• Britney showed up at the MTV awards. And talked. And somehow won a few. Then Russell Brand made jokes about promise rings and George Bush. [E!]
• Jordin Sparks defended purity rings and some people in the crowd cheered. MTV used to be edgy and subversive, right? [People]
• Schlocky tabloid paper News Of The World is reporting that Lindsay Lohan wants to have a baby and raise the kid with Sam Ronson. LL apparently wants one of her ex-boyfriends to be the baby daddy. [News.com.au]
• No money for old men? Tommy Lee Jones is suing Paramount Pictures, claiming he was promised "significant box-office bonuses" from No Country for Old Men, which made more than $160 million. [USA Today]

• Cancer survivors Christina Applegate, Patrick Swayze, Sheryl Crowe and Lance Armstrong were part of the one-hour Stand Up To Cancer special on TV Friday night. [Reuters]
• "It’s hard to talk about work without talking about things that are personal. Work is personal. I don’t want to talk about my personal life, but it’s on my mind, and it’s in my work." — Michelle Williams, in a rare interview. She also says: "I’m going to take a year off. I think I stopped feeling creative a while ago, and I’m just realizing it now." And: "I’ve always identified with loners and outcasts, I don’t know why. I guess this is why I found a home in independent film. I wanted to work outside the system, which is why all this fame is a real brain teaser. What am I supposed to do with it? Can you work the system without it working you?" [NY Times]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour hit Rome and Her Madgesty said: "I dedicate this song to the pope, because I'm a child of God. All of you are also children of God." Then she sang "Like A Virgin." [Reuters]
• Ellen talks about her wedding! Newsweek asks, "What's the difference between a gay wedding and a straight one?" Ellen says: "Well, the food is gay. The water is gay. There's a gay vibe." And: "I cried when I saw her, because we didn't want to see our outfits beforehand. Actually, I could cry right now thinking about it. I never thought I would have that experience of getting married. I didn't think I was missing anything. I just didn't think about it. But to see her for the first time and to cut a wedding cake, that was surreal for me and I got to experience that with our families around us. I didn't realize how special it was until I did it." [Newsweek]
• Beyoncé: Seen wearing a gigantic, 18 carat flawless diamond valued at more than $5 million dollars. It's apparently a wedding ring from her "secret" marriage to Jay-Z. But yeah, it's huge, look at the picture. [People]
• Gary Coleman hit a man with his truck outside a Utah bowling alley. Was the guy harassing Gary and his wife? Or was Gary drunk? More info to come! [E!]
• David Beckham is well-endowed. In the pants. [The Sun]
• People are loving Daniel Radcliffe in Equus, including that infamous nude scene. [People]
• This Angelina Jolie doll, created by artist Noel Cruz, looks so much like Angie it's scary. Someone paid £2,000 for it on eBay and has the option of having tattoos added for an additional fee. Brad Pitt not included. [The Sun]
• Poor Brad never gets any sleep, but his kids make him laugh. [People]
• Is Pamela Anderson secretly seeing a member of the Royal Family of Dubai? [Global Voices]
• Remember Sam Lufti? Apparently in Lynne Spears' new book, she writes that he threatened Britney's life. Sam allegedly said to Lynne: "If you try to get rid of me, she'll be dead and I'll (expletive) on her grave." [UPI]
• Chris Brown has written a couple of songs for Britney. Whether she'll sing them is another story. [AP]
• The Florida Federation of Republican Women says they are boycotting Oprah's show and magazine because she's not having Sarah Palin as a guest on her program. Should Oprah feel like she has to give equal time? She's an Obama supporter and says: "At the beginning of this presidential campaign when I decided that I was going to take my first public stance in support of a candidate, I made the decision not to use my show as a (platform) for any of the candidates." [UPI]
• In 1998, Tom Cruise's wife was in a Broadway play. It's 2008 and Tom Cruise's wife is in a Broadway play! But Katie Holmes' part is not like Nicole Kidman's was. For starters, Katie isn't naked. [NY Times]
• Get your motors running: Prince William and Prince Harry will go on a motorcycle ride through Africa to raise money for orphans and AIDS victims. The 1,000 mile ride across South Africa and Lesotho is almost entirely off-road and the temperature will be around 104°. Hardcore! [Telegraph]
• Are Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson expecting twins? [Yahoo News]
• Amy Winehouse performed on the Isle of Wight on Saturday and her show was "patchy," with some fans walking away before it was over. Maybe she needs a long vacation? [The Sun]
• Noel Gallagher was tackled to the ground by a fan on stage in Canada, and yes, there is video. [BBC News]
• Brooke Shields is mildly funny in the commercial for the new VW minivan. [USA Today]
• Posh dining? Victoria Beckham and TV chef Gordon Ramsay are opening a traditional English restaurant in L.A. [Mirror]
• Headline of the day: "'Heather Mills Is A Bitch Who Tricked Me Into Spreading Lies About Paul McCartney,' Claims Her Ex-Hollywood PR." [Daily Mail]
