• A month after being diagnosed with breast cancer, Christina Applegate is now cancer-free. "I'm clear," she told Robin Roberts of Good Morning America earlier today. "Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. It did not spread — they got everything out, so I'm definitely not going to die from breast cancer." She went on to say: "My decision, after looking at all the treatment plans that were possibilities for me, the only one that seemed the most logical and the one that was going to work for me was to have a bilateral mastectomy." Apparently she had the surgery about three weeks ago. She'll have reconstructive surgery in the coming months. Be well! [ABC News]
• Madonna made a 40-minute speech on her birthday and admitted that she was "disappointed" that some of her celebrity BFFs, including Gwyneth Paltrow and Stella McCartney, didn't come to her party. But! Lourdes sang for her, and Guy told her she's beautiful. Is it enough for the woman who wants it all? (Do you think Madge gets depressed?) [MSNBC]
• Apparently Jennifer Aniston is not impressed that John "The Player" Mayer made that speech about her being the smartest most sophisticated person ever. A friend of Jen's says: "He is the biggest jerk ever. How dare he set up a p.r. stunt like that? He should be ashamed of himself and just shut his mouth." [Page Six]

• Now that she's broken up with Lance Armstrong, Kate Hudson has been calling old flame Owen Wilson! "He was frosty at first," says an insider. "He felt betrayed when she dumped him for his friend Lance. But after a while, he caved in and has been sweet to her." Déjà vu all over again. [Star]
• Three words: Beckham The Musical! [People]
• Shirtless pictures of Rafael Nadal. [ONTD via NY Mag]
• Jemaine Clement of Flight Of The Conchords got married! The lucky lady is his long-time girlfriend, Miranda Manasiadis; the ceremony took place in a Los Angeles registry office and costar Bret McKenzie was in attendance. Time to listen to that song Jemaine and Bret wrote for us. [Stuff.co.nz]
• Joshua Radin, the dude who sang at Ellen and Portia's wedding, says: "I cannot imagine topping that experience. I've never played a wedding before, and I probably won't again until it's my own.” Oh and what's this? Pictures in People on newsstands on Friday? Online today? Noted! [People]
• Post-Madonna and estranged wife Cynthia, Alex Rodriguez has been seeing women in Miami's South Beach as well as New York. Don't hate the player, hate the game. [Page Six]
• Britney's custody dispute has been resolved, but it certainly cost her: She owes lawyers over $700,000. [AP]
• Both Donnie Wahlberg and his wife filed for divorce from each other on the same day, within hours. The feeling is mutual. [TMZ]
• Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild will be tried on federal charges in L.A. in September. Did he deduct $20 million in fraudulent expenses on corporate tax returns? He says his accountant set him up, but he also brought "contraband" (sleeping pills, prescription drugs and $700 in cash) into jail and is being sued by GGW ladies. [NY Times]
• Sadie Frost went over to Amy Winehouse's and "left in the early hours in tatters, wearing the singer’s ballerina pumps and showing off her bra strap through an unbuttoned dress." Also? Intoxicated. Obvs. [The Sun]
• Lily Allen's been airing her business on her MySpace: "Now, the album. It has been finished for a while now. I don't really know what's going on with it… I might go on another holiday as I don't have anything else to do." [Mirror]
• Lily Allen smacked a French woman in the street after the passerby called her a "fucking asshole." Amy and Lily need to get in the studio and off of the streets! [The Sun]
• Leonardo DiCaprio: "The worst dancer ever." [Page Six]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt want to have a "clan" like Brad and Angelina: adopted and biological kids. "We'd be so lucky to have a clan like that," says Heidi. She also says: "I used to want to be a missionary… Go to the U.N. for World Hunger and really, you know, not just go there for a safari, but go there to actually help." Lord help us all. [Yahoo News]
• Heidi and Spencer will get married: Heidi is just "waiting for that big ring." Also, she wants the wedding to air live on TV. She says she won't leave the show, because, "Where would I go?" How about "away"? [Pop Sugar]
• Oh, and by the way, Heidi and Spencer would love to take over The Hills. "I think that maybe Lauren is tired of [being on the show], but we’re just beginning," Heidi says. "We’re not even remotely sick of it." [People]
• Lauren Conrad on The Hills: "The show is definitely reaching its end. It's been so amazing and I've loved most of it, but I think there is going to come a time where I need to live my life for myself and not in front of viewers. I'm young and having fun with it now, but it's not something I am going to be able to do forever, obviously." [ET]
• In news older than your grandma, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are being blamed for the popularity of small dogs. [Mirror]
• Tori Spelling's bad boob job will make your chest hurt. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Uma Thurman is on the cover of the new In Style and says she would maybe have more kids: "If it's meant to happen, it will. I love and adore being a mother." [People]
• Buckle your seatbelts: Peaches Geldof is moving to the U.S. [Mirror]
• Kelly Osbourne says of Peaches: "It’s a bit sad, to be honest. It’s a great big cry for help and people need to stop talking about her and, you know, maybe all she needs is a hug." [Daily Express]
• New couple alert: Bow Wow and Reverend Run's daughter Vanessa. [Page Six]
• Rhys Ifans and Kimberly Stewart wore leather ensembles on a date to famous sushi restaurant Nobu. [The Sun]
• Paris Hilton's boobs: Plastic or push-up bra? [Page Six]
• New Beyoncé album coming November 18. Title: Virtuoso Intellect. [The.Life Files]
• Critics will not be getting advance screeners of the new 90210, which could mean that it sucks. Stay tuned; the show premieres 9/02. [Perez Hilton]
• Brad Pitt is teaming up with Kiehl's but you won't be able to tell. [ET]
• As previously reported, Roseanne has written a post to Jon Voight on her Web site, and it reads thusly: "Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more… Miss Jolie says she likes [John] McCain too and hasn't decided who to endorse....huh? Aren't you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the African daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the Republican party's worldwide economic assault on Africa over the last few decades since Reagan? It might be good for your Asian and African children's self-esteem to know you support [Barack Obama, a man of color] for the leader of the free world." [Us Magazine]

