- An upcoming book, Low Down Dirty Shame, alleges that Rihanna likes sexytimes with women.
- Ladies and gentlemen, Swiftenhaal is no more.
- Brace yourself: Lady Gaga's New Year's Eve was low-key.
- Miley Cyrus's bong hit video was not a commercial. But. Because people are stupid, sales of salvia have increased since Friday, with customers specifically asking for "the stuff Miley was smoking."
- Christina Aguilera, a woman who cannot stop releasing songs that are a metaphor for her vagina, celebrated her new found freedom by allegedly engaging in a menage a trois with Sam Ronson, America's favorite gateway lesbian.
Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I go on a tabloid-only diet! Today, Ashton's accused of cheating on Demi (again); Snooki talks about her anorexia and body image troubles; and Angelina is ruining her kids' lives.
- Paris Hilton has been charged with felony cocaine possession.
Ke$ha. No matter what you think of her, you can't argue that the "Tik Tok" singer has managed make herself a topic. And in doing so, she is severing the musical ties that bind. It's a pop-culture Civil War.
- Residents of Oyster Bay, Long Island, NY are mesmerized by the dreamy and mystical presence of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who have been getting cozy in their town.
- Interesting: Chris Brown and Rihanna are "taking a break." They're not calling it a breakup, though.
- Instead of appearing at the Grammy Awards, Chris Brown - seen at left with Rihanna at a pre-Grammy party - was arrested for a felony battery.
Straight, Gay or Lindsay Lohan—we can all enjoy a good Lezebel. What is a Lezebel? She's a girl who likes girls who is liked by us girls at Jezebel, get it? Good, to the list!