• Jersey Shore stars The Situation and Pauly D are going Hollywood: They're looking for a condo in L.A.

Snooki is not. "I'm an East Coast girl," she says. But Ronnie is hoping to go Hollywood as well: "Hopefully, I'll get a comedy career out of this," he says. "Just do something. Ride it out. There's a lot of opportunities out there, you know. I'd like to be a part of them." If these people end up having some kind of showbiz longevity what does it mean for our culture as a whole? [E!]

• Mandy Moore and her flat flat tummy are on the cover of Shape, and inside, she says: "I need to be more consistent about taking care of myself no matter how busy I am." Apparently she wants to change her eating habits and go on vacation. (That makes two of us.) Mandy claims: "The last time I took a real break was two years ago with my girlfriends in Costa Rica… This year Ryan and I want to go somewhere that's just for us – no work!" [People]
• Yesterday on The View, when talking to Stanley Tucci about The Lovely Bones, Elisabeth Hasselbeck asked him if his wife had seen the movie. Tucci's wife died last year. [Page Six]
• In a video at the link, Emily Blunt is completely charming as she talks about Young Victoria. And! She sort of does the "Single Ladies" hand wave! [Pop Wrap]
• "Here's the cougar who claims she taught Tiger how to be an animal in bed." No thanks! [NY Post]
• Tiger Woods has "been spending his days in seclusion — eating cereal and watching cartoons." [NY Post]
• Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren is telling friends that a "divorce is 100% on." [Mirror]
• Jaimee Grubbs, whom this column refers to as "Tiger's gal," just posed for Maxim. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Tiger Woods' other ladyfriend, Jamie Jungers, has naked pictures of Tiger passed out drunk. Allegedly. [Radar Online]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce should be final before the end of the year. [Mirror]
• Kid Cudi is leaving Lady Gaga's tour? Who will open for her now? [Gatecrasher via Billboard]
• Oliver Stone loved shooting Wall Street 2 in New York so much that he bought a condo downtown. His neighbors? Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. [Page Six]
• NYC celebrity hotspot the Beatrice Inn closed in April but could reopen in a new location, says owner Paul Sevigny, aka Chloe's brother… According to a source. [Gatecrasher]
• 2005 ANTM contestant Nik Pace is suing the father of her child — New York Jets wide receiver Braylon Edwards — for child support. [Page Six]
• Russell Crowe is threatening to sue a guy who wrote a "funny" book about cricket. [News.com.au]
• Here's video of LaToya Jackson shopping at Target and picking up a Rihanna CD instead of a Chris Brown CD. [TMZ]
• Mark Salling, aka Puck from Glee, is dating Audrina Patridge and they're "really into each other." [Gatecrasher]
• The Wayans brothers have a book called 101 Ways To Know You're A Golddigger, and a former assistant says it was his idea, only his book proposal was called You Know You're A Golddigger When…. [NY Daily News]
• Pamela Anderson is playing the Genie of the Lamp in a UK stage show of Aladdin. A critic says her performance is "crushed by the weight of expectation, limited technique and a truly dazzling lack of effort." [NY Daily News]
• Ugh: Here, details from the trial of the man who is accused of stalking Ashanti and sending disgusting messages to her cell phone. Ashanti's mom/manager testified that she was "terrified" and: "I'm thinking, in my mind, rape." [NY Post]
• Country music legend Loretta Lynn was battling the flu but now she "feels great," and is planning on visiting the Bahamas over the holidays. Be well! [AP]
• "The last time I was at [the restaurant] 21 was when I was 12 and nominated for a Tony for High Society. It was around the same time as the Belmont race and all the women had on big hats and I thought, 'Wow!'" — Golden Globe nominee Anna Kendrick, at a 21 Club luncheon honoring Up in the Air. [Page Six]
• "It was very important for me to be a mom." — Padma Lakshmi. [Gatecrasher]
• "It began 17 years ago, and [it's like] the loud sound of an unoccupied radio station or television station … but there is a harder element to it. I think of it as an evil sound. I'm listening to it now. It's like a fuse … SHITCH-ssssssssssssssssss … going on and on and on and on, and you LIVE in the anticipation of the explosion that fuse is crawling toward." — Yikes, William Shatner has tinnitus, a persistent, incurable ringing of the ear. [MSNBC]
• "We were at dinner once with Tom [Cruise] and Katie [Holmes]… and everyone was like, "Let's start a singing game!" [Singing in public is like my] worst nightmare. I was texting [a nearby] friend, saying 'Please, invite me to your table!'" — David Beckham. [Gatecrasher via Us]

[Image via MTV.com]

• Nene and Kim might get evicted from Real Housewives Of Atlanta?!?! Aren't they the most entertaining ones?

Oh: They're demanding more money than Bravo wants to shell out. Hmm. Anyways, Bravo is looking for new wealthy/notable Atlanta housewives, though Usher's ex-wife Tameka Foster isn't being considered: Apparently "Tameka isn't very popular in Atlanta," and all the "housewives" said they'd leave the show if she were cast. OUCH. [Gatecrasher]

• BREAKING: John Mayer was seen talking to Kim Kardashian. She is happy with Reggie Bush, however. [Page Six]
• A hip NYC cafe is being sued by a waitress who claims she had her hours cut after she refused to date the "Butterscotch Stallion," Owen Wilson. [Page Six]
• Oprah won't win an Oscar for "producing" Precious because she signed on to do so after the film was shot, which disqualifies her (and Tyler Perry). [NY Post]
• By the by: Oprah's ratings are down. [NY Post]
• I like the way Josh Brolin is looking at Matt Damon in this Entertainment Weekly pic from a story about the documentary project The People Speak. [Gatecrasher]
• A former nanny claims that Christie Brinkley ignored the fact that Alexa Joel was becoming a troubled child. [Page Six]
• Mischa Barton was seen knocking back shots and drinking margaritas and a source says "she looked healthy and in control." Whatever that means. [Page Six]
• Wendy Williams got breast implants when she was 14. FOURTEEN. fourteen years ago. Sigh. Misleading headline! [Gatecrasher via People]
• The company which has the rights to distribute shirts, posters and other things with Michael Jackson on 'em is suing EVERYONE who is "bootlegging" items. [TMZ]
• A California appeals court is considering whether Roman Polanski's case can be dismissed without him being present. [CNN, LA Times]
• Kendra Wilkinson has given birth to Hank Randall Baskett IV. [Ok!, People]
• Inevitable? Tiger Woods paramour Rachel Uchitel is in negotiations to pose for Playboy. [Extra]
• Another (unnamed) woman who had a relationship with Tiger Woods has hired Gloria Allred as her lawyer. [Radar Online]
• Porn star Holly Sampson is not denying anything; she confirms that she and Tiger Woods were "intimate." In addition, in some old video clip she says that Tiger is the whitest black boy you've ever met. His teeth are perfect and he's the perfect gentleman." Then she points to her crotch and says: "He's beautiful ... beautiful everything." [Us Magazine]
• Hollywood madam Michelle Braun says that at least two of Tiger Woods' hookups — Jamie Jungers and Holly Sampson — were high-end escorts. [TMZ]
• Oh, and Michelle Braun says that Tiger was a client, and paid $60,000 for her high-priced hookers. [E!, NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Holly Sampson: "Although I enjoyed our time together, I never was and never will be one of Tiger's mistresses. I resent being put in the same category as the other women." This is because their hookups took place before he was married. [TMZ]
• "Tiger Woods has come clean to his stunning Swedish wife about ALL of his dirty horndogging, porn-star loving, cocktail-waitress chasing and general catting around with scads of ladies, according to a report." [NY Post via People]
• TLC was granted an injunction against Jon Gosselin, which — thank Zeus — bars Jon from making any more appearances like that embarrassing pool party thing. [Extra, AP]
• You may have heard that Chris Brown did a radio interview in which the DJ asked him about Rihanna — and Chris promptly hung up. Audio at the link. [TMZ]
• Jeff Bridges plays a washed-up country singer named Bad Blake in new movie Crazy Heart, and says his mom didn't like one of his most famous characters, The Dude, and "probably wouldn't like Bad, either. She liked to see her son play the president or a doctor-like any old mom, you know." [WSJ]
• Q: You've been married to the same woman for 32 years. Rule #1 for staying together in Hollywood? 
Jeff Bridges: "Don't get a divorce. That will keep you together, you know." [WSJ]
• "Michael Barrett, 48, Will Plead Guilty To Stalking For Secretly Making Nude Film Of ESPN Reporter [Erin Andrews]; Faces 5 Years In Jail." [CBS News]
• Brad Paisley has the number one album on Time's Top 100 Albums list. [Time]
• The Princess And The Frog is the number one movie on Time's Top 100 movies list. (Up is number 2, so, yay! animation.) [Time]
• Lil Wayne's new album, Rebirth, has been delayed. Again. [Reuters]
• RIP Flight Of The Conchords. Show collaborator James Bobin says: "While the characters Bret and Jemaine will no longer be around, the real Bret and Jemaine will continue to exist." Quietly sob while you watch this video the guys made for us, the ladies of the world. Redheads not warheads! Blondes not bombs! Brunettes not fighter jets! [NY Times]
• RIP It's On With Alexa Chung, which I actually thought didn't seem so bad, although I only saw it once or twice. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe is an a "laughable weepie" of a movie this columnist calls a "mawkish blunder." [NY Post]
• "I'm not picky, quite honestly. It's simply that I recognize pretty quickly the stuff that I don't like. And I also recognize the impulse that is dragging me towards a piece of work. And perhaps as you get older, that impulse comes less often." — Daniel Day-Lewis sounds kind of picky about his acting roles. [Guardian]
• "I am not proud of being rich." — Ricky Gervais. [Page Six]
• "There's no question that the recession has had an effect on the arts, especially on British films. Things are not being greenlit as much and it is more difficult for people to get work. When you go abroad people always talk with such love about British theatre, but the irony is that it's not appreciated by the Government as it should be. The state of the arts has always been, and will always be, precarious. But there is something so alarming about the huge cuts made to companies, particularly when you read of the astronomical amounts some people are earning, like bankers… I am concerned that they've taken a lot of the subsidy to the arts away for the Olympics. It's been siphoned off." — Dame Judi Dench is is calling for arts funding to be fixed. [Times Of London]
• "The Internet is full of humorists. They've risen from the earth. They've fallen from the skies. Anyone can write anything, anytime they want. Blogs that are angry—which maybe half of them are—wear out. What people keep going back to are writers who are funny. That's a great thing." — Garrison Keillor. At the link, he reveals why he wears red shoes. [Time]
• "I'm doing well, you know, because I'm committed to it and they're lovely, lovely people, its been nice. Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought well this has got a huge scope for disaster, but it's actually been quite good so far. Its been really good actually, in retrospect its been one of my favorite years, [the highlight was] meeting Katy. She's amazing. I'm having a right laugh. She's a good person to spend time with and its changed me - it's made me stop doing stuff that I probably shouldn't have been doing." — Russell Brand. [Daily Mail]
• "I didn't get cast in Shakespeare, but [my teacher Mrs. Rodriguez] cast me later in Oliver… There are a lot of people in my life who are surprised that I am where I am, but Mrs. Rodriguez would not be. I wish more than anything that she truly knew how much I really loved her for the gift that she gave me." — America Ferrera "held back tears" as she spoke at a New York Women In Film lunch; her teacher died of cancer before America became a star. [Page Six]
• "WOW... THIS IS REALLY FLATTERING... I'VE HAD SOME UPS AND DOWNS THIS YEAR, WELL ACTUALLY THIS DECADE. JUST SEEING THIS COVER TAKES ME BACK TO THAT TIME OF MY LIFE. I REMEMBER HOW MUCH PAIN AND LOVE WENT INTO THIS ALBUM. NO ONE SAW IT COMING. THIS PROJECT WASN'T ABOUT ME, IT WAS ABOUT A TIME IN PEOPLES LIVES WHERE PEOPLE FORCE OPINIONS ON YOU AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE CHOICES FOR YOURSELF. WE LOVED 50 CENT BUT WE WANTED TO BE THE YANG. WE WANTED TO WEAR PINK POLOS AND RAP ABOUT BEING HURT INSTEAD BEING INVINCIBLE. THERE WAS A CORE GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO WORKED ON THIS ALBUM EVERYDAY.... PLAIN PAT, JOHN MONOPOLY, DON CRAWLEY, ANTHONY KILHOFFER, MANNY MARROQUIN, JOHN LEGEND, DEVON HARRIS, RYHMEFEST, GEE ROBERSON, HIP HOP, AL BRANCH, DAMON DASH, GABE TESORIERO, CRAIG BAUER, GLC, OL' SCHOOL ICE GREE, CONSEQUENCE, B NICE AND MY MOM. I WAS MOST INSPIRED BY THE MISEDUCATION OF LAURYN HILL AND I LISTENED TO THAT ALBUM EVERYDAY WHILE WORKING ON MY DEBUT. THANK YOU FOR THIS ACKNOWLEDGMENT AND FOR PUTTING "THE BLUEPRINT" ON THE LIST ALSO. I LOVED "THE LOVE BELOW' AND "GET RICH OR DIE TRYING" ALSO. THEY BOTH EQUALLY DESERVED THE NUMBER ONE SPOT IN MY EYES BUT THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE NUMBER ONE!!!" — Your friend Kanye West is kind of excited about Entertainment Weekly naming his CD, The College Dropout, the top album of the decade. [KanyeUniverseCity]

• The Tiger Woods case may be closed, but a Los-Angeles based cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, is telling Us Weekly that she had a 31-month fling with Tiger. And:

