Witness – just for example – Michael Savage, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh, who have recently come under fire for their use of the R-word. Here, according to Media Matters, are a few of the people or things they have recently compared to rapists: healthcare reform; the government of the state of New York; the Democratic party; the media; Nancy Pelosi; President Obama (frequently); and "the homosexual mafia".

Here is a partial list of the people or things these entities are said to be raping: America; American values; the American war in Iraq; the American private sector; Americans in general; the American residents of New York state specifically; and "children's minds". One assumes they are American children. Also, yes, since you asked, the "children's minds" are in fact what is being targeted for rape by the "homosexual mafia", at least according to Michael Savage, because there's really no point, apparently, in defending the age-old stereotype of gay men as child molesters – that might get you in trouble, seeing as how it is blatantly hateful and untrue, when you can just slip it in subliminally with a quick metaphor. (This isn't exactly new ground for Savage: in 2004 he quipped: "When you hear 'human rights,' think gays. When you hear 'human rights,' think only one thing: someone who wants to rape your son.")

Charming. Doyle explains that while Savage, Beck, and Limbaugh generally are not motivated to discuss the prevalence of violence against women, overuse of the rape metaphor ensures that their target audience continues to feed on fear and feel constantly under attack. However, Doyle warns against writing off the commentator's understanding of the seriousness of using rape to describe events outside of a sexually violent context:

It's customary to say that people who misuse "rape" as a metaphor for general unpleasantness don't take rape seriously. But I think Limbaugh, Beck, and Savage take it very seriously. They may not have educated themselves on how rape actually happens; they may not engage in anti-rape activism, and they may not make a point of raising audience members' awareness of actual rapes in the world; they may have less than no time to spare for discussing actual sexual assaults, in their catalogue of imaginary figurative rapes. Still, they trade on the public's terror of rape, and apparently respect the word's power to shock and horrify, if nothing else. Which is why these three leaders of men are working, as hard as possible, to create a mental link between that kind of gut-level fear and any or all progressive initiatives and figures.

In essence - they are very, very aware about how their words can be used to incite fear and revulsion by using a rape metaphor.

Thankfully, these pundits are starting to come under fire for their overuse of the term. Media Matters' video compilation from late last month was damningly to the point, illustrating how rape metaphors are trotted out for their verbal impact. Note all the carefully considered pauses and word stresses:

And, as Doyle points out, they've figured out a loophole:

It only becomes ineffective, really, if you use the word "rape" so often that it loses all meaning or power to shock. Which should be easy for Limbaugh, Beck, and Savage to avoid, given that they rarely speak with as much fervour about actual rapes that happen every day.

Trading On Our Fear Of Rape [The Guardian]

Earlier: Figure Of Speech
Why Do Republicans' Fantasies Involve Sex They Supposedly Abhor?

A poll released by Vanity Fair and 60 Minutes reveals that Rush Limbaugh is considered the most influential conservative voice, by a wide margin:

The radio host was picked by 26 percent of those who responded, followed by Fox News Channel's Glenn Beck at 11 percent. Actual politicians - former Vice President Dick Cheney and former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin - were the choice of 10 percent each.

However, that influence that Limbaugh and Beck enjoy can be transferred to possible candidates in the form of positive coverage and endorsements. The Washington Post sums up the media power dynamics, explaining:

In a new Washington Post poll, Palin beats other GOP leaders on two questions: who best represents the party's core values, and who Republicans would vote for if the presidential nomination battle were held today. But she has particular appeal to the loyal followers of Limbaugh and Beck, two of the most popular conservative talk show hosts in the country.

Overall, 18 percent of Republicans and GOP-leaning independents cited her as the person most representative of the party's core values, the highest percentage among prominent Republican figures. Among those who regularly listen to Limbaugh, however, Palin was cited by 48 percent, and among Beck's viewers, it was 35 percent, far surpassing others.

Interestingly enough, some party members are still lukewarm on Palin, so conservative activists have launched a new campaign - Tricky Dick 2.0 in 2012!

The organization - "Draft Dick Cheney 2012" - launched on Friday, and unveiled their new Web site. Their aim: To convince the former vice president to seek the Republican presidential nomination in the next race for the White House. But there may be a major roadblock to the group's pitch - Cheney himself.

"The 2012 race for the Republican nomination for President will be about much more then who will be the party's standard bearer against Barack Obama, the race is about the heart and soul of the GOP," said Christopher Barron, one of the organizers of the Draft Cheney movement. "There is only one person in our party with the experience, political courage and unwavering commitment to the values that made our party strong – and that person is Dick Cheney."

Sigh.

Matthew Yglesias shares my sentiments:

I know some liberals who are excited about the prospect of a joke candidate like Sarah Palin or Dick Cheney getting the GOP nomination in 2012. Not me. The basic fact of the matter is that power tends to alternate between the two political parties. Ultimately, the nation's interests require both parties to nominate the best people possible. So I hope the Republicans find someone who's very smart and compelling and does an excellent job of identifying and explaining the flaws in Barack Obama's approach. Cheney couldn't possibly win a presidential election . . . unless somehow he could, in which case the country would be set for a world of pain.

Poll: Limbaugh is most influential conservative [AP]
Palin particularly popular among fans of Limbaugh and Beck [Washington Post]
New group tries to convince Cheney to run in 2012 [CNN]
Cheney for President? [Think Progress]

Earlier: Purity Balls: Republican Party Proposes Test For Politicians

• Melanie Griffith's rep confirmed that she has checked into a rehab facility saying, "This is part of a routine plan that was designed between her and her doctors years ago." But sources say husband Antonio Banderas demanded she get sober.

