• Shia LaBeouf: Arrested on suspicion of drunk driving Sunday. He was trying to make a left turn at a West Hollywood intersection at 3 am when his pickup truck smashed into another vehicle and rolled over. Shia was taken to Cedars-Sinai for injuries to his left hand and a knee, as well as a minor head injury. Don't drink and drive, people. [AP]
• Shia was booked at the hospital. He's recovering from "extensive hand surgery" and will return to the set of Transformers 2 in about a month. [Yahoo News]
• This picture of Shia's truck shows a "mangled mess." [TMZ]
• Mary-Kate Olsen has confirmed that she was Heath Ledger's "secret lover" when he died in January. If you believe Grazia magazine. She says: "I'm just completely shattered about Heath. I loved him so much. We had this amazing connection and now he's gone. I just can't get over him." Plus! She's convinced that Heath's family, friends and fans hate her... She may be right. [ONTD]

• "In all this glorious (and quite deserved) rediscussion of Heath Ledger’s passing now that The Dark Knight is out, no one seems to be mentioning what the ef killed the Aussie star, i.e., drugs… Way too many of them. I mean, when Di got smashed up a decade ago in Paris, the world was out to kill the press corps, blaming our kind for destroying the princess, when in fact, it was a drunken driver who killed the poor gal. And now, nothing at all’s being blamed. It’s just being labeled “tragic” and “too soon” that Heath passed. Look, idiots, it’s called drugging yourself to death. Wake up. I exclaim this entirely respectfully, too, mind you—no one misses his über talents more than I. Superdamn shame." — Ted Casablanca. [E!]
• Was Lindsay Lohan hit by a motorcycle in New York Friday night? Did she go to the hospital? Her dad says: "She's not hurt." [UPI]
• Some reports claim that Lindsay Lohan was "flattened" by a motorcycle late Friday night. Her spokesperson says "Nothing happened." [Yahoo News]
• Bono will be the godfather of the Jolie-Pitt twins! [ONTD]
• Angelina and Brad plan on having more biological kids. A source says, "A dozen kids would be their dream." And my nightmare! [MSNBC]
• Halle Berry is pissed at the paparazzi. A photographer trespassed on private property to get a shot of Halle and her infant daughter Nahla. Halle says: "I have long since come to terms with the fact that choosing a career as an actress has made me a public figure, but my baby has made no such choice, and unless and until she does, I will do everything I can…to keep her out of the public eye." She wants everyone to know that the pix were taken illegally. (They were published by In Touch and Life & Style.) [AP]
• Lord Of The Rings star Sean Bean was arrested over the weekend over allegations he assaulted his fourth wife. Boromir would never do such a thing! [Perez Hilton]
• Guy Ritchie speaks! "My marriage is fine as far as I'm aware of," he says. Ha! Poor thing. [Yahoo News]
• But wait! Madonna and Guy plan to renew their vows, at a special Shabbat party in August. Shabbat Nachamu, M and Guy will make speeches in front of the rabbis, letting everyone know they still love each other. [The Sun]
• Madge will unveil her new documentary, I Am Because We Are, at a film festival in Traverse City, Michigan. [UPI]
• Dita Von Teese has a not-so-secret admirer: David Beckham. Dita is friends with David's wife Victoria but David thinks Dita is "very talented." And sent her a text recently. [Daily Mail]
• Jimmy Choo founder Tamara Mellon is moving in with her boyfriend Christian Slater. Good luck, kids! [Daily Mail]
• Ryan Seacrest, Heidi Klum, Tom Bergeron, Howie Mandel and Jeff Probst will host the Emmy Awards on September 21. Heidi could probably do a great job all by herself, no? [People]
• Christian Bale's former assistant, Harrison Cheung, sheds light on Bale's personality. He says: "From the moment [Christian] got the part in Empire Of The Sun, everything changed. Christian became the family’s main breadwinner.We would talk about his parents’ unhappy marriage and how his was the ultimate dysfunctional family. He found it hard to trust people because he’d been so hurt as a child. We would talk about his parents’ unhappy marriage and how his was the ultimate dysfunctional family. Christian [was] deeply insecure about who he could trust." [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse punched a wall yesterday and burst into tears. There's a picture of her bloody fist with a broken thumbnail. Her dad says, "She's fine." [The Sun]
• Blake Incarcerated is "begging" Amy to leave London before something terrible happens. Dude, problems follow you, dontchaknow? [Mirror]