• Also: Seems like Heather Mills promised a bunch of cash to the Adopt-A-Minefield charity — which helps clear mines from former war zones — and hasn't delivered. [The Sun]
• Emma Watson has bought a £1 million ski chalet in France. Now that she is 18, she can spend that Harry Potter and Chanel money! [The Sun]
• Jennifer Aniston says working on 30 Rock was "awesome — really, really fun." [ET]
• Coco Sumner, daughter of Sting and Trudie Styler, showed up at a movie premiere with her hair half shaved and part of an eyebrow missing. "Me and my mates were really stoned and thought it would be fun to shave our heads," she says. "My mum flipped when she saw me." [Mirror]
• Jessica Simpson debuted at the Grand Ole Opry on Saturday night. One viewer said: "I think she should have put some clothes on." There's video if you want to see her boobalicious outfit. [People]
• There's lots of Spider-Man 4 buzz, but Tobey Maguire is not a lock. Yet. [Yahoo News]
• Lily Allen's friend who was kidnapped was rescued just minutes before he was going to be executed. [Mirror]
• Thandie Newton prepared to play Condi Rice in Oliver Stone's new movie W by reading as much as she could. "I had two things going on: reading about this young woman, and the incredible story of the Bush administration. This gigantic beast, this machine and how it was cranking toward war. I wanted to become drunk with knowledge." [Times Of London]
• Kirsten Dunst may play the late singer Eva Cassidy in a movie by Robert Redford's daughter Amy. [The Sun]
• Singer Estelle thinks it's okay that Kanye West is a little egotistical. "I think more people should follow him, and be more cocky and more proud of their work." Kanye probably replied: YES!!!!!!!!! [E!]
• Sadie Frost and her friends drank £50k of champagne in one evening. How much Advil did they need the next day? [Mirror]
• The buzz, heh, on The Secret Life Of Bees, starring Dakota Fanning, Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Sophie Okonedo and Jennifer Hudson, is "very, very good." Roger Friedman says: "It’s a beautifully balanced, extremely nuanced drama that never gets overly sentimental." [Fox 411]
• Even though Joe Francis has a tax-dodging trial pending, a federal judge says he's allowed to be on the new season of Celebrity Apprentice. But! He won't be on Celebrity Apprentice because he's doing some other Donald Trump project instead. [E!]
• Janet Jackson got emotional while picking up a BMI Urban Award with her brothers (but not Michael) on Thursday night. [People]
• Shelley Malil, who played a dude named Haziz in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, was charged Friday with burglary and assault with a deadly weapon. He's been in jail since August 11 on attempted murder charges for stabbing his ex-girlfriend with two knives (while chasing her around her home as her two kids slept). [CNN]
• Spike Lee is working on a sequel to the Clive Owen/Denzel Washington crime drama Inside Man. [UPI]
• Tiger Woods has this estate in Florida and the average water usage is 10,000 gallons a month. He's almost in the top 25 water guzzlers in Orange County, Florida. But doesn't he like, travel a lot? Where is all the water going? Hopefully not sprinklers for grassy putting greens. [TMZ]
• Olivia Newton-John celebrated her third wedding anniversary with a third wedding ceremony. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Mickey Rourke is in a low-budget picture called The Wrestler and he won the coveted Golden Lion award for best movie at the Venice Film Festival on Saturday. [Reuters]
• RIP silent film star Anita Page, who worked with Buster Keaton, Lon Chaney and Joan Crawford. [BBC News]
• "When my wife's working and I've got time off, I'm just Mr. Mom during the day, taking care of the little girl." — Keith Urban. [UPI]
• "My apologies to the cast and crews of My Name Is Earl and Scrubs. In my frustration with NBC's reprehensible promotion of 30 Rock, I took an unfortunate swipe at both of those shows and that was not cool. But, for Earl's creator, Greg Garcia, who referred to me as a 'psychotic,' I have only one question. Why are you Scientologists always rendering these medical opinions you aren't qualified to give?" — Alec Baldwin. [Perez Hilton]
• "I fly economy. I do often fly first class, but I don't travel with a posse, or bodyguard, or an assistant. I use other people's infrastructure. For instance, I am going to address the AARP convention in Washington, D.C. I will fly first class to New York on AARP's dime, get into a town car, stay not in a grand suite, but a nice hotel room. I don't pretend to be poor, but somewhere in the middle is O.K." — Gene Simmons. [BusinessWeek]
• "I could never be as successful as the Spice Girls – there were five of us in that group, and alone you can only do so much. But it’s nice to be able to have a go. I’ll have a new album out by January. I don’t get nervous about how it will do or feel pressure to have massive success. I believe in what I do and if people like it, great, and if they don’t then, whatever. The highlight of my career was the girls coming back together and deciding to do a goodbye tour… My jaw was aching for weeks when we first got back on stage, I couldn’t stop smiling." —Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. [Mirror]
• "I'm single and crush-less… Like Hugh Hefner in his blonde phase, I’m in my European passport-holding era; American men need not apply." — Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]