• Literary sensations Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen premiere their first book, Influence. '"Ashley and Mary-Kate take readers on a journey through their celebrated young lives, pausing to reflect on what has helped shape them into who they are today," the book's publisher said in a statement. "They interviewed 20 people and wrote brief essays about each other." Those interviewed include fashion designers Karl Lagerfeld, Diane Von Furstenburg, John Galliano and Christian Louboutin. "We interviewed the people who have inspired us, with the hope that they will inspire and teach others," Mary-Kate said. "We want to explain culturally how ideas evolve."' [People]
• The first "Cavalli Club" will open in Dubai this Fall. Says Roberto, '“living against monotony, with the enjoyment of music, of good food, of pleasant company” is the club’s philosophy. In his goal to offer “multiple culinary and sensorial experiences,” Cavalli plans an Italian restaurant flanked by a sushi bar and a wine bar on the top floor.' We can only assume this will be convenient to Lagerfeld's "Fashion Island." [WWD]
• A new investor allows Sadie Frost's company to live another day. Said a rep of the Jude Law ex and her design partner Jemima French, "Sadie and Jemima relish the opportunity to be fully hands-on again and being able to return to the creative and business helm of a fashion label. Both designers are currently working on their next collection" [Independent]

• The new Calvin Klein "Secret Obsession" campaign, starring Eva Mendes, was deemed too provocative for U.S. air waves - so it's to preview on the 'net. "TV networks will simply not allow Steven Meisel's commercial to be aired - it's too raunchy and risque, featuring Eva enjoying a private, intimate moment, set to a seductive sound track, wearing very little." [ElleUK]
• Lipstick Queen Poppy King should stick to cosmetics: "To be in fashion right now means to understand the difference between feminine and female and to get the balance right: too feminine and we are back in the submission of the '50s, too confrontational and it becomes '80s power woman. But in between these two is that wonderful space that it just 100 percent female—neither overly hostile nor apologetic. Perhaps if Hillary Clinton had got this sense of female right it may have turned out differently for her." [JC Report]
• Ashton Kutcher to return as face of Pepe Jeans London. [VogueUK]
• Cartier apparently thinks it's 2005, teams up with MySpace. [Guardian]
• Denim line Rock & Republic launches makeup line for unclear reasons. [Cosmetics News]
• Hockey player and novelty Vogue intern Sean Avery now dating Calvin Klein's ex-wife, Kelly. Well, they said Wintour was crushing on him, too...[Page Six]
• Modeling agency sues other modeling agency for model poaching. [UPI]
• Jewelry designers haggle over intellectual property. [Fashionista]
• Good old J. Crew weathers economic storm through "honesty and communication." [AdAge]
• Vidal Sassoon on his "rags to riches" story of hairstyling to the stars. [KQED]
• LVMH, Sony settle over musicians playing fast and loose with their trademarks. Kanye West, "Louis Vuitton Don," we're looking at you. [WWD]
• "Supergirl" line a fashion dream team: "Warner Bros. is moving full-steam ahead with a long-term, global Supergirl branded contemporary sportswear line, ready for resort selling. The line is designed by the trio of Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss, Alice Roi and Laura Poretzky." [WWD]
• Weak global economy means less direct sourcing from India. [Business Week]
• Despite Blane's desperate attempts to force a catch-phrase, "boring contestants" and an earlier time slot have Project Runway off to a slow start, ratings-wise. [Portfolio]
• Canadian con man convicted of selling fake Gucci stock options. [WWD]

• The Man is cashing in on National Underwear Day, this ridiculous thing they do in Times Square every year with people running around in undies. This year, those wags will be competing with the pros: "Diesel, Natori, Nautica, Tommy Hilfiger and 2Xist underwear brands will have hotties strutting in their skivvies in a runway show at Espace on Aug. 5. "Lydia Hearst [Who models for Myla - ed] be 10 runway shows."" [Page Six]
• Speaking of unmentionables, Sadie Frost (aka Jude's ex)'s skivvies co, Frost-French, has gone bust to the tune of owing a ton of money. Sources say the actress is devastated. [Mirror]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is teaming up with Saks Fifth Avenue to front its Key to the Cure campaign, a women's cancer initiative. Mrs. Martin will appear in promos and, presumably, sport the tee that Karl Lagerfeld designed for the occasion. [UPI]
• Also in celeb endorsements, apparently Solange Knowles is the new face of Armani Jeans. Quoth Girogio, “Armani Jeans expresses my vision of a young, independent, casual lifestyle with a strong and cool, fashion sensibility. Solange epitomises this style perfectly and brings to it that swing so evident in her new single, I Decided." [Sassybella]