Another woman from a nightclub in Las Vegas is expected to be named any minute now. Can of worms, you guys. Can of worms. [MSNBC Scoop]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us Weekly has voicemails from Tiger Woods in which he says: "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye." You can listen at the link. [Us Weekly]
• Jaimee Grubbs, the alleged recipient of the voicemail, allegedly bragged about her relationship with Tiger at work and played the voicemail for coworkers. Allegedly. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs also says she has photos and hundreds of "racy" text messages from Tiger Woods. [NY Daily News]
• More on Tiger's sexting here. One message reads: "I will wear you out... when was the last time you got [bleeped]?" [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Tiger Woods booked and paid for Rachel Uchitel's trip to meet him in Australia in November. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan was out Monday night, hanging with John Mayer and Samantha Ronson, and was "totally sober and well-behaved." No, really. [Page Six]
• According to this column, John Mayer was "playing relationship counselor" to Sam and Lindsay — getting Sam to talk to Lindsay, whom she initially ignored. The two ended up spending much of the night talking and laughing! John Mayer is magic! [Gatecrasher]
• Caaaaaaashmere sweaters! Oprah's "Favorite Things" episode may be back next year! [CNN]
• Like Taylor swift, Bon Jovi and Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z is suing an establishment for playing his music without paying. [TMZ]
• What's this? Justin Timberlake's new hair looks like his old hair? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• Adam Lambert is hoping one of his songs will be in the Twilight movie Eclipse: "It's kind of about vampires," he explains. "It's a great song. It's very theatrical ... very campy." SHOCKING. [Gatecrasher via MTV]
• Tragic times we live in: Britney Spears, Rihanna, David Beckham, Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were all seen at LAX Monday — and they all few commercial. [Gatecrasher via X17]
• George Clooney's frequent flier tip: Wear slip-on shoes. "The shoes you have to tie, they take forever." But: "I never wear those goofy masks on my eyes. I am too worried about the guy in the next seat taking a picture of me. That is one photo that you can't live down." [People]
• Kim Kardashian has finally reached her "goal" in terms of her body, and you can see what that looks like in a pic at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Another amazing Twitter pic: Tyra and her real hair! [NY Daily News]
• The Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie promises to be "epic" and those involved are looking to "recreate that Gladiator magic." Production is "massive," claims Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe says: "I don't think there is a satisfying Robin Hood and that's one of the key reasons for wanting to make another one." Expect to see Robin with cropped hair and a beard, much like Maximus. [News.com.au]
• Clint Eastwood, who directed the Nelson Mandela film Invictus, says he finds Mandela "Christ-like." "There are just no people like this on the planet." [Showbiz 411]
• Stevie Wonder has been named a United Nations Messenger of Peace, which is a brilliant idea. [UPI]
• Rah rah ah ah ah: Barry Manilow hearts Lady Gaga. "I really think she's got something going for her," he says. [Reuters]
• Barry should know that a teen panel has declared that Lady Gaga and Jamie Foxx songs are the musical equivalent of junk food with "unhealthy relationship ingredients." But: "We aren't telling people what they should or should not be listening to," Barbara Ferrer, of the Boston Public Health Commission, said in a statement. "We are giving them a tool that will help them make an informed choice about what they put in their bodies." Fourteen teens attended a seven-week commission-sponsored institute on healthy relationship promotion and teen dating violence prevention, where they were taught to evaluate music based on themes of power, control, equality and gender roles. [USA Today]
• Sting was asked: "Do you feel uncomfortable travelling between various homes in various continents at enormous carbon cost?" by Newsnight's Jeremy Paxman, who added: You're not being blamed for the global crisis, you're just being called a hypocrite." Sting "squirmed in his seat." [Guardian]
• OMG OMG OMG: Joan Collins is hoping to take her makeover TV show Joan Does Glamour to the US! Hairspray, diamonds and shoulder pads for everyone! [Mirror]
• "Customers who buy a diamond at Ivanka Trump's Bridal Bar, where rings start at $15,000, will get a three-course dinner with champagne and a night in a Trump hotel in Manhattan." Get engaged — get a room. [Ny Daily News]
• Corey Feldman's going through a divorce and wants joint custody of his son and doesn't want to give his wife spousal support. [TMZ]
• Little Richard is out of the hospital after hip surgery and wants to work hard at recovery so he can "get back on the road as soon as possible." Let's hope he's feeling Tutti Frutti ASAP. [AP]
• Norah Jones has won her battle to transform the windowless side wall of her Amity Street mansion in Brooklyn's Cobble Hill by punching out 10 windows. [Brooklyn Paper]
• "Oscar-nominated actor James Woods has settled a lawsuit against a hospital in Rhode Island where his younger brother Michael died in 2006." [Mirror]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname reunited… To watch their son's nativity play. [The Sun]
• "I did show my line at Bryant Park, which is not in this season, but I knew that I had to really prove myself as a designer more than anybody else out there. There are so many celebrity lines and there are so many reality show lines, actually, that haven't really done well and haven't shown much design sense. So I had to prove myself even more, that I really did take this seriously. I think no one ever expected me to put so much heart and soul into it. I guess the verdict is still out regarding what they think of my talent." — Whitney Port. Lots more at the link. [LA Times]
• "We as a family are under a lot pressure. [People want] to make us look bad and wants us to fail. [With the Melrose Place firing, the world], again, always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard. My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong...We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we say we are." — Joe Simpson on his daughters Ashlee and Jessica. [Us Magazine]
• "They are all different. I have died with my eyes open, which is more interesting than dying with your eyes shut. I can't remember how I died as Tolstoy, but I have done Cyrano de Bergerac on stage and I died with my eyes opened. I think that's marvelous, because in the theater the lights hold to your open eyes and it's kind of marvelously frightening for a second." — Christopher Plummer, who plays Tolstoy in his latest film The Last Station. [LA Times]
• "I think we should say something about class in America. It's the dirty little secret nobody wants to talk about… What about the people at the top who are evil and corrupt and don't want to change and don't want to give up the positions of power that they inhabit to make other people suffer and to make actual real horror in the world? They don't want to change. What do we do about them?" — Roseanne Barr tries to be the voice of the disappearing American middle class on her radio show, "The Tipping Point." [LA Times]
• "I think she's probably quite nervous... She's smart but make no mistakes, this will be a very different kind of show than what you're used to. Obviously everyone wants to sit next to me. I am thinking about pulling names out of a hat." — Simon Cowell on Ellen DeGeneres joining the judging panel on American Idol. [Mirror]
• "You can still contribute even if you are not as fortunate as I am. I've been blessed and I've been over-rewarded for what I do and I'm trying to give my time and my resources but you know, I'm a rich rock star, so shoot me." — Bono, urging people to buy products from the (RED) brand, which funds aid projects in Africa. [Telegraph]
• "A lot's changed since I was on TV. We have a black president now. Actually, Obama called me and asked me to help him with his campaign. He said he had two rules for me — don't use the 'N' word, and stay off TV. Figures the first black president would run on a platform of only taxing the rich, and now I'm rich!" — Dave Chappelle, in a surprise visit to Caroline's comedy club. [Page Six]
• "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties. I didn't touch pot 'til I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college [Harvard]. But I think that's a good thing in many ways." — Natalie Portman. [Page Six via Marie Claire]
• "Not only is my performance raw in this film, but through most of the film I am naked from the waist down. So not only am I raw, I'm chafed." — George Clooney, joking about Up In The Air. [People]

• A judge ordered Lindsay Lohan to appear in court tomorrow for a progress report because officials from her alcohol education course reported concerns about her sobriety. If she violated the terms of her probation, she could be jailed.

• Lindsay was ordered to attend the course after pleading no contest to a DUI in 2007. Usually in a misdemeanor case the defendant would not have to appear in court. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Kate Gosselin says she might sue Jon Gosselin after hearing Stephanie Santoro's allegations that Jon bragged about hacking into her emails, phone, and online accounts. She said in a statement that she's "profoundly disturbed" and "Under the circumstances, Ms. Gosselin is carefully considering all of her legal options regarding this matter, and she will pursue them if and when the time is right." [Radar Online]
• Roman Polanski's wife Emmanuelle Seigner attacked a female paparazzo who approached her outside her Paris apartment, punching and screaming at her in the middle of the street. [Radar Online]
• Jimmy Kimmel's admission that he's dating staffer Molly McNearney is developing into his own sex scandal. Apparently he fired her ex-boyfriend, who was also on staff, before they started seeing each other. Molly and her ex used to double date with Jimmy and Sarah Silverman. [Radar Online]
• According to the search warrant in the David Letterman extortion case, Robert Halderman met with Letterman's lawyer to present the incriminating documents and photos and demand $2 million from Letterman. The meeting was held and recorded and Haldeman was given a $2 million check. [TMZ]
• The legal documents say Robert Halderman told the lawyer that David Letterman's "world is about to collapse around him," and that he had, "a lot more" documents to back up his claims. [AP]
• At the link are pictures of Holly Hester, a woman who claims she had a relationship with David Letterman when she was an intern 20 years ago, goofing around in Dave's office. [TMZ]
• Lawyers representing Michael Jackson's estate went to court today to ask a judge to give them more power to make day-to-day decisions without going to court. The judge put off the hearing until later this month. [TMZ]
• Liza Minnelli says she and Barbara Streisand will attend Stanford and Anthony's wedding in Sex and the City 2: Electric Boogaloo and she will perform Beyonce's "Single Ladies." Liza says: "The choreography for the number is something I should have done when I was 22." [Contact Music]
• A spokesman for director Hype Williams has confirmed that Beyonce and Lady Gaga will appear in the music video for Beyonce's "Video Phone." [MTV]
• A source claims that Jennifer Aniston hooked up with John Mayer at a New York hotel in september. "He really got to her, and she's hooked on him," says the source. "She just can't let go." [Us]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger's solution to Maria Shriver being caught talking on her cell phone while driving was to hire her a driver. [TMZ]
• Leona Lewis, who was punched in the head by a man at her book signing yesterday, wrote on her website: "Thank you so much for your support it is truly overwhelming. Yesterday was a horrible shock and left me extremely hurt and upset. I'm very sorry to those I wasn't able to meet at the signing. Thank you again for all of the lovely messages." [People]
• Police have charged 29-year-old Peter Kowalczyk with assault for allegedly hitting Leona Lewis and "sectioned" him under the mental health act — which means he's being held so doctors can evaluate him. [TMZ]
• Leona Lewis was supposed to go to Germany today for a one day promotional trip but she cancelled so she could recover from the incident. [The Telegraph]
• A second Billy Mays autopsy report says contrary to earlier reports, "there is no evidence that Mr. Mays' death was related to acute cocaine intoxication .... rather, the use of cocaine by Mr. Mays appears to have occurred at a remote time several days before his death." [TMZ]
• The second autopsy was commissioned by Billy Mays' family. His widow Deborah Mays issued a statement saying: "In addition, there is nothing in his medical, social or professional history to suggest chronic cocaine use. Therefore, I do not believe cocaine played a significant contributing factor in the death of Mr. Mays as the autopsy specimens and findings are not consistent with the cardiac conditions normally observed in a person chronically using cocaine." [TMZ]
• David Archuleta's parents have filed for divorce less than a month after his father, James Jeffrey, was arrested during a sting on a massage parlor for soliciting a prostitute. [Radar Online]
• Paris Hilton says of the pet piglet she's purchased, "I'm getting her in a couple weeks. She's still a baby, so she's with her mom, getting ready for me. She'll be a perfect addition to the family!" [Us]
• Kim Kardashian did a Barbie-inspired shoot for the cover of Kurv magazine. She says, "I absolutely love this photoshoot I did for KURV Magazine! I worked with the most amazing photographer, Tony Duran! This could be my favorite shoot to date!" [People]
• Khloe Kardashian wrote on her blog, "According to Star, our marriage is on the rocks because I threw a fit when Lamar refused to give me a massage!!! I seriously died when I read that! LOL. Star is known for doing evil, fake and RIDICULOUS stories about my family. Remember the cover story, "Kardashians At War"? Honey please. They are becoming the Enquirer. Next thing you know they'll be saying that Kourtney is giving birth to a cat! LOL. All of their stories are absurd but at least we get a good laugh from their lies." [Khloe Kardashian Blog]
• A-Ha will split up following a farewell tour next year. The band says the split will allow them to pursue "other meaningful aspects of life." [The Mirror]
• Someone created a Rihanna tag on twitter and wrote: "The Wait Is Ova. Nov. 23 09." It's unclear if that's the date her new album is coming out. [CNN]
• Russell Crowe and Elizabeth Banks were shooting a scene inside a van when a fire truck pulled out of a nearby station and hit the front of the van. No one was injured. [TMZ]
• David Cook's "cougar," who is 9 years older than him, says he broke up with her because fans weren't happy about their relationship. Kim Johnston claims that Cook sent her a text reading: "Dude, I'm losing fans over this!" [Star]
• George Clooney says false news stories leave celebrities with "no recourse... It'll be false, and you'll go, 'It's not true.' And they go, 'We're not saying that, we're saying that a London tabloid has said it.' They're just reprinting and reprinting things that aren't necessarily true." [AP]
• Daniel Radcliffe has bought at $5.65 million brownstone in Manhattan that used to belong to a sea captain. [Observer]
• A 38-year-old man suffered a fatal heart attack at a Kelly Clarkson concert at Boston University. [Boston]
• According to an autopsy Sickle Cell Anemia may have played a role in the death of Ashley "A.J." Jewell of RHOA. He died in a bar fight but due to his condition he may not have been able to replenish the oxygen he lost during the incident. [TMZ]
• Emilie de Ravin separated from her husband Josh Janowicz when she was filming Remember Me with Robert Pattinson. She and her husband have reunited but a friend says, "She was miffed that Rob went back to Kristen Stewart after the film wrapped... She liked him a lot." [Star]
• Madonna says the past year, in which she got divorced and went on tour, was "challenging... I may have thrown myself off a building. I think work saved me and I'm very grateful that I had work to do." [Daily Mail]
• "People have told me, 'you could just go out there and play guitar and sing your songs like Paul McCartney', but I'd be too bored. Most of the joy of the shows is the magic of creating them: theatre. I'm a perfectionist. I like hard work. I like to sweat." — Madonna [The Telegraph]
• Some of Emily Mortimer's least favorite things are integrity, men in shorts, the sound of her husband clipping his toenails, and "how awful my boobs are when I'm pregnant." [Black Book]
• Carey Mulligan says, "A lot of people go to university for the sake of it and I knew I would probably waste my time and other people's time so I tried to get into acting." [The Telegraph]
• After hearing that January Jones was photographed in lingerie for GQ Bryan Batt said, "I'm in House Beautiful, thank you very much. In my bed, fully clothed. Please, people want to see January in her underwear. They don't want to see me in lingerie. Come on, who's not dying to see that? All the ladies on our show are uniquely beautiful in their own way." [N.Y. Magazine]
• According to a Playboy press release, Marge Simpson said when her family learned that she posed for the magazine's November issue, "Homer said he was intrigued because he had never heard of [Playboy]. The notion of women posing in the buff was completely foreign to him. Wasn't it sweet of him to lie? When Lisa heard about this, she said it was empowering to see a woman in control of her own body. Wasn't it sweet of her to lie? Bart will never learn about this under any circumstance."

• Kate Gossselin will be going after Jon Gosselin for "raiding" their joint bank account.

