• Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley: Headed for divorce? According to sources:

She's been "partying hard and hanging with a number of male admirers." The two, married in 2006, have not been photographed together since last December. [Gatecrasher]

• Chris Brown sat down with Larry King last night for a "no-holds-barred chat." Expect it to air sometime next week. Interesting that it wasn't not live — no one could call in or Tweet and tell Chris how they really feel about him. [E!]
• Meanwhile Rihanna went dancing with Serena Williams, Queen Latifah and Paula Patton. [Gatecrasher]
• At her concert in Bucharest, Madonna spoke out against the discrimination of Gypsies. She said it made her "sad" that the Roma peple were discriminated against. The crowd booed. [AP]
• These blurry pix are the "three slick hipsters" who allegedly ransacked Lindsay Lohan's house. [NY Daily News]
• WTF: Some fans were escorted from their seats by security for "dancing too provocatively" at the Britney Spears concert in NYC on Tuesday. This is the same woman who shimmied half-naked with a snake while moaning "I'm a slave for you," right? [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin's reaction to Kate Gosselin's interview with Larry King: "She didn't say anything. She just kept on redirecting and avoiding answering the questions." Jon adds: "When Larry's ready for me, I can answer questions." [MSNBC]
• Cops have located Jasmine Fiore's Mercedes, missing since her murder. Ryan Jenkins was seen leaving a hotel near San Diego on August 14 in the car — carrying a suitcase — it was the same suitcase that was later found to contain Fiore's body. [TMZ]
• Uh-oh: Gerard Butler's pug, Lolita, got into an "altercation" with a greyhound. The greyhound allegedly bit Gerard's dog twice — but the greyhound's owner says that Gerard's dog wasn't on a leash and that Gerard hit his greyhound on the head and shouted, "That dog should be put down!" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ashley Olsen wore corduroy trousers and a turban to a Girl Talk concert in Brooklyn on Saturday. It was 90°. [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum gets naked in her new coffee-table book, Rankin's Heidilicious, out in October. She says: "It's very naughty. I've been shooting with this photographer, Rankin, for seven years, and working with him is fun because he always makes me look different. And he always gets me to take my clothes off for some reason. We'll do some job, and then he'll say, 'Why don't we shoot some more things,' and I'll wind up without anything on." [E!]
• Lily Allen looks effing hot on the cover of Elle UK. Inside she says: "I wish I'd never written [my song] 'Not Fair.' You know, the thought honestly - really, honestly - never even occurred to me that it would scare men. I thought it might empower women. I thought women would go: 'Oh God, yes, at last somebody is saying it.' I didn't think it would put me in a position where guys would be like, 'Whoa, no, I'm not sleeping with you in case you write something about it!'" [The Sun]
• Derek Jeter and MInka Kelly: Secretly engaged. [Page Six]
• Anne Heche was on Letterman last night and bashed her ex-husband, Coley Laffoon. She called him a "lazy ass" and when asked by Letterman what Lafdoon does for a living, Heche said: "He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, 'Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!'" [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood spills some details about her True Blood character Queen Sophie-Ann: "She's not necessarily a lesbian. Her human partner is a girl, but I'm pretty sure she goes both ways [laughs]. I think vampires are like that in general." In addition, that interview links to an Alexander Skarsgård shower scene. Le sigh. [E!, E!]
• Singer, songwriter, Mandy Moore's husband and now blogger: Ryan Adams will be writing a video game column for website The Awl. [Page Six]
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks on the big screen! She will star alongside Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel in the romance Life As We Know It. [Variety]
