Did Vladimir Putin 'Go Missing' So He Could Have Plastic Surgery?

Russian President and hairless, scowling badger Vladimir Putin has reappeared in public, after a 10-day absence and a string of public appearance cancellations. During his mysterious unannounced sabbatical, rumors swirled that he was sick, or dead, or attending the birth of another secret baby with his very-not-secret… » 3/16/15 1:00pm 3/16/15 1:00pm

Sasha Grey Is Not a Murdered Battle Nurse in the Ukraine

Former porn star Sasha Grey would just like to make sure we're all clear on the fact that she's not dead. Contrary to the reports of some dicey-looking Internet memes, she also wasn't working as a nurse for the Russian Army, and has never—not even once—been captured by Ukrainian soldiers and then brutally murdered.… » 2/18/15 4:30pm 2/18/15 4:30pm

Woman Fractures Legs Repeatedly in Order to Become 6-Foot-Tall Model

Alexandra Transer is a 30-year-old Russian woman who dreams of becoming a model. Told by agents that 5'4 was too short, she's undergoing a series of surgeries that will make her taller. But model-quality beauty doesn't come without pain: Raw Story reports that the procedure includes both fracturing and stretching her… » 2/13/15 1:10pm 2/13/15 1:10pm

Russians None Too Pleased With the 'Leningrad Blockade Diet' 

Today is the 71st anniversary of the end of the years-long siege of Leningrad, one of many horrible chapters from the book of horrors that was World War II. And some Russian Facebook diet blogger thought encouraging everyone to diet like the Nazis had just cut their food supplies would be a good commemoration. Many of… » 1/27/15 4:50pm 1/27/15 4:50pm

Russian Orthodox Christians Want a Total Ban on Abortion and IUDs

Orthodox Christian lawmakers in Russia passed a resolution this week during a meeting at Moscow's Christ the Savior Cathedral, saying they'll push for a change to the country's Constitution that will state that "life begins at the moment of conception," paving the way for a ban on abortion, emergency contraception and… » 11/18/14 11:45am 11/18/14 11:45am

Vladimir Putin Got a Little Too Cozy With the First Lady of China

Let me ask you something: What would you do if suddenly, unexpectedly, you found the arms of terrifying gun-toting, chest-bearing Russian president Vladimir Putin wrapping a shawl around your shoulders? Think fast! Because that's the position Chinese first lady Peng Liyuan recently found herself in. » 11/11/14 4:45pm 11/11/14 4:45pm

Grave Robber Digs Up Dozens of Dead Girls, Turns Bodies Into Dolls

Just in case you were having a pleasant day and needed to be reminded that basically everything in the world is terrible and that life is a meaningless void from which none of us are able to truly escape, here's a story about a man who dug up dead girls, turned them into dolls and stuck music boxes into their ribcages. » 10/30/14 1:10pm 10/30/14 1:10pm

Don't Ask This Russian Cosmonaut About Her Damn Hair

It's not just female politicians and CEOs—even cosmonauts can't escape questions about their stupid hair. (In space, no one can hear your misandrist screams.) Just ask Yelena Serova, who as of Thursday is the the fourth Russian woman in space. The media really wants to know about how she'll care for her tresses. » 9/26/14 2:00pm 9/26/14 2:00pm

Crimea Doesn't Need Gay People, Says De Facto Crimean Leader

Joining the ranks of other despotic leaders, the Kremlin's man on the Crimean peninsula has basically informed sexual minorities in Crimea they are "not needed," have "no chance" of being themselves and any public gathering by the queer community will be put down with police and military force. » 9/02/14 11:20pm 9/02/14 11:20pm

​Russian Bank Will Send a Cat To Your House if You Sign a Mortgage

One of Russia's largest banks has caught onto the global phenomenon (soon to be dictatorship) that is cats. In a new marketing scheme, Moscow-based Sberbank promises to send a cat over to your house for a couple hours if you sign a mortgage with them. That's right. They'll lend you some money, and then they'll lend… » 8/31/14 3:36pm 8/31/14 3:36pm

President Obama Wears the Ugliest Effing Suit America Has Ever Seen

President Obama is having a rough time— Isis beheading a journalist, Ferguson, Mo.'s shit show, Israel vs. Palestine, Russia invading the Ukraine, displaced immigrant children and bombing in Libya— but let’s talk about his suit. Yesterday, the POTUS wore a tan ensemble during a conference that was reportedly… » 8/29/14 11:30am 8/29/14 11:30am