• Clinton told her supporters to stop talking smack about Caroline Kennedy unless they're going to endorse someone else. She doesn't want people to believe it's coming from her. [Politico]

• Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has weighed in with New York Governor David Paterson on Kennedy's behalf. [CNN]
• President Bush is backing his brother Jeb's nascent run for the soon-to-be-empty Florida Senate seat currently held by the retiring Mel Martinez. [The Hill]
• Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich wants the RNC to shut the fuck up already and pull its ads that misleadingly link Barack Obama to corrupt Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. In case you're worried that he's siding with Obama, don't be worried: he's doing at part of the internecine warfare in the GOP. [Huffington Post]
• Hoping to take advantage of that warfare, Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius's withdrawal from Cabinet consideration leads some people to believe she might try to run for the Senate when Republican Senator Sam "Snowflake Baby" Brownback runs for her seat. [Politico]
• The 2008 Minnesota Senate race might even be done by then. [The Hill]
• A grand jury is investigating possible corruption in New Mexico that might ensnare Commerce Secretary nominee (and current governor) Bill Richardson. How grabby were those hands? [Huffington Post]
• Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. says he's been snitching to the feds about Blagojevich since last summer, when Blagojevich held up Jackson's wife's appointment to a state board for political donations. [Huffington Post]
• Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer thinks that being a columnist for Slate "sucks" because he used to be a governor. Hey, asshole, with all these media layoffs, I'll bet they could find someone who would happily write a column for them! (My e-mail is on the masthead, by the way). [Politico]

Abercrombie & Fitch
This probably won't shock you: Abercrombie & Fitch is torn between mindless apathy and pure evil. In the past six election cycles only one candidate has managed to crack a thousand in campaign contributions collected from Abercrombie employees' studiously frayed pockets, and that politician would be — you guessed it! — George W. Bush. The Skull & Bones candidate has raised $5,000 in racist classist Abercrombie dollars over the past few cycles, largely thanks to spokesman Tom Lennox. It is the only retailer whose employees have contributed to the Worst Presidency Ever.

Urban Outfitters
Urban Outfitters founder and CEO Dick Hayne is notorious for his support of that weird Pennsylvania senator who brought home his dead baby and became the first politician to become synonymous with butt sex. But the single largest recipient of Urban Outfitters campaign contributions has been Barack Obama, whose $7,400 collected from various executives — perhaps subliminally influenced by those clever T-shirts? — just tops the $7,100 of Dick's dollars that have lined the coffers of Rick Santorum.

J. Crew
J.Crew is your store if you are into uneasy family reunions! CEO Mickey Drexler has donated nearly a hundred grand to Democratic committees alone, while octogenarian founder Arthur Cinader likes lining the coffers of any fucking batshit Republican who bats an eyelash his away. Cinader has donated to Alan Keyes, Sam Brownback and Malcolm Forbes, but his fave is Phil Gramm, who has received $8,000 from him over the years.

Barney's
Barney's is the place to shop if you like avant-garde design and hate Hillary. Employees have donated thousands of dollars to New York politicians over the past few years — $1000 to Charlie Rangel, $4,000 to Chuck Schumer, $3,000 to Rudy — and a mere five Benjamins to Hills. (Though $250 did come from creative director Julie Gilhart, who is like the Karl Rove of fashion trends. Perhaps she likes pantsuits?)

Forever 21
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the store for your blue-collar budget is the biggest supporter of the Hillary Clinton campaign, clocking in at $11,500. Interestingly, two executives also donated a total of $4,000 to Rudy Giuliani's campaign and another $2,300 to Obama. Everyone knows variety = the spice of Forever 21!

• Golf? Snooze. A 12 year old girl becoming the youngest female to ever qualify for United States Women's Open? Pretty awesome. [USAToday]
  
• Another reason to tell you boyfriend to stop singing the same damn song in the shower every morning: Scientists say the number of different songs a male bird can sing is a signal of its sexual prowess. [Guardian]
  
• Women, take note! Health experts have identified a set of symptoms — including bloating, pelvic/abdominal pain, frequent urination and difficulty eating — that may be early indicators of ovarian cancer. [NYTimes]
  
• A former swimsuit model with no journalism experience but busty, blonde good looks has been made an anchorwoman at a CBS affiliate in Tyler, Texas. [ABCNews]
  
• Presidential candidate and United States Senator Sam Brownback: No abortion, even for rape victims. [Feministing]

John McCain: The Arizona senator screams Politician 101, with his blue shirt with a red and blue striped tie. The quintessential white guy running for office uniform.

Rudy Giuliani: Rudy's red tie also says he's a white guy running for office. It's also a visual clue that he's a Republican for any of those other Republicans worried that all that crazy NYC liberalism might've rubbed-off on him during that unfortunate mayoral stint. Also, red tie = Christian white dude.

Mitt Romney: Funny, but the former governor of Massachusetts is also a... white Christian dude. But he's a Mormon, mind you, and distinguishes this by going with slightly-alt politician blue as opposed to slightly-conservative red. But it's still one of the two go-to politician tie colors, so we can rest assured that he still doesn't want us to have an abortion.

Sam Brownback: Whoa, Brownback almost threw us for a loop there. The senator from Kansas' tie is neither red nor blue! Thank goodness he's Christian and white or else that green-hued tie might have misled us to believe he's one of those wacky, God-hating, Negro environmentalists!

Tommy Thompson: White shirt, red tie, angry hands: The former governor of Wisconsin is also definitely (just want to hammer this home one more time!) a Christian white dude running for the Republican nomination. The suit and tie alone, we know, just say plain ol' politician, but the angry hands screaming about why we have to rid out country of the evils of gay marriage (you know, as opposed to dependence on foreign oil) totes says "I [Heart] The GOP" even more than an "I [Heart] The GOP" t-shirt would.

Mike Huckabee: The former governor of Arkansas also sports classic blue — but in a subtle pattern! We'd worry that 'pattern' might equate 'Democrat' (if not also, possibly, 'homo' — the gays like patterns, don't they?), but, thankfully, he's a guy who hates Darwin. Sleep safely tonight, Republicans — this man's no fashion fag.

Tom Tancredo: Also known as poor man's Giuliani, the representative from Colorado whose last name (tread lightly, friend, tread lightly) also belies an ethnic heritage is wearing (yawn) a white shirt with (yawn) a red tie and (yawn) a dark suit.

Jim Gilmore: He's the former governor of Virginia. White shirt. Red tie. Dark suit. Christian. White. Male. Gilmore bores us, and we'd like to stop trying to think of something that sets him apart from his fellow candidates (he's even sporting the Republican angry hands, damnit!), but we just can't and would rather go back to watching the Kathy Griffin marathon we TiVo'd. (No, you people don't want to watch with us. Kathy likes gays and hates the war.)

Duncan Hunter: Duncan, Duncan, Duncan; What's with that ambiguously dark tie? If this guy wasn't a [insert obviousness here], that whole "I'm from California" thing + the die would totally yield some major Republican mud-slinging. But whatever, almost no one's ever heard of him anyway.

Ron Paul: Uh, oh, Ron's wearing blue. And he's got some sorta funny pin on his jacket. This can't be helping his fellow Republicans' suspicions that he's actually...a Communist spy. Thank god he didn't wear pink!