• When John McCain was asked to comment on Jerome Corsi's work of Obama-hating fiction, McCain told the reporter, "gotta keep your sense of humor." This caused an uproar, so McCain's spokeswoman said he never heard the question. So he's either politically tone deaf or going deaf? Good save. [CNN]
• It's probably because the campaign has more important things to deal with, like convincing right-to-lifers that McCain would, like, totally not pick a pro-choice VP even though he said he would. Pick one! Maybe then they really will stay home. [Politico]
• McCain defended his love of ABBA today by saying his taste in music was stuck back in the sixties when he got shot down. Unfortunately, it turns out ABBA started recording in the seventies. Was this part of the torture technique of the North Vietnamese? [CNN, Attackerman]

• Condi Rice is in the other Georgia, getting them to sign a cease-fire as the Russians continue running around shooting at stuff. [NY Times]
• The Pentagon is making sure troops overseas get absentee ballots for this election. They're doing their part — even though way more deployed troops are donating to Obama than McCain. Are you doing yours to make sure you can vote in November? [CNN, Attackerman]
• And in what might be the strangest news of the day, the conservative Heritage Foundation has admitted that Obama's tax plan will save middle class voters more money than McCain's. They tied themselves up in knots trying to make that sound like a bad thing, but they couldn't quite manage. Watch out for the Four Horsemen this weekend — this is definitely a sign of something. [NY Sun]

MEGAN: Are you ready for another morning of crap?

DAVID: Whoo-hoo!

MEGAN: I text messaged with Moe last night when we were both drunk and now I'm a little hungover, so I'm feeling very nostalgic.

DAVID: Aw, I'm not nearly as pretty as she is.

MEGAN: Neither am I, but it's okay because I made an entire bar of straight men stare at Michael Phelps' cock and thus made every single guy uncomfortably consider his sexuality for a brief moment. I should strive for volume control when I'm drinking, but it was late, the bar was empty and the Olympics were on, so when I went "Oh my God, look at how big his penis is!" everyone in the bar looked at the TV. The bartender might still be laughing. It's a good thing I'm a regular.

DAVID: I would have led the assembled bar patrons in the national anthem if I'd been there. So, does Phelps dress to the left or to the right?

MEGAN: Apparently, according to the embarrassed friend I was with, there's a penis-and-nut restraining strap in competitive swimwear, so it was sort of sticking straight up.

DAVID: Well, then I hope you and everyone there at least saluted or put your hands over your hearts.

MEGAN: I mostly dissolved into drunken giggling because I was drunk and I made a bar of dudes stare at another dude's penis.

DAVID: And you weren't even drinking on P Street were you?

MEGAN: Nope! But all of this was a roundabout way of saying to you "Hey! Look at these shirtless Obama pictures!. I'll wait for a minute while you do.

DAVID: While I do, have you downloaded your own .pdf of "Unfit for Publication" yet? All the cool kids are doing it.

MEGAN: No, I meant to but then I heard it is 40 pages long. And since I wasn't planning on reading the Corsi book unless someone paid me to do so for the purpose of ripping it to shreds, I don't need to read 40 pages about why it sucks and is inaccurate. I already assume that it sucks and is inaccurate. I watched Hillary: The Movie (because someone paid me) and that sucks and was inaccurate.

DAVID: Aw, look at Barry in the ocean. You know, I've really been trying to avoid the Candidate-as-Pin-Up phenomenon, but sometimes it's, um, hard.

MEGAN: I like penis jokes!

DAVID: Who doesn't?

MEGAN: John McCain probably doesn't. He just likes to call his wife a cunt for plastering on her make-up like a trollop.

DAVID: Has anyone seen video of the overenthusiastic handshake that did Cindy's wrist in? A friend of mine who has worked at the local battered women's shelter says that she's heard that kind of excuse for wrist injuries a million times. She thinks McCain was roughing her up. And given his temper and issues with women, I believe it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

MEGAN: Whoa. I never even thought about that. I just thought Cindy was so thin that with her little bird-like wrists it was too easy to sprain but you're right, just pumping a hand up and down, it would be hard to sprain a wrist and even the most enthusiastic hand-shakers usually temper it for a woman.

DAVID: Also in the Telegraph, John Bolton on what we should do about Russia and Georgia. I haven't read the piece yet, but what do you bet his answer involves sending a bunch of other people's kids over there to fight?