• "Melanie's struggling right now, but Antonio has been checking in on her as much as he is allowed, making sure she gets back on her feet. Without Antonio in her life, I honestly believe Melanie would be dead," says the source. [Star]
• A law enforcement official told the Associated Press that the L.A. County coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death a homicide. The report hasn't been released to the public yet, but forensic tests found that MJ died when propofol mixed with at least two sedatives in his system. It's now even more likely that criminal charges will be filed against Dr. Conrad Murray. [MSNBC]
• According to a search warrant affidavit, Dr. Conrad Murray told the police he had been giving Michael Jackson propofol every night to treat his insomnia. Murray said he only left the room for two minutes to go to the bathroom and when he came back MJ wasn't breathing. [TMZ]
• The law firm that did work for Michael Jackson during his child molestation trial claims the estate still owes them $200,000. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson says Michael Jackson would have loved next month's global tribute concert in Vienna. She says, "An event of this dimension not only keeps Michael's spirit alive, more than that: It gives millions of fans the opportunity to experience his music and celebrate the life of my son." [AP]
• In the video at the link Jasmine Fiore's mother and Robert Hasman, the ex she was texting on the night she was murdered, talk about Ryan Jenkins' suicide. Hasman says, "I was happy that Ryan, that he killed himself." [TMZ]
• Though Ryan Jenkins was found dead in a hotel room in Canada yesterday, police are still looking for the women who allegedly drove him to the hotel, checked him in, paid for three days, and left 20 minutes later. [TMZ]
• At the link are pictures of the hotel room where Jenkins was found, which were taken after the room was cleaned. He was hanging from the coat rack but his feet were touching the ground. [TMZ]
• Police say they have identified the woman but won't reveal her identity. The hotel manager says he's "100% sure" it's Paulina Chmielecka, Jenkins' former fiance, but police say it isn't her and her agent says, "There is no way it can be her because on Friday she was doing a fashion show and Saturday she was filming a cooking show... She's grieving the loss of someone she used to love." [TMZ]
• Police say they are investigating whether the woman could face charges of being an accessory after the fact to a border violation and evading police. [AP]
• At V Festival Amy Winehouse said of ex Blake Fielder-Civil, "He's my man." During a magic show Amy held up an ace and said: "You see this ace card right here, this one is for me and Blake - it's our lucky card, he's my man, we can make it, we're so strong together." [The Mirror]
• Brad Pitt's manager says he was misquoted by a German magazine that reported he called Valkyrie "ridiculous." His manager explains, "Brad has never even seen Valkyrie." [UPI]
• OMG, Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were totally holding hands! "Jen and Gerry went out on Saturday night," says a source,"[they] had cocktails and … They were hand in hand." Does this mean Jen like likes him? [People]
• This latest step in their high school romance makes sense according to another source because "Jennifer won't date a normal guy... She goes after the hottest thing of the moment, what she knows will get her the most time in the spotlight." [Us]
• Britney Spears' ex, Adnan Ghalib, has pled not guilty to hitting a process server who was serving him papers regarding her conservatorship with his car. [TMZ]\
• Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart took a trip on Friday, driving from L.A. to Santa Barbara. An eyewitness said, "Rebecca looked tired and upset." [People]
• "I have cellulite. I admit it," says Cindy Crawford. "Sometimes I just say, 'Screw it, I am going to wear a bikini.'" [People]
• Ugh. An MTV executive says that next season on The Hills, "Heidi and Spencer are entering some interesting new territory of considering parenthood." [People]
• Martina Navratilova is engaged to Russian beauty queen and model Julia Lemigova who was in the news in 2005 when her former lover, Edouard Stern, was murdered by his mistress during sadomasochist sex. [Daily Mail]
• A new Jay-Z song called "Off That" was released this weekend. It includes the lyrics: "Please tell Bill O'Reilly to fall back. Tell Rush Limbaugh to get off my balls. It's 2010, not 1864." [Politico]
• Wanda Sykes says she doesn't regret telling jokes about Rush Limbaugh at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. "I missed the flak because I wasn't even watching television over the next few days. ... But I wouldn't change anything," she says, "I just know a lot of people were in the room, and they were all laughing, so I think there's a little hypocrisy there - people covering their ass." [Politico]
• The View has announced a few more celebrities who will guest host next season while Elisabeth Hasselbeck is on maternity leave, including Meghan McCain, LaToya Jackson, Victoria Beckham, and Kathy Griffin, who apparently isn't banned for life. [The View]
• A&E is being sued over the network's new Steven Seagal reality show because a production company claims the idea was stolen from an idea they pitched for a reality show about Seagal, Chuck Norris, and Jean-Claude Van Damme living together. [TMz]
• Tyra Banks will be in the fourth episode of Gossip Girl this season and will play the late singer and actress Josephine Baker. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Denise Richards says of sending her daughter Sam to school in the fall, "It's bittersweet... Sami starts kindergarten, which I cannot believe, in a couple of weeks. I'm so sad about it." [People]
• "I will always love Chanel and I am completely irrational when it comes to their clothes. I will see a dress and not like it. But then, when I hear it's Chanel, I suddenly have to have it!" — Anne Hathaway [New!]
• Christopher Reeve's son, Matthew Reeve, is training to run the New York City marathon in honor of his father. He says, "I'm constantly grateful and appreciative of being able to do the simplest, most basic functions, and the fact that I have good health and can move normally. That's something I've been more aware of and grateful for since the age of 15 than most people. There is a sense of, well, I can and I should." [N.Y. Times]
• "I don't think a naked body is particularly shocking or interesting. It's not the culture I was raised in. I was not brought up in the United States. I don't share the [attitude] that you can have graphic violence, but – God forbid – you see someone's nipples." — Anna Paquin [People]
• "The thing about vampirism is that it taps into a female point of view – you have an old-fashioned gentleman with manners who is a fucking killer… it's an interesting duality, because in our present society it would be an odd thing for a woman to say, ‘I want my man to be physical with me.' How, as a modern man, can you fucking work that? It's one thing to be polite and gentle… But when do you know it's OK to crawl out of the mud and rape her [as Bill does in one scene]?… It's difficult stuff for a bloke, but a vampire gets away with it…. I think that's the attraction of the show – it's looking back at a romantic time when men were men, but they were still charming." — True Blood's Stephen Moyer [Just Jared]

• While performing stand-up in New York on August 5, Rosie O'Donnell started talking about her stint on The View, which she referred to as The Screw You, and called Elisabeth Hasselbeck "Elisabeth Half-a-brain." But Rosie wasn't done!