Apparently there's a court order prohibiting Jon or Kate from withdrawing any money from the account without he consent of both parties; yet Jon's taken $200,00 out. [TMZ]

• Kate Gosselin's lawyer says: "If the money is not immediately returned, we will be looking into potential claims against [Jon's lawyer] if he had any involvement with the violation of the court order… It is very disappointing that Jon Gosselin has escalated this to such an ugly place." [Radar Online, TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin's attorney, Mark Heller, was once suspended from practicing law for five years due to "professional misconduct." This was between 1994 and 1999. [Radar Online]
• BREAKING: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt took Knox and Vivi out in public! They visited a gelato store in Amman, Jordan! Pix at the link! ZOMG TWINZZZ. [Daily Mail]
• Even before David Letterman became involved with staffer Stephanie Birkitt, he had a "secret affair" with intern Holly Hester in the '90s, and his relationship with personal assistant Laurie Diamond is described as "particularly flirtatious." In addition, a source says: "Dave has a great track record of promoting women on the show — three of the five executive producers are women, and all of them have been with him for more than 20 years." [NY Post]
• Simon Cowell's 50th birthday party at sprawling estate Wrotham Park featured a huge image of Simon's smirking face, projected on an outside wall of the mansion; waiters wearing masks of Simon's face; a performance by Earth, Wind and Fire; and burlesque dancers, who whipped Ryan Seacrest. [NY Post]
• Miley Cyrus had to cancel a concert over the weekend because she is still battling strep throat. [UPI]
• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem: Engaged. Supposedly. [Rush & Molloy]
• Elton John and David Furnish are still hoping to adopt. They'll have to put the Ukrainian toddler Elton fell in love with out of their minds, however: Furnish says, "When we found out he had a maternal grandmother, and brother and sister, we realized it wouldn't be the right thing to take him away from the family he had there. We would love to adopt Lev, but that does not seem possible under Ukrainian rules." [Daily Express]
• The mother of the toddler Elton John wanted to adopt says she will not give her kid up; the boy is in a children's home because she's an alcoholic and he was taken by social workers. [The Sun]
• "Switzerland would have arrested film director Roman Polanski on earlier visits to the country if justice authorities had been aware of his presence, a Swiss minister said in an interview published on Sunday." [Reuters]
• Precious got a standing ovation at the New York Film Festival over the weekend; Roger Friedman writes: "Expect Oscar nominations for Best Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay, Actress (Gabby Sidibe), and one or more Supporting Actresses (Mariah, Mo'Nique)." [Showbiz 411]
• The problem with Precious? Mo'nique did not show up for the NYFF, just as she "ditched" her promotional duties during the Toronto Film Festival. [Gatecrasher]
• John Travolta testified that his son was autistic, which is in conflict with Scientology's "unofficial position" on the condition. But, this report claims, Travolta remains "firmly committed" to the Church. [TMZ]
• A DNA test has confirmed that Jude Law is indeed the father of Samantha Burke's baby. This paper calls Jude and Samantha's relationship "a brief love affair," but weren't you under the impression it was a one night stand? [Daily Express]
• Jenna Fischer's on the cover of Shape doing the classic Shape pose: Standing in water in a bikini. [JustJared]
• Chris Noth: Engaged. [People]
• A Facebook campaign has helped get an indie film starring Harry Potter redhead Rupert Grint get a distribution deal in Britain. Grint plays a Northern Irish teenager who takes drugs… and is featured in intimate bedroom scenes. In other words: Not Ron Weasely. [Gatecrasher]
• At the link, the Seinfeld cast spills about the Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Jason Alexander, aka George Costanza, says: "It was so bizarre, I can't even describe it. It negated the idea that time had passed at all, and I was actually grateful that some of the elements of the apartment set were different, [so] it wasn't a complete mindfuck." [EW's Hollywood Insider]
• At a party in LA, Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane put the moves on Dianna Agron, aka Quinn Fabray from Glee. She wasn't interested. [Gatecrasher]
• Shia LaBeouf blatantly checks out hot chicks even when his girlfriend, Carey Mulligan, is right next to him. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes Leon wants to be an actress when she grows up. Do you think she's seen Swept Away ? [Daily Mail]
• Russell Crowe is in Robin Hood and is taking the character to heart: He got filmmakers to gift a £60,000 prop — a battering ram — to extras on his film, who are in a battle re-enactment group. [Daily Express]
• Beer and doughnut loving Homer Simpson in an anti-obesity campaign sponsored by the Department of Health?!?! [Mirror]
• "Housewife Kandi Burruss Devastated By Fiancé's Death."[People]
• In this piece, Vince Vaughn plays shrink and diagnoses the four couples from Couples Retreat, which he co-wrote and produced. [USA Today]
• On Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking: "hilariously perceptive journey" "chock-full of funny, fascinating tales." [AP]
• "Drinking is a perfectly pleasant trifle - nothing that requires or inspires great emotional commitment, but fine for a one-night stand." [USA Today]
• James Blunt has been dumped. [Daily Express]
• Candy Spelling had neck surgery and is currently in a full-body cast. [TMZ]
• As mentioned last week, Quentin Tarantino has confirmed that he will be making a third Kill Bill movie. [Variety]
• Q: I heard a rumor that you run on a treadmill in heels and sing. A: "[Laughs] No, I don't run on a treadmill in heels. That's a bit extreme. But I do practice my choreography in heels. And I have a rule that when I have my heels on, everyone has to have their heels on too. Sometimes the dancers are like, 'Oh, God, we hope Beyonce comes in late,' because I'll go all day. And in the end, I'll have blisters and my toes will have bruises. It's really hard sometimes. I still do all the boring things that everyone else does in regular workouts like squats and the treadmill. But I mainly get in shape from doing the choreography during those long 12-hour rehearsals for two months before a tour." — Beyoncé. [Reuters]
• "I'd like to get involved in videogames since I really love Wii Fit. I think it would be a great idea to incorporate choreography because for me my workout is way more fun when it involves dancing as opposed to running on a boring treadmill. So I would love to do some kind of fitness game but incorporate dance and performance into it. I think a lot of women would enjoy that." — Beyoncé. [Reuters]
• "When he walked on the stage I was like no, no, no! I knew his intentions and I knew he was standing up for art… [In the end] Taylor Swift had her moment and I didn't have to give an acceptance speech!" Beyoncé on the Kanye/VMA incident. [Mirror]
• "We mutually decided to cancel the tour. He's going to take some time off, but I'm not. Kanye and I talked about it. We talked about it a lot, as well as with Live Nation…" — Lady Gaga, who has just announced a solo tour now that the "Fame Kills" tour with Kanye West has been canceled. [Variety]
• "We're calling it a ‘vacation.' He's going away to get things sorted out." — a "source" on Kanye West possibly going to rehab. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I went to the doctor and had an AIDS test and he told me it was positive. That was one of the worst days of my life." — Ozzy Osbourne, who did another HIV test, which came back negative. [Telegraph]
• "For the first time in my life I'm legal to drive — so watch out." — Ozzy Osbourne, who passed his driving test after the 19th attempt. [The Sun]
• "It was the most physical pain I've ever experienced. There was crying. But then you'd feel so good about falling and then getting back up and doing it again… I've never been to an overnight camp, but it felt like what I imagine that to be. Drew was just one of the girls. We'd skate and then go to the break room and talk about boys. She makes everyone feel like the most important person in the room." — Ari Graynor, aka Eva Destruction, on making Whip It. [NY Mag]
• "I know you're supposed to tell kids not to do drugs, but, kids, do it! Do weed! Don't do the other stuff, but weed is good… What you want to do is what I did, build a movie empire and, at age 38, smoke it all away." — Kevin Smith. [Page Six]
• "It is kind of disturbing, but so is putting yourself out there as far as relationships or friendships goes. It is scary and sometimes you are taking a risk. If you aren't prepared to do that you're going to have very safe options in your life, but they won't be the most exciting ones." — Anna Paquin, on vampire/human relationships in True Blood. [Telegraph]

• Lady Gaga on those nasty hermaphrodite rumors:

"My little vagina is very offended." [News.com.au]

• Celebrities seen attending DJ AM's memorial — designed to resemble a 12-step meeting — include Lindsay Lohan, Robert Downey Jr., John Mayer, Nicole Richie, Samantha Ronson, Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. [AP, People]
• Susan Boyle's album is topping Amazon's bestsellers list, even though it's not on sale until November. Pre-orders have the album out-selling Whitney Houston and the Twilight soundtrack. [Daily Mail]
• So you know how Chris Brown critiqued Oprah for doing a show on domestic violence, dedicated to "all the Rihannas of the world"? He called it "a slap in the face." And he said: "I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could've been more helpful, like, ‘OK, I'm going to help both of these people out.'" A source says: "He's done. Whatever goodwill he had, he's totally ruined it by saying that. What was he thinking? And who the hell goes up against Oprah? It just shows he doesn't think. No one is going to want him as the face of their brand." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile: Rihanna has been seen being "touchy-feely" with "scenester" Travis London. [NY Daily News]
• Michael Jackson's burial last night gave Katherine Jackson closure, sources say. "Everyone's been telling her how strong she is, but even she said, ‘It's not always easy to be this strong,'" says Rev. Al Sharpton, a Jackson family friend. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paris Jackson cried when she stepped into the mausoleum where her father was to be entombed; Katherine Jackson started to go in but turned back, overcome by grief. [AP]
• Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis attended Michael Jackson's burial. Gladys Knight sang. [People]
• Michael Jackson was not buried at Neverland — or in Gary, Indiana, because his family wanted a "secluded, dignified resting place fitting for a music legend." His mother, Katherine, wanted to be able to visit her son without fanfare or fans. [Mirror]
• An Australian newspaper mocked Russell Crowe for smoking and eating a big meal during a recent bike ride. Naturally Russell has challenged the paper's gossip columnist to a "duel by bicycle." Apparently Russell's spokesperson called the guy the next day and said: Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?" [Breitbart]
• Lisa Ling says that when her sister Laura Ling was held captive in North Korea, Diane Sawyer reached out: "She made calls and took meetings on our behalf for which we will be forever grateful." [People]
• We've seen a lot of Jon Gosselin lately, but not a lot of his girlfriend. A source says of Hailey Glassman: "Hailey actually hates the fact that Jon is famous. She doesn't want to be photographed and doesn't like the attention." [Page Six]
• Zooey Deschanel is "scrambling to slim down" for her wedding; she's been taking ballet workouts back to back. Or maybe she just likes the workout? [Page Six]
• Joy Behar is silly. [Page Six]
• Newly released emails from Carrie Prejean show that she and the pageant officials were butting heads way before she spoke out on same-sex unions. In a March 19 email, Carrie wrote to Miss California co-director Keith Lewis: "I WILL NOT BE VERBALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED ANYMORE BY ANY OF YOU. I HAVE A COMPETITION TO PREPARE FOR. I WILL NO LONGER BE DEALING WITH ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO BRING ME DOWN AT THIS POINT. I WILL ONLY SURROUND MYSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAPPY. AND RIGHT NOW, THAT IS NONE OF YOU. I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN APRIL. PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME AT ALL FROM THIS POINT FORWARD." [Fox News]
• "Donald Trump is such a hands-on boss that he personally helps pick six of the 15 finalists in the Miss Universe pageant each year — because the preliminary judges often overlook the most beautiful contestants." [Page Six]
• Check out this "commercial" for "Fecalux," starring Roseanne. It makes you poop. [ONTD]
• All About Steve "is an oddly creepy, sour film, featuring a heroine so desperate and peculiar that audiences may be more likely to pity than root for her." [Rotten Tomatoes]
• Jake Brockman, a former keyboard player with Echo and the Bunnymen, was killed in a motorcycle crash Tuesday on the Isle of Man. [BBC News]
• Whatshername says Whatshisname has a "secret lover." [The Sun]
• "I hope this show is a huge hit and that people love it. Because I like playing this character more than any character I've ever played." — Courteney Cox on upcoming show Cougar Town. [LA Times]
• "The older I get, the younger the leading man gets." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Telegraph]
• "I've always said I believe in good music and bad music. ...I like music. My next album, which I'm working on now — that's exclusive, no one knows that — is gonna be the album that really ...it's not gonna be a #1 album. That's where I'm at right now. I wanna make the most experimental album I ever made." — Jay-Z. [MTV News]
• "People often look for deep psychological and emotional reasons why people eat, and I'm sure for many people those exist. But other people, and I would include myself, are just fucking greedy bastards who like eating. It's nice – it's a nice feeling. Eating chocolate is nice, right? Chocolate's fucking great. So I don't think it was a horrible self-comforting thing, I think it was just lack of self-discipline. Most people want a load of chocolate, but they stop. They think, if I do that I'll get fat. Whereas I just thought, I don't care." — Little Britain's Matt Lucas, who has recently lost weight because his doctor had warned him he was at risk of becoming diabetic. [Guardian]
• "You can live a very normal life if you don't actually look for things. Someone said, 'Oh, I saw a picture of you on the Internet, that was a really pretty hat.' Not hat, I don't wear hats. 'That was a really great dress!' I was like, 'Oh, I just wore that the other day, how did you know?' 'Oh, well, on blank-blank-blank-dot-com.' I wouldn't know. I don't know whose movie made money — I haven't seen a movie. I don't know who's famous and who's not, I don't know any young people that are coming up. I'll see somebody, and I'll say, 'That girl's really pretty.' And someone may say, 'Oh, of course, she's on "The Hills" or something.' Is that a show? I've got strong opinions, and I can get short. But I'm just not that high-maintenance. So the whole world knows I had miscarriages. And yes, I've done in vitro however many times — three times. Yes, I've said that David and I go to therapy. Yes. Nothing's too precious for me. For some reason, I don't care. I wish I could be a little bit more, like, 'You're trying to dig something out of me,' and me being like, 'I'm not going to talk about that.' What do you want to talk about? I don't care." — Courteney Cox. [LA Times]
• "I don't enjoy being looked at. But that's part of being successful, doing magazine covers. It's very masochistic – the one thing you're so afraid of you become addicted to. I'm addicted to being uncomfortable." — Megan Fox. [NY Daily News via Wonderland Magazine]

[Dovedale, England; August 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Lindsay Lohan is on the cover of Elle UK — the shoot where jewelry went missing! — and here's what Editor-in-Chief Lorraine Candy writes in her Editor's letter:

"Lindsay Lohan wrote me a note during this month's cover shoot. It read, 'Let's do it again some time.' I've put it on my office wall because, in all honesty, I don't know if I could. This was the most unpredictable, and confusing cover shoot in my magazine career. First, Lindsay was about to arrive. Then she was in Paris. She was almost on set, then she disappeared into her hotel room. She was ready for her interview, then she had to have a fake tan! But we got there. And what we got was amazing. This shoot is truly original, just like Ms Lohan herself. In the end, she did her job brilliantly and, I hope you'll agree, so did we." Here's video from behind-the-scenes at the shoot [Elle TV]

