Posh Spice In Plane Panic!

• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham was on a plane with kids Romeo and Cruz when a bird flew into one the of the aircraft's engines right before take-off. According to The Sun, "Passengers screamed as the pilot slammed on the brakes and the plane screeched to a halt. It was then that the horrifying scale of the disaster really hit home for Victoria — she realised she was wearing standard-issue aircraft pyjamas and no make-up." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse hit her own damn bodyguard. Get a grip, girl! [The Sun]
• And here's a man who says Amy Winehouse punched him in the face three times at a pub. Is this new news? It's so hard to tell. [The Sun]
• Jamie Lynn Spears and new baby! Picture! [ONTD, via OK!]
• Is Mary-Kate Olsen heading back to rehab? Midweek Madness will have more on this later. [Star]

Kimora Lee Simmons Is Not Going To Let Russell Be Another Deadbeat Dad

• Russell Simmons is forking over $20,000 per daughter in child support to Kimora Lee, which seems about right when you take into account that they are not just children but living ambassadors of Fabulosity. [TMZ]
• Naomi Campbell was kind enough to get arrested wearing one of Nelson Mandela's signature baseball caps, thus showering millions of dollars in free publicity on his AIDS awareness campaign, and this is the thanks she gets? [MSNBC]
• Mary-Kate Olsen and Ben Kingsley make out in the new movie The Wackness and now the guy we all associate with one of modern history's foremost humanist visionaires is going around talking about how making out with someone 42 years younger than him was completely cool and she was "totally in charge." [People]
• Miley Cyrus admits that her latest song "7 Things" is a very angry song, because it's about an ex-boyfriend, not a specific Jonas brotherly ex-boyfriend you understand, but just like a composite character ex-boyfriend, since anyone who's been around the block a few times knows that shitty guys generally adhere to a few typical patterns of behavior and also, hello, 15-year-old Disney teen idol confections maybe do not write their own songs. Not that their quotes don't sound like they do! "[It goes] through all the different stages of what's been going on the past couple years…It was like a little therapy moment for me." [People]

Lindsay Sings: "If I Want It, I Get It. Now."

• Synth! Dance beat! Breathy vocals! It's Lindsay Lohan's new track, "Bossy." And guess what? It doesn't totally suck. "Stop touching me without permission," she sings. "I'm jut a little bossy. If I want it, I get it — Now." Ha! Like that fur coat? But is the song as good as Kelis's "Bossy"? Well, LL's track was written by Ne-Yo. Lemme know what you think. I may have to listen again. And Again. And then one more time, with rollerskates on. I'm so embarrassed. [People]
  
• Meanwhile: Lindsay's dad Michael is pissed that the Mingling Moms named ex-wife Dina a "Top Mom." He says: "Are you kidding? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling 'Oh, [bleep],' when she saw the paparazzi." Meanwhile, Dina says: "He's on a mission to destroy me." Wow, this kind of stuff must be great for the kids to hear. [Page Six]
  
• So Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon spill all their wedding details to People, including the fact that they get along because they are 'both eternally 12 years old" and Mariah now has a "Mrs. Cannon" tattoo. [Yahoo News]

Jen Aniston Sunbathes • Brad & Angie Fly High • Heidi Klum Gives The Finger

Tribeca Film Festival: The Stars Dress Up For Robert DeNiro

Stars, T-Shirts Come Out To (Hip) Hop The Vote

Angelina's Unborn Kids Already Making Money

• Photographs of Angelina Jolie's (now) unborn babies could be worth a whopping $10 million. An editor who remains anonymous actually says: "It's at the point now where some stars might decide to have more kids just to collect the money from their photos." Hahahahahaha. No. [Page Six]
  
• By the by, People's issue with La Lopez twins sold between 2 and 3 million copies; Nicole Richie's cover sold 1.8 million; Christina Aguilera's sold 1.3 million. [ONTD]
  
• Russell Simmons and wife Kimora have filed for divorce — again. He filed in March 2006, but the proceedings never um, proceeded. In any case, since they have such intertwined careers and businesses, this should be interesting. [TMZ]
  
• They secretly went out two years ago, and now Matthew Perry has rekindled his relationship with Mean Girls actress Lizzy Caplan (she played Janis Ian). She's 13 years younger than he is and it's a "friends with benefits" type thing. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
  
• Tina Fey wants Ashley Dupre, aka Kristen, to be on 30 Rock. A skit involving Jack? Or Kenneth? [Page Six]
  
• Here's video of Ashley Dupre telling a Girls Gone Wild cameraman that she is over 18 and her name is Amber Arpalo. [TMZ]

The Fashions At Flawless Were Anything But

Russell Simmons' Yoga On The Beach

RIP Kanye's Mom

• Kanye West's mother, Dr. Donda West, died Saturday in L.A. She was 58 years old. The cause of death has not been released. Dr. West was formerly the chair of Chicago State University's English Department. In her book, Raising Kanye, her son wrote in the foreword: "I have known my mom since I was zero years old. She is quite dope." [USA Today]
  
• Britney Spears has a new manager — her "friend" Sam Lufti. The same guy who may or may not have been trying to sell her emails to the tabloids. Stay classy, Brit! [Page Six]
  
• Uh, did Britney fail a drug test? [Perez Hilton]
  