• An audience member says, "Rosie said when she first met Elisabeth, she thought she would love her, because they're both Christians... Then she stopped and said, 'But then she turned on me.' Then Rosie called her a 'twat.' O'Donnell then moved on to a different subject, saying she really didn't want to start a new feud, or restart an old one." Too late Rosie! [Fox News]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce will be finalized by the end of the month. Also Hailey Glassman has agreed to do an interview with E!'s Giuliana Rancic on August 17 in a one-hour special at 7pm ET. She's going to stay away from the kids until the divorce is official, but then all bets are off. [Radar Online, Ok]
• This week's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 had only 3.5 million viewers, down 4 million from the week before. [Us]
• Let's hope no one gets in Taylor Lautner's way! "I love that kid," says Kristen Stewart. "I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [People]
• Though it was reported that Jennie Garth, who is married to Twilight's Peter Facinelli said Robert Pattinson was either dating Kristen Stewart or Nikki Reed, rep says she actually said, "I can't say [who Rob's dating]. That will be breaking my promise to my husband. But I do know." [Radar Online]
• This morning on Today, Brad Pitt says he's seen the "Brad Pitt for mayor" shirts many New Orleans resident have been wearing, but he's not considering a run because, "I don't have a chance." [AP]
• Three sources say Dr. Conrad Murray left Michael Jackson alone after giving him propofol to make phone calls on the morning he died. He'd left him alone after giving him the drug before, but not monitoring MJ may legally meet the level of negligence required for an involuntary manslaughter charge. [L.A. Times]
• Michael Jackson and a man named Henry Vaccaro had been fighting over some of MJ's memorabilia, including 26 unreleased songs for years. When two of Jackson's lawyers went to retrieve eight of the items last month Vaccaro said they were missing, but the items were later auctioned off. Police are investigating. [TMZ]
• Motown founder Berry Gordon will write the introduction to the rerelease of Michael Jackson's memoir Moonwalk. [AP]
• Though Amy Winehouse was previously banned from entering the U.S. she still wants to do a tour and her spokesperson said that now, "There is nothing to stop her getting a visa to travel to America." [Contact Music]
• Patrick Swayze was recently hospitalized for a week, possibly because of intestinal bleeding, but he's home now. [Radar Online]
• Madonna is renovating her recently purchased New York townhouse and now huge dumpsters are blocking the entire road. [The Sun]
• If Philadelphia school officials approve, Tony Danza may co-teach 10th grade English at Northeast High School this fall for a reality TV show called Teach on A&E. [AP]
• Billy Mays' health insurance commercial for the iCAN benefit group has been pulled from the air. [TMZ]
• Kourtney Kardashian has revealed that boyfriend Scott Disick is the father of her child. As for how she could have gotten pregnant she said, "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill. I've done that several times and never really thought about it…I know, it's stupid." When she told Disick, "He was like way more like excited than I was. Like he definitely wasn't as nervous and scared." But she's not sure if they'll get married. She says, "We've talked about it, but I feel like there's so much going on that I like can't even go there." [E!]
• Kourtney's mom Kris Jenner says, "I am beyond thrilled and excited and cannot wait to meet my new grandchild! We are truly blessed." [People]
• Sky Blu of the hip-hop group LMFAO has a crush on Khloe Kardashian. [E!]
• Though she initially didn't show much interest in Beatles Rock Band, which will be released in September, Yoko Oko visited Harmonix studios in Boston a few months ago. "She gave the designers hell," said a VP at the company. "We were like, ‘Oh, gee. Thanks'. It would have been nice to know that six months ago, but yes, ‘Thank you very much'." [Mirror]
• Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh are going to guest star in an upcoming episode of Family Guy in which Brian becomes a Republican because he's upset he has nothing to complain about anymore with Barack Obama in the White House. [Politico]
• Toby Keith's new song and music video American Ride may become the theme for town hallers. It makes fun of global warming, terrorists, and illegal immigrants, and the video shows "President Bush in front of the White House giving Christian-right leader Pat Robertson a piggyback ride. Another shows bankers hoisting President Obama in a walk through a destroyed Wall Street district as dollars fall from the sky." Check it out here: [U.S. News & World Report]
• The Miss Universe Organization has releasing topless photos of outgoing Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, to Maxim for the September issue. While previously similar organizations have always condemned contestants for releasing such pictures (Mendoza's arm covers her breasts), a pageant official said, "She just loved the way they turned out and she really wanted to be able to share them. If she had taken these photos and sent them to a magazine, that would be a different issue. But she handled this so appropriately. She came to us and said, ‘I understand I'm Miss Universe and I have this title, but as Dayana Mendoza, I'd like to share these photos.'" [MSNBC]
• Jerry O'Connell has enrolled at Los Angeles' Southwestern Law School. When his wife Rebecca Romijn was asked why he enrolled there she said he was, "very impressed with the faculty and the vibe here. This is brand new to him as well. He's very much looking forward to his education." [Us]
• In the video at the link Jessica Capshaw of Grey's Anatomy explains that the next season will be "heavy." [E!]
• Reese Witherspoon, who is filming the baseball movie How Do You Know has just recovered from getting a black eye a few weeks ago, and now she has another one. [Daily Express]
• Abbie Cornish, who was accuse of breaking up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe's relationship says, "It was a really difficult time for me... It was just this world of tabloid magazines that I'd never been exposed to. In a normal successful career, someone usually learns these things bit by bit. For me, it was like night and day. I woke up one day and there was this whole new thing I had to process and deal with." [W]
• Mike Tyson has given his first interview since the accidental death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus. "I am working with dealing with it," he says. "I have spoken to a lot of people. I have become a member of an exclusive club no one wants to join. I have been told the pain never stops but you get over it. I am going through a process, trying to heal. I am in denial, because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do or say. I appreciate everybody who supported me." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Victoria Beckman's rep says, "there are no talks of her being a permanent judge [on American Idol]. They felt she was natural in Denver. [But] she has Fashion Week coming up, and she is focusing on that." [L.A. Times]
• Lily Allen has but a Breitling watch she bough for herself that's too big up for sale on Twitter for £3,200. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Katie Price's new boyfriend, Alex Reid, hanging out with Katie and Peter Andre's son. Both are topless for some reason. [Daily Mail]
• "I love England. It would be a wonderful life experience to have an excuse to work here for six or nine months..." says Quentin Tarantino. "I am a huge fan of Simon Pegg, so I would definitely love to work with him. I also think Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses that ever lived, so I would be honoured to work with her. I am also a huge admirer of Anthony Hopkins. I would also love to work with Michael Caine. I can see them appearing in my movies, it just has to be right." [Daily Express]
• Q: How does it feel to be the face of Twitter. Ashton Kutcher: "It feels like I should own some of it but unfortunately I don't. However one person does not make a community." [Time]
• Q: Does it bother you to be called Mr. Demi Moore? Ashton Kutcher: No. Why would it? People have called me much worse. [Time]
• Rachel McAdams says of playing a mother for the first time, "I was excited and nervous about it because I haven't done it before. It was a welcome challenge. The little girls [Hailey McCann and Tatum McCann] in this film were so fantastic. They are real sisters and they made my job really easy. So I didn't have to work too hard at that." [People]
• "I think Pete's really honest, and there's something to be said for that, on this show. He's honest even when it works against him. He can't help himself. He has to say the blatant thing. He's like that guy who meets someone and says, "Oh wow, you have a mole on your nose!" I like people like that. They're not ashamed to go up to a guy and be like, 'Hey, how'd you lose your arms?' Like, 'Come on, everyone else is wondering, I had to ask!' But then, the guy without the arms is probably so sick of answering that question! ... He's no Don Draper. Like you said, he's the biggest rube in the room. And he's the biggest buffoon in the room." — Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men [Salon]

A programming note: tomorrow's final Crappy Hour will be a group affair. Meaning you.

Between 8:30 and 10:00, you can submit question or comments on the day's news by going to this site and running the live feed — then hop back over the Jezebel to submit some more and talk with other commenters from 10-11. I'll be answering questions and responding to comments live from 10:00-11:00 in honor of my last day.

As with yesterday, you can play along with our Rush Limbaugh Bingo game — called "Ditto" — by picking a card at random. To change it up a little, make the following changes (if you need to):

• Change "Howard Dean" to "Kathleen Sebelius."
• Change "government spending" to "deficit."
• Change "Speicher" to "elderly."
• Change "lobbyists" to "statism."
• Change "class" to "elitism"

The live-blog — and your game — begins below. May God have mercy on my soul.

2:59 pm: Oh thank God, he's done. Except... "the program never ends." It's like purgatory, it just feels like I'm in hell. But at least I'm free for now! Free at last!

2:55 pm: Oh, yes, you know it's a commercial break.

2:54 pm: Limbaugh has a ditto-head, and likes Laffer, astroturf and details. And he's bought that Dems invented astroturfing, as though it wasn't a lobbyist thing. Also, Dems scheme, etc, etc. Also, no Democrats are "people of faith."

2:53 pm: LaHood is apparently supposed to be loyal to the car companies Obama "owns."

2:52 pm: We're onto clunkers and Ray LaHood.

2:51 pm: Rush is on about Alabama, a bankrupt county and National Guard. Huh?

2:46 pm: Commercial break!

2:45 pm: It's all Socialism. Oh, and Obama plans to destroy all the current health insurance infrastructure.

2:43 pm: Oh, and Limbaugh's position is — I SWEAR — that we shouldn't insure 50 million "more" people because their won't be enough doctors for the people who could already afford health insurance. And so, instead of poor people dying, old people will be killed off.