MEGAN: No, I don't think there's any oil in Georgia and, like North Korea, the Russians have nukes. I would assume that this would be one of the rare occasions where the neocons talk about the importance of diplomacy and try not to look like the actual foreign policy cowards they are since they only like invading places they're sure they can topple in under a week and where the press isn't going to be able to get good footage of the casualties.

DAVID: How much longer before we can stop calling the neocons "neo-" anything? They've been around for a few years now.

MEGAN: Well, I don't think it's how long they've been around, I think it's to distinguish them from the brand of conservative that isn't quite as reprehensible when it comes to foreign policy. Since we're talking politics, can we please discuss the utter non-brilliance of bringing back the Fairness Doctrine, which far too many Americans think would be a good idea? Because that shit burns me.

DAVID: Oh, you know, this is your chance to educate me on why bringing back the Fairness Doctrine is a bad idea. I can see both sides of the issue and as with any issue where I haven't formed a solid opinion, I think I must not know enough about it yet.

MEGAN: The A Number One Reason it is a bad idea is that it relies on a government agency to decide fairness. And who runs government agencies? Politicians. And what changes periodically? Which party is in power. The Fairness doctrine is a stupid, outdated bullshit concept that government can mandate political speech appropriately. See also: Ken Tomlinson. Want another one of those dudes around telling you what you ought to be hearing?

DAVID: I dunno, at this point I'm willing to cling to anything that means less air-time for Limbaugh. I see your point, though, and I do find it a bit sinister that 30% of the people polled by Rasmussen favor enforced "fairness" in blogging, which is more than I think I could manage. How do they propose to enforce that?

MEGAN: Also, just so's you know, you know who also loves the concept of the fairness doctrine? Right-wing conservatives.

DAVID: But you know, Megan, there's something I want to discuss with you. Remember last year when you guys had a "Jezegay", Ryan? I was, like, so jealous. Can I call myself a Jezegay now?

MEGAN: I don't think you can dub yourself a Jezegay, you must be dubbed as such and that, my friend, is up to the commenters.

DAVID: Tell them that if they'll make me a Jezegay I'll be handing out foot-rubs and free beer all weekend.

• John McCain is in the midst of a two-day sweep through Pennsylvania with former governor Tom Ridge, who was the first-ever Secretary of Homeland Security, igniting speculation that he'll be McCain's choice for the Veep slot. You might as well just take your shoes off now and leave them off until 2012. [CNN, CNN]
• Actually, never mind. Wear whatever shoes you want, bring your water bottles to the airport and don't worry if you're a minority or a Muslim or anything: President Bush says we don't have any problems. [Think Progress]
• Howard Wolfson says Clinton would've won if Edwards had dropped out because of his problem keeping Little Eddie sheathed in his drawers. Only, you know, probably not. But she definitely would've been if Howard had stopped wearing that ugly sweater. [Newser, HuffPo]

• Clinton will headline the Democratic National Convention on Tuesday night — the 88th Anniversary of women receiving the right to vote. That means, if you didn't know, she won't be the VP nominee. [Washington Post]
• The Russians are dividing and conquering Georgia pretty effectively today. That part where they said they wouldn't enter Georgia territory? A total lie, of course. [Associated Press]
• The FBI was reading the emails of reporters for the Washington Post and New York Times without warrants or probably cause or anything. Luckily, mine are so boring the FBI wouldn't bother. [Washington Independent]
• That Preppie Killer guy is headed back to prison for dealing coke because [cue world's smallest violins] he couldn't find a way to support himself after he got out of prison for killing a woman. [CNN]

MEGAN: Morning! Shall we get right down to analyzing the whole Edwards debacle?

SPENCER: I just wanted to say I went an entire weekend without fathering any illegitimate children OR vindicating Mickey Kaus.

MEGAN: Hey, and I haven't gotten knocked up either, so, congrats to both of us!

SPENCER: But this changes nothing. Mickey Kaus, now and forever, snacks on goat penis.

MEGAN: Well, I mean, he said it was really tasty.

SPENCER: So, you said in your post Friday that Edwards can't be Attorney General, which disappoints me tremendously. Do you think Elizabeth can launch her own political career? She's in remission, right?

MEGAN: Actually, I don't think she's in remission. She's incurable, so it's still going, sadly. I would've rather have seen Elizabeth's stellar political career. Rewind? I mean, the biggest problem is that paternity isn't going to be resolved. Rielle's not going to allow a DNA test, so everyone will continue to suspect it's his kid as I already do.