• Chris Brown will be sentenced on Wednesday and appear on Larry King Live afterward: He'll apologize for assaulting Rihanna on TV. [Radar Online]
• Was Chris Brown forcibly removed from an upscale bowling alley in NYC last week for "partying too much"? [Fox 411]
• Take note: Tom Cruise is David and Victoria Beckham's "relationship guru." [Daily Express]
• "David Beckham is to star alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger in TV ads promoting California to tourists." [The Sun]
• Ryan O'Neal says of Farrah Fawcett's funeral: "I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me. I said to her, 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She replied, 'Daddy, it's me - Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it's my daughter. It's so sick." Tatum O'Neal says: "That's our relationship in a nutshell. You make of it what you will." [The Sun]
• Vanity Fair produced two different covers for its September issue: Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. These deaths bumped a scheduled Mad Men cover, so now the actors from the show will be inside. Boo. [WWD]
• This paper spoke with the grandmother of the Samantha Burke, woman that Jude Law got pregnant. Delores Burke, 80, says: "What I want to know is how a girl gets pregnant in this day and age? Yes, it takes two people but he is the older and wiser man and he should have made sure nothing like this happened. I'm mad at him, we all are. He has other children. Didn't he think about how his actions would affect them?" [Daily Mail]
• "Samantha, her mom, and her family can affirm that Jude has been responsive and supportive throughout the relationship and pregnancy, and know that he will remain so as a father once Baby Sophia is born." [People]
• Video of Samantha Burke talking to the media at the link. TMZ]
• Apparently Samantha barely had any boyfriends, hence the headline: Prude Until Jude. [The Sun]
• A source says: "Jude sleeps with so many different women. A lot of names were going around as to who the mother of his baby could be." [Page Six]
• Jude's ex, Sadie Frost, is the oldest of 10 half brothers and sisters and mother of four kids from two marriages, so she's "understanding" and wants her kids with Jude to meet the new child. [Mirror]
• Jude Law allegedly told Sadie Frost that he only slept with Samantha Burke once, after a drunken party. [Daily Mail]
• Jessica Biel sings! She's playing Sarah Brown in Guys and Dolls at the Hollywood Bowl, and says she would love to to go Broadway: "That is one of my eight-year-old dreams. That's like my little eight-year-old inside me is cartwheeling around, thinking about that idea." [AP]
• Mariah Carey's new CD will have ads. Actually, the CD booklet will be a 34-page mini magazine in co-production with Elle… with ads from Elizabeth Arden, Angel Champagne, Carmen Steffens, Le Métier de Beauté and the Bahamas Board of Tourism. [BrandWeek]
• Paris Hilton's estranged manager Jason Moore is hopping a book about how he molded this blond piece of clay into a global icon." [Rush & Molloy]
• Dr. Conrad Murray was getting $150,000 a month to be Michael Jackson's personal physician. But many of his previous patients were low-income. "There are many, many patients that thank God this man was here for them," says one. One patient said Murray performed angioplasty on him three years ago without ever being guaranteed he would be paid. [CNN]
• If you have $30 million or so, you can big on the Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson, going up for auction soon. [BBC News]
• Jon & Kate Plus 8 will not become Jon & Kate Plus Dates. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Leslie Mann says her husband Judd Apatow gives her anecdotes to tell while she's promoting new film Funny People: "He has trained me to be ultra-prepared, to have five stories ready to go. He gives what I say a beginning, a middle, and an end. Whereas I'd just barf it out," she says. "It's really lazy of me to depend on him to make me sound sensible, but so what? I'm lazy." [The New Yorker]
• Milla Jovovich: Getting hitched for the third time; filmmaker Paul W.S. Anderson is her fiancé. [Daily Mail]
• Tilda Swinton and 40 other people are pulling a film screen through the Scottish Highlands "on an eight and a half day odyssey through the mountains, camping each night in a different village." [Guardian]
• In this interview, Diane Kruger says she is a "country girl" and "definitely not sophisticated." The reporter writes: "What utter hogwash! Kruger spent most of her childhood summers on a scholarship to the Royal Ballet School in London, then five years as a top-drawer international model, based in Paris, before becoming a film actress." [Times of London]
• Liev Schreiber says kids make you youthful: "I'm older physically, but spiritually much younger." [People]
• Kate Middleton, aka Prince William's girlfriend, has had a series of meetings with Sir Richard Branson, in an effort to "sharpen her business acumen." [Daily Mail]
• Editors at British magazine Pride are apologizing for manipulating comments made by Nia Long, which made it seem like she was ranting about Beyoncé's acting skills. [Daily Express]
• Liza Minnelli will not be on Ugly Betty, but she will be on Drop Dead Diva. [AP]
• Whoops! Emile Hirsch and an Emile Hirsch impostor both attended the same party. [Page Six]
• Eric Bana is hot and talking about his attraction to cars. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller on GI Joe: "If these films are well done I can find them quite entertaining. But…I prefer indie, arty films really. It's not the kind of film I'd normally go and see." [Guardian]
• In addition, Sienna's GI Joe wig cost cost £4,800. [Telegraph]
• Carey Hart says he and Pink are going to have a baby… Eventually. "She still has another 18 months of touring, and I'm pretty heavy in competing again in all my businesses, so it's definitely going to happen, but just not anytime soon." [E!]
• Q: A character with special needs or a prostitute-those are usually the two paths to Oscar. Had you considered that? Hugh Dancy: "I genuinely didn't. But now that you've said that, if it doesn't work out for me with Adam, I'll play a hooker next. There was the worry that if we didn't pull this off, I would look doubly exposed. Like, 'Really? You thought that was going to work? Better luck next time! There's this great prostitute movie coming out-maybe you should give that a shot.'" [BlackBook]
• Kevin Costner and his band were set to perform in Canada when suddenly the stage collapsed. One person died and at least 60 people were injured, including 2 members of Costner's band. [TMZ]
• Funny interview with Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, at the link. [BlackBook]
• Sheree from The Real Housewives Of Atlanta seems psyched that she was the number one trending topic on Twitter last week after her "Who's gonna check me, boo?" argument. She says: "You don't want to be on the wrong side of Sheree. You really don't. I tell them all the time, 'Don't let the cute face fool you!'" [E!]
• He's done Ali G, Borat and Brüno.What will Sacha Baron Cohen do next? How about a Eurovision music mockumentary? [The Sun]
• Kathleen Turner spills about living the last 17 years with the pain of rheumatoid arthritis, taking steroids which made her puffy and bloated and then turning to vodka to kill the pain — and becoming a drunk. [Daily Mail]
• Omarosa will be on TV One in a new series called Life After. [WaPo]
• "In Cold Souls, opening Friday in limited release, the actor Paul Giamatti plays an actor named…Paul Giamatti." [LA Times]
  
• Billy Joel is "distraught" over his breakup with Katie Lee Joel and "obsessed" with getting her back. [Page Six]
• People you may or may not have hear of had a kid: "Survivor & Amazing Race's Rob and Amber Become Parents." [People]
• Hollywood is out of ideas, part MCDXLIV: Steven Spielberg will direct a remake of Harvey, about a man and his friendship with an invisible six-foot tall rabbit. The original flick was released in 1950 and starred James Stewart. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Will Ferrell has left the film project Neighborhood Watch. [Variety]
• Dustin "Screech"Diamond: purposely excluded from the Saved By The Bell reunion by his castmates. [NY Daily News]
• Whatshername will celebrate her divorce with a televised "party extravaganza." [The Sun]
• Whatshername is on "yet another" holiday, and her cagefighter boyfriend is with her. [Daily Mail]
• Whatshisname has been crying himself to sleep and wishes he were stronger. [Mirror]
• "They did try to submit in the comedy category in the '90s and suffered from doing it in an era of juggernaut comedies like Friends and Seinfeld and Cheers and whatnot. And The Simpsons was as well written, if not more so, as any of those — but suffered from the prejudice against the medium. So I think perhaps in reparation for that, they should give them an honorary achievement Emmy." — Seth MacFarlane. [LA Times]
• "At 21 I married Luc Besson and we bought a beautiful 13-room chateau in Normandy. I was totally happy, drinking wine, walking in the forests and riding horses in the beautiful farmland. It didn't work because he was so much older. I was young and staying up late, playing the guitar and hanging out with my friends. He was the early riser who went to sleep early. He expected me to be the perfect wife, which was natural - the hostess entertaining his friends. But I was like, 'Aaaargh! I don't even like those people.' It's too bad it didn't work because he was an incredible person and I was an incredible girl, but the timing wasn't right." — Milla Jovovich. [Daily Mail]
• "I think Hillary Clinton is one of the most amazing women of this time. I don't know her and I don't know — should I call her? I'm sure she's busy. But I know they know this movie's being made. And I just want to call and say: Do you have any thoughts or feelings I should be aware of? Of course I can't make that call. I feel like saying, 'I'm going to play you in this movie and I have a lot of respect for you and is there anything you want me to say?'" — Hope Davis. [LA Times]
• "Whatever I say, I get myself into trouble." — Sienna Miller. [Guardian]
• "When I'm not working, I feel like a Ferrari in the garage. You have all this potential and you just want to break out." — Glenn Close. [LA Times]
• "I would talk my wacky language to him and he'd interpret it to the drummer. I'd say, 'I want it to sound like Zeus woke up from a nap and he's pissed and there's an opening in the clouds and he starts handing out lightning bolts,' which is crazy, but that's how I hear the rhythm. And Omar, he whispers some things to the drummer, and that's exactly what it sounds like. It really encouraged the songwriter within me." — Juliette Lewis, on recording her band's new album, produced by The Mars Volta's Omar Rodriguez-Lopez. [Reuters]
• "I have a theory that people feel as attractive as they did as a child. I was a really hideous child. People who were attractive as children have a sense of entitlement. I have a sense of awkwardness." — Kate Beckinsale. [Times of London]
• "Troy launched me but it launched me as the face that launched a thousand ships and not as an actress. I want roles where I have to expose my soul." — Diane Kruger. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I have never come across a female character that is written with Blanche's level of complexity, in that she's vulnerable, she's pathetic, she's a monster, she's nasty, she's tender, she's kind – she's so many things that you never know quite what she's going to do next. I've never come across so rich a character before." — Rachel Weisz on being in A Streetcar Named Desire in London. [Telegraph]
• "My life has gotten more surreal in stair steps. from the blog to the book to the movie to 'Oh my God, Nora Ephron's directing it! Oh my God, Meryl Streep's in it!' So right now I'm at this sort of surreal-is-the-new-normal phase. I'm cool with it." — Julie Powell, whose blog became the movie Julie & Julia. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm so not the relationship go-to girl. But I'm much clearer about what a relationship is, which is why I will never marry again. Gabriel and I have a great partnership and a lovely daughter. But I once was stupid enough to say, in a previous relationship, 'I'm going to be with this person for ever,' and realized, as I grew, that I don't know if for ever is possible. Gabriel and I don't look at our relationship in terms of for ever, we look at it as right here today. And today means being the best people we can be, the best parents we can be. It's wonderful, but neither one of us feels the need to attach ourselves to each other for life – because it may not be that." — Halle Berry. [Daily Mail]
• "I hate alcoholics and AA. If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze" — Roseanne Barr to Heeb. [Page Six]

• Seriously, Jennifer Aniston, what the hell are you doing? First you signed on for desperado babyfever flick The Baster, now you're doing a movie called Pumas. That's right: PUMAS. The plot:

"Two thirtysomething women make a habit of romancing younger men." But wait: The ladies take a French skiing vacation that "challenges their romantic expectations." What's next? Old Maid: The Musical? [Variety]

