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posts about #runningofthebrides more → Bride Wars: Recessionistas Strip Wedding Dresses From Superstore
New York, 6:58 AM
Mon Dec 21
18 posts in the last 24 hours
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Bride Wars: Recessionistas Strip Wedding Dresses From Superstore |
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02/27/09
I want the big poofy white wedding if I ever get married, and I'll be damned if I get called a spoiled princess for bargain shopping to do it. While I don't necessarily condone the grabby crazed behavior people can exhibit at massive discount sales of any kind (Black Friday, for example), I feel like the so-called "critiques" here are in many cases a continuation of the attack on "girly" things that often (and ironically) crops up here.
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I know, I know, but the wedding industrial complex! and forcing women to buy crap they don't need! and going into debt! and concentrating on the wedding more than the marriage! I get that those things exsist. But they are going to exsist, regardless of how sickened we might feel about them, or how superior we feel about our simple, inexpensive courthouse ceremonies to our one true loves.
Don't you think that many, many of these brides feel the same way? That they are making the best choice for them and their husband to be, and, on some level, their families?
And really, is the Wedding Industrial Complex any different than the fashion/home/lifestyle complexes that try to convince us that we need a new, fancy bag/countertop/yoga mat? There is an entire workforce that exsists simply to get us to buy crap, to think bigger than our budgets, to want things that are 'better' than what we already have or can easily attain. Why is it that we feel so much angst about these same marketing pressures directed toward weddings?
Big, white, traditional weddings aren't a bad or awful thing. They can be fun, maybe a little silly, but who cares? It's not your wedding, is it?
02/27/09
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02/27/09
I mean, I drink coffee every day. Sure, it could be because in the US grown-ups are supposed to drink coffee before work and complain about mornings, but maybe it's just because I really like the taste. But, you know, since I can't defend my liking of the taste of coffee, I guess I should give it up.
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+ Watch video
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02/27/09
I don't look good in white anyway. Take that wedding-industrial whateverthefuck.
02/27/09
02/27/09
This. No. Just no. I couldn't go near this shiz.
02/27/09
It's just that, when people start to act like hyenas at a dead antelope party, I begin to question their sanity. That's all.
I personally don't love giant froofy dresses. I also can't really wear white--I'm very very fair, and my features all melt and blend and make me look like a peeled potato with tiny beady eyes. (NB: My eyes are not actually tiny and beady.) I don't know if I'll ever get married, but if I ever do, I'd kind of like to just get something fresh and springtime-y. Maybe in a really pale celadon. From, like, Ann Taylor Loft. Or maybe just jeans and a T-shirt at the courthouse. I'm not very fancy about these things.
02/27/09
2nd - I would get so pissed off, I would be no good in a sale like that. I got mad at the girl with the lavendar backpack JUST WATCHING.
And when she kept walking away from that GARGANTUAN pile? If your not physically with the merchandise it's fair game in my book. IT'S ON BISH.
Yeah, like I said, good thing I wasn't there...
02/27/09
02/27/09
Is this footage both slightly demeaning and more than a little silly? Yes. But this is not some sort of "Oooh, recession, let's have a bridal sale!" This is an annual event that has occurred for at least a decade. I'm not entirely sure why it's being commented on now, unless it's just been noticed by those in charge of the site.
Moreover, though, I think the commentors are being truly mean to both the women who participate in these sales, as well as any woman who has any sort of socio-normative idea for their wedding. WHY is it offensive to you if someone wants a big poofy gown and and over-the-top reception? WHY must there be a barrage of insults and comments expressing the commentor's clear superiority to any woman who would be "tricked" into prusuing a certain type of wedding? WHY must you all be so MEAN to them?