SPENCER: You saw her dKos diary, yeah? She wrote this like a pro:

John has spoken in a long on-camera interview I hope you watch. Admitting one’s mistakes is a hard thing for anyone to do, and I am proud of the courage John showed by his honesty in the face of shame.

I started singing the Ramones' "Swallow My Pride" to myself when I read this. and also "Swallow Goat Cock" By Kaus and the Goatees.

MEGAN: Which, I'm sorry, totally negates the whole "I asked her not to come on camera" bullshit Edwards pulled on Friday to appeal to us ladies.

SPENCER: He did what now?

MEGAN: On Friday, in his interview, Edwards told Woodruff that he not only didn't ask Elizabeth to appear with him but asked her not to, in effect saying he didn't want to be Spitzer, McGreevey or Craig, getting lambasted for having his wife by his side while admitting to this shit. BUT he had her talk to Bob Schieffer on the phone (sobbing, according to Schieffer) to confirm the 2006 version of events and then she did the thing on Kos.

So, I'm sorry, we don't have the visual, but I don't think he's a better guy. Also, as I said in my piece on Friday, I think he's lying on the timing and nothing I've read since does anything to disabuse me of that notion.

SPENCER: Well shit. But here's something else: in liberal circles in 2007, the drunken chatter was that Edwards didn't want to run for president, but Elizabeth, facing the clarifying prospect of her own mortality, wanted him to. Sounded plausible at the time! He had no chance of getting the nomination as soon as Obama jumped in, and possibly none before. But but but but BUT how could Elizabeth have known he slept with Rielle Hunter and then said "Fuck it, Johnny. You should still be president!"

MEGAN: I'm guessing that was just a story he put out there to look like less of a shitty husband for continuing to run while his wife had cancer. I'm sure she was supportive, but there was no firm indication that she'd live until the 2009 Inauguration when she was first diagnosed.

So, maybe seeing him as President was her semi-dying wish, maybe she'd internalized his desires to that degree that she thought it was, but it sounds to me like a pretty campaign fairy tale intended to make us believe in the John-and-Liz as a team thing. Anyway, back to why I'm sticking by my suspicions that he's still lying: Sam Stein thinks he is, too, and he's got even more evidence about when John and Rielle met, and when she got hired. And the Updated Newsweek story about how Rielle was indeed still going around claiming to be having an affair with someone the reporter knew (which, he didn't know Andrew Young) in January, which is the blind item Page Six had in January 06 as well.

SPENCER: Here's where I get exhausted with the story. OK OK he fucked her, might have fathered an illegitimate child, career's come to an end, it's DONE right? Does it matter if he's lying to the public if he's not going to be a public official anymore? At what point do we say enough, he's out of politics. I say right now!

MEGAN: Oh, you know me, I'm the type of person who hates to let that shit go. But on to new topics, then! Like the leaked Clintonian emails. Damn, I hate when shit makes Mark Penn look less incredibly wrong. Can't we just stick to mocking the chapter of his book about appealing to American snipers?

SPENCER: Let's chew on this a moment:

Penn, the presidential campaign’s chief strategist, wrote in a memo to Clinton excerpted in the article: “I cannot imagine America electing a president during a time of war who is not at his center fundamentally American in his thinking and in his values.”

MEGAN: George Bush in 08?

SPENCER: ... and so begins the header on a million GOP/McCain fundraising emails.

MEGAN: I mean, really, at this point, Penn ought to be getting fucking royalties from McCain's campaign.

SPENCER: so, congratulations, black people! Remember how you thought whites don't see you as American? Mark Penn just confirmed it. You are officially off the hook for the Iraq war.

MEGAN: Wait, according to Virginia Congressman Jim Moran it was all the Jews' fault anyway.

SPENCER: I'm curious to see in Josh's story what the Clinton machine's reaction to that memo was — whether that launched the Wright-based whisper campaign or whether the Clintonites rejected it. Yeah yeah that shit. But really — if that memo was ignored/repudiated, it's one thing. If it was ACTED UPON that is quite another.

MEGAN: Do you think that whether the Clintonistas put the Obama in Somali gear photo out there will be in there?

SPENCER: Mike "who's your celebrity crush" Allen says the Penn memo was 3/30/08 so I think that post-date Somalibama but NOT some of the Wright stuff.

