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crappy hour
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Russia
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crappy hour
Princess Cold War
For years now, Moscow's clubbers have suffered under the harsh authoritarian rule of Pasha Face-Kontrol, who lords over Moscow's elite clubbing scene with all of the arbitrariness and cruelty of a Byzantine despot. Er, that is, a very metrosexual Byzantine despot. Meet Pasha Face Kontrol, a Russian nightclub doorman who has become the sort of celebrity I would totally hate on principle if it were in America but because he's safely in Moscow and I don't have to know about him from the same sources that brought me Moment of Truth, I'm totally obsessed. Pasha was a doorman at a club called Diaglev Project who came to notoriety via his rigorous standards for "Face Kontrol" — what it sounds like, duh — had several techno songs dedicated to him and turned one local clubgoer Alyona "Barbie" into folk hero for scratching him in the face. Then the club burned down. A reality show could be the only possible next move...
leftovers
Scandinavians Split On Sexist Ads • Beaver Goes On Russian Booze Rampage
Scandinavian countries spar over, defend sexist advertising and free speech laws. • Pregnant Indian women more likely to have morning sickness than Norwegians. • My Little Pony celebrates 25th birthday with tea and Elizabeth Hasselbeck. • Smart girls supposedly have a harder time getting off because, um, they think about stuff? • A 15-year-old Canadian boy steals bikinis, wears them. • Alarmed Russian beaver breaks into food store, smashes vodka bottles following forest fire. • Minorities and men are less likely to get help quitting smoking. • A Moroccan woman kills her husband after he takes a second wife. • Women who have C-sections are more likely to suffer a stroke the following year.
Ad Libs
New billboards for Damskaya, a Russian Vodka aimed at women, (which we've written about before) have hit the metro stations in Moscow. The tagline, "Between us girls," is meant to lure chicks to the booze, because, says Natalya Shumilina, marketing director of the distillery, "In Russia, vodka is definitely a masculine product." But Gennady Onishchenko, Russia's surgeon general, is not pleased. "Most likely, the next step will be infant's vodka for infant consumption," he says. He thinks Russia's consumer protection agency should look into filing charges against the Vodka's distillery for violating consumer rights laws. But here's question: How do we feel about the Marilyn Monroe upskirt shot? [NY Times]
A new kind of "ladies" vodka called Damskaya is being marketed to women in Russia, and according to Reuters, it's "designed to be sipped with salad after a workout in the gym." Damskaya was invented by Igor Volodin, who says, "Women need a drink of their own... In Moscow, there are pink taxis for ladies, there are light cigarettes," he said. "But there was no vodka, and we asked ourselves: 'Why?'" Not everyone is enamored with this new product, particularly Yuri Sorokin, a psychologist who runs a rehab clinic in Moscow. 60% of his alcoholic patients are women, and many are the wives of millionaires. Sorokin said to Reuters, "I believe that female alcoholism is a huge problem in Russia. I believe it is as huge and hidden as the underwater part of an iceberg." [Reuters]
foreign affairs
Siberian Inmates Compete For Prettiest Prisoner
"A woman should always be beautiful," says Natalya Khapova, 26 (pictured at left). "Not just outside the fence. Even if she's in here, she should show her beauty. A woman is everything gentle and wonderful - or she should be." The "fence" Khapova speaks of? The one separating her from the population at large. See, Khapova has six-and-a-half years left of her eight-year sentence for assault. She lives in an all-women's prison. In Siberia. Since 1990, the jail has an annual beauty pageant with its own rules and three categories: Greek Goddesses, Flower Gowns and "Imaginary Uniforms," which lets inmates design their ideal prison getups. Guards and unit chiefs judge the contestants on their appearance and creativity, crowning the winner "Miss Spring." Runners-up are "Miss Charm" and "Miss Grace". Russia has 35 women's prisons and the female incarceration rate is almost five times as high as Britain's. Half of the women at UF 91/9 are doing time for narcotics. Does that mean it's OK for them to play dress-up? More »
Tough Stuff
The striking young woman at left is the late Anna Loginova, a 29-year-old Russian bodyguard who died trying to prevent her Porsche from being carjacked. Loginova worked for wealthy, high-profile Russian clients and believed her gender was an asset to doing her job: "Many restaurants now do not allow a guard inside," she once said. "You can take a female bodyguard inside, she will sit down at the table and nobody would guess that she's a weapon herself — and can react appropriately in any dangerous situation." When a thief tried to steal her car, Loginova clung to the door handle and ended up being dragged through the streets of Moscow at high speeds as the driver tried to get away. She suffered serious injuries and died on the scene. [Daily Mail]
The striking young woman at left is the late Anna Loginova, a 29-year-old Russian bodyguard who died trying to prevent her Porsche from being carjacked. Loginova worked for wealthy, high-profile Russian clients and believed her gender was an asset to doing her job: "Many restaurants now do not allow a guard inside," she once said. "You can take a female bodyguard inside, she will sit down at the table and nobody would guess that she's a weapon herself — and can react appropriately in any dangerous situation." When a thief tried to steal her car, Loginova clung to the door handle and ended up being dragged through the streets of Moscow at high speeds as the driver tried to get away. She suffered serious injuries and died on the scene. [Daily Mail]