• Diane Von Furstenberg was unanimously reelected head of the Council of Fashion Designers of America. In the past year the CFDA has been active in promoting awareness of health issues in the industry. [WWD]
• Molly Ringwald: "I never thought of myself as an icon...my style was from necessity; my parents kept me on on allowance." [Star Tribune]
• Agyness Deyn is living the American dream, with an apt. in hipster-central Williamsburg, Brooklyn and a brand-new Yank PA. "The girl is responsible for keeping track of Agyness' schedule, travel plans, and general well being, which sounds like the easiest job in the world, since while it's true she's one of the busiest working models right now, she's also one of the nicest and most easygoing that we've ever met." [Fashionista]
• An enormous pair of Queen Victoria's bloomers, dating from the 1890s, just sold at auction for nine grand. Auctioneer Charles Hanson described the 50-inch knickers as belonging to '"a very big lady of quite small stature with a very wide girth." She was said to be 5 feet (1.52 meters) tall.' [AP]
• That woven dress that so wowed Natalie Portman on the second episode of Project Runway? Already sold out on Bluefly. Suede, obviously, released a statement. “I was so excited about this challenge and really wanted to win. Selling my dress on Bluefly is the opportunity of a lifetime. I knew I had to pull out all of the stops to impress this client and especially celebrity judge Natalie Portman, and Suede, "ROCKED IT!" And, now to see the customers responding to my "winning look" like this what a thrill. It is a million times better than immunity! Suede LOVES that!!!" [NY Mag]
• Polo takes Rugby online. [WWD]
• The new crop of Gap ads — featuring the daughter of French Vogue editirice Carine Roitfeld, sont arives! [Fashionista]
• David "Mulder" Duchovny is, for some reason, part of sportswear company Johnston and Murphy's push to be more relevant. "The ads show Duchovny, with a pensive look on his face, wearing Johnston & Murphy sportswear and shoes and, in some creative, accompanied by accessories such as a briefcase and other leather goods. Text reads: "Johnston, Murphy & Duchovny."" [BrandWeek]
• Defying the market, Avon profits jump. [New York Times]
• Bloomingdales to open SpaceNK boutiques within stores. [WWD]
• DKNY collabs with Chandon on sparkling wine. [VogueUK]
• Kinda thought it was still summer, but fashion says No! How to wear 'transitional' clothes. [ElleUK]

• Jude Law-ex Sadie Frost's company, Frost-French, has been accused of firing a sales associate based on her race. The highly-experienced Aba Yankah was hired over the phone, but when she showed up for work, she claims the store's manager was cold, subjected her to demeaning tasks and then summarily fired her without justification. While a tribunal has found that Yankah did not prove outright racism, they have judged that the company's explanation to be inadequate and compensated the plaintiff for damages and lost income to the tune of £5,000 ($9,800). [Daily Mail]
• Vogue Italia pictures are up!! [NB: NSFW][Fashionista]
• "An aging British model" was busted for shaving eight years off her age to get work. Apparently changing your birth certificate qualifies as tampering with official documents. [UPI]
• Kanye West steals thunder by sporting his own line in the front row of fashion week. Apparently the Milan fixture "was kicking it in the front row at Louis Vuitton, kitted out in a teal T-shirt, khakis and a denim jacket accessorized with a Michael Jackson button and a chunky red Lego heart. What appeared to be a silk LV scarf billowed from his back pocket." [Los Angeles Times]
• By the by...Project Runway is casting. [SeenOn]

• Armani gets the French Legion of Honor. [VogueUK]
• Recessionistas take note! Flailing economy's silver lining? "Aggressive sales." [New York Times]
• The guns of august: lingerie trade show battles. [WWD]
• Recessionistas, mourn: Steve & Barry's collapse will likely imperil SJP's "Bitten" line. [AdAge]
• Viktor and Rolf to do "haute" eyelash line for Shu Uemura. "The three lash designs are Wing, which we think looks like paperclips! (pictured), Rhombus, which are gold, inspired by the diamond pattern on jesters outfits and Swirl, a set of super long lashes, which are the most simple of the three."[ElleUK]
• New "good health certificates" are totally freaking out models, says one agency rep. She claims that the initiative, designed to prevent dangerous thinness in the industry, are just an added stress during London fashion week. "I think they (the certificates) are crazy — not a good idea," Doukas said. "It will make some of the girls even more paranoid and freaked out about the weight thing, and they won't come to the U.K. market, they simply won't come to London Fashion Week." [UPI]
• Pop Magazine editor Katie Grand is, apparently, "an icon of cool." Best part of the interview? "When I met Grand she'd just been to New York for a POP shoot with the art photographer Ryan McGinley and model Agyness Deyn. She'd never worked with McGinley but he said he'd like to photograph Agyness, whom of course Grand knew, and Grand suggested they should do some nudes, because Agyness had never done a nude shoot, and McGinley agreed. 'And then a week later he sent me this reference photograph of kids falling off a fire escape - it was from the 1950s I think - and said he'd really like to have her falling. And naked. So we ended up with two stunt men and Agyness jumping naked from five stories onto a huge huge crash mat. It was incredible." [Guardian]
• Stealing hats from beggars? All in a day's work for a fashion photographer. [Telegraph]
• Mario Testino's diaries are somewhat less exciting. [Independent]
• "In one shot, the woman - dressed in clinging black dress and spike-heeled Manolos - lies seductively across the man's lap. Elsewhere, she is captured in executive-style sharp tailoring in an office overlooking St Paul's, while he is pictured straddling an MV Agusta F4 - the "Ferrari of motorcycles" - in a chic trench." The new Aquascutum campaign. [Telegraph]
• Record metal prices challenge jewelers. [WWD]
• I've always hated purple; feels either new-agey creative or Lisa Frank. Must be because I fear "the ultimate fashion challenge." [Independent]
• That $60 V-neck you got at Uniqlo? Probably at the expense of some Mongolian farmer being undercut by cheap Chinese cashmere. [Reuters]
• Theory's new accessory line inspired by Hair My brother would so do the "loser" cough right now. [Los Angeles Times]
• For fall, everyone and their mother "passionate about legwear." [WWD]
• I guess we were about due for another go-round: cherries are a trend again! [VogueUK]