MEGAN: I think this much was acted upon:

Every speech should contain the line you were born in the middle of America American to the middle class in the middle of the last century. And talk about the basic bargain as about the deeply American values you grew up with, learned as a child and that drive you today. Values of fairness, compassion, responsibility, giving back

Which, really, means Penn should pay royalties to Karl Rove.

SPENCER: Except Rove wins elections
MEGAN: What his lackeys will do with John McCain is another question.

SPENCER: ... ok back to Edwards for one second: can he really not be attorney general? He had such balls! He was going to be the leftwing John Ashcroft, fucking with the right just to fuck with them! The mailed fist in Obama's politics-of-hope-and-reconciliation velvet glove? Really? I have to give up the dream? The dream of indictments for torture and rendition and US attorney firings and warrantless surveillance? What if he just says the kid is mine? The Democrats are going to have 57 fucking Senate seats!

MEGAN: I really don't think he can be. Can you imagine those confirmation hearings? Especially if it turns out he was still lying? If he used donor money to pay his mistress (let alone hush up his mistress)? Did you check the Baron angle — that's Edwards' finance chair who paid both Rielle and Andrew Young and his wife and kids to get the fuck out of North Carolina but says he didn't get the money from Edwards or the campaign? Oh, right, and this:

The associate, who asked not to be identified, said Mr. Young has privately made conflicting statements about the extent of his relationship with Ms. Hunter and whether he is the child’s father.

Like, all of that, up for review, in the confirmation hearing for the guy who's supposed to play gotcha with the Bushies? I think you need to get yourself a new legal pitbull, as do I.

SPENCER: BUT GODDAMN IT i need to see someone go to jail on this shit. I guess if you're Obama you want to be light years away from Edwards' cocktrouble, but if he doesn't appoint a real left-wing SOB for AG I will be sorely disappointed. Now I feel fucked by John Edwards. Hopefully I remain unpregnant.

MEGAN: Well, how much would you sorta like to see, um, Bill Clinton in that role. If the Dems get 60 in the Senate.

SPENCER: Well, not if he acquiesced to that Penn memo!

MEGAN: Can you imagine Bill Clinton with subpoena power? His bar membership's been reinstated.

SPENCER: and that's a confirmation hearing you relish?

MEGAN: Hey, I said if they get to 60.

SPENCER: actually on second thought, it would be awesome to see Clinton-as-pugilist putting it back on, say, Inhofe or Sessions.

MEGAN: I'm just enjoying the thought of Bill Clinton with the power to investigate the dirty laundry of those that investigated his blowjobs, because you know there is worse than a couple of intern beejes going on in Washington.

SPENCER: But speaking of going back: the right-wing veterans organization Vets For Freedom are sending right-wing Iraq vets to embed in Iraq. and you know what? I have absolutely no problem with this.

MEGAN: Really? That the Weekly Standard and the National Review are putting a bunch of right-wing non-jouno partisan hacks on the masthead for the purpose of war promotion and we're footing the bill? Please explain.

SPENCER: That "we're footing the bill" bullshit applies to ALL EMBEDS.

MEGAN: Yes, which I'm fine with when their stated purpose is not to promote the war and elect John McCain.

SPENCER: Like, you paid for my trip to Baghdad & Mosul last year, and I reported from a liberal perspective. That's structurally indistinguishable from what the VFF ppl are doing.

MEGAN: Except you're an actual reporter.

SPENCER: It's not something the Pentagon is in the business of stopping. You'd rather not live in a world where the Pentagon starts deciding who is and who isn't a reporter.

MEGAN: No, you're right, I just wonder why the WS and the NR can't find actual reporters to go. Is there a word for that?

SPENCER: A bunch of antiwar bloggers have embedded as well. The embed program is open, and in terms of the "harm" they do, only the 27 Percenters who still back Bush would read this shit anyway.

MEGAN: Chiiiickenhawk or something?

SPENCER: No, I doubt that, I just think the Standard & NRO know a gimmick when they see one, and think that it'll be harder for leftwing antiwarriors to attack pieces written by vets. and to that, I must quote Beyonce: "they must not know 'bout me, they must not know 'bout me." but, look, you know, the game is the game, and let's see how they play it.