• Blake Lively has joined the cast of Ben Affleck's crime thriller The Town, which also stars Jon Hamm. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paulina Porizkova blogs: "I feel the need to constantly prove I'm not some dumb model." So she reads "lengthy sagas set in hot foreign lands." Her choices include: A Suitable Boy, The Soldier of the Great War, and Rain of Gold. "None of these books are under 500 pages," she writes, "so once read, they can be used to tone biceps or in step class." [Page Six via Modelinia.com]
• Are we supposed to be focusing on Carrie Ann Inaba's crotch in this "spay or neuter today" PETA ad? [People]
• Tom Sizemore: Charged with spousal battery. [TMZ]
• Bob Dylan's Christmas album: Not a joke. [NY Daily News]
• "Malaysia's government has barred Muslims from a concert by U.S. hip-hop stars the Black Eyed Peas next month because the event is organized by Irish beer giant Guinness, an official said Thursday." [AP]
• The new Darren Aronofsky film Black Swan has an explicit sex scene — "not just nice sweet innocent sex, we're talking ecstasy-induced, hungry, angry sex." This paper claims: "No wonder Darren didn't want Rachel Weisz, mother to his three-year-old child, to star." Huh. Well. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis will star instead. [Daily Express]
• Joanne Woodward will take over her late husband Paul Newman's film project, Lucky Them, starring Marisa Tomei, which starts shooting in the fall. [Page Six]
• T-Mobile is pushing myTouch 3G, the product competing with the iPhone, and Whoopi Goldberg will star in some of the ads. Way less creepy than that Palm Pre lady. [AdWeek]
• A source close to Ryan O'Neal says there is no truth to the rumor that Redmond is getting his own reality show. [UPI]
• Robin Williams decided to get rid of his body hair for new movie World's Greatest Dad. "I shaved because if you don't, it's, like, animal-rights issues," he says. "With this, I said to [writer-director Bobcat Goldthwait], 'I think for this scene, I should take everything off because at this point he's literally shedding everything.' It's a breakdown, but in a weird way, a positive one." [LA Times]
• Isaiah Washington and his wife have fallen behind on their house payments and face eviction; the landlord claims the former Grey's Anatomy star owes $100,000 in rent. [USA Today]
• "The less and less you 'act,' great. I had a great acting teacher at Juilliard who said, 'Sometimes, Method acting can be like urinating in brown corduroy pants: You feel wonderful, and we see nothing.' " — Robin Williams. [LA Times]
• "I think women are bitchy. That's the difference. They'll smile at you and then kill you. The men just give it right at you. Oprah's just very cold. Oprah, if she don't need you, she don't know you. Streisand, they say she's desperately shy. I think when you've got $600million, take lessons on how not to be shy. If you've got $600million, say hello to everybody. They gave it to you." — Joan Rivers. [Daily Express]
• "Someone is going to take a tweezer to those brows, and I think her hair's going to change up a little bit. It's definitely time for her to sort of grow up a little bit. People are freaking out. There's a huge sort of battle, half the people are like, get them off! And other people are like, no! It's Betty! She's always going to be Betty, but yeah, the braces are gone, the brows are being trimmed, and she's going to get a little bit more of a swoop." — Ana Ortiz, aka Hilda on the upcoming changes on Ugly Betty. [NY Mag]
• "Being German, I had a pretty precise idea of what a German movie star would be like. But I've never been shot at in a film. Most of those scenes are actually quite funny to shoot. The blood is sticky, everything sticks to you and you're pretending to be in pain… I'm a big fan personally. Most actors are. All his movies are performance driven and he writes incredibly well for women. I loved Pam Grier in Jackie Brown." — Diane Kruger, on being in Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. [HuffPo]
• "Man, we got so beaten over the head for that! It's not like the four boys and I wrote it. You get hired to do it, they give you a script and you learn your lines. If I could have, I would have done the whole thing in German, with subtitles-everyone in dirndls and on swings and milking cows. Each nominee would have had to ride in on a big cow and milk it." — Heidi Klum, on hosting the Emmys last year. [E!]