2:42 pm: A caller swears she's "reading" this bill. Oh, and liberals want to take your rights away.

2:42 pm: DITTO players: statism

2:41 pm: Obama's voice gets sped up like a chipmunk, and Rush doesn't like cupcakes. Also, he repeats Helen Thomas's age, and says Obama will kill her if he can.

2:39 pm: ABC is state-controlled too, according to Limbaugh.

2:37 pm: DITTO players: Harry Reid

2:37 pm: Obama is encouraging all Democrats to lie. Also, to "shove it down their throats." Rush is really, really into deep-throating Obama.

2:36 pm: He calls Hillary voice shrill.

2:35 pm: Rush is re-rerunning the "humor" piece about how Obama is going to kill old people.

2:31 pm: DITTO players: recession

2:30 pm: Tom thinks the best way to stimulate the economy is to reduce the capital gains tax. Because, obviously, how much more people get back in tax refunds next April is the best way to stimulate the economy in August.

2:28 pm: Rush Limbaugh has gone emo, people.

2:26 pm: This dude is, like, seriously, seriously talking about every aspect of his personal unemployment. No wonder he stayed on the line for 2 hours and 20 minutes. And his wife says his self-esteem is really low and he's trying not to cry. Ummm, with his wife health insurance, maybe it's time for some therapy?

2:25 pm: He's not a whiner! He's sent 100 resumes and gotten one call back. You know, like everyone.

2:24 pm: Dude's wife is a "strong working woman" that's been supporting his ass while he listens to Limbaugh and holds on the phone. The man might lose his cable TV when unemployment runs out. Then they might have to do laundry less!

2:23 pm: Rush says that Obama is actively trying to keep people from getting jobs.

2:21 pm: This section of Limbaugh opens with music from the Go-Gos (sure they love that) and we go straight to a caller who's been on hold since noon. And dude is whining — while mouth-breathing — that he got laid off and is thinking of going back into the military. And he thinks Obama doesn't care if he has a job. Except, you know, he's going back in the military. So, he can get a job.

2:18 pm: MOMMY CARE, oh, God, when will it end?

2:16 pm: Limbaugh is getting the definition of astroturf organizing wrong (and makes a Clinton sex joke): astroturf organizing — developed for businesses lobbying efforts, by the way — is to gin up support for an issue by having dudes like Limbaugh talk about it ad nauseum and ad infinitum, thereby creating a movement for or against something that seems to start by people talking to one another but is really designed and led by opinion leaders. Sort of like Rush Limbaugh is doing by trumpeting these town hall meeting protests.

2:13 pm: DITTO players: David Axelrod

2:12 pm: Rush Limbaugh calls him a fascist, and then returns to town hall meetings and insulting Dick Durbin.

2:09 pm: Limbaugh just compared Obama and the health care reform to Iran. If you protest health care reform, you'll be the next Neda, dontcha know.

2:08 pm: Apparently, it's all very nefarious that the White House is attempting to debunk disinformation about health care reform.

2:07 pm: Limbaugh calls his show "the fastest 3 hours in media." Oh, hell, that's the biggest lie yet.

2:04 pm: MOMMY CARE, god fucking damn it.

1:59 pm: Rush thinks that Democrats hate insurance companies are hated because they're making profits, but not by ripping people off. Nope, not at all. Which reminds me, I've got to carve out a couple of hours to call my insurance company to remind them that they do insure me and are, indeed, obligated to cover my recent medically necessary biopsy that they thought I wasn't going to argue about.

1:57 pm: MOMMY CARE! Two days of Rush Limbaugh makes me want my mommy.

1:55 pm: It's commercial time again!

1:53: Rush's latest callers admitted they consider "town halls" a "protest" and they're organized by groups. Rush is like "these aren't community organizers or agitators," the subtext being they're not like ACORN. Of course, it hurts his line that it's all unorganized.

1:51 pm: Rush is now repeating himself about PeePee Jesus, and how the Democrats elect "disgusting" people (unlike Mark Foley and Larry Craig) and can't tell conservatives what to say. Like, word-for-word. I'm guessing he got his script pages mixed up.

1:50 pm: Rush Limbaugh refers to "Dick Durbin" as "Dick Turban." He's a Muslim, too, see? See?

1:49 pm: Democrats have contempt for Real Americans and don't know anything about what people want.

1:47 pm: There's a commercial for private jet time shares by an admitted former alcoholic old guy who mumbles like crazy. For real.

1:45 pm: Rush is claiming that the Democrats are hoping for violence at a town hall meeting to be able to demonize the conservatives to show up. After Tiller got killed, asshole, I kind of doubt that. He's gone to commercial now.

1:42 pm: Some lady from Dripping Springs, Texas is on the phone. She went to the Lloyd Doggett town hall meeting, and thinks that everyone there was individuals. Apparently, he held it in a grocery store parking lot without microphones. I've done one of those, and it went fine because no one booed anyone. "Many people became angry during the meeting" because he didn't know what they knew from listening to Rush.

1:42 pm: Also, Rush thinks that the government will assign you a doctor.

1:39 pm: Limbaugh says businesses will offload health care to the public option (except that, you know, it actually prohibits them from doing so); and now he says the dude will end up under the public option anyway despite being in a union that Obama loves. Or something. It's all quiet bullshitty and confusing.

1:38 pm: Some "entertainment industry" union guy says that he wouldn't give up his union-sponsored plan. That Rush thinks is paid for by his employer, but it actually isn't.

1:37 pm: Limbaugh thinks Al Gore should be in North Korea, and then makes fun of Clinton's voice.

1:36 pm: Apparently, Obama is withholding data on the cars purchased in the clunkers programs, which shows people are buying "foreign" cars, many of which are made in America, by the way.

1:36 pm: DITTO players: clunkers

1:35 pm: Limbaugh is doing a skit? It's about how Obama killed some old dude's wife. By a "white comedian." Big surprise.

1:31 pm: Commercial break.

1:29 pm: Keith Ellison talks about end-of-life care and talking with your family about your end-of-life wishes. That means the other evil Black Muslim wants to kill your parents. Because, really, DNRs and living wills are a terrible idea. Just spend, spend, spend on futile, painful and humiliating end-of-life care. That's the American Way.

1:27 pm: Rush Limbaugh is playing clips from a Keith Eliison town halls, and Rush is saying that Obama won't put his family into his public option, like that's even possible. Fun fact: Keith Eliison is an actual Muslim. Also, a woman says she is happy to go bankrupt to extend her father's life.

1:25 pm: DITTO players: Republicans

1:24 pm: Rush comes back to the strains to disco music. He's talking about Daryl Issa sending a letter to Rahm Emanuell accusing him of threatening people. Rush refers to it as "kneecapping" and — of course — forcing it down people's throats. Lady Gaga and Kid Cudi knows what he's talking about.

1:21 pm: And once you get your diet pills to radically reduce your weight and increase your sex drive, it'll be time for MOMMY CARE!

1:20 pm: Laffer's done, and it's time for another commercial break. "Attention female dieters!"

1:18 pm: Limbaugh thinks that Obama is a power-hungry dictator like Kim Jong Il and Hugo Chavez who doesn't care how many people suffer.

1:17 pm: DITTO players: Larry Summers

1:16 pm: Limbaugh wants to discuss the motivations of stimulus. Laffer thinks it's because all other economists are divorced from reality.