MEGAN: I am happy to attack pieces written by vets. Heck, I've gotten into no less than two ugly political arguments with veteran friends of mine and finally threw up my hands and said, "If you want to buy what they're selling, rationality and actual facts aren't going to convince you, so don't ever ask me questions again."

SPENCER: Also, speaking of BALLING, everybody note that my roommate and homie Matt Yglesias launched his new ThinkProgress blog today!

MEGAN: Congrats to him! Should we talk about that little war thing that started this weekend? I hear, by the way, that anything good about Russian cuisine comes from Georgia.

SPENCER: I dunno. I make a kickass borscht.

MEGAN: Georgian wine is definitely better, not that it's not virtually impossible to come by here.

SPENCER: So yeah while I was driving for an internet-free weekend in State College, PA Russia attacked Georgia or something? I should know about this shit so enlighten me.

MEGAN: Well, so, Georgia went into the disputed territory of South Ossetia where the citizens apparently want to go back to being Russian, so the Russians moved in. And because they're the Russian military, they routed the Georgians. Now they're bombing the capital of Tbilisi and sending ground forces to Gori, which is in Georgia proper, about which one diplomat said, "They seem to have gone beyond the logical stopping point."

SPENCER: Also LOL my friend Benny's band is on the cover of the new Kerrang!

MEGAN: Man, your friends are sort of kicking ass today. They're like the Russians of pop culture.

SPENCER: Yeah so that sucks and we should set to work on the diplomatic course of getting the UN Security Council to turn back the invasion and restore the status quo ante.

MEGAN: Yeah, that's sort of what the Georgians think only you know who sits on the Security Council?

SPENCER: Yeah yeah.

MEGAN: That's why the UN has been so effective in Chechnya. And you know we aren't going to do it because Bush is hard at work at the Summer Olympics and he's seen into Putin's soul.

SPENCER: You know what sets a really bad precedent? Invading other countries while circumventing the UN Security Council. I mean call me crazy!
MEGAN: Well, right, and that. The Security Council basically functions as a rubber stamp for the foreign policies of its members.

SPENCER: Next he'll look into Rielle Hunter's vagina.

There is no upside to this story, so I will continue to list the gritty details. According to Amnesty International, "The Russian Federation does not have a specific law on violence in the family," and NPR reports that for the police to intervene in a domestic violence situation, the injury has to be so grave as to "prevent you from work for two weeks."

Number of women's shelters in Moscow: 0. Number of beds in the nearest women's shelter to Moscow: 7. Because housing is so expensive in Russia, many women, like one of the women interviewed by NPR, have to go back to living with their murderous ex-husbands because they can't afford to go anywhere else. Amnesty International tells almost the identical story, one of a woman named "Anna."

In December 2003, after her husband had threatened to set her on fire, Anna finally decided to file for a divorce. Incensed at her action, her husband destroyed the family’s possessions, including dishes and clothes. In March 2004, a week after the couple had been officially divorced, she returned with her older son to the flat, as she had nowhere else to go. Her ex-husband told her that he did not recognize the divorce and that he was going to have sex with her. During the incurring argument he doused her with inflammable liquid and tried to set her alight. While Anna had witnesses who could confirm what had happened, the police told her they could not do anything, because he "had not committed a crime". According to Anna, the police did not pay attention to the fact that he had a lighter nor did they check her coat which was soaked in the liquid.

Some Russian women, like pop star Valeria, have started to speak out against the endemic violence in their country, but silence on the matter still seems to reign. To send money to Amnesty International, click here.

Domestic Violence A Silent Crisis In Russia [NPR]
Russian Federation: Nowhere To Turn To: Violence Against Women In The Family [Amnesty International]
Domestic Violence: Russian Women Speak Out [BBC News]

