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11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile

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mariamariamaria
11/24/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
Express yourself by leaving the toilet seat up all you want, bro, just clean up the damn sprinkles.
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darialove
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
4. The green light to actually have sex, should the opportunity arise, with someone on his Celebrity List of Five. And by all means, hop on Brad Pitt if you ever get the chance.

..... seriously? no guy in the world would want me to fuck brad pitt. because you know they'd be doubting themselves the minute the hopped back into bed with you.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
11/24/08

@darialove: The funny thing about Celeb Sex Lists is that there is actually a chance, however small, that women will encounter a horny male star. Guys finding a female celeb willing to indulge a groupie? Not so much.
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drinkwater
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
As TheFormerJuneBronson said previously, the truly troubling thing about this article is that it puts all the pressure on women to reform and change their ways, and puts nothing on men. Where are the hundreds of articles discussing what women want and how men are going to accommodate their women? They don't exist, certainly not in the proportions of the former.

This is exactly the problem. Why is it that in this society, in the year 2008, the women are expected to do all the emotional heavy lifting? Why are so many women expected to manage the relationship and manage their own expectations, while men are expected to "be themselves"?

There is nothing in that list that is necessarily out of bounds. Of course men deserve their own space. We should want to make our partners happy. But where is Erik Harper's list of "Top 11 ways in which I make an effort to make my partner happy?" Why is it always about the shit you're not getting from women?
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Hana Maru
11/23/08

@drinkwater: Yeah, our magazines give us lists of things we need to improve on, so we can be worthy of men, of whom we shouldn't expect to change at all.
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Hana Maru
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
I can't get over the fact that this guy justifies his immature bs, calling it "an act of rebellion" to leave the toilet seat up. Memo to douchebags: your girlfriend is not your mom.
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cirocco
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
It seems to me that these all boil down to One Thing: "Woman, act like a grown-up while your man acts like a little boy." If a man wants me to suppress and/or get over all my leftover adolescent girliness (jealousy, wanting to talk about what's upsetting me without interruption, expecting my boyfriend to share everything he knows) he'd better fucking well not be mooning over lost football games, leaving a mess in the bathroom, and high-fiving his buddies.

It never ceases to amaze me: men don't realize that women only start acting like their mothers when they won't stop acting like children.
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Hana Maru
11/23/08

@cirocco: Preach it!
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CrankyOldBroad
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
A whole list now, wow. Whatever happened to the singular-yet-effective "Show up naked, bring beer"?

Erik, you whining piece of snot, the ladies have one requirement only: grow the fuck up.
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BluebellaElliot
11/23/08

@CrankyOldBroad: I kind of like showing up naked with beer.
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The Queen of No
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
This list makes the whole male species sound like a bunch of douchebags, and they're NOT. I've never been with a guy who ever thought like this. Who are these douchebags and where are they, so I can be sure to avoid that place.
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Hana Maru
11/23/08

@glowingliketheocean: Oh, guys like this for some reason insist on speaking for all men.
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veronykah
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
I guess I'm that horrible woman. When the Yankees lost in the playoffs a few years ago and my BF at the time cried I made fun of him, and told all his friends.
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mommy_dearest
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
OH, my dear, sweet Mariners... must you always bring up the sucky sucking part?
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hortense
11/23/08

@mommy_dearest: I know. They break my heart every year. I love them, too!
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Jenloveshercurves
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
At one point he mentions Man vs. Wild being a Tivo staple. Man vs. Wild is a Tivo staple for me because Bear Grylls rubs me the right way. Or more accurately, I rub myself the right way to Bear Grylls. The end.
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
Ooh, douche chills.
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sequined
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
I'm reading "the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked" to mean "the Washington Huskies," but I don't think the Mariners suck worse than the Huskies right now, so I'm losing you, Hortense.
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Lox
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
Dear Erik,

[images.despair.com]

P.S I wish I knew how to embed images
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funnyface
11/23/08

@Lox: type this, only with < instead of [ :

[img src="http://www.urlhere.com/jpg"

the important thing is NOT to close the < after the url in quotes. Just hit a space. And if you're using the "preview comment" feature, you should be able to see if your image is going to show up or not.
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queenieinmanhattan
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
Um, who has this guy been dating, exactly? All of these things are things that come naturally in a relationship between interesting, funny, trusting people.

So either he has terrible taste, or, more likely, he's too much of a douche to date smart, funny, trustworthy, secure women.

I'll laugh when it's funny, asshole. Kinda like I'm laughing at you now.
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Eric Northman is mine
11/23/08

In reply to 11 Things He Wants From You: Shut Up, Go Down, And Smile
awwww, i loved ten things i hate about you in high school. RIP Heath!!!!
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