• Rachael Ray has launched a charity-driven line of dog foods based on recipes she has created for her pit bull, Isaboo. Sorta cute, sorta nauseating. [AP]
• Rosie O'Donnell is potentially getting a show on NBC. It could be live, with skits and all kinds of acts from comedy to drama to music. Would you watch? [Fox News]
• Even though Britney and Kevin's child-custody settlement has been finalized, it could change down the line. This story explains: "As the boys grow older, and Spears and Federline's lives evolve, so too might their custody arrangements." Brit has improved. A lot. [AP]
• K-Fed gets $20,000 a month in child support. That's 10 grand per kid, though surely you could take care of 20 kids for that kind of dough. [Yahoo News]
• Will Eva Longoria — sorry, Eva Parker — open a new location of her L.A. restaurant, Beso, in Las Vegas? [E!]
• Keira Knightley has refused to let her publicity stills for The Duchess be Photoshopped. Apparently she's sick of studios giving her drawn-on boobs. [Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus made fun of teen queens Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato in a YouTube video, but she's sorta sorry. "We were, like, just having fun," she says. [MSNBC]
• Charlie Sheen wants to get full custody of his daughter after his ex-wife Denise Richards accused him of molesting them. Ugh, when will this crap be over? [The Sun]
• Sam Ronson is pissed that Page Six claimed she won't play Ali Lohan's single when she DJs. Sam says "Where do they come up with this shit? I wouldn't be responding to this one — but I'm afraid that people might actually believe that and that's not fair to Ali. She's 14 years old — high school is bad enough — do tabloids really need to torture teenagers as well?" [Perez Hilton]
• Susie Feldman, wife of Corey, is in Playboy. The mag asks the oh-so important question: Have you ever had a threesome with the two Coreys? Susie sez: "No — absolutely not. Would never even consider it. I'm sure there are girls out there who might've had that fantasy at one point in their life. I don't find Corey Haim attractive; he's not really my type." [Playboy]
• People don't make money off of YouTube, but Avril Lavigne's manager thinks the site owes her about $2 million. Which she would not get anytime soon. [Silicon Alley Insider]
• A clip of Paris Hilton, acting and singing in that movie musical Repo! The Genetic Opera. If you care. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris tells People: "I think my whole life I was kind of living as a teenager and not really taking responsibility." You don't say! "Now I realize that I'm an adult and I'm running a huge company and I'm in love. I'm in a great relationship. I have my family. I'm just excited for life." [People]
• Sienna Miller loves a house in London — too bad it's five doors down from Jude Law's place. Not worth it! [Mirror]
• This report says that Sienna has "fled" to New York to escape the Balthazar backlash. Her dad lives here. [Daily Mail]
• Balthazar Getty: Begging wife's forgiveness after being pictured frolicking on a yacht with topless Sienna Miller? Word is he wants a second chance with the wife. [Mirror]
• Balthazar's been sending wife Rosetta e-mails that read, "I love you." [TMZ]
• George Clooney's ex Sarah Larson says "I'm staying single." Yawn. [People]
• None of the living Golden Girls went to Estelle Getty's funeral. They each had really good excuses, though. Except Betty White. [Perez Hilton]
• In this cast photo from the Broadway play All My Sons, Katie Holmes looks just like Katie Holmes. [ONTD]
• Priscilla Presley's 21 year old son — half-brother of Lisa Marie — is a "hippie" and a "pot dealer" who lives in a run down house in California growing marijuana under lights in the basement. Possibly because he's escaping Scientology, in which case, it makes sense. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Apparently when there was a fatwa out on Salman Rushdie, he expected the cops protecting him to pay for their rooms in the safe house. WTF. [Times Of India]
• OMG Andrew Ridgeley might join George Michael on stage at the end of GM's tour next month. Wham! fan here. I am never going to dance again. Guilty feet have got no rhythm. [The Sun]
• Do you want Johnny Depp's sausage in your mouth? [BoingBoing]
• Connie Francis is in the hospital with dangerously high blood pressure. Be well! [UPI]
• What the world needs now: A Jackson 5 museum. [Mirror]

The Good:
Lindsay is shimmery and tight and hot to trot. Black jeans might have been better but honestly, I have no problems with this.