MEGAN: So, you want to talk Lebanon for a second? Also, are my eyes deceiving me or is the guy in that picture carrying his big machine gun with an arm that is no longer attached to a hand? And is that a statement on how intractable this conflict is that even people who have lost limbs in it and can't afford prosthetics just learn how to fire big ass guns with their stumps?
SPENCER: hezbollah has the most extensive social-service network in lebanon
it would hardly surprise me that an amputee, grateful for hezb's help after, say, an israeli artillery barrage decimated his home in tyre in summer 06, would grip up and help hezbollah seize beirut
those shiite militia groups are really good at hearts and minds
MEGAN: And, yet, reportedly, not great husbands. Probably also shit boyfriends. Anyway, so, moving on, how exciting it that, for the first time since the Cold War, Russia has decided to put its armory on display for a big political event! Political rallies: not just for goosestepping anymore!
SPENCER: wait wait why move on?
i don't do russia
my friends chris and rania are reporters in beirut
i turn to them for my lebanon news
but those assholes had to be in dubai when the shit went down
so, sigh
MEGAN: Except for the whole "it's safer in Dubai" thing.
SPENCER: ok now we can move on. what do you think of this russia stuff?
MEGAN: I think the new guy is cute except for the way that Putin's constantly elbow-deep in his ass to make him talk. That's a little off-putting.
SPENCER: did Putin work something out where he'll be prime minister or something after Medevedevedev becomes president? Or am I confused?
MEGAN: You're not confused, and he is PM right now, Meddie was inaugurated earlier this week as Pres and Pooty-Poot as PM (and, yes, I did watch Lil Bush last night, the second season is hilariously good).
Also, I'm sort of out of things to say on Russia unless the time I recount trying to negotiate with their guy on what should've been to them a relatively minor point in their WTO accession package when I was a lobbyist. It was minor to them, it was major to my industry and we were going to oppose the finalization of any agreement without them giving us something and the dude was super happy to talk to me about it because he wanted to stare at my tits. When he realized that I knew what I was talking about, he decided he didn't speak English and walked away, and the guy from the embassy just smiled at me with embarrassment.
SPENCER: the only point i can add about russia
yesterday at the bar a journo friend told me that the FBI got in touch with him
because they're "concerned" about a russian he MIGHT have come in contact with
MEGAN: I know something that will excite you to talk about though... the Pakistanis and Jay Hood.
SPENCER: he was commander of JTF-GTMO when i was there on a visit in 2005
MEGAN: Well, and the Pakistanis for some crazy reason don't want him in their country...
SPENCER: i mean
who was the genius that decided it would be a good idea to send the ex-commander of an island prison for muslims to the most volatile and restive muslim country on the planet
hood is not the problem
if you want a real military villain for gtmo, look no further than Maj. Gen. Geoffrey Miller
miller is more Legacy of Brutality than the fucking Misfits
MEGAN: I mean, is anyone involved in Gitmo, like, good?
SPENCER: he's the guy who told ricardo sanchez the most fateful mixed-message in the war on terror: "Gitmo-ize" Abu Ghraib, and here's how we do it over there, but oh by the way, we don't have to follow the Geneva Conventions and you do
kthxbai wink wink
the Navy guards who walk the blocks, they're good
those guys are like 18 yrs old and have to deal with detainees throwing shit-blood-puke cocktails at them
this one guard in 2005, she told me, you wouldn't believe what i go through to wash that out of my hair
MEGAN: Yeah, that sucks, it doesn't seem like it's their fault.
SPENCER: no more than it's the fault of the bank teller for your house going into forclosure
MEGAN: Not my house! I'm still solvent! Knocking wood furiously right now.
SPENCER: one quick gtmo story:
this one soldier who was my minder at the base was given liberty to get drunk with us at the officers club — and omfg is gtmo a weird but awesome place to get shitfaced — started to get rowdy when he learned that i had been to his favorite montreal strip club
"fuck yeah! you're my BOY!"
yelling at the top of his lungs at 3 am
then he quit the army and ran for congress in pennsylvania. true story.
MEGAN: Why have you been to a strip club in Montreal? Also, who has a favorite strip club in Montreal?
SPENCER: club supersex
it rules, that's why
me and my friends went there for the millenium & liked it so much we went the next year
the next new year's that is
btw
great job not talking about the primary!
after yesterday's comment-thread disaster
MEGAN: Like, how big of a strip-club afficianado do you have to be to have picked out a favorite?
SPENCER: i think when you go to supersex there really is no close second
unless you count the lusty lady in SF which i hear is kickass and feminist but i've never been
my friend's exgf used to dance there
christ she was hot
MEGAN: You and I are pretty much going to disagree on the greatness of strip clubs.
I'm not deliberately ignoring, but, like what's happened in the last 24 hours? Clinton's still not getting out, Obama's ignoring that, McCain's still walking around being McCain. And Clinton doesn't have that much money right now.
SPENCER: did you see mccain's ad with his mom?
it's eerie how he looks older than his mother
MEGAN: I think that's just makeup. I saw his mother at the White House Correspondents Dinner. She looked old.
Oh, and Arianna Huffington says that McCain didn't vote for Bush in 2000, or he told a bunch of Hollywood types he didn't but he says she's full of shit.
SPENCER: i happen to know but only in an off the record way that arianna is right
MEGAN: I'm sure she's right, I just think it's funny that she's the only one out campaigning against McCain right now, and is less likely to be believed by the people she's trying to convince than even the other candidates.
SPENCER: you would have to be a saint to vote for the man who called racists in south carolina to say you fathered a black baby with a prostitute
or have no self-respect
MEGAN: Yeah, and McCain's no saint and he definitely has plenty of ego to go around.

