering a secret stroke two years ago. She took an unexplained break from making movies because she was learning to walk again. Jeez. She's fully recovered and gave birth to a second daughter in January. Be well! [Guardian]
• Kathy Griffin became a ordained online so she could officiate in a New York wedding in which the non-religious bride and groom claim laughter is the major factor in their relationship. LOL and congrats! [USA Today]
• Robbie Williams says he wants to study extraterrestrial life, and it's apparently not a joke. [UPI]
• Sound Of Music star Julie Andrews has kept a secret for 58 years: She was the child of an affair. [Telegraph]
• "I'm loath to say anything good about going to boarding school, which is one of the reasons why I'm not a believer in Harry Potter. Because I believe it fetishizes boarding school for children." — Tilda Swinton [Page Six]

Julie Christie - Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama (Away From Her)

English acting legend Julie Christie is a little bit quirky and a whole lotta classy. Which is why I thought the 66-year old actress would be perfectly suited in this Louis Vuitton dress — pinstripes paired with the coy purple sheath shows that there is sexy after 50, and Christie's face would be perfectly picture-framed in that portrait collar.


Marion Cotillard - Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical (La Vie En Rose)

French actress Marion Cotillard won big last night for her star-making turn as legende Francaise, Edith Piaf, the chanteuse whose heart-breaking songs weren't half as heartbreaking as her own life story. And shouldn't a performer/role that scream Vive La France! be paired with one of the country's most iconographic fashion houses, Chanel? This Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel-designed dress looks as if it were custom-made for Cotillard's moon face and full lips, the marriage of sexuality and innocence. Also, how cool are the nautical-esque rope details?


Cate Blanchett - Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture (I'm Not There)

I'm a little tired of seeing Cate Blanchett in Armani. Also, I imagine that Cate is a little tired herself, but not of Armani — just 'cause she now has an achin' pregnant woman's body. So I thought comfort should come first, which is easy enough in this Lanvin number, which, like Cate, seems simple but boasts an alluring complexity. (Also, I'm mad for orange!) Cate's a great beauty: She deserves to wear a dress that can match her, but allow her to shine.


Glenn Close - Best Lead Actress in a Television, Drama (Damages)

So Glenn Close gets the honors with this sexy yet sophisticated frock by Armani. She's 60-years and and still got a slammin' bod and she's damn proud of it. So why not show off a still toned chest in a diaphanous choice like this one? The shawl keeps it modest enough. Sorta. Kind of. And the cute and fabric will soften Close's appearance, which can sometimes veer towards the severe. Also, I'm all about white for formal wear. (And all against white for bridal wear. Ah, irony.)


Tina Fey - Lead Actress in a Television Comedy (30 Rock)

The idol of geek girls everywhere, I want to see Tina Fey in a dress that represents her wit and sophistication, without denying the fact that geek girls are never gonna compromise comfort for style. Also, geeks can be beauties too! Smarts, comfort, beauty? That's exactly what this strapless black gown by Israeli designer Sari Gueron offers. The attention to detail and flawless execution is like the sartorial equivalent to the perfect timing played out week after week on 30 Rock. (Or, um, whatever.) It's a dress that just screams, "Live every week like shark week."


Queen Latifah - Best Actress in a Television Miniseries Or Special (Life Support)

A longtime fan of butch suits and matronly gowns, Queen Latifah could have cut a shapely silhouette in this Catherine Malandrino ensemble. Malandrino, a designer with a bold color palette who understands that real women have curves, would be perfectly suited to Queen Latifah's personality. These wide-legged white trousers require a woman unafraid to be assertive and the delicate top, emblazoned with a faux flower, require a woman who also enjoys her feminine side.


Samantha Morton - Best Supporting Actress in a Television Show or Miniseries (Longford)

Samantha Morton is kooky, quirky, and quite the chameleon. Yet her acting work is undoubtedly some of the smartest and most complicated being done today. Which is why her fashion soul mate should be John Galliano. High drama + flawless execution + a guaranteed pinch of the unexpected = Perfect Morton-wear. This ruffled frock is sexy, not girly; fierce, not fainting. Also, have I mentioned lately how much I love orange? Morton would rock this like the oddball sexpot that she is.

Atonement, Sweeney Todd win Golden Globes [Reuters]