Also, bachelor's in cookies? here I was this whole time, majoring in art history LIKE A FOOL!!!

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The cookie sell is wretched.

The rewards and awards all go to the girls whose relatives will flog their order sheets at work and at events. (And starting in 1990 we were forbidden to go door-to-door in our council, because of a Boy Scout who got raped and murdered by a neighbor.) Back when I did it, the girls only got 9 cents of camp credit per box sold, and it was just that: camp credit. Nothing else. AND. If your troop chose not to sell cookies for a calendar year, you were forbidden to do ANY other fundraising during that year.

Girl Scouts can do some amazing things but I really hope the cookie sale isn't as much of a scam as it used to be. Because I need some Samoas.

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Perfecting the art of the guilt trip: whoever said Girl Scouts didn't teach you anything useful.

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Entitlement and consumerism, FTW?

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A young girl once dreamed of becoming a Girl Scout, only to have her hopes dashed by her parents, whose only response was, "Dammit Mittens; you will not be a girl scout because you need to learn to play the damn pipe organ and daddy doesn't want to pay for both! So go back to the living room and I want to hear "When the Saints Go Marching In, now!" So the little girl felt so left out that she made a green sash and cut little felt shapes to use as badges, and lied to all the kids at school that she was a girl scout from a troop across town. When cookie time came, one of the cool girl scouts gave her a box of Tagalongs, because little Mittens was indeed, a tag-along. She bit into the cookie, forgot about becoming a girl scout, and instead ate a box of Tagalongs every year...as she perfected the damn organ.

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A. So that we could win whatever ridiculous prize it was for selling the most cookies in our troop, my sisters and I all combined our sales to one order sheet so it was like SpaceSister OCD- 6000 boxes, SpaceSister Bitchy- 0 boxes, SpaceKid Bill Leah- 0 boxes. We always won.

B. Our house was the depository for all cookies in the city. Every troop leader had to come over and get their troop's stuff. So for a few week in Feb Every year one room in our house was literally wall-to-wall with GS cookies. We used to build forts with them

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Dulce de Leche cookies. OMG SO GOOD.

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