Miranda Cosgrove was in School Of Rock and has her own show on Nickelodeon and looks like a regular 14-year-old girl. Bonus points for choosing boots over heels!

Rapper Pitbull is suave in a crisp white suit.

Some might find this ensemble boring but I think Khloe Kardashian looks sleek and comfortable. And covered-up.

Kendall and Kylie Jenner are 13 and 11 years old. At that age you can get away with stuff that would look stupid on grown-ups. I love how they're bright, fun and color-coordinated.

Shar Jackson, Kevin Federline's baby mama #1, looks pulled-together and cute.

The Bad:

Hey, Flo-Rida, we've seen this look before. You're a rapper but surely you can step it up? PS: Nice guns.

Kourtney Kardashian's shiny, stretchy pants hurt my feelings.

Ryan Seacrest: Meh.

I guess Kim Kardashian's dress sorta matches little sisters Kylie and Kendall but I just don't like it. If Jennifer were here she'd say it triggers her vertigo.

The Ugly:

I want to like Cisco Adler and Schwayze's matchy-matchy hipster chic, but they're just the spot-on definition of eyesore.

Perez Hilton's T-shirt does not lie.

[Images via Getty and FilmMagic]

• [Mariah Carey] is very happy. I've spoken with her and she is superb. She is over the moon. I received an email from her [Monday] and she is so happy. She really sounds like someone on her honeymoon." — Andre Leon Talley. Talley also says the wedding happened so quickly he "didn't have the time to offer her any style tips!" Underminer. [People]
  
• Britney Spears' progress impressed the court yesterday. She will now get three days of supervised visitation a week; within a month she should get overnight visits. Stay the course, girl! [TMZ]
  
• Lindsay Lohan has another job! She'll star in Labor Pains, a comedy about a young woman who pretends to be pregnant to avoid being fired. Yay for her; boo for another damn knocked up movie. Is that all women are good for? [Page Six]

• Liv Tyler didn't wear her wedding ring to the Costume Institute Gala. Add this to the sad stuff in the last Midweek Madness about getting married too young and hubby Royston Langdon being a leech on her assets, and you gotta wonder... [Rush & Molloy]
• Scarlett Johansson, however, did have a ring on her finger: The rock Ryan Reynolds gave her. [Rush & Molloy]
• Denise Richards knew her marriage to Charlie Sheen wasn't going to work when he accused Richards of poisoning their daughter with a vaccination. Yeah, I don't know. [Page Six]
• Nicky Hilton cut the buffet line at Diddy's party. "Everyone behind her rolled their eyes," says a source. [Rush & Molloy]
• Robin Williams has pledged to keep his divorce civil. Good for him! Boring for us. [People]
• Ryan Seacrest may be replacing Larry King??? Sources say he will take over Larry King Live at the end of the year. "He's the classic generalist," King says. "The only thing I don't know, and I've gotten to know him pretty well, is how versed he is in politics, world affairs. Does he read the paper? Is he interested in Iraq? Because if he is, he's going to be very good." Haha, Iraq. Raise your hand if you think Seacrest knows where it is. [MSNBC]
• Mary-Kate Olsen was submitted by Showtime as "Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series" for her role on Weeds. She could win an Emmy! [MSNBC]
• Pete Doherty left prison with a certificate proclaiming him drug-free. (He may have made the certificate himself.) He told reporters: "I made a few friends in there and the food was all right. I can't wait to have a rum and coke. I've missed the little things like girls and cats." [Mirror]
• Terri Irwin, widow of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, has settled a lawsuit with creditors who claimed the zoo owed them $2.3 million. [Yahoo News]
• If you thought the Gwyneth Paltrow Vogue cover was PhotoShopped, wait till you see the GQ bobblehead cover. [PsD]
• Ugly Betty is moving to New York! I've always hated the fake-ass "Manhattan" streets they use, which are so clearly a Hollywood lot. Now New Yorkers will have Wilhelmina, Marc and Amanda sightings! [LA Times]
• So, you know the rumor that Mr. Big dies in the Sex And The City movie? Director Michael Patrick King says: "Kill Mr. Big? I would have been chased around the planet by women with torches. It's a summer movie. Why would I want to kill anyone?" [CNN]
• The new Coldplay album will be a rainbow! "Each song is our attempt to do a different colour," says Chris Martin. "It doesn't matter whether the record is good or bad. It matters that it's colourful. The songs are supposed to be flavours, things we haven't tasted before." Um, good to know. [The Sun]
• Rosie O'Donnell responded to the interview Barbara Walters gave on Oprah, saying, "I love her." [People]
• Harry Potter author JK Rowling has won her battle to ban the publication of a long-lens photograph of her son in a privacy case. One of the judges explained: "If a child of parents who are not in the public eye could reasonably expect not to have photographs of him published in the media, so too should the child of a famous parent." [Reuters]