[Los Angeles, March 22. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• A $50,000 warrant has been issued for the arrest of Lindsay Lohan in connection with her May 2007 DUI arrest. The police are not releasing specifics, but hope that Lohan will "surrender herself." [TMZ]

• The Beverly Hills Police Department has issued this statement: "In response to media inquiries, [the] Beverly Hills Police Department is confirming a warrant was in fact issued today [March 13] for the arrest of Lindsay Lohan. The $50,000 warrant issued by the Beverly Hills Superior Court stems from a May 2007 arrest of Miss Lohan for DUI and hit-and-run. The circumstances leading to the issuance of the warrant by the court are not readily available at this time. It is our hope that Miss Lohan will surrender herself so that this matter will be resolved in a timely manner."[USWeekly]
• You may not have to hear that alleged Chris Brown and Rihanna duet after all: "Chris and [producer] Polow da Don wrote a song together," the source says, "Around August or September of 2008, Chris and Rihanna recorded a demo of that song. What they recorded were just reference vocals. There is no duet, and nothing has been recorded together since February."[JustJared]
• Katy Perry says she's not interested in the paparazzi: ""I don't ever do anything to try and bring it upon myself.There are ten thousand other restaurants besides the Ivy. I'm not obsessed with getting my picture taken. You know there's just so much taken out of context. There's so much nit-picking. I turned my data alerts off."[ShowbizSpy]
• Khloe Kardashian has some klassy words for Jeff Eldridge, the West Virginia lawmaker attempting to pass a Barbie ban: "He can suck an egg, seriously. He's probably butt-ugly and always wanted a girlfriend that looked like Barbie but could never get one. People like that really annoy me." [FoxNews]
• Keira Knightley's swashbuckling days are apparently behind her: the actress won't be back for Pirates of the Caribbean 4: "It was a completely fantastic experience, and it was an amazingly large portion of my life, but I don't think I need to go there again. I think that it's done. But I'm very excited to see the next one."[Cinematical]
• Krista Barth, who once represented Howard K. Stern, says Stern is being punished based on media speculation and not facts: "The television, tabloid and Internet trial of Mr. Stern in the court of public opinion has been based on sensational lies, speculation, rumor and gossip," Barth says, "Unfortunately, it appears that criminal charges have now been brought by the state of California based on this same type of misinformation." [People]
• Robert Pattinson struggled to film a gay sex scene for his upcoming film, Little Ashes. ""[The hardest part was] trying to do it doggie-style. Trying to have a nervous breakdown while doing it doggie-style," Pattinson says, "And it wasn't even a closed set. There were all these Spanish electricians giggling to themselves."[ShowbizSpy]
• Former WWE wrestler Andrew Martin, better known as Test, has been found dead at the age of 33. [ONTD]
• Michael Jackson impersonator Navi is denying charges that it was he, and not MJ, who showed up at the wacky press conference announcing Jackson's upcoming tour. "That was Michael Jackson, I'd stake my life on it,' Navi says, "He is so reclusive, most people don't know what he really looks like. When he's not on stage, he does walk with a slight hunch. If that wasn't Michael Jackson, I might as well give up - because it means there must be someone out there who's better than me." [DailyMail]
• "People say to me, "Madonna must really boss you around" and I tell them "No! She's the most docile, sweet, quiet little student. She'll follow everything I want. Madonna never slacks off. She's like a gym nerd." -Madonna's trainer, Tracy Anderson.[Mirror]
• Mandy Moore's iPod goes up for sale for charity soon, and shock of shocks! There are no Ryan Adams songs on it. 10 bucks says Ryan doesn't have "Candy" on his iPod, either. [PageSix]
• Is Clive Owen the new Cary Grant? I love them both, but, uh, no. [TimesOnline]
• "I just really think that when people really understand that this is a human rights issue and that there are a percentage of people living in this country that don't have the same rights as everybody else, I think that people will be compelled to make sure that they live in a country where every single citizen has the same rights."-Portia de Rossi on Prop 8. [LATimes]
• Matt Lauer's Where In The World Is Matt Lauer? series has been cancelled due to the poor economy. Meanwhile, Carmen Sandiego is still on the loose, Gumshoes! [USWeekly]

• Brad Pitt's mom was supposed to move into the Long Island estate where the posse is staying while Angelina Jolie films Salt, but Angelina has reportedly nixed the idea.

She thinks Brad should be able to handle the kids on his own, like she did when he was filming in Germany, according to a source. No word on what is up with the nanny, but that was a Star story and this is from a different source. [National Enquirer]

• Jen Aniston and John Mayer have indeed broken up. [Gatecrasher]
• It's official: Dancing With The Stars is a goddamn health hazard. Now Steve-O has pinched nerves. [ET]
• Injured Jewel will sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" on DWTS on Tuesday. [UPI]
• Bong boy Michael Phelps's interview with Matt Lauer will air on the Today show this morning and again Sunday on Dateline. [ET]
• Here's what you're gonna hear Michael Phelps say during the interview: "mistake," "bad judgment," "stupid mistake." Wait, do you regret it? [People]
• Last week, four of the celeb weeklies put Rihanna on the cover, and none of them saw an increase in sales. Life & Style had a picture of Jennifer Aniston on the cover, and sold more than sister mag In Touch. [NY Post]
• Chris Brown's image still appears on Sony Music's website. [NY Daily News]
• Details on Mandy Moore's wedding to Ryan Adams: The bride wore a "cream-colored, lacy tea-length dress and flat sandals" and the groom wore "tight skinny jeans, a T-shirt with sport coat and sneakers." The pastor "didn't know who they were." The ceremony took eight minutes. [People]
• The woman is dead but Anna Nicole Smith's legal issues live on: Now Howard K. Stern has turned himself in for providing ANS with prescription drugs. He was arrested and booked yesterday and the charge is a felony. [TMZ, People, Fox 411]
• This report begins, "Let's stop encouraging Joaquin Phoenix's miscreant behavior - the only thing real about this rap act is the beard." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joaquin's "brawl": "It was a fake fight," says a witness. "Nobody threw a punch. They were just holding onto each other." [Page Six]
• Here's what Hayden Panettiere has to say about that "outburst" she had on the red carpet: "I have tremendous respect for the media and reporters – particularly the press who treat the people they are interviewing with dignity. While in Hawaii, one reporter grabbed me suddenly from behind and frightened me. It happens. Typically, the press has treated me with great respect." [Ok!]
  