• Mel Gibson was in a scuffle with a photographer and the snapper's friend; a shirt got ripped open and someone is filing a battery report against Gibson. More to come. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton arrived in New York on Tuesday night to start filming The Beautiful Life, but some are saying it's too soon after her hospitalization. Here's the thing: On the show, Mischa plays an aging supermodel with a drug problem. [Gatecrasher]
• Isn't it interesting that we don't know who the mother of Jude Law's love child is? Someone from the set of Sherlock Holmes perhaps? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez, her luggage, her husband and her impeccably dressed children are in Rome. [Daily Mail]
• Nadya Suleman's reality show is in production. Right now, her 14 kids are being kept off camera, while work permits are being figured out. Her lawyer says: "It most likely will be aired in the UK first once it gets finished, but there has been substantial interest from a U.S. major cable network." [EW]
• Kenny Chesney is denying the Star report (from yesterday's Midweek Madness) that he and Jessica Simpson flirted on July 4, in front on Tony Romo. "Tony's a friend, and I wouldn't flirt with a buddy's girlfriend," says Chesney. "More importantly, Jessica was just being sweet and there was nothing else to it." [People]
• Liam Gallagher and Lily Allen were on an 11-hour Virgin Atlantic flight to Japan and were repeatedly told to "calm down" as they boozed it up in a "marathon drinking session." [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Kim Kardashian doing "okay" after split. [People]
• Amy Winehouse made a deal with her neighbor — he'd grill the meat she'd bought if she'd do a private gig for him one day. [The Sun]
• Here's what happens when Hollywood films a movie in your house: branches with fake leaves arrive; Betty White holds your dog; Ryan Reynolds ignores you. [NY Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine, will get custody of his kids. Katherine and Debbie Rowe have reached an agreement which gives Rowe visitation rights — but no additional money. [CBS News]
• Debbie Rowe wants the kids to have a psychologist to help them adjust to her being in their lives… And she will get one. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's personal nurse and nutritionist Cherilyn Lee says she never saw him take any IV drugs. What I knew for a fact was he had very small veins. "When I met him and did his blood work he said, 'Don't feel bad because I have tiny squiggly veins, sometimes it takes 30 minutes to an hour to find my veins.'" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's personal chef, Kai Chase, is still talking about being in the house the day the singer died. "I thought maybe Mr Jackson is sleeping late," she says. Also: She is sort of pushing a cookbook, tentatively titled Fit for a King. [Guardian]
• Dr. Conrad Murray was sentenced to jail earlier this year… for non-payment of child support. [Radar Online]
• Dr. Murray may lose his Las Vegas home. [NY Daily News]
• TMZ spoke to two sisters who worked for Dr. Conrad Murray — LaQuisha Middleton and LaQuanda Price — trying to get details about boxes of dirty needles and whatnot. Whatever you do, do not read the comments over there. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Michael Jackson's will is not valid because it's not notarized; but in California, a will doesn't have to be notarized. So. [TMZ]
• Speaking of doctors and celebrities with prescription problems… Elvis' doctor has a new book in which he says: "I don't regret any of the medications I gave him. They were necessities." [UPI]
• Daniel Bark, who is charged with vehicular homicide in the death of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen, says Cohen was drunk. [TMZ]
• The Sex And The City movie sequel is having issues attempting to shoot in Dubai, probably because the UAE authorities don't like that the word "sex" is in the title. [Daily Express]
• Russell Brand "was seen being propositioned by a member of staff from naughty undercracker shop Agent Provocateur." He was in the store chatting with the young lady; and as he left, she ran after him with her phone number. In other words: Just another Wednesday. [The Sun]
• Are Lil' Kim and Scott Storch back on? [Page Six]
• "There's a better fight in the season opener of The Real Housewives of Atlanta than there was in the recent finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. [NY Daily News]
• Balthazar Getty: Back with his wife? [Daily Mail]
• The casting of Bryce Dallas Howard and the ousting of Rachelle Lefevre = Twilight dramz. [E!]
• Put it this way: Rachelle Lefevre was "stunned" that her role in Eclipse was cast with someone else. [AP]
• Bridget Moynahan will star with Aaron Eckhart in Battle: Los Angeles, a flick about a Marine platoon in a face off against aliens attacking L.A. [Variety]
• Matthew McConaughey and Eva Mendes are in talks to star in Southbound, in which he'd play a a patrol officer on the border between California and Mexico who accepts a bribe from a beautiful Mexican woman. Eva was born in Miami to Cuban-American parents but whatever. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe will star in The Next The Days, directed by Paul Haggis (Crash). Crowe will play a teacher whose wife is arrested and convicted of a murder she says she did not commit. [Variety]
• By the by, while filming Robin Hood, Russell Crowe popped into a charity shop and donated £1000. [The Sun]
• Interested in ESPN reporter Erin Andrews' 911 call? [TMZ]
• Shakira is back! Her new album and first single are called She Wolf, and the video airs tonight on MTV. You'll see her dancing in a golden cage: "It was improvisation. I went crazy," she says. "They said 'Action!' and I just started hanging from the bars. I felt so inspired, maybe because I felt like I was a living metaphor trapped inside the cage." [USA Today]
• Weird: Val Klimer owes $538,858 in unpaid taxes in New Jersey, even though he is originally from L.A. and has been living in New Mexico for the last 20 years. [TMZ]
• Audrina from The Hills has a new man, an "Aussie BMXer" named Corey Bohan. [E!]
• Gretchen Wilson plans to start her own label which, of course, she will call Redneck Records. [USA Today]
• Men At Work: Still facing plagiarism charges, from a song that was a hit in 1981. [BBC News]
• "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m., because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier. When was the last time you heard, 'Did you hear what Leno said last night?'" — Joan Rivers. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• "I can't wear a skirt that's too short any more. It's not that my legs are bad, it just looks silly. I feel less pressure to dress youthfully. I'm 50 and everyone knows I'm 50 – who are you kidding? Jeans are my uniform. I have about 15 pairs." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Daily Express]
• "You just read it. Seriously. It is an incredible document. I think people either forget about it or have been taught it too early in their lives. It's a document worth reading and rereading every single year because it's the principles in that document that we should be loyal to and fight for and struggle for, rather than whichever government is in power." — Matt Damon, on making reciting the Declaration of Independence exciting for a History Channel movie. [AP]
• "I love my curves, I embrace them, but I have to walk a fine line. I think it comes down to being voluptuous, and if your body's a certain way, then things can go distasteful in a second… I love therapy! I'm very in touch with my feelings... there's nothing like going in and sitting down and talking to someone who has no emotional tie to your life." — Eva Mendes. [NY Daily News]
• "I want a part so bad. Any part's fine. I will be the vampire who carries Robert Pattinson's luggage in the airport. That is the part that I will play if they need it. I'd pass out [if I met Robert]. I can't talk about it, 'cause I'd pass out. It's because he's Edward. Listen, Edward can fly you through the forest. He's like Aladdin with vampire teeth - there's magic-carpet rides. He can sing. He can watch you sleep. He plays music. He sniffs your neck. I mean, please!" — Jennifer Love Hewitt really really really wants to be in a Twilight movie, poor thing. [MSNBC]

[London, July 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• According to this report, Mischa Barton was taken from her home last week because she was so high on coke friends were afraid she was going to kill herself. [NY Post]

• A source says of Mischa Barton: "She is a mess. She is a suicidal, uninsurable mess." [The Sun]
• Madonna has visited the family of a worker killed in a stage collapse in France and will meet with three other people hurt in the accident. [UPI]
• Someone stole three boxes of clothing from L.A. stylist Jennifer Rade Thursday night. Who was Rade's client? Who was she collecting dresses for? Angelina Jolie. [Page Six]
• "Single Jessica Simpson Keeps A Low Profile." You mean she's not running around in circles chirping "I'm single! I'm single!"? Huh. [People]
• Nick Lachey says there is no truth to the rumor that he and Jessica Simpson might reunite: "I haven't talked to her in probably two years," Nick says. "I wish her happiness. That's where it pretty much ends." [People]
• Prince was spotted on a first class flight from Minneapolis to La Guardia. He was reading Elle magazine, carrying a gold- and diamond-encrusted walking stick and wearing flip-flops with sparkly silver socks. Whoever spotted him has pretty much had the best day of his or her life and it's all downhill from here. [Page Six]
• Gwyneth Paltrow: "Furious" that Scarlett Johansson is upstaging her. See, ScarJo is on the new Iron Man 2 cover of Entertainment Weekly, and in the new publicity shots; Gwynnie is not. [The Sun]
• David Beckham played his first home game with the L.A. Galaxy this year — and was booed by haters. One fan jumped over some seats to confront Beckham and ended up getting arrested. [AP]
• When we saw this Jean-Charles de Castelbajac ensemble, we were like, who the hell would wear that? Well, the answer, of course, is: Lady Gaga. [BuzzFeed]
• Kate Gosselin and the kids were in New York on Saturday to do a photo shoot for TLC; there was some kind of kerfluffle between security guards outside of the photo studio and paparazzi — the guards used umbrellas, styrofoam boards and folding tables to keep the snappers back; the kids had to be hustled into the studio. "It must have been very upsetting for the kids," says one observer. [People]
• Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman went to fat camp before college, but would cheat by going to Panda Express. Apparently this was before her alleged "coke diet." [Perez]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin have been split up and living separately since last year, and Jon didn't start dating until after the divorce. [People]
• Wait, what? Jon Gosselin is dating a Star magazine reporter named Kate Major? [Gatecrasher]
• Concert promoter AEG is auctioning off the rights to the rehearsal footage of Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour, and no Jackson family members are involved in the sale. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Looks like Sony Pictures is close to closing a deal to make a feature film out of the Michael Jackson rehearsal footage. [Variety]
• La Toya Jackson penned a "tribute single" after her brother's death and it will be available on iTunes on July 28. [Mirror]
• TMZ reported that Jermaine, Tito and Jackie Jackson would be performing at the Jamaican Reggae Summerfest. But Jermaine says: "TMZ needs to get their facts straight. We're not going to Jamaica." [E!]
• Tito Jackson seems to blame Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death, saying: "My opinion is that he panicked when my brother didn't wake up… He did have a pulse but he couldn't bring him back. I don't know what the time lapse was between the doctor finding him and when he called paramedics. But I believe if he had immediately called for help we might still have my brother here today, he would definitely still be alive." [Mirror]
• An anonymous senior law enforcement official says there will not be a murder charge in the Michael Jackson case. [UPI]
• Is Katherine Jackson trying to object to the executors named in Michael Jackson's will? And if so, why? There's a "no contest" clause in the will, meaning anyone who files objections to the will automatically gets no money. Is she being manipulated… by Joe? [TMZ]
• This report claims that Janet Jackson has offered to raise Michael's children, and loves them like they are her own. [The Sun]
• Russell Crowe is a hero! No, really: He helped out "a real-life damsel in distress" on the set of his new Robin Hood film. A crew member's car went up in flames when she was on her way to work. She told her colleagues about her scary experience, and Russell made a joke about it — but then ended up giving her enough cash to buy a new car. [Mirror, NY Daily News]
• Paula Abdul does not have a new contract to appear on American Idol for another season, which is probably more of a publicity stunt than an actual possibility that she won't return to the show. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Nevertheless, there's a #keeppaula Twitter trend. [LA Times]
• One reason Paula Abdul might not have a contract: She's holding out for more money. Apparently she makes around $2.5 mil a year, compared to the $15 a year Ryan Seacrest gets. [TMZ]
• Gossip Girls Michelle Trachtenberg and Jessica Szohr, as well as Rumer Willis, Ali Lohan and Stephanie Pratt attended a Charlotte Russe event in NYC last week, where a model playing air guitar almost hit a waiter in the head. [WWD]
• 50 Cent has been trying to sell his is giant mansion in Connecticut — the one that used to belong to Mike Tyson — which has 19 bedrooms, 37 bathrooms and a club with stripper poles. He's knocked about $4 million off the price, so if you have $10.9 million, it's all yours. [The Sun, Hartford Courant]
• Emma Thompson is looking frumpy and old-fashioned: She's filming Nanny McPhee 2! [Daily Mail]
• Jon Stewart has sent Daily Show DVDs to a 32-year-old man with leukemia and has offered to give the guy a tour of the set. [UPI]
• When Kylie Minogue and Spanish beau Andres Velencoso were arguing in a NYC club last week, he pulled out a camera and photographed her while she was upset. A source says: "He's making a collage of Kylie and has already got three albums full of photos of her, which he hopes to publish some day." [Daily Express]
• A source says of John Mayer: "Several years ago when he was dating Jessica Simpson, he couldn't go to her birthday party because he was on tour. So the night of her birthday she had dinner with [hairdresser] Ken Paves and a few friends. Everyone thought John would forget her birthday, but then a gift arrived from him — it was a DVD of him in concert. Jessica spent the rest of the night watching the DVD on a loop, 'being with him.' It was so sad." [Page Six]
• Zzzz: Peaches Geldof fell asleep during a TV interview with Fearne Cotton. [The Sun]
• "Kim Cattrall and toy boy split because he 'refused to be a kept man'" [Daily Mail]
• Jay-Z sips white wine as he is interviewed about The Blueprint 3, his 11th studio album, due in September — eight years to the day after the debut of the original Blueprint. "I wanted to bring it full circle," he says. "The first Blueprint was based on soul samples and more of a place where I came from and the records I listened to growing up with my mom and pop. This Blueprint, I liken it to a new classic, simply because we — Usher, Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, myself — are becoming the people that we looked up to musically growing up, like Marvin Gaye and Frank Sinatra." [Reuters]
• "Sienna Miller: 'I nearly burnt my breasts making GI Joe.'" [Daily Mail]
• Morgan Freeman is in talks to star with Bruce Willis in Red, based on the WildStorm/DC Comic. [Variety]
• Singer Christina Milian and producer/singer The Dream: Engaged. [NY Daily News]
• Click the link if you'd like to see video of Willem Dafoe talking about Lars von Trier's controversial thriller Antichrist. You know, the one where Charlotte Gainsbourg takes a blunt object to Dafoe's [ genitalia? [Guardian]
• Dazed Digital: There's a lot of nudity in the film so, I have to ask, is that actually your…
  Willem Dafoe: … Penis? No, it's not mine. Lars used a porn actor for those scenes. It was a good decision because, if it was me, then that's all that people would talk about. Obviously Lars wants the characters to have genitals but it would become a distraction: ‘Oh, they really had sex!' If he had asked me to do it, I don't know what I would have said. [Dazed Digital]
• Once, David Byrne almost hit Paris Hilton with his bike. [Page Six]
• RIP Frank McCourt. [NY Daily News]
• Blind item! "Which troubled starlet got her first big break on TV by sending the producer a tape of herself having sex with another girl? The producer thought the ploy was so original, he cast her instead of dozens of other ingénues." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which perennial bachelor princeling should be more careful? While His Serene Highness was cavorting on a yacht in the Mediterranean with a hunky guy, he thought the servants on board would keep their mouths shut. He was wrong." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which creepy dude and his posse of pals take photos of their overnight lady guests while the women are sleeping and tack them up on a 'Wall of Shame' afterward?" [Gatecrasher]
• "He put my son to shame! I provided my son with the best martial artists in the world, and he could not be persuaded to try it. In just two months, Jaden had learned so much. He is truly a talented boy." — Jackie Chan says Will Smith's son, who will star in Kung Fu Kid, is better at martial arts than his own son. [NY Daily News]
• "Anderson was just amazing. He said that the seven most horrifying words you can hear from a mother are, 'I'm going to write an erotic novel.' But he's fine with it, and of course I gave it to him before I even sent it off." — Gloria Vanderbilt, on her new book. The 85-year-old also says: "I think it's a work of art. The age of the artist is not what we're talking about. I mean, it's as if you looked at a painting and said, How old was the person that painted this? You really don't think in those terms." [Time]
• "When I started out, I'm not sure I was actually in it for the right reasons. I wanted very much to be famous. I did expect to succeed and I did have faith that I would. In reality, though, it has turned out to be something very different to what I wanted. It's the work and not the adulation that has proved to be the most fulfilling." — Gerard Butler. [Telegraph]
• "I have a boyfriend now, but I've been linked to so many guys I sound like a wanton woman. People say to me, 'Oh, it must be so easy for you, dating and boys.' It's really not easy. I suppose guys are either intimidated by me and have their defenses up, or they take the piss out of me. And I'm surrounded by cute older guys on set. That's my problem. It's a minefield, to be honest. It's stressful." — Emma Watson. [Mirror]
• "I'm sure I would have liked to have seen my parents more, and at that time, we did come second. But I like to think of them in Paris, having fun, not thinking too much ... And it was a different time." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on being the daughter of free spirits French singer Serge Gainsbourg and the English actress Jane Birkin. [Independent]
• "He was the most important voice in our lives for thirty years. And that voice made people reach for the stars. I hate the world without Walter Cronkite." — George Clooney. [Yahoo News via E!]