• 32-year-old Mark Ronson is dating "underwear model" Daisy Lowe — the 18-year-old daughter of Gavin Rossdale. Pout. [The Sun]
  
• Joe Simpson is offering the tabloids a $1 million photo/interview deal for engaged and pregnant daughter Ashlee — but the mags are like: Hahaha! No. [Page Six]
  
• As reported yesterday, Naomi Campbell erroneously believes British Airways actually wants her to fly with them again. [Page Six]
  
• Arrested Development funnyman David Cross, 43 and Joan of Arcadia star Amber Tamblyn, 24: Seen making out. [Page Six]
  
• The casting for Paris Hilton's reality show in which she looks for a new best friend is not going so well. Not that you give a shit. [MSNBC]

• Yesterday was Blake Fielder-Civil's birthday, but it seems wife Amy Winehouse didn't visit him, hmmm... [The Sun]
• Psst! Pseudo-spoiler! Someone dies in the Sex And The City Movie. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity stylist has been banned by Louis Vuitton because its stuff has a habit of not coming back from her shoots? She also had that full-figured star of a hit TV comedy leave the set in tears after telling her, 'Ugh, I can't believe you don't fit into that!'" [Gatecrasher]
• Sources say Rob Lowe's nanny is a flirt who likes older men. [TMZ]
• Uh, the nanny did a shoot for People magazine, btw. [TMZ]
• The nanny's lawyer, Gloria Allred, says it's because the nanny (Jessica Gibson) "has nothing to hide." [People]
• The restraining order against leechy Sam Lufti has been extended: He's agreed to stay away from Britney Spears through July. [TMZ]
• Britney's been taking voice lessons? And spending time in the studio "just for fun"? WTF? [E!]
• Cameron Diaz says her father, Emilio Diaz, who passed away on Tuesday, "was loved by so many people, and his humor and spirit will always live on in our hearts." [People]
• Daniel Craig's James Bond is the "first metrosexual Bond," says an insider. "As well as fake tan, bronzer, eye cream, cleanser, toner and moisturizer, Daniel's been having regular manicures." As long as he's hot and suave, who cares? Leave the man alone! [Mirror]
• Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez is annoyed that people are curious whether or not she's gay. As for the bloggers who write about it: "I picture them turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off. I don't answer those questions. I just keep it to myself and it's nobody's business. If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog, that's my business. That's why there's bathroom doors. What the majority of (people) want to know is what I'm doing with my vagina, and I think that that's sick. What do you care who I'm dating? I can tell when somebody just wants to know about sex. And it makes me sick." Touchy, touchy! [Mirror]
• Kylie Minogue thinks about having a hubs and kids but says, "Other days, I think perhaps this is not right for me. I never had the feeling of a conventional marriage." [The Sun]
• Barbra Streisand has given $5 million to Cedars-Sinai to fund research and education for women's heart disease. [Yahoo News]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince are "very very happy," says Kate's friend Sadie Frost. Good to know. [People]
• An Austrian woman is wanted by authorities for failing to appear in court on charges of stalking and threatening to kill CSI: Miami star David Caruso. Doesn't he seem too creepy to stalk? [Miami Herald]
• "I'm a huge fan of gays. They love me; I love them. They consider me kind of a gay icon, which they've labeled me as." — Tori Spelling. [Reuters]
• Wow, Chloe Sevigny's hair in Big Love does kind of look like the real Texas polygamists hair! [TMZ]