1:15 pm: DITTO players: stimulus

1:14 pm: DITTO players: Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush

1:12 pm: Art Laffer refers to "these people" when talking about the Obama Administration. Laffer wants non-doctors to perform medical procedures and prescribe medicine and tort reform. Laffer and Limbaugh want more Health Savings Accounts because it gives "power and control" to the patients by "allowing" you to use your own money to pay for health care without having to bother with that nasty pooling causing providers to lower costs.

1:10 pm: Laffer is arguing that the health care shouldn't be free to people because we use it too much when we can afford to pay for it. Not untrue, just a-ethical.

1:09 pm: Art Laffer is a dittohead

1:08 pm: So, Rush Limbaugh refers to Laura Ling as "a girl reporter" in a winking kind of tone, indicating Clinton's interest in their release is related to their gender. Also: he calls Hillary "the girl" and suggests that Obama dispatched her — for no reason — to Kenya to "kiss his father's grave" and ignores the fact that Bill Clinton's trip isn't an official visit. But whatevs.

1:08 pm: Ditto players: Hillary Clinton.

1:07 pm: DITTO players: Bill Clinton

1:07 pm: Yes, that was a 12 minute commercial break

1:06 pm: Patrick Warburton just voiced a forest ranger on a Smokey the Bear commercial I find Patrick Warburton extremely attractive. Please discuss.

1:04 pm: MOMMY CARE, bitches, do you not understand that not being there while your children grow up is the wrong choice?

12:56 pm: MOMMY CARE! Driiiiink!

12:55 pm: Yet another commercial break

12:54 pm: Rush says you're way more concerned about their jobs than health care.

12:52 pm: An ACTUAL dittohead says "Ditto!" And he's upset that Bill Press was on Fox News. And Rush — hilariously — says that Democrats are all reading off the same script, sort of like the ones the RNCs use to pass out to Republican talking heads in the Bush Administration (and still do).

12:52 pm: Art Laffer of the Texas Public Policy Foundation (a right-wing think tank) is going to talk about how the Obama health care plan in the nex y hours.

12:48 pm: Rush thinks Democrats just wanted you to "bow down and say 'Thanks for taking care of us.'" Man, Rush has some strange fantasies about what Democrats want him to do to them. Also: commercial break.

12:47 pm: Yeah, in fact, I know he's not quoting from the actual bill.

12:46 pm: By the way, Rush says that if you change jobs, you won't get to keep your same health coverage. Uhhhh, yeah. Also, he's reading from "the" House bill, but he doesn't identify which bill and LET ME JUST GUESS HERE, he's not reading from the one that's going through.

12:45 pm: By the way, even if we did go toward a single payer system, who exactly would be the doctors? The same doctors, right? Just asking.

12:43 pm: Also, Rush says if you don't have employer health insurance, you can only be insured by the government. Me and the 65 million other under- and uninsured Americans beg to differ, asswipe.

12:42 pm: Unions want to "upset" normalcy in America. They'd Obama's "buds".

12:42 pm: HAHA, by the way: America has the best health care system in the world. HAHAHA.

12:41 pm: Rush says that the Administration is "deceiving you" and wants to transfer your rights and liberties to themselves personally by saying that the plan allows you to keep your insurance, which it does.

12:40 pm: By the way, NBC is "state-owned media."

12:39 pm: Rush is now "imitating" Sebelius by speaking in a really high-pitched voice with a lisp.

12:38 pm: DITTO players: Rahm Emanuel, Kathleen Sebelius

12:36 pm: Rush really, really wants you to believe that Obama wants to eliminate private insurance, and attacking the White House press office.

12:35 pm: He didn't. He went back to the Jesus and pee-pee jar again. He's still pissed about that.

12:34 pm: In 2005, the Secret Service investigated an artist who created a piece of art showing Bush being threatened with a gun. He probably isn't going to mention the 33 death threats Obama gets every day.

12:31 pm: By the way, it's another commercial break and an ABC newsbreak.

12:30: DITTO players: liberals.

12:29 pm: "Obama is a big-eared idiot." Rush, by the way, uses a lot of sexual imagery to describe what he imagines Democrats want to do to him.

12:28 pm: "Why is it art when some guy dips a crucifix in a jar of urine... but a poster of Obama as the joker ... is over the line. That poster ought to be framed and hung in a museum! It's art, after all!"

12:27 pm: There's a commercial for poison control, telling you what to do if you've swallowed poison and regret it. Man, they know me so well already. I'm putting down the bleach now.

12:25: MOMMY CARE! It's drinkin' time.

12:23 pm: Rush is now quoting The Daily Mail. Also, Rush doesn't know why painting a black man in white face would be considered racist or offensive. And it's going to get "exciting" after this long, long commercial break.

12:22: DITTO players: blogs

12:21 pm: Rush Limbaugh thinks that Obama is the Joker from The Dark Knight because he: created chaos; wanted to change Gotham City in a way people didn't want; and wears masks. "This is his tactic for fooling white people."

12:20 pm: DITTO players: racist, George W. Bush

12:19 pm: Rush Limbaugh says that Obama's health care will make you all zombies. Rush is also not keen on logos and branding. He thinks it's basically all WWII-esque propaganda.

12:16 pm: Democrats are telling Americans "Screw you!" by passing health care reform because you don't want any changes to health care. Obviously, the 47 million uninsured or 12 million underinsured Americans don't listen to Limbaugh.

12:16 pm: DITTO players: Democrat

12:15 pm: Rush Limbaugh thinks the Democrats unruly mobs (booing and threatening them) are actually orderly. Obama is no longer a "community organizer," he's a "community agitator."

12:15 pm: DITTO players: Chris Matthews, health care

12:13 pm: Seriously, he's back on town hall meetings. Aaaaand, now we're back to Alinsky.

12:12 pm: Rush is freaking out about Saul Alinsky again. Get that? Obama = Jewish radical Communist.

12:11 pm: National deficit. I feel like we're in the way back machine. Amusingly, Limbaugh is now quoting Agence France Press, but he calls the Associated Press "state-run media." Also, he's bitching about companies offshoring.

12:11 pm: DITTO players: Barack Obama deficit

12:10 pm: He's talking about how you don't have any money anymore and aren't spending it. There's no recovery.

12:09: DITTO players: taxes, economy

12:08: DITTO players: Washington Post

12:07 pm: And the game's afoot. Rush Limbaugh thinks you should trust your feelings. Because you're smart, see?

12:04 pm: The Mommy-Care-Not-Day-Care bitch is back. Feel free to fantasize about violent revenge.

12:01 pm: ABC News reports, and I'm spared from listening to Limbaugh for a couple minutes. They're reporting on Bill Clinton's private trip to North Korea (at Al Gore's request) to get Laura Ling and Euna Lee released; the Sotomayor vote this afternoon; cash for clunkers; mortgage modification; and the stock market. Now we're back to commercials. Fun fact: Hot 97 (shouted out by Jay-Z in "Death of Autotune") also airs commercials for "My Baby Can Read."

Pick one of the follow cards at random, print it out, and play along!

[Generated using Print Bingo]

Just click on this link, pick a card at random. As Rush bloviates, I'll be keeping track while drinking and, in addition to trying to explain what crap he's spewing, calling out when he spews one of the terms on my list (and your cards). It's drunken Bingo!