[London, April 23. Image via INFdaily.com.]

• Halle Berry gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday morning in L.A. An insider says Halle first arrived at the hospital early Saturday with contractions and "skyrocketing" blood pressure, but stabilized, went home and came back later Saturday night. The baby was born at 10:17 am yesterday. Congrats! [Star Magazine]
  
• Baby and mama are "doing great!" [US Magazine]
  
• George Clooney is going to be Nicole Kidman's baby's godfather. Damn. Raise your hand if you're jealous of an unborn kid. [Mirror]
  
• Nicole Richie hates her post-pregnancy boobs. "I am bustier now and I really don't like it. It doesn't really fit with my wardrobe, it's not who I am. I am not someone who is used to wearing a bra or having to wear a bra, I really don't like it. I like wearing vintage hippy see-through shirts that aren't slutty on me because there is nothing to look at." [The Sun]
  
• Mel Gibson and Britney Spears: New BFFs. WTF. [TMZ]

• Oh, a source says Mel and Brit had dinner together to talk about sobriety. Sure. [E!]
• Sam Lutfi's restraining order regarding Britney has been extended for another 30 days, thank Zeus. [TMZ]
• Is Britney's father opening a restaurant with Kevin Federline??? [Mirror]
• Brit's kids came to visit; she let her dad push the stroller. [The Sun]
• The hospital where Britney stayed for psychiatric evaluation has suspended some employees and may fire others for looking at Brit's medical records. [Reuters]
• Lindsay Lohan admits that her pre-rehab lifestyle was effed up: "I was putting myself in the wrong situations and I didn't have the focus in the right place." [People]
• Lindsay recently had a meeting with rapper Fat Joe. Reeemiiiix! [E!]
• Paris Hilton is going on tour with Benji Madden and his band, Good Charlotte, in South Africa, yawn. [People]
• A Hasidic Jew dropped out of the role of Natalie Portman's husband in her new movie because of pressure from his community. Oy. [UPI]
• Keith Richards likes Amy Winehouse's music but says,"That girl isn't going to be around long unless she sorts herself out pretty quick. Amy's got to get smart." [Daily Mail]
• Sarah Jessica Parker on the Sex And The City movie: "A handful of people have seen it and have been very surprised by the seriousness. There's something that happens in this movie and it's really about realizing your own complicity and disappointment. You know the necessity of friends, but at a certain point, as a grown-up person, you have to take care of yourself." [LA Times]
• Did "oil heir" Brandon Davis steal a $100,000 watch from producer Scott Storch? [Page Six]
• Eminem is working on the return of Slim Shady: He's back in the studio and working out with a trainer. [Page Six]
• Dear Page Six, Lisa D'Amato did not win Cycle Five of ANTM; she did pee herself on a photo shoot, though. [Page Six]
• Blind items! "Which married foreign head of state makes Bill Clinton look like a Boy Scout? When women are granted audiences with the man, they find him at his desk with his fly open or, sometimes, with his pants already down... Which "socialite" dropped from a size 14 to a size 0 with the help of a new dangerous habit? She and some of her friends are dabbling in the appetite suppressant heroin." [Page Six]
• Blind item: "Which new mama likes to sneak vodka into her water glass even though she's still breastfeeding?" [ONTD]
• Diane Sawyer did a special on prostitution which never aired; thanks to Spitzer & Dupre, it'll be on ABC this Friday. Dreams really do come true. [Rush & Molloy]
• Actor Daniel Radcliffe smokes like 20 cigarettes a day. Harry Potter & The Phlegmy Cough. [ONTD]
• Start hitting your high notes: Mariah Carey will be a guest judge on American Idol this week. [ONTD]
• CSI: Miami's David Caruso: A dick on the set. [Page Six]
• Kate Moss has been banned from joining boyfriend Jamie Hince on stage when his band, The Kills, tours. She'll have to be happy with "groupie" status. [Mirror]
• Is Madonna's marriage "hanging by a thread"? How many times have you heard that before? [The Sun]
• But apparently Madonna and Guy Ritchie will announce a split in 18 months. Mark your calendar! [ONTD]
• Madonna's new song will be released via a SunSilk shampoo commercial. Rinse and repeat. [The.Life Files]
• Dawn Wells, aka Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, was supposed to speak to the Girl Scouts of America; they canceled after she was charged with marijuana possession. But she could warm the girls of the dangers of DUI! [UPI]
• Sadie Frost has split with Towers of London bassist Kristian Marr. Did you know they were dating? [Sunday Mirror]
• Paul McCartney may learn how much cash he has to give Heather Mills in their divorce settlement today, but will we? These things are private, as dictated by British law. But the judge can release some or all details after the couple has heard the decision. [CNN]
• Yee-haw! Carrie Underwood is joining the Grand Ole Opry. [Yahoo News]
• The drummer from ABBA was found dead in Spain. [Yahoo News]
• Is the Church of Scientology planning to use Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith to lure black people into its clutches? [MSNBC]
• Minnie Driver doesn't know what to name her baby. "Driver is kind of a hard name to put with a first name, particularly boys' names. My friend sent me an email saying I should call the baby Duncan Driver. Then I can call it Dunk Driver, Pile Driver, Rally Driver." [The Sun]
• Michael Stipe: Totes le gay. [Rush & Molloy]