• Did Mariah Carey have an eye job or something? She won't walk down the red carpet without her sunglasses. If so, it's probably not her first procedure; her nose and boobs seem to have changed in the past few years. [Page Six]
  
• Also: Mariah's been wearing a giant ring that gossipers want you to think is engagement-esque. And she's been hanging with Nick Cannon. [People]
  
• David Bowie and Iman's 7-year-old daughter, Alexandria, listens to Hilary Duff songs, at which point "David just leaves the room," Iman says. "He thinks she should be listening to underground music." [ONTD]

• Amy Winehouse says she's not cheating on her hubby: "Me and Blake are meant for each other, he's my man." [Mirror]
• But, um, apparently Blake Incarcerated thinks she's divorcing him and wants £3 million. These tears dry on their own. [The Sun]
• But Amy denies having an affair. [Daily Mail]
• Ashley Alexandra Dupre is suing Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. Her statement claims that she was offered alcoholic drinks and "once intoxicated, she was induced into exposing her breasts while being filmed and told to sign a 'release' form." She was 17 at the time and not "legally competent" to enter a into a contract. She's seeking $10 million. [ET]
• Joe Francis says: "To show my appreciation, I'm sending Ashley a dozen cupcakes from Magnolia (Bakery)- assorted with sprinkles along with a card attached that says thanks for the free publicity." [Rush & Molloy]
• So yeah, Britney's back on How I Met Your Mother. Abby, the "sassy office assistant," will try and get revenge on her crush, Ted, since he's dating her boss. Yawn. [Yahoo News]
• Meanwhile, Brit's Child Custody Evaluation report, which is "several hundred" pages long, is both damaging and encouraging for Britney. [TMZ]
• Jamie Lee Curtis says of Miley's pix: "I only wish that her guardians had protected her." [People]
• Bill O'Reilly on Miley Cyrus's Vanity Fair pix: "If you have a billion dollar franchise, you don't throw it away." And what about the millions of Hannah Montana-loving kids? [Perez Hilton]
• Kathy Griffin and Apple billionaire Steve Wozniak: Dunzo. "As a matter of fact, I got an email last week from him, and he is going to marry someone else," Kathy says. "I think he might be married. I don't really know that for sure, though." [WOW]
• Tracy Ullman plays Dina Lohan on her show, State Of The Union, and says: "I think I need to get bigger, better teeth to play her... American teeth that will do her justice." [Page Six]
• Ludacris with lipstick on his collar sounds like a song. [E!
• Jason "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" Segel: Seen making out with soap star Adrienne Frantz. [Page Six]
• Kristin Bell still has her Catholic high school uniform. "I tucked that away when I was 18," she says. "I'm going to wear it on my wedding night." [Page Six]
• Pamela Anderson is now an American citizen. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars' Christian de la Fuente was rushed to the hospital after being injured while dancing with Cheryl Burke. He got hurt dancing. [TMZ]
• Rocker Scott Weiland has been sentenced to 192 hours in county jail for his November DUI arrest. Good luck! [TMZ]
• Shenae Grimes, who plays Darcy on Degrassi: The Next Generation, will be joining the cast of the 90210 spinoff. I'll admit I used to watch D:TNG. The storyline where Darcy posed half naked in her cheerleader uniform and sold the pictures to some guy over the internet was crazytown. [ET]
• Is Ryan Seacrest going to get kicked off of American Idol? [MSNBC]
• A documentary fronted by Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson — in which she plays "lifestyle coach" — might be dropped from the UK's ITV after one of the participants was arrested following the discovery of the body of an 18-year-old man in her apartment. [Variety]
• Victoria Beckham's boobs are gone. Isn't that old news? [The Sun]
• Mel Gibson will be in his first feature film since 2002. He'll play a police investigator. Wouldn't it be awesome if the cop were a Jew? [Yahoo News]
• The guy accused of stalking Uma Thurman might not have broken any laws. "He loved her and possibly still does. He never wanted to annoy her, threaten her or alarm her," says his lawyer. "Creepy? Yes. Obsessed? Yes. Criminal? No." Uma is testifying in court today. [Reuters]
• Cher had a fling with Tom Cruise at the start of his career. She's 16 years older than he is! And there's a joke in there about Cher being popular with The Gays but it's best left alone. [Daily Mail]
• Janet Jackson's boobs are in the news again. She wasn't wearing a bra at the GLAAD awards and it was pretty obvious. [Daily News]
• Four words: Jimi Hendrix sex tape. Let me stand next to your fire! [NY Times]