If you have some urge to listen in, find your local station on Rush's site.

The live blog begins below:

2:59 pm: The lawyer apparently said, "Ben Roethlisberger has never forced himself on anyone, and especially on her." Rush thinks it's stupid to say "especially" and then refers to the alleged rape victim as "this babe." And then he's out for the day. And I'm going to find something to erase the memory of this all. I'll never leave Anna again.

2:55 pm: Rush doesn't have time to talk about lawyers, but apparently Ben Rothlisberger's lawyer said something about the rape case that amazed him.

2:54 pm: Obama is singlehandedly killing the job market, once he's done with the old people.

2:52 pm: This caller thinks Rush is an American hero. And she's talking about the chick who is suing her college over not getting a job, and is calling her lawyer a "Maxist lawyer" and calling her a whiner. Rush isn't totally against the college kid. The caller thinks that everyone is just lawsuit-happy in this country, and Rush thinks us young people are very entitled. They should also get off his lawn.

2:49 pm: Harry Reid brought up Rush wanting Obama to fail, and how that's wanting Americans to fail. Rush swears most people like their health coverage and don't hate their insurance companies. I think Rush probably doesn't know a lot of women. Also, for real, someone thinks Dems would attempt to assassinate Limbaugh because of his opposition to health care.

2:48 pm: Obama would kill old people with his bare hands. And only if they don't complain about their taxes. Also: Rush loves the words "statist" and "statism."

2:42 pm: Old guy who isn't senile wants to live a long time. But Rush says Obama health care will kill him. The old guy thinks HIV patients are getting a better deal than old people in Obama's plan in terms of rationing. Rush is stumbling... Rush says Obama has told old people to just die already. Rush suggests that the HIV patients will get special treatment because they're such reliable supports of Democrats. He's talking about TEH GHEYZ.

2:41: Rush keeps referring to health care as something American

2:40 pm: Believe Rush! He's just voicing your instincts! You're smart! Don't listen to facts! Just Rush!

2:39: DITTO players: Socialism!

2:38 pm: Apparently, the public option means they'll look at your computer. No, that was the PATRIOT Act, Rush. Also, Rush swears, SWEARS, he looks at Chavez shutting down radio stations and wants to do that, too.

2:35 pm: A new caller hates Senator Debbie "Stab-me-now" and keeps calling her Senators and Congressman keeps sending her form letters in response to her many queries.

2:30 pm: Some dude, Lee, is quite concerned that cap and trade might come up for a vote or Congress might pass card check this week. Rush agrees that the Dems might use the same tactics as Republicans did when they controlled the Senate to sneak stuff into other bills. He doesn't say it that way, and then goes to commercial.

2:28 pm: DITTO players: tea party

2:28 pm: Rush's third caller is a dittohead and teabagger and lovers her country and doesn't "want to see it sink into the sea." Betcha that, despite living in Florida, she doesn't believe in global warming.

2:25 pm: Limbaugh says a Supermax prison in Michigan or Leavenworth for Gitmo detainees to stay or try. Limbaugh's not opposed to Michigan for job-creation purposes, despite Harry Reid saying it would never happen. He also thinks all criminal trials have juries. They don't. But you won't get convictions in Michigan, Rush says. You know, because they're all black people.

2:25 pm: Plaxico Burris was apparently indicted for shooting himself.

2:23 pm: MOMMY CARE. I will find this woman, and I will hurt her.

2:21 pm: More ads. And I'm in the final stretch!

2:19 pm: Rush decides, without evidence, that there's government money being spent on this. And we've gotten them drunk.

2:18 pm: A homeless people's soccer tournament has earned Rush-bo's ire. Also, what does he have against the Associated Press?

2:16 pm: Limbaugh says that since the government has a stake in the car companies, Obama himself is making money off the clunkers program.

2:14 pm: Back to fucking clunkers! And Jim DeMint.

2:13 pm: Some chick wants her money back from her college because she hasn't found a job in the last 4 months. I can't tell whether Rush is for the chick and her court-clogging lawsuit or not.

2:09 pm: Back to Sebelius, and she's supposed to track trends in gender disparities in health care by gender. Apparently, this is bad.

2:08 pm: Back to the fucking clunkers again.

2:04 pm: MOMMY CARE

1:54 pm: Second caller! Back to health care. Dude wants to know if there would be an appeals process in claim-denial, and he figures there would be a "judge" to determine them, but he would swing to the left. Limbaugh makes one good point — an appeals process would take forever, which is what disability does. Then he ruins it by talking about clunkers again, then he pretends there won't be one. And it's ADVERTISING time again.

1:53 pm: Limbaugh wants the Chinese to trust us more. But you shouldn't trust the government, you should trust him.

1:50 pm: Robert Gibbs' voice being sped up to make fun of him, too. This is lame/tired.

1:48 pm: Limbaugh is back. Lame.

1:44 pm: DITTO players: public option

1:44 pm: Still talking about the public option. Also, those of you who believe in Obama are screwed. You should believe in Rush.

1:41 pm: Limbaugh speeds up Obama's voice, too.

1:40 pm: Obama doesn't like America. He wants to redistribute wealth or whatever.

1:39 pm: Limbaugh says the government wants to get you into the cars they want, and those cars aren't SUVs. Car dealers in upstate NY selling SUVs hand over fist (because "better fuel economy" means 22 mpg, by the way) would disagree.

1:38 pm: By the way, the stimulus was about creating chaos and distracting Americans. I thought that's what Rock of Love was for!

1:38 pm: DITTO players: stimulus

1:37 pm: HAHAHA Limbaugh uses facts and is reality-based! So he says.

1:37: DITTO players: conservatives, Bill Clinton

1:35pm: "These people" just don't care about you. Also, they're working off Rules for Radicals. Apparently the public option = a single payer system, Rush swears. Obama's just a big liar, etc.

1:33 pm: My friend, Hunter Walker, had a serious accident that left him in critical condition in a coma for 3 days which required multiple surgeries and months of physical therapy. He kept me company for a little bit this afternoon and has this to say about using oxycontin, which he was prescribed for pain while in physical therapy trying to recover from his accident, and Limbaugh.

I think we could make a very good case that Limbaugh's behavior all stems from some kind of opiate induced psychosis the paranoia. Disconnected statements and logics, unexplained bouts of rage: he's basically a semi-funcitoning smack head with a microphone. That type of weight loss is seriously indicative of drug use, look at Matthew Perry on Friends. I weighed like 120 something pounds after my accident from all the opiate puking. You dont get hungry on oxy, you're like always nauseous and you shit black water, if you're luck enough to be regularly shitting. I know this is TMI, but this is what Limbaugh is going through every day along with being high as a kite. Does he make more sense now?

1:31 pm: Yet another break. God, no wonder this shit is all over the airwaves, it must make ad revenue hand over fist.

1:29 pm: DITTO players: economy

1:27 pm: He's talking about lower tax revenues because of job losses.

1:26 pm: Limbaugh refers to the "state controlled Associated Press" and I LOL.

1:25 pm: DITTO players: Washington Post

1:24 pm: Limbaugh thinks it's about time that Republicans get their own people protesting for a living just like the Democrats.