foreign affairs
Glasnost, Not Genetics, Made Russian Women Beautiful
Over on Slate yesterday, Anne Applebaum decided to pose the question, "Where Did All Those Gorgeous Russians Come From?" and then offer an answer: The collapse of the Soviet Union ushered in an era of makeup and Vogue, and, consequently, attractive Russian women! This is a notion of course, that is completely preposterous, perhaps a joke, and subject of a rebuttal on the site of The Economist today, which calls bullshit on Ms. Applebaum's theory. A writer on the magazine's Free Exchange blog says: "I agree that improved access to the means of aesthetic enhancement will generally lead to enhanced aesthetics, but I'd like to think I'd notice a towering Siberian goddess with or without spike-heeled boots and a layer of L'Oreal." Indeed! More »
Fashion Victims
Fur sales are up! And the world's cold-weather mammals can thank the citizens of China and Russia for the disturbing development. (Maybe it was that Fendi show on the Great Wall back in October?) But before us environment and animal-loving types condemn two nations with a combined population of 1.5 billion, did you know that wearing the pelts of mammals such as mink, sable and chinchilla is the new way to "go green"? Says Keith Kaplan of the Fur Information Council of America (check out his "12 Days of Christmas... In Fur Style!"): "Fur is the grand-daddy of green. It comes from a renewable, sustainable resource. There is very little pollution involved in the production of it and it is biodegradeable." One question: If mink farmers have to electrocute the animals internally in order to "leave their pelts intact", doesn't the use of that electricity count as carbon emission? [Times Of London]
Fur sales are up! And the world's cold-weather mammals can thank the citizens of China and Russia for the disturbing development. (Maybe it was that Fendi show on the Great Wall back in October?) But before us environment and animal-loving types condemn two nations with a combined population of 1.5 billion, did you know that wearing the pelts of mammals such as mink, sable and chinchilla is the new way to "go green"? Says Keith Kaplan of the Fur Information Council of America (check out his "12 Days of Christmas... In Fur Style!"): "Fur is the grand-daddy of green. It comes from a renewable, sustainable resource. There is very little pollution involved in the production of it and it is biodegradeable." One question: If mink farmers have to electrocute the animals internally in order to "leave their pelts intact", doesn't the use of that electricity count as carbon emission? [Times Of London]
Spurred by Russia's influx of new money, big business, and conspicuous consumption, the celebrity-sartorial complex is setting its sights on the souls of the country's children. The Telegraph is reporting that Moscow's major department store, TsUM, is under fire for displaying advertisements targeted at schoolgirls that read: 'If You Don't Wear Prada, You're A Reject'. Says the Telegraph: "In a series of cartoons, a girl of about six is shown sneering at the childish pleasures of life. One shows her turning her back on her teddy bear and toy bunny, saying: 'I don't need you two any more. Now all I'm interested in is clothes.' In another she tells the unhappy bear: 'You are unfashionable! Farewell!'" [Telegraph]
we'll take redbook over little red books any day
Fascism And Communism Are Bad For Fucking
Russia is full of cheap vodka and girls who look like Natalia Vodianova so fuck if I can understand why they need Hitler Youth type sex camps to get laid. This is fresh on the heels of the condom industry's discovery that the average Chinese loses his or her virginity at 22, so maybe it's a creeping sphere-of-influence thing. Anyway, Vladimir Putin is behind a scary new eugenics-y sex campaign because no one in his increasingly facist country is procreating, which reminded us that scary ideology is not sexy, even when it is being worn by Cameron Diaz, which is why we're using her as our picture, because we think it would be nice if you agreed with us and also, that "The Revolution Will Be Accessorized" is the most obnoxious tag line ever.Sex For The Motherland [Daily Mail]
end of days
Al Gore Not Running For President, Son In Rehab: Coincidence? We Think Not
- Al "I'm The Man Who Was Elected President, But Whatever I'm A Movie Star Now" Gore has "fallen out of love" with politics, he says. And thus will not be running for president... again. If this is true, what a drama queen! If this isn't true, what an even bigger drama queen! Simmer down, Al! (And if you need some help with that, we're sure your son has some pills that could help.) [CNN]
- We [heart] brave kittens. Especially when they're better swimmers than we'll ever be. [ABCNews]
- The list of that D.C. madam's hooker-hiring politicians goes public! God, this is going to be more entertaining to watch than an America's Next Top Model. [The Smoking Gun]
- Taking "til death do us part" to a whole other level, a Welsh couple commit joint suicide after finding out that the husband had only a few weeks to live. In their suicide notes, they said they knew they could not live without one another. Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro: You guys are jokes. [Daily Mail UK]
dance