• Now the face of Versace menswear, Patrick Dempsey has started referring to Donatella Versace as his "Italian mother." [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Model Erin O'Connor musing on the end of another fashion season: "...yes I'm howling, oh how woeful I was when the mini cab rocked up early Sunday morning to collect the regal attire, literally stripped from my back to be sent back to each designer. Kind enough to donate for the week I hear you mutter? Jees, and Cinderella thought she had it bad? Hark, where for art thou my four-door Sports Series Maseratti? Not even a pumpkin post-shows for this lowly creature, just her own two spindly legs to get her from A to B..." [Vogue UK]
  
• The Herve Leger dress that Victoria Beckham wore to the Marc Jacobs show last season is now on sale at Intermix. Er, maybe not? So many people tried to buy it online that the Intermix website crashed. [Fashionista]

• Why was this not a challenge on Project Runway this season? Clothing made from plastic bags is the new recycling. [Guardian UK]
• Alessandra Facchinetti debut collection for the Valentino label: Hitting the runway on Thursday! [FT]
• Fashion folk: Mainly computer illiterate. [IHT]
• Jeffrey Kalinsky of luxe boutique Jeffrey, is giving Nordstrom a "makeover." Jeffrey, if you have never had the distinct pleasure of being abused there, is known for its infamously bitchy salespeople. [WSJ]
• Yves Saint Laurent's Stefano Pilati wants shoppers to feel like they've been taking opium when visiting the new YSL store in Paris. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Oscar de la Renta has just inked two licensing deal for handbags and small leather goods, finding more and more ways to put a little O in your life. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Escada's got a new CEO and he's ready to whore out the company by focusing on money-making world of accessories. Didn't we just read like fifty-thousand stories on the death of the It Bag? [WWD, sub req'd]
• I will mock my boyfriend ruthlessly if he ever wears a robe like this. [Chic Report]
• Recession? What recession? Women's apparel prices areon the rise. [IHT]

• Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend, model Camilla Alves, is pregnant. These are the eloquent words the actor and surfer dude wrote: "My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. Its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far. We are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation." There's more, but you get the point. Also: The kid's gonna be gorgeous. [Us Magazine]
  
• RIP Brad Renfro, star of flicks like The Client and Apt Pupil. The 25-year-old was found dead in his home yesterday. [TMZ, NY Times]
  
• Britney Spears was completely naked in a Betsey Johnson store over the weekend, says an employee at the boutique. "Then she disappeared in the dressing room with Adnan for 45 minutes. They were making weird noises. It was disgusting." Uh, maybe he was helping her try on clothes? [Page Six]

• Paris Hilton's ex, Stavros Niarchos, is pursuing Victoria's Secret model Izabel Goulart. I dunno why we need to know this. [Page Six]
• Melissa Rivers: Grabby at a gift suite. So annoying how celebs get so much free stuff. Wait, is she a celeb? [Page Six]
• Sean Penn, who wrote for the San Francisco Chronicle in the past, drafted a letter calling the publication an "increasingly lamebrain paper." The Chronicle printed his letter, hee hee! [Editor & Publisher]
• Uh oh, Amy Winehouse is having visa issues. She may not be able to go to the Grammys! Then again, the Grammys could be canceled because of the writers' strike. [Gatecrasher]
• Dr. Phil is looking for celebs to appear on his 1,000th episode; after the Britney debacle, stars are not so interested. Could the doc use some therapy? [Gatecrasher]
• And Britney's suicide note, which was mentioned in last week's midweek madness, is about her loneliness, how unfair life is and how she can't trust anyone, sigh. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which doe-eyed young TV star is attracting attention for his indiscreet way with cocaine? 'He will do it absolutely anywhere,' says a source. 'Don't tell anybody!'" [Gatecrasher]
• Was Gwyneth Paltrow in the hospital because of a troubled pregnancy? [Rush & Molloy]
• Theives broke into Sadie Frost's London home — while she was there. The burglars took a cash and laptop. And this isn't the first time her house has been robbed: It happened in 2006 as well. Someone call security! [Daily Mail]
• Says someone who works for Zoey 101, Jamie Lynn Spears' show: "Everyone on the set is shocked by Jamie Lynn's pregnancy. "They don't know who did it... It could be anyone on the show!" [Rush & Molloy]
• David Spade: Maybe knocked up a Playboy Playmate. What is with that guy getting hot chicks? [TMZ]
• Linsday Lohan tried to avoid the paparazzi by wearing a brunette wig on her way to traffic school. Didn't work. [TMZ]
• John Mayer is defending Jessica Simpson on his blog, asking people who claim she jinxed Dallas Cowboys star Tony Romo to back off. "That girl loves Texas more than you know," he wrote. "It's one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don't try and take that away from her." It's a decent thing for an ex to do; making it hard to hate on this guy, ugh. [People]
• Eva Longoria is also defending Jessica Simpson. She relates, because her husband is a sports star, you see? Groan. [LA Times]
• OMG Zac Efron hospitalized! Teen hearts aflutter! The 20-year-old High School Musical star had his appendix taken out yesterday and will be fine. He should be shirtless on the cover of a magazine again real soon. [People]
• Gwen Stefani moving to London? A source says she'll stay there fro a while so her hubby can launch his solo career. [Mirror]
• Avril Lavigne had been accused of plagiarism regarding her hit "Girlfriend" but as been exonerated, phew. Apparently the lyrics and theme (Hey, you, I don't like your girlfriend) are like, common or something? [People]
• The FCC was asked if ABC or Diane Keaton would face consequences for her F-Bomb on Good Morning America. Chairman Kevin Martin: "I don't know." [Reuters]
• Childhood photos of Katie Holmes reveal that Suri looks just like her, shocker. In any case, no one doubts who Suri's mother is — just her father, right? [Daily Mail]
• Robert Blake is appealing his wrongful death verdict in which he was ordered to pay the survivors of Bonny Lee Bakeley $30 million. Blake and his lawyer are saying that the jurors were "incompetent," and "guilty of misconduct." Please just let it end! [AP]