• Will Slumdog's Freida Pinto be the new Bond girl? Signs point to yes. [The Sun]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon may have "beaten up" her boyfriend to make sure she stays on Real Housewives. People are saying the attack was fake. [Gatecrasher]
• Someone is leaving House. Who, who? Also, Judy Greer is in an episode next week. She says: "[My character] works at a nursing home and there's a cat, and whoever's bed the cat sleeps on dies in the next couple of days. And then one day the cat snuggled up to my character and she totally freaks out and goes to see House..." [E!]
• Miley Cyrus wanted to meet Radiohead after the Grammys. She was told they "don't do that." She says: "I left 'cause I was so upset. I wasn't going to watch them. Stinkin' Radiohead! I'm going to ruin them. I'm going to tell everyone." Radiohead responds: "When Miley grows up, she'll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement." [Mirror]
• Feel like doing a *headdesk*? Peaches Geldof will be in a reality show about her "career" at Nylon magazine. [The Sun]
• No one wants you to forget that auction documents show that Michael Jackson's house was filled with sculptures of boys. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton has a job! She's been cast in a CW show produced by Ashton Kutcher. "Ashton developed it about his life growing up as a model from Iowa, so it's about the whole fashion world that he was in, and obviously I have a lot of friends in the fashion world, so I'm used to being around a lot of people in that," Barton says. "[I play] a bitchy model-type character, like it's a totally different character for me." [People]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson did an SNL skit about Hawaii's tourist industry and now the Governor of that state is pissed. [CBS News]
• Congrats to Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer, who is now a U.S. citizen. [People]
• Hugh Hefner is selling his house. Not the Playboy Mansion  the one next door, where his wife was living. [WSJ]
• OutKast's André Benjamin says it's tough being a fashion designer because people think "hip-hop stars will just throw their names on anything." And: "I'm not a gay man." [Page Six]
• Set your DVR: Tracy Pollan (Mrs. Michael J. Fox) is playing Natalee Holloway's mom in a Lifetime movie. [USA Today]
• Nicollette Sheridan could return to Desperate Housewives after she leaves this season. The show's creator says: "I wouldn't be surprised if that's just a nasty rumour and Nicollette has more Desperate Housewives episodes in her future." [Mirror]
• Vin Diesel says his life has changed in "an incredible way" since the birth of his daughter last year. [Mirror]
• Chris Cornell not only has a new Timbaland-produced album coming out, he has a second career as a restauranteur. In Paris. [Guardian]
• A screenwriter is suing the makers of the Jane Fonda/Jennifer Lopez flick Monster-In-Law, accusing them of stealing her plot. Sorta late, no? [E!]
• Researchers with too much time on their hands have "discovered" that if you listen to U2, you're smart, and if you listen to Lil Wayne, you're not. [The Sun]
• Whatever happened to Mary Stuart Masterson? She's in a new indie called The Cake Eaters. [LA Times]
• Least blind blind item ever? "Which rapper threatened a pal after the buddy mistreated his girlfriend? The icon got in his face, then froze him out on the group's private jet." [Gatecrasher]
• "I certainly try my best not to be a terrible interview subject. But I am tortured. If you've been acting all your life, you can just talk about yourself without ever thinking about what's going on inside the head of the person that's interviewing you. But for me it's different, because I'm constantly seeing it from both sides. I don't think there's any connection between my journalism career and my film career."  Greg Kinnear. [Independent]
• "I think that the best way to judge movies is, like, 10 years after they're released. I think they should actually do the awards that way. I think they should have done the Academy Awards this year for movies from 1998. I think it's better to look at a movie and then step back and look at it again. I don't think that the awards necessarily get it right. I think they get it wrong more often than they get it right."  Matt Damon, to Parade. [MSNBC]
• "For me this thing happened so long ago and I just really wish people could move on from it. I don't live in the past. When I read headlines about me saying 'When she was 15 her mother shot her father' it's very sensational for me.It happened 18 years ago. Since then I've had a complete, full life and, my God, if I've been living the past 18 years in the past because of one event that happened in my life someone should put a gun to my head and put me out of my misery because that's a waste of my life. I am 33 and I have had a much bigger life than that one event."  Charlize Theron. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm probably a lot more boring than I used to be and more tired at night. You can't fake it. It's like when it's bedtime, it's bedtime. I go to bed earlier and I get up earlier. I think being a parent changes everything about you in really little ways and in ways that you don't really understand unless you have kids. It's kind of like describing a guitar chord - it's not really a simple thing to do."  Matt Damon, to Parade. [Mirror]
• "Before we were married, my wife and I used to play a game called Let's Go Get Lost. We'd be driving, and she would just tell me to turn. 'Turn here, turn here, turn here.' I'd say, 'Baby, I know this town too well. I can't get lost.' And she'd say, "Turn, turn, turn." Until we were out in Indian country, and they were shooting at us."  Tom Waits. [GQ]
• "I'm kind of frightened of the red carpet. I really am. And, you know, it gets worse. At one time, you could just come down the line, meet the fans, see the film and hopefully a good night is had by all. It's changed. You have people checking out your dress from the minute you step onto the carpet and then, you know, it's a hit or miss. That can be more frightening than the premiere."  Julia Roberts. [CBS News]
• "I'm currently in the writing process. I'm learning how to play music and write song, but they're comedy songs. Because I can't write music or play very well - actually, I have quite a bit of musical aptitude when it comes to the guitar, but I don't know how to write music - I'm collaborating with different artists who are giving me the music while I provide the lyrics. Two of the people I'm collaborating with will be performing with me at SXSW - Patty Griffin and Amanda Palmer [of the Dresden Dolls]. [The songs] are all pretty dirty. The titles are things like, 'I'm In Love With Someone Else So Fuck You' and 'Eat Shit and Die.'"  Margaret Cho, who is performing at SXSW… as a musician. [Time]

• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams split up last summer, but now they're back on. So on, in fact, that they're engaged.

• Though there were reports that Moore was dating her ex, DJ AM, after he was in a plane crash, they called things off in December. Few people knew Moore had reunited with her other ex, Adams, but now she has been spotted wearing an engagement ring. "She is so excited about their engagement but admits it's been a whirlwind. She's really happy," says a friend. [Just Jared]
• Law enforcement sources say what started the Chris Brown-Rihanna fight was a text message he received from a woman who wanted to hook up with him later. Also, police took pictures at the scene and the source claims Chris Brown hit Rihanna so hard with his fists, she could barely open her eyes for the photos because they were almost completely swollen shut. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown's former step-father, Donnelle Hawkins, who Chris says abused his mother, says he "wouldn't be surprised" to learn that Chris hurt Rihanna. Hawkins also said he "never raised a hand at his mom," and claims Chris doesn't like him because he spanked him once. [Us]
• Chris Brown's sister, Lytrell Bundy (a.k.a. Tootie) says he's never been prone to agression. "He's always been a good boy  never violent," says Tootie. [Extra]
• Terrence Howard doesn't seem all that concerned by the domestic abuse allegations though, saying of the situation, "It's just life man." He adds, "Chris is a great guy. He'll be all right. Rihanna knows he loves her. They'll be alright. Everyone has just got to get out of their way." [ONTD]
• Jessica Simpson addressed the controversy over her weight. "Honestly, I am right where I'm supposed to be. I am so happy. Right now I'm on tour with Rascal Flatts, having a blast," said Jessica. [Extra]
• Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton went to visit Potter stunt double David Holmes in the hospital. Holmes sustained a spinal cord injury during filming. [The Daily Mail]
• Courtney Love is planning to move to the UK because L.A. is "full of crazy people." She warns, "Madonna had better stay the hell away from London when I move here to live! There's no room for us both." [The Daily Express]
• Anna Friel says there's more pressure on women to be thin in the U.K. than in L.A. Perhaps Courtney should think twice before making the move. [The Sun]
• Eric Dane told Ellen that he and wife Rebecca Gayheart are working on having a baby. He says making the baby is "Hard work, great if you can get it though." [People]
• You can watch the trailer for the new Quentin Tarantino/Brad Pitt movie Inglorious Basterds here. In a departure for Tarantino, this film looks super violent. [Entertainment Weekly]
• A Bahamas judge has refused to lower bail for Tarino Lightbourne, who is accused of attempting to extort more than $25 million from the Travolta family. [E!]
• A senior Thai diplomat has warned Angelina Jolie not to speak out on behalf of Muslim refugees from Myanmar because that's not the purpose of her visit to a refugee camp in Thailand. Jolie said the Thai government should respect the human rights of Myanmar's Rohinyga "boat people," but most of the refugees she met were in the camp for unrelated reasons. [Yahoo]
• Peaches Geldof never told her family that she was divorcing husband Max Drummey - they found out on the Internet like the rest of us. [The Daily Mail]
• Gwyneth Paltrow says she thought walking the red carpet with husband Chris Martin at the Grammys would have been "cheesy," but says she was excited about the Coldplay wins. "I was over the moon because those guys work so hard. They're so, so dedicated, and they bleed, sweat and cry to get it all perfect." [E!]
• Gwyneth said at a star studded cancer benefit, "I'm like a housewife in England. I'm married to a singer." [The Star]
• Kylie Minogue's friend denies that she's moving in with her Spanish supermodel boyfriend. "He's gorgeous, but I don't know if he's the main one. I think she's got a few (men) on the menu." [The Daily Express]
• Tom Cruise is in talks to star in The Matarese Circle, a movie about two enemy spies who, after spending two decades trying to kill one another have to take down a group at the root of a conspiracy. Denzel Washington will play the other spy. [Variety]
• Molly Bee, the country singer best known for the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," has died at the age of 69 from complications following a stroke. [AP]
• Kanye West now regrets that he once said "gays really know how to dress." "Your dress don't give away whether or not you like a man," says Kanye, who explains that he made the comment a long time ago when he was ignorant about homosexuality. "There's a lot of gay people who don't dress good at all. There's a lot of gay people that I dress way better than." [NY Magazine]
• Tobey Maguire says his daughter Ruby is excited about her new sibling, who is due this spring. "She's loving it. She's really into the belly and it growing and her baby dolls. Ruby's not really jealous. She just loves being around people, and this will be like having another little playmate," he says. [E!]
• Kenny Chesney wants you to know that he isn't gay. He says, "Man, I was over 100 [women] several years ago. There were years when I had a better summer than A-Rod, buddy. You know? I got on the boards quite often ... What guy who loves girls wouldn't be angry about [rumors he is gay]? I didn't sign up for that. I think people need to live their lives the way they want to, but I'm pretty confident in the fact that I love girls (laughs). I've got a long line of girls who could testify that I am not gay." [Shakespeare's Sister]
• Someone asked Jon Hamm's girlfriend, actress Jennifer Westfeldt: "What does Jon really smell like? Please say frosting." She replied: "Only frosting, all the time. No, not frosting. He is, in fact, a wonderful cook, but not a baker. I'll make that distinction. He doesn't really bake. In fact, I don't think he's ever baked. We were going to a holiday party and he woke up, he's like, "Let's make cookies to bring. It will be awesome." And I was like, "What a lovely idea." And basically, he wanted to get the ones that you cut up, that are pre-made. I was like, "No. We're making 'em. We're making 'em from scratch." He didn't actually participate in the baking at all. But he's good on a grill. I'll say that." That's a cute story, but the question remains: what does Jon Hamm smell like?! [Entertainment Weekly]