When I was going to school in Boston, the buzz about the Filene's bridal sale started about a month before the sale did. Girls who were engaged would get together with their bridesmaid and form a plan: what kinds of gowns they wanted (shape, size, etc.), the best strategy inside the store (from what I hear, it kinda sounds like planning your next level in Mario Brothers crossed with Risk), how much money they were willin to spend, how early that morning/the night before to get there to wait in line, where to go for drinks after, etc. None of the girls I knew who went through this process were narcissistic twits, like so many of you seem to assume they are. They were getting married, the Bridal Sale is a HUGE tradition, and they thought it would be fun. And ALL Of them HAD fun! Of the 7 girls I knew who participated in the "Running of the Brides," only one found a dress at the sale she liked -- but ALL SEVEN of them had a GREAT time doing it.
But here, in this thread, they're just insulted to death. "I wouldn't be caught dead doing this!" "I can't believe women would act this way!" Get over yourselves! This site preaches a lot about stopping girl-on-girl crime, but these comments are so full of it's making me sick.
02/27/09
Imagine Paris Gellar on Gilmore girls. I might not be like her in the rest of life, but in a situation like this I am, oh, I so am.
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And I just don't see what's wrong with that.
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I'm not sure the meanness you perceive is towards a person who wants a big party and a nice dress. I think it's towards racing to buy a gown and squealing, and NBC showing this stuff.
We are not talking with those people or hurting them in any direct way. We are talking about this phenomenon, where it comes from, and how we view it. Some don't view this little clip favorably, just like you don't agree with all the comments.
This happens over and over in many threads. A topic is discussed, and eventually someone will dislike or disapprove of the tone, and make a comment like yours. Please do contribute your thoughts.
But, on the other side, I want to be able to discuss this stuff and contribute my thoughts. I want to turn things over and view things from all sides.
I notice it most on the religion threads. I just want to discuss, and think out loud.
02/27/09
Would there be as much running and squealing without the cameras? Because several commenters have mentioned that things are civil in Boston and Atlanta, with dress trading.
02/27/09
I think what stoprobbers finds distasteful is not that there exists a backlash to the "wedding industrial complex", but that the backlash is so strong and goes the other way--"Nobody should shop like this because I don't like it! Why would you bother with a big/traditional wedding? I don't like it!"
I mean, I think some people DO feel pressured by culture/tradition/family to have an enormous, expensive wedding that they might not really WANT, and there's that whole weird Disney-fied cultural meme-thing that glorifies the perfect pretty white wedding as the be-all end-all of existence (and not necessarily the marriage thereafter.) A lot of people are not comfortable with that, and prefer weddings in jeans and tees at the courthouse, or small backyard weddings in little spring dresses, and that's why they're expressing their disdain at some of the more drastic aspects of wedding planning and preparation.
But, if someone likes the idea of a traditional, or big/glitzy, or what-have-you wedding, and if they can afford it and they can do it sanely and everyone has a great time, I have no place to judge. It isn't for me, but it's not my wedding!
(Just, if anyone has a huge wedding, and invites me, 1) have an open bar and 2) do not be surprised to see me doing little barefoot happy dances after too many whiskey sours.)
02/27/09
Or maybe the reason that the New York one seemed more obnoxious is because New York brides are more obnoxious? Though... y'know.. Boston isn't exactly known for its......... manners?
(I love you, Boston, really. You were cold, but those 4 years were GREAT. And I know you'd like me to tell it like it is.)
02/27/09
But I do think there is something different about pointing out how crazy these women get over dresses. It's not the fact that it's wedding dresses that bugs me, it's the stampeding and rudeness that often occur at these things - like at Black Friday, which I mentioned in my previous post. That graspiness (NB: not a word) grosses me out. It could be men buying lawn mowers, people buying electronics, whatever.
02/27/09
02/27/09
why is it offensive to you that some people think that is cheesy and lame?
I'm not offended by peoples' wedding choices. I could give a flying fuck. Do whatever makes you happy. But if you can't defend it, maybe you should question why you do it.
02/27/09
You can say you don't get it. You can say you wouldn't do it for yourself. But you should say "Oh gross, I can't believe women do that!" or something equally insulting to the women involved. They don't think it's cheesy, and they shouldn't be insulted for making themselves happy.
02/27/09
Is that an acceptable justification for doing this? Or would you further insult these women for being "brainwashed" by the "wedding-industrial complex?"
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