• Chris Brown tried to sit next to Mariah Carey during a private reception after Michael Jackson's memorial. She quickly informed him that she would rather he sit at another table. [Perez Hilton]

• Some have taken Jermaine Dupri's absence from Michael Jackson's funeral as confirmation of the rumors that he and Janet Jackson have split, but a pal says Dupri just "doesn't attend funerals." [Us]
• Janet Jackson has offered to raise Michael Jackson's kids... according to a random Inside Edition reporter. [CBS News]
• Debbie Rowe is suing the woman who sold Extra the emails in which Rowe said she doesn't really want custody of Michael Jackson's kids for defamation and invasion of privacy. Rowe says the emails are fake and she hasn't spoken to the women recently. [AP]
• Sources say lawyers for Debbie Rowe and Katherine Jackson are close to working out a custody settlement. It looks like Katherine will have custody of the children if a judge agrees. [TMZ]
• Hundreds of stuffed animals and other memorabilia left outside the Motown Historical Museum after Michael Jackson's death were buried in two vaults at Woodlawn Cemetary in Detroit. The cemetary, where Rosa Parks is buried and Diana Ross and the Four Tops have plots reserved, donated the vaults to Jackson along with a granite headstone memorial. [AP]
• The Iowa Fair let people vote online to decide whether or not there would be a butter sculpture made of Michael Jackson. Sixty-five percent voted no so plans for the sculpture have been cancelled. [UPI]
• The song "Home", which LaToya Jackson previously recorded to honor her family is being re-released as a tribute to Michael Jackson. The song will be the first single or LaToya's new album. The proceeds will got to AIDS Project LA. [AP]
• Marlon, Randy, Tito and possibly Jackie Jackson will do a paid performance of Jackson 5 songs at Reggae Sumfest in Jamaica next week. [TMZ]
• Prosecutors have opened a manslaughter investigation after the collapse of the stage being constructed for a Madonna concert in France killed two men and injured eight others. [Entertainment Tonight]
• The same company built the stage for the Madonna and Britney Spears concert at Dodger Stadium in November, which also collapsed. The company released a statement saying, "We were incredibly saddened by the tragic accident ... Two of our Directors have flown out to Marseille to visit the injured and to get a better understanding of what caused the accident ...There is absolutely no technical or other connection between the incident at the Dodgers Stadium in November 2008 and the tragic accident yesterday (July 16 2009) at the Velodrome in Marseille." [TMZ]
• Ne-Yo got sick and left the stage crying during a concert in Manchester, England. People thought he was crying because he was singing a tribute to Michael Jackson, but then he was struggling to move and clung onto a table onstage to keep from falling over. A presenter said he had "a really bad fever." [UPI]
• Lady Gaga was asked to wear a less revealing outfit and not dance provocatively for an appearince on Britain's GMTV yesterday mornign. A source says, "She finally agreed to tone it down. The nation would have been coughing up cornflakes if she'd had her way." [The Daily Express]
• Mark Ronson, who produced Back To Black says, "I heard Amy [Winehouse] was back in town, but I haven't spoken to her yet. I'm working on a new record now, but I would love to work with Amy again. I would definitely like to hear what Amy's been working on - she's an amazing artist, so I would be interested in anything she does." [The Daily Express]
• Eva Longoria Parker went camping in Normandy with husband Tony Parker, who is French. An onlooker said, "Sleeping under canvas obviously agreed with her. She looked gorgeous!" [The Daily Express]
• Security has been tightened on the set of The Fighter after an intruder startled Amy Adams in her trailer. "Amy was getting ready to leave the set when the guy climbed the steps right outside her trailer and said: ‘I'm looking for my cousin,'" said a source. "Amy, who was fully dressed and was with a production worker, yelled out: ‘What the hell are you doing?' and the guy quickly climbed down the stairs before running off." [Radar Online]
• Leelee Sobieski is engaged to menswear designer Adam Kimmel. [Us]
• Ivanka Trump gushes about her new fiance Jared Kushner: "Jared is my best friend for many reasons, largely because I've allowed him to see who I truly am and he still loves me... He's a bit of a hero of mine. His ability to remain focused - he lacks an anxiety that's natural for someone his age handed so much responsibility … Sometimes I catch myself looking at him and being thankful that I have grown to a level of personal maturity that I would value so much the qualities he has." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Ivanka Trump's mother Ivana Trump says, "I am so thrilled about Ivanka's engagement. She and Jared have been a serious couple for a long time, and their happiness has grown as their relationship has deepened." [People]
• Oprah's ratings have slipped by nearly a third since 2004. Some suggest people are suddenly tired of her after 20 years and others think it's an Obama backlash... since Obama is so unpopular right now. [N.Y. Post]
• John Goodman will star in The Station a new FOX comedy about CIA agents trying to install a new dictator in Central America. Sounds hilarious! [Media Week]
• Adrian Grenier showed up late to Live With Regis And Kelly yesterday. "I didn't realize it was live! I thought they just tape it," he said. [The Observer]
• Russell Crowe is in negotiations to reprise his role of Jack Aubrey for a Master and Commander sequel. [Yahoo]
• Mischa Barton may be released from psychiatric evaluation on Saturday. "A 5150 is considered a psychiatric emergency, when a person is deemed a danger to themselves, to others or is gravely disabled," says a psychiatrist who doesn't treat her. "A serious risk of suicide is a primary reason for the hold, as well as those suffering from severe depression or schizophrenia." [People]
• Jon Gosselin has moved into a two bedroom apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side. [People]
• Russell Simmons says his favorite New Yorker is Rev. Al Sharpton. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Here's an analysis of why the ads for Funny People mention that it's a Judd Apatow film but don't print Adam Sandler or Seth Rogan's names. [L.A. Times]
• Kid Rock debuted his American Badass Beer at a his concerts in Detroit this week. He said, "I'm American, that's what I like to drink, and from looking around the parking lot before my shows, I know that's what my fans drink." [UPI]
• Derek and Julianne Hough both received Emmy nominations for a dance they choreographed and performed on Dancing With the Stars I can't think of a better person to be nominated with," said Julianne. "My first time being nominated for an Emmy last year was surreal and awesome, but this time around is more special because Derek and I choreographed to fit our personalities and not the celebrities we dance with on the show." [People]
• Q: You do "hot topics." Doesn't that come from The View?
  Wendy Williams: Yeah. They're the topics and they're hot. What else would I call them?
  Q: You also have a member of the audience introduce you, just like Rosie O'Donnell did.
  Wendy Williams: Are you accusing me of being a thief? Rosie's not using it anymore. Stop being so observant! [Newsweek]
• Marc Anthony scheduled a news conference with the Miami Dophins for next Tuesday. When Gloria Estefan arranged a similar news conference last month she announced that she was becoming a minority owner. [Yahoo]
• Here's the first image from the Broadway production of After Miss Julie, which Sienna Miller and Jonny Lee Miller will star in this fall. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Did you know Vin Diesel has been working behind the camera? He says: "For the mass public I think they probably aren't aware of my directing history but I think when you do the research it becomes super-clear. I think people that know me solely for XXX or Fast And Furious might be a little surprised but I directed a short film called Multi-Facial that was in Cannes," the actor explained. [The Star]
• Taylor Lautner says of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: "The whole cast is really close. It would be difficult for our characters if we weren't. It's a love triangle, and we need to understand each other. So the fact that we're close and can talk things through in rehearsals, and if we're out at dinner, we'll just randomly start talking about the scene we're shooting the next day . . . If we weren't able to do those things, I don't know where we'd be. [The L.A. Times]
• Here's a video of Stephan Jenkins of Third Eye Blind performing a song he says is about being in love with a lesbian [Gothamist]
• Zooey Deschanel says of the soundtrack to 500 Days of Summer: "If they were bonding over some shitty band, that would actually make me close the script. But the fact that they liked music that was approved by me, because they're bonding over the Smiths, I was, like, ‘Well, obviously!'" [Rolling Stone]
• Zooey Deschanel gives a more detailed assessment of the soundtrack to 500 Days of Summer here: [Esquire]
• "When I first started acting and auditioning, people wanted me to be as generic as possible. When you're going out for the part of 'High School Girl #2,' people want you to be a stereotype. But I was never easily categorized. It was always difficult to reduce me to two sentences. Casting agents don't want unique-they want, 'That girl looks like a bitch,' or, 'That girl looks like a princess.' Eventually, though, you end up building your career on things that are different from other people, but in the beginning it was frustrating. I just try to be myself and as honest as possible-but I have limits." — Zooey Deschanel. [Black Book Magazine]
• An Oompa Loompah was detained by security guards at Florida's Westfield Broward mall earlier today. He had been promoting an upcoming comedy show, but a security officer cuffed him and detained him for several hours. Onlookers laughed and screamed, "Let the Oompa Loompa go!" [Peopel]

• The police were called to Lindsay Lohan's home at about 4 a.m. yesterday after her neighbors complained that she was playing loud music. She was ticketed for being excessively noisy. [TMZ]

• Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett have been together since 1980 and now he says, "I've asked her to marry me, again, and she's agreed." O'Neal made the announcement during an interview with Barbara Walters for Friday's 20/20. He added, "We will, as soon as she can, say yes. Maybe we can just nod her head." [People]
• Farrah has been hospitalized for at least the past two week in Los Angeles. "There was a moment last week when she was supposed to be released and was going home but things changed," says the source. Her publicist would only say, "She is still being treated for her condition." [People]
• As mentioned earlier, Chris Brown has made a plea deal and will serve five years of probation for assaulting Rihanna. Brown plead guilty to felony assault and was ordered to enroll in an anti-domestic violence program, perform 180 days of community service, and to have his travel vetted by a probation officer. He was ordered to stay away from Rihanna. [CNN]
• Though Rihanna had not requested a restraining order, Judge Patricia Schnegg called her in to the courtroom after Chris Brown left and said she had issued a stay-away order. Brown and Rihanna must stay at least 50 yards from each other, except at industry events where the distance is reduced to 10 yards. It's not a one way order, so Rihanna will be in violation if she gets too close to Chris. [MSNBC]
• As reported over the weekend, after 16 years of marriage, Jane Kaczmarek and Bradley Whitford are divorcing. And when asked about her love life in a recent interview, Kaczmarek said, "That's a big no comment." [More]
• Mercy James has been spotted outside Madonna's London home being held by a nanny. A friend of the family says, "The next few days are all about cocooning Mercy from the world and getting her used to being around her new family." [The Mirror]
• Carrie Prejean says the Miss California USA organization knew she was planning to write a book, but now a lawyer for the organization says, "There is no dispute that, although some discussions about the possible terms and conditions of a future agreement allowing Ms. Prejean to write a book were in progress," the organizers never "gave written consent to any such book, print article, or similar publication. Accordingly, her participation in the admitted book deal unquestionably violates the contract and appears to be a knowing and deliberate violation." [U.S. News]
• Meg Ryan will guest star in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm's seventh season, which will also feature a reunion of the Seinfeld cast. [The Sun]
• Beyonce's record label says she's not to blame for the cancellation of a launch party this weekend for her North American tour. Music World/Columbia Records released a statement saying the New York party was cancelled because of a breach of contract by the party promoter, saying Beyonce "was never scheduled to perform, but was to serve as a co-host and introduce singer/songwriter Solange's performance. Patrons were falsely promised a performance by Beyonce." [UPI]
• Bret Michaels has rescheduled two solo performance dates due to the injuries he received at the Tony Awards. A post on his website said, "The trauma caused by the now infamous accident at the Tonys continues to take its toll on Mr. Michaels throat as well as other physical conditions," and continues, "He has been shot at, had broken bones, severe lacerations and contusion not to mention crucial high and low blood sugar levels due to his condition as a juvenile diabetic yet has always done his best to make his way to the stage." [Rolling Stone]
• In this video Megan Fox talks about why she snubbed a teenage boy trying to give her a rose. She says she says it was dark and she didn't see him and apologized saying, "I'm sorry sweet boy I would never do that to you." [Perez Hilton]
• Kate Hudson has been spotted in the back of A-Rod's chauffeured car leaving various parties in Miami. [Palm Beach Post]
• VH1 has officially announced that Jessica Simpson will star in a new series called The Price of Beauty, which "takes Jessica all over the world to meet every day women. She may also discover some local pop culture icons on their own quests for beauty along the way. Jessica will study the local fashions, dietary fads and beauty regimes and even participate in some of the extreme practices she discovers." [PR Newswire]
• Perez Hilton has posted a video explaining his side of the attack that took place in Toronto. He claims Will.I.Am's manager hit him in the face "two or three times." [Perez Hilton]
• But if you don't want to take Perez Hilton's word for it, you can watch footage of the incident at the link. It starts in the middle of an argument between Hilton and Will.I.Am. Hilton is heard telling him, "you're not a fucking artist ... you're a fucking faggot." [TMZ]
• Patti LuPone stopped singing during a show once again, because she thought someone was taking a picture. At a performance last night she stopped singing and asked an audience member holding an electronic device, "What were you doing? I promise not to be mad at you. Just tell me, what were you doing - videoing? Taking photos? Texting? I really want to know." The fan did not respond and Lupone threatened to have him thrown out if it happened again, then continued singing "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina." [The N.Y. Times]
• Mel Gibson's girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, has released a video for her new single Say My Name. You can check it out here: [People]
• The IRS says Kevin Federline owes $14,371 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• Russell Crowe has responded to the rumors that he and director Ridley Scott are fighting on the set of Robin Hood saying, "Ridley and I have never made a secret of the way we work, we agree to disagree because in the calculation of both our opinions we create the best idea. There's no yelling, no diva bullshit, we are doing our jobs to the best of our abilities and try to do something special every day." [The Daily Express]
• In this week's People Chace Crawford mentioned Ed Westwick's "Velcro patch of chest-hair." Westwick responded, saying, "I'm just not a pretty little boy, now am I?" [People]
• Rita Wilson has dropped her lawsuit against Melissa Pearl, in which she claimed that a $75,000 1962 Beatles poster she bought for Tom Hanks did not come with the proper authentication. Pearl produced a document from Sotheby's proving it's authenticity so the case was dropped. [TMZ]
• Here's a lengthy interview with Justin Kirk of Weeds on what to expect on the new season. [E!]
• Robin Wright Penn was interviewed for the magazine Psychologies after her first reconciliation with Sean Penn, but after they separated for a second time earlier this year. "It feels good now," she said. "If it didn't I wouldn't still be here." She added, "All marriages have their phases. It's life. We go through it, if we're married long enough. If you're lucky you grow and you work it out." [People]
• Spencer and Heidi Pratt are coming back to I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here. They're on a plane right now heading back to Costa Rica. [TMZ]
• Stephen Baldwin quit I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! after insects laid their eggs under his skin. He explains: "I suffered in the first eight days of production, while in the jungle, over 125 insect bites on my body... and two of them, much to my surprise, became quite lumpy initially. Within about 72 hours they were these half dollar-sized lumps under my skin that were probably about an inch thick... So they tested these things and sure enough, Stevie B was 'pregnant.'" Medics removed the larvae from his skin. [Star Pulse]

