I cannot freakin’ believe that another season of Dancing With the Stars has begun, and yet I haven’t aged a day.
After Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte finished his first dance on Monday evening’s season premiere of Dancing With the Stars, the broadcast cut to a splitscreen of prerecorded footage and judge Carrie Ann Inaba’s shocked expression as something went down on the ballroom floor.
Hello. Sorry for the delay, my fellow champions for the pretty attractive and mostly decent men of the world. I slept in. Not very woke of me, I know. Fall is close, but as the temperature begins to cool, please keep a fire in your hearts for the men of August who were not terrible!
Where do you go after spending 14 years rolling back Texas abortion access and executing the mentally ill? The dance floor, baby!
Ever so briefly, Taylor Swift lived like the common people do by serving jury duty today in Nashville, Tennessee. But she was quickly relieved of her civic duty. The judge determined that she could not be an “impartial” juror for the case at hand.
I don’t know about you all but I’m settling back into things nicely. The gavel feels smooth in my hand and my robe still fits. Still, as was the case before my retirement, I continue to be trolled by people with delusions of cleverness.
Hey, remember when Amber Heard decided she would send all of that settlement money from her ‘stache of an ex Johnny Depp to charity?
“Heck jeah,” a contrite and newly brunette Ryan Lochte whispers quietly to an empty room. “I know how to make America love me again. I’m going to be on Dancing With The Stars.”
Contrary to what the lamestream tabloids (all of whom are in the pocket of “Big Bush”) have been trying to make you all swallow, William Hall “Billy” Bush was NOT “bigfooted” by his Today cohost Matt Lauer for that big interview with Ryan Lochte. Even though Bush broke the (untrue) robbery story, Lochte demanded…
How lovely it’s been to focus on news unrelated to the 2016 presidential election — a fine respite from that tugging urge to run howling into the sea. But alas, it’s time to say goodbye to the 2016 Summer Olympics. We offer you this space for closing ceremony conviviality, commiseration, and whatever else may be…
In today’s Tweet Beat, Courtney Love expresses her displeasure, Yoko Ono is a fan of rain and Samuel L Jackson is a women’s water polo fan.
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This isn’t what I wanted to show you all on a Friday morning, but it’s all I have to work with. Though typically lush rainforests of celebrity news, my treasured gossip sites are deserts this morning, and the only two creatures clinging to life on their cracked earth are Ryan Cabrera and Avril…
Ryan Lochte is getting a lot of attention for being some kind of gas station pissing criminal mastermind, followed by teammates Gunnar Bentz and Jack Conger, who were pulled off a plane in a moment of dramatic intrigue, but everyone is forgetting the fourth misfit in this crackpot team—James Feigen.
Last week, American swimmer Ryan Lochte shared a harrowing tale with the international media. On the way back from a party celebrating the Rio Olympics, the story went, he and three others were pulled over and violently robbed at gunpoint. In the ensuing days, Brazilian officials have raised doubts about their story.…
On Saturday, Olympic swimmers Ryan Lochte, Gunnar Bentz, James Feigen and Jack Conger reported a robbery at gunpoint at a gas station by muggers posing as police officers. The Rio police took umbrage with reports of crime in their fair city, and the story began to fall apart.
This whole story about US swimmers Ryan Lochte, Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger, and Jimmy Feigen maybe or maybe not getting robbed at gunpoint by men who were maybe posing as Brazilian police officers is fishy and riddled with inconsistencies. Brazilian police cast doubt on Lochte’s story, and earlier today, a Brazilian…
Ryan Lochte and James Feigen, two US Olympic swimmers who claimed they were robbed at gunpoint in Rio, are set to have their passports seized by a Brazilian court because, it seems, no one can back up their mugging-at-gunpoint story.