1:22 pm: He's got his first caller! Chris from Indiana wants to talk about the Democrats at town halls, but she heard on MSNBC that the town hall hoopla is coming from tea baggers "in cahoots" with health insurance companies to disrupt the proceedings. Rush says that NBC isn't a credible source for him and he hates Richard Wolfe.

1:20 pm: MOMMY CARE MAKE IT STOP

1:17 pm: Limbaugh plays a clip where people boo Tim Bishop for saying "No one is talking about the government taking over health care" and is saying the dude is lying, not that the public option is the government taking over health care. And he's back to commercials again.

1:16 pm: DITTO players: liberals, polls

1:14 pm: DITTO players: New York Times, global warming

1:13 pm: I just listened to some crazy vet yell at Congressman Bishop about the VA system, and Limbaugh thinks you are smart and educated.

1:12 pm: DITTO players: Democrat

1:11 pm: Supposedly, Sebelius and Specter know they're lying about health care, and you're supposed to "know your place"

1:07 pm: He's ba-ack. He appreciates and respects his listeners, yo. But he has to unburden himself. Who the hell do I think I am? What makes me think that I deserve the same health care as Members of Congress? What do I do each day that is as important as Members of Congress? It's all a big sarcastic rant about how Democrats want to deny you good health care, only, you know, that's what Republicans are trying to do. He's also mentioned Pelosi, Reid, Sebelius, Obama and Frank again.

1:04 pm: Searching for something sharp and poke-y, as the mommy-care bitch is back. I think my roommate hid the scissors after she heard I was doing this.

1:01 pm: ABC newsbreak!

12:59 pm: Oh, Jesus, there is a "Hannity Freedom Concert," and Rush was just interrupted by a female diet commercial pill.

12:57 pm: Seriously, these commercials are going on forever. Is he fucking shooting up?

12:54 pm: The longest commercial break so far. Also, if I have to listen to this stupid woman talking about working from hom and giving her kids "mommy-care, not day-care" I might actually stab something in my ear.

12:45 pm: Seriously, the level that I care about the cash for clunkers program expired 7 minutes ago.

12:45 pm: DITTO players: stimulus (stimulate)

12:44 pm: DITTO players: John McCain, Republicans

12:42 pm: Rush isn't going to really bash the cash for clunkers program because his readers are using to to buy new SUVS, since "better" gas mileage is 22 mpg.

12:41 pm: DITTO players: subsidy

12:41 pm: Rush would like you to think that your taxes are going up.

12:40 pm: DITTO players: Larry Summers

12:39 pm: DITTO players: recession

12:38 pm: DITTO players: Tim Geithner, taxes

12:37 pm: DITTO players: health care (he's been saying insurance up until now)

12:36 pm: Rush has sped up Pelosi's voice to make her sound like a chipmunk.

12:35 pm: Rush wants you to ask what diseases/illnesses/drugs are covered and to what age. Because, by the way, that's the level of detail that goes into legislation and not HHS regulations.

12:35 pm: DITTO players: Harry Reid.

12:35 pm: He's got half his brain tied behind his back just to make it fair. For his listeners.

12:33 pm: There's now a commercial advocating that the government suspend all mortgages for a year and pay the banks for your mortgages. If, however, you rent, well, fuck you.

12:31 pm: I'm about ready to stop drinking and start mainlining Advil. This shit is giving me a headache. Anyone got a good recipe for an Advil cocktail?

12:29 pm: Rush wants you to know that Specter knows what's in the bill that hasn't been written yet so you should still boo him for not reading the bill. Also, then he craps on unions and Philadelphia.

12:28 pm: Seriously, Rush also says she's never been to the Real America. Of course, she's stuck up.

12:27 pm: Seriously, he's obsessed with Sebelius. He says she's contemptuous and part of a cabal.

12:27 pm: DITTO players: Barney Frank.

12:26 pm: Rush is claiming that Congress members are going on junkets instead of doing town halls, and saying none of them have read the bill. Also, that's stupid.

12:25 pm: Rush is playing audio of Sebelius getting booed for saying she was never a Member of Congress.

12:24: DITTO players: Nancy Pelosi

12:24: Commercial block #2 over, includes a PSA for Red Cross.

12:19: DITTO players: clunkers, Barack Obama.

12:18 pm: DITTO players: Sarah Palin

12:18 pm: "They're just mad that I look studly." GROSS

12:17 pm: He's not getting paid by the company, people. He's still really offended that people care about his weight loss. He doesn't think it's ironic that by the time I publish this, he'll have been talking about his diet for 11 minutes.

12:15 pm: He wants you to know, unlike the women on The View say, he's not taking appetite suppressants. But they want him dead. Seriously, 9 minutes of this?

12:11 pm: He refers to Dr. Maria Savard from GMA as their "medical babe." And now you know where all these Republicans think they have the right to bitch about any and everything. Also, I wish Rush would read Kate Harding's book Lessons from the Fat-o-sphere rather than shilling for this diet.

12:10 pm: Wait, we're still talking about his diet?

12:07 pm: Rush's mind is boggled. His producer is Cookie, and Good Morning America trashed Rush's diet and The View didn't like it either. This is the start.

12:05 pm: Five commercials and counting. At least one is a PSA. Rush-bo isn't even on yet!

12:00 pm It's ABC News time! Hoorah, I get a 2-minute reprieve from Rush.

Megan, who has been working for Jezebel in some capacity since way back in 2007, has taken an exciting, full-time gig with Air America's website, where she will be working under the auspicious title of "News/Politics" editor. There will be more on this - much more, including toasts, tears and thinly-veiled tirades - as her tenure here winds down, but for now please give her your best wishes in the comments. She'll need them, because, on Monday, she is being forced to liveblog Rush Limbaugh's radio program as punishment for her disloyalty.

• Rush Limbaugh has his big-boy britches in a wad over the nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court because she and President Obama are racists for thinking themselves not only equal to white people but superior to some...like Rush Limbaugh. By that standard, we are all racist! [Time]

• We're also superior to Larry Summers, who fell asleep during a motherfucking meeting again. [NY Post]
• Current Illinois Senator Roland Burris (surprise!) bought his sinecure from former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich just like everyone suspected he did. [Wall Street Journal]
• Burris is now departing on a tour of - wait for it - Central Illinois. [Associated Press]
• Obama, however, is headed to Sin City to help out Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, despite the fact that Reid will continue to fuck shit up. [LA Times]
• Apparently, the United States is considering a value added tax (VAT). Don't think that means we'll get to stop paying income taxes, though — the point is not to change the system, but raise more revenues. [Washington Post]
• Economists predict the recession will be over by the end of the year. [MSNBC]
• By then, North Korea might actually have re-ignited the Korean War, which actually never technically ended. What else does Kim Jong Il have to do these days? [NY Times]

• Yale University awarded Secretary of State Hillary Clinton an honorary Doctorate of Law yesterday, after which she spoke to the Law School graduating class. You know some of the undergraduate seniors were pissed. [Associated Press]

• Clinton will soon extend spousal benefits to all domestic partners (same sex or otherwise) of Foreign Service Officers, making other federal employees jealous. [Washington Post]
• One of her predecessors, Colin Powell, is sick of taking shit from Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney and Karl Rove. [Reuters]
• Karl Rove, for his part, still thinks Dick Cheney rulez and Colin Powell droolz. [Think Progress]
• Seventy percent of Americans disagree with Rove, but what else is new. [Time]
• Oh, and if you were wondering why, other than an Elektra Complex, Liz Cheney is running around kissing her dad's ass and talking about how good torture is for America's moral authority in the world, it's 'cause she's gonna run for office. [ThinkProgress]
• Kim Jong Il shot off a couple of missiles at that news. Then he launched some nukes. [NY Times]
• The RNC can't decide whether it wants to screw Nancy Pelosi or hurt her, but it certainly doesn't want to debate her policies because its full of a bunch of misogynist frat boys jerking off to old James Bond films. [Politico]

Rush's response here.