[Wales, June 16. Image via INF]

[London, May 29. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz are reportedly planning a "commitment ceremony" in front of a rabbi at the Kabbalah Center in New York. Oooh, and a source says:

"Lourdes mocks him by calling him The Babysitter, because he is so young. She likes him, but also likes winding him up." Hee hee, "get off the babysitter!" [Mirror]

• Robin Wright Penn talked to Gotham magazine for the June issue — obviously before Sean filed for divorce — and said: marriage is "real work, but that's what you sign up for. And it pays off beautifully, it really does. The outcome, the reward is so great because then your love grows out of those hard times." Now Sean Penn is allegedly seeing Natalie Portman. So. [Page Six]
• Oprah! At Duke! Doing a commencement speech! And getting an honorary degree! She told students to "stand proudly in your own shoes while you help others stand in theirs." And! "One of the best ways to enhance your own life is to enhance somebody else's." [Breitbart]
• Oprah sent a film crew over to Blackburn, Scotland, to Susan Boyle's house. In the interview, which will be broadcast today, Boyle says: "I am not lonely. Everyone has been so nice. I've got millions of new friends now." [Telegraph]
• Paris Hilton spent a romantic week in Anguilla with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, and updated her Twitter page constantly, with messages like "Love being in Love :) Best feeling in the world" and "Playing some golf together :) Golfing is fun" and "Loving life with my love" and "Lovers in paradise" and "My smooches from a secret island." Lots of pix of her kissing the dude, too. [Daily Mail]
• Christian Bale's part in Terminator Salvation was originally much smaller; the film's main character is not actually John Conner, played by Bale, but Marcus Wright, played by Sam Worthington. Director McG said the script had to be adjusted to "integrate" Bale more. [Hollywood Reporter]
• When Jennifer Lopez's daughter Emme was about three weeks old, she discovered a lump on the child's head. "We both got very nervous, very very nervous, and I just remember my heart sinking to my feet," Lopez says. "I looked at [Marc] and I said, 'You know if anything happens, I'm not going to be okay, you know that right?'" Emme was fine but Lopez was inspired to work with Childrens Hospital Los Angeles to help medical services to the less fortunate. "I started to wonder," Lopez said, "what if I couldn't afford a doctor, or receive the medicines, the procedures?" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Who were the stars at the White House Correspondents Dinner? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Eva Longoria Parker, Owen Wilson, Donatella Versace, Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, Kerry Washington, Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick, Kenneth Cole, Jason Wu and "a smattering of mayors, diplomats and ambassadors." Donatella went in 2008 and says ths year "was much better." Then she told everyone to "get ooooout." [WWD]
• More from the WHCD! Rahm Emanuel seated next to Barbara Walters! Jon Hamm was there! Donatella Versace was hanging out with Jonathan Rhys Meyers! Political pundit Craig Crawford asked Jason Bateman a question! Ludacris had a "long talk" with Bill O'Reilly! [Politico]
• According to this report, at the WHCD, "No matter who's in the room, the Obamas outshine all challengers." [MSNBC]
• Noted political junkie Ben Affleck missed the WHCD! He was sick. [mediabistro.com]
• New York Mag: How did you deal with everyone in the room eating steak?
  Kate Hudson: Oh, I ate it.
  Stella McCartney: If you just give up meat one day a week, it has, like, the biggest impact environmentally.
  Kate: Well, I'm interested in change.
  Stella: You can do that! Unless you're like some kind of caveman carnivore...Or are you a cavewoman?
  Kate: Uh, me? I don't eat meat every day! Are you out of your mind? I'd have a heart attack!
  Stella: Jolly. So she's fine. She's good. [NY Mag]
• Re: Rihanna nude pix: This paper points out that she has many tattoos, none of which are see in the images purported to be her. [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown says he didn't leak the Rihanna pix. [The Sun]
• All that cardio pays off between the sheets! A stripper says Michael Phelps "should get another Olympic gold for marathon love-making!" because "the sex lasted for about three hours." [NY Post]
• Miss California Carrie Prejean's lawyer sent a cease and desist letter to the website hosting her underwear pix saying she was underage and that one shot is a Photoshop manipulation; the site has responded: "Your client's publicity rights are substantially inferior to the right of the public to consider, discuss, agree and/or disagree with Ms. Prejean's actions and views. This is not conduct for which your client's consent is required." Oh snap. [TMZ]
• By the by, Carrie Prejean has recorded a phone message for National Organization for Marriage, asking people to donate money and sign a petition against gay marriage. [TMZ]
• And! Those "topless" pix? Taken well-after Carrie Prejean turned 18, not when she was 17, as she claims. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse had a crappy performance at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival, but the tourism minister says: "It's a shame it did not go better but we will bring her back in the future. We fully support her and hope she can get well. We have a lot of admiration for her." [The Sun]
• Swine flu be damned! Hugh Jackman will head to Mexico to promote Wolverine. [Mirror]
• Quentin Tarantino talks Inglourious Basterds, 70% of which is in French or German. "When you see the Germans speaking English with a German accent or sounding like British thespians, it just seems very quaint," he says. "That's one thing I don't want this film to have." Execs at the studio are not worried about the heavy use of subtitles: "Tarantino is a universal language," said one. [NY Times]
• Rachel McAdams has an environmental website, green is sexy, and says: "It's funny because when people come to my house they think everything is broken because I don't have anything plugged in. Guests are always saying things like: 'You need a new light bulb here' and I go around to the lamp and say: 'You've got to just plug it in!"' [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "WARNING: This may hurt your eyes... Beth Ditto strips down to her Spanx." Eh, fuck you, Daily Fail. [Daily Mail]
• Kim Kardashian is getting married! Eventually. "So many people rush into it and it's all this pressure because they see we've been together for a while," she says of beau Reggie Bush, whom she has been dating since 2007. "But, we're heading there. When we're ready, we'll know." [People]
• Boy George has been released from jail — early — and lost a few pounds during the four months he was in the slammer. [Daily Mail]
• This report says Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell are secretly engaged but don't want to make a formal announcement lest Heather Mills make some kind of scene; McCartney's rep is quoted about the rumor, saying, "There is no truth in it whatsoever. They have not become engaged in any shape or form. It is utter nonsense." [Daily Express]
• Jerry Hall was writing an autobiography — being called an "explosive, tell-all account" of her life with Mick Jagger — but the book has been abandoned. Apparently the publishers were "disappointed" with the lack of Jagger dirt. In JERRY'S autobiography. There was, however, a lot of gossip about Carla Bruni… [Daily Mail]
• Bjork sang with the Dirty Projectors at "her smallest gig of the year" Friday night in a bookstore in NYC, in front of 300 people. [NY Times]
• "Serial dater Geri Halliwell's relationship gets serious as she meets aristocrat lover's parents." [Daily Mail]
• Nineteen year old JoJo Simmons, son of Rev Run Simmons of Run-DMC, was caught rolling a joint in his BMW and has been arrested and charged with a bunch of stuff. [UPI]
• Awww, on Mother's Day, Florence Henderson, aka Carol Brady, says, "I get mail from all over the world, 122 countries." [UPI]
• Shirley Jones, 75, who was the mom on The Partridge Family, may pose nude for Playboy. Her husband/manager says, "Mature women are relevant." [Page Six]
• Is Kylie Minogue gonna get hitched to her hot hot Spanish boyfriend? [Daily Mail]
• Nia Vardalos talks about becoming a mom of a toddler — overnight. She adopted a 3-year-old from a foster family agency and says her daughter "arrived without an instruction manual. I didn't know if she had a sleep schedule, food allergies – there wasn't even a note pinned to her shirt. She just walked in and looked up at me, like "got lunch?" [People]
• Barbra Streisand's personal assistant: Busted on drug charges in Malibu on Wednesday. Cops found cocaine, methamphetamines and a weapon in her car. Sometimes people who help people who need people need a bump. [LA Times]
• Label exec Irv Gotti says he is dropping Ashanti from The Inc. They haven't been on speaking terms for some time; in 2007 Gotti told Wendy Williams he and Ashanti had sex even though he was a married man. [MTV]
• Jane's Addiction frontman Perry Farrell tore his calf muscle during the first song in a concert in Atlanta. He finished the show and then took an ambulance to the hospital; doctors are telling him to stay off the leg for a few days. [AP]
• If you have £500,000, you can buy David Beckham's "modest" childhood home in east London. [BBC News]
• Blind item! "Which married TV actor used the Correspondents Dinner as an excuse to meet up with his occasional mistress?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wasn't familiar with rugby league beforehand and I don't profess to be an expert now. But everything I do know about rugby league, I know from Russell Crowe." — Rachel McAdams, who became friends with the Aussie while shooting State Of Play and even watched a game with him via satellite at three in the morning. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I wanted audiences to think, ‘This guy could easily rip someone's head off', so I worked hard to achieve that physique. I ran and had to lift very heavy weights. Every morning I'd get up and there was a part of me that just wanted to collapse, but you just have to keep going, it's full-on testosterone. When I'm training, I'm fairly obnoxious, I really make a big thing of it and there is a lot of noise. I play driving music like Metallica that I would never otherwise listen to. I consulted a bodybuilder and what I realized is that how you look is 30% how you train and 70% how you eat. No carbs after lunch. Six to eight chicken breasts a day, two at each sitting, 4,000 calories in total. I really enjoyed eating pizza at the end of the movie, trust me, and I had half a dozen beers on the final day of shooting." — Hugh Jackman, on achieving the look of Wolverine. [Mirror]
• "I knew I had to build a body, and I ate a lot of wheat and chain-smoked. That will do it! The woman had to feel like she really had been drinking for 25 years. Now, I have not been drinking for 25 years. I'm a relatively healthy individual, so the first thing I had to do was make myself look like I was super-wrecked, which took a bit of time." — Tilda Switon, on playing a "ferociously dedicated alcoholic" in Julia. [USA Today]
• "I see Amelia as that fast-talking, Katharine Hepburn type of woman. She's powerful and authoritative with some chutzpah. I am much more cautious, I don't take as many physical risks as her. I see her as a woman who's ahead of her time but also having fun, embracing that sense of adventure; it's about believing in yourself and your passions and making the most of the time that you have in life." — Amy Adams, on playing Amelia Earhart in Night A The Museum 2. [Daily Mail]
• "Jack is gun crazy. Over here you can buy real guns. I have this horrible thing: I can see this movie in my head where he's messing around and shoots himself in the foot. Sharon goes to me, ‘Oh darling, he's been surrounded by guns all his life.' But there is a difference between an air rifle and a 45-calibre pistol. I said to Jack, ‘If someone got into your house would you be willing to use the gun?' He said, ‘Sure.'" — Ozzy Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• "We visited Panzi Hospital where IMC is training doctors and which has become world-renowned because of its incredible work with thousands of women who are in need of surgical repair for a condition called 'fistula,' a severe gynecologic rupture. It's a frighteningly common condition in eastern DRC because of lack of obstetric care, and the epidemic of rape. Panzi Hospital's Founder and Director is Dr. Denis Mukwege, often referred to as "the savior of women " and was named by a prestigious Nigerian newspaper as African of the Year in 2008. He shared some of his experiences with us and as you can imagine, they are horrific. The youngest rape victim he has had to treat was a three year old girl." — Sienna Miller, who is in the Congo, working with International Medical Corps. [Huffington Post]

[Image by Steven Klein via W Magazine]

• El oh el: It appears none of the celebrity weeklies have bought exclusive rights to pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding this weekend.

A source says they're not worried, because chances are, the pix will end up in all the mags: "They'd rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life & Style than be on the cover of a magazine like OK! that isn't going to sell. They need to make money, and so does the magazine. The formula is changing," spills a source. [MSNBC Scoop]