Us
"My New Dating Rules!" Lauren Conrad's perky face beams from the cover. L.C. has had a ladyboner recently for artists and musicians because "they tend to be more sensitive." Her new rules for dating include reading The Game, googling prospective sweethearts, waiting for boys to call her, letting boys pay for dinner, and not hooking up with boys on the first date. Sounds like someone has been reading The Rules as well. Lauren also has a crush on Zac Efron because "his hair is always so pretty!" Meanwhile, Us devotes six pages to two separate Britney features, more notably an interview with Brit's former assistant, Kalie Machado. Kalie, who earned $4,000 for her 3 months in Spears' employ, mostly goes over old territory about Brit's sobbing jags and crappy mothering, but adds, "I never saw her take prescription medication — but she needed it. She needs mental help." In addition: Angelina and Jen battle it out on separate covers of W Magazine (Jen is "shocked and disappointed" that W decided to run the cover, which has a fake signature from Jen courtesy of artist Richard Prince); Jerry Seinfeld dabbled in Scientology 30 years ago ("I learned some things about communication that really got my act going."); Cate Blanchett might be sporting a baby bump; A feature about celebs mating with men who look like their fathers (J.Lo's dad looks creepily like Marc Anthony); Lilo drops out of her New Year's Eve hosting duties at Pure in Las Vegas — maybe she'll really stay sober this time around!
Grade: B+ (Ryan Gosling's hotness level in The Notebook)

In Touch
"A Wedding to Keep Brad," announces the cover, which In Style calls an "Exclusive," but mostly includes old Pitt quotes from British Cosmo. A "confidant" tells the mag that Brad wants to get hitched because "Deep down, Brad is haunted that, if they split, Angie would automatically get to keep the kids." Also inside: another week, another Britney article, but this one has a quote from Hyde-goer and L.A. musician Scott Kohler who says, "I watched Britney let a guy do a line of coke off her chest." It's no purple drank, but it's still a pretty scandalous. In Touch also wonders whether Dannielynn might have mental issues because of Anna Nicole's drug use while pregs (though baby daddy Larry Birkhead insists, "She is just fine and advanced in her developmental milestones."); Jessica Simpson and Owen Wilson are hanging out and possibly banging ("They cracked each other up."); Lindsay is talking about moving in with new beau Riley Giles (though 79% of readers think she's "moving too fast"); crazed Mariah Carey fans get "M" tattoos in honor of Mimi and knocked up Halle Berry is now officially a D-cup. Finally, Mary-Kate Olsen may have found Jesus (or conversely, is Jesus). She was overheard outside the Beatrice Inn shouting, "Christ saves all! I save all! Consider yourself saved!" It sounds like she found Jesus at the bottom of a bottle of tequila.
Grade: D+ (Ryan Gosling in Lars and the Real Girl)

Star
The cover blares Katie and Tom "Torn Apart!" Allegedly Katie is threatened by Tom's closeness with a number of "women" on the German set of his WWII drama Valkyrie. Katie "fears that her superstar husband could be keeping secrets from her." We could have told her that two years ago! Another juicy Lindsay Lohan rumor: sources say LiLo feared that she was pregnant by new boyf Riley Giles because she had packed on the pounds in rehab. Giles proposed in light of the alleged fetus, but Lindsay turned him down. Linds got her period a few days later and the marriage talk ceased. In other LiLo news, she was a bad influence on the other kids in rehab and "mixed whippits and the cold medicine Coricidin" to get high when she was at Promises during her first rehab stint. Leo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli are purportedly dunzo. Bar got the boot because she was pressuring Leo to marry her and she's apparently seeking solace in the arms of Cameron Diaz ex Kelly Slater. More on Brangelina — Brad's mom called Ange "trailer trash" for repeatedly discussing her drug use in interviews. In closing, K-fed has gained 25 pounds since becoming a "full time daddy" and is now being called "K-fat."
Grade: C- (Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson)

Life & Style
The cover wonders whether Brit-brit has a bun in the oven, saying "Friends Fear that Britney is Pregnant Again!" The fertile chanteuse has been missing her Depo-Provera shots and misplacing birth control pills in the meantime. She's allegedly been getting it on without a rubber with producer J.R. Rotem, "illusionist" Criss Angel and bff Sam Lufti. In additional Jen vs. Angie news, Jen is gaining weight while Angelina steadily loses it. Possible fauxmance Gyllenspoon was spotted at Kate Hudson's star-studded Halloween party and Pink was scoped making kissyface with another lady.
Grade: D (Ryan Gosling in the Mickey Mouse Club)

OK!
The British rag claims Tom & Katie are "Making it Work!" and gives their "10 rules for a strong marriage," which include breakfast in bed and lots of red roses (original!). Friends expect Kate to be up the stick again within the year. Also inside: an interview with Heidi's ex-coworker Elodie Otto from the Hills ("Spencer is nuts...I think those two [Speidi] are infatuated with each other and themselves; Janet Jackson gives advice on how to "conquer yo-yo dieting" (eat egg whites greens and salmon! Which is what every star diet says!); Kelly Slater gets around — in addition to Bar and Cameron, he's also been seen with other DiCaprio ex Gisele Bundchen.
Grade: D- (No Ryan Gosling at all)