When the pageant first started, over fifteen years ago, the inmates had no supplies. The winner made her dress out of plastic bags from the prison kitchen. Now the women are allowed to use hairspray, lipstick, nail polish — stuff not usually allowed in the prison. The pageant is the subject of a BBC Two special program which airs tonight. There's something poignant about incarcerated women getting to feel special — even if just for one day. But these women are criminals. And does the pageant emphasize the sexist idea that a woman is only valuable if she is pretty? Or is it worth it to have a much-needed bright spot in a drab, imprisoned Siberian existence?

Siberian Prison's Beauty Pageant [BBC]

Ms. Applebaum points out that model Natalia Vodianova, who was born in Russia and has been a Vogue cover girl, would not have had the opportunity to be the face of Calvin Klein (and move away from her mother's abusive boyfriends) in the USSR before 1989. But, points out the Free Exchange writer, clearly Vodianova had parents, so her "superior" DNA was there whether she had access to makeup or not. In other words, eff makeup, eff Vogue.

But there is one thing Russian women can thank us for: Lung cancer and drug addiction. The number of Russian females smoking cigarettes went from 7% in 1992 to almost 15% by 2003, reports UPI. Dr. Anna Gilmore from the University of Bath says, "The fact that the transnational tobacco companies have managed to drive up male smoking rates from already high levels is incredibly alarming — there is already a major demographic crisis in Russia and smoking, which already accounts for nearly half of male deaths." Deaths of Russian women from smoking are not quite as high but females will "catch up fast," Dr. Gilmore warns. Vogue, Revlon & R.J. Reynolds: Isn't globalization great?

Where Did All Those Gorgeous Russians Come From? [Slate]
The Market For Beauty And Other Excellences [The Economist]
Russian women smokers have doubled [UPI]

• Al "I'm The Man Who Was Elected President, But Whatever I'm A Movie Star Now" Gore has "fallen out of love" with politics, he says. And thus will not be running for president... again. If this is true, what a drama queen! If this isn't true, what an even bigger drama queen! Simmer down, Al! (And if you need some help with that, we're sure your son has some pills that could help.) [CNN]
  
• We [heart] brave kittens. Especially when they're better swimmers than we'll ever be. [ABCNews]
  
• The list of that D.C. madam's hooker-hiring politicians goes public! God, this is going to be more entertaining to watch than an America's Next Top Model. [The Smoking Gun]
  
• Taking "til death do us part" to a whole other level, a Welsh couple commit joint suicide after finding out that the husband had only a few weeks to live. In their suicide notes, they said they knew they could not live without one another. Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro: You guys are jokes. [Daily Mail UK]

• Our mother always told us that swimming pools were scary places. And just now had we mustered up the strength to buy our first-ever bathing suit in attempt to get over our fears. Then we read this. Bathing suit: Now in a drawer forever. [ABCNews]
• MTV has ordered a 4th season of Laguna Beach. What's that sound? Oh yes, our souls shattering. [Star]
• Good news for Russia: You're all over the runways! Bad news for Russia: It's looking more and more like you poison your own kind. [NYT]
• DailyCandy-ites rejoice: Sex and the City: The Movie is going to happen, at last. [E!]
• 6 U.S. casualties identified. [DoD]

Probably not such a mystery when it comes to these gals, The Big Ballet troupe of Russia, average weight: 252lb.

Yup, they're big, they're beautiful and they're ballet dancers. Currently touring the UK, these girls love their food so much, their manager had to hire a catering van to accompany them from venue to venue.

In our dreams, we kidnap Victoria Beckham and force her to watch the Big Ballet troupe perform over and over again, while we forcefeed her two daily raisins instead of one. Bitch will have nightmares for years.

[Big Ballet Troupe Tours the UK] The Sun