• Did John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston break up? Sources say she's been dumped. Gah! An unnamed, possibly non-trustworthy, totally random source says: "John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn't ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved. Contrary to reports, Jen didn't want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together." Is it a good or a bad thing? And how long will we have to hear the "desperate single" gossip about Jen? [Mirror]
• Britney and her sons are wearing white on the cover of OK!. And she, uh, doesn't want Jayden and Preston to have careers in showbiz. "But but I’d love them unconditionally if they wanted to. I’d just as soon they have a more normal childhood," she says. Is it "normal" to be on the cover of a trashy tabloid with your weave-wearing mom? (More in Midweek Madness!) [MSNBC]
• Britney went to a party! And her dad went with her! And she didn't drink! And people say she looked good! [E!]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie are "on the very cusp" of adopting a little girl from Malawi. Her name is Mercy and Madonna "fell in love" with her at an orphanage last year. [The Sun]

• Meanwhile, Guy Ritchie has been doing ju-jitsu with Jason Statham. "I've been fighting Guy in his garage in L.A.," Jason says. "We're killing each other. That's another of my passions, strangling friends." Why does he make it sound so hot? [Mirror]
• Lily Allen is back with ex-boyfriend Ed Simons but by the time you read this they may be broken up again. [The Sun]
• Rhys Ifans is back with Kim Stewart but by the time you read this they may be broken up again. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse is finally settling down to work on an album, which she hopes to finish by the time Blake Incarcerated gets out. We'll believe it when he hear it. [The Sun]
• Oh, dear. In a survey of 3,500 Britons, the number one celebrity people had nightmares about was Amy Winehouse. [The Star]
• Officials have released the news that the cause of death for Isaac Hayes was a stroke. The saddest sentence ever: "Family members found Hayes lying on the floor of his home beside a treadmill that was still switched on." [Yahoo News]
• Natalie Portman's directorial debut, Eve, is a 17-minute film described as "a civilized comedy." Opening at the Venice Film Festival, it stars Lauren Bacall and Ben Gazzara. Wanna see! [Yahoo News]
• Oh lord. Here we go again. George Clooney says: "I have never texted or emailed Senator Obama. And I'll offer a million dollars to anyone who could prove otherwise. In fact, I've only talked to the Senator once in the last year and a half… on the phone." WTF. This is the same thing that happened with Scarlett Johannson. We just heard that George was giving Barack tips on policy! Does this mean that the Daily Mail lied? Are we not to believe everything we read? [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman brought her one month old daughter to her movie set. Working mom! [Star]
• Blake Lively's nose job seems to have occurred sometime in 2006. Plus, she says: "I've kissed just three people in my life, other than stuff that I've done for TV or movies. I know — I'm weird!" [LA Times]
• Chris Martin joked about dating other women on Japanese TV, saying, "Thankfully, my wife is over 1,000 miles away." [Mirror]
• Is Tom Cruise's career in the shitter? [Page Six]
• Julianne Moore is a stone cold fox in shots for Wonderland magazine. She talks about always being nekkid in flicks: "People ask all the time if sex scenes and nudity are hard. What’s hard? Not the lines or the physicality, but the emotion." [Daily Mail]
• Does Ryan Adams want Mandy Moore back? [Gawker]
• The fantastic Ellen Burstyn is coming to Law & Order SVU as Stabler's mom! [EW.com]