[Las Vegas, April 10. Images via Splash.]

• Beyoncé and Jay-Z have taken out a marriage license! In Westchester, NY! They have up to 60 days to tie the knot. Where do you think they're registered? And what do you get the couple who has everything? [NY Post]
  
• Post-rehab Eva Mendes is "taking a break and having a good time" by exercising and being with her family. Bo-ring. [People]
  
• Jane Fonda has a new boyfriend, Lynden Gillis, who met her when he asked for her autograph at a book signing. They "met cute!" [Page Six]
  
• Um, we saw pictures on X17 of Lisa Rinna kissing a man who was not her husband Harry Hamlin. She was clad in a bathrobe and drinking wine. The pix were taken yesterday in Malibu. More info to come!
  
• Heather Mills: Vowing to break up Paul McCartney's new romance? [Mirror]

• Drew Barrymore: Seen photographing Bunnies at the Playboy Mansion. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which lead actor in a hit ensemble TV show brags that a female conquest isn't complete unless at least one of his hotel room neighbors calls security about the noise? " [Gatecrasher]
• Jamie Lynn Spears is planning her wedding! It will take place at Serenity, the Kentwood, LA home Britney bought for the fam, and Brit will probs be a bridesmaid. Can't wait! [MSNBC]
• Dita Von Teese starred in a "kinky lesbian movie" years ago, but clips are just now showing up online. Someone send a link please? (For a friend.) [The Sun]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie sleep with electronic devices: "We lie right next to each other with our BlackBerrys under our pillows. It's not unromantic, it's practical." [The Sun]
• Madonna will be in Malawi next week for a final court ruling on whether she can adopt David Banda. There are an estimated 1 million orphans in the country, so her chances look good. [Reuters]
• Oh, and Madonna thinks of the UK as her home. "My kids are at school there, my horses are there. And I love the weather. All that rain and moisture are good for the skin." [Mirror]
• Sharon Osbourne says of daughter Kelly's friends: "I don't approve of them." Could she be talking about Ms. Amy Winehouse? [Mirror]
• Tracey Edmonds, who "got married" to Eddie Murphy on a tropical island in January only to break up with him 2 weeks later, is now dating TV chef Rocco DiSpirito. Good luck! [Concrete Loop]
• The Village Voice's Michael Musto continues to ask: Ellen Page a lesbian? [Village Voice]
• Velvet Revolver no longer has Scott Weiland as its lead singer. "his increasingly erratic onstage behavior and personal problems have forced us to move on." But he's so so hot! [Rolling Stone]
• Celine Dion's Beijing show is canceled because organizers didn't get the proper permits. China, what's up with you lately? [Reuters]
• That Valkyrie movie, in which Tom Cruise plays a Nazi with an American accent, might just be sucktastic. Is Tom getting desperate for a career comeback? [LA Times]
• Jimmy Kimmel says after he shot the video for "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck," "I brought Ben back to my house to watch Lost, and I ended up spooning with him." [Rush & Molloy]
• Robin Williams' wife filed for divorce last week — is it because Robin is dating an artist who is 29 years younger? [Rush & Molloy]
• If Avril Lavigne ran a celebrity tabloid, "I would make it completely positive," she says. "There's so much negativity right now. I'd pick up the big stories, but they'd have to be positive." [Rush & Molloy]
• American Idol contestant David Cook was rushed to the hospital last night with heart palpitations and high blood pressure. He's been stressed out because his brother has cancer. He was released but is being monitored. [TMZ]
• Also, Ryan Seacrest hurt is knee. Poor baby. [TMZ]
• Jay Leno apologized yesterday for prompting Ryan Phillippe to give the camera his "gayest look" on-air. (Phillippe replied,"Wow. That is so something I don't want to do.") GLAAD said Leno's "joke" was "demonstrating a lack of respect." [People]
• Tia Mowry of '90s show Sister, Sister is getting married in 3 weeks, and leaning on — you guessed it — her sister Tamera for help. [People]
• Oooh, a London-based version of The Hills? With brainier chicks? [E!]
• Rumer Willis will guest star on Miss Guided, the TV show produced by her stepdad, Ashton Kutcher. Now you can't say she's famous for nothing! [ET]

The Good:

The Bad:

The Ugly:

• Remember the news about the new reality show in which Tyra Banks pits a group of young women against one another to compete for a job at a fashion magazine? Well, it looks like the ladymag in question is ELLE and creative director Joe Zee and fashion news director/calorie restrictor Anne Slowey are going to be judges. Having worked with these people, allow me to just say this is going to make for good television. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• The Danish Fashion Institute is putting up signs throughout Copenhagen that read "Eating Is the New Black" and "The Weight of Your Worth Is Not Measured in Kilos." First person to wrangle us one gets a pony! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Victoria's Secret has named Victoria Beckham the sexiest mom of 2008. We're seriously doubtful about the credibility of this list, though, as it also named Ryan Seacrest as having the sexiest smile. [Sassybella]

• David Beckham wearing the naked Victoria Beckham Marc Jacobs shirt! [Chic Report]
• ELLE's Nina Garcia offers this following advice to the masses, "Don't be a fashion victim. Be true to yourself and get your own personal style and look." She uttered these pearls of wisdom, mind you, while shilling for the new pink Blackberry Pearl on Tuesday night. Exactly. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The fashions at Wal-Mart: Supposedly getting "cooler." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Intimates designer Josie Natori now has a ready-to-wear line. It is called (what else?) Natorious. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Imitation of Christ designer/prepster-turned-hipster/Wes Anderson main squeeze Tara Subkoff has paired with Bebe to do a capsule collection for them. Ooooh, pleaaase call it the Imitation of Christ Bebe Jesus line!! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Moschino has a new diffusion line called Love Moschino. Only it's not exactly new. It's just Moschino Jeans, renamed. Moschino Jeans, incidentally, used to be named Love Moschino. Follow? [Vogue UK]
• We do not approve of Van Cleef & Arpels and Earnest Sewn collaborating on blinged-out jeans. Ew. [Fashion Week Daily]
• For those of you always asking how you get a smoky eye, here ya go. [BellaSugar]

The Good:
Katherine Heigl proves you can wear white after Labor Day; Portia DiRossi and Ellen DeGeneres compliment each other beautifully

Ugly Betty's Becki Newton ousts Ariel, owns the mermaid-shape; Heidi Klum looks gorgeous beyond words — maybe all 83 of her nannies helped her get ready?

The Bad:
Did someone spill Pepto Bismol on Sara Ramirez's dress before she headed out?; Paula Abdul's dress looks like a wardrobe malfunction.

We know we shouldn't mock the pregnants, but Christina Aguilera makes us say "Oy"; And why did Jenna Fischer dress herself in a roll of wrapping paper for an awards ceremony?