• Uh-oh... Tracie Rice, the woman who was in the car Lindsay Lohan chased at high speed right before her DUI arrest last July, claims she has spent upwards of $3,500 on therapy since the incident (and lost her job). Guess who she wants to pay for the shrink? Papers have been filed! [TMZ]
  
• Lindsay is also being sued by the busboy who was injured when her car smashed into his vehicle in 2005. Raymundo Ortega is also naming The Ivy restaurant in his suit; he claims the hotspot supplied LL with booze before the accident. Linz had better quit shopping and start working. [TMZ]
  
• The cancellation of the Golden Globes means no movie studio parties, no magazine parties, no hotel room reservations, no limos, etc. The Los Angeles economy will reportedly take a $100 million hit. [Page Six]
  
• The LAPD issued a restraining order to Britney Spears last Thursday night during her custody standoff. The emergency protective order is enforced for five business days and dictates that the person it's placed on stays 100 feet from the other person or face arrest. Sick of this story yet? [People]

• Rapper Eminem was rushed to the hospital over the holidays for pneumonia and a heart condition. Sources say his weight has "ballooned" to 212 lbs. Thick Shady? [TMZ]
• Preggo teen Jamie Lynn Spears: Loves the soundtrack to Juno. No, really. [Page Six]
• Zoey 101, Jamie Lynn's Nickelodeon show, is experiencing its highest ratings ever. Nothing says "hot teen entertainment" like a knocked-up star. [E!]
• And hey, Jamie Lynn is attending parenting classes with her mom, so that could be good. [MSNBC]
• Dita Von Teese is suing an L.A.-based dominatrix who allegedly stole the proceeds to a film Ms. Von Teese made in 2001. Not sure how you get a dominatrix to back down... maybe Dita needs a "safe word"? [Page Six]
• Blind-esque item! "Which former presidential daughter is on the 'Anna Wintour facial refreshment plan'? Before she went on a book tour last year, she paid a visit to her dermatologist to get Botox, restalyne and collagen injections so she could face the public looking like her old self." [Page Six]
• Will Smith: Loving Scientology! He gave the crew of a film gifts when the movie wrapped: cards good for a personality test at any local Scientology center. Which, incidentally, you can get free. From the Church of Scientology. [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Getting drinks even after the bar was closed at the Critics Choice Awards. Sucks not to be them. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which distinctively named member of a chart-topping pop group swings both ways? He surprised his male talent escort at a recent Hollywood red-carpet event with an invitation back to his hotel room." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not going to tell her to go to rehab. She's not an idiot, she knows what her problem is." — Kelly Osbourne on Amy Winehouse. [Mirror]
• Right before the new season of American Idol begins: Paula Abdul had a "nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes" at the Continental Airlines terminal at LAX, says a source. "One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the nest she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled Poltergeist voice." [MSNBC]
• An anchor on the Golf Channel (?) said that other golfers should "lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley." Absolutely unconscionable. [Perez Hilton]
• Sopranos star James Gandolfini has asked his girlfriend, former model Deborah Lin, to marry him. She said yes. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez says there was "massive pressure" from her family to get knocked up. "When Marc and I first got married, my mother rang me every day asking if there was any news," she spills. "I come from a Latino family where it's all about children." Surely her mother will be doubly psyched when J. Lo gives birth to twins? [People]
• A carbon footprint organization has rated green rock bands and Pete Doherty is greener than Sting. And not green as in he smokes green. [Mirror]
• Jude Law's ex-wife Sadie Frost, 42, has been shagging men in their 20s. "It's not a conscious thing but dating a younger man seems to work," she says. "They're not so intimidated by the fact that I've got a family." (Sadie's got four kids!) [Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil is "falling apart" in prison. He's had to receive medical attention for self-inflicted injuries; he's been slashing his arms and breaking down in tears. [TransWorldNews]
• Jessica Alba on teen heartthrob Zac Efron: "He looks like a child with a lot of makeup. I was like, My God, you're just a little kid." [News.com.au]
• Fergie is a sex freak. Yeah, didn't need to know, but there it is. [The Sun]

• Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend could face statutory rape charges since he is 19 and JL is 16. According to reports, if the baby was conceived in Louisiana, the act could technically be considered "felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile." What a mess. [Daily Mail]
  
• But sources say that Jamie Lynn's parents "adore" her boyfriend and babydaddy Casey Aldridge. What else are they gonna say? [People]
  
• Breaking news: Have Jamie and Casey already broken up? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Jamie Lynn on being a good mom: "I love babies, and I have my nephews that I love. I have a great mom and she has raised three kids, so if I take lessons from her, I think I'll be great." Oh, dear. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Britney went Christmas shopping at Lisa Kline in L.A. Tuesday and a store rep says "She looks the best I've seen her in a really long time. She was really, really nice, saying, 'Thanks, babe,' 'Yeah, babe.' Everything was 'babe.'" Uh, maybe because her sister is with "babe"? [People]

• The inquest into Princess Diana's death continues, and now a handwritten letter has been released: In it, Diana writes, "This particular phase in my life is the most dangerous — my husband is planning 'an accident' in my car, brake failure and serious head injury in order to make the path clear for him to marry (the nanny) Tiggy. Camilla is nothing but a decoy." Holycrap. [Telegraph]
• Katie Holmes says the two children Tom Cruise adopted with ex-wife Nicole Kidman call her "Mom." Sweet! [People]
• But, oh, snap: Kidman says, "My kids don't call me mommy, they don't even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it." [Perez Hilton]
• Pete Doherty is in negotiations with a British TV network to tell all about his romance with Kate Moss — including sharing home videos the two made together — and Kate is pissed. She doesn't want her private moments with her ex aired on TV and "Some of it is really raunchy stuff Kate believed would never be seen by anyone else," says a source. We've all seen her topless and doing coke, so what's left? [Page Six]
• Is Christina Aguilera having a C-section because she is "too posh to push"? [Daily Mail]
• Want Sharon Stone to host your event? It'll cost you a hefty $175,000 for 30 minutes. And she may or may not wear a catsuit. [Page Six]
• Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens says team jinx Jessica Simpson "is not a fan favorite — in this locker room or in Texas Stadium." [Page Six]
• Later, he clarified: "Man, I was joking. Everyone was laughing, right?" [Breitbart]
• Shocker! One of the beefy, waxed, chiseled new American Gladiators might be gay! And he maybe did porny movies, woohoo. [Gatecrasher]
• Liam Neeson biked to a green event. Kudos! [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which documentary maker had to turn a blind eye to all the call girls that her subject, a famous sports star, was patronizing? 'The hookers got better access than I did,' she joked Tuesday at a dinner for the Gucci Tribeca Documentary Fund, a new initiative of the Tribeca Film Festival." [Gatecrasher]
• Eva Longoria's husband, Tony Parker, is suing photo agency x17 for publishing reports and text messages alleging that he cheated on Eva with French model Alexandra Paressant. The papers state, "Tony Parker has never had sexual relations with a woman named Alexandra Paressant." Well OK then! [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's Swedish pizza boy, Alex Vaggo, has been dropped by his modeling agency for "lack of communication." How do you say "flaky" in Swedish? [TMZ]
• The People's Choice awards are being revamped: No red carpet, prerecorded acceptance speeches, and a taped, not live, show. The writers' strike is to blame, but the adjustments sound like improvements. [USA Today]
• Ashlee Simpson's new video debuted Wednesday, but everyone was too busy paying attention to Jamie Lynn to notice and Ash is pissed. [MSNBC]
• Heather Mills faces being sued by her own divorce lawyers — she has over £2 million in unpaid bills. Maybe she could do another reality show? [Daily Mail]
• Jude Law and ex-wife Sadie Frost are going to spend Christmas in Cuba learning how to salsa dance. Sexy! Does this mean a reconciliation? [Daily Express]

• Designer Roberto Cavalli has never been known for subtlety. On working with celebrity clientele: "Well Jennifer Lopez, at this moment, she requests something very special because she is waiting for the baby. It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger." Ha ha, and Lopez still hasn't confirmed her pregnancy. [People.com]
  
• Liz Claiborne's profits fell 63% last quarter as the company enters semi-meltdown mode. You might recall that Tim Gunn was recently tapped as the company's "Chief Creative Officer," which is one of those titles that probably means crap all but is it really realistic to expect us not to drop a "make it work" joke here? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Okay, so there are these rumors that Gisele is supposed to oust Kate Moss as the face of Versace, and then there are these other rumors that Kate is supposed to become the face of Yves Saint Laurent, where Gisele is currently model-of-choice, and it all kind of makes sense in that way that it did when "Bennifer" broke up to create two much more predictable couplings, and Kate Moss looks kind of awkward and wrong in those Versace ads anyway, but it's still kinda disappointing. [Vogue UK]

• Is Diane von Furstenberg itching to finally tie the knot with long-time beau Barry Diller? If we're reading this blind item right, maybe.. [NYDaily News]
• Aw, we just love when internships at Harper's Bazaar are up for grabs at a charity silent auction! You know, for the children. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Jude Law's ex Sadie Frost's clothing line FrostFrench has taken London by storm and the label's flagship store is a great success and now they're opening more stores! Meanwhile, Jude Law seems to be balding. Just saying. [Vogue UK]

