Jezebel: sadie's choice

Help Me Choose An Outfit To Keep George Bush Away From My Womb

Megan — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 16:20:00 EST

When George H.W. Bush said that "ugly" feminists don't have to worry about him becoming interested in their wombs, I knew I had to do something to make sure I was counted among their ranks.

I mean, I like high heels! I wear make-up and have a tendency to don low-cut shirts! Sometimes, I tie cherry stems in knots with my tongue while doing all of the above! It's entirely possible that H-Dub could look at me and think that I'm not-ugly enough to be worth penetrating with his throbbing manhood of former-Presidential power. I obviously need some help. So, I turned to Sadie, and now, as she has done before, we are turning to you. Help me pick out a Feminazi bonerkilling outfit that will make H-Dub's junk shrink back into his lower abdomen, leaving me to live my feminist-protesting, anti-patriarchy-caterwauling life in peace.

I like to call this "The Second Waver." You've got your obligatory glasses ("Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses!"), your vest over an anti-Bush T-shirt referencing cunnilingus, which give the outfit vague lesbian overtones, the long skirt to hide my obviously unshaven legs, and it's been paired with (if you can't tell) faux-suede clogs and mismatched socks. But can it do the trick?

SADIE SEZ: The vest makes it. If you omit a bra here, we might have a winner!

In homage to my father (yes, this is his actual nickname), I am calling this "The Butch." You've got your wife-beater paired with a baggy shirt (bonus points if you recognize the comic logo), baggy ripped jeans and some steel-toed boots. I put my hair up for extra androgyny.

SADIE SEZ: If at all possible, please accessorize with a rugged dog with a bandana around his neck.

Last up, I've got my homage to an earlier version of Stevie Nicks, completely with a long, flowy black skirt, multiple scarves, dated glasses and chunky Mary Janes (which I know Stevie doesn't wear because she's short than me, but I hear real feminists eschew heels altogether). I did manage to unearth a beaded choker, but I guess I lost all my crystal jewelry a while back. I decided the witch's hat was optional.

SADIE SEZ: This just cries out for dreamcatcher earrings! Def a crystal - to hold your energy, obvs - possibly contained in a tiny crochet pouch. And a vaguely ethnic boho bag, perhaps?! Very SF by way of Adams-Morgan, a veritable GWB Bermuda Triangle!

So which outfit will help me best avoid sexual objectification by at least one of our former Presidents? You decide.

Earlier: George H.W. Bush Wants Nothing To Do With "Ugly" Feminist Women
Some Women Will Do Anything To Justify A Shoe-Obsession
Marie Claire Dating Blogger Leaves Us Speechless
How To Tie A Cherry Stem In A Knot With Your Tongue
Solicitations: Help Me Choose A Meet The Parents Outfit
Solicitations: Help Me Choose A Holiday Party Outfit

Outfits provided by Megan's closet
Photography by Greg Hunter

Solicitations: Help Me Choose A Holiday Party Outfit

Sadie — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:40:00 EST

A few months ago, with your help, I successfully met the parents. You'd think that would be the end of such sartorial stresses, but no: on the strength of this, I have been invited to my fiancé's family's annual huge holiday party, where I will meet his sisters, all his parents' friends, various exes, and basically everyone of importance in his life. Obviously the outfit is the least of it but — and it's a big but —when you feel good about that it's a real load off. Here are the deets: it's in L.A., so my NYC winter finery's a bit heavy but it's in some hilly, woodsy area and there will be a fire. When pressed, my fiance said vaguely that the women wear "festive" ensembles of skirts and tops; his dad will be sporting a Christmas sweater. From these unhelpful guidelines I have assembled the following options:

This is probably the closest to "skirt and festive top," but does it feel a little bit dull and mature?

Is this too fancy? Or just — too weird? Note: this can be further enlivened by the addition of a snowflake brooch of my late grandmother's for maximum festivity.

I like the idea of this dress, but is it not holiday enough?

In case you can't tell, this is a silver metallic knit — probably one of the more festive fabrications in my closet — but is it too casual?

Earlier: Solicitations: Help Me Choose A Meet The Parents Outfit

Meet The Parents...An Update

Sadie — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:30:00 EDT

Thanks to the readers who heeded my desperate plea, I successfully chose an outfit for my Saturday Meet the Parents extravaganza! The blue embroidered dress (ironed and sans shadows that look like boob sweat) won by a generous margin and turned out to be a perfect choice for the humid weather. More to the point, all went swimmingly! Will certainly be soliciting opinions again next time I have such a weighty decision.

Solicitations: Help Me Choose A Meet The Parents Outfit

Sadie — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 17:20:00 EDT

I am not usually given to last-minute outfit neuroses. But then, I am not normally given to meeting future in-laws either. Tomorrow we're having brunch, then walking across Central Park, then going to the Metropolitan Museum, then hopefully dispersing for a nap or something, then meeting up with my folks for dinner at a fairly casual Italian dinner in the West Village. It's supposed to be about 80 degrees. And I still have no idea what to wear. I mean, with this one outfit I have to convey that I'm responsible, demure, chic, sweet, smart — but I also want to look okay. I mean, I might be giving these people grandkids. Normally, I'd just wear my trusty blue denim (left.) But when I looked at it last night, I saw that it was showing its age: even blinded by love, I could see that it was a bit ratty for the occasion. I've narrowed it down to four; please help me decide amongst them. Seriously, I'm not being cute, I really need input here. The choices, and my best "I'm-a-little-Teapot," after the jump!

When we were going to be meeting for dinner first, this was my choice. But it seems a little dressy for day, no? It's blue Swiss Dot.

Is this too sweet?

Is this just frumpy?

I don't feel my most comfortable in pants but "jeans" feels right...but is this too sexy?