• This week's New York Times Magazine cover story on Obama's first hundred days doesn't look exceptionally celebratory. It looks more like, "This is what 100 days as President will do to you." [NY Times]

• Washington continues to buzz about Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter's party-switch, which even the White House didn't learn about until yesterday morning despite Joe Biden's efforts to get him to do it. [Washington Post]
• But in 2001, Specter blasted then-Senator Jim Jeffords for his party-switching; he even tried to make it illegal. [LA Times]
• Michael Steele's pissed off about the Specter switch because he was going to back Specter in the primary...which is probably partly what Specter was worried about. [Politico]
• Rush Limbuagh wants John and Meghan McCain to switch parties now, too. [Huffington Post]
• Republican Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine thinks assholes like Limbaugh are part of why the party is losing voters in droves and Senators in dribs and drabs. [NY Times]
• Specter's desertion means that Norm Coleman shall never surrender his fight to have the courts declare him the winner of the Minnesota Senate Race. [Politico]
• Speaking of Minnesota, Republican Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann thinks that the outbreak of swine flu is either a Democratic conspiracy, the result of God hating Democratic Presidents or poor management by Democrats. [ThinkProgress]
• Less insanity regarding American health: The Senate finally approved the nomination of Kathleen Sebelius to be Secretary of Health and Human Services, despite Republican opposition to the fact that a pro-choice President picked a pro-choice nominee for the gig. [Reuters]
• Keith Olbermann, like much of America, would really, really like to see Sean Hannity waterboarded. [USA Today]
• However, no one wants to see former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich take Moonlight Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof's offer of an apprenticeship. [PR Newswire]
• And, apparently, Pat Buchanan likened a Nazi war criminal to Jesus; in Pat's world, killing 29,000 of his fellow Jews is What Jesus Would Do. [Huffington Post]

• Barack Obama shot some hoops with the women of the NCAA champion Huskies and won. (Pic at left is from early April.) The jersey they gave him, though, was a bit too small. [The Swamp]

• He then had Rahm Emanuel rip a new asshole for the guy that approved the Air Force One photo op over New York City yesterday that scared the bejesus out of everyone. [ABC News, Politico]
• About two-thirds of Americans continue to think Obama's doing a good job, and another third are Republicans and tea-baggers. [Real Clear Politics]
• White people still think black people have it pretty good in America, and a lot of black people know that, just because we have an African-American President, it doesn't mean that racism doesn't exist. [NY Times]
• In other poll news, most Americans don't want some big series of hearings on torture because they would rather our government focus on fixing the fucking economy. [CBS News]
• Republicans want to prove that the Democrats didn't care about it in 2002 any more than a lot of Americans do now. [Politico]
• Newt Gingrich wasn't a fan of torture before Republicans took the White House. Apparently, Newt's moral compass points in the direction of whatever gets him elected when it's not pointing in the direction of a new piece of ass. [Huffington Post]
• More people will continue to crap their pants because of pigs. [Time]
• Obama is there, though, to hold the nation's hair out of the toilet. [NY Times]
• Mostly because Republicans are still pissed that a Democratic nominee for the Secretary of Health and Human Services doesn't plan to try to reverse Roe v. Wade and thus they don't want her confirmed. [Plum Line]
• Please take a minute to note that abortion politics weren't remotely part of the debate when a man was the nominee. Just sayin'.
• According to official talking points of wing-nuttery, Obama imported the piggie disease just to ram through the Sebelius nomination. [Washington Independent]
• Five members of Congress were arrested at the Sudanese embassy in a protest over Darfur because no one's paying attention to it anymore. [Politico]
• GM released its restructuring plan and it calls for the elimination of 21,000 jobs, 2,600 dealers, Pontiac, Hummer, Saturn and Saab. [LA Times]
• The universe of gun-owners — including Ducks Unlimited — is pissed at Rush Limbaugh for doing commercials for the Humane Society. Normally, I'd say not to piss off dudes with guns, but I'm sort of fine with Limbaugh pissing off dudes with guns. [Washington Times]

Apparently, back when Beyoncé met Barack and Michelle Obama (and he proved that he can do the "Single Ladies" dance), before Michelle called Barack out on his dance moves, Michelle told Beyoncé that she's happy her daughters look up to her — who, truth be told, does seem pretty fucking normal by comparison to some other train wrecks tweens idolize. Beyoncé, it sounds like, is still freaking out that Michelle said that. She isn't, however, freaking out as much as Mike Rawls, who is a huge Washington Wizards fan and apparently spent much of Friday night's game between the Wizards and the Chicago Bulls trash talking with the President of the United States. And you thought he was cute before.

Oh, you want to hear about actual politics? No, I know you don't, so I should probably mention that this morning, Michael Steele called the Rush Limbaugh brouhaha a "sideshow distraction" and the Democrats cooked the whole thing up months ago when they realized that Rush Limbaugh has worse popularity numbers than Dubya (or Jeremiah Wright) and that Limbaugh was likely to stumble right into their trap. Which he did, followed by the entire Republican establishment! And while we're talking sideshow train wrecks, the National Enquirier is reporting that John Edwards has told Elizabeth that he really did knock up his mistress, Rielle Hunter, which is a truth I pretty much figured out last summer when I put together a time line of events related to Rielle.

Fine, real talk. Iran has pretty much told us to fuck off again because we're not willing to disavow the established nation of Israel; moderate and conservative Democrats aren't actually keen on the idea of spending even more money and raising rich people's taxes, and the same Republicans who thought it was a great idea to eliminate the minority party's ability to filibuster judicial nominees a couple years ago now plan to... filibuster the new President's judicial nominees. Also, Obama has finally started "consultations" on eliminating the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, Norm Coleman wants to get a new election and Obama has declared March Women's History Month.

As for Brad Pitt, the movie star is going to be meeting with Nancy Pelosi today, which is way more interesting and honorable than Pelosi's bow to the demands of the NRA yesterday.

Not surprisingly, Janeane mercilessly mocked Rush and his call for the comelier sex, alleging that the single, syndicated radio host is not on the hunt for fellow (female) ideologues or to discover why women hate him so much but looking simply for sex and companionship. Which, of course, begs the question: If you were a woman trying to get Mr. Limbaugh's loving attention in a "cattle call", how exactly would you audition? Your best guesses, in the comments.

Related: Janeane Garofalo on Rush Limbaugh's Sex Appeal [MediaBistro]
Rush Limbaugh Wants To Know Why Women Hate Him [Feministe]
Limbaugh To Convene A ‘Female Summit' To Figure Out Why Women Hate Him [Think Progress]