• In his latest adventure as Liz Clairborne Chief Creative Officer/media love object, Tim Gunn is going on a 6-city tour sponsored by Glamour to showcase Claiborne's new denim line and help women try on jeans and find the "perfect" ones. (Denim: novel, right?) We've always believed all this talk about "perfect" denim is a lie but we'd give that all up just to have Tim Gunn pat our ass. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Marc Jacobs's show for Louis Vuitton — which he also designs; it's so hard to find talent these days! — is Sunday evening and the waiting masses have learned that there is some sort of trashy romance novel theme to the show. We smell literary product placement! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• David Lynch has tips for wearing those Louboutins he shot so tortuously for an upcoming advertising campaign? Meditation. Because, like, if you just sit Indian style and rub your temples all day you won't notice the pain in your feet. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• The latest round of Gap's Product (Red) campaign will include images featuring Anne Hathaway. Because nothing screams "impoverished African children" like Anne Hathaway! [MediaPost]

• Deciding it isn't enough to be irrelevant once a month in a disposable medium, Harper's Bazaar has decided to publish a book of style rules. Precisely zero people are waiting in earnest! [WWD, last item]
• Name-checking them in her breakout single "Lip Gloss" paid off! Lil' Mama is doing in-store performances for L'Oreal. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Who are the London fashion thieves? Following break-ins at the Luella, Marc Jacobs, Roger Vivier stores and Christopher Kane's studio, the brand spankin' new FrostFrench flagship store (helmed by Jude Law's ex, Sadie Frost) was also burglarized last night. Hey wait a second, isn't Jude Law in that new jewel thief movie Sleuth? Hmmm.... [Vogue UK]
• We still get kinda sad when legends sell out: Lacroix for Evian. Sigh. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Karl Lagerfeld quote of the day: "All my contracts are for life, so I am like a death row inmate." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Gisele: Likes animals! [Sassybella]

• Will someone please explain to us what Tom Ford has against women? In addition to the image at left, the new ads for his Tom Ford for Men fragrance feature a fully-naked woman with an oversized bottle of the fragrance "wedged" between her thighs. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Speaking of fragrance, the latest Estee Lauder fragrance being shilled by Gwyneth Paltrow smells like marshmallows. If anything makes us gag more than Gwyneth, it's the idea of smelling like S'mores. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• More proof that the fashion industry sorta sucks: Ann Taylor's chief marketing officer has thrown in the towel. [WSJ]

• The first-lady-to-be of Turkey is modernizing the Muslim symbol of female modesty, the head scarf, with inspiration from Italian sexpot Sophia Loren. [Guardian UK]
• Sadie Frost, the ex-Mrs. Jude Law, says her clothing line FrenchFrost's latest collection is inspired by imperfection. Because she no longer finds beautiful men perfect. Uh, bitter much? [Vogue UK]
• Big trend alert: Wearing vintage! [ABC News]
• Who will wear Balenciaga's Fall/Winter shoe designs? Uh, rich bitches and wannabes. [Sassybella]
• Japanese model Sayako Yamaguchi died yesterday at the age of 57. [Breitbart]

• Kate Moss is out as the face (and body) of lingerie line Agent Provocateur. Why, you ask? Because the company's co-owner Serena Rees had an affair with Moss's friend's husband. [Vogue UK]
  
• Poor Sadie Frost. The ex-Mrs. Jude Law's clothing line FrostFrench (co-designed with friend Jemima French) isn't doing so well financially, and yet the ladies are going ahead and opening their first stand-alone store in London in September. [Vogue UK]
  
• Famed fashion photographer Stephen Meisel shot a spread for August's Italian Vogue in which he had models re-create the most, er, infamous of celebrity gaffes documented by the paparazzi. And yes, he went there. By which we mean... the Britney vadge shot. [WWD, 1st item]

• Model Jodie Kidd beccomes the latest lemming on the low-is-the-new-high trend with her nine-piece collection of "designs" for England's largest home shopping venture. [Vogue UK]
• Lilly Pulitzer is doing a line of eyewear. [WWD]
• Despite the recent uptick in the attempts to blow the place up, retail sales figures for the past few days have remained strong in the UK. [WWD]
• Belgium's newly christened fashion capital Antwerp is building a 10,000-square foot Yohji Yamamoto boutique inside its prestigious MuMo museum. Because commerce is the new culture! [WWD, last item]

The White Nose Gang! We held our breath. Discover the SHOCKING NEWS of WHICH CELEBRITIES are TAKING DRUGS, or at least failing to blow their noses properly, after the jump.

We know you're rubbing your hands with anticipated, but ever so slightly shameful glee, so let's get right to it and UNMASK the evil A listers:

1. KATE MOSS!
2. PETE DOHERTY!
3. SIENNA MILLER!
4. SADIE FROST!
5. AMY WINEHOUSE! (Did we say 'A' listers?)
6. SOME GIRL WHO USED TO BE IN A BAND, WHO LOOKS LIKE A PIG AND WHO'S NOTORIOUS FOR TAKING SO MUCH COKE FOR SO MANY YEARS THAT THERE HAVE BEEN NUMEROUS PICS OF HER NOSE DISINTEGRATING!

Well, there's $4.60 and one minute of our life we can never get back. Don't say we don't do anything for you.