• In this video of concert footage, Britney's extensions get ripped out of her head and left behind on a couch. [Perez Hilton]
• Kudos to TMZ for the headline, "Britney Weaves It All On Stage." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen celebrated the end of her tour by having a "massive ice cream fight" in her dressing room. But she paid the clean-up bill: "Cost me $2,000. End of tour, time to get mashed." [The Sun]
• In case you forgot that Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz has a job, he totally walked the runway in a Jeffrey Fashion Cares fashion show. How do we feel about those white trousers? [WWD]
• Even though Miley Cyrus is with Justin Gaston, is she still hung up on her ex, Nick Jonas? Were they making out recently? Are they MFEO (made for each other)? [Gatecrasher]
• Jay Leno, who hasn't missed work in years, checked himself into a hospital with a "mystery illness." [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton's "BFF," Brittany Flickinger, was in a car crash in Hollywood last night; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and slammed her head into the windshield. Luckily, she escaped with only a chipped bone in her leg. [TMZ]
• Behold: Video of Justin Timberlake, in foxy glasses, talking about his mancrush on LeBron James: "He just lights me up!" He also declares Caddy Shack as the best sports movie ever. [Rolling Stone]
• Ashton Kutcher's Twitter can now be considered a place to break new artists; he wrote about an unsigned singer/songwriter named Alex Highton and now the guy's MySpace is blowing up. [Telegraph]
• Guess who stars in one of Kanye West's next videos? Rihanna. Yeezy says, "She's an amazing talent…Collaborating with her is always a pleasure!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Amy Winehouse's dad flew to St. Lucia yesterday to check on the singer. Will they go horseback riding together? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé wants to do Broadway in a couple of years, when she's settled down and had some rugrats with Jay-Z: "It's my ideal job," she explains. "I'll be able to go to the theater every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food — maybe I'll know how to cook by then — and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian on Miss California, Carrie Prejean: "I don't agree with her narrow mindedness and neither do a lot of people… Everyone has the right to be happy and be treated equally and I think not allowing gay marriage just kind of puts us back." But KK also says: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stood up for what she believes in so she should be happy with that backlash." [People]
• Is Pam Anderson down and out? Or is Courtney Love high? Wait. Don't answer that. Courtney says: "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu." [Page Six]
• This piece about Russell Crowe begins: "He is a man's man - or, rather, he is the kind of man in whom shabby, ageing, overweight, altogether untidy and unresolved males can see their manly image. In other words, Russell Crowe seems more than happy taking very little care of himself, his appearance or his 'glamour.'" Why don't you tell us how you really feel? [Guardian]
• Jerry Seinfeld's grandparents arrived in this country via Ellis Island, and their story will be in the spotlight on May 19, when the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation bestows a "family heritage" award on Seinfeld. [NY Times]
• Parker Posey is no longer dating Keanu Reeves and has moved on to a graphic designer and sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. As seen in this picture, they're super happy and adorbs. [NY Mag]
• Aww, pictures of Slumdog Millionaire stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto nuzzling up to each other over lunch in Israel — where Pinto is filming — will melt your cold, tiny heart. [Daily Mail]
• This report calls Kate Middleton Prince William's "bride in waiting," and notes that it's been discovered that she's related to Swallows And Amazons creator Arthur Ransome. [Daily Express]
• Blogger Julia Allison lives in the same apartment building as Rosie O'Donnell. Wednesday she posted a Twitter which read: "Holy shit. My neighbor Rosie O'Donnell has been having a knock down drag out screaming match with Kelli for the last hour. Sad. :( " Anywho, JA deleted the post, maybe because it's an invasion of privacy, but it's sorta too late. [Ed note: This will be the only mention of Ms. Allison on this blog for all of 2009.] [Gawker]
• Dane Cook was on Larry King Live, talking about his half-brother and former manager who embezzled millions from him: "It's a terrible betrayal. But hopefully justice will be served and I can move on with my life." [ET]
• Sniffle: Elton John, Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger have lost "huge chunks" of their personal fortunes due to the economic crisis. [Reuters]
• Stephen Dorff has joined the cast of the porn industry comedy Born To Be A Star, which is produced and co-written by Adam Sandler. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which closeted - and married - actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff." [Gatecrasher]
• "Although I'm her friend, [I don't want to defend her to her detractors] because that's their right as well. They feel really strongly about their opinion for pro-gay rights, and that's great." — Miss USA on Miss California. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized I was spending hours and hours in the middle of the night signing autographs. Unless I had assistants forging letters and signatures I knew I couldn't continue. So I posted a message on the internet saying: 'If I can't do it honestly, I won't do it any more.'" — Viggo Mortensen, on answering fan mail. [Daily Mail]
• "He called me and said, 'You know let's do it right away.' It was really emotional. I think the only way he could have come back was right after because his family was all there to support his boys. Liam is heroic. He came back and finished. I think he's trying to absorb [what's happened] ... He's suddenly a single parent with absolutely no preparation for that. But he is surrounded by people that really love him. There is a lot of support." — Director Atom Egoyan, on Liam Neeson, who returned to the set of the film Chloe days after his wife Natasha Richardson died. [People]
• "We're just extremely careful with our shit. I keep a CD with me, I'm the only one who usually has a CD. Maybe me and Dre… Other than that, nobody has it." — Eminem, on how his new album avoided getting leaked. [Rolling Stone]
• "Watching it was horribly unhealthy for me. You think that would help keep me sober, you know seeing myself as this raving lunatic...It absolutely triggered these crazy urges to get loaded." — Steve-O on watching his upcoming documentary about his addiction and recovery. [E!]
• "For some reason people think like if you tell someone they're too thin that's OK. But if you tell someone they're too heavy that's insulting… It hurts either way. I'm the same weight I was before I was pregnant. I've been pregnant for two years in a row. I'm the same weight I was on 90210. I'm the same weight I was before I met Dean and we got married. It's the same." — Tori Spelling. [AP]
• "If you read some of his early-life autobiography, it's horrible... the amount of mental anguish he has to go through, just to have any kind of even vaguely sexual relationship. It's really depressing what he's going through in his head. Dali had a massive fear of penetration – penetrating someone or being penetrated… [As for the love scenes with a man,] I think girls almost really like watching something like that. From what I've read, people really get excited about that – it sounds really sexy!" — Robert Pattinson on playing Salvador Dali. [Independent]
• "Marijuana has always been that drug that united people. It's always been on the verge of being legal. It's hardly a drug really. When people look at marijuana, they look at it as an enjoyment of connecting." — Redman. [NY Daily News]
• "Most of the time, songs that I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less. 'Love Story' I wrote on my bedroom floor in about 20 minutes. When I get on a roll with something, it's really hard for me to put it down unfinished. — From "10 Questions For Taylor Swift." [Time]
• "I don't even know what 'tweeting' means ... but it sounds dirty!" — Michelle Trachtenberg. [Gatecrasher]

• Gossipeuse Janet Charlton claims Jennifer Hudson is knocked up. JHud is currently on tour; her fiancé, "Punk" from I Love New York, is training to become a professional wrestler. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]

• Amy Winehouse's horribly burned leg is due to a scalding pasta water incident. They tried to make me cook fusilli… [The Sun]
• Rihanna went out clubbing in L.A. and danced and flirted with basketball star Baron Davis. Apparently the DJ said something like Chris Brown should get his ass kicked; the whole crowd cheered — Rihanna included. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Madonna bring Mercy home? Three judges on Malawi's Supreme Court of Appeal will decide on May 4. [The Sun]
• Michelle Rodriguez is a pretty awesome bridesmaid! She broke up a bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was "fat and had a small dick." Then when the dude wanted a lady from the bridal party to kneel for him, Michelle said: "That's bullshit. He should be kneeling for her; this is a bachelorette party." Next? "As the stripper began gyrating and pushing his crotch into the bride-to-be's face, Rodriguez yelled, 'This is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me.' She left in a huff." [Page Six]
• Poor Ann Curry is being sent to both Iraq and Afghanistan war zones. Sarah Haskins was right; the Today show is trying to kill her. [AP]
• Lady GaGa has a new boyfriend and his name is Speedy. Of course. [In Touch]
• Jennifer Garner has been seeing a sex counselor, so she can learn to please her man. A source says: "Ben's great, but he can be very insecure. He likes Jen to play the devoted wife all the time." So Jen sees Dr. Holly Hein for tips of keeping the romance alive and dealing with Ben's "need for attention." "Jennifer doesn't want to lose him. She's in this for the long haul." [Star]
• Here's video of Jen Garner and Matthew McConaughey eating cupcakes while promoting Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past. Warning: It's incredibly dull. [E!]
• The mother and stepmother of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali had a "catfight" in the street yesterday. In Mumbai, India. And there are pictures in this UK paper. Seriously, what the hell is going on with this poor child? [The Sun]
• Now that singing sensation Susan Boyle is suddenly famous, she has purchased a new fence to surround her house and get some goddamn privacy. [The Sun]
• Susan Boyle's former singing teacher is worried the overnight sensation will damage her voice. [Telegraph]
• Simon Cowell on Susan Boyle: "It had been a long day in Scotland. We'd seen no talent at all. All I knew about her was a name on a sheet of paper. She came out and she looked a bit odd, and the dress looked odd. I gave her five seconds at most. But then she started singing, and within two seconds everything changed." [NY Times]
• Is Paula Abdul going to get up out of her judge's chair and perform on American Idol? She's been dropping hints! [LA Times]
• An "insider" says John "The Player" Mayer has been "recording in a studio and coming on to almost every woman in the vicinity." Plus! He "goes on and on… about how clingy and needy Jen is." Apparently The Player claims Jen Aniston was super emotionally dependent, which is maybe what an immature commitmentphobe might say, so who knows. [MSNBC]
• The US Army is on Twitter — clearly they have nothing better to do — and they want to knock Ashton Kutcher out of the top spot. We're still at war, right? [NY Daily News]
• There is "intense puppy-proofing" going on at the White House, thanks to Bo Obama. [NY Daily News]
• Girls, you know you better watch out: Lauryn Hill will headline the Stockholm Jazz Festival in July. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Debra Messing will be back at NBC with an untitled comedy; the plot? She'll play a laid-off CEO who "is as ill-prepared to be a full-time wife and mother as her husband is to provide for the family." Hilar! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• A snapshot for the ages: M.I.A., Kanye West, Aziz Ansari and Zoe Kravitz. [The Life Files]
• David Blaine has worked his magic on French model Alizee Guinochet; they're engaged. [Page Six]
• How much would you pay to have lunch with Rosie O'Donnell and Star Jones? Proceeds go to charity… [Page Six]
• Oksana Pochepa, who still claims she is the mystery girl in Mel Gibson's life, keeps a sex diary "with ratings for all her men." This is a combo of slut-shaming and possible lies; kudos to the paper for keeping it classy! [The Sun]
• Perez Hilton went to Criss Angel's show in Las Vegas and Tweeted that it sucked; Criss Angel made and announcement from the stage, saying "We have the world's biggest douchebag asshole in the house!" Now Cirque production company has apologized to Perez but Criss Angel has not. And writing gossip about Perez makes the brain ache. [LVR, LA Times]
• Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg will star in The Fighter, the tale of Boston boxer "Irish" Mickey Ward and his half-brother Dicky Eklund. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe was on Letterman talking about trying to save Steve Irwin's wildlife reserve — and block a mining operation — in Australia. [News.com.au]
• A lawsuit has been filed against Stephenie Meyer by a former friend who claims Meyer stole her vampire idea. But don't worry, Twihards, it won't halt production of New Moon. Sparkly vampires and Native American werewolves for everyone. [MSNBC Scoop]
• We've heard this before, but here it is again: Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford may replace Zac Efron in the Footloose remake. Possibly because he has the same sideswept haircut? [Mirror]
• This report claims Jessica Biel is so good at pole dancing in her new flick Powder Blue, she's a "natural born stripper." [NY Daily News]
• Amber Tamblyn says that since her new show The Unusuals is shot on location in New York, in between shoots, cast members hit local stores and shop: "No one goes back to their trailers." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Uh-oh: The president of Oprah Winfrey's cable network — due to launch next year — resigned yesterday. [LA Times]
• Woody Allen refused to take park in an "I Love New York" ad campaign, maybe because NYC has so many American Apparels? [NY Daily News]
• With lyrics about suffering and chains, the new Depeche Mode album is "like one long infommercial for B&D." But: "all this would seem creepy, instead of sexy, if the music weren't so hot." [NY Daily News]
• The Cure closed the Coachella festival, but organizers had to pull the plug on the band after 2 1/2 hours: "By the third encore, singer-guitarist Robert Smith informed the remaining audience that he was told he could do only one song but played three anyway. The final number, "Boys Don't Cry," turned into a sing-along as the video screen went dark and the sound system began to power down." [Reuters]
• Blind item: "Which rehabbed actor is back on the sauce? He just can't keep his hands off the booze when he's in L.A.!" [Gatecrasher]
• "You get the financing together and I'll work on the script... I would say [Elaine would] just be getting out of prison." — Julia Louis-Dreyfus on doing a Seinfeld movie. [Daily Express]
• "I most admire Matt Damon and Michael J Fox. I just saw Rounders and it just reminds me. Matt Damon is someone who I want to be. I just want to make his smart choices." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "We definitely don't receive a $100,000 to show up at nightclubs anymore. So that's one huge life-changing difference. It makes me miss the old days, back when Paris Hilton and these fools were cashing in like a gold rush every year." — Spencer Pratt, on how the economy is affecting his life. [LAist]
• "Go to an area where the unemployment rate is the best. Go into a field that you love, but at the same time, that has potential. So many people study the wrong things, they go into the wrong fields, and no matter what they do, it's always going to be a battle throughout life. So find a great area, even if it means that you have to move your family. Find a great area, and a business that works." — Donald Trump's advice for those fired or laid-off. [Time] 
 

• "I lead such a boring life, nobody pays attention... and if somebody does take a picture, it's like I'm eating a burrito, in my sweats, and my mouth is open. It's just — I'm kind of a disgusting, boring person so nobody really pays attention!" — Anna Faris. [Mirror]
• "I don't want to get bored, and I don't want the audience to get bored." — Simon Cowell, on whether next season is his last on American Idol. [NY Times]
• "I had to say it as if it was coming to me very easily. I had to research some of [the words] because the acting coach I worked with told me if I really understood what I was talking about, it would come through a little more true." — Lauren Conrad, on her role on Family Guy, which required her to recite "a lot of facts and a lot of big words." [WaPo]

"Hollywood's pool of leading men is getting larger," Cieply writes, "and not necessarily in a good way." He points to stars like Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, and even Hugh Grant, whose dimples "pop out where they used to pop in." It's worth noting that all of these men are in their late 40's-early 50's: as these men age, Cieply admits, their bodies give "glimpses of what age, and perhaps a little inattention, can do to a most admired physique."

Yet even as these older starts put on the pounds, they continue to get work, due to their high profiles, instant name recognition, and ability to draw an audience. Unsurprisingly, female celebrities aren't awarded the same leeway when it comes to weight gain. "Hollywood's women may have weight issues of their own. But it is somehow less noticeable, possibly because actresses who expand do not often get roles to showcase that growth," Cieply writes.

The double-standard may lie in the fact that while Hollywood consistently pumps out starlets to assume the stereotypical roles of sex kitten, ingenue, and America's sweetheart, the same attention is not given to finding bankable male stars, which allows A-list men to enjoy longer careers, as the focus is shifted to their acting, not their looks. Yes, Denzel and Russell have both made splashes as sex symbols over the past 15 years or so, but the Hollywood machine is built in a way to allow men to age somewhat naturally, leaving the "sexiest man alive" titles behind in favor of "Academy Award winner" or "celebrated actor." By contrast, women who gain or lose weight in Hollywood are often bombarded with questions regarding their health, habits, or potential eating disorders. Nobody seems to give 40+ actresses any realistic way to follow their body's natural patterns.

The double-standard also works for men who actually DO lose the weight: Seth Rogen's recent weight loss for his upcoming film, "The Green Hornet," sparked a small controversy regarding the actor's methods to drop the pounds so quickly. Rogen dismissed the rumors and noted that his weight loss was due to "The lamest answer ever—I exercised and I dieted. II personally do not care how I look or physically feel." An actress who dropped the amount of weight Rogen dropped, on the other hand, would be subjected to "OMG ANOREXIA!" headlines, and her body would continue to be scrutinized (as would her methods of weight loss) after releasing a statement similar to Rogen's. For men, it's easier to say, "Oh, I lost this weight for this role. Doesn't it suck? I'll put it back on soon." For women, losing or gaining weight becomes a career-overshadowing event: her worth is connected solely to her looks.

As our current crop of aging A-list celebrities moves through their 40's, 50's, and 60's, it will be interesting to see which celebs maintain a career built on solid roles, and which celebrities fade away due to increasing pressure to remain slim, young-looking, and beautiful. One suspects that the men will surely have an easier time, as Hollywood seems to expect actresses to adapt to the system, but is willing to tweak the system for their male peers.

What's The Skinny On The Heftier Stars? [NYTimes]
Seth Rogen Explains Drastic Weight Loss [USWeekly]