• Maybe! The test came back positive, says a source. But the source also says it was a false postive. Maybe she had a poppy seed bagel? Also, did she run a red light with her kids (and court-appointed monitor) in the car — and not even notice, because she was texting? [TMZ]

Britney Spears Ignores Court Orders, Basic Laws; Loses Babies

• Britney Spears lost custody of her kids because she didn't meet with a drug counselor, submit to drug testing or enroll in parenting classes — all things the judge overseeing her custody battle with Kevin Federline had ordered. Is it possible that she'd be relieved not to have primary custody? [TMZ]
  
• By the way, Britney finally applied for a California driver's license. For the love of Zeus, let's hope she passes the written test! [People]
  
• The new issue of Vanity Fair claims that Lou Perlman — the man who created *NSync and the Backstreet Boys — was a pedophile and a sleazeball who had inappropriate contact with boy band members, including Nick Carter. Wonder if Timberlake was spared? [Page Six]
  
• Derek Jeter is dating actress Gabrielle Union? First of all, In Touch said she was dating Ludacris. Second: Does she know about the herp? [Page Six]

Victoria Beckham Wants To Rearrange Your Face

• Victoria Beckham's latest professional endeavor is a makeup line called "V-Sculpt," which is supposed to give its users finer features. It launches today in Tokyo. Because Asia is known for its coarse, exaggerated features? Also: what? [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Kate Moss had 18 advertising contracts last year; now she has 11. DO WE SMELL A DOWNFALL??? [The Sun]
  
• Andre 3000 is launching a clothing label! Dandy! (Heh.) Menswear comes first, to be followed by lady wear. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Italian cabdrivers share Anna and Moe's sentiments regarding the fashion industry. [GlamChic]
  
• Le SportSac's creative director on how she envisions her company's bags: "I want them to be like your friend who helps solve your problems!" Ha ha ha, like all that excess money in your pocket [Fashion Week Daily]

At Fashion Week, The Better The Access, The Worse The "Energy"

On the last day of Fashion Week, a very long legged person in hot shorts and fishnets appeared at my doorstep. It was Wonkette videographer and yoga instructor Liz Glover, bearing many gifts: interviews with Russell Simmons and Ivana Trump discussing world affairs! Brandon Davis! A Polaroid of her and Vince Gallo! Also, a baggily dressed student. "How did you get Vincent Gallo to talk to you?" I wondered. "Well, I told him that Gawker may be mean, but that I teach yoga, and I believe in karma," she said sunnily. She had similarly won herself entrance to Zac Posen, Calvin Klein and numerous parties we couldn't. But it was a double-edged sword: Fashion Week, she found, was full of negative energy, misaligned chakras and spiritual hunger. (And also: hunger.) It was so disturbing, in fact, she felt she wanted to write a personal plea for self-love to all its participants. As her pupil massaged our cat — he was headed on a retreat in Hawaii the next day, and he needed Liz to sign a release form ("You know us Libras, we can't decide if we're going till the spur of the moment like that") — and Liz told us about the disturbing orgy at the Russell Simmons party, we decided it was a message that deserved to be aired.

Michelle Williams: Soon-To-Be-Single Mom

• Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams: SPLIT! "They've been fighting for six months," says a source. Their daughter, Matilda, is 23 months old. [Star]
  
• Michelle's dad says he has "great respect for Heath" even though the dad was "never invited into their world." Maybe because he's self-exiled in Australia for tax evasion?[News.com.au]
  
• Owen Wilson is on the mend and "doing very well" says director Wes Anderson. [NY Post]
  
• In addition, "When [Owen's] ready he's going to speak for himself much better than anyone else could," Anderson says. [People]
  
• Grey's Anatomy actress Kate Walsh, 39, got married over the weekend. [People]
  
• Dina Lohan's new boyfriend calls Michael Lohan a violent, drug-abusing criminal who never deserved his "classy, intelligent" wife. It's like a Telenovela, come to life! [Page Six]

MTV Invests In Clothing Line Of Indentured Famous Person Lauren Conrad

• Shocking but true: MTV is investing in subversive style iconoclast Lauren Conrad's clothing line. What, Emily Weiss didn't tell her about "private equity"? We think this is a first for media behemoth Viacom and the apparel industry and we can only hope Toastie and Scott Baio's BFF are next, and that whoever owns Fuse will back Heidi and Spencer's line of American flag wear, and that no one in the country ever buys any of this shit. [Portfolio]
  
• Quote of the day:"I actually think our customer prefers it if she has to work a little for it. She knows she's not going to smell like everyone else," Jennifer Balbier, senior vice president of global product development, MAC Cosmetics, regarding limited edition fragrances. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Yogi/mogul (yogul?) Russell Simmons steps down as CEO of Phat Fashions so crazy Kimora can "get space" in which to self-destruct. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Derek Jeter's second fragrance comes out in December. It's called Driven Black. We think this sounds a little racist, but we're confused by that, because it would be a different story if it were called "Paint it Black" or "Smelling like a baseball player's cup is the new black" ... pondering. [WWD, sub req'd]

News At 10: Lindsay Lohan Really Loves The Box

• Now that she's blazed a trail through young Hollywood's most eligible male heirs, club-happy Lindsay Lohan may be shacking up with lesbian DJ Samantha Ronson. [PerezHilton]