• Adrian Grenier and Isabel Lucas (aka Shia LaBeouf's car crash costar): Dunzo. [Yahoo News]
• Tori Spelling won't be on 90210 after all. Jennie Garth=sad. "I'm really bummed because I love Tori and I was psyched Tori was going to be on the show. I think she should definitely get paid as much as either of us is getting paid. Her father created the show. It just seems wrong if that’s the case. I don’t know what really happened… I don’t know if it’s about the money." [EW.com]
• Mark Consuelos will perform the ceremony in the marriage of Howard Stern to Beth Ostrosky. Uh… [Fox News]
• Dane Cook is not alone in hating the poster for his own movie. It's dumb and ugly. And a Photoshop of Horrors. [People]
• A Kylie and Dannii Minogue duet of an ABBA song is the campiest thing I can think of without picturing Liberace. [The Sun]
• Shania Twain is "progressing" and "working hard" to get over her split from her husband of 14 years. Breakup advice, anyone? [People]
• Janet Jackson's set list for her upcoming tour: Yes, "Nasty" is included. [Perez Hilton]
• "It was fantastic to do that album. Not only live with that music that I love everyday, but I just worked with such wonderful musicians who are so talented. I would love to do another album. Right now, though, I'd like to focus on developing something to direct."  Scarlett Johansson. [Perez Hilton]
• Jay-Z may use is 40/40 club to take over Las Vegas. [Page Six]
• Adam West, aka Batman, might be on Dancing With The Stars. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton is being sued for not doing enough publicity for a sorority film she was in, National Lampoon's Pledge This! Maybe she was doing them a favor? [AP]
• Now that he's a dad, Clay Aiken is returning to Spamalot, so he can make cash for his baby. The kid's name is Parker Foster Aiken. Unrelated: The pic of Clay makes me shudder. [USA Today]
• Bernie Brillstein, a Hollywood manager and producer, died last week. At a tribute Monday night, Jennifer Aniston, Rob Loew and Kermit The Frog attended. [E!]
• "I hate blogs but I love mine. Cause I can be F-in REAL with people!!!! I wanna make a difference in a good way even if that means speaking my mind. people might take offense to it but whatev. First of all lets address my 'voting" comment- first of all opinions are like (you know whats)-everyone has one. I decided to make a very blunt comment. Notice how i said "I know IIIIII couldn't do it cause I'd be pms-ing and freaking out all the time" ....Honestly I'd LOVE to meet a woman with NO emotional problems....but thats not the point...but its true. LOL Second- Only 54 percent of eligible american voters cast their ballots!!!!!! Half of them are only voting cause its "cool " to vote for so and so...they aren't even up to date on information. I'M personally not up to date on the facts, so I don't wanna make a stupid choice for our country. I WANT to vote but only when I know exactly whats going on. More ppl should think like that. Paris Hilton said "yaaaay go vote cause its cool and hott!!!!" ...SHE WASN'T EVEN REGISTERED. seriously."  Brooke Hogan. [ONTD]

• Okay, let's start here: Before Madonna, Yankee Alex Rodriguez was into a stripper named Monique. [Page Six]
• Now, amid rumors that A-Rod is seeing Madonna, comes news that A-Rod's wife is seeing Lenny Kravitz — who used to date Madonna. Did you know that Leonard co-wrote "Justify My Love"? In any case, this stuff is messy, messy business. [NY Post]
• Wait, wait. Alex and wife Cynthia have split. They are separated. Is Cynthia on a romantic getaway with Lenny Kravitz? "She is not! I know that," Cynthia's mom says. [Daily News]
• This picture of Angelina Jolie in the hospital window showing off her baby bump is sooo clearly not Angelina Jolie. [Just Jared]
• Angie and Brad want at least $15 million for the first shot of them with the newborns. Duh. [NY Post]