The Ugly:
Ellen Pompeo's Flying Nun hair negates classiness of her dress; Hayden Panetierre actually might take flight in sheer volume of her frock.

Ashley Jensen's hair looks straight out of an early 80's prom, and the pink dress doesn't help; Ryan Seacrest, per usual, looks like a lizard.

[Images via FilmMagic]

The Good: Sophia Bush looks sleek, Eve proves that jumpsuits are hot, Oleysa Rudin rocks modest-chic, and Emily Deschanel is just so pretty and classy that we would totally hate her if we didn't totally love her.

The Bad: Miley Cyrus found Nemo — on her dress, Avril Lavigne needs to get a new look already, Vanessa Hudgens looks like Cleopatra at the prom, and Hillary Duff could be twins with pre-nose job Ashlee Simpson

The Ugly: David Spade, Ryan Seacrest, Sanjaya, and Larry Birkhead: Enough said.

[Universal City, CA; August 26. Images via FilmMagic.]

• Star Jones finally admits she had gastric bypass surgery. Now if we could get her to admit that Al swings both ways! [People]
  
• Paris Hilton has landed a film role — playing the privileged daughter of an organ transplant magnate. It's a musical. Set in the year 2056. [Page Six]
  
• Sean Penn: Offering free marriage counseling to a bride-to-be. [Page Six]
  
• Michael and Dina Lohan in court: Icy silence. [Page Six]
  
• Anne Hathaway: In the Hamptons, in tears. Yeah, those nouveau-riche assholes get us down too. [Page Six]
  
• "Kate's nasty but I love her." —Pete Doherty. Also: "I like the way she walks and talks. I love her bones. I love her brain." And so much more! [Mirror]

• Adam Sandler hasn't been wearing his wedding ring lately. Trouble with the wife? Or shooting a film? Does anyone care? [Gatecrasher]
• "If wishes came true, Ryan Seacrest would have AIDS." — former American Idol co-host Brian Dunkleman. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• Blind item time! "Which unlikely sports celebrity will soon be gracing a fitness magazine cover as part of a back-room deal to keep certain damaging hooker allegations out of a different publication?" Guesses, please! [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Whoa, a literary blind item! "A prize-winning author notifies some of the grad students in his creative writing program that his lovely wife, also a writer, has left him for one of America's most prominent captains of industry." [Galleycat]
• Usher called off his wedding, then his fiancée landed in the hospital for pregnancy complications. What a mess. [Rush & Molloy]
• Former American Idol contestant Corey Clark was arrested again, and judging from his mug shot, he loved every minute of it! [Entertainment Tonight]
• The Brits are calling Kirsten Dunst a "Hollywood hellraiser." [DailyMail]
• Good Morning America's Robin Roberts has breast cancer. [ABC News]
• R.I.P. Michelangelo Antonioni. [Reuters]

• Paris Hilton spoke to Barbara Walters from jail and we will be watching The View in two hours to hang on to Barbara's ev-uh-wee word. [ABC News]
  
• Madonna and JFK Jr. abstained from having sex with each other. Because they didn't have condoms, and AIDS still killed celebrities in those days. [Page Six]
  
• Princess Diana was a Mean Girl to Fergie, had the "attention span of a fruit fly," and Camilla didn't even really love Charles as much as her first husband. [MSNBC]
  
• Just heard on Fox & Friends from a caller regarding The Sopranos finale: "I'm glad you're focusing on this topic a little more than Paris today." [Washington Post]
  
• Dina Lohan visits daughter Lindsay in rehab, but only as an excuse to miss a court date. Jail = so good for a career these days! [People]
  
• Jennifer Aniston is like two degrees of sex-aration from Posh Spice. [Mirror]
• The Clay Aiken message boards are totally flaming. [Page Six]
  
• Ryan Seacrest blames American Idol's ratings drop on an "oversaturation" of judge Simon Cowell. After Seacrest's soliloquy in Knocked Up, we pretty much agree with everything he says. [MSNBC]
  
• Dennis Quaid's surrogate mother (wife?) is carrying twins. [People]