• So these "X-rated" letters that Blake Fielder-Civil wrote to some chick who is not Amy Winehouse are pretty harmless, except when they're not. For instance, in one, he says" "Your[sic] a beautiful girl too Lissy, you have such amazing eyes. I can see me licking all my [deleted] off that hot sexy face." Then he goes on to say "I've told Amy about you… and read a bit of one of your letters, it turns her on and she wants to meet ya." I dunno, I wonder if this chick was writing him pornographic stuff to entrap him? It seems very one-sided. [The Sun]
• Is there Will Smith backlash? Are people trying to tear him down with these random Scientology reports? [LA Times]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs reviews Hancock: "As a black kid, you're like why ain't there black superheroes?… They got dog superheroes… I guess they felt like black people wasn't good enough to be superheroes… Shit is changing…Fuck Batman, Superman, Robin with his bitchass, Underdog and the mutt motherfucker. Hancock bitches. Hancock. I feel proud that my kids can go see a superhero that looks like them." [PaulScheer.com]
• The rumors that Diddy is dating singer Cassie persist. They've been swirling for a while and she turned 21 last year. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rose McGowan's rep says Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez are still together – professionally and personally. Plus! Rose will still star in the three movies Rodriguez is working on (Barbarella, Red Sonja and Woman in Chains!). So hmm, where did those reports of their split — and the replacement of Rose with Jessica Alba — come from? [People]
• Michael Lohan is trying to sell his "exclusive story" about fathering Lindsay's secret half sister to the tabloids — because if DNA tests prove he is Ashley Kaufman's dad, he's going to owe a shitload of back child support. Anyway, did you see the kid? Do you think she's a Lohan? [Page Six]
• Shocker: Naomi Campbell threw a tantrum. Although it sounds rather tame. The scene: A party for Jay-Z in London. A partygoer says: "She arrived at the champagne reception and was surprisingly quiet, refusing any alcohol. She looked like she was having a good time and was very calm - until people started to move into the dining area. Naomi clearly thought she would get some dinner, but one of Jay-Z’s people told her she wasn’t invited and couldn’t go in. At first she thought he was joking, but when she realised it was serious she couldn’t believe it. She stormed off screaming and swearing. It was pretty funny to watch." Eh, doesn't sound like she actually threw a fit. In other news, Jay-Z allegedly sent assistants over to get the phone numbers of pretty young ladies at the party. [This Is London]
• Rumer Willis and Brittny Gastineau: Seen vying for Gossip Girl star Chase Crawford's attention. But like, just because he's not into them doesn't mean he's gay, right? [Page Six]
• Forest Whitaker is huge in France. [Page Six]
• Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore are dunzo. He blames the media! "I found the entire speculation and subsequent photographs and intrusions terrifying, and only wish to live as normal a life as possible," he says. Sad face! [Rush & Molloy]
• It's a boy! Matthew McConaughey's unborn surfer will be a dude. [Rush & Molloy]
• The Christie Brinkley divorce trial has begun and Christie says she "heard a lot of new things I didn't know" in the opening and now she needs "some time to let it all absorb." [People]
• Christie's estranged husband hearts online porn. As for the the teenager he was having an affair with, he "showered" her with cash, including a $300,000 "hush money" payout. [Yahoo News]
• The new People magazine cover is a picture of Anne Hathaway with the line: "The Princess & The Con Man." [People]
• Kim Stewart flitted into the VIP area where her "friend" John Mayer was hanging with Jennifer Aniston and Jen had Kim kicked out. Twice. [The Sun]
• As reported in Midweek Madness, Naomi Watts is pregnant. Again. She gave birth 11 months ago. [News.com.au]
• Rapper DMX has been arrested. Again. In Arizona. [Reuters]
• Sarah Larson: Seen having dinner with hot hottie Jason Statham. [Perez Hilton]
• Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Don Cheadle played a poker game where the cash goes to victims of the humanitarian crisis in the Darfur region of Sudan. [E!]
• Lily Allen might quit making music and to A&R at a record label instead. [The Sun]
• Could Heath Ledger really win an Oscar? [CNN]
• Kylie Minogue got an Order of The British Empire from Prince Charles. She went to Buckingham Palace and everything. [BBC News]
• Jack Wagner visited Heather Locklear in the Arizona facility she's in for anxiety and depression. Just like an episode of Melrose Place. [People]
• Madonna's brother got a job with Janice Dickinson. He's gonna design her bedroom — in the house she shares with models for her show The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. [E!]
• A former employee is writing an "explosive" book about Miramax, based on files and tapes of Harvey and Bob Weinstein. Did the brothers make shitty movies on purpose? [Page Six]
• OMG Bruce Lee museum. Yes. Yes! [Reuters]

[New York, June 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[